A Different Divergent: Everyday Love
by moonshine356
Summary: After two peaceful years in Dauntless, Tris and Tobias' happy family is once again tested by unseen forces out of their control in the fourth installment of my Different Divergent series: Everyday Love. Will everything they've built come crashing down around them or will they find their happily ever after? Based on Veronica Roth's characters from the Divergent trilogy.
1. Chapter 1

The aroma of garlic, tomato, onion, basil, and Italian seasoning drifts up to greet me as I trudge through the apartment door after a couple very long, stressful days at work, and my stomach growls loudly in anticipation of the delicious-smelling, home-cooked meal. It's unusual for Bridget, our kids' nanny, to cook but I'll take it. It's one less thing for me or Tobias to have to worry about tonight.

"I'm home," I call out as I hang my keys on the hook in the entryway, set my overnight bag down on the bench, and kick my new pair of combat boots off my aching feet and then make my way into the quiet living room. When I find the room empty, I can't help but wonder where everyone's at. After being in Abnegation for two days because of lengthy council meetings, I expected to be greeted by three very excited, hyper kids fighting for my undivided attention, so the unexpected silence piques my curiosity. "Where's everyone at?" I pad around the corner into the kitchen only to find it deserted as well. "Hhm." I slowly climb the stairs, and as I approach my bedroom door, I stop in my tracks. There lying in the middle of my king-sized bed, sound asleep, are Tobias, Tyler, Tessa, and, Teagan. A broad smile fills my face. I know that I've missed them but until right this second, I didn't know just how much. I'd love nothing more than to ease into bed on the other side of Tyler and take a nap myself, but I don't want to disturb them. Instead, I lower myself into the rocking chair that sits in the corner of the room that affords me a view of each of their peaceful faces.

Tobias has physically changed over the past few years but not to the extreme. He looks less like the strong but lost adolescent who helped me out of the net three years ago and more like the man unforeseen circumstances like stopping a faction war, crazy stalkers plotting against us, two adoptions, and an unplanned pregnancy forced him to be long before his time. I notice the faint worry line he's come to have between his brows is less pronounced while he's sleeping. I wish he could always be this carefree and relaxed, but it isn't always easy with three young children at home and a volatile faction to run. The one thing that hasn't changed is how he makes me feel. Sure, we have our fair share of disagreements and there are times I feel like pushing him off the Hancock Building, in a zip line harness of course, but I still get weak in the knees when he walks into a room, butterflies take up residence in my tummy when he kisses me, and when we make love … there are no words. It's more than the joining of our bodies; it's the joining of our hearts, minds, souls, and spirits.

I slide my eyes from my handsome husband to my three beautiful children who are napping peacefully under the protective umbrella of his arm. My sweet little Teagan Grace is on her tummy with her blonde waves framing her innocent face, her little tush stuck up in the air. She's got her tiny fist wrapped around her daddy's pinky, which is funny because it's actually the other way around. She has _him_ wrapped around _her_ little finger. She may look exactly like me, except for her father's indigo eyes and, to be completely honest, she acts like me most of the time, but she is a Daddy's girl through and through. The only time she really wants me is if she's tired, not feeling well, or hurt then she cries for her mama. It's hard to believe that in just a little over two short months she'll be 2 years old. I don't know where the time has gone. It seems just like yesterday we were celebrating her first birthday, and she took her first steps to impress all of her guests. Now we can't slow her down. She toddles behind her big sister, following her everywhere. I always knew that one day my girls would be inseparable, and I was right. They're best friends.

I look at Tessa who has a content smile on her angelic face. It's hard to believe that we've celebrated not one but two of her birthdays already. I vividly remember the moment Tobias gently laid her in my arms for the very first time. She was so tiny, soft, and warm, and I was a nervous wreck. I fell in love for the third time in that very moment. She's no longer my roly-poly baby though. She's slimmed down and shot up; I think one day she'll be taller than her father. Her nearly-black curls hang down past her shoulders, and her inquisitive bluish-gray eyes are the most beautiful I've ever seen. She may look just like Tobias but she's definitely her mama's girl, although recently she's developed an independent streak. Her favorite sentence is, "No! I do it!" Yesterday, before I left, she came downstairs in a bright red tank top, lime green capris, and a rainbow-colored tutu. She pulled the look together with her favorite pair of shoes, combat boots that look just like mine. A chuckle escapes my lips remembering, and she yawns and rolls toward her brother. Oops!

I look at Tyler and my heart constricts. He's the one who has changed the most over the past couple years. He's no longer the confused, frightened, malnourished, shy toddler we took in after Evelyn was admitted to the hospital with pregnancy complications that eventually took her life. Now he's a healthy, active, very happy 4-and-a-half-year-old boy who just happens to look more and more like Tobias each and every day. I still don't know what we did to get so lucky. Every time we look at Tyler and Tessa, we only see ourselves. No one even thinks of them as adopted anymore. They're just ours.

"Mama?" Teagan mumbles as she yawns widely. "Home?"

"Yeah, baby girl," I whisper. She sits up and rubs her eyes with her little fists then smiles brightly as I get up and stand at the end of the bed. "Come here." I hold my arms out to her, and she crawls down the mattress and directly into them. I hug her tightly and kiss her temple as she clings to me.

"Do you want to rock with Mommy?" I quietly ask her and she nods. I sit back down in the rocking chair and leisurely rock back and forth while I gently run my hand up and down her back. "I missed you so much, Teags." Tyler's nickname for his baby sister stuck, and it's what everyone calls her now.

"Miss you," she says. She leans back, puts her little hands on either side of my face, puckers up, and gives me a sloppy, wet kiss.

"Thank you, my sweet girl," I say. "I love you."

"Lub 'ou."

"Tris?" Tobias quietly asks, his deep voice thick with sleep as he lifts his head from his pillow.

"I'm home," I whisper when I see confusion on his face. He looks at the clock on his nightstand.

"You're early," he says as he rolls out of bed, being careful not to disturb Tessa and Tyler.

"Well, if you're not happy to see me, I could just leave again."

"No!" Teags admonishes.

"You were gone too long as it was," he says with a warm smile brightening his face just before his lips gently meet mine. He kisses me softly as he holds my face between his strong hands. He slips his tongue between my parted lips and sensually strokes it against mine causing me to sigh. "You are a sight for sore eyes, love." His lips never leave mine and desire stirs deep in my belly, but I'm brought back to reality when our daughter starts squirming in my lap between us.

"Mama, Dadda!" she giggles. "'Ucky!" Tobias drags his lips from mine, leaving me breathless and smiles down at our little Peanut.

"Are you laughing at your mommy and daddy, Teags?" he asks, breathing heavily then he looks at me. "Why do all our kids think it's so gross when we kiss?"

"It's a good thing _Mommy_ doesn't think it's yucky," I say with a wink.

"I missed you, Tris," he says, running his knuckles down the side of my face.

"I missed you, too," I say. Teagan starts whining and holds her arms out to her father, and he effortlessly lifts her from my lap. She wraps her little arms tightly around his neck and presses her cheek to his, grinning like a loon.

"Shall we check on supper?" Tobias asks me. I nod and get to my feet. "I started someone's favorite."

"I smelled spaghetti sauce when I came in," I say as I take his proffered hand and follow him downstairs.

"There are meatballs in the oven and salad in the fridge," he says. "I'm going to make some garlic bread and cut some fruit up to round out the meal." He sets Teagan on her feet, and she waddles into the sunroom and pulls her favorite puppy dog puzzle off the shelf and sits on the slate floor and dumps the box. I feel Tobias' arms wrap around my waist and pull me to him as we watch our daughter flip the pieces over then determinedly put them back together.

"I know I was only away overnight, but I swear she's grown," I say as I caress his arms. "I missed you all so much."

"We missed you, too," he says against my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. He turns me in his arms, and I slide my fingers into his dark curls. He needs a haircut. "But I missed you the most."

"I know. I couldn't sleep either," I say. He lowers his mouth toward mine and just before our lips touch, what sounds like a herd of arguing elephants come trouncing down the stairs. I sigh and look toward the racket. When Tyler and Tessa see me, they stop in their tracks, eyes wide and mouths hanging open then huge smiles spread across their faces.

"Mommy!" Tyler yells as Tessa squeals, "Mama!" I squat down as they fly down the remaining stairs and straight into my arms. I hug them both tightly, kissing them repeatedly. Teagan comes rushing out of the sunroom and wriggles her way between her brother and sister, not wanting to feel left out, and I land on the floor on my butt. Tobias tries to cover his laughter with a fake coughing fit, doing his best to hide his amusement, and I roll my eyes at him as I gather all my babies in my arms.

"I missed you all so much," I say, squeezing them tightly to me and kissing their heads.

"I missed you, Mommy," Tyler says, kissing my right cheek.

"Miss you _so_ much," Tessa dramatically says, nearly choking me with her hug.

"Miss 'ou," Teagan says as she first elbows Tessa and then Tyler, making them loosen their grips on me then lunges forward, hugging me tightly.

"Ouch," Tyler whines, rubbing his side as Tessa starts crying then pushes her little sister who falls onto the floor and bumps her head causing her to cry. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. _Welcome home, Tris._

" _Mama_ ," she cries, holding her arms out to me.

"Hey, hey, hey," Tobias says as he lifts Tessa out of my lap. I pick Teagan up and try to comfort her but she's inconsolable.

"That wasn't very nice, Tessa Beatrice. You don't push your little sister." She sniffs and frowns at her father, tears still sliding down her cheek.

"She hitted me," she mumbles.

"You don't push her even if she hits you," he says. "What do you say?"

"Sowwy, Teags," she says. He kisses her on the head then sits her on her feet. She runs into the living room and straight to the toy box. Tobias kneels in front of me. He runs his hand over the red mark on the side of Teagan's head and grimaces with concern.

"And you shouldn't hit your brother and sister, Teagan Grace," he sternly says. "That's not nice."

"Sowwy, Dadda," she whines, her bottom lip quivering.

"Why don't you go back to your puzzle," I say as I kiss the bump on the side of her head. "You love that puzzle."

"'Kay," she says then sniffs. She kisses me again then wiggles her way out of my embrace. She frowns at her dad then heads back to the sun room. I notice that Tyler is still quietly sitting on the floor looking at me. I hold my arms out, and he crawls right into them.

"Have you had a good day?" I ask as I manage to get myself to my feet while still holding onto him. I won't be able to pick him up like this too much longer. His feet are hanging halfway down my body.

"Yeah!" he says as his eyes light up. "Daddy took me to the training room. I played on the bags while him … him … um …?"

"Worked out," Tobias offers as he takes the perfectly baked meatballs out of the oven.

"Worked out," Tyler repeats. "Then we had breakfast in the cafeteria … _just the two of us."_ His eyes slide to his father with such a look of admiration and adoration. "We had _so_ much fun."

"We did, didn't we, buddy?" Tobias says, ruffling his hair affectionately. "We need to do that more often."

"Yeah!" he says then he looks at me. "Can we watch a movie after supper?"

"I think that can be arranged," I say. "Why don't you go pick one out while I talk to your father?"

"Okay," he says. After another hug I set him on his feet. He's heading towards the living room when he stops and turns back towards us. "I'm really happy you home, Mommy. Daddy was lonely while you was gone. I think he cried." He turns and disappears around the corner to search for a movie.

"He's a very smart boy," Tobias says as he rests his hands on my waist. I turn toward him with a look of confusion filling my face. "Except for the crying part … I swear I didn't cry but I did miss you like crazy. I'm so glad you're home." He slides his hands to the small of my back then down to my backside and draws me closer to him still.

"I missed you, too," I say as I go up on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck. "I was lying in my old twin bed at my parent's house staring at the ceiling wishing I was in your arms, missing you. I wasn't kidding earlier when I said I couldn't sleep. I'm not sure I slept at all last night."

"Do you want to cancel our plans for tonight?" he hesitantly asks.

"Not on your life." Even though we met three years ago tomorrow, it's become our tradition to celebrate the night before. Two years ago, he took me to the net and last year we went to the chasm. He won't tell me where he's taking me tonight but I'm thoroughly looking forward to it. Sometimes we let life get in the way, and we don't get the chance to enjoy each other as much as we'd both like. "It's our anniversary, Mr. Eaton. I wouldn't cancel on you for anything."

"Glad to hear it, Mrs. Eaton," he says. He tightens his grip on me and lowers his lips to mine, but he pulls away after a minute, being careful not to get too carried away. "I can't wait to get my hands on you tonight but right now I need to finish supper, and you need to sit before you fall over." He releases me and moves toward the stove while I sit down at the island. He pours me a cup of piping hot, strong, black coffee then sets it down in front of me. "Here you go, love."

"Thanks, baby," I say, raising my lips to his for a quick peck. "How did the final preparations for initiation go? I'm sorry I wasn't here to help."

"I think I can hold one meeting without you," he says with a wink and I can't help but smile. I love when he's this relaxed. "Everyone's set for the new class of initiates to arrive tomorrow. We'll make our usual rounds unlocking all the necessary areas. Uriah, Christina, Brody, and Ana will meet us at the net to welcome the jumpers around 3 p.m. Will and Shauna will be representing Dauntless at the Choosing Ceremony; they'll leave for the Hub at around 11 a.m. James, Simon, and Tony will take care of business as usual in the compound. We'll all meet up in the cafeteria for supper then once all the initiates join us, we'll give a short welcome speech then we can go home and leave the rest of initiation to the professionals." Shortly after Tori stepped down from leadership, Will, Tobias, and I offered the spots vacated by Harrison and her to Shauna and James not because they're good friends of ours but because they were more than qualified and their vision for Dauntless was in sync with ours.

"That sounds great. I don't think I would have made it through one more initiation training the transfers," I sigh. Even though I told Tobias I didn't want to train initiates after that first stressful year, we helped Brody and Ana out last year when we had a record number of transfers join Dauntless. It was tough. Tyler was going through a particularly clingy phase, Tessa was teething almost nonstop, and Teagan was still breastfeeding and absolutely _hated_ taking a bottle. Most days she would refuse one, so I had to leave the initiates and go to the daycare center to feed her. I was exhausted all the time and got quite grouchy. That was the longest nine weeks of my life.

"Brody and Ana will do a great job," he says. "I'm not worried about them at all, and they both know that they can come to either one of us if they have questions. What I'm concerned about is not knowing what to do with myself all day. I'm so used to being in the training room for hours on end. It's going to feel odd going to my office instead."

"You're just going to miss all the girls mooning over you," I say.

"There's my green-eyed goddess," he says as he smirks over his shoulder at me. "I was wondering when you were going to show up." I roll my eyes at him.

"You think you're funny but you're not," I say a little more defensively than I mean. "I'm sorry. It's not easy seeing other women undress my husband with their eyes day in and day out. I swear if any of them make a play for you this year, I'm going to kill them. There's no other options left." Two years ago, it was Olivia and last year it was Freya. I can't help but sigh thinking about her. At least I don't have to see _the bitch_ openly flirt with my husband nearly every single day since she is locked up in the psychiatric unit at the hospital. Unfortunately, last year's annoyance made it all the way through initiation with a high enough ranking to be a thorn in my side on at least a weekly basis since she works in the control room.

"Please tell me you're still not jealous," he says as he pulls some strawberries, peaches, blueberries, nectarines, and yogurt out of the refrigerator for a fruit salad. He sets the bowl down on the island then slides a paring knife my way.

"Jealous?" I repeat with a sigh. "I don't think I'm jealous. I know you love me. I know you would never cheat but it's disrespectful for these … _tramps_ to basically eye fuck you right in front of me." I whisper the last part, not wanting my children to hear me talk that way. "Don't you agree?" He sets his knife down on the cutting board and takes the one I'm holding out of my hand like he's afraid I might try to stab him with it.

"I do agree … 100%," he says as he wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head, trying to placate me. "I just wish it didn't bother you so much though because," he puts his mouth against my ear, "I'm yours. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

"I know that," I say.

"I love you, Tris," he says, "and _only_ you."

"I love you, too, Tobias," I say.


	2. Chapter 2

The supper Tobias makes for my homecoming is absolutely perfect, and the company is even better. There's nothing quite like a home-cooked meal with the people I love most in this world. I don't even mind the huge mess the kids leave under our large farmhouse table, although I do momentarily wonder if Tessa or Teagan either one got any in their mouths with the amount of food that's in their booster seats. I don't remember Tyler ever being this messy. While I clean up the kitchen, Tobias takes the kids into the living room and plays with them until I finish then we all cuddle together on the couch with popcorn and lemonade to watch the movie Tyler picked out, _Despicable_ _Me_. I have to say it's a big hit with everyone. I just love hearing my children's delighted laughter fill the room. It's definitely the highlight of my day so far.

"Time for bed," Tobias announces as the final credits end.

"Ah, do we have to?" Tyler pouts.

"'Tay up!" Tessa says, her little hands folded under her chin, begging.

"Peas!" Teagan pleads, finishing her sisters thought. This is the time of the night that all three of them want the exact same thing … to _not_ go to bed. It's hard telling them no when they each look up at me with big puppy dog eyes but I'm getting better at it every day.

"Nope," I say. "Come on. Let's go upstairs." I pick up Tessa, and Tobias gets Teagan then we slowly follow Tyler as he trudges up the stairs. "Get ready for bed, buddy. Daddy and I will be in to tuck you in once we get your sisters in bed."

"Okay," he mumbles then turns and mopes down the hallway to his room. I shake my head and roll my eyes at his back.

"Come on, girls," Tobias says.

"I not seepy," Tessa whines, her head resting on my shoulder. She picks up a strand of my hair and plays with it while I carry her into the nursery. Tobias and I have talked about putting her in her own room in a toddler bed but I'm not in any hurry for her to grow up, and as long as she's content in her crib, I'm fine with it. I change her into a fresh training diaper and clean princess pajamas while Tobias rocks Teagan. When I finish, I sit in the vacant rocker, and Tobias gets Teagan ready for bed. After a couple minutes, I recognize the steady rise and fall of Tessa's chest and know that she's asleep. _So much for not being sleepy._ Tobias and I each kiss her head before I put her down for the night.

"I'm going to check on Tyler," I say as I kiss Teagan's head.

"I'll join you in a moment," Tobias says as he manages to get her into her PJs without waking her.

"Okay." I walk down the hallway and into Tyler's room. He's lying in the middle of his bed frowning at the ceiling, but he smiles when he sees me.

"Where's Daddy?" he asks, looking over my shoulder. Tobias has been putting a lot of extra hours in lately getting everything ready for initiation and overseeing the restoration of a neighboring building for aging Dauntless members, and Tyler is noticing his absences more and more.

"He's right behind me," I say as I sit on the edge of his bed. "I'm glad you had a good time with him this morning."

"I did," he says, his tired eyes lighting up. "I like going to the training room with him."

"I like that, too," Tobias says as he walks into the room. "We'll go again soon."

"Promise?" he asks, looking up at his father with hopeful pleading on his face.

"I promise, buddy," he says. "We'll go one night after supper just you and me and let Mommy and your sisters have a girl's night."

"Okay," he says with a sleepy smile and then he yawns widely.

"Sleep tight," I say as I give him a goodnight kiss. "Daddy and I love you."

"To the moon and back?" he asks.

"To the moon and back," Tobias says.

"I love you, too," he says, first giving me and then Tobias a hug.

"Sweet dreams, Tyler," I say as I turn on his campfire nightlight before shutting off his bedside lamp.

"'Night," he says then rolls over facing the wall. Tobias and I walk hand-in-hand back to our bedroom, and he snakes his arms around my waist and kisses my temple.

"Are you sure you still want to go out tonight?" he asks, nuzzling my neck. "You look exhausted. We could take the baby monitor up to the deck and lie under the stars." I turn in his arms and look up at him, torn.

"You're right, I _am_ tired, but I've been looking forward to this night for weeks plus it's too late to call Avery and cancel," I say. "Are we going far?"

"We're not leaving the compound," he says. _Good_. That means I won't have to jump on and off a train. As tired as I am I might trip and fall underneath it.

"Okay," I say. "I'm going to clean up, and I'll meet you downstairs." We give each other a tender kiss then he moves to leave me alone. "I love you, Four." He stops, turns, and smiles a heart-stopping smile.

"I love you, too, Six," he says with a wink. "I'll be waiting."

I pad into the bathroom and strip out of my dirty work clothes then step into our luxurious shower. I turn the multiple invigorating body jets on and let the stress of the past few days circle down the drain. My routine is unrushed as I scrub and buff every inch of my body. After I finish, I quickly apply a thin layer of coconut oil lotion. Feeling a bit naughty, I forgo a bra and panties and feel invigorated as I slip into the new black sundress with a bold abstract pattern and flirty asymmetrical hem that I bought especially for tonight then step into a pair of black 3-inch t-strap heels that will drive Tobias crazy. I shake my head as I think about him and his slightly irrational shoe fetish. I dry my hair and style it in loose curls that cascade over my shoulders then put on minimal makeup. I think about jewelry beyond my wedding rings, but I remember the conversation I had with Christina. She told me fancy shoes and jewelry would only take away from the star, which is the dress. I probably take longer than I should getting ready, but I want tonight to be special. Tobias is standing in the kitchen talking to Avery when I descend the stairs. When he glances my direction, he stops midsentence, and his mouth falls open. Avery turns, confused, then smiles at me.

"Nice dress, Tris," she says.

"Thank you," I say. "And thanks for agreeing to watch the kids for us. We thought about asking Gavin, but we didn't want to have to hurry home." Avery's younger brother has been babysitting for us since he turned 14, and he's a natural with the kids just like she is. It's nice to have another Parrish helping us out.

"It's my pleasure," she says. "I just wish I was available a little sooner so I could have seen them while they were still awake."

"They didn't want to go to bed as it is," I say. "If they would have seen you, they never would've gone down."

"You're right," she says with a chuckle. Tobias looks at his watch, and I notice that he's freshly showered and dressed in a form-fitting, dark gray henley and body-hugging black jeans that fit him perfectly. When I raise my eyes to his, he smirks. He knows that I'm appreciating his perfect form. My tongue darts out of my mouth and wets my suddenly parched lips, and he chokes on a laugh.

"We better go," he says, his voice gravelly with desire. I feel heat rise up into my cheeks, and I wonder if Avery can feel the sudden, thick sexual tension.

"Yeah," I say as I take his hand. "Thanks again, Avery."

"I didn't have anything else to do since Callen is working late this week," she says. "Have a good time."

"Thanks," I say then Tobias says, "Call if you need anything. We're not leaving the compound."

"Okay, bye," she says.

"Bye," Tobias and I say in unison.

"Where are we going?" I ask as he holds the door open for me. I step out into the hallway, and he secures the door behind us and tests it to make sure it's locked.

"It's a surprise, love," he says.

"I meant to ask earlier, where was Bridget when I came home? Did you give her the day off?"

"Just the afternoon," he says. "I worked a few hours this morning after dropping Tyler off. So how was your meeting?"

"You really want to talk about my meeting?" I ask.

"I'm just making conversation," he says, a mischievous spark in his eye.

"What you're doing is driving me crazy," I say. He puts his hand on the small of my back and lowers his mouth to my ear.

"Would I do that?" he seductively asks. I clench every muscle in my lower body, trying to control the ache I have for him and second guess my decision to not wear underwear.

"I know you would," I say.

"You're right," he says with an easy smile. "Business can wait." He pulls me into an unfamiliar hallway and pushes me up against the cold, stone wall. His mouth crashes into mine as he wraps one arm around my waist, pulling me close to his hard body and fists his other hand in my hair, holding me in place so his tongue can repeatedly breach my parted lips. He grinds his hips into mine, and I feel his strong desire.

"Oh, God," I moan when he pulls his mouth from mine. It's been a while since I've felt a kiss so animalistic and primal, and I love it.

"You look spectacular," he pants against my lips. "This dress is really something else and those shoes. _Damn_." I feel the silky material inching up my thigh.

"I'm not wearing any underwear," I whisper. He freezes then a wicked grin unfurls on his face.

"Naughty girl. Planning on getting some tonight, Mrs. Eaton?" he asks.

"You bet your life, Mr. Eaton," I say. "You better take me where we are going before I take you right here in this hallway." He stands before me astounded with his mouth hanging open. This time I smirk and kiss him soundly then capture his bottom lip between my teeth and nibble gently before tugging on it. A growl escapes his throat but is quickly swallowed by my mouth when his aggressive lips once again find mine.

"Get a room," someone mutters disgustedly as they walk by and we both start laughing.

"I guess I got carried away," he breathlessly says, our bodies still pressed up against one another.

" _We_ got carried away," I say, caressing his face. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says. "Come on." He releases me then leads me down the steep path in comfortable silence, my hand in his. When he guides me into the closed cafeteria, I can't hide my surprise. This is _totally_ unexpected.

"What are we doing here?" I ask.

"You'll see," he says. He leads me through the maze of empty tables to the shiny metallic kitchen doors. He swings one open and walks over the threshold, pulling me along behind him. There, in the middle of the sterile industrial kitchen, much out of place, sits a single round table covered with a crisp white tablecloth flanked by two chairs covered in matching material. In the center of the table surrounded by lit black cherry votives dripping black wax on the white linen sits a simple crystal slimline vase with three long-stem roses unlike any I've ever seen before. I step closer, studying them carefully and notice that each petal has shades of both red and a color so dark it appears nearly black but in the dim light I can't be sure. What I do know is that they're gorgeous. He pulls out the chair closest to us and says, "Have a seat, love."

"Thank you, baby," I say as I smooth my skirt down and sit.

"I had those made especially for you," he says when he sees me eyeing the delicate buds in front of me. My eyes fly to his.

"What?" I ask then I reach out and touch one of the dewy petals, thinking they must be artificial but they're not. "How?"

"Gunner put me in contact with a horticultural specialist from Amity," he says. "I explained that I was looking for a flower as rare and beautiful as my wife. After showing me a few specimens that didn't quite live up to my expectations he asked if I wanted to design a one of a kind flower for my one of a kind wife, and this is what we came up with. Its name is The Beatrice." I gasp. "The red symbolizes a passionate love and the black a deep devotion. I named it after you because I passionately love you more than anything, and I'm deeply devoted to you for the rest of my life."

"You made a flower and named it after me?" I say, emotion thick in my voice as tears gather in my eyes. _God, how did he get to be so damn romantic?_ "I … we … you," I stammer, unable to gather my thoughts as he kneels before me.

"I love you," he says as he gently wipes a tear off the apple of my cheek with the rough pad of his calloused thumb. "I wanted to do something special to mark the day you jumped into my life, something you wouldn't expect. Do you like them?" He's still unsure of my reactions even three years later. I nod, still unable to speak then pull his mouth to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him passionately, possessively but also adoringly. He drags his lips from mine, panting heavily and stares into my eyes, my desire reflecting back at me.

"Thank you," I say. "They're beautiful and unusual. They're absolutely perfect, Tobias."

"Just like you," he says. He stands and goes to the oversized refrigerator used to hold the food for the faction and comes back to the table with three scrumptious-looking desserts lining a single rectangular serving dish I've only seen used for holidays and special events.

"What's this?" I ask as he sets it on the table in front of me.

"I had the chef throw a little something sweet together for us this evening," he says.

"He outdid himself," I say. "They look delicious."

"This first one is a chocolate champagne cake with strawberry cheesecake filling and white chocolate champagne buttercream frosting," he says pointing to the individual cake furthest from me. He then points at the center dessert. "This one is a milk chocolate cake with a salted caramel filling covered with a dark chocolate ganache and chocolate shavings." My stomach growls and he smirks. "This last one is a golden cake soaked in espresso with an amaretto mascarpone frosting. Chef called it a tiramisu cake."

"I don't know where to begin," I say staring at the plate. "They all look so good." Tobias drags his chair until it's next to mine then sits down. He picks up the dessert fork and digs into the chocolate decadence in the center. He lifts the fork to my lips. I open my mouth and he places it on my tongue. I wrap my lips around the tines, not taking my eyes off his, and he slowly removes the utensil. An involuntary moan escapes my mouth as I taste the delicacy for the first time and my eyes flutter closed.

"Holy hell," I murmur almost inaudibly. "I've never tasted anything so good in my entire life." I open my eyes and pick up my fork. I sink it into the tiramisu cake and hold it up in front of Tobias. "Open up, baby." It goes on like this, taking turns feeding each other small bites of the delectable desserts until crumbs and frosting smears are the only thing remaining on the plate. I set my fork down and lean back in the chair, deliciously satisfied. "That was wonderful."

"I have to admit, it was even better than I thought it would be," he says. "I think our chefs have been holding out on us."

"I agree. I'm not sure regular old chocolate cake will do from now on," I say with a chuckle. Tobias gets up and holds his hand out to me. "Are you going to take me home now?" I coyly ask as I place my hand in his. He helps me to my feet and pulls me straight into his arms.

"Are you in a hurry to get to bed, Mrs. Eaton?" he asks, an innocent yet sexy expression on his handsome face.

I nod then say, "Yes, but not to sleep, Mr. Eaton. I can't wait to feel you inside me." I pull his smiling lips to mine and slip my tongue into his mouth and stroke it against his, tasting an intoxicating mixture of rich chocolate, salted caramel, strong expresso, fresh strawberries, and almond. Our breathing becomes labored and my heart starts to pound heavily in my chest then he growls as the kiss deepens. I feel his hands all over my back as I move mine up and into his hair. I sigh when he kisses his way down my neck.

"I'm not taking you home yet," he pants against my sensitive ear. A shiver runs down my spine as goosebumps raise on my bare skin. "You honestly can't think this is all I have planned for our anniversary."

"You _made_ me roses, Tobias, and planned this luscious dessert tasting. That is more than enough," I say.

"Oh, there's more," he promises as his forehead touches mine.

"You spoil me, baby," I say. His smiling face turns serious.

"I don't ever want you to doubt how much I love you, Beatrice Grace Eaton," he says. I love how his tongue seductively strokes my name, but his words concern me. "I know I've been extremely busy lately and you're probably feeling a bit neglected, but I've made certain that tonight will be perfect for us."

"Do you really think I've ever doubted how you feel about me? I may not always understand but I've never doubted," I say. "Joining Dauntless was the best decision I ever made because it lead me to the love of my life; it led me to you." I caress his cheeks and give him a soft kiss. "We may have our ups and downs, but I will always love you, Tobias Eaton. Nothing will ever change that."

"It's nice to hear once in a while," he says. I stare up into his darkening eyes and he's right. For as much as we love each other, and we do, sometimes life just gets in the way, and we don't take time for us.

"I love you," I say.

"I love you, too," he says. "Come on." He grasps my hand in his and leads me out into the dimly lit cafeteria then onto the mostly empty Pit floor. I'm getting used to the deserted feeling the night before the Choosing Ceremony. Most everyone is at home preparing for the big day. I'm still trying to figure out where we're going when he leads me to a familiar hallway.

"Seriously?" I ask. He nods as he stops in front of the locked door.

"We've neglected our lists for far too long, don't you think, love?" he asks, looking at me over his shoulder as he takes a single key out of his pocket. He unlocks the door then steps aside and ushers me into the transfer's dormitory with just a touch to the small of my back. I slowly walk to the center of the room and circle my old bunk, which has been fitted with what looks to be black satin sheets, never taking my eyes off the sexiest man in the city, and the usual forbidden feeling of having him in this room surfaces. I can't help but see my instructor instead of my husband.

"Why are we here?" I ask, my voice tremulous. He gives me a sexy smile I feel between my thighs then I watch as he transforms into Four right before my eyes and a shiver of anticipation moves up my spine. I suddenly know his game. He once told me that Four would rock my world and tonight must be the night. He pushes himself off the wall where he's casually leaning and stands in front of me, looking very much like he did the day we met, cold and off putting.

"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions," he flatly says, although I see a mischievous sparkle in his eye. I know him entirely too well for him to completely change in front of me. "Now I have a _Stiff_ , too? Watch yourself." I think that's almost word-for-word what he said to me in the cafeteria that first day after the thought of being careful around him evaporated.

"Yes, Four," I say, leaving my eyes on his even though I want to tear them away … badly. He runs his hand along the dual straps of my dress, leaving a trail of heat below his fingertips then he drops his eyes to my body.

"This isn't regulation gear, initiate," he says. "I think it needs to come off." I know I'm expected to take off my dress and when he makes no move to help me, I reach behind me, grab the zipper, and slowly lower it. I return my arms to their original position then reach up and slide the straps off my shoulders, causing the garment to sail to the ground and pool at my feet then I kick it to the side. His sharp intake of air tells me that the sight of my totally naked body, except for the stiletto heels surprises him. He very slowly circles me like a hungry, feral animal stalking its vulnerable prey, his eyes studying every inch of my bare form. I only realize that he stops when I feel his labored breath on the back of my shoulder. "Do you often go without underwear?" When I hesitate, he puts his lips against my ear and says, "Answer me."

"Only on special occasions," I say a little breathily.

"I think this may be cause for punishment," he says. _Punishment?_ I feel his hands land lightly on my hips then splay out on my flat tummy. My breathing hitches when one hand moves up to cover my breast and the other lowers to my womanhood. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as he searches through my moist folds and finds my throbbing nubbin. He circles it with a featherlike touch as he shapes and reshapes the breast he's holding. I stifle a moan when he quickly sweeps my golden tresses over one shoulder and kisses the base of my skull up the back of my neck to my ear, tracing it with his tongue. My breath becomes shallow and unsteady and my body feels like it's overheating. I moan loudly as he sinks a single finger into my pulsating core. He slowly moves it back and forth for a time before adding a second digit. He presses the heel of his hand against my nubbin, and I call out from the sensation.

" _Oh_ , _God!_ " I toss my head back and rest it against his shoulder. " _Please_!" I plead as my hips sway in time with his probing fingers.

"Did I give you permission to speak, initiate?" he mutters against my ear as he picks up the speed. I sink my teeth into my full bottom lip to keep from calling out again, loving his game. I repeatedly buck against his hand as he delves deeper and deeper and he increases the pace even further, bringing me right to the edge again and again. A fine sheen of sweat covers my body as my legs began to quiver, and I pant loudly as he thrusts forcefully inside me, building my orgasm once again. I hold my breath and whimper in completion as he finally allows my body to find its relief. I clench and spasm around his still probing digits until he slows and finally stops.

He removes his fingers from between my thighs then turns me in his arms. His hungry lips crash into mine with an aggressive kiss and his impatient tongue eagerly invades my mouth. I feel him pushing me backwards until I'm pinned, motionless, helpless, between his large, firm, aroused body and the cold, unforgiving stone wall. He traps my hands in his at our sides, and then he manages to part my legs with his. He grinds his jean-clad, rigid flesh into me, and the rough friction against my extremely sensitive nubbin causes my body to frantically race toward a second release. He increases the pleasurable rhythm, and I rock against him just as fiercely.

"Look at me," he huskily pants, trying to catch his breath after he releases my mouth. I open my eyes, breathing heavily and look up at him. The unfamiliar yet erotic look on his face combined with the near torturous contact causes a wild eruption of pleasure to rocket from my throbbing bundle of nerves straight out in every direction.

"Oh, God! Oh! _Oh!_ _OH!_ _GGOODD!_ " A scream of pure pleasure blasts forth from my lips, but he doesn't stop the tormenting grinding. " _Shit shit shit shit SHIT!_ " I squeal, never taking my eyes from his as my body twitches and shudders. I honestly don't know how he's keeping from coming right now. His control is stellar tonight. I moan and whimper as my orgasm begins to recede, and he abruptly stops what he's doing, releases me, and steps away." We stare at one another as our heart rates return to normal. My eyes flicker to the hard bulge in his pants from his face, and I blush bright red from head to toe. There's a large wet spot covering his erection. Noticing my stare and new color, he looks down.

"What am I going to do with you?" he asks, his Four mask firmly in place. "You came on my pants. How am I supposed to continue wearing these? You better take them off." I try to move but my body is exhausted from the exertion. "Did you hear me, initiate? Now!" I scramble to his side and with trembling fingers begin to undress him. I grasp the hem of his fitted henley and lift it up and over his head then drop it to the floor. The sight of his perfect bare chest makes me itch to touch it so I reach out, but he catches my arm lightly around my wrist. "What am I going to do with you? You don't follow instructions very well. I'm not sure you're going to make it through initiation. I told you to take my _pants_ off, and I'm still wearing them. Then you assume you can touch me. What makes you think I would allow that? Now … _my_ _pants_." He releases my wrist, and I move my trembling fingertips to the button of his jeans. Knowing that most people shirk away from Four's powerful gaze, which is boring into me right now, I keep my eyes on his. I slide the button from its home and his steely control falls away for a split second as I lower the zipper over his impressive bulge. As he gathers himself, my tongue darts out of my mouth and wets my parched lips. I sink to my knees before him and take off his combat boots and socks then tug his jeans and boxer briefs down over his hips, freeing his arousal from the confines of its tight prison, leaving him gloriously naked before me.

"I think I like you on your knees. Open up." My jaw falls open as he wraps one hand around the back of my head and the other around the base of his full, throbbing erection then he guides it into my waiting mouth. I've never done this without using my hands, but something tells me _Four_ wants them planted firmly at my side so that's where they stay. I use my tongue and lips as he delves deeper with each rhythmic thrust of his hips. He tries to control each movement but soon he's frantically moving in and out of my mouth. I sense he's going to come at any second, so I suck harder with each stroke, and it doesn't take long before he stills at the back of my mouth and empties himself down my throat. When he finishes, he pulls himself from my mouth. He tenderly runs his knuckles down the side of my face in a very caring gesture that contradicts the hard mask he's wearing.

"You are _very_ good at that. We might have to do that again later but right now I need to be inside you. Get on your tummy on your bunk." I expect him to help me to my feet but instead he turns and walks away so I manage on my own. When I reach my old bunk, I pull the pillow off and lay down as he instructs. I realize that I'm nervous about what he has planned, and he must sense this. He sits down on the edge of my mattress and gently runs his hand from my shoulder down my back then over my behind. Soon I feel his fingers dancing over my aching bundle of nerves, and I feel his breath on the side of my face. As I begin to squirm, I look up at him. "I think you're ready now." He adjusts his body but doesn't remove his fingers. He spreads my legs wide then I feel his body push me down into the mattress. He finally moves his fingers and places himself at my heated entrance and drives his hardness into my softness in one aggressive, powerful thrust, and I cry out when we are one. He very slowly, teasingly rotates his hips first to the right and then to the left, and I moan loudly. He kisses the back of my neck as his hands cover mine and lace our fingers together. He circles his hips one final time then begins a punishing rhythm.

" _Uh! … Uh! … Oh! … God! … Uh! … Uh! … So … good! … Uh! … Uh!_ " I close my eyes and surrender to the rhythm, to his will, to this game, to this spectacular feeling. I push back against each one of his demanding thrusts, and it isn't long before I feel the stirrings of yet another amazing release. I let him lead me up and up, closer and closer to nirvana. He knows my body and exactly what to do to get it to respond. He's hammering in and out of me at a frenzied pace when pleasure so overwhelming ripples through my body, causing tears to flood my eyes. He grunts lowly in my ear as he finds his own release then collapses on top of me. He tenderly kisses the back of my neck while we let our breathing return to normal then he gently pulls out of me, leverages himself up on his arms so I can roll over, then lies down between my outstretched legs, resting his head on my bare chest. I glide my fingertips up and down his back, tracing his tattoo while we rest.

When he lifts his head from my breasts, I look down at him. I wasn't sure who to expect but I'm thankful to see my caring husband's bright, loving eyes staring back at me. As fun as our little game was … and it was, Four is _excellent_ in bed … I missed the emotional connection we always have when we make love. As great as it was, it felt like it was just sex; and Tobias and I have never merely _just_ had sex. We've always made love no matter how rough or what kind of naughty games we were playing.

"You're awfully quiet, love," he tentatively says. "Are you all right? Did I go too far? I thought you would like it. Talk to me, _please_."

"Hey," I say as I reach out and touch his face, "why all the worry? I'm more than all right. I loved every single minute of tonight."

"Why the tears then?" he asks as he wipes the remaining moisture off my cheek.

"I really don't know," I say. "That was one of the most overwhelming orgasms I've ever had. It brought tears to my eyes. That's all." He grins his cocky grin then his face turns somber.

"But you got so quiet."

"I was just thinking about my initiation," I say. "I have to say this is hands down the best time I've ever had in this room."

"I aim to please, Mrs. Eaton," he says.

"You certainly do, Mr. Eaton, or should I say _Four_."

"No, not Four anymore," he softly says. "I hope I wasn't too rough."

"Just rough enough, baby," I say, "but it was odd never seeing any emotion on your face. I didn't really like that part."

"Why do you think you had your back to me most of the time?" he says. "It was too hard to maintain the facade when I was that close to you. I love you and it was difficult not to show you that when I was making love to you." I totally understand what he's saying.

"Four may have rocked my world tonight but you rock my world every single day, Tobias Eaton," I say. He climbs up my body and stares down at me. "Perhaps my loving husband would like to rock my world right now."

"I thought you'd never ask," he says as his lips land on mine.


	3. Chapter 3

I drag my heavy eyelids open and yawn widely as I roll toward Tobias. A warm, affectionate smile turns up my lips as I take in the sight of my sleeping husband who has his muscled arms wrapped tightly around his pillow, his mouth hanging slightly open. What I wouldn't give to have them wrapped around me like that right now. I raise up and look at the clock over his shoulder and am surprised by the time. There's nearly an hour left before the alarm is set to go off. I should try to get some more sleep since we got home rather late last night, or should I say early this morning, but I'm unusually refreshed.

Instead, I stare at Tobias as I reminisce about every single second of last night. We had an eventful evening with the one of a kind specialty hybrid roses, delectable desserts, and then Four making a memorable appearance in the dorm room. I feel like I was with two different men last night with Four being rough, demanding, and dominant and Tobias being gentle, loving, and giving. After we made love one last time, we lay naked in each other's arms on the narrow bunk, talking for over an hour about everything under the sun and nothing at all before we finally dragged ourselves out of bed, got dressed, and headed home. One of the things we realized as we were lying there was it had been ages since we had taken our lovemaking out of the bedroom, and we vowed right then and there to make sure we do a better job of making _us_ and our lists a priority. A happy Mommy and Daddy make for happy kids and a happy home.

Tobias moans and furrows his brows then smiles, and I can't help but wonder if he's dreaming of me like I dreamt of him in the night. I reach out and stroke his stubbled chin then move his hair off his forehead. He grins momentarily before his face smooths out once again then he rolls over onto his back. I slide up next to him and rest my head on his chest and gently throw my leg over his. I place my hand on his hard abs and snuggle closer to his hard body. After a couple minutes, his arm wraps around me, and I feel his lips in my hair.

"Good morning, love," he groggily says, not quite awake. I tip my head back and give him a warm smile.

"Good morning," I say. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"As a matter of fact, you did but that's okay," he says, a slow sexy smile on his face.

"I'm sorry," I say. "Did you sleep well?"

"Like a baby," he says, "once my wife let me get to sleep, that is." He lowers his smiling lips to mine and gives me a sweet kiss.

"I had a wonderful time last night," I say. "Thank you for making our anniversary so memorable."

"I'm glad you had a good time," he says. "I'm sorry work has had me so busy lately. I know I haven't been around as much as I should be, and we haven't had enough time for just the two of us."

"We talked about that last night. You don't have to apologize for doing your job, Tobias. We both know how important you are to Dauntless," I say. "Plus, I know that you'd rather be with me and the kids, and once things slow down and your schedule opens up, you will be."

"How did I get lucky enough to have such an understanding wife?" he asks.

"You married well," I say with a chuckle.

"Yes. Yes, I did," he says as he rolls over on top of me and settles between my parted thighs. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I sigh as he lowers his mouth to my neck and grinds his thick shaft against me. His kisses send shivers up my spine, and I grasp his back and pull him closer to me. "We really don't have time for this. The kids will be up any minute." He raises up on his forearm and stares down at me.

"It's our anniversary, love," he says. "I think we can make time. Let me make love to you, Mrs. Eaton." One moment I'm contemplating his simple request, and the next, our pajamas are strewn across the mattress and floor and he's thrusting inside me at a measured, insistent pace, moving us toward a shared, passionate peak. As his body repeatedly plunges deeply into mine, our haggard breath mingles between us then his mouth captures mine with a hungry urgency. Losing his perfect control, his movements become more hectic with each irregular drive, and as he stiffens and then explodes inside my body, I find my own satisfying release, spasming and shuddering around his impressive thickness. When he's spent, he collapses on top of me, and I welcome his weight by wrapping my arms around him tightly and kissing his shoulder. "Thank you, Beatrice."

"Did you just thank me for making love to you?" I chuckle.

"As a matter of fact, I did," he says, leveraging himself up on one arm. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I think I'm going to give you hell like you always give me," I say.

"Before you give me hell, I want you to know that I think I finally know how you feel when you say thank you. I'll try not to tease ever again."

"I'd appreciate that," I say. He gently pulls out of me, leaving a subtle ache in his absence that will remind me where he's been all day then rolls off of me. I snuggle up close to him after a passionate kiss.

"When's the last time we played hooky?" he asks, playing with a strand of my hair. _Hooky?_ He's never talked like this before. I wonder what's gotten into him.

"Never," I giggle. "And, unfortunately, today is too important of a day for either of us to miss but maybe tomorrow we can call in sick and stay in bed all day. Would you like that?" He pulls my mouth to his, and we get carried away.

"I would love that," he says.

"I just remembered something," I say. "I need to get up, baby. I have something for you." He releases me after another scorching kiss, and I slide out of bed and pad to the dresser. I bend down and rifle through the bottom drawer, which at the moment is storing a mixture of our unused winter clothing. I turn and playfully scowl at him when he gives me a cat call. " _Behave_."

"It's hard to concentrate with that view," he says, sexily leering at me.

"You're terrible!" I say as I climb up onto the bed and sit Indian style beside him.

"You weren't saying that a few minutes ago," he smirks. I roll my eyes and shake my head as I set a small mahogany gift box on the mattress between us, and he sits up.

"What's this?"

"You didn't think I would forget to give you something for our anniversary, did you?" I ask.

"You just gave me the best present there is … _you_ and this sexy little body," he says with a wink and I blush. Three years later and I still blush like a schoolgirl when we talk about sex. "I don't think you can top that."

"Well if you don't want it, I can always take it back," I pretend to pout as I pick the box up. I go to get up, but he practically tackles me onto the mattress.

"Not so fast, love," he says. "I want to see what's in the box." We both sit up again, and I hold the box out to him, which is cradled in the palm of my hand. He picks the mahogany square up and flips the hinged lid to reveal a personalized black leather and stainless steel keychain that reads . . Understanding blossoms on his face after a split second of bewilderment. "The day we met," he says as he runs his thumb over the engraved numerals.

"Yeah. I wanted them to put the year also but there wasn't enough space left," I say. "Do you like it?"

"No," he says and I know disappointment shows on my face. He leans closer and kisses my pouty lips then says, "I love it."

"I love you," I say. "Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary. I love you, too," he says. "I thank God every single day that we found each other. I hate to think of what my life would have become without you and our kids."

"Don't torture yourself," I say. He sets the box down and wraps his hand around the back of my head and flashes of the same movement in the dorm last night run through my memory but this time he draws my mouth to his.

"Mama," Tessa singsongs through the baby monitor interrupting our kiss. " _Mama!_ "

"I told you the kids would be up soon," I giggle against his warm lips.

"You were right," he sighs as he pulls away.

"Of course, I was," I say. "I'm always right. You should know that by now after nearly three years together." He rolls his amused eyes toward the ceiling as Tessa calls out for me again. "I better check on our girls."

"I'll start breakfast," he says. "How does blueberry pancakes and sausage sound?"

"It sounds wonderful," I say as we slide out of bed. I slip my robe on as he pulls on a pair of sleep pants. I give him a quick kiss then head into the nursery as he's putting our remaining clothes in the hamper.

"Mama!" Tessa excitedly says when she sees me walk into the room.

"Good morning, little one," I say. She's standing at the side of her crib with a wide smile on her face, hopping up and down. "Mommy's here."

"I want up," she says, holding her arms out to me.

"Did you have a good night?" I ask as I lift her into my waiting arms and pepper her face with kisses. Her bright, shining eyes give me her answer.

"Mm-hm," she murmurs as I lie her on the changing table. I take off her pajamas and put them in the hamper then remove her wet diaper.

"Do you have to go potty?" I ask.

"No," she says, shaking her head vehemently. Potty training her has not been easy like it was with her brother.

"Okay", I say, "but will you at least try to go potty for Mommy?" She sighs like I'm asking her to cure cancer then finally nods in agreement. I let her down, and she sprints into the bathroom.

In the once empty corner near the large garden tub sits a little wooden potty chair Tobias painted light gray to match its surroundings. I wanted the plain one but my girls begged for the one with the little heart cutout on the back because it was " _so_ _cute!_ " I guess I'm a sucker because our potty chair has a heart cutout. She sits down and immediately goes to the bathroom, which pleases me immensely. I clap for her, letting her know that she did a great job, and she joins in the celebration then I clean her up with a baby wipe. "Let's see if Teags is awake then you two can take a bath."

"No baff," she says, vehemently shaking her little head. For as similar to Tyler as she is, they are on opposite ends of this issue. Tyler can play in the tub for hours if I let him. Tessa, on the other hand, would be quite content to live in her own filth.

"Yeah, you have to take a bath," I say and she sticks her bottom lip out, pouting. "You can pick out your own outfit." If someone would have told me three years ago that today I would be bribing a 2-year-old to take a bath, I would have called them crazy.

"Teags, too?" she whines. _Ugh!_ She'll have her little sister in mixed-matched patterns and a sparkly neon headband knowing her, but I'll take it.

"Okay," I say.

"Otay!" she gleefully repeats then turns and runs out of the bathroom. I go to follow after her when I hear her squeal.

"Where are your clothes, young lady?" Tobias asks as he scoops her up in his arms.

"Went potty," she announces.

"You did? I'm so proud of you," he says, kissing her cheek and she beams before throwing her arms around his neck. "But why are you naked?" She shrugs her shoulders.

"Because she needs a bath," I say.

"I no wanna baff, Dadda," she pouts.

"We had this talk, Tessa Beatrice Eaton," I say. "You agreed."

"Otay," she sighs.

"I'll start their bath," Tobias says. "You get Teags then I'll make breakfast when everyone is up and dressed."

"Okay," I say. I kiss each of them before he carries Tessa back into the bathroom, and I quietly head into the nursery. My baby girl is lying in the middle of her crib with her arm wrapped around her favorite stuffed animal, a fuzzy pink teddy bear with a black and white gingham check bow around its neck. Tobias and I gave it to her for her first birthday, and she can't sleep without it. We learned this the hard way when we didn't take it to my parent's one weekend. She was so restless the first night that Dad made a trip to Dauntless to get it for her early the next morning.

"Hi, baby girl," I say and she smiles up at me.

"Hi, Mama," she says. She scrambles to her feet, keeping a death grip on her bear, and I lift her into my arms.

"Did you have a good night?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says. She looks over my shoulder at her sister's empty crib. "Tess?"

"She's in the bathroom with Daddy," I say.

"Dadda!" she says with a loving smile.

"Do you need to go potty, Teags?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says. _Progress!_ We hadn't even planned on trying to potty train her yet because of her age but she's always eager to emulate whatever Tessa does and using the potty is no different. After talking her into leaving the bear behind, I take her directly into the bathroom. I take her pajamas and diaper off then sit her on the potty. Sometimes she goes, sometimes she just sits and grins. This morning she goes potty and gets the same celebratory clapping Tessa earned, which makes her grin from ear-to-ear and giggle almost uncontrollably.

"Why don't you go check on Tyler, and I'll give the girls their bath," Tobias says.

"Okay," I say. "Be good for your Daddy, girls."

"Otay!" Tessa says as Teags says, "'Kay!" I kiss each of their heads and give Tobias a soft peck then head down the hallway and into Tyler's room. When I open his partially closed door, a beam of light creeps up the side of his bed, across his mattress, and shines on the back of his head. I glance at the clock and am surprised that he's not awake yet. He's usually the first one up. I ease myself down on the edge of his mattress and put my hand on his back.

"Tyler, buddy, it's time to get up," I say. He groans but doesn't move. "Tyler? Hey." He rolls over, and I'm alarmed by how pale he is. He finally drags his eyes open but the usual spark is absent. "Are you all right?" I put my hand on his forehead and find it to be warm and clammy.

"I don't feel well, Mommy," he moans.

"Do you feel sick to your stomach?" I ask.

"My tummy _hurts_."

"I'll get you some ginger ale," I say. "Would you like some toast or crackers?"

"Crackers," he says.

"I'm sorry you don't feel well, buddy," I say. I lower my lips to his forehead and finding him to be feverish, which worries me instantly. "Do you want to stay in bed or would you rather rest on the couch?"

"I want to go with you," he whines.

"Okay," I say. "Let's get you downstairs but why don't you go potty first." I help him out of bed, and the minute we walk into his bathroom a dreadful odor swirls up and assaults my nose. "Buddy, did you get sick in the night?"

"Mm-hm," he groans. "Twice." That explains the smell.

"Tyler, why didn't you come get Mommy or Daddy when you got sick?" I ask as I pick him up and carry him into the bathroom next door.

"You wasn't here," he pouts. "I looked."

"Did you go downstairs?" I ask.

"No, I didn't feel good so I went back to bed," he says. _My poor boy._

"Mommy and Daddy went out last night," I say as I carry him down the stairs towards the living room. I carefully lay him on the couch and cover him with the fuzzy gray throw. "Avery was downstairs. You should have told her you were sick. She would have called us, and we would have come straight home."

"It's okay, Mommy."

"No, it's not, buddy," I say, shaking my head. "I don't ever want you to feel scared or alone. Mommy should have been here for you. I'll be right back. I'm going to get you something to help your tummy." I kiss each cheek then head into the kitchen to get him some saltines and ginger ale. I also get the bottle of children's acetaminophen from the pantry then go back to my sick son. "Here you go." I hand him the sippy cup of stomach-soothing liquid and a small bowl with crackers after I measure out the correct dosage of medicine for his height and weight and give it to him. He wrinkles his nose then takes a drink.

"There you are," Tobias says as he comes into the room with both Tessa and Teagan in his arms. I have to muffle a laugh with a cough when I take in what they're wearing. I swear I buy matching outfits but you wouldn't know it from the looks of them. Tessa has on a bright yellow tank top with a kitten wearing sunglasses on the front that says One Cool Cat, red legging with Christmas wreaths all over them, and snow boots with pink leopard print fur lining; those are going to be hot today. And my poor baby has on a lime green t-shirt, pink and purple polka dot capris, a rainbow tulle skirt, a black headband with black furry cat ears, and sparkly silver ballet slippers. They look like factionless ragamuffins. At least they're not leaving the house today. Tobias' face twists with concern when he sees Tyler lying on the couch. "What's going on here?"

"Tyler's not feel well," I say as he sits the girls on their feet behind the toy box.

" _Aah!_ " they say in unison.

"Ty-Ty sick?" Teagan asks.

"Yeah, your brother is sick," I say.

"Sowwy, Ty-Ty," Tessa say.

"Thanks, Tess," he says and when his littlest sister frowns at him he adds, "Thanks, Teags."

"Girls, why don't you play in the sunroom?" Tobias says. He swings each girl effortlessly up into his arms like they weigh nothing at all, making them giggle then marches off. When I turn my attention back to Tyler, his eyes are closed so I gently pull his sippy cup from his firm grip and set it and the crackers on the side table.

"My poor boy," I sigh. "I don't want to leave him today."

"How did you know I was back?" Tobias asks as he sits on the toy box in front of me. When I look up, I see worry in his eyes, too.

"I don't know," I say. "I just knew." He reaches out and takes my hands in his, squeezing them tightly.

"What's wrong, love?"

"We were out celebrating last night and our son was here sick and wondering where we were," I say. He looks at me quizzically, and I tell him everything Tyler has told me since waking. He runs his hand through his hair, frustrated.

"How could we have known? He didn't tell Avery," he says. "I'll go clean up his bathroom then get the girls some cereal. We'll have pancakes and sausage when he's feeling better. I don't want him to feel left out." I watch over Tyler as he rests, contemplating my schedule. I'm supposed to file last week's incident reports, which I normally do on Mondays, but that can wait. I was also planning on accompanying Tobias on his pre-Choosing Ceremony rounds but he can do that alone. What I can't get out of is greeting the jumpers at the net and welcoming them to Dauntless in the cafeteria at supper.

"Mama?" Tessa says, pulling me from my reverie. I didn't realize she came back into the living room.

"What is it?"

"Is Ty-Ty otay?" she asks, concern etched on her face.

"He has a tummy ache," I say as I get up off the couch. "I think it's best to stay away from him today. I don't want your tummy hurting, too." I lift her into my arms and carry her back through the kitchen and into the sunroom. If I can keep her and Teagan away from Tyler as much as possible maybe they, too, won't get sick. I can only hope that's the case but I've learned that if one comes down with something then the other two aren't far behind.

"I hungwy," she says.

"Breakfast will be in a few minutes," I say. "Why don't you play, okay?"

"Otay, Mama." I kiss her head then sit her down next to Teagan who is absorbed in her puppy dog puzzle. She picks up two of Tyler's dinosaurs and begins quietly playing. It's probably a good thing that he's asleep in the living room because if he saw her playing with his toys, he'd probably throw a fit. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Tobias come down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Do you think you can do without me until we have to be at the net?" I ask as I get four bowls out of the cupboard. "I want to stay with Tyler this morning."

"I'm sure we can manage," he says. "Are you still feeling guilty about not being home last night?" He pours varying amounts of marshmallows and stars cereal into each of the bowls then adds the milk.

"I'm trying not to but it's hard, Tobias," I say. "He looked for us and couldn't find us. That should never happen."

"I know it shouldn't," he says as he pulls me into his arms, "but we can't be with the kids 24/7. It's impossible."

"I know," I sigh. "I just hate it when he's sick … when any of them is sick for that matter. I'm going to check on him then I'll join you for breakfast." He kisses my forehead before releasing me then I head into the living room. My boy is right where I left him, sound asleep on the couch. He doesn't even look like he's moved. I take his temperature with the thermometer Tobias brought downstairs and see that he has a slight fever of 99.2 degrees. I pull the throw up around his chin and kiss his forehead then join the rest of my family for breakfast.

"Sit wit me, Mama," Tessa says when I walk into the kitchen. She has a spoon in each hand and milk on her chin.

"My spoon," Teagan pouts as I take my seat.

" _No_ ," Tessa emphatically says.

"Tessa," I firmly say and she frowns but she gives her little sister back her spoon.

"Is breakfast good?" I ask.

"Mm-hm," Teagan says as she slurps cereal into her mouth.

"I full," Tessa says. I look in her bowl and find it nearly empty.

"You did a good job," I say.

"I want down," she says.

"I want down," Teagan whines.

"No, Teags, you need to eat," I say. "You've only had two bites."

"I full," she says.

"No, you not," Tessa says.

"Am too," she shoots back.

"Girls," Tobias sternly says, interrupting their bickering. They quiet immediatrely and look at him. "You can both stay at the table. Teagan, you need to eat your cereal, and Tessa, why don't you tell us why you picked out those lovely outfits." Teagan begrudgingly starts eating as Tessa babbles incoherently. I nod and grin at her while she regales us with her tale. I probably promise her every toy in the toy store because I only understand every fifth word or so.

"Mommy?" Tyler calls out.

"I'll get him," Tobias says as he starts to get up but I place my hand on his arm and shake my head.

"I'll get him," I say as I push my empty bowl away from me. I get up from the table and sit next to Tyler on the couch. "Are you feeling any better?"

"My tummy hurts but it doesn't feel sick anymore," he says.

"Do you want me to make you some toast?" I ask as I feel his head, which is hot to the touch. "You didn't eat your crackers."

"I not hungry."

"If you eat a little something you might feel better," I say. "A slice of toast or crackers?"

"Toast," he says. I go back into the kitchen and Tobias is putting the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher.

"Is he feeling better?" he asks.

"If I understood correctly, his stomach hurts but he's not queasy anymore, which is good," I say. "I convinced him to eat a piece of toast." I get a slice of buttered split top wheat bread we got at the farmers market on Sunday and pop it in the toaster. "Hopefully, it will help." He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me.

"He'll be all right."

"Why do I worry so much when they're sick?" I ask, staring into nothingness. "It's eating me up inside right now that he doesn't feel well."

"You're a wonderful mother, that's why," he says, his mouth against my ear. "I'll get his toast. Why don't you take your shower first and then I'll take one? I have to be leaving soon."

"Okay," I say. Instead of going upstairs after he releases me, I go into the living room and tell Tyler that his daddy will bring him his toast then I head toward my bathroom. I take a quick shower then dress in normal summer Dauntless attire: a body-hugging black and dark gray spaghetti strap tank top that shows off my sculpted arms and shoulders, form-fitting black boot cut jeans that make me look like I have curves, and a pair of comfortable black ankle boots. I pull my hair up into a high ponytail then put on mascara, eyeliner, and tinted lip balm. I go into my bedroom and stand in front of the full-length mirror.

I see the time reflecting at me from the nightstand and realize I was standing in front of the mirror three years ago at this exact time as my mother cut my hair. I could barely look at myself then, the thought selfish, and here I stand admiring the body I worked hard to get. It took me months and a lot of sweat-drenched hours at the punching bags in the training room after Peanut was born to get it, and I'm very proud of it. It doesn't hurt that Tobias made me feel sexy and beautiful every step of the way. I couldn't be more different from that girl if I tried.

"You look great," Tobias says as he rests his hands on my hips and kisses my bare shoulder.

"Thank you," I say. "How is he?"

"Unfortunately, the toast came right back up," he says. "He's sleeping comfortably now."

"Thank God," I sigh. "I better get downstairs before the girls redecorate the living room with toilet paper again." We've learned that Tessa plus Teagan plus silence usually equals a huge mess. They don't sit and play quietly like Tyler. They like getting into everything. I give him a quick kiss then go downstairs. I hear giggling coming from behind the island, and I find the girls sitting on the floor surrounded by hundreds of miniature marshmallows. I clear my voice, and they go silent and look up at me with wide, innocent eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Playin'," Tessa says.

"Mm-hm," Teagan nods, agreeing with her sister.

"It looks like you're making another mess."

"No," Teagan says as she picks up a marshmallow and puts it in her mouth.

"Pick up the marshmallows and put them in the trash," I say, "then I think you both need a timeout."

" _No_ ," they whine together.

"I sowwy," Tessa says.

"Me, too," Teagan adds.

"I think you're only sorry you got caught. Come on. Clean up your mess." They slowly pick up each marshmallow and throw them in the garbage can I'm holding out in front of me, huge frowns on their faces. When they finish I take their hands and lead them to the table. I sit them at opposite ends and turn the chairs so they can't talk to each other, and they instantly start crying, crushing my heart but I don't let it show. "You two need to stop getting into things. That's not being very good girls, is it? You sit here and think about what you did." I sigh and check on Tyler who is still sleeping soundly even through the crying in the kitchen.

" _Dadda_!" I hear Teagan wail.

"What did you two do this time?" he asks with a sigh. They both start talking but I can't make anything out because of the crying. I get up off the couch and join Tobias. He looks at me and says, "Marshmallows?"

"Yep. They were eating them off the floor," I say. He gives me a knowing look, and I nod. "Girls, come here." They get off their chairs and stand before us. We sit on the stairs so we are more on their level.

"Do you know why you were punished?" Tobias asks. Teagan shakes her head, and Tessa stares at the floor. "Tessa?"

"We made mess," she pouts.

"That's right," I say. "It's not nice to make a mess on purpose. We've told you this before but you keep doing it. Why?"

"We jus' payin'," Teagan says.

"Are you supposed to be playing in the kitchen?" Tobias asks. They both shake their heads. "Then why were you?"

"I don't know," Tessa says as Teagan shrugs. I don't know how two perfect angels on their own turn into little devils when they're together.

"Are you sorry?" I ask.

"I sowwy, Mama," Tessa says as Teagan says, "Sowwy."

"Okay," I say holding my arms out and they rush into them. I hug them both tightly and kiss each of their heads then they hug their father. "Go play in the sunroom and be good."

"Yes, Mama," they say then run into the sunroom. I put my head in my hands and rub my face.

"We can't leave them alone for two minutes," he says.

"Do you ever get the idea that Teagan just follows Tessa's lead?" I ask as we watch them play with Tyler's dinosaurs.

"Yeah," he says. "What I don't get is how they can play alone so well but get them together and it's like a bomb goes off." I can't help but chuckle.

"I was just thinking the exact same thing," I say. "They'll grow out of it, right?"

"I sure as hell hope so," he says, looking at his watch. "I'm sorry but I've got to go, love."

"I know and it's okay," I say. "I'll leave for the net when Will texts me."

"Call if you need anything," he says. He gives me a tender kiss then says, "I love you, Tris."

"I love you, too, Tobias," I say. "I'll see you later."


	4. Chapter 4

I hurry down the steep, narrow, winding path toward the Pit, practically sprinting so I will make it on time for the first jumper to hit the net. I figured I had plenty of time when I received Will's message saying the new class of initiates were just getting ready to leave the Hub so I told Bridget I would put the girls down for their nap while she kept an eye on Tyler but they each wanted rocked and then a story, so 5 minutes turned into 10 and then 10 turned into an hour. After they were both sound asleep, I made sure Tyler was comfortable. He woke from his nap feeling a little better and even ate some chicken noodle soup, which he managed to keep down but he looked terrible, and I'm really worried about him. I gave Bridget strict instructions to call if there were any changes in his condition. I hated leaving him, and if it were any other day, I wouldn't have.

When I reach the seldom used, dimly lit, damp, musty hallway that leads to the net, my journey comes to a screeching halt when I get behind a large group of slow-moving, boisterous Dauntless members making their way to the celebration, half empty brown bottles in their hands. I try to squeeze my way them but they don't budge so I end up walking with them, making small talk the entire way. When we reach the cavernous space, I'm finally able to break away after saying my goodbyes. As I make my way through the thick crowd gathered for the jump, I notice that the platform looks like it's in a spotlight. I smile as I take in the sight of my handsome husband and good friends until I see a familiar brunette who is sorely out of place. I take a deep breath, trying to mask my displeasure then head up the stairs.

"Hey, Tris! You made it just in time. They're jumping onto the roof as we speak," Christina says as she grabs me in a big bear hug. "How's Tyler doing? Four said he's sick."

"My poor little guy. I absolutely hated leaving him but he's doing a little bit better now," I say as I maneuver myself between Tobias and Freya, hoping I'm not being too obvious about it but Christina's smirk tells me she knows exactly what I'm doing. "He ate some soup and, thankfully, kept it down. He wasn't so lucky at breakfast."

"That's good," Tobias says. "He didn't look very good when I left."

"He still doesn't," I say, worry evident in my voice. He drapes his arm around my shoulder, pulls me close, and kisses my temple.

"He'll be fine, love," he softly says.

"I told Bridget to call if he needed me, and I would come straight home," I say.

"Okay," he says. I notice Freya eyeing Tobias' arm around me, and I can't help but smile at her, which she returns but it doesn't reach her eyes. She's never made a play for my husband like one red-headed bitch but her near-constant gawking is irritating as hell.

"Four told us about the terrible two and the marshmallow incident," Brody says with a deep, thoughtful laugh. He's changed so much since he jumped into the net two years ago, and I think it has everything to do with the young woman standing next to him looking up at him like he's the only one in the room. He's no longer a quiet, brooding loner. He's outgoing, feisty, thoughtful, and quite funny. He and Ana both fit in very well with our circle of friends.

"I swear if we were to let our girls loose on the city they would cause more damage than a tornado," Tobias says with a chuckle and everyone joins in. Freya laughs so hard she snorts, and we all look at her.

"What are you doing up here again?" Uriah asks, saving me from having to do it. If she didn't make googly eyes at my husband on a near daily basis, I'd feel sorry for her because she has no friends.

"I was giving Four an update from Zeke," she pouts.

"The first jumper will be here any minute," Tobias says. "You better join the crowd down below, Freya. Thanks for the information."

"You're welcome, Four," she beams. She just loves soaking up any drop of attention he gives her. I try not to let it bother me but it does. She turns on her heels and flounces down the stairs, her brunette ponytail swinging back and forth like a pendulum.

"She's got a crush on you, man," Uriah says, trying to hide a chuckle and Tobias sighs.

"Not you, too, man," he says.

"It's obvious," Ana says. "Tris, I don't know how you stand it. If someone looked at Brody that way, I'd take them out." She must be too busy looking at him herself to notice the scores of girls who follow him around with their eyes.

"Uriah's right," I say. "It's just a crush. She knows he's married. We made sure not to make the same mistake we made with the bi… with Olivia." Even after all this time, I hate the feel of her name on my tongue, and the scar on my hip pulsates with remembrance of the stabbing that could have taken my life. Brody and Ana look at each other and smile. "What?"

"We all knew you were married from day one," Brody says. This time Tobias and I look at each other.

"It was obvious by the way you two looked at each other," Ana says. "We knew you were in love, and Tris was pregnant. We put two and two together."

"It was also hard to miss your matching tattoos and wedding rings," he adds.

"We told them we were afraid they couldn't keep their hands to themselves," Christina says.

"I told them to keep it G rated because sex education wasn't part of the curriculum," Uriah snorts.

"Uri!" Tobias and I scold at the same time.

"You two can't take a joke," he says. I roll my eyes at him.

"I can't believe you knew and never said anything," I say to Brody and Ana.

"I guess it never came up," she shrugs. A piercing scream causes the entire room to go silent, and we all look toward the sky. Unlike the past two years, the streak isn't entirely black but black and white. Candor. Only when the net cradles the frightened girl does she stop shrieking at the top of her lungs, and I recognize her immediately even though it's been nearly two years since I last saw her. I should have known though. She sounded just like her sister when she jumped.

" _Rose_ ," Christina whispers as she stands frozen on the platform, wide-eyed and mouth agape, while Brody and Tobias reach up and help her younger sister out of the net. I think I'm just as surprised to see her here as Christina is. Since I met her, she's been the very definition of Candor. I can't imagine what would have brought her here.

"Hi, Christy," Rose softly says as she faces her sister. She was always taller but now she towers over Christina, who is tall in her own right. And she looks so much like their mother with her slick, side-parted, chin-length bob and wary dark brown eyes. She takes a step toward us but the look on Christina's face tells her that a hug would be inappropriate.

"Christina, would you like to do the honors?" I ask, breaking from tradition. Usually one of the initiate's instructors makes the announcement but I don't think Brody and Ana will mind under the circumstances.

She clears her throat, gathering her wits and yells loudly for all to hear, "First jumper … Rose." Rose is caught off guard when the Dauntless members emerge from the shadows and start their usual celebratory shouting, whistling, stomping, and fist pumping but soon a huge smile unfurls on her face. Christina puts her hand on her sister's back, leans in, and quietly says, "We'll talk later. I'm glad you're here," then directs her down the steps to where Will is standing just as another jumper drops toward the net like a rock.

"Okay," Rose says then she slowly and carefully descends the stairs taking in her surroundings.

"Who was that?" Brody asks.

"My sister. I can't believe she left Candor," Christina says as Tobias and Uriah help a petite blonde-haired, blue-eyed Erudite girl out of the net. "I totally forgot she turned 16 on her last birthday. I had no idea she would be choosing today. Poor Mom. I'll have to call her later and check on her. She's all alone now." Christina seems preoccupied as we watch initiate after initiate fall into the net. I'd love to talk to her about it but I know that now's not the time.

So far, we have equal numbers of transfers and Dauntless-born but there are still several left to jump according to Shauna who's still on the roof. She's been giving us steady updates throughout the process. We look toward the giant opening in the ceiling and watch as yet another black and white streak falls from the sky. _Great! Another Candor know it all._ They seem to be the ones who take the longest to conform to Dauntless ways. Brody and Tobias reach up to help the large boy out of the net. When he looks up and our eyes meet, I can't help my startled gasp. I swear I'm looking into the eyes of a ghost.

"Holy shit!" Christina murmurs barely above a whisper. I imagine I only hear it because we're standing so close to one another. I study the familiar-looking stranger when he's on two feet, and my body begins to tremble, and I have trouble breathing. He has the same kind face and soulful dark brown eyes that he did. He's a big guy just like he was. He has the same five o'clock shadow he did. I take a small step closer and a sweet, fresh aroma I haven't smelled in three years overwhelms my senses and clings to my nostrils. If I hadn't seen him pulled out of the chasm myself, I would swear Al was standing right here in front of me.

"What's your name?" I ask, my voice shaky with apprehension.

"Oliver," he softly says, studying me carefully. _They_ have _to be related._ He even sounds like Al right down to the soft, bass vibrato.

"Welcome to Dauntless, Oliver," I say. I regret the sentiment the moment it leaves my lips as a subtle smile graces his face. I don't even know why I said it. We don't individually welcome initiates.

"You need to wait at the end of the stairs with the other initiates," Tobias says, pointing in their direction. He nods and turns to go down the stairs and stumbles a little over his large feet but rights himself quickly. I finally tear my eyes away from Al's, I mean _Oliver's,_ back and meet my husband's worried stare.

"That has to be his brother, right?" Uriah quietly asks what we're all thinking as we wait for the next jumper. Uri, Christina, Tobias, and I stand silent and shell-shocked on the platform while Brody and Ana look at each other, confused. As I close my eyes and take a deep breath, my last conversation with Al replays in my mind.

"Are you all right, love?" Tobias softly asks, his mouth near my ear. He takes my hand in his and squeezes it tightly.

"I honestly don't know," I say, sounding hollow. "I thought I dealt with my feelings about Al a long time ago. I never thought he'd be standing before me again, living and breathing."

"It's. _Not_. Him. Tris," he slowly says, his voice dripping with anxiety.

 _I know_ , echoes inside my head but instead, "He looks _just_ like him," comes out of my mouth.

"Tris, it can't be him," Christina says. "We saw him as he was being hauled out of the chasm." _I remember._ I remember his open, vacant eyes; his lifeless blue lips; his body swollen with water and I shudder. "It's _not_ him." I can tell Brody and Ana are wondering about my reaction to the innocuous teen but there isn't time for an explanation as a red and yellow streak, the first today, falls into the net. Amity. That's a first in years actually. Uriah and Christina help her out.

"Maybe you should go home and get some rest," Tobias says as Ana asks the young girl her name.

"No, I'll be fine," I say, still somewhat upset. "Seeing him just shook me up. I hope there are no more surprises today." Just as the words cross my lips, my phone buzzes. I sigh as I pull it out, and worry makes my heart pound heavily in my chest when I see that it's Bridget calling. "Hi, Bridget. Is Tyler okay?"

"No, I'm afraid he's not, Tris," she says, something close to panic in her voice. My eyes fly to Tobias', and he immediately knows something's wrong at home. "He just woke up from his nap, and his stomach is really badly. What should I do?"

"Hold on just a second," I say. I hang my arm at my side, the phone suddenly feeling like it weighs a ton. "Christina?" She turns at the sound of my strained voice and concern overtakes her face. "Can Bridget drop the girls off with Fiona and Liam? We need to get Tyler to the infirmary as soon as possible."

"Of course," she says. "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know," I say, my voice emotionless. Tobias has taught me well the past three years, and I can now emulate Four flawlessly. I'm afraid to feel anything at the moment for fear of breaking down, and then I would be of no use to anyone. "Will you give her a heads up that they're coming?"

"Yeah," she says and she immediately pulls her phone out and sends a quick text.

"Bridget, take the girls to Will and Christina's. Fiona is expecting them, then get Tyler to the infirmary as quickly as you can.

"Tell her I'll meet her," Tobias says then he rushes off down the stairs, through the thick crowd, which parts like the Red Sea, and into the gaping mouth of the black tunnel.

"Four will meet you on the path, and I'll see you in the infirmary."

"Okay, Tris," she says then hangs up.

"Four and I have to go, guys," I hurriedly say over my shoulder as I hustle down the steps. "Tyler's sick and we have to take him to the infirmary." The agonized look on my face keeps Dauntless members at bay until I nearly reach the tunnel entrance. That's when Zander reaches out and stops me.

"What's going on, Tris?" Stella asks from right behind her husband. "Four ran out of here like a bat out of hell."

"There's something wrong with Tyler," I choke, then gather myself. "Four went to get him." Zander puts his hand on the small of my back and rushes me out of the cavernous room, shooting medical questions at me one right after another. "Do you know what's wrong with him, Zander?"

"I don't want to speculate before examining him, Tris," he says as we rush through the doors of the infirmary. "Emily, Four is bringing Tyler in for an examination. Have him brought back to exam room 12 STAT."

"Yes, doctor," the faceless nurse behind the intake desk says. I follow Zander through the freshly painted hallways into one of the newly remodeled examination rooms, practically having to run to keep up with him. Over the past two years the infirmary has had a complete overhaul, top to bottom. Erudite provided the latest, most up-to-date equipment. Two full-time physicians were transferred from the city hospital because we were so short staffed that Zander was working more than 12 hours a day 7 days a week and never getting any time with his family. But the best part of the remodel for me was the fact that Isobel has been assigned to the infirmary full-time. I love having her here; I wish she was here right now.

As I lower myself into one of the black leather chairs in the corner by the examination table, I can't help but wonder why he brought us to the furthest room from the waiting area but I don't get a chance to ask because he leaves as soon as I get settled. I continually wring my hands as both my knees jump around nervously of their own volition. Stella sits quietly beside me with her arm around me, trying to comfort me but unfortunately it does no good. I practice the deep breathing exercises Tobias taught me when we found out I was pregnant until I hear familiar crying, and I jump to my feet and rush out into the hallway.

" _But I want my mommy!_ " Tyler cries at the top of his lungs, making my heart twist painfully.

"She's right here, buddy," Tobias says, obviously distressed. He carefully places him in my arms, and I hug him to me tightly.

"My tummy hurts _so_ _bad_ , Mommy," he says, tears streaming down his cheeks. I loosen my grip and carry him from the hallway into the exam room, kissing the moisture away and sit down on the paper-covered examination table.

"I'm sorry, Tyler," I say, trying to swallow down the suffocating guilt. I shouldn't have left him. "I'm _so_ sorry." I place my hand in his. "You squeeze my hand as tightly as you can when your tummy hurts. Okay?"

"Okay," he says then bears down on my fingers. He's obviously in a lot of pain.

"Zander's going to examine you and figure out what's going on."

"Don't leave me!" he screams, his eyes wild. I hold him close to my chest and gently rock him back and forth like I used to when he would have a bad dream. He slowly calms down then I lean back a little and look in his face

"Hey, Mommy and Daddy aren't going anywhere, baby," I say. "I promise."

"I waked up and you was gone," he pouts.

"I know and I'm so sorry but I had to go work," I softly say. I've never felt guiltier about anything in my life than I do about this.

"How are you feeling, Tyler?" Zander asks as he walks in the room and shuts the door behind him.

"My tummy hurts. _Bad_ ," he groans. Zander performs a thorough examination, asking tons of questions as he goes along. I'm very proud that Tyler can answer most of them by himself but it also makes me sad because he's growing up so fast. Zander takes his temperature, which is quite high now. He listens to his heart and lungs. He checks his ears, nose, and throat then feels all around his neck and upper body. He also asks him if anything else hurts besides his tummy, which I'm surprised I didn't think to do, and Tyler tells him his throat and ears hurt, too.

"Can you lie down on the table and show me where it hurts? Your mommy can keep holding your hand." I help him lie down on the examination table and stand at his head. He holds tightly to my hand, although I don't know if it's from pain or fear. "Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere," he moans.

"Everywhere," Zander murmurs. "Let's see if we can narrow that down, okay?" Then he begins lightly pressing all over his tummy but Tyler doesn't react until he reaches slightly lower and to the right of his navel then he cries out.

"When's the last time he vomited?" he asks, looking at me.

"Did you get sick after your soup?" I ask and he shakes his head. "After breakfast, which was a single slice of wheat toast." He nods.

"I'm going to need a blood sample. You can hold him, Tris," Zander says. "Isobel will be right in to draw his blood. She's great with children."

"What do you think it is?" Tobias asks as I pick Tyler up and sit down on the table. I hold him close and caress his cheek, and I notice his eyes starting to droop. My poor boy. He's exhausted.

"It could be several things," he says. "I need the blood test to rule a few out." He gives us a sorrowful look then heads out into the hallway and disappears around the corner. Tobias sits on the table next to us, puts his arm around me, and pulls us close.

"I feel awful," I quietly say so only he can hear me. "I should have been with him, _not_ Bridget."

"Love, it's not your fault he's sick," he says.

"It feels that way." He kisses my temple and then kisses Tyler's head. We're quiet as we wait for Isobel, knowing there's nothing either of us can do to make his pain go away.

"Hi, guys," she says as she walks into the room not a minute later, thankfully pulling me from my dreary thoughts. "I hear you're not feeling well, Tyler. I sure am sorry to hear that. I'm going to take a little blood right out of your arm." He tenses in my embrace when she says that. "It will just be one little poke. I'll fill this half full," she holds up a glass vial with a blue stopper in the top, "then it will be all done. Can you count to 15?"

"Yeah," he shyly says. In his traumatized state he might not remember that Isobel has been to our house several times with her husband, Carter, and their kids, Alec, Jace, and Claire. She wanted to name her baby girl Clary after a character in the same book she got her boys' names but Carter put his foot down … threw a full-fledged fit is more like it … so they compromised and named her Claire Marie after his mother. Isobel told me that it's close enough to Clary that she didn't mind compromising and calls her Clary once in a while just to piss Carter off.

"I'm going to wipe off your arm with this alcohol swab first." She holds up a little square package then takes his little arm and gently presses around until she finds a suitable vein then cleanses the area thoroughly. She picks up a butterfly needle and says, "You're going to feel a little poke then I want you, Mommy, and Daddy to all slowly count to 15 then it will be over. Okay?"

"Okay," he whimpers.

"I need you to sit really still for me, Tyler. Okay?" He nods. "All right, here comes the poke." I tighten my grip on him as she puts the needle in his arm, and he winces but does a great job of sitting still then we start counting. True to her word, when we reach 15 she's all done and a neon green band-aid is in place over the small wound. "I'm putting a rush on this. When Dr. Parrish gets the results, he'll be back in to talk to you. It won't be long, I promise."

"Do you know what he's looking for?" I ask, sounding weary.

"Abnormal values in bloodwork tell a valuable story," she says. "It'll give the doctor a better idea of what's going on. He'll be in soon, guys. I know it may be difficult but try not to worry. Feel better, Tyler." I look down at my boy and his eyes are closed, and he seems to be sleeping.

"Thanks, Isobel," Tobias says and we watch as she walks out of the room. "Why don't we sit in the chairs? They're more comfortable. I'll take him."

"No!" I gruffly say and immediately regret it. God, I have a lot of regrets today. "I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have snapped at you. None of this is your fault." I immediately understand his disapproving look but I still hold myself responsible. "Yes, I'd like to sit in the chairs." Once we get situated, I realize Stella is no longer here. "Do you know where Stella went?"

"Not really," he says. "She stepped out while Zander was examining Tyler." I don't know if our conversation wakes him up or if it is the pain but he drags his eyes open and starts crying again. Maybe it's the stress of the situation because I feel like crying, too. After trying to comfort him for a few minutes, Tobias jumps to his feet in a rage and stomps out of the room.

"Where did Daddy go?" Tyler mutters, forlornly. "Is he mad at me?"

"Oh, God! Of course, he's not mad at you, my sweet boy," I say, my heart twisting painfully. "Why would you think such a thing? Mommy and Daddy are just worried. We don't like that you're in pain and nothing is being done about it. He's upset but not at you."

"But where did he _go_?" he asks again.

"He came to get me," Zander says as he walks into the room with Tobias on his heels or should I say Four because his emotions are tightly bottled up at the moment, probably for fear of losing it. "I need to speak to you and Four in the hallway, Tris."

"Absolutely not," I vehemently say, shaking my head. "I promised Tyler I wouldn't leave him. I'm not breaking that promise."

"All right," he says, reaching out and squeezing my shoulder. "Four, please sit down." Tobias begrudgingly does as he's asked as Zander pulls up his rolling doctor's stool in front of us and sits down. "Based on Tyler's physical examination and blood work, he has double ear infection and strep throat but what worries me is that he also has the classic symptoms of appendicitis so I'm ordering an abdominal ultrasound and CT scan. Depending on the results, he may need to have surgery."


	5. Chapter 5

"Surgery?" I mutter under my breath, my heart threatening to beat its way right out of my tightening chest. I can't breathe. Tobias reaches out and grabs my hand and painfully squeezes it until I draw in an unsteady gasp. I don't think either one of us thought that what's wrong with Tyler could possibly be this serious. _Lord, please don't let my baby have to have surgery._

"Mommy?" he moans lowly.

"Yeah, buddy?" I ask as I smooth his hair down affectionately. I hate that he's suffering.

"What is sur…ger…ry?" he asks as he looks up at me, his eyes wide with fear.

"I tell you what, Tyler," Zander says, garnering all our attention, "I'll tell you all about what surgery is _if_ you have to have one. Does that sound all right?"

"Okay," he says. He buries his head in my chest and clings to me tightly. He's obviously scared, and he's not the only one.

"Isobel will give him the ultrasound while I arrange for a CT scan," Zander says. "As soon as I get the results then I'll know more, and we'll discuss your options. One thing I need from you two is to arrange for Tessa and Teagan to be brought down so they can be checked for strep. They might need antibiotics, too. Okay?"

"Okay," Tobias says as he gets to his feet. "Hey, I'm sorry about earlier."

"Don't apologize, Four," he says as he slaps his back, understandingly. "You're worried about your son. I would have done the same thing if I were in your shoes. I'm sorry he's hurting but it's best to hold off on all medication until we know exactly what we're dealing with. I hope you understand."

"I understand. It's just hard to see him this way."

"Isobel will be in soon," he says then turns and walks out the door. I watch as Tobias gets his phone out of his pocket.

"Hey, Bridget, it's Four," he says. "Where are you … Good. Will you please bring them to the infirmary? What Tyler has is contagious, and they need to be examined, too … Thank you." He sighs as he puts his phone away then runs his hand through his hair, obviously frustrated. "She's going to change the girls then bring them down." It may be way down on my list of concerns, at the moment, but I'm glad she's going to put Tessa and Teagan in proper outfits. I don't want the compound to think that I don't know my colors and patterns. A noise at the door captures my attention and Isobel walks in pushing a familiar-looking machine. She sets it up next to the examination table then looks over at me.

"Does Tyler's jeans have a zipper?" she asks.

"Yes," I immediately answer, wondering the significance of her question.

"He can't wear any metal for the CT scan. It interferes with the results," she says, answering my unasked question. She goes to the bank of cupboards along the wall and opens a drawer then comes back with a set of neon green scrubs. "You can wear these, Tyler. They're just your size." I help him out of his jeans and t-shirt and into the scrubs, and it's the first time I've seen him smile all day.

"You look very handsome in these," I say. "You look just like your daddy."

"Can I keep them?" he asks me. I look toward Isobel and she nods.

"You sure can," I say as I lift him onto the exam table. He lies down and immediately closes his eyes. "Are you tired, buddy?"

"Mm-hm," he says, his eyes fluttering back open. "Can I take a nap?" This is a first. He's never asked permission to sleep before. He usually asks to stay up late.

"If you can sleep, honey, you go right on ahead," Isobel says. I hold his hand and rhythmically brush his bangs out of his eyes, studying his face as he falls asleep. "He's a trooper."

"I'm so worried about him," I quietly say as she preps him for the test. "Will his test be like the ultrasounds I got when I was pregnant?"

"Exactly," she says then points at Tyler's head. "Why don't you stand on this side of the machine? You'll be in reach of his hand if he wakes up, which he might because I've got to put an IV in."

"Shouldn't you wait to do that until he wakes up anyway?" Tobias asks.

"In my experience, it's actually easier when a child is sleeping or sedated," she says and she's right. Within five minutes he has an IV in the back of his left hand and the ultrasound is complete. We ask her take on the results, and she explains that she isn't qualified to read the tests, only give them, so we'll have to wait. "A nurse will be in soon to escort you to the radiology lab for his CT scan. Can I get anything for either of you?"

"I don't think so," I say.

"Bridget is bringing the girls down so they can be examined," Tobias says. "They should be here soon. I didn't know where to tell her to go."

"I'll take care of it for you," she says before she leaves us alone.

"He looks so small on this table," I say. Tobias drapes his arm over my shoulder and pulls me close. "I hate that he's going through this."

"Me, too," he says. I turn and he takes me in his arms. "You're worrying me." I lift my chin and look at him.

"You're worried about me?" I ask. "Don't be."

"But I am," he says. "You're not acting like yourself. You're acting like … _me_."

"I guess you're rubbing off," I say. He takes my face between his palms and stares down at me.

"Talk to me, Tris," he pleads. "We work so well because there's only _one_ of me." Not even his self-deprecating humor makes me smile.

"I'm barely holding it together, Tobias," I say, emotionlessly, "and Tyler needs me to be strong not blubbering in the corner. I would be of no use to anyone."

"I understand," he says. "I'm scared, too."

"I've never been more afraid in my life." My bottom lip slowly starts to quiver as I stare into his concerned eyes then I bury my head in his chest as the tears I've been holding back the past hour or so stream down my face and wet his shirt. He holds me tightly as the pent-up emotion flows out of me. I should have known that a good cry would be cathartic.

"Feeling better?" he asks as he kisses my head.

"A little," I say. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry to interrupt," an unfamiliar voice says. Tobias releases me and I quickly rub my tear-filled eyes then turn around and face the plump, older, golden-haired nurse. She must be new because I've never seen her before. "I'm here to take Tyler for his CT scan. Would you like to accompany him?"

"You go with him, love," Tobias says, knowing exactly where I need to be right now. "I'll wait here for the girls."

"Okay." I go up on my tiptoes and lightly press my lips to his. "Thank you," I whisper. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says.

"Is it all right if I just carry him?" I ask the nurse.

"Sure," she says. "We're just going next door." I gently lift him into my arms, and he tightens his arms around my neck. By the time I walk across the hallway, he's wide awake.

"Did you have a good nap?" I ask and he nods. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little," he murmurs.

"I'm happy to hear that," I say as I sit down in the chair.

"Do you like banana or grape better, Tyler?" the nurse asks.

"Banana," he says.

"That's my favorite, too," she jovially says. There's something about her that reminds me of my mother. She picks up a small paper cup off a metal tray then kneels down in front of us. "I need you to drink this. It's how we'll be able to see inside you with this machine. It will taste like bananas but it might have a weird aftertaste." He reaches out and takes it then looks up at me.

"Drink it really fast," I say. "You can do it." _I hope it doesn't come right back up._ He looks in the cup and tentatively lifts it to his mouth. He sniffs at it and wrinkles his nose. "You can do it, buddy." After staring at it for a full minute, he puts it to his mouth and drinks it down in two swallows. When he finishes, he gags but he manages to keep it down.

"That's yucky," he grimaces.

"Does he have to drink anything else?" I ask.

"No, that's it," she says. "In about five minutes I'll inject a dye into his IV then we'll do the test."

"I'm scared," Tyler says, looking at the imposing machine near the center of the room.

"It's okay to be scared," I say.

"The test is really easy, Tyler," the nurse says. "You'll lie on the table and hold really still while I go in that little room over there. When I start the machine, the table will slowly move you through the big circle, taking pictures of your insides the entire time. It takes about 15 seconds and then you'll be done. Easy-peasy!" He doesn't say anything, he just rests his head against my chest. I look at the nurse and mouth thank you. She smiles and leaves us alone.

"Mommy, have I been bad?" he asks. I furrow my brows, taken aback by his question.

"No. Why do you think that?" He shrugs his shoulders and sighs.

"I thinked maybe I was bad is why my tummy hurts so much," he finally says.

"Buddy, you're just sick," I say. "Everyone gets sick from time to time. It doesn't mean you were bad."

"Are you sure?" he moans.

"I'm your mommy," I say. "I will never lie to you. If you ask me a question, I will always answer it to the best of my ability. You aren't sick because you were bad. You're sick because you came into contact with icky germs."

"So, the germs are bad?" he asks.

"Yes, the germs are bad. _You_ are not bad."

"I love you, Mommy," he says, hugging me.

"I love you, too, Tyler Aaron," I say as I kiss his head, "to the moon and back."

"Moon and back," he sighs.

"Time for the dye," the nurse says as she comes back into the room. When she picks up a syringe off the metal tray table, Tyler tenses in my arms.

"She's going to put that in the tube on the IV on your hand," I say. "It won't hurt at all."

"That's right," she says. She picks up his hand then injects the dye into the port. "Did it hurt?"

"No," he says as he shakes his head.

"I told you it wouldn't hurt," she says. "Now I need you to lie on the table." I get up and carry him to the table. He clings to me and won't let go.

"I can't hold your hand during this test but I won't leave the room," I say. "I promise."

"If you hold still when I tell you to, the test will be over in 15 seconds," the nurse says.

"Can I count?" he asks.

"That's a great idea," she says. "I wish I would have thought of that." Her enthusiasm gains a small smile from him. He finally lets me release him and then he lies back stick straight and stone still. "I'll need you to sit in the chair, Tris."

"Okay," I say. I lean over and kiss Tyler's forehead. "I'll be right over there, buddy. Be brave." I say the words his father once told me then sit down. I think I'm talking to myself though.

"Okay, Tyler, start counting now," the nurse says. I count with him, watching as the table moves through the machine and when we say 12, it shuts off. "All done." I get up and pick him up off the table. He rests his head on my shoulder as I hold him close once again.

"Do you know how long it will take to get the results?" I ask.

"Dr. Parrish called the radiologist in to read the images but he isn't here yet," she says. "He's on his way though. Once he's read them, the results will be given to you immediately. You're free to go back into the other exam room. Thanks for being a great patient, Tyler."

"You're welcome," he shyly says.

"Let's go, buddy," I say. When I walk back into his exam room, I don't know where to put Tyler because his sisters are sitting on the table getting examined by Zander. I'm thankful to see them in cute outfits rather than the hodgepodge messes they were in this morning. Tessa has on a black and white tunic with a pink rosette on the high waistline over black and white stripped capris, and Teagan is in a white chiffon top with a tulle ruffle overlay, black detailing along the neckline, and a removable pink rosette on the front over black and white capris with a cute geometric design. And they're both wearing matching black headbands with a pink rosette in their freshly brushed hair and little black sandals adorned with a black flower.

"Hi, Mama!" they say in unison.

"Hi, girls," I say. "You sure look cute." Tessa frowns at me, probably because I reminded her that she had to take the outfit off she picked out for herself. _Oh, to have her problems._

"Ty-Ty 'till sick?" Tessa asks as she looks at her brother. "Him cwied. A lot."

"Mm-hm," Teagan says, agreeing with her sister's take on the situation.

"Tyler has a tummy ache," Tobias says.

"Open wide, Teags," Zander says. He puts something in her mouth then puts it in a vial and seals it. "Thank you."

"Way-come," she says, grinning.

"Do either of you have a tummy ache?" Zander asks and they shake their little heads. "What about a sore throat or an earache?" Once again, they shake their heads.

"Okay," he says. "Four, Tris, I need swabs of your throats, too, just to be on the safe side. I assume neither of you are feeling poorly or you would have told me."

"I'm tired but I didn't get a lot of sleep last night," Tobias says, "but nothing hurts."

"Me, too," I say.

"Like I said, I just want to be on the safe side," he says. He takes a quick swab of my throat and then Tobias' then seals them in individual vials. He looks at his phone when it beeps and breathes a sigh of relief. "The radiologist is here to read the tests. I should have answers for you in the next half hour or so. Sit tight." Tobias takes the girls off the exam table so Tyler can get more comfortable. I pile a couple pillows and ease him back on them.

"Does your tummy still hurt?" I ask. I feel something wrap around my leg and Tessa's beside me with her arms wrapped around my shin.

"I want up," she whines. I pick her up and immediately Teagan wants up, too, so Tobias grabs ahold of her.

"Yes," Tyler says, looking frustrated or sad … I'm not quite sure which but I think he'd be happy if his sisters were back home right now so he was getting all the attention again.

"I sowwy you sick," Tessa says. "I love you, Ty-Ty."

"I love you, Tess," he says.

"Lub 'ou," Teagan says, never wanting to feel left out.

"I love you, Teags," he sighs. "Can I go back to sleep, Mommy?"

"Of course, you can, buddy," I say. "We'll just sit over there." All four of us kiss his head then Tobias and I sit in the vacant chairs with the girls in our laps. Their afternoon must have been overwhelming for them, too, because within minutes they're each fast asleep. I lean up against Tobias and he puts his arm around me.

"We'll know what we're facing soon, love," Tobias says. Even though I haven't said a word, my doubts must be screaming at him loudly.

"You know me so well," I say as I rest my head against his shoulder.

"Yeah, I do," he says as he kisses my forehead. I look at each of our sleeping children and smile.

"I wish _I_ could take a nap, too," I say. "It's odd feeling fatigued and keyed up at the same time."

"I know how you feel," he says. "I could sleep for hours or workout on the punching bags, either one."

"Good news," Zander says as he comes through the door but upon seeing all the sleeping faces, he lowers his voice. "I'm sorry. First, Tyler doesn't have to have surgery. The ultrasound and CT scan were normal." Hearing those six simple words – Tyler doesn't have to have surgery – is like having the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. "I would like to keep him overnight for observation though because his temperature is still climbing and his white count is higher than I'd like to see. I'm ordering IV antibiotics and pain medication. We'll check his labs again in the morning, and if I see an improvement, I'll release him to go home. Your strep tests were both negative but the girls', unfortunately, were positive but I think we caught it early. I'll give them both a seven-day course of a mild liquid antibiotic. Make sure they take all of it or they could develop symptoms like Tyler's."

"I didn't know strep throat could cause stomach pain," I say.

"Yes, in children, it's a common occurrence, which I probably should have told you but his symptoms were perfectly mimicking appendicitis also so I wanted to be 100% sure I was giving you the correct information." While Zander gives us a clinical explanation of strep throat and how it caused Tyler's ear infection, why it causes abdominal pain in some but not all cases, and what to look for in the future, Isobel comes in and administers an antibiotic and pain medication to Tyler. I try to listen to everything Zander has to say but I'm more focused on my son and the fact that he's going to be just fine. "Do either of you have any questions?"

"He won't be in this room for the night, will he?" I ask.

"No, I'm having a suite made up with fresh sheets," he says. "You, Four, and the girls can all stay."

"Thank you so much," I emphatically say. "You're too kind to us, you know that."

"It's what I would expect if one of my kids was sick," he says.

A different blonde-haired nurse sticks her head in the door and says, "The room is ready, doctor."

"Thank you," Zander says. "Would you like me to grab Tyler?"

"Can you take Tessa, and I'll get Tyler?" I ask.

"Sure," he says. I stand up and very gently put Tessa in Zander's arms then carefully pick up Tyler. I'm surprised that as we walk to the inpatient rooms the kids don't wake up but none of them make a sound. When we enter the suite, I put Tyler down in the single adjustable hospital bed and tuck him in, and Tobias and Zander put Tessa and Teagan in the extra-large crib. "The nursing staff will be in periodically throughout the evening and night to check on Tyler. The girls' antibiotics are right here." He points at two bottles of liquid sitting on the counter. "One dropper full twice a day for the next seven days. It's bubblegum flavor so hopefully they won't fight taking it. Someone from the cafeteria will be in shortly to take your dinner and breakfast orders. Do you have any questions for me?"

"I don't think so," I say as I wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly. "Thank you so much, Zander."

"I was just doing my job, Tris," he bashfully says.

"No, you dropped everything on your day off, nonetheless, and made sure Tyler got the best care possible, and you kept Four and me as calm as possible," I say. "You are a godsend, Zander." A subtle blush colors his face when I kiss his cheek. "Dauntless is lucky to have you as our doctor, and Four and I are lucky to have you as our friend."

"I think you choked him up," Tobias says, lightening the mood and we all laugh lightly. "But seriously, thank you."

"I don't need any more thanks," he says. "I have to be going. Stella and the kids are waiting for me."

"Will you pass on my thanks to Stella," I say. "I feel bad she got out of here before I could say anything myself. It may not have seemed like it but I'm extremely thankful to have had her with me when I didn't know what was going on with my boy."

"I'll tell her, Tris," he says. "If you two need anything, don't hesitate to call. I'll see you later."

"Bye," we say as he walks out the door. We check on the kids then relax on the small loveseat in the corner of the room, our arms and legs a tangled mess, the stress of the day leaving us longing for contact from the one person we love most in this world.

"What a day," Tobias says.

"I know," I murmur. "Can I call for a do over?" When I woke up this morning, I was blissfully ignorant to what this day had in store for my family. I'm thankful everything turned out okay but I wish my kids weren't sick. I feel his lips in my hair and I sigh. If I'm not careful I might fall asleep. A light rapping on the doorframe makes us untangle ourselves from each other's embrace just before a young man sticks his head into the room.

"Hi, I'm here to take your dinner and breakfast orders," he says. He hands Tobias what looks like a menu, and I scoot closer to him and look over his shoulder. "These are your menu choices. Just circle what you want and mark the quantity. I'll be back in a few minutes to pick them up."

"Okay, thanks," I say. "What sounds good?"

"Well, the girls can split an order of chicken strips, macaroni and cheese, mixed vegetables, apple sauce, and a slice of cake."

"I want mac and cheese," Tyler groggily says. Tobias and I get off the couch and sit on either side of his small bed. "Where am I?"

"You're in the infirmary," I say. "We moved into a room while you were asleep."

"I think you should have something soothing for your tummy. How about some chicken and noodles over mashed potatoes?" Tobias asks. "I think I'll have that myself."

"Okay, Daddy," he says then yawns. "Why am I so sleepy?"

"Zander gave you some medicine that will keep the pain away," I say. "But it also makes you tired. Are you feeling any better?"

"My tummy doesn't hurt as bad," he says. "But it still hurts."

"I'm so sorry you're sick," I say as I kiss his head. "You rest, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy," he says.

I sit, holding Tyler's hand and watching him rest as Tobias finishes filling out our dinner and breakfast orders. He tries to keep everything as normal as possible for Tessa and Teagan and as light as possible for Tyler. He's such a good father. Shortly after the cafeteria worker comes to pick up our orders, the girls wake up from their naps. This family suite is obviously set up to keep little ones entertained with the number of books, toys, and movies that are in the cupboards. While we wait for dinner, Tobias plays dolls with Tessa, and I quietly read a story to Teagan. Tyler tries to stay awake but the medication is too strong, and he drifts in and out.

Christina stops by with pajamas she bought for the girls, Tobias, and me. I thank her by crying on her shoulder for a couple minutes then rambling about Tyler and his strep throat. After telling her that Tessa and Teagan have it too, I suggest she bring Liam in to get checked just to be on the safe side because he's with the girls most days since Fiona and Bridget are sisters, and they spend a lot of time together. After I'm done blubbering, she gives me the final stats on the initiates and lets me know hard copies are in Tobias' office. I want to ask her opinion about our Al look-alike but the cafeteria worker chooses that very moment to bring our delicious-smelling supper into the room. I thank her for the clothes and promise to talk again soon.

After supper, we let Tyler pick out a movie and it's no surprise he picks out _Cars_. It's still his favorite after all this time. His sisters whine, wanting to watch a princess movie but we explain that Tyler gets to choose because he had a scary day. They apologize by crawling up onto his bed and giving him kisses. He acts like they annoy him but I secretly know how much he loves his little sisters.

Tyler surprises me by watching every minute of the movie but the second we turn it off, he closes his eyes and passes out, probably because the nurse came in and gave him another dose of antibiotic and pain medication. Since it's not quite bedtime and they've both been so good, we let the girls pick out a movie, which takes them about 10 minutes to agree upon. About halfway through _Tangled_ I notice that Teagan is out like a light and Tessa's head is bobbing up and down like a bobber with a fish on the line. I try to turn the TV off but she whines that she was watching it, and she manages to stay awake through the second half.

"It's time for bed, little one," I say and she groans.

"I not seepy," she mutters, her eyes practically closed.

"You always say that," Tobias quietly murmurs. "Let's get your jammies on." She fights until she sees the cute purple PJs Christina picked out for her that say "Her Royal Sleepiness" across the front over a princess getting into bed then she relents. Within minutes, I'm rocking her and she's sound asleep. Teagan's cries break the peaceful silence when Tobias accidentally wakes her up trying to get her PJs on. He picks her up and rubs her back until she falls back to sleep then once again the suite is silent except for the incessant tic, tic, tic of the wall clock. When our kids are down for the night, Tobias, and I collapse onto the loveseat.

"I'm so tired," I murmur.

"Me, too," he yawns. I kick off my boots and curl up beside him. He wraps his arms around me and draws my lips to his. He kisses me tenderly for a moment then pulls away. "I think we should go to bed."

"I think you're right." We manage to get to our feet and I throw a pair of black sleep shorts and a black wife beater to him. "We have to remember to properly thank Christina," I say as I hold up a pair of PJs that match his. "She's so thoughtful. Pajamas never even crossed my mind."

"But they sure do come in handy when we have to sleep in public." He goes into the small bathroom and gets ready for bed then I take my turn. I kiss each of my babies, thank God that they're each safe and sound, then slide into bed beside my husband.

"Goodnight, baby." I tilt my lips up to his and give him a soft kiss.

"Goodnight, love."


	6. Chapter 6

"Hello, gorgeous," Tobias says as he walks through my office door. I didn't realize I was staring out my large wall of windows, gazing at nothing in particular, until he interrupts my scattered thoughts. "Are you up for a field trip?"

"A field trip, huh?" I ask, intrigued. I haven't been farther than my office since Tyler got sick so a quick trip someplace might be nice but I hate to be too far away from any of the kids right now. "Where to?"

"No place special, I'm afraid," he says. "Just the training room to check how the initiates are faring so far." We may not have to spend day in and day out with the transfers like the past two years but it's our responsibility as leaders of the faction to check the progress of each new initiation class. I look at my hefty stack of paperwork then back at my handsome husband and give him a sweet smile.

"I should really stay here and get my filing done since I've been away from my office all week," I say and his face falls. " _But_ I can't pass up the opportunity to spend the afternoon with my favorite person." His frown transforms into a brilliant smile that takes my breath away. He leans across my desk and gives me a soft kiss. After I pull away, I lock the files in my bottom desk drawer then follow him out into the hallway. "Do you know what they're working on this afternoon?"

"The transfers are having their first scored hand-to-hand, and the Dauntless-born will be doing short barrel target practice," he says.

"It seems a bit early for scored practice fights, doesn't it?" I ask.

"Brody, Ana, Uriah, and Christina thought it would give them a better idea of each initiate's beginning level if they fought _before_ they had a lot of practice since everyone learns at a different pace," he says.

"Hhm. That's actually a very good idea," I say.

"They made that change to the schedule while you were at Abnegation, which we've never talked about, come to think of it," he says.

"We haven't, have we?" I say. "I'm sorry. With everything that happened with Tyler and the girls, I guess it just slipped my mind."

"Well, that's totally unacceptable," he sternly says. I give him my "what the hell _"_ look and he smiles mischievously. "I'm kidding. It's not like you haven't had more important things on your mind."

"You better be kidding if you ever want inside me again," I say.

"There you go, using sex as a weapon," he snickers and shakes his head. "What did Natalie tell you about that?" My face turns beet red when he reminds me of the belated sex talk my mom had with me shortly after Tobias and I first became intimate.

"You're in a good mood."

"I am," he says. "I woke up this morning next to the most beautiful woman in the world." He bumps his shoulder against mine and winks. "Don't tell my wife."

"Only if you don't tell my husband," I say, enjoying our playful banter.

"Then the kids were all feeling better," he says. "Work has been great and the compound has been relatively quiet. It's a gorgeous day out." He stops in the middle of the path and pulls me up against his hard body. His lips land on mine in a fiery kiss. When he pulls his mouth away, his eyes are dilated and his breathing is raspy and shallow. "Now it's even better."

"I can think of something that would make it even better," I say as I shyly look up at him through my lowered lashes.

"What's that?" he asks, his voice gravelly and suddenly full of desire.

I put my lips against his ear and say, "Do you know what I really want?" I see his Adam's apple move as he swallows hard. "I want a piggyback ride."

"God, you're such a tease," he growls. "Hop up." I giddily clap my hands together as he turns around. I hop up on his back and wrap my arms around his neck as he grabs ahold of both my legs.

"If you're a good boy maybe I'll wrap my legs around you again tonight," I whisper in his ear.

"I've got to get my mind onto something else before you get me totally hard, love," he quietly says as he turns down the hallway to the training room.

"I'm sorry, baby! Let me tell you about my meeting at Abnegation. It's a real mood killer," I apologetically say as I kiss his cheek and he chuckles. "We _finally_ came to an agreement on the work release program. I still can't believe it's taken this long … stubborn jackasses." Not all council members are forward thinkers, and they'd rather not rock the boat. An idea that should have taken six months max to nail down has taken nearly two years. "All inmates will stay in their own faction but they will be assigned orange work clothes, indicating they are detainees. Each detail will consist of no more than 10 inmates and two armed Dauntless guards. If a larger team is needed for a project, two or more details will merge and additional guards will be assigned. Which reminds me, we have to sit down soon and decide who will be in charge of the guards. They'll need to be involved in the process of assigning daily tasks and hiring personnel since the law will go into effect on September 1st." He lets go of my leg, and I loosen my arms and drop to my feet. He turns and looks down at me, a look of deep respect on his face.

"I am _so_ proud of you, Tris," he says, completely serious now. "You had an idea, presented it to the council, stuck to your guns in the face of a lot of adversity, and now you are responsible for a new law that is going to help the entire city. I don't tell you enough just how brilliant you are." I blush at his compliments. It's not that I don't like getting them but they're totally unnecessary.

"Thanks," I say. He looks up and down the hallway then lowers his mouth to mine. It isn't long before we are lost in the feeling of our lips moving together unhurriedly. The sound of the door opening makes us jump apart like we just got caught doing something wrong. Oliver and another boy are helping a third to the infirmary, well _dragging_ is more like it. Al's lookalike gives me a small smile and discomfort sweeps through my body. We say nothing to the initiates, we just walk into the training room. We go to the firearms side where Uriah and Christina are pacing behind the Dauntless-born, evaluating how the initiates are doing. Because of the noise, they don't hear our arrival.

"Hi," I say to my best friend when I reach her side.

"Shit!" she says, her eyes wide. Her hand flies to cover her mouth, and then she laughs. "Sorry. You scared the crap out of me."

"Really? We hadn't noticed," Tobias drolly says, his Four mask planted firmly on his face but we all know he's teasing.

"What are you doing here?" Uriah asks. I feel eyes on me and notice that a few of the initiates have stopped firing at the targets and have focused their attention on us.

"Were you told to stop?" I firmly ask.

"No, Tris," they say.

"Then get back to work," I say. They all turn back around, taking the proper stance and start firing again, except one. He looks familiar but I can't quite place him. I'm about ready to say something when Uriah hollers at him.

"Hector, are you hard of hearing? Tris said to get back to work." _Hector?_

"Shauna and Lynn's little brother?" I ask when he turns around, understanding now why he looks so familiar. All three of them have the exact same brown eyes. "Wow, he's changed a lot." I remember him as a scrawny kid with acne and a bad haircut who was constantly following Lynn and Marlene around, getting into trouble. His brown hair is now shorn close to his head, not quite as severely as Lynn's was during our initiation but it makes them look eerily similar.

"We thought we'd check out the initiates and see how things are going," Tobias says. "I know it's early but who do you think the standouts are?"

"Taylor and Jensen," Uriah says.

"Don't forget Alice," Christina says looking at Uri then she looks at us. "She beat Dylan today in their first practice fight. It wasn't even close. She annihilated him."

"Was he afraid of hurting her because she's a girl?" I ask. We've had that problem in the past but the guys usually get over it quickly.

"Oh, he was afraid all right but not because she was a girl but because she's that much better than him, and she was really making him look bad," Uriah snickers. Dylan is standing as far away from Alice as possible but I notice that he keeps glaring her way. I also see a bruise circling his left eye.

"She must pack one hell of a punch," I say, motioning at his face.

"She gave him a nice shiner, didn't she?" Christina says, humor in her voice. She loves being an instructor. She steps closer to me and lowers her voice. "How many times have you called to check on Tyler today?" I glance at her out of the corner of my eye and grimace. "That many, huh?" Zander discharged Tyler Thursday morning, and I stayed home the rest of the day and all day yesterday but since Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan each woke up feeling a lot better this morning, I forced myself to leave them with Bridget but I've called once, sometimes twice an hour to check on them.

"When Four came into my office I was staring out the window thinking about calling to check on them again," I sigh. "I should have just stayed home today. I'm kind of useless. I haven't gotten a damn thing done, although coming here has given me something else to focus on."

"I'm glad they're feeling better," she says. "I'm surprised Liam didn't have strep, too, for as much time as they spend together."

"Yeah, me too," I say. "But I'm glad he doesn't. It hasn't been terrible for the girls but it hit Tyler like a ton of brick but thankfully he's feeling more like himself now. Your initiates look good."

"I'm beginning to think each one of them fired a weapon at least once before training started," she says. "None of them have needed much instruction."

"I wonder if it will be the same for the long guns," I ponder out loud.

"No," she says. "They struggle just as much with the shotguns as the transfers do. I think it's all the paintball they play."

"Good point," I say. Dependents aren't _supposed_ to fire weapons of any kind before their Choosing Ceremony but everyone looks the other way when it comes to playing paintball, one of Dauntless' favorite pastimes. I guess we think of it more as playing a game than practicing with weapons. Tobias and I have even played a few games with them ourselves.

I pace behind the Dauntless-born, taking in their strengths and weaknesses, which I have come to easily recognize over the past two years. Even though they are all doing remarkably well, I give each of them minor corrections and some praise. When I get to Hector I notice a spider tattoo peeking out of the collar of his crewneck t-shirt. It's very realistic looking. I study his stance and how he handles the weapon. Then I check his target, and he's hitting the bullseye every time.

"Great job, Hector," I say then start to move on to the next initiate when he stops firing and looks at me.

"I don't need praise from a _Stiff_ ," he snarls, leaving me speechless. _What the?_ No one has called me that in such a disparaging tone in _years_.

" _Excuse_ me?" Tobias hisses. I didn't realize he was so close. His nostrils flare, and I swear I see steam come out his ears.

"I just don't get it," he says, not backing down one bit. Slowly one by one each of the Dauntless-born stops firing and focuses on the tense standoff between Hector and my husband. After I gather my wits, I squeeze Tobias' arm and he looks down at me. Hopefully, the look on my face conveys the message I want it to … I'll take care of this myself.

"What don't you get?" I ask Hector, looking him squarely in the dark brown eyes.

"Why someone from Abnegation could be a leader of Dauntless," he says. "Once a Stiff, _always_ a Stiff."

"First of all," I say as I step closer to him, "I may have been born in Abnegation but I have _always_ been Dauntless. Three years ago, I jumped, _first_ I might add, into the same net you jumped into, what, next to last three days ago, and I passed my initiation, ranking at the top, surviving cuts that made some _Dauntless-born_ factionless for no other reason than I wanted it more and I worked my ass off. They underestimated me because they looked at me as smaller and weaker because I came from a faction they viewed as less than themselves. _Never_ make that mistake. I'm far from weak. I'm one of the strongest women in this faction.

"So, you see, I'm more Dauntless than you'll ever be and if you _ever_ disrespect me like that again you'll find out what it's like to be factionless. You got it!" My heart is hammering in my chest like a runaway freight train barreling down the tracks. I'd like nothing more than to turn and walk away but I hold his cold stare until he finally drops his eyes. I'll take the small victory. "I expect an apology," he starts to open his mouth but I surprise him by saying, "but I don't want it until you're offering a sincere one. You see, I think the separation between the factions isn't always a good one. It gives certain people a sense of superiority that, in my experience, leads to trouble. I see that arrogance in you, so to nudge you in the right direction, starting tomorrow, you will live and train with the transfers." His eyes fly to mine and his mouth falls open. "I want you to see what it's like for the ones who have to leave everything they know behind to make a fresh start in life. If I see you with the Dauntless-born, there will be consequences. Am I understood?"

"You can't do that," he says, his wild eyes rushing from Uriah to Christina to Tobias, who has an uncharacteristic smirk on his face. He never lets his emotions show at times like these.

"Actually, she can and she just did," he says, sounding proud. "You do have another option, though." Hector starts to smile and I hold my breath wondering if Tobias is going to undermine me. "You can leave right now." He points toward the wall. "There's the door right there." Hector's smile fades, and I release the breath I didn't know I was holding, hating myself for doubting him. He _always_ has my back. "I will not tolerate _anyone_ speaking to a member of this faction's leadership the way that you just spoke to Tris, so if her idea to make you into a _proper_ Dauntless member is too much for you to handle then you can live with the factionless. It's up to you, Hector."

"Fine," he says after a full minute of silence. "I'll take the deal."

"Good," Tobias snarls. Even though I don't think Hector deserves saving, I put my hand on Tobias' Amity tattoo after he takes a step towards the boy, his hands balled into tight fists at his side. I don't want him getting in trouble for hurting the insignificant initiate but instead he lowers his voice and very quietly says, "Know this, screw up once and you're out on your ass. I don't give a damn who you are. And speak to my wife that way again and I'll personally see to it that you never have children because I'll remove your testicles with a teaspoon. Got it?" Hector's eyes widen and he swallows.

"Y-Yes, s-sir," he stammers. Tobias scoffs.

"You don't seem to have a problem giving me the respect I deserve, and I came from Abnegation, too." It's obvious by the look on Hector's face that he wasn't privy to Tobias' secret because I think I could knock him over with a feather at the moment. "All of you get back to work," he shouts and within seconds the sound of gunfire echoes around the room, filling our ears. Part of me wants to run and hide from what just happened but I hold my head high and make my assessment of the remaining Dauntless-born.

"You two are doing a great job with them," I say to Uriah and Christina. They look at me like I'm on peace serum. "What?"

"I've never seen him act that way before in my life," Uriah says. "I could have kicked his ass for speaking to you that way."

"Has he been disrespectful to either of you?" Tobias asks.

"No, he hasn't," Christina says.

"I hate to say it but he just reminded me of Lynn when I first met her," I say. "We didn't exactly hit it off, and it took her a long time to stop calling me _Stiff_. Who knows, maybe she still does when I'm not around." Christina shakes her head but suddenly Uriah won't meet my eyes. "She does, doesn't she?"

"I honestly don't think she does it to be hateful or mean," he says. "I think Stiff is her nickname for you."

"A derogatory one I thought I got rid of when I joined Dauntless," I sigh. "I thought we worked through our differences years ago."

"I'm going to have a talk with her," Tobias growls.

"No, you're not," I say. His intense gaze burns into my eyes. "This is between Lynn and me. Promise you'll stay out of it."

"I can't do that," he says, shaking his head defiantly.

"Yes. You. _Can_ ," I emphatically say. "And you will, Four." He growls and runs a hand through his hair, leaving it sticking out at odd angles. I fight the urge to smooth it into place.

"You're right," he finally says with a sigh. "This is your fight, not mine."

"Thank you," I say then turn to Uriah and Christina. "We better check on Brody and Ana." I look toward the opposite end of the large room and see another transfer being carried out of the training room. "It looks like their initiates are dropping like flies."

"Are you okay?" Tobias quietly asks when we're halfway across the room. "I haven't wanted to kill someone so much since _Hayes_." _Oh my God!_ _That_ is who Hector just reminded me of … Peter. He obviously looks nothing like him but his attitude and arrogance are nearly identical.

"We need to keep an eye on him," I say. "I hope switching him to Brody and Ana's class helps." Something tells me it won't. I hope I didn't just make a huge mistake. He stops and pulls me through the punching bags into the shadows.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I say.

"You're not telling me something," he says, his eyes narrowed examining my face. _Damn_! How does he always do that?

"Not now," I say. "Not here. Later, baby. Okay?" He breathes deeply and exhales, his eyes boring into mine.

"All right," he says. He lowers his mouth towards mine, stops then mutters something unintelligible under his breath right before his lips lightly touch mine. They're gone just as quickly, leaving me longing for more. He puts his hand on my back and leads me to where Brody and Ana are standing by the big green chalkboard.

"Hello," I say. "How are things going?"

"About as expected," Brody says.

"There haven't been any surprises," Ana says. "Except for Oliver." My eyes don't have to search long before they find him. He's standing off by himself, watching the match between two short, thin girls.

"Let me guess, he lost?" I ask.

"How did you know?" Brody asks, dumbfounded. "Look at him! He should easily knock out any person in this room, me included. He took an uppercut to the chin by a guy a third his size and immediately went down. He didn't get back up. I have to be honest, I'm not sure he's right for Dauntless." I hear Tobias sigh, and I look up at him. Something tells me he had similar thoughts about Al.

"I knew someone _just_ like him once," I say.

"You did seem … _startled_ when he was helped out of the net," Ana says. _Is now the time for this story?_ I look toward him again only to find him watching me.

"He reminds me of someone I used to know," is all I say as I tear my eyes from his. Tobias must sense my unease because he steps in front of me, taking me out of Oliver's line of sight. "Before we talk more about the transfers, there's something we need to discuss with you. One of the Dauntless-born is proving to be very difficult. He's disrespectful and thinks he knows it all. He needs a lesson in humility. I've assigned him to you two. He'll live and train with the transfers and report to you tomorrow morning. His name is Hector."

"Okay," Brody says.

"Is there anything else we should know about him?" Ana asks.

"Keep a close watch on him," I say. "His attitude is reminiscent of a transfer in my class."

"Is that what you're keeping from me?" Tobias asks and I give him a dirty look. "Sorry. That was out of line but now that you mention it, he was acting like Peter. Tris is right, keep him on a short leash, and I do mean short, at all times. He's not to socialize with the Dauntless-born, and if he breaks the rules, there will be consequences. He knows this."

"Such as?" Brody says.

"I'm sure you can think of something appropriate," I say. "Now back to the practice fights." Brody and Ana give us a quick overview of what we missed then we watch the final two matches of the day, one of which happens to include Rose. She's paired with a girl whose body type is nearly identical, although she's a few inches shorter. I watch as she effortlessly dances around the ring, landing punch after punch while evading her opponent's fists. She's really good for it being her first fight.

"What's your take on Rose?" Tobias asks Brody and Ana.

"She's a natural," Ana says. "She's taken to the fights just as effortlessly as she has to the firearms. You show her the correct way to do something and she doesn't need shown again."

"And her attitude?" I ask, remembering her inappropriate questions the day we met her. She was definitely all Candor then.

"She does ask a lot of questions but I don't think she's out of line," Brody says. "She takes the information she receives to improve whatever it is she's doing. Honestly, I wish they were all like her." We stand and watch as Rose lands a near picture-perfect combination and knocks her opponent to the mat. The girl tries to get back on her feet but stumbles and lands hard on her right elbow and knee. Rose rushes to her side and offers her a hand, which the girl gladly accepts.

"It looks like you two have everything under control here," I say. "I'm really proud of you." Brody subtly blushes at the compliment and Ana brightly beams.

"Thanks, Tris," she says. "Hey, how's Tyler? I take it he's feeling better or you wouldn't be here."

"He's feeling a lot better. Thanks for asking," I say. "And the girls are completely back to normal and wondering why they have to take medicine since Tyler's the one who's sick." Brody and Ana chuckle as I roll my eyes.

"I love your girls," Brody says with a huge smile on his face. "Do you two officially want to meet the transfers since you didn't get to on Wednesday?" We both nod. "Listen up!" The remaining transfers immediately quiet down and look toward us. "I'm sure you noticed that we have visitors with us this afternoon watching some of your fights. This is Four and Tris, two leaders of Dauntless."

"Tris and I don't make it a habit of interrupting or disrupting training but we wanted to introduce ourselves since we didn't get a chance to on Choosing Day but we won't keep you," Tobias says.

"Since your fights are over, you are free to go for the day," Ana says, garnering smiles from each of the initiates. "Just remember to be here at 8 a.m. sharp tomorrow." I watch as they file out of the training room, and I find myself smiling, too. Tobias steps up beside me, and I feel his eyes on me.

"It's nice to see you smiling, love," he says. "You've been so stressed lately."

"I guess their giddiness is contagious," I say.

"They're a good bunch," Brody says. "We haven't had any trouble with them at all. Now how do you seem to know so much about Oliver, and why did everyone look like they saw a ghost after we helped him out of the net?" It's amazing how quickly my good mood deflates.

"Do we know if he's Al's brother?" I ask Tobias.

"I had Will check Al's file, and he didn't have any siblings," Tobias says. Brody and Ana's confusion seems to deepen right before my eyes.

"Can we grab a cup of coffee?" I ask. "I'll explain everything." The four of us walk to the cafeteria and after grabbing a cup of coffee, we take a seat at our empty table. I wrap my hands around the hot mug and look at Tobias for encouragement. He rests his hand on my knee and squeezes gently. I give him a soft kiss before I begin.

"You guys know that Christina, Will, and I met during our initiation three years ago but what you don't know is that we had a friend … Al. He was from Candor, too. The four of us got really close during the first half of initiation but things started to fall apart for all of us during the fear simulations."

"Tris is unnaturally quick during fear simulations," Tobias explains.

"It put a strain on my friendships," I say. "They became jealous because I was doing so well and making friends outside our circle."

"That's terrible," Ana says, a scowl on her face. "Real friends should stand beside you no matter what."

"There's something you need to remember about Tris' initiation that differed from yours," Tobias says. "There were 20 people fighting for 10 slots. It was every man…"

"And woman," I say.

"Every man and _woman_ for themselves," he finishes, smiling at me affectionately.

"Anyway, I was attacked one evening by three masked men. They threatened to throw me in the chasm and went as far as to dangle me over the railing. I could have died that night but," I give Tobias a loving, appreciative look, "Four saved me." I look back at my friends who are wearing identical masks of terror after I give my husband a quick kiss. "One of the men was Al."

"He was failing," Tobias says. "He wasn't going to make it through initiation, and he knew it. He didn't want to live factionless so he let his fear make him do things he wouldn't normally do."

"He asked for my forgiveness but I just couldn't give it," I say, "which I made perfectly clear. He jumped into the chasm later that day and killed himself." Ana's small hand flies up to cover a gasp. "It took me a very long time to stop blaming myself for his death even though I knew I didn't _make_ him take the coward's way out."

"Oliver reminds you of this Al person?" Brody asks.

"Oliver could _be_ Al," I slowly say. "Their resemblance is uncanny. He looks like him, acts like him, sounds like him, _smells_ like him, and now his training is following the same course. I don't believe in coincidences and something about him bothers me."

"I'm sorry, Tris," Ana says. "Who were the two with Al that night?"

"Drew," they recognize his name immediately, "and Peter Hayes," I say. Ana recognizes the name but Brody is still lost. She leans over and whispers something in his ear and he nods.

"Hector reminds you of Peter?" Tobias asks, saying again what he figured out earlier.

"Yes," I say. "I only realized this _after_ I made him your guys' problem." I look at Brody and Ana apologetically. "Peter was a sadistic sonofabitch who made my life miserable before and, unfortunately, _after_ his death. Hector has the same type of personality, although I doubt Shauna and Lynn would appreciate me saying that."

"Why would they care?" Brody asks.

"He's their younger brother," Tobias says, looking at his watch. "I hate to cut this short, guys, but we need to get home to the kids, and Tris and I have a stop to make first." _We do?_ I wonder what he's up to. "Do you have any other questions for us?"

"None that I can think of," Ana says.

"We'll give you regular updates on Hector's progress," Brody says. "Hopefully, we can turn his attitude around."

"I hope it can be done because I would hate to explain to two good friends why I made their little brother factionless," Tobias sighs. "I'll only offer one more chance after this and that's being very generous."

"Okay," they say in unison. We rise from the table, put our dirty mugs in one of the wash bins on top of the strategically placed trash and recycling center then say our goodbyes.

"Where are we stopping on the way home?" I ask as we exit the cafeteria.

"I thought we'd stop by the pizza parlor and take cheese pizza and breadsticks home so we don't have to cook tonight. Then we can watch a double feature with the kids and later you might want to do that thing with your legs you mentioned earlier," he says with a sexy wink. "What do you say, love?" He takes my hand in his and kisses our laced fingers.

"I say that's the best idea you've had all day."


	7. Chapter 7

Tobias and I stop by the little pizzeria tucked between the busy gunsmith and quirky handmade jewelry store just off the Pit floor. We intend to just get plain cheese pizza for all of us to enjoy but after we walk through the door and the mouth-watering aroma slaps us in the face, I make a quick call to Bridget to check how the kids are feeling. When I hear that they are rambunctious as ever, we decide on pepperoni pizza for them and a gourmet five-cheese thin garlic-bread-type crust pizza for Tobias and me. We also pick up the breadsticks and dipping sauces we all love and a gallon of their specially brewed root beer. I'm not sure what they do to it but it tastes better than anywhere else. After leaving the Pit, bags of food in hand, we slowly make our way up the winding path to the Pire and then finally to our apartment. I open the door and set the bags down on the bench, and the sound of our three children arguing greet our ears.

"Is not!" Tyler yells.

"Is too!" Tessa bitterly says.

"Yeah!" Teagan adds. I push Tobias back out the door, forgetting the bags as I do, and gently close it behind us, hoping they didn't hear us.

"Why did you do that?" he asks, befuddled.

"Is it wrong for me to just want _two_ minutes of peace and quiet before we go back inside?" I ask. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head against his chest. I immediately feel his lips in my hair.

"Look on the bright side, love, at least they're all feeling better," he says with a chuckle and I can't help but join him. He's right but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want a quiet evening at home after the afternoon I had in the training room. I lift my chin and his soft lips tentatively meet mine. We move them together slowly as our hands begin to roam over each other's body. I sigh as the kiss deepens, and he slips his tongue into my mouth and seductively strokes it against mine. I nearly fall into the apartment when the door suddenly opens but, thankfully, Tobias keeps me on my feet.

"I _told_ you they was home, Tess," Tyler says with a superior tone.

"Are you supposed to be opening the door, young man?" I ask.

"But I saw you!" he says. "You came in then you left again." Oops!

"Why you out hewe, Mama?" Tessa asks, her head cocked to one side. Teagan comes toddling up behind her brother and sister and smiles brightly when she sees us.

"They was kissing _again_ ," Tyler sighs, rolling his eyes to the ceiling like his parents kissing is the grossest thing in the world.

All three of them wrinkle their noses, and the girls giggle and say, " _Ew!_ " Not to be deterred, Tobias, who still has his arms wrapped tightly around me takes me by surprise, dipping me low, and kisses me soundly on the lips, causing our kids to sigh, giggle, and sneer. I could see him doing this in the middle of the Pit when they're teenagers just to embarrass the crap out of them. I wouldn't mind though. When he stands me upright, I'm a little dizzy, and it's not from the sudden movement. That man does _amazing_ things with his tongue.

"Do I smell pizza?" Tyler asks, sniffing the air then sticking his head in one of the bags sitting right next to him.

"Pitsa!" Teagan says as her eyes light up.

"Sticks!" Tessa excitedly adds, also rooting around in a bag.

"Yes, we brought home pizza, breadsticks, and root beer," I say as we usher the kids back into the apartment before elbows start getting thrown.

"Yeah!" they all cheer. I can't help but smile at their enthusiasm. Hopefully, they've forgotten whatever it was they were arguing about a moment ago so we can have that quiet evening I was longing for.

"Hi, Bridget," I say to the pretty, middle-aged woman who is standing near the sink, busily putting the clean dishes away as we all walk into the kitchen. Her dark auburn hair is in its usual bun at the base of her skull but a few strands are sticking out haphazardly, indicating it's been a trying day with my kids. She turns her jade eyes my way, and they are very tired. "How were the kids today?"

"Angels," she says but she always says this. I imagine they could burn the apartment down and she'd still say they were angels.

"You look tired," I say. "Are you sure they aren't running you ragged? I could give you a day off."

"That's not necessary at all, dearie," she says. "I stayed up late last night reading a new book. I just couldn't put it down. As a matter of fact, I can't wait to get back home and pick up where I left off."

"Kids, come say goodbye to Bridget," I say. They come running up to her and wrap their arms around her. They love her, and I'm thankful for that. She hands out kisses, hugs, and see you laters then tells us she'll see us on Monday.

"Tyler, Tessa, Teags, go get washed up for dinner," Tobias says and they all sigh dramatically. "If you don't do as I ask, there will be no supper, and you'll go straight to bed." Their eyes widen as they look from their father to me and when I raise my brows they each start to move. Tyler drops the container of ranch dressing he's holding to the floor but thankfully he didn't get the lid off yet so no harm comes to the area rug beneath the table, and he dashes into the empty powder room. When he beats Tessa, he turns and sticks his tongue out at her. He's definitely feeling better.

"I saw that Tyler," I say, giving him a disapproving look.

"Sorry, Tess," he mumbles then he lets her in with him so they can both wash their hands. Teagan struggles to get off the chair she climbed up on and stumbles, bumping her head.

" _Mama!_ " she cries. Tobias reaches her first but when I'm within arm's length she leans over and reaches out for me. I take her, and she rests her head on my shoulder, sobbing quietly.

"You're all right," I say.

"Huwt," she says pointing to the red mark on her forehead. I kiss the booboo, and she smiles through her tears.

"Did Mommy's kiss make it feel better?" Tobias asks her.

"Huwt," she says to him with a huge frown on her face, pointing at it again, indicating that he's supposed to kiss it, too. He leans over and gently places his lips to her forehead, and I reach out and stroke his cheek. He's such a wonderful father. His eyes slide to mine then he gives me a soft kiss.

"Can you go wash your hands now?" I ask and she nods. Tobias and I kiss either side of her head, kissing her stray tears away then I let her down.

"Walk!" we both say at the same time as she runs towards the now empty powder room. It would be like her to bang into the island or something and start crying all over again.

"I'll get everything ready," he says. "Why don't you make sure she doesn't really hurt herself?"

"Okay," I say. He kisses my temple then I rescue our daughter just as the stepstool she's standing on tips over.

"Oh!" she says, wide eyed.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah!" she giggles. I carry her out into the dining room once her hands are dry and sit her in her booster seat. "Poni pitsa peas!"

"One slice of pepperoni pizza coming right up," I say. I get her a slice of pizza and one breadstick and cut them up into bite sized pieces.

"Tanks!"

"You're welcome," I say as I kiss her head. I sit in between Tessa and Tobias and grab a couple slices myself. I'm famished.

"Mommy, Daddy, can I tell you something?" We nod, looking at him. "I want a baby brother," Tyler matter-of-factly says, making me sputter and spit out the bite I just took.

"Are you all right?" Tobias asks as he pats my back.

"Yeah," I say as I finally catch my breath. _Brother?_ _Where is this coming from?_

"No!" Tessa yells, her hands on her hips. "I wanna sistew."

"Bebe seeter, _peas_!" Teagan pleads. I _think_ she's siding with Tessa on this issue, although I'm not 100% sure. She's not the easiest child to understand.

"Whoa!" Tobias says, holding his hands out in front of him. "Who said anything about having a baby?" He looks at me and says, "Did you forget to tell me something, Tris?"

"No," I chuckle. "Believe me, you would be the first to know. Why are you three asking about baby brothers and sisters?

"I want a baby brother," Tyler mutters, glaring at his sisters. "It's not fair Tess has a baby sister."

"I … not … _bebe_ ," Teagan frowns.

"You're Mommy's baby," I softly say, knowing what her reaction will be and sure enough, she shakes her head.

"I big giwl."

"I forgot," I say. "You're Mommy's big girl just like Tessa."

"See!" Tyler pouts. "I want a brother who _I_ can play with. He could come into my room whenever he wanted and everything. I wouldn't even yell at him." _Yeah right!_

"You have what Tessa has," Tobias says. Tyler looks up at him skeptically. "You have a younger sister. As a matter of fact, you have _two_ younger sisters. Tessa and Teags neither one can say that."

"That not the same," he pouts. "When can I have a brother?"

"It doesn't work that way," I say. "If Mommy were to have a baby it could just as easily be a girl. You could end up with _countless_ baby sisters."

"Yeah!" Tessa and Teagan say, clapping their hands. Tyler frowns at me so I look at Tobias and beg for help with my eyes.

"What Mommy means is that even if we were to have a baby, it won't automatically be a boy," he says. "It could be a girl." _That's exactly what I just said._ Tyler looks up at us with light shining in his eyes like he just thought of the greatest idea ever.

"Can you adopt me a brother?" he asks. _Dear Lord!_ I think I'd rather have him ask me for a puppy.

"No, we aren't adopting any other children," Tobias says, shaking his head.

"Why not?" he whines.

"Tyler, what brought this on?" I ask. "Did something happen today?" He shrugs his shoulders, which he's really becoming an expert at.

"It's just … Tess always has someone to play with," he says. "I don't."

"You could play with Tessa and Teags," I say. He looks at me like I've quite possibly gone mad and will be escorted off in a straightjacket at any moment. "It's not against the law to play with your sisters."

"But they like … _girl_ stuff," he says, disgustedly. _Oh, the horror of it!_ "They never want to play dinosaurs, cars, or army men." Unless he's not looking, that is, and then they can't stay out of his toys.

"Girls, would you like to play with Tyler?" Tobias asks. They look at each other.

"No," they say in unison. So much for help from the peanut gallery.

"Why can't you adopt me a brother," he says, pouting. "I'll love him and take care of him and he can sleep in my room." I swear he's giving us the same speech he gives us when he asks for a puppy, which at the moment I'm inclined to give him. If he says he'll feed his brother and walk him, I swear I _will_ lose it.

"You and Tessa are extra special and so easy to love that's why we _chose_ to be your mommy and daddy," Tobias says. "We aren't going to adopt anyone else. I'm sorry." Tyler thinks about this for a moment, and I can almost see the wheels turning in his mind.

"You choosed me and Tess?" he asks.

"Yes, we chose to be your mommy and daddy," I say. "We adopted you. You know this."

"So, you didn't want Teags?" Tyler innocently asks and Teagan frowns at him, rightfully so. As horrible as that sounds, I know he's not being malicious.

"Mommy and Daddy wanted Teagan very much," I say. "We loved her the minute we knew she was going to be born."

"She's just as special to us as you are," Tobias says.

"Is that why she was in your tummy, Mommy?" he asks.

"Hew was in you tummy?" Tessa says, aghast. "You eat hew?" Her eyes are as wide as saucers.

"No, I didn't eat her," I say, trying to hide my amusement. She doesn't like it when I laugh at something cute she says because she thinks I'm laughing at her, which couldn't be farther from the truth. "Babies come out of Mommy's tummies."

"How hew get in tummy?"

"Bebe tumtum?" Teagan asks, with her hands held beside her head as if to say, where is it?

"You were in Mommy's tummy but there is no baby there now," I say. _How did we get to talking about this?_ "Mommy and Daddy's love put Teagan in my tummy." I sure hope this is enough of an explanation for now.

"Is your love going to put another baby in you tummy 'cause … I want a brother?" Tyler asks and both girls bob their heads up and down excitedly in agreement.

"Someday," I say at the exact same time Tobias says, "Probably not." _Whoa_! My eyes meet his, and I realize we have a problem that I didn't know exists … a _big_ problem. He doesn't want any more babies with me? What changed? This can't just be about the preeclampsia scare with Teagan. I push my plate away, suddenly not hungry anymore and watch Tobias do the same. The rest of the meal is quiet as the kids enjoy their now cold pizza and breadsticks but they don't seem to mind and there's no more talk of baby brothers or sisters … thankfully.

"Who wants to watch a movie?" Tobias sullenly asks after we finish supper and the leftovers are put away.

"Me, me, me!" Three little arms go up as they jump around excitedly.

"Can you guys do me a favor?" I ask. They all look up at me and nod. "Can you agree on what movie to watch?" They start spouting titles one right after another, and I'm not sure they'll ever agree.

"If you can't decide, I'll be forced to choose and there's a documentary on athlete's foot I've been dying to see," Tobias says. I don't know how he does it but he manages to say that with a straight face, and within two minutes we're gathered on the couch watching _Finding_ _Nemo_.

I usually really enjoy this movie but my heart just isn't in it tonight. All around me is laughter and joy, and I feel like a dark, suffocating shroud has enveloped me. I let my mind drift back to my many conversations with Tobias about children over the course of our relationship. I didn't even know I wanted kids until I fell in love with him. I remember being so scared when he first brought up the idea of adopting Tessa. I thought of every reason under the sun why we shouldn't do it. I thought he was nuts. Now I can't imagine my life without her. I remember being terrified when Zander told us that we were going to have a baby of our own. I wasn't ready. It wasn't the right time. But he helped me through my abject terror and little Miss Teagan Grace is the best of both of us. I remember when Tyler called me Mommy for the first time and tears wet my eyes, blurring the picture on the screen that I quite honestly didn't know I was still looking at. That should have been one of the happiest days of my life but instead the city tried to take my son from me and my world fell apart. I thank God every day that Ellie Black grew a backbone and I could officially call Tyler my son. I have them all because of Tobias, and I'm thankful but now he's taking the possibility of more away just like that, no discussion, no nothing.

The end credits roll and I plaster a fake smile on my face so my kids won't see that I'm upset. I notice that three sets of eyes are drooping. They must have played hard today after resting the two previous days, so another movie is out of the question tonight. I help the girls into Tobias' arms, being careful to avoid his gaze. I know that we have a lot to talk about but now isn't the time. As he carries the girls upstairs, I give Tyler his third dose of antibiotic for the day then carry him up to bed.

"Mommy?" he asks after I've helped him into his pajamas and tucked him in.

"Yeah, Buddy?"

"Are you okay?" he softly asks. "You seem … sad."

"I'm just tired," I say, my voice wavering slightly. Tobias and I try not to let the kids see us as anything other than a united front. Our problems, big or small, should never be their problems. "It's been a very long, stressful day."

"Was it wrong to ask for a brother?" he asks.

"No, it wasn't," I say, sweeping his bangs off his forehead and out of his eyes. He needs a haircut, too. "It never hurts to ask for what you want but you don't always get what you ask for, which is a tough lesson to learn sometimes. How you handle the disappointment shapes you into the person you will grow up to be. Is there a reason besides Tessa having a little sister that makes you want to have a baby brother? I know what you said earlier but if there's another reason you can tell me."

"I want my own Teags," he says with a pout. _Aha!_ He's jealous. I'm surprised it's taken this long.

"My sweet boy," I say. "Tessa and Teagan are really, really close in age. That's why they are so close. They're practically twins. Everybody knows that! If Mommy and Daddy gave you a baby brother today, how much older than him would you be?" He looks at me confused. "How old are you?"

"Four," he states.

"That's right. You would be at least four whole years older than him. Do you really think that in two years when you are six and in school with all kinds of friends that you would want your 2-year-old little brother hanging around all the time no matter how much you love him? How do you feel about Tessa and Teags coming into your room?"

"They break my stuff," he says overdramatically.

"Do you think a little brother wouldn't just because he's a boy?"

"I don't know," he says.

"Little brothers can be just as annoying as little sisters. I know, I have one," I say and he giggles. "How are you feeling? Is your tummy better?"

"Mm-hm," he says. "My ears and throat don't hurt no more either."

"I'm so glad to hear that," I say. "I love you, my sweet boy," I lean in and give him a goodnight kiss, "to the moon and back."

"Love you to the moon and back," he says around a yawn then he reaches out and gives me a big hug. "Is it okay if I still want a baby brother, Mommy?"

"Of course, it is. Sleep tight, buddy," I say. I kiss him again, make sure his nightlight is on then head to my bedroom. _I'd love nothing more than to give you a baby brother, Tyler Aaron._

"I was afraid of that," Tobias softly says, making me jump. I had no idea he was around.

"What?"

"I could tell by the sick look on your face earlier that you want another baby," he says. "Tris … love … you know we can't ever have another child."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say, slightly confused and more than a little hurt hearing out loud what I sensed was running through his mind.

"You just said you'd love nothing more than to give Tyler a baby brother." _I did?_ I walk past him, not ready to talk yet, and into the nursery. I kiss Teagan and Tessa's heads after tucking them in then make sure the baby monitor is turned on. I softly close the door behind me then look up at my husband. I need time to get my scattered thoughts in order.

"I need some air," I say. I grab the receiver off the nightstand and head up to our rooftop oasis. I have no idea if he follows or not and right now, I simply don't care. I stand at the edge of the roof behind the line of planters, staring out at the lit cityscape thinking about what might never be.

"The sad truth is that if our son hadn't asked a simple question we'd be downstairs making love right now," Tobias says from right behind me.

"What's the point of making love if we're never going to have any more children?" I coldly ask.

"Wow," he says. I can hear the thick disapproval in his voice. "Can we at least _talk_ about this?"

"Haven't you already made up your mind?" I ask, trying to control my runaway emotions. I feel irrational tears pricking the back of my eyelids.

"Yeah, I guess I have," he says after a long, silent pause. "But you have, too."

"Then what's the point of talking?" He sighs loudly and cusses under his breath. I hear his footfalls as he walks away but then he stops and stomps back to me. He grabs my arm and whirls me around.

"We _are_ going to talk about this, Tris. I'm not going to let you push me away," he angrily says. I take a deep breath, knowing that he's right.

"Fine," I mutter. He releases my arm and I instinctively rub the sore spot where his fingertips dug into me. I walk past the fire pit and sit down on the rattan loveseat, and he sits next to me. "This is _our_ family, right?" I spit, catching him off guard.

"Of course, it is," he says, defensively.

"What gives you the right to make unilateral decisions for us then?" I ask, pain obvious in my voice. "I'm glad Tyler asked the question. It made me realize just exactly what I want."

"You want another baby," he says. I take his face between my palms and stare deeply into his eyes, looking for what I don't know.

"I want what you promised when you proposed to me down in the chasm," I say. "'I want to make love with you and have that love turn into a house full of children.' Isn't that what you said?"

"Yes, but that was before I knew what I know now. If I did, I'd never have made that vow," he says. "You know how much I love Teagan. She's my little mini-you, my princess. I'm proud to be her Daddy but being pregnant with her put a terrible strain on your body. I don't know why I can't get that through to you. You. Could. Have. _Died_. I could have lost you … _and_ her. Tyler and Tessa could have lost their mother."

"I am _fine_ ," I implore. "I'm right here, baby."

"But if you get pregnant again, the risk would be even greater, and if I lost you because of something _I_ did, I don't know how I would survive."

" _If, if, if,_ " I mutter. "We don't know there would be problems."

"And we don't know there wouldn't be either," he sighs, just as frustrated with me as I am with him. "I love you, Beatrice Grace Eaton, don't you get that? And I've nearly lost you so many times that I've lost count. You walked out on me when you found out about Evelyn; we're lucky we were able to move past that. Cameron gave you death serum … _death_ _serum, Tris_ ; technically, love, you shouldn't be here right now. My father and Peter kidnapped you and gave you memory serum; we're lucky it only made you sick. It could have erased us forever. That crazy doctor shot you; luckily, it was just a flesh wound. I hate to think what could have happened if he had better aim. Drew injected you with the Frankenstein serum that killed so many others; thankfully, you were able to fight it off and return to me. Olivia stabbed you, which left you in the hospital for _weeks_. She nearly killed you; I thank God every day you made a full recovery."

"I understand where you're coming from. I really do. You don't want anything bad to happen to me because you love me, and I love you, too … so much," I softly say. "But I want you to at least _seriously_ consider us having a baby. I think you owe that to me."

"We have three kids already, Tris," he says. "Isn't that enough?"

"There's a logical part of me that says, yes, I should be satisfied with what I have and that I'm being selfish right now for putting my own wants and needs above yours," I say. "But what if you're the one who's being selfish by taking away the possibility." We stare into each other's eyes, at an impasse. "What do we do now?"

"I don't know, love," he says. He puts his arm around me and pulls me close. "I don't know."


	8. Chapter 8

I sit on the outdoor loveseat with my arms wrapped tightly around Tobias and my head resting on his hard chest. My naked feet are tucked underneath me as I stare into the blue and orange flames in the fire pit as they lightly dance on the gentle, warm summer breeze. We haven't said a single word to each other in about an hour. He's leaving me to my thoughts, and I'm leaving him to his but I'm not sure it's a good thing. We should be talking about this but with us both so steadfast in our decisions, a conversation could devolve into a fight, and I know neither of us want that.

"You really don't want another baby with me?" I quietly ask, my voice small, finally breaking the deafening silence. When he doesn't answer, I unwrap myself from his embrace and sit cross-legged next to him. He turns his body and rests his arm on the back of the loveseat behind me so we can look each other in the eye. I watch him struggle with his answer.

"Not if it puts your life at risk, love," he finally says, "no."

"Tobias, I love how much you love me but you do realize that I put my life at risk on a daily basis just by walking out our front door," I say then chuckle humorlessly. "We live in a faction where we routinely jump on and off _trains_."

"If you died jumping on a train it wouldn't be my fault," he says. "If you died because I got you pregnant, I couldn't live with myself."

"I know you," I say as I reach out and caress his stubbled chin. "If something were to happen to me, you would find a way to blame yourself no matter what."

"You do have a point there. I'll give you that," he says with a sigh.

"We aren't getting anywhere, are we?"

"Not really," he says. "Tell me something, have you been thinking about this a lot lately? You haven't said a single word about wanting another baby until today."

"Not a lot but every once in a while, it would cross my mind," I say. "I think about another baby each time one of the girls reaches a milestone but until today, I thought it was just too soon. But when I got to thinking about it during the movie, I realized now is the perfect time. Tyler would be 5, Tessa would be 3, and Teagan would be 2 if we got pregnant right away." I sigh knowing that I might never get to hold another baby who has his or her father's eyes and tears well up in mine. I reach up and wipe them away before they can fall, hoping to hide them from him but I fail.

"I hate not giving you what you want the moment you ask for it," he says, pain audible in his voice as he cups my cheek and wipes the dampness away with his thumb. I can't help but lean into his palm. "It tears my heart out, love. I never want to see pain in your eyes put there by me like there is now."

"But?" I say, sensing he has more to say.

"I can't get past the fact that having another baby puts your life at risk," he says. "You're right, we live in such unpredictable times. You don't know how much I want to just lock you and the kids away so that I know you'll always be safe. I wouldn't survive without you. Maybe you forgot about my worst fear." Images of that gut-wrenching fear landscape play in my mind like a bad movie and I shudder.

"I haven't forgotten," I say. "I lived it, too."

"Then how could you want to take yourself away from me, away from the kids?"

"I don't," I emphatically say. "Do you really think that?" He stares into my eyes with an intensity I don't quite understand.

"What I can't wrap my head around is that you know what could happen but you're willing to take the risk. Do you find something … _missing_ in our life? I thought we were happy, Tris."

"I _am_ happy, Tobias. _We_ are happy. Never _ever_ doubt that," I say, leaning up and softly pressing my lips to his. We sigh into each other's mouths before I pull away. "I have a wonderful, hectic, fulfilling, chaotic life that I find myself loving more and more each day. I have the three most beautiful, loveable, smart, funny children who keep me on my toes. I can't describe the depth of my feelings for them but I knew I would never be the same the moment you gently laid Tessa in my arms. I felt unconditional love for the first time in that moment. And then there's you." I caress his cheek and smile warmly at the man I vowed to love for the rest of my life, in good times and bad and I do. "Each day I wake up more in love with you than the last and wonder how in the world I got so lucky. You are the other half of my heart, baby, and I thank God each day that he led me to you. I don't want to have another baby because something is missing, Tobias. I want another baby to add to the joy we already have. I think _that's_ a risk worth taking." He looks at me for a moment then turns his eyes to the fire pit. I watch him watch the dancing flames and wonder what he's thinking about. When I can no longer stand the silence I say, "You're awfully quiet. I don't want this silence to turn into a rift between us."

"I'm thinking about what you just said," he murmurs, still not looking my way. "You're right, our life if damned near perfect, and I've never been happier." His deep indigo eyes finally meet mine, and his emotions are unreadable, which sets my heart to racing in my chest. "Each night after we kiss goodnight, I watch you sleep and wonder how I'll ever be able to love you more than I do in that moment but unbelievably the next night … I do." He glides the backs of his knuckles up my jawline, leaving a trail of heat on my sensitive skin. "You are hands down the best thing that ever happened to me, and I will do everything in my power to keep you _safe_ , happy, satisfied, and loved each day of our lives.

"Not only am I blessed to have you as my wife but my children are extremely fortunate to have you as their mother. As you know, I didn't have the best role models growing up. Because of that, I really didn't know what a mother or a father was supposed to look like, how they were supposed to act, and how they were supposed to love." The breeze picks up a bit and blows my hair across my face, and he reaches across the open space and lovingly tucks it behind my ears. "But because of you, my kids will never know anything other than a kind word and a gentle touch," his bottom lips quivers and moisture glistens in his eyes, "and for that you have no idea how grateful I am. I can see where you're coming from now."

"Are you saying we can try to have a baby?" I ask, trying not to get my hopes up.

"What I'm saying is that I'll think about it and really consider your wishes," he says. "It's the best I can promise right now. I may understand but I still don't agree." It's better than the straight out no I got earlier. I throw myself into his arms and knock him back on the loveseat, landing on top of him. My lips find his, and I kiss him passionately.

"I promise to consider your feelings, too," I pant against his mouth as my fingers fist into his hair. I feel his hands run the length of my back again and again, never settling in one place. "I love that you're willing to think about it."

"I can tell," he murmurs, never taking his lips off mine. I suddenly pull away and stare down at him.

"I am _so_ sorry, Tobias," I say and confusion fills his features. "I'm sorry that this evening hasn't turned out the way either of us expected. I'm sorry that I walked away from you. I'm sorry about the crack about making love; that was totally uncalled for and juvenile. I'm sorry that I hurt you." He manages to sit us both upright, and I wrap my arms around his neck as he rests his hands on my hips. "I know I should have just talked to you instead of walking away to get some air. I just needed time to think, and sometimes I have a hard time thinking straight when I'm around you. I know it sounds like an excuse but it's the truth." He takes a deep breath then exhales slowly.

"I hate when you walk away from our problems. Up here," he touches his temple, "I know you're not running away from _me_ but here," he touches his heart, "it feels like you're abandoning me when I need you the most." His words are like a rusty knife to my aching heart.

"My first inclination is to get as far away as possible from whatever stressful situation I'm facing. I'm not sure why and I'm not sure it will ever change," I say, forcing myself to look in his sad eyes, although it's the hardest thing I've had to do today. "This may sound horrible but most of the time your feelings don't even cross my mind when I walk away. I'm just trying to gather my thoughts. But if I'm being completely honest there are times that I know exactly what I'm doing and I want to hurt you as much as you're hurting me." Silent tears stream down my face. "I'm so sorry, Tobias. Using your … _insecurities_ against you is unforgivable." He touches his forehead to mine and closes his eyes.

"The next time we argue, love, remember how you're feeling right now so maybe you _will_ consider my feelings and think twice before walking away from me," he says. Shit! I hurt him … bad.

"I didn't mean to hurt you by telling you that," I say.

"Never apologize for telling me the truth, love," he says. "I understand the need to think. We all need to think through situations from time to time, especially tough ones. I just wish you would tell me that you need a few minutes to think instead of just walking away. Not only does it piss me off but it hurts."

"I'm really sorry," I murmur. "I love you so much and hurting you is the last thing I want to do."

"It's been a rough evening," he says.

"Yes, it has," I say. "Is there something I can do to make it up to you?" The corners of his lips twitch, trying to hide a smile and he clears his throat.

"I could think of a couple things … _if_ you're in the mood," he huskily says.

"Oh, I'm definitely in the mood," I say. He wraps his arms around me, and I tighten my embrace around his neck. Just as my lips meet his in a fiery kiss, my stomach grumbles loudly, and he pulls his mouth from mine and laughs his deep belly laugh I love, which I didn't think I would be hearing tonight.

"I better get you some food," he says. "You're going to need all your strength tonight." Desire blooms deep in my belly at his casual comment, and I know that we're fine … for now. He lowers his hands and grasps my backside roughly. He startles me a bit when he goes to stand. I grasp my arms tighter around his neck and wrap my legs firmly around his waist then he carries me to the kitchen, his lips moving leisurely with mine the entire way. He deposits me on the island and peels himself from my embrace after a particularly enthusiastic kiss that leaves us both breathless.

"What are you going to fix me?" I ask as I stare at my husband's perfect, tight butt as he leans over looking in the refrigerator. He clears his throat and I meet his eyes, which are focused on me.

"Do you like what you see?" he smirks, causing me to blush from head to toe.

"You know I love you in the kitchen," I murmur. He shakes his head.

"How about bacon macaroni and cheese?" he says, pulling a covered baking dish out. My stomach growls again and my mouth waters remembering the delectable comfort food he made last night.

"Sounds wonderful," I say as I hop down to my feet. "What can I help you with?" He glances over his shoulder, giving me a disapproving look. He puts the dish on the counter then turns back to me.

"You sit here," he says as he puts me back on the island. I grab him and pull him to me.

"I love you," I say.

"I love you," he says. It's obvious he means what he's saying. The proof is shining back at me in his eyes. "Let me get you some food."

"Are you going to eat with me?" I ask as he dishes up a generous portion and puts it in the microwave on high.

"Yeah. I didn't eat much earlier either."

"I noticed," I say somewhat somberly.

"Hey," he says and my eyes meet his. "No more discussing, fighting, or talking about babies tonight. I promised I would think about it."

"I appreciate that," I say as I give him a quick peck. "That's not what I was thinking about though. We have the power to really hurt each other, don't we?"

"I swear, you're the only person who could ever truly hurt me, love," he says.

"Do we give each other too much power over the other?" He furrows his brows at me then finally his face smoothes out.

"I don't think so," he says. "We just love each other. I'm sorry I hurt you. I _hate_ when I'm the one who causes you pain. I'd rather tear out my own heart than put tears in your eyes." He's lowering his mouth to mine when the microwave timer buzzer indicates our late-night snack is warm and he closes his eyes and cusses. He moves his mouth to my ear and says, "I can't wait to get my hands on you," which takes my breath away.

"I can't wait either," I murmur. He gets the mac and cheese out and sets it down beside me then gets two forks out of the drawer and hands me one. When I go to take a bite, he slides the bowl out of my reach and frowns.

"What are you doing?" I can't help the way I look at him.

"What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm getting a bite," I say. He shakes his head, never taking his eyes off mine and stabs some pasta onto his fork then holds it out in front of me. He puckers his beautiful lips and blows on it, cooling it so I don't burn my tongue, and I suddenly find myself aching badly for him. I squeeze my thighs together firmly and squirm a little but it does nothing to relieve this throbbing want. Keeping my eyes on his, I open my mouth, and he slides the forkful in and gives me the bite. I moan as the comforting flavors explode on my tongue. I can't get enough of the smoky cheese and salty bacon. He's such a damn good cook. I need to remember to thank Hana for teaching him so well. I pick up my fork, now knowing what he expects and while I swallow my bite down, I spoon up a little for him. I hold it up in front of my pursed lips, and as I blow the steam away, his eyes dilate nearly onyx in the dim kitchen light. We take turns feeding each other small bites. We say nothing, we just enjoy the erotic electricity buzzing about in the air as we continue the snack.

There's something about him in the kitchen that does strange things to my libido. I want him, and I want him now and he's not even cooking. I set my fork in the nearly empty bowl and hop down from the island. I take Tobias' fork from him and toss it with mine then I very boldly lift my shirt up and take it off over my head. His eyes bug out for a moment as he stares at my nearly naked chest then he finally catches up with my mood. I'm not waiting any longer. He very slowly moves his fingers to the hem of his tight-fitting shirt and works it up his body. I watch as first his sculpted abs, then his chiseled torso, his well-defined pecks, and finally his strong shoulders are revealed to my greedy eyes. He tosses his shirt down with mine and I pounce. The garment barely leaves his fingertips as I throw myself in his arms.

"Let's go to bed," he murmurs against my neck as my fingers furiously work the buttons of his button fly jeans. His hard bulge pulsates below my nimble fingers and my breath hitches in my throat.

"Oh no, baby," I say as I place sporadic kisses on his bare chest, not recognizing the hedonistic tone of my own voice. "I want you right here in the kitchen." He growls as I slide his tight-fitting jeans and tiny boxer briefs over his lean hips, freeing his hard length. He leans over and works them the rest of the way off with my help then kicks them to the side. I take a step back and admire my virile man who is now standing in all his naked glory in the middle of my kitchen and desire spears through to my core. I dart my tongue out and quickly wet my parched lips as I stare at him in the subtle white glow coming from the single bulb above the stove. "You're perfect, Tobias Eaton." I'm not sure why but my voice sounds pained. "I want you … _so_ much."

"You've got me, love," he murmurs, his voice full of want. I close the short distance between us then slowly sink to my knees before him, not taking my eyes off his.

"I want to taste you, baby." I take him in my hand, my gaze never leaving his, and lick up his still stiffening shaft with the very tip of my tongue from root to tip. I don't know how he can get any harder or fuller but he does. He moans loudly as I continue my intimate assault. I smile up at him and kiss his manhood tenderly, easily running my tight fist up and down his length with the aid of my wet kisses. He whispers a hushed expletive then drags me up his body until I'm in his arms and his mouth is hungrily devouring mine, his tongue continually darting between my parted lips to taste mine. "I wasn't done," I pout.

"I need to be inside you right now," he says as his hands make quick work of my jeans and panties. I reach up and unhook my black lacy bra and toss it away just before he lifts me onto the island. The cold quartz sends a shiver down my spine or maybe it's the feel of his expert hands on me. He steps between my wide spread legs and pulls my body to his. As his talented tongue makes sweet love to my mouth I forget all my problems. I forget everything but the feel of his loving hands as they gently slide up and down my back, his hot breath mingling with mine as his gifted tongue glides effortlessly along mine, and his throbbing hardness pressing against my leg. He reaches between us and very slowly and very carefully inserts one long finger into my dripping womanhood. He mutters something that sounds like a prayer as he removes his finger from my most tender flesh and replaces it with his rigid shaft.

He very slowly guides himself inside me inch by incredible inch then stills. He slides the rough tips of his fingers up the sides of my body and then into my hair. He tilts my head just so then his mouth, once again, finds mine. I rest my hands on his hips as we move our lips together slowly at first but it doesn't take long for the passion to bubble up. He nibbles lightly on my bottom lip, making me gasp and as he thrusts his tongue between my parted lips, he begins to move inside me. I rock my hips in rhythm with his, clenching around his impressive length as he drives into me and releasing as he withdraws. He kisses his was down my neck as he pushes into me harder and faster, reading what my body wants perfectly. I wrap my arms around his neck, tangle my fingers in his hair, and throw my head back, giving him unfettered access to my neck and chest.

He suddenly pulls out of me, and I can't help my whine. I absolutely hate the empty feeling he leaves behind. He pulls me down off the island and turns me away from him. He puts his large hand in the center of my back and bends me over as he buries himself in my depths in one swift motion, causing me to cry out in pleasure. He doesn't remain still this time and starts a very satisfying rhythm. I grasp the countertop firmly with both hands and eagerly push back on every one of his calculated thrusts, feeling the familiar race toward some unobtainable summit. He wraps his body around mine and kisses my hair, neck, shoulders, and back as one hand massages a swaying breast and the other finds my throbbing nubbin.

"Oh God!" I hiss between clenched teeth as he roughly rubs the sensitive bundle of nerves in time with our frenzied thrusts. "Baby, I need to see you." The words are barely decipherable but he stops, pulls out of me, drags us to the floor, and I climb on top of him. I reach down and put him at my moist entrance, and he effortlessly slides into me, immediately picking up where we left off. I keep my eyes on his as I ride him hard, my release fast approaching. He suddenly sits up so we are nose to nose, and I wrap myself around him as I drag his mouth to mine. He kisses me with an unrelenting hunger I don't recognize as his hands help me move up and down his impressive length. I pull away and toss my head back, his name on my lips as the first wave of indescribable pleasure rockets through my writhing body. He continues thrusting up into me as I spasm and shudder and clench and shake. He finally buries his head in my hair, thrusts into me just so setting off a whole new round of earth-quaking pleasure, and laments my name over and over as he releases himself inside of me. _Damn that was good!_ After I can move, I sit back a little and look him in the eye. He moves a hand up into my hair and kisses me softly. It's a strange departure from the passionate kisses he was giving me seconds before. "I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, Tris," he says. He hugs me tightly to him, and I feel him stir to life inside me. _Again!_ Lucky me. I kiss his shoulder and chest then trace my name over his heart while he's busy kissing me everywhere and stroking my back gently. "What's this, love?" he murmurs. I look at his face to see what he's talking about and suddenly his entire body tenses. He roughly pulls out of me, making me cry out and turns my right arm so he can see it better in the dim light emanating from above the stove.

"What are you looking at?" I look at my arm then up at him. My heart sinks when I see the tortured look on his beautiful face. "Baby, what is it?" I look back to my arm and finally see what it is he's seeing … four evenly spaced fingertip bruises from where he grabbed me earlier. _Fuck!_


	9. Chapter 9

Oh, shit! This is _not_ good. _Not_. _Good_. Tobias is staring at the line of pale purple bruises on my upper right arm with wide eyes and an agonized expression. Although he's no longer buried deeply inside me, I'm still straddling his naked hips, and I can feel the tension rolling off of him in waves. I know better than to make light of this situation but I don't know what to say to make things better so instead of saying anything, I sit mute staring into his handsome face, holding my breath and … _waiting_. After a full two minutes, he roughly moves me off his lap and gets up. I blow out the breath I'm still holding and gasp in lungful's of much-needed oxygen to appease my screaming lungs. As I watch him pulling on his jeans, panic blooms deep in my chest.

"What are you doing?" My voice is soft, uncertain. His wide, wild eyes meet mine for a split second. He looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. "Baby, we can work this out. Just talk to me."

"I hurt you." Oh, God! I was afraid that's what he would think. _So_ _not_ _good_. What do I say to that? I can't deny the bruises. I finally drag myself up off the floor, and as I watch him pull his shirt on over his head, the anxiety in my chest raises to a new level.

"You didn't hurt me, Tobias," I adamantly say.

"Don't patronize me, Tris," he angrily says, raising his voice, although he's not quite yelling at me. "I have eyes. I can see the bruises." His eyes dart to my arm and agony flashes on his face. "I'm no better than my piece of shit father." I gasp. That couldn't be farther from the truth but the minute I saw what he saw, I knew where his thoughts would take him. Becoming Marcus Eaton has always been one of his greatest fears. I grab my basic black tee off the floor and slide it on over my head and am immediately thankful that it covers the burgeoning bruises. _Oh, God! What are they going to look like tomorrow?_ I shake off the worrisome thought as he starts pacing back and forth, his eyes on the floor. It's hard to believe he's the same man that not five minutes ago brought me to multiple delicious orgasms. He's running his hand through his tousled hair then he abruptly stops. He brings his eyes to mine and for the first time in a very long time I can't see through his Four mask to decipher what exactly it is he's thinking. "I need some time to think, Tris. Can you give me that time?" His cold, distant voice is worse than a hard punch to the gut. Can I give him what he wants right now? Can I give him space? I don't think I can.

"Please don't leave me," I say, my voice panicky and needy. "Just talk to me, Tobias … _please_." He hangs his head low, shaking it slowly back and forth.

"I've got to go, Tris," he says. "I need to think and I can't do that here." I'm suddenly transported back to the morning shortly after he rescued me from Peter, the only time he's ever walked out on me. I can't breathe. And for the second time in my life he turns his back on me to walk away.

" _No_! Don't leave me!" I scream at the top of my lungs, feeling a vulnerability I've never felt before. _What if he doesn't come back?_ Tears roll down my face uncontrollably. He stops in his tracks, his body stiff with tension but he doesn't turn my way. "You don't get to walk away from me. You didn't do anything wrong, Tobias. Please don't go. Talk to me, baby."

"I. Need. Time," he says, each word clipped and unfeeling. I follow him as he heads toward the door.

"You don't have to do this," I plead, hoping something I say gets through to him. His hand stills on the doorknob. "Right now, we don't have a problem. I know you think we do but we really don't but, baby, if you walk out that door, things may never be the same again." He turns his head to the side like he's going to look at me but he doesn't. "If you won't think about me, think about the kids," comes out barely above a whisper. I think I've finally broken through when he puts his hands on his hips but instead he shakes his head.

"I'm sorry, Tris. I need some time."

Tobias opens the door and walks out, shutting it behind him softly. I start to run after him but two things occur to me at once: Firstly, I have three sleeping kids upstairs I can't just leave alone to chase their father all around the compound and, secondly, I'm still naked from the waist down. I don't need to give Zeke and the control room workers another peep show.

I slide down the smooth wall just inside my front door and wrap my arms tightly around myself and rest my forehead on my knees. I rock back and forth as unrelenting sobs wrack my body, longing for Tobias' strong arms to comfort me. This has been the absolute day from hell. What else could possibly go wrong? I try to catch my breath but it's only coming in short, shallow pants. _Is this what dying feels like?_ After a few minutes, the uncontrollable panic diminishes, the tears stop, and I pull myself together. I go back to the kitchen, trying not to think of our earlier extracurricular activities, and hurriedly pull my jeans back up my body, forgoing the scattered undergarments, which I pick up and put in the laundry.

My mind races trying to figure out what to do. Should I find someone to watch the kids and go after him, or should I give him the time and space he asked for? I nearly pace a rut in the dining room floor as I weigh the pros and cons of each idea for what seems like hours but in reality, only about five minutes pass. I decide the best thing to do for now is to honor his wishes and give him a couple hours to think things through. If he's not home then, I'll go after him.

My heavy legs trudge up the stairs so I can check on the kids because I got quite loud begging him not to go but they're sound asleep in the middle of their beds. I kiss each one, fighting back tears the entire time, and tuck them in for the second time in a matter of hours. When I'm satisfied they're all right, I go back down to our living room and lower myself into the club chair and stare at the taunting, closed front door and think.

How do I make him see that this is nothing to get so riled up over? Yes, he grabbed me during our argument, which is not right but his touch has been rougher than that when we make love. I'm really surprised he left bruises. I get up and go into the little powder room tucked under the stairs to inspect what my arm looks like in brighter light. Maybe he's blowing this whole think out of proportion. I lift the sleeve of my shirt and study the bruise and I gasp. It's worse than I thought. It's not just four fingerprint bruises, it's his whole damn hand wrapped around my arm.

" _Shit!_ " I mutter, tears streaming down my face once again. No wonder he reacted the way he did. He lived with a father who beat his mother, who beat _him_. I don't know what putting bruises on me is doing to him. No wonder he thought he needed to leave. I switch off the light and shuffle back into the living room then plop down in my chair. I guess I think that if I will him to come home hard enough that he will. After about half an hour of staring at the unmoving door, I get my phone off the charger but find no messages. _Where are you, Tobias?_ Part of me thinks I should go to bed but I would just lie there tossing and turning without him beside me. I can never sleep unless he's there. The other part of me wants to go find him and bring him home. I sigh as I get up and nervously pace.

I don't know how long I've been standing here staring out the wall of windows at the dark, sleeping city when I hear the front door open and close. I close my eyes and send up a silent prayer that he's made it home safe and sound. I see him come into the living room through the reflection in the window. When he sees me standing here, he stops and runs a hand roughly through his hair. I guess he thought I would have went to bed. I turn around and gaze at him. God, he's such a sight for sore eyes. I want nothing more than to run and thrust myself into his arms and pick up right where we left off earlier but neither one of us is ready for that right now.

"I'm glad you're home," I say, my voice soft but guarded. He doesn't move, and he doesn't say anything. _What are you thinking, my love?_ Our eyes don't deviate from each other's. We stand staring, tension and pain palpable all around us then he finally groans and comes my way. He stops just out of arm's length though and runs his fingers through his hair again.

"Are you mad at me?" he asks and I smell alcohol on his breath. I take in a sharp breath, and he looks at me sheepishly. This development doesn't make me happy but he's in control. He's not drunk. So, I think, _am I mad?_

"I'm not exactly happy, Tobias, but I'm not mad," I say as I shake my head and the fact that I'm telling the truth is evident in the conviction of my voice. "I don't like that you walked away when I begged you not to but I understand why you did it. You needed some time to think. I hope everything's all right now." I don't mention the drinking. He doesn't need me to berate him right now. He turns on his heels and looks towards the ceiling as he paces back and forth. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say. After a couple minutes, he turns his head slightly and looks at me out of the corner of his eyes.

"I'm truly sorry, love," he says, obviously pained. "I'm sorry I wouldn't … _couldn't_ talk to you. I'm sorry I walked out on you, especially after we had just made love. That had to hurt. I'm sorry I disregarded your feelings. But what I'm sorriest for is for leaving bruises on you. I promised I would never hurt you."

"Oh, Tobias. You didn't hurt me," I sigh, stepping closer to him. I still want to touch him but when my hand moves his direction, he flinches away from me. We have a lot of work to do to move past this. "You shouldn't have grabbed me the way you did. You were angry, and you could have really hurt me." He groans at my comment.

"I should never leave marks on your beautiful body," he mutters.

"No, you shouldn't," I softly say. He inhales sharply then his soft eyes go cold and I gasp. _How can he be looking at me like this?_ I didn't do anything wrong. Not about this.

"Why aren't you pissed at me, Tris? You should be mad as hell. I've done the one thing I swore I would never do, I laid my hands on you in anger and you have bruises to prove it," he angrily says. I get it now. He's pissed at himself, not me. "I've ruined everything. I don't know how you can stand to be in the same room with me. I should make you sick. I'm nothing but a piece of shit just like my worthless father." Okay. _Now_ I'm angry.

"Are you finished feeling sorry for yourself?" I ask, folding my arms across my chest and his eyes fly to mine. I am expecting anger, maybe confusion but instead I see agony filling them, and I immediately regret my words. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, letting my arms fall to my side. I slowly open them and shake my finger at him. "Don't you ever … _ever_ put yourself down like that in front of me _ever_ again, Tobias Eaton. You are not nothing. You are not shit. You are the sweetest, sexiest, most loving, compassionate, caring, considerate, kind, hard-working man I know. God, don't you know you are everything to me." He stands looking at me, not saying a word. "Nothing," I mutter disgustedly, shaking my head. "Did you mean to bruise my arm tonight?" He says nothing. " _Did you?_ "

"Of course not."

"You were rightfully upset with me for walking away from you during a disagreement and making a mockery out of our lovemaking. You made a mistake, Tobias. It happens to the best of us. Don't dwell on it. Learn from it and move on." My chest is heaving from the adrenaline coursing through my veins, and I feel tears start to fill my eyes again. _Damn it!_ I'm supposed to be angry not crying. I turn and walk back over by the wall of windows, my arms wrapped tightly around myself. It's the only thing holding me together right now.

"I thought you said you weren't mad," he says from right behind me. I see him reach out to comfort me but then drop his hands to his side and I sigh.

"I wasn't until you put yourself down," I say. This time he sighs. "I was scared. I still am."

"God! You should never fear me," he says, self-loathing pouring out of him. My eyes focus on his reflection. He looks like he's just gone 10 rounds in the training room. I turn and throw my arms around his waist and press my ear over his racing heart. He tenses momentarily then finally relaxes and wraps his arms around me, one low at my waist, tightly holding me to him and the other high in my hair, caressing me gently.

"I'm not scared of you, Tobias. I never have been," I say. How do I express what it is I fear when I don't quite understand myself? I tilt my head back and look him in the eye. "I'm afraid that whatever this is is going to be too much for us to overcome."

"I won't lose you," he softly says.

"I won't lose _you_." We gaze into each other's eyes for what seems like eternity. He slowly lowers his lips to mine and when they softly touch, passion explodes. We're all tongues, hands, lips, and hunger.

"Mommy, Daddy, I thirsty," Tyler softly says from right behind us. Tobias and I jump away from each other, startled by the sound of our son's voice. He cocks his head to the side and frowns when he looks up at me. "Why you cryin', Mommy?" I reach up and wipe away tears that I didn't know were still flowing.

"Mommy and I were just talking," Tobias softly says.

"Did you make her cry?" he asks, frowning at his father. Tyler is very protective of me. I couldn't have asked for a better son. I love him so much. Tobias scoops him up and starts towards the stairs. I follow behind them, making a detour to turn off the kitchen light.

"I did and I hate myself for it," he quietly says. Although we make sure we protect our kids, we promised never to outright lie to them so I'm not surprised by his answer.

"That not nice," Tyler pouts.

"I know, buddy," he says.

"Did you say you is sorry to her?" Wow. He's wise beyond his years. Just outside Tyler's room, Tobias stops and turns around.

"Tris, love, I am _so_ sorry," he sincerely says, his free hand resting over his heart. I reach up and glide my fingers down his face and he leans into my palm.

"I know," I softly say. "I'm sorry, too … for everything." I slide my eyes to Tyler's. "Let's get you some more water. You must be really thirsty tonight if your cup is empty."

"I spilled it. On my bed," he says around a wide yawn.

"I'll get him another drink if you change his sheets," Tobias says.

"Okay." Tobias carries Tyler into his bathroom as I strip the sheets off his bed. Thankfully, just the corner of his mattress is wet. The rest of the water pooled on the hardwood floor beneath his bed. I clean it up and just as I smooth out the fresh sheets, Tobias carries him back into the room and deposits him in the middle of the bed. I notice he's wearing fire truck PJs instead of dinosaurs.

"His jammies were wet, too," Tobias says, noticing my gaze. I pull his covers up and tuck him in nice and snug as Tobias puts a half glass of water on his night stand.

"Go back to sleep," I say as I kiss his forehead. "Mommy and Daddy love you."

"Don't cry no more," he pouts. "Okay?" He looks so serious. I think it upset him that I was crying.

"No more crying," I say.

"Promise," he says.

"Tyler, buddy, are you okay?" Tobias asks. He frowns at his father then looks at me.

"You was fightin'," he sadly says. _Damn it!_ "Mia said her mommy and daddy fighted all the time and now they gettin' a vorce. She has to live _two_ places." When I see tears well up in his eyes and his bottom lip start to quiver, it's like someone rips out my beating heart. "I no wanna you get a vorce." Vorce? What the hell's a vorce? I think about it for a moment then it hits me like a ton of bricks. Mia's parents must be getting a divorce. I pull Tyler out from under his covers and straight into my arms. I hold him closely while he cries softly against my chest. I investigate Tobias' face while I'm comforting our son, and he's just as torn up as I am. I can count on one hand the number of times Tyler has heard us argue but tonight is by far the worst.

"We will never get a divorce, my sweet boy," I say when I finally find my voice, my lips in his hair. "Your father and I love each other very _very_ much. Neither one of us could imagine life without the other but sometimes we don't agree on things so we argue. It doesn't mean we would get a divorce."

"I'm sorry you heard us fighting," Tobias says, emotion thick in his voice. "Your mommy and I don't fight very much. Please don't think we do." Tyler sniffs and looks up at us.

"Was you fightin' 'cause I want a brother?" he asks.

"No, buddy, we weren't," I say. "We're thinking about having a baby. We may have one but we might not."

"So, it not my fault?" he quietly asks. I was wrong earlier, this night just officially got worse. A new set of tears flood my eyes, and try as I might, they won't be blinked away.

"Of course, it's not your fault," I say. I hug him tightly, silent tears streaming down my face as my heart twists, and sway back and forth. This must comfort him because he passes out in my arms after a few minutes. Tobias helps me get him back in bed without waking him then we go into our bedroom.

"We should go to bed," he says. I look at the clock and am surprised that it's not quite 2 a.m. Maybe it only seemed like he was gone for hours.

"Where did you go?" I quietly ask, not tired. I feel the intense desire to make this right, especially since my actions are what started everything.

"I grabbed a drink at the bar but it was too crowded so I went to the chasm," he says. "I do some of my best thinking there." His look is thoughtful and far away.

"Did you come up with any answers?" I ask. He takes a deep breath then blows it out.

"Right now, I hate myself, Tris," he says. He takes my hand and leads me to the bed. He sits down, and I sit beside him then he removes his hand from mine. "I'm having a really hard time with the fact that I grabbed you when I was angry, love. I don't know what made me do it. I think I just wanted to look in your eyes, to see what you were really feeling. But when I saw my hand print on your arm, I thought I was going to be sick." He rakes his hands up and down his face roughly. He's obviously deeply disturbed by his actions. "All I could think is that one of my worst fears had come true. Marcus' influence has finally rubbed off on me. I could cut my hand off." I pick his hand up off his lap and lightly trace each finger with the very tip of mine.

"I like your hands," I mutter.

"I don't understand," he says. I look up at him. "Why aren't you upset about this?" I stare into his eyes. Why aren't I upset? He put his hands on me in anger and left marks on me. He shouldn't have done that but I know he didn't mean to.

"I could dwell on it but it's not worth it," I say.

"I left bruises on you," he hisses as he yanks his hand out of mine. "How could that not matter?"

"I didn't say it didn't matter. I said I don't want to dwell on it."

"How can you let me off the hook?" he asks. "I don't deserve it."

"What would you like me to say?" I exasperatedly ask. " _Tell_ me."

"Tell me you hate me. Tell me I'm a horrible human being. Tell me you never want my hands on you again." _Oh, Tobias!_ Always so full of self-loathing. I stand up and close our bedroom door then stand before my husband. I reach out and run my fingers though his hair and ignore it when he flinches.

"Those are your words, Tobias Eaton, not mine. That's not how I feel, not one bit," I sigh. "I. Love. You. I would never tell you I hate you. And you are not horrible. You're the kindest, most loving, giving, considerate, compassionate man I know. I don't know why you insist on putting yourself down. If the roles were reversed and I was the one calling myself nothing, worthless, or worse, you would be so angry with me." I pick up his hands and lace our fingers together as we stare into each other's eyes. "And right now, I'd love nothing more than to feel your hands on every inch of my body." His eyes glaze over with lust but he shakes his head no.

"I'm not ready for that," he says.

"Okay. I understand," I say. "Will you at least hold me please? We've hurt each other so much tonight." Tears sting the back of my eyes and my bottom lip quivers. "I need your arms around me."

"All right," he says. "Pajamas please."

"Of course," I say. I turn to go to the bathroom to get ready for bed then stop and turn around. I'm surprised to see him standing right behind me. "I love you, Tobias. I'm sorry I got so angry that I walked away from you. I'm sorry I was rude and sarcastic and you felt the need to put your hands on me. I'm sorry that a single bruise can make you feel so bad about yourself. You're a better man than you give yourself credit for." I go to turn back around but he catches my wrist loosely in his hand.

"Don't go," he says, his eyes … sad. He grazes the back of his fingers down my face and stares into my tear-filled eyes. He sighs then gathers me up in his arms, his lips moving softly with mine. "Please don't cry, love." I have my arms wrapped tightly around his neck, sobbing softly into his shoulder. I don't know why I'm so damn emotional. He gently lifts me and lies me down in the middle of our bed then he lies down beside me, his strong arms wrapped protectively around me. I tangle my legs with his and rest my head on his chest. He runs the very tips of his fingers up and down my left arm. I have my right one tucked safely underneath me.

"Are you awake?" I quietly ask after we've both been still for quite some time.

"Yeah," he says.

"Thank you for holding me," I say. "Touching me. You don't know what that means to me." I tilt my chin back and his lips find mine but he pulls away before the kiss can deepen.

"It's my job," he says. "I meant what I said earlier. I _will_ _not_ lose you." I roll so I'm looking deeply into his eyes.

"I want to make love, Tobias."

"I would like that, too, love," he says, caressing my cheek lovingly, "but now isn't the right time. We're both exhausted." I can't argue with that. He's right. I'm emotionally wrung out, and I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open.

"Later?" I ask.

"Later," he promises.


	10. Chapter 10

A burning heat fills my bedroom and swirls around my body, trying to set me on fire. _Why am I so damn hot?_ I try to stretch my tired, sore muscles but I can't move an inch. I drag my heavy eyelids open, and all I can see is the top of Tobias's head. He's wrapped around me like a feather boa, his head cushioned on my breasts, and his legs resting squarely on top of mine, pinning the lower half of my body to the mattress, sound asleep. It's no wonder I can't move. He weighs a fricking ton! And _my God_ it feels like someone turned the furnace up to about 100 degrees in here.

I'm surprised when I see us both clad in yesterday's clothes until I remember we didn't bother changing into our PJs after the emotional rollercoaster we took last night. We were both exhausted, physically and emotionally. To be honest, I still feel a bit wrung out. I roll my head to the right so I can get a better look at his sleeping face and smile. He seems very content now. Who am I to bother him?

I gently run my fingers through his messy tresses, which are curling up on the ends as I gaze at his slumbering face. As hard as I try not to, my thoughts drift to last night and my heart constricts painfully. I hope he's in a better mood this morning and not so hard on himself. If I feared that he would hurt me or, God forbid, one of our kids, he would not be here right now. The casual caressing of his hair finally causes him to stir. His eyelids flutter open, and he looks confused for a moment then a happy smile unfurls on his lips. He snuggles closer to my breasts and sighs.

"Good morning, baby," I chuckle.

"Morning, love," he groggily says his voice full of sleep but he doesn't move a muscle, which makes my heart sing but I am beginning to lose all feeling in my legs.

"Um, as much as I hate to see you to move, Tobias, my legs are asleep," I say, never stopping the rhythmic movement of my fingers in his hair. He groans in protest as he rolls off me, and my legs start tingling as the blood comes rushing back. I gingerly move them, wincing. They feel like two dead weights.

"Are you okay?" he asks sitting straight up, no sign of drowsiness left, concern thick in his voice.

"Yeah but both of my legs are tingling something fierce," I say, my face scrunched up in pain. He knowingly shakes his head and wraps his big hands around one of my legs and starts tenderly massaging the life back into it. It hurts even worse to begin with as he works his way from my thigh to my toes but the prickling sensation goes away sooner. "The other one now, baby." He gently places my left leg back on the mattress and picks up the right, giving it the same special treatment. "Oh, your hands feel so good," I moan and he chuckles softly.

"I'm sorry, love," he says, still working magic on my calf with his nimble fingers. "I think I passed out and didn't move a muscle all night."

"You _do_ seem to really like my breasts," I laugh.

"That I do," he says, throwing me a warm, easy smile. We gaze at each other as he massages my foot. "How is your arm?"

"It doesn't hurt, I promise," I say.

"I need to see it," he says as he gently rests my leg back on the mattress. I sit up so we are nearly nose to nose.

"I'm afraid to show it to you," I whisper, remembering how it looked in the bright bathroom light earlier this morning. _What does it look like now?_

"Why are you afraid, love?" he very patiently asks, his Four demeanor masking his own fear but I can feel it. I lower my head and stare at our joined hands. He puts his finger on my chin and tips it up. "Look at me. Talk to me."

"I don't want you upset, Tobias," I softly say. "You didn't mean to."

"You are definitely right about that," he sighs, "but the truth of the matter is I grabbed you when I was furious with you, and I left bruises on your arm and not a little one, Tris. I left my whole _fucking_ _hand_!" He grimaces and shakes his head then takes a deep breath. "I am _so_ sorry, love. I didn't mean to lose it. I'm not upset with you, I swear. I'm pissed as hell at myself. I have to deal with these … _feelings_ and it will help to see it."

"Okay." I swing my body to the left so my right arm is directly in front of him. He slowly rolls my sleeve up, revealing the purplish handprint. I see a combination of agony and self-loathing flash across his face just before he squeezes his eyes tightly shut. Tears prick the back of my eyes as I watch him go through this knowing that there truly isn't anything I can do to help. He slowly raises is eyelids, a deep melancholy there now, and he leans forward and kisses every inch of the bruise.

"I'm going to spend every day of the rest of my life making this up to you," he says. I hear agony, sadness, and resolve mixed in his voice. I sweep the hair off his forehead and glide my fingers down his temple and cheek then across his jawline. He captures my hand and lovingly kisses my palm.

"I'm sorry this is hurting you so much. What can I do to help?"

"Please don't cry, love," he says, tears wetting his own eyes. "There's nothing you can do. This is something I have to work through myself."

"Please don't shut me out, baby," I say.

"Never," he mutters. I surprise him when I climb into his lap, wrap my arms tightly around his neck and my legs around his waist, and kiss him with everything I've got. His lips are slow to respond but catch up with mine in no time. This raw emotion is something neither of us is used to. He slides one hand up my back and into my tousled hair, making sure my mouth goes nowhere and the other down to knead the tender flesh of my behind. I move my fingers up into his locks as I press every inch of my body to his. "Oh, God, I want you," he murmurs against my skin after he kisses his way to my neck, giving us both a chance to breathe. I know. I feel him.

"I want you, too," I pant, sounding like a wanton woman.

"I can't wait, love," he says as his hands move to the hem of my snug black tee. "I need to be inside you this instant." I need no other invitation. I need him buried deeply inside me just as much to help with this uncontrollable ache that's developed deep in my core. He takes my shirt off then whips his own off over his head and tosses it in the same direction he just flung mine. My eyes roam his naked Adonis-like chest, and it leaves me just as breathless as the first time he exposed it to me. He pushes me back on the mattress and unsnaps my jeans and hurriedly lowers them down my body leaving me totally exposed to his ravenous stare. "Just a taste," he murmurs so low I'm not sure that's what he says until he confirms it when he spreads my legs wide and bends down and places his lips to my womanhood, kissing my most intimate area. I moan loudly when he strokes the tip of his soft tongue across my moist entrance and up over my throbbing nubbin. He thrusts that magical tongue through my folds, inside me, and makes love to me with his mouth. I arch off the mattress at the amazing sensation, pushing myself up further on his probing tongue, and I feel my muscles starting to tighten. He moves it back up and concentrates on my sensitive bundle of nerves, attacking it from every direction with just the velvety tip, not letting me get used to it until I'm a writhing mess. I call his name as one of the most powerful orgasms of my life overtakes me. I stop breathing, and I swear I see stars. After what seems far too long, I pull in lungfuls of much-needed air but he doesn't stop his assault on my nubbin until I ride the wave of pleasure to fruition.

He sits back, licking his lips, a sexy look on his face then gets off the bed. I follow him with my eyes, my body too exhausted to move now. I watch him frantically fumble with the buttons of his jeans, muttering to himself, his eyes on my splayed body. He finally lowers the denim over his hips, down his legs, and steps out of them then climbs up onto the bed and settles between my legs. He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me tenderly as he pushes inside me with one long, forceful drive. When we are one, he pulls back, balances himself on his elbows, and caresses my cheeks.

"I'm sorry for everything, love," he says, tension in his jawline. I can tell that he really wants to move but he's giving me time to get used to his body inside mine. Even after nearly three years and one baby, it's still a very tight fit.

"I'm sorry, too," I say, caressing his face. "I need you to move, baby. I need to get lost in you. Show me how much you love me. Make love to me, _please_ , Tobias." I move my hips back as much as I can then thrust them up again, moving him in and out of me a little without him moving a muscle. His eyes dilate further and his lips crash into mine. He starts moving in long, deep strokes that match his tongue plundering my mouth, and I know this won't last long, the need we both feel overpowering the desire to keep the pace slow.

He blankets my body with his, his nearly onyx eyes staring into mine as our hips find a satisfying rhythm as old as time. After a few minutes, he picks up the pace, and I wrap my legs around his waist, giving him deeper access to my small body. He reaches between us and finds my tender nubbin with his calloused thumb. As his thrusts change, he starts rubbing the small yet extremely sensitive protrusion somewhat roughly. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and kiss him greedily, our bodies slamming into each other in a primal need. He presses harder on my nubbin, and I explode around him in a blinding rush of ecstasy. I don't know if I forget to breathe or forget how as my body convulses around his but I finally drag in an unsteady breath and cry out his name.

" _Tobias_! Oh, God, baby! Yes. Yes. _YES!_ _Tobias_! God, I love you!" My explosive release triggers his and he thrusts deeply, stills, and buries his head in my shoulder and grunts, groans, and shudders as he empties himself inside me. Emotional tears slide down my cheeks, into my hair as his heat spreads through my core.

"What's wrong?" he softly pants as he kisses the wetness out of the corner of each eye.

"I just love you so much," I mumble, sniffing, still not able to control my emotions. He lowers his lips to mine and kisses me tenderly yet thoroughly.

"I love you, too," he says as he gazes affectionately down at me. He rolls us so that we are on our sides but still joined. He runs his hands lightly over my back and side. It feels good. "That went far too quickly. Tonight, I'm going to show you just how much I love you. I'm going to kiss every inch of your beautiful body and I do mean every inch then I'm going to make you come over and over again and when you think you can't take anymore, I'm going to slide deep inside your tight little body and make love to you until you're screaming my name. I love hearing my name on your lips as you come." He gives me a slow, sweltering kiss. "Tonight's going to be all about you and you alone, love. You need a little pampering so don't make any other plans. You're mine tonight." The look in his eyes is possessive yet so full of love and his words make me clench around his length causing him to moan. He carefully pulls out of me and kisses my forehead. "As much as I want to stay buried inside you all day, the kids will be up soon. Take a shower with me?" Who could refuse such a lovely offer?

"I would love to," I say. We get up and he opens our bedroom door before we go into the bathroom. Our leisurely shower shifts when he pushes me up against the cold tile wall and roughly takes me from behind but I don't mind at all. It seems like he can't get enough of me after our fight last night, and the feeling is entirely mutual. After pounding into me at a frenzied pace for what seems like hours – I'm definitely going to be sore today – he whispers in my ear that he wants to see me touch myself. I close my eyes and shyly slide my hand down my body then between my thighs. I rub my aching nubbin the way I like him to, and I come hard around his hammering length, which sets off his explosion. After catching our breath, we finish our shower then take turns drying each other off between sweet kisses. I wander into my closet to get dressed while he does the same.

"I'm going to check on the girls," he says as I'm tying my shoes. We are meeting friends at the park today so I'm dressed for comfort in a black and gray striped scoop neck tee, fitted dark gray shorts, and my running shoes and I notice he's wearing a pair of black athletic shorts with a dark gray stripe down the side, a dark gray tank top with the Dauntless logo in black on the front, and running shoes that match mine. "I'm sure they're up already." His eyes casually roam up and down my body, and I blush at the hungry look in his eyes. This is going to be a long day. I might have to take him into the bathroom at the park. _Hhm_. There's an interesting idea. "You look good enough to eat." I had the exact same thought about him.

"You don't look too bad yourself, hot stuff," I giggle. An easy smile crosses his face and he chuckles. He starts toward me, a predatory look in his eyes, and I put my hand on his chest, halting him. "The girls," I say.

"Oh, yeah! Right," he says, shaking his head as if to clear it. He leans over and kisses my forehead with a chuckle then heads out into the hallway. "Are you sure you don't just want to get a sitter and spend the day in bed?"

"You are such a naughty boy, Mr. Eaton," I say.

"You're making me so damn horny, Mrs. Eaton," he roughly says.

"Tonight, baby," I say. "You can have me as much as you want tonight."

"I'm holding you to that," he says with a wink then he disappears around the corner. _Damn!_ I thought he was going to attack me like he did in the shower, not that I would have minded. I head into the bathroom and style my hair into a simple French braid. While I'm putting on my light makeup, I hear the patter of little feet and I smile. Tessa comes running into the room and straight to me.

"Hi, little one," I say, scooping her up in my arms. I hug her tightly and pepper her face with kisses. "Do you have to go potty?" She goes from smiles to frowns in nothing flat.

"No," she pouts and I sigh. _Must we go through this_ every _morning?_

"Will you sit on the potty for Mommy?" I ask. She finally nods so I help her out of the purple princess jammies Christina bought her when Tyler was in the infirmary. They have quickly become her new favorites, and she refuses to wear anything else to bed. I need to remember to stop by the boutique and pick up another pair so I'll be able to wash these someday. Once I take her still dry training diaper off, she sits down and immediately goes potty.

"Yeah!" She starts clapping and I join in. God, I love her!

"See! You are such a big girl," I say, kissing her forehead. "Pretty soon we'll have to go shopping just you and me for pretty grown up panties and you won't have to wear this bulky training diaper anymore." I finish up her diaper and she hugs me tightly.

"Love you, Mama," she says, melting my heart.

"I love you, too, little one," I say.

"Make way!" Tobias calls out and Teagan comes running in, naked as the day she was born, and sits on the potty, a huge grin on her face, which takes my breath away. God, she looks just like me. "She got away from me."

"I can see that," I say as I pick Tessa up. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek over and over. "Have you had a chance to check on Tyler?"

"He's still asleep," he says, a frown overtaking his face. He's worried about the fact that our son saw us arguing last night. I must admit, I am, too.

"He still needs his rest," I say. "Maybe we should cancel our plans for today. It might be too much for him." He furrows his brows and sighs.

"I think some fresh air will do him some good, do all of them some good," he says. "They've been cooped up inside most of this week. They're going stir crazy. _We_ are going stir crazy."

"I poo poo," Teagan announces proudly and we look at her.

"Did you go poopy on the potty?" Tobias asks, his voice full of wonder. She gets up and points. She sure did. We clap our hands, whooping and hollering. Tessa even joins in, and Teagan grins from ear-to-ear like this is the best thing ever. After cleaning her up and putting her in a fresh diaper I pick her up and hug her tightly. I have such a sense of pride but there's a bit of melancholy, too. My baby is growing up so fast. Tears wet my eyes as I kiss her.

"I'm so proud of you, Teagan Grace," I softly say. "You're getting to be such a big girl." I'm not surprised when my thoughts drift to having another baby. They always do when my girls reach a milestone. Soon they will both be potty trained and what if I never get to repeat this process? Tobias wipes the tear off my cheek with a knowing look.

"You have wanted a baby for a while whether you know it or not," he softly says. I furrow my brows at him. "I've seen this look, minus the tears, of course, several times over the past year, always when the girls do something amazing." Yes, pooping in the potty is considered amazing around here! I kiss Teagan's soft waves, and she kisses me back then turns and hold her arms out for her father who happily takes her.

"You have?" I ask as I pick Tessa up who wraps her lithe little arms around me.

"Yeah," he says as we head to the nursery to get the girls dressed. "I never knew what it meant but if I'm being completely honest, I suspected. I just didn't know how to broach the subject."

"We don't have to talk about this today," I softly say.

"When's your next appointment with Isobel?" he asks.

"The beginning of September."

"That long, huh?"

"Why?" I ask, intrigued. _Where's he going with this?_

"I think we need to talk to her or Zander sooner than that about the risks of another pregnancy. I know it would help me with my decision."

"That actually sounds like a good idea," I say as I pick out outfits for the girls. "Then we can be given all the facts, and we can sit down and have a serious discussion about it. I can tell you this right now, Tobias, if the risk is too great, I'll be satisfied with three kids. I would never willingly take myself away from Tyler, Tessa, Teags, or you for _any_ reason. He wraps his arms around me and lowers his lips to mine. He kisses me softly until we hear giggling.

"I forgot we have an audience," he murmurs against my lips.

"Hi," Tyler says as he walks into the room. "I was lookin' for you." When Tobias lets me go, he smiles up at us. "You was kissin'." I think it's the first time he approves of seeing his father and me sharing an intimate moment.

"We were," Tobias says, ruffling his hair affectionately. "How are you feeling today, buddy?" Tyler shrugs his shoulders.

"Your stomach doesn't hurt, does it?" I ask, concerned. I never want him to be in pain ever again in his entire life.

"No," he says. "My tummy and throat and ears don't hurt no more."

"You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that," I say. "Why don't you go get dressed? Mommy and Daddy have a surprise for you." The girls look up at us, frowning.

"Don't worry," I say to them. "It's your surprise, too." They all start jumping around, excited. Do I really want to add to this chaos? I feel a tug at my heartstrings. Yes. Yes, I _really_ do. "If we aren't in here when you're done getting dressed, we'll be downstairs, Tyler. I think we're having blueberry pancakes and bacon for breakfast if I'm not mistaken."

"We are," Tobias says. Again, they all excitedly start running around the small room.

"Come here, Tessa Beatrice," I say and she runs into my arms. _Monster!_

"Teags, let's get some clothes on you," Tobias says. "Tyler, please go get dressed."

"Okay, Daddy," he says then runs out of the room. We really need to work on the no running in the house rule. All three of them do it, and we don't enforce it enough.

"I pick, Mama," Tessa frowns.

"Mommy already picked out your outfit today," I say as I sit her on the changing table. Tobias is patiently waiting his turn, blowing raspberries on Teagan's bare belly, making her giggle hysterically. "It's a pretty outfit. You'll love it." I pull the soft heather gray t-shirt, which has a little pink bow just below the center of the crew neckline on over her head and she helps me put her arms through the armholes. She lies back, and I slip the soft blue-and-pink-rose-and-green-leaf-covered ivory shortalls up her body then fasten the snaps. She looks so darn cute. "Shall we go do something with your hair, little one?" She holds her arms out for me, already forgetting that she was mad that she didn't get to pick out her own outfit. "Remember, you've got to tell Mommy or Daddy when you have to go potty."

"Otay!" she says. I turn my attention to Tobias and Teagan. "I'll do Tessa's hair then I'll do Teags'."

"Lub 'ou!" Teagan says, her head tilted to the side, a playful smile on her lips. I love her so much but I swear she is the hardest kid to understand. She's also our little flirt. I'm sure she'll chase Liam around today until she gets her fill of kisses. I swear that kid will be our son-in-law one day.

"I love you, too," I say. I pucker up and she leans forward and gives me a sloppy, wet kiss. I slide my eyes to Tobias and the tender way he's looking at me takes my breath away. "I love you, too, baby."

"I not bebe," Teagan mutters, frowning from ear to ear.

I run my hand down her cheek and say, "I was talking to your daddy." She looks at him, confused.

"You bebe?" she asks, her hands held out by her head. She does this just about every time she asks a question. I have no idea where she got it from.

"That's what your mommy calls me," he says. "It's a nickname just like we call you Teags."

"'Kay!" I doubt she understands but she's no longer scowling. I give Tobias a soft kiss then carry Tessa into the bathroom and sit her down on the long quartz countertop between the his-and-hers sinks.

"How should we do your hair today, little one?" I say as I run the brush through her soft curls. These quiet times with my girls, styling their hair, reminds me of all those times growing up in Abnegation that my mother would cut then style mine. It seemed like nothing special at the moment but looking back those were some of the most intimate, happy times I shared with my mom. That's when she would smile sweetly and talk freely. I'm so glad I still get to see her. I consider her my friend now.

"No bow," she says, shaking her head as I rifle through the drawer that holds their hair accessories.

"How about a braid like Mommy's?" I ask.

"Yeah!" she says, her eyes lighting up. I turn her to face the mirror and quickly put a French braid into her thick curls and secure it with a soft pink ponytail holder. She grins the entire time I style her hair. "All done," I announce as Tobias carries Teagan into the bathroom. I look at her outfit and grin. It matches Tessa's perfectly except it favors her fairer coloring with its soft pink shirt and little dark-blue-heart-covered ivory shortalls. He stops when he sees Tessa.

"You look beautiful, Pebbles" he says, gaining a wide smile from our daughter. "Just like your mommy." Teagan says something neither Tobias nor I can quite make out while I set Tessa on her feet, and she runs out the door.

"Walk!" Tobias and I say.

"How do you want your hair, Teags?" I ask her and she frowns. "Do you want a braid, too?" When her eyes light up, we both realize that must be what she was talking about earlier.

"I'll start breakfast," Tobias says.

"Okay," I say, kissing him tenderly, lovingly. "We'll be down in a little bit." I watch as he walks away then turn to my baby. Her hair isn't quite as long as her sisters and it's baby fine so keeping her hair in a braid has always been a hardship but we make it work. I run the brush through her locks and meet her smiling eyes. I quickly braid her hair and put on a spritz of hairspray then fasten a few stray hairs back with little pink heart barrettes. "All done. What do you think?" She turns her head from side to side and giggles.

"Like Mama," she says.

"You really do look _just_ like Mommy," I say, "except you have your daddy's beautiful eyes. Ready for pancakes?" She nods eagerly as I carry her toward the kitchen.

"Teags is here now," Tyler whines. "Can you tell us what the surprise is? _Please_!"

"Yeah! _Peas!_ " Tessa says.

" _Peas!_ " Teagan joins in. I can't help but chuckle. I can guarantee she doesn't have the slightest idea what she's begging for. I sit her in her booster chair and place a soft kiss on the top of her head then join Tobias in the kitchen.

"Do you think we should tell them?" he asks, his eyes shining brightly. He's in such a good mood right now. I hope nothing happens to change that.

"I don't know," I say and they all groan.

" _Please!_ " Tyler moans.

" _Peas!_ " my girls say at the same time.

"I don't think they sound excited enough to be let in on the secret," Tobias teases and they all start excitedly jabbering at once.

"Hey-hey! We'll tell you," I say. "We are packing a picnic lunch," Tyler's eyes widen in anticipation, "and we are meeting some friends at the park."

"Yes!" he says like I just told him he never has to clean his room ever again. The girls are all smiles.

"I'm glad you're happy," I say, "but, Tyler, you have to rest some and drink plenty of water. We don't want you sick again."

"Okay, Mommy," he says. "I do anything to go to the park." I know.

"Let's get breakfast under way so we can pack the picnic lunch and go," Tobias says.

"Sounds like a plan!" I say, the kids' excitement rubbing off on me.


	11. Chapter 11

When Tobias turns our over-full car into the park entrance the kids go wild. They've been cooped up inside the apartment for far too long. This will be really good for them, although I still worry about Tyler overdoing it. He's only been out of the infirmary for three days. Panic bubbles up into my chest as I think about all he's been through this week but I push it down. He's fine now. Besides, Zander will be here _if_ , God forbid, anything were to happen.

I notice lots of familiar faces milling around our favorite picnic area as we pull into our usual parking space, and I smile broadly. Most of our friends were able to make it. Unfortunately, Uriah, Christina, Brody, and Ana are with their initiates so they obviously couldn't come but everyone else is here. I get out of the car once it rolls to a stop and unload three very hyper kids who immediately dash off to the play area where the other kids are already congregating.

"Be careful," I call out after them but they pay me no mind at all and I can't help but roll my eyes. "What can I do to help?" I meet Tobias at the back of the car just as he raises the trunk. He looks around then pulls me up against his hard body and runs his fingers down my cheek and gently cups my chin.

"You can kiss me, beautiful," he murmurs. Who am I to say no to such a request? He tips my head back and slowly lowers his gifted mouth to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and press my body against his as we move our lips together slowly, tenderly, purposefully until he pulls me even closer and deepens the kiss. Desire hums through my body, and I go weak in the knees. He forces my mouth open with his and thrusts his tongue inside, tenaciously mating it with mine. I fist my fingers in his hair and mold my body to every inch of his. I feel his hand slip under my tee and up to cover my aching breast, hardening my throbbing nipple, and I moan into his mouth. How are we ever going to wait until tonight?

"Oh, dear God!" Zeke excl. aims. "No, no, _no!_ I've already seen this once. I don't _ever_ need to see it again." My cheeks flame at his words, and I tear myself away from my husband. " _My_ _eyes_!"

He turns on his heels and starts to walk away when Tobias growls, "Get your ass back here, you idiot." Neither of us really like being reminded of the time we lost control in the fear landscape room after Tobias' horrific simulation and that Zeke has seen us making love. I cringe at the memory. "Dramatic much! I was just kissing my wife. You're not a stranger to the concept." Zeke grins like a loon. Early last year, we all thought he and Shauna were over for good after she caught him in a passionate lip lock with some floozy in the Pit after a particularly rowdy game of Candor or Dauntless. Earlier in the evening, on a dare, he kissed the same girl on the cheek. Apparently, she already had a crush on him and set her sights on getting him into bed even though it was common knowledge he was in a committed relationship. He had had entirely too much to drink and obviously wasn't thinking straight. Shauna immediately kicked his ass to the curb but they managed to work things out, and on Valentine's Day this year, they said their I do's in front of all their friends and family at the same spot Will and Christina got married. I'm very happy for them. It was a rough three months for everyone while they were apart. None of us wanted to take sides but it was hard to maintain friendships with both of them. I gravitated toward Shauna and, of course, Tobias was there for Zeke. I'm glad everything is back to normal now. "Here take this," Tobias grumbles as he shoves the volleyball net into his best friend's arms.

"I really was only kidding," he says with a chuckle. "You'd think less of me if I didn't tease."

"No, I wouldn't," Tobias roughly says and I shake my head.

"Hey, Tris," Zeke says as he moves the net out of the way and leans in to kiss me on the cheek. "I can see why your man had his hands all over you. You look good."

"Dude," Tobias says as he gives him a "what the hell" look, "stop flirting with my wife and go set the net up."

"All right," he says with a shit-eating grin on his face then turns and walks away.

"Jackass," Tobias mutters under his breath and I giggle.

"You two kill me," I say.

"I'd like to kill _him_."

"No, you wouldn't," I say rubbing his shoulder lovingly. "You would be lost without him."

"I should have pushed him into the chasm during our initiation."

"Hey," I say and he turns his gaze on me. The longer we stare at each other, the more his look softens. "He really wouldn't be Zeke if he didn't remind us of our … indiscretion."

"I know," he sighs, "but with what happened last night, it kind of hit me the wrong way."

"I love you," I remind him.

"I love you, too, Tris." He leans in, and I shake my head.

"I'm afraid if we start we aren't going to want to stop," I whisper. Even I can hear the longing in my voice. Maybe I should have taken him up on his offer of staying in bed all day. "The past 24 hours have been an emotional rollercoaster for both of us, and I know how we deal with stressful situations." We tear each other's clothes off.

"I want you so much right now," he mutters. I want him, too, and he knows it because I can't hide it. I don't even try.

"Tonight, baby," I say. " _Tonight_." It's not a statement, it's a promise. Nothing will keep me from locking myself away with him. _Nothing!_ He lowers his mouth to mine, his eyes seeking permission the entire way, and I nod just before his lips meet mine and he kisses me tenderly.

"Stop making out and get your asses over here," Zeke yells at the top of his lungs and I can't help but giggle against Tobias' lips.

"He's so dead," he murmurs.

"But he's right," I say after a quick final kiss. "Come on, baby." We finish unpacking the car and carry the stuff over to the sea of blankets beneath the umbrella of ancient oaks. God, I love this place, and it's such a beautiful day. There's a light breeze, and the temperature is in the high-70s, which is unusual, especially for early July. The lows are usually in the mid to high 80s.

After saying our hellos to everyone, I look toward the playground to make sure the kids are okay. Tyler found Zane, and they are on the swings, pushing each other to see who can go the highest; Tessa is repeatedly going down the little slide with a huge smile on her face; and Teagan and Liam are holding hands running back and forth over the swinging bridge. When Tobias sees this, he growls. I think Christina and I have teased him too much about them being boyfriend and girlfriend. I have to remind him that they're still practically babies and to stop eying Liam that way. We spread our blanket out in between Zeke and Shauna's and Avery and Callen's then he goes to help Zeke, James, Trevor, and Stefan set up the volleyball net, and I settle down on a nearby blanket with the girls.

"Hey, Tris!" they all say in unison except for Lynn who gives me a dirty look. She must know about my altercation with Hector yesterday. Part of me wants to question her about his behavior and her part in it but I want today to be fun and drama-free. I had enough yesterday to last a lifetime.

"Hey, girls," I say then slide my eyes over the two beautiful baby boys being passed around the group and add, "and boys." James and Ciara's little boy, Lincoln, is sitting in Shauna's lap playing patty cake. He will be 18 months old on the 30th and is the light in his parents' eyes. He was the sweetest baby and has grown into a well-behaved, beautiful toddler who looks exactly like his mother with his curly blonde hair and light blue eyes. It makes us all laugh because he looks _nothing_ at all like his father and that has become the butt of many jokes. Grayson, Ella and Stefan's nearly 6-month-old son, is sitting on his Aunt Kirsten's lap smiling up at her, his fist shoved in his mouth, drool running down his chin. He's a perfect mixture of his parents with his light mocha skin, chestnut-colored hair, and eyes so dark brown they're looking more and more like Ella's every day. I now recognize the familiar tightness in my chest that I get every time I look at them, especially Grayson. I guess I wasn't even being honest with myself about wanting a baby.

"Hey, Tris," Shauna says. "What happened yesterday between you and my idiot little brother?" Her eyes aren't as friendly as they normally are, which surprises me.

"He was extremely rude and disrespectful," I say. "He challenged my authority in front of the other Dauntless-born and called me a _Stiff_ , which I definitely did _not_ appreciate. That kind of behavior will not be tolerated."

"But why put him with the transfers?" Lynn asks, obviously irritated. She's sitting with her girlfriend of one year, Bailey, who is a pretty, petite redhead with dark green eyes and a spattering of light freckles over her nose and cheeks. She's as sweet as they come. Lynn got lucky when she found her. Some of the others were shocked when she came out but it actually made how she used to look at Marlene make perfect sense. I'm glad she's happy now but I remember her betrayal and frown.

"He needs to learn how to respect authority but the biggest lesson he needs right now is that coming from a different faction doesn't make a person any less Dauntless," I say. "Where did his attitude come from, anyway?"

"Probably our mother," Shauna says with a sigh.

"I wasn't going to ask this question here but you guys brought it up so, Lynn, do you still call me Stiff when I'm not around?" I notice everyone advert their eyes, and I confirm what I suspected yesterday. She finally nods. "Why would you do that? I thought we were friends."

"We are friends," she says. "And it's _just_ a nickname."

"No, it's not. It's rude, disrespectful, and to tell you the truth, it hurts my feelings. Do you call Christina Candor or Will Erudite when they aren't around? I've been a Dauntless member for the exact same amount of time you have so where I grew up shouldn't matter. I need you to stop. I have no idea what got into Hector, he was always a sweet kid, but you disrespecting me behind my back had to have contributed to his attitude. Promise me."

"You're right, Tris," she says, remorsefully. "I never thought of it that way. I'm sorry."

"It's how we were raised. Don't get me wrong, I'm not making excuses for anyone," Shauna says. "I love my mom but she's old school and her opinions are set in stone. Her attitude must have rubbed off on him."

"I take it she doesn't like me," I say.

"She doesn't like the way things are being handled in the entire city," Lynn says. "She likes the separation between the factions. She doesn't appreciate the new rules that have been implemented and the ones that are trying to be passed."

"That doesn't surprise me," Stella says. "A lot of people my age and older are old school, as you say. We've had faction before blood drilled into our heads our entire life so the loosening of restrictions these past couple years have been mind boggling for some to say the least. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but not everyone shares my opinion."

"Mom hates it," Lynn says. "She also thinks you and Four are making Dauntless soft. Shauna and I disagree but apparently Hector's taken up her cause."

"I'm sorry we got mad when we learned he's been put with the transfers," Shauna says. Lynn nods in agreement. "It's really none of our business but we love the little shithead. Maybe I should visit him and kick his ass. Four taught me everything I know so I'd be able to do it."

"Yeah, me, too," Lynn says. "That should straighten his ass out."

"Come on guys, no more shop talk." Ciara pouts then her expression turns sunny. "I have some news," she singsong. We all look at her expectantly. "Lincoln is going to have a baby brother or sister in approximately six-and-a-half months." Cheers of celebration gain the attention of our men, and they come over.

"You told them?" James asks, one eyebrow arched as they approach and Ciara nods.

"Told who what?" Will asks, looking over toward Liam, making sure he's okay.

"Cici and I are having another baby," he says. As the guys pat his back, grasp his shoulder in congratulations, and give out delighted yet awkward man hugs, Tobias' eyes find mine. I'm ecstatic for them but it just makes me want a baby that much more, and after his face falls slightly, I know I must look sad. I feel sad. I'm making this harder than I intend for him, and I hate myself for it.

I'm not the only one who looks sad. Kirsten looks like she is fighting back tears and Trevor puts his arms around his wife and kisses her temple. They got married early last year in a beautiful double ceremony Christina planned – she's made such a name for herself planning parties and weddings that now she does it fulltime – with Ella and Stefan. They both immediately started trying for families and after many unsuccessful months, Kirsten found out that she can't have kids because of an infection she had when she was a child. We all grieved with her but I know she still feels the loss every time the subject of children comes up. She and Trevor have started the adoption process but haven't had any new news for quite some time.

"That's awesome," Will says. "I'm so happy for both of you."

"We're all happy for you," Trevor softly says. I guess I've never taken into consideration his feelings about his wife's infertility. It's his loss, too.

"Mama, Mama, Mama," Tessa yells as she comes running up to me.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I sirsty," she says. I pull her into my lap and give her the sippy cup full of cold water out of the handy cooler. She tilts it back, resting her head against me and drinks her fill. "Ah!" I expect her to get right up to go back to the playground but she stays where she is. Her eyes widen as she takes in all the familiar faces she's been around since birth looking her way that still make her nervous and shy. I wrap my arms around her and she hangs on for dear life.

"Need more to drink, little one?" I ask and she takes the water and drains it. I lean over and softly say to her, "Remember to tell Mommy or Daddy when you have to go potty, okay?"

"Otay! Pay again?"

"Of course, you can play," I say and she gets up and sprints back toward the other kids.

"Careful!" Tobias and I yell at the same time, earning chuckles from all our friends. They all know how protective we are of our children.

"Who's up for volleyball?" Zeke asks. Hands go up and people start trash talking one another. You've got to love the Dauntless competitive spirit.

"I think I'll sit this one out," I say. "I'm kind of tired. Yesterday was a rough day, and I didn't sleep very well."

"I'll stay here with you," Ciara says.

"Me, too," Abigail and Stella say at the same time.

"Would you like me to stay with you?" Tobias asks as he squats down behind me.

"No," I say. "Go play. Have fun!"

"Okay, love," he says. He gives me a quick kiss then jogs off to meet up with the rest of the group.

"Want to hold Grayson, Tris?" Kirsten asks. "I want to play."

"Sure," I say. I carefully take the baby out of her lap and coo at him, making him smile. "You're such a pretty baby, yes you are." Stella, Abigail, Ciara, and I watch as everyone else splits up into two teams by the net. Since there are 20 of them, the teams are even. The captains are Zeke, who picks Shauna, Will, Lynn, Kevin, Marlene, Stefan, Bailey, Nathan, and Kirsten and Tobias, who picks Ella, James, Murphy, Trevor, Avery, Zander, Afton, Callen, and Declan.

"Why was I picked last?" Declan whines.

"Cause you hit like a girl," Zeke and Tobias say at the same time causing him to grumble but everyone else to laugh. Thankfully Declan is a good-natured guy and doesn't mind the ribbing the others give him. He would much rather be behind a computer screen than pursuing physical activity unless it's with his girlfriend of five years, Afton, who just happens to be Avery's best friend. Because of Av's connection to Tobias and me, her good friends are now our friends. In the past three years, our table in the cafeteria has doubled in size and is getting crowded again, especially with the addition of little mouths to feed.

"So how are you handling Avery living with Callen?" Abigail asks Stella while we watch the beginning of the game. I notice that all the kids, except for Lincoln and Grayson are huddled over by the volleyball net to watch the game. My girls are the cheerleaders and keep trying to hug their father every time he hits the ball. I shake my head but I can't help but smile sweetly at them. I think they're going to give me a heart attack.

"I'm taking it better than Zander is," she says. Avery and Callen moved in together just six short weeks ago after dating for three years. They are taking their relationship very slowly. A lot of it has to do with his trust issues after everything that happened with his mother and brother. One Saturday afternoon while we were at the pool with the kids, Avery confided in me that after more than two years together they still hadn't had sex, and she very much wanted to but he was still leery of being betrayed and getting hurt. I suggested that she sit down with him and immediately have a heart to heart. The next morning, they both looked very _very_ happy. She hugged me tightly and thanked me for the great advice. She still comes to me for guidance every once in a while, which I'm happy to provide. She's like the little sister I never had, and I count her as one of my three best friends, the others being Ana and Christina, of course. "There's something unsettling about knowing your child is having sex even if they are an adult." She shudders.

"Ugh! Don't put that image in my head," Ciara cringes. She looks down at the now sleeping boy in her lap. "I know it will happen one day but I never want to know about it."

"I agree," I murmur, looking over at Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan who are all sitting down now and out of danger of being stepped on.

"When I look at her, I still see my little brown-haired waif with her braces and braids," Stella sigh. "She shouldn't be old enough to be living with a boy."

"At least you don't call him _that_ boy like Zander does," I chuckle.

"He really likes Callen but Avery will always be his little girl," Stella sighs. "According to him, he better never make her cry."

"He'd never do anything to hurt her on purpose," Abigail kindly says. "He loves her more than anything." Abigail is playing the part of protective stepmother very well. She and Nathan announced one random Thursday morning not long ago that they had went to the justice of the peace the day before and gotten married, shocking us all and I do mean _all_. Callen didn't even know about their plans. They didn't want any fancy ceremony or a big party. They just want the world to know that they love each other more than anything and want to spend the rest of their lives together. I'm so happy for my uncle. He, too, deserves to be happy after the hell Dru put him through. No one should be treated that way.

"I know that," Stella says. "I was concerned when they first started dating because he was so quiet and brooding, and I hate to admit it but I held his mother and brother's actions against him but I quickly changed my mind. He's a nice young man and my Avery loves him with all her heart. I'm glad they found each other, and I'm glad they're taking things slowly. I'm not ready to be a grandma yet."

"I wouldn't mind that," Abigail says earning a playful scowl from Stella. They have become good friends over the past couple years because of their children dating.

"So how are you feeling, Ciara?" I ask. "I'm so happy for you and James."

"Thanks, Tris," she says. "Although it's too early to find out the sex of this baby, I'm convinced that it's a girl. Everything about this pregnancy is the complete opposite of the first and I mean _everything_. With Lincoln I had morning sickness sometimes three times a day and my breasts were so sore I wanted to cry all the time. My ankles swelled from before I knew I was pregnant until I delivered, and I lost all interest in sex. But this time I can't get enough of James and his cute little tush." We all laugh at her. She's positively glowing as she gazes at her husband. "I'm wearing him out and that has never happened before. He's always been the insatiable one. My breasts don't hurt, and I haven't had morning sickness … not once. If it weren't for the ultrasound picture hanging on our refrigerator and the fact that I've heard its heartbeat on two separate occasions, I wouldn't even know I'm pregnant. So far this is so much easier."

"You're thinking of having another one," Stella says, her eyes locked on mine.

"How do you know that?"

"Oh, honey it's written all over your face," Abigail says.

"Are you two trying?" Ciara asks. I still don't like talking about this subject but I remind myself that these are some of my closest friends.

"No, not yet," I murmur. "We just started discussing it yesterday, as a matter of fact. One minute I'm enjoying my pizza and breadsticks and the next Tyler is asking for a baby brother. The girls aren't on board with that plan though. They informed us they would like a sister. Then they wanted to know how babies get into tummies and I have Tessa asking if I ate Teagan. She was appalled at the thought. It was a _big_ old mess." The women laugh softly with me. "But because of the preeclampsia we have to be careful."

"Let me guess," Stella says, "Four doesn't want to risk it. That would mean he might lose you."

"He goes a little crazy at that thought. We've watched him when you are hurt or sick," Ciara says. "And none of us ever want him to become the man he was before you."

"Was he that different?"

"Night and day," she says. "We tried to set him up with numerous women and I hate to say but even a couple men."

" _What?_ " I laugh at the thought of them thinking that my insatiable man might be gay, and she just shrugs her shoulders.

"He wasn't interested in any of the girls we picked out for him so we began to think he was just too shy or too stubborn, one of the two, to tell us he liked guys instead. He wasn't amused when we gave him Gary's number." Tears are rolling down my face I'm laughing so hard. _That is hilarious._ "I remember the first time he talked about you like it was yesterday. It was the morning after he threw the knives at you. He was pissed at himself because he felt like he had to hurt you to keep you protected from Eric but there was a spark in his eye and an excitement in his voice when he was telling the story that none of us had ever seen before. I knew right then and there that he was in love with you. I think it took him a while longer to figure it out."

"It took us both a while longer," I say, loving the insight into the man I love more than anything on this earth. "Tell me more about him."

"He was rough and gruff and also standoffish. He went out with the guys once in a while but he mostly spent his spare time in the training room, tattoo parlor, or control room. We'd try to include him in group outings like this one and the few times he would come, he'd sit off by himself not speaking to anyone. He was the scariest Dauntless soldier in the compound but at the same time it felt like he didn't quite belong." She's very astute.

"He didn't think he belonged in Dauntless," I confide. "He was going to leave to join his mother with the factionless but then he met me." All three women gasp and I wonder if I did the right thing by telling them that.

"Wow, he must really love you," Ciara says.

"Just a little bit," I giggle and they join me. I watch as Stella's mouth falls open and I follow her gaze and my tongue darts out of my mouth to moisten my suddenly parched lips. All the men have taken off their shirts except Tobias. He still hasn't shared his faction tattoo with anyone but me but I can appreciate the sight before me. Our men are scorching hot! There is just no other way to put it. Even at their age, Zander and Nathan have tight, toned bodies that can make any woman sit up and take notice.

"My God! Why did he have to take his shirt off?" Ciara moans. She squirms a bit and clenches her thighs together tightly, and I realize she wasn't kidding about not getting enough of James. She's acting the way I do when Tobias has me so aroused I can't think straight, which brings a blush to my cheeks. We sit back and watch the action before us, enjoying the game. I watch every move Tobias makes. For as tall and muscular as he is, he's graceful and light on his feet. He dives head first after balls and comes back to his feet like it's nothing. After a couple minutes, I'm squirming in my seat just as much as my friend is and I blush again.

"That's the game!" Tobias says just after he spikes a ball that lands between Zeke and Stefan.

"Let's play again," Zeke whines.

"How about after we eat lunch," I yell, starving in more ways than one. Everyone seems to agree and makes their way back to their own blankets and packed picnic lunches. Tobias and I made turkey and Swiss sandwiches with lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, and dill spread; sweet potato chips; cauliflower, broccoli, celery, and carrot sticks with dill and ranch dipping sauces; and sliced apples with caramel dipping sauce. We also packed a bottle each of apple juice and milk not to mention the two dozen or so bottles of water. I'm not surprised to see everyone's lunch is very similar to ours. Tessa and Teagan both cry as Tobias carries them over from the playground, one under each arm. He had to physically take them off the slide. They're too busy to eat. Tyler comes running ahead of them straight into my arms.

"Hi, Mommy!" he says. "I'm hungry." He looks at everything as Tobias deposits the girls on the blanket then sits beside them.

"No wanna eat," Tessa cries. "I wanna pay!"

"Sorry, little one, but you and Teags both need to eat and rest before you play again." They sit side by side, tears streaming down their faces.

"Stop," Tobias softly but firmly says. "If you don't, there won't be any dessert." _Dessert_? We didn't bring any dessert. They both stop crying but silent tears continue to wet their cheeks. They are so tired. More than likely they will both fall asleep the minute they have their tummies full. I put a plate before each of the girls while Tobias makes Tyler's. Teagan starts eating but Tessa stubbornly crosses her arms over her chest and refuses to eat.

"I have to go potty," she announces 10 minutes later, a pout still on her face.

"Okay," I say. I set my nearly empty plate aside and look at Teagan. "Do you have to go potty?" She shakes her head. "Baby, will you check her diaper after you finish. I have a feeling she's already went."

"You got it, love," he says.

"I never thought the day would come when I saw Four changing a diaper!" Zeke laughs.

"I've changed hundreds of them, idiot," he dryly says.

"I'm not an idiot," he pouts like a two year old. "You're the idiot." Tobias growls.

"Enough name calling, _children_ ," I mutter as I get to my feet, grab a training diaper and wipes out of the bag in case she doesn't make it then drag a squirmy Tessa into my arms. "We'll be right back." I hear my husband and his best friend bantering back and forth as I hurry to the public bathrooms across the street and can't keep the smile off my face.

"I'm very proud of you," I tell Tessa as she sits on the toilet going potty. "You told Mommy you needed to go and didn't potty in your diaper. You're such a big girl." She smiles widely at the compliment. "But big girls eat lunch when their Mommy and Daddy tell them." Her smile disappears and tears flood her eyes. "Aren't you hungry, little one?" She sticks her bottom lip out and nods somberly. "Let's go back and you can eat a sandwich after you tell Daddy you went potty on the potty!"

"Otay!" she says as a few tears escape down her cheeks, twisting my heart. I wipe her with the baby wipe then pull her dry training diaper back in place and fix her clothing then hold her close, kissing away the tears.

"Don't cry, little one," I say. "Mommy's got you. I love you _so_ much." Movement out of the corner of my eye captures my attention and when I turn to see who is coming through the door a flash of red hair quickly moves to the right, out of my line of sight. I narrow my eyes at the now empty doorway trying to figure out who that familiar figure was. When I hear a ghost of a laugh on the warm afternoon breeze, my heart jumps into my throat, my pulse begins to race, and I feel sick to my stomach. " _Olivia_?"


	12. Chapter 12

I stand in the middle of one of the park's many small public restrooms, holding my precious 2-year-old daughter tightly against my chest. One hand is gripping her closely and the other is absentmindedly running up and down her back, trying to soothe her tears. My heart pounds painfully against my ribcage and a powerful wave of nausea crashes into me, threatening to knock me off my feet as my muddled brain tries to figure out what I just saw. I breathe deeply through my nose, trying to make the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach go away. I know without a doubt it can't be who I thought it was. It just can't. _The_ _bitch_ is locked up in the psychiatric wing of the city hospital on a mandatory, involuntary hold where she's been since shortly after she tried to kill me nearly two years ago. They wouldn't just let her out … w _ould they_? I can't bring myself to move thinking that maybe she's hiding just out of sight, ready to attack. I've got to protect my daughter.

"Olivia?" I croak again, something close to panic coursing through my veins. God, I hate how insecure she makes me feel even after all this time. I'm usually much stronger than this but it took a while but I now remember the feel of her blade slicing through my flesh not once but multiple times. I remember lying in the infirmary, fighting to keep my eyes open as Tobias begged me to stay with him. I remember nearly losing that battle. A shudder moves through me, and Tessa cries harder. "Sshh, baby girl! I got you."

"No, Tris, it's just me," Avery says as she prances through the open door and into the dimly lit restroom. She smiles sweetly at me and goes into an empty stall while I learn to breathe again. I'm still rooted in place when she comes out to wash her hands. "Who did you think I was?" When her eyes meet mine and she takes in my appearance, she frowns and concern lights her eyes. "Is something wrong?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," I mutter as my stomach churns again. "Take her." I shove Tessa into Avery's arms and rush into the nearest stall. Just as I lean over the toilet, everything I've eaten today comes rushing back out. Once the heaving stops, I let my head hang for a long moment, making sure I'm okay then flush the toilet. I walk to the sink, a little unsteady on my feet, and splash some cold water on my clammy face. I don't hear anything besides an odd rhythmic whooshing sound in my ears until Avery lays her hand on my shoulder.

"Tris! Should I go get Four? You're scaring me." I rinse my mouth out well then take Tessa into my arms, who has tears running down her face. My poor girl. I think she's worried about me.

"No, that isn't necessary," I say, trying to comfort my daughter but I'm still on edge and I'm sure she can feel the tension in my body. "Was someone just out there when you came in?" I'm trying to not _totally_ freak out but something doesn't feel right about this situation. Am I nuts?

"No," she says, looking toward the empty doorway, confusion on her face. "There's no one out there. Are you sure you're okay? I think I should get Four." She takes a step toward the door but I stop her.

"I thought I saw someone I couldn't possibly have seen, Av," I mutter. A lot of that has been going on here lately as Oliver's face flashes through my mind. "I guess I'm just really tired and my mind is playing tricks on me."

"Who did you think you saw?" she asks, her concern for me visible on her pretty face.

"Nobody important," I mutter, embarrassed by my irrational reaction. _Way to let your imagination run away with you, Tris!_ "Will you walk back over with me?" I ask as Tessa wraps her arms around my neck and presses her tear-stained cheek against mine. I run my hand up and down her back like I did when she was a baby, letting her know the only way I know how that everything is okay.

"Of course," she says. "Are you still feeling sick?"

"No, not at all," I say. "It came on all of a sudden and now it's gone."

"Hhm. Dad told me that there's a stomach bug going around Dauntless," she says. "Maybe you picked it up when you spent all that time with Tyler in the infirmary. How is he, by the way? He looks like he's feeling much better."

"He's back to his old self," I say as I find my son sitting on the red-checked blanket next to his father, looking longingly at the older kids including Zane who are already back on the play equipment. I know he's itching to get back out there himself. "Do me a favor, don't tell Four how you found me." She halts and pulls me to a stop beside her.

"Only if you promise to tell him yourself," she says. "You scared the shit out of me." Her eyes slide to Tessa and she grimaces then looks at me apologetically. "Sorry. He deserves to know."

"Oh, I'll tell him but not right now," I say. "I just want to enjoy our afternoon." She eyes me wearily then pulls me in for a hug.

"I love you, Tris," she says in my ear. "If I find out you didn't tell him, I'll be pissed, and I _can_ kick your ass now. You taught me."

"I love you, too," I say with a small chuckle, hugging her tightly. "I'll tell him." After she releases me, she joins Callen who pulls her down onto their blanket and straight into his arms. Everyone is lazily lying around enjoying the beautiful afternoon.

"There's my girls," Tobias says as I sit Tessa beside Tyler and Teagan on the blanket then follow her down. I get my bottle of juice and take a few sips then slide Tessa's plate in front of her. She immediately starts shoving food in her mouth. "Hey, slow down, Pebbles. I don't want you to choke." She smiles up at her Daddy then looks around.

"I went potty," she whispers so low it seems like she only mouths the words. He leans over and kisses her cheek.

"You did?" he whispers back and she nods. "I'm so proud of you."

"I think it's almost time for you to graduate to big girl panties," I say with a smile.

"Take me soppin'?" she murmurs.

"That's right," I say. "We will have a date just you and me, and we'll shop for your first pairs of big girl panties."

"That's a big deal," Tobias says. "Once you get your big girl panties you officially won't be a baby anymore." Tessa looks up at me, confirming this information and I nod, a reverential smile on my face.

"That's right," I say.

"We'll even have a big celebration that night," Tobias says. He runs his finger down her cheek, and she grins lovingly up at him before getting to her feet and throwing herself in his arms then she hugs me tightly before returning to her meal.

"Can I play?" Tyler asks. I watch him carefully and he looks okay. I move my eyes to Tobias' and he's frowning at me.

"You sure can, buddy," he says. We watch Tyler's face light up and he gets up and joins Zane and his brother and sisters. "What's wrong?" When I look up, I realize Tobias is carefully studying my face. What do I tell him? _I overreacted and made myself sick?_ Sometimes I'm pathetic.

"Can we talk about it later?" I softly ask. He slides closer to me and picks my hand up.

"It's just you and me here, love," he says, tucking a stray lock that escaped my French braid behind my ear. I take a deep breath and sigh.

"It's really embarrassing," I cringe. A look of surprise flashes across his pensive face. This obviously isn't the direction his thoughts had taken him. "I thought I saw … _the_ _bitch_ by the restrooms. It upset me so much that … I got sick." This shocks him. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and his fingers furiously dance over the screen, obviously sending a message to someone.

"Are you all right?" he asks, in pure protection mode now. "Should we go home?" His hands move across my neck, my cheeks, my forehead.

"I'm fine, baby," I say as I softly press my lips to his. "I would really like to stay." I feel some of the tension leave his body as our lips move unhurriedly together. I fist my fingers in his hair and he tightens his grip on my hips as the kiss deepens, getting lost in each other.

" _Seriously!_ " Zeke snickers from right by our heads. "There are children present, _pervs_ , and they don't need to witness this!" Tobias pulls away from me with a growl and turns his hard stare on his best friend but Zeke only belly laughs. I have to admit, though, if he keeps up the teasing today it might be _former_ best friend.

"What are you doing?" Tobias snarls.

"I came to ask you if you want to play another round of volleyball," he says sounding hurt.

"Do I look like I want to play?" he asks, incredulously. Finally, Zeke takes notice of Tobias' sudden bad mood and concern overtakes his face.

"Are you all right, man?" he asks. I can actually hear the love and concern he has for my husband in his voice. "I'm really sorry for the wise cracks. You know sometimes my mouth overrides my brain." Just as Tobias opens his mouth to say something, his phone buzzes. He picks it up, and I watch as his Four mask settles over his face, rendering it completely unreadable, and the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach returns. Zeke's eyes move from my husbands to mine, and he furrows his brows. "What's going on? You're scaring me." Tobias sets his phone down and his eyes quickly scan the perimeter.

" _Oh, my God_! They let her _go_?" I ask, baffled that anyone could be so stupid. She's manipulative _and_ dangerous.

"Not exactly but it could have been her you saw," he says and then calls out, "Zander!" Our friend turns his head at the sound of his name, and when Tobias motions for him to join us, he gets up from where he's lounging with his head in Stella's lap and comes our way.

"What can I do for you, Four?" Tobias gets to his feet and drags Zander about 10 feet away, just out of earshot. I can hear Zeke talking but my attention is solely focused on my husband so I don't have a clue as to what he's saying.

"Tris! What the hell is going on?" Zeke loudly asks, garnering everyone's attention. _Damn it!_ That wasn't my intention.

"I thought I saw Olivia," I quietly say. My friends immediately recognize _the_ _bitch's_ name, and I see concern settle on their faces. They're worried about me. I'm suddenly worried about my sanity. I haven't had to fret about her in nearly two years. I pull Tessa and Teagan into my lap and hold them tightly against my chest.

"Is that what was wrong in the bathroom?" Avery asks. This is turning into a much bigger deal than I wanted to make. _Why does Tobias have to know me so damn well?_

"Yeah," I sigh never taking my eyes off my husband. He finally turns and pins me with his concerned gaze. Zander has his phone out, pressed to his ear, talking animatedly. After what seems like forever, he puts it away and shakes his head rather disgustedly. He says something to Tobias then turns my way but stops in his tracks. I look around and realize everyone is focused on him.

"It was her, wasn't it?" I ask. I can't keep the desperation out of my voice. Tobias sinks to his knees before me and caresses my face. " _Tell_ _me_."

"Olivia's doctors think she's no longer a threat to herself or others," Zander says incredulously, "so she's been granted supervised furloughs from the hospital. Today is such a day. I'm not saying that you saw her but it's entirely possible. They should have at least given me a heads up since I'm one of the doctors on record who committed her. I'm sorry, Tris." I really don't need this stress right now.

"What exactly does this mean?" I ask, my voice surprisingly stronger than I feel. "I could just run into her anywhere?" Acid churns in my stomach again, and I pick up my juice with shaky hands and take a small sip.

"No," Tobias says. "This will never happen again. Zander made sure of that."

"I tried to get her privileges revoked but since I'm not a psychiatrist, my opinion was overruled. However, anytime she leaves the hospital her whereabouts are to be reported to Four, Simon, Tony, and myself," he says. "You never have to see her, Tris." Hearing that makes me feel slightly better, and I begin to relax and the knots in my stomach unravel.

"It sucks that they just let her out from time to time," Will snarls. "If they think she's okay now, why don't they put her on trial? She willingly helped Porter and Molly. People were hurt because of them. People died."

"That's actually a very good point," James says. "It's like she's getting a reward for her bad behavior. She should be getting punished."

"I'll call Jack Kang when I get home and explain the situation," Zander says. "I'll see if he can help us out. She shouldn't be allowed to just walk around free."

"Tomorrow," Stella quietly says.

"I'll call Jack tomorrow," he says and everyone snickers quietly. We all know who where's the pants in that family.

"How about another game of volleyball?" I ask. Everyone looks at me hesitantly. "We were having a lot of fun until the unwanted interruption."

"I'm up for it," Shauna says giving me a wink and I mouth thank you. I want everything back to normal and the focus off me. Most everyone gets up and heads toward the net but Tobias stays put.

"Thank you," I say then I blush. "I feel foolish for my reaction."

"You shouldn't," Tobias says. "She tried to kill you, love." He leans in so only I can hear, "It's okay to be scared even though you are a fierce Dauntless warrior." I breathe deeply, gazing at him. I know he's trying to lighten the mood with humor but he's not smiling. He has tension in his jaw and the worry line between his eyes is prominent. He looks like he's barely holding himself together.

"Are _you_ okay?" I quietly ask him as I run my hand down his cheek.

"You amaze me," he says, an awed expression on his face that confuses me.

"Why?"

"You nearly come face-to-face with the girl who tried to kill you and you're asking if _I'm_ all right."

"Just as much as I don't need the added stress right now, neither do you. It's been a bitch of a 24 hours," I say.

"Yeah it has," he says.

"And what _the_ _bitch_ , Molly, and Drew did, didn't just happen to me. It affected you and the kids as well."

"I don't want you to worry about me," he says.

"Too late," I say. I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and drag his lips to mine.

"You gonna play or make out all afternoon, Four?" Zeke calls out and I giggle. I just know he intentionally waited until we were kissing.

"Go play," I say. I give him another quick peck then pat his cheek lovingly. "I'm going to stay here with the girls and rest. I'm beat. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Love you," Tessa calls out as Teagan says, "Lub 'ou."

"I love you both very much," he says, kissing each of their heads. "You stay here and take care of Mommy, okay?"

"Otay," Tessa says as Teagan say, "'Kay!"

"Let's lie down and watch Daddy play volleyball," I say. I lie on my side with my head propped up on my hand, and the girls lie head-to-head in front of me. Even with all the trash talking, hooting and hollering, and uncontrollable laughter, they fall into an easy sleep within minutes. I watch the game for a while but feel fatigue weighing me down. _I'll just rest my eyes for a moment._

"Mama." The anxious voice sounds so far away. "Mama." It's getting closer and more urgent. " _Mama!_ I gots to potty." Tessa's exclaimed words finally break through the fog of sleep and I sit up, disoriented. I have no idea how long I've been out but the game is still going on so it must not have been too long. I look toward the restroom and anxiety knots my stomach.

"Tobias, baby, I need you!" I call out before thinking and his head whips my way. _God, I just used his given name._ I hear Zeke giving him crap and others laughing. He comes jogging over and I apologize. "I am so sorry. I'm still half asleep."

"That's all right, love," he says, panting from the physical activity. His eyes shine as he caresses my cheek with the back of his fingers. "They all know my name. We're with friends."

"I'm sorry. Tessa needs to go potty," I say, my eyes sliding to the restroom to Tobias and then to Teagan who is sound asleep before me. "Can you stay with, Teags?"

"Nope," he says, shaking his head. "I'll take her. Come on, Pebbles." He picks her up, blows a raspberry on her neck, making her giggle, grabs the diaper bag, and then gives me a smile and a wink. Tessa waves to me over his shoulder as he carries her across the street. When they go in the men's room, I dig my bottle of juice out of the cooler and take a few refreshing sips then lie back, resting on my elbows. I see that Tyler and Zane have abandoned the swings and are resting comfortably with the Parrish twins, watching the game. I'm thankful he's resting on his own and not having to be told. It makes my life much easier. When my tummy grumbles, I get the small package of cheese and crackers out of the cooler. I'm nibbling on the snack when Tessa comes running up and launches herself into my arms.

"I goed potty on the potty," she says, a brilliant smile on her face. She's proud of herself and she should be.

"Good job," I say as I wrap my arms tightly around her and kiss her head.

"I hungwy, Mama," she says eying the snack beside me.

"You can have some," I say.

"Don't eat too much," Tobias says. "You won't be hungry for dessert."

"We don't have any dessert," I quietly say. A grin overtakes his face as he lowers himself to the blanket.

"You'll see, love," he says, kissing my cheek. He gets a bottle of water out of the cooler, unscrew the top, and nearly drains it in three long gulps. God, I'm a mess today. He's turning me on just by drinking.

"Are you going to play some more?" I ask, my eyes roaming up and down his sexy, well-defined arms.

" _Ahem_." My eyes slide up to his when he clears his throat, and he's wearing a positively indecent smirk. "My eyes are up here. I'm not some piece of meat." I flush but can't help but grin.

"Was I objectifying you again?" I ask, batting my lashes at him.

"I'm more than a pretty face you know." When he sticks his bottom lip out, fake pouting, I pounce, knocking him back to the ground. I kiss him ferociously as I hear Tessa giggling.

"Mama, Dadda! 'Top!" We tear our lips away from each other's, and we start peppering kisses all over our oldest daughter. She squeals with delight then laughs heartily.

"What are you doing to Tess?" Tyler asks, his eyes wide. He's huffing and puffing from running over to save his sister. He may say that he wants a baby brother because his sisters are _yucky_ but he loves them dearly and would do anything to protect them. Tobias grabs ahold of him as I pull Tessa into my lap and tickles him softly then peppers kisses all over _his_ face.

"Daddy!" he laughs loudly. "Quit it!" Tobias stops but keep him in his grip.

"I love you, buddy," Tobias says, completely serious while hugging him tightly.

"I love you, too," he softly says reminding me that he's almost at the age where telling your parents you love them is a crime. I hug Tessa tightly then let her go when she starts to struggle.

"Have I told you today how much I love you?" I ask Tyler. He shakes his head. "I love you to the moon and back and to the stars and back and to the other side of the galaxy and back." Tyler's eyes widen and then I see tears gather in them. _Oh! I didn't mean to make him cry._

"That's a long way," he whispers then throws himself in my arms. "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you, too, my sweet boy," I say right next to his ear, holding onto him tightly then I kiss his head. "Don't ever forget that." I don't know why but Tessa starts crying … loudly. "What is it, little one?" She incoherently mumbles something then cries even louder, big crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks, breaking my heart. "Come here." She obviously didn't sleep long enough. I move Tyler to my left leg and pull Tessa into my lap, too. "See there's enough room for both of you." I kiss each of their heads and they grin up at me.

"Sit, too," Teagan says, rubbing her eyes as she sits up.

"Did you have a good nap, Teags?" I ask as she gets to her feet and stands before me. She nods.

"Why don't you sit with me?" Tobias asks but she stubbornly shakes her head.

"Mama," she murmurs. I pull my legs up until I'm sitting cross-legged then let her squeeze between her brother and sister.

"I need a picture of this," Tobias says, pulling his phone out. "Everyone smile and say cheese." I smile and we all say cheese as Tobias takes a couple shots.

"Get in the picture, Four," Stella says as she takes his phone from him.

"Thanks," he says. He sits behind me and puts his head just over my shoulder then we once again smile for the camera.

"That's a good one," she says as she admires her handiwork. "You might want this one framed." She hands the phone back to Tobias, and he shows me the snapshot.

"Look, guys," he says holding it out for the kids to see. "You were all smiling so nicely. Stella is right, we're going to frame this one." They all admire the pretty picture. "Who wants dessert?" The kids go wild, and I frown still not knowing where this mythological dessert is coming from.

"Are we ready for ice cream?" James calls out. Tobias nods.

"We've been taking turns churning homemade ice cream for more than an hour now. You were napping with the girls," Tobias says pointing to where James, Stefan, and Trevor are sitting.

"This is a nice surprise," I say.

"We wanted to do something nice for our girls. You guys have been working so hard lately," he says. "So, we decided on an ice cream sundae bar. I think we have every topping known to man. What would you like?"

"Chocolate strawberry," I say.

"Okay. What about you, buddy?"

"Hhm. I want crushed up cookies and peanut butter," he says and my stomach flip flops. That sounds awful.

"Tessa?"

"'Trawbewwy," she says.

"Strawberry?" he confirms and she nods eagerly. "What about you, Teags?"

"Chokit," she says.

"Chocolate?"

"Mm-hm," she sweetly says.

"Chocolate cookies, chocolate sauce, or chocolate sprinkles?" he asks.

"Chokit!" she says, nodding her head.

"All righty then! I'll be right back, my beautiful family."

"Did you know we was having ice cream today?" Tyler asks, his eyes on his dad.

"No. It was a surprise," I say.

"A good surprise?" he asks.

"Ice cream is _always_ a good surprise," I chuckle, causing him to smile brightly.

"Okay," Tobias says as four sundaes precariously balance in his hands. "One strawberry." He hands Tessa her treat after the kids move off my lap. "One peanut butter with crushed cookies." Tyler reaches out and takes the dish with a thank you. "One hot fudge." Teagan frowns.

"Chokit," she pouts.

"It is chocolate, sweetheart," he says. "Here you go."

"Be careful. It's hot," I tell her. "Don't burn your tongue." She looks down into her bowl and blows on it, making me chuckle.

"And lastly, one strawberry and hot fudge," he says, a roughness to his voice as he hands me my sweet treat. I wonder what it's about.

"Where's yours?" I ask as I dig in. I moan loudly around the first sinful bite. _Damn, that's good!_ Just like a chocolate covered strawberry, which is one of my favorite treats.

"I'll have my treat later," he says. Even though the statement itself is innocuous enough, the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes nearly set me ablaze. It's a good thing I have something cold in my hands right now.

"Would you like a bite?" I ask, my voice raspy, suddenly full of desire.

"Oh, I'll have a taste later," he promises as he winks flirtatiously. He's absolutely mischievous today.

"Are we going to be able to play some more?" Tyler asks as he takes his last bite.

"I want you to rest a little while but then you can play," Tobias says.

"Me too?" Tessa asks. I get a wipe out and eradicate the strawberry residue off her face, hands, legs, and overalls. I should have put a bib on her, too. I look at Teagan and cringe. She has more hot fudge on her hands and face than probably made it into her tummy but her outfit is saved by the long bib I tied around her neck before her first bite.

"All three of you can," I say. "You done, Teags?" She shakes her head no and puts another bite of the now liquid hot fudge and ice cream mixture in her mouth. Well some makes it into her mouth, the rest dribbles on the bib. "Maybe you should drink it."

"Dink it?" she asks looking puzzled.

"Yeah. Drink it like you do the milk left over after you've eaten all your cereal," I say. Her eyes light up with understanding, and I intercept the spoon just before she lays it in the grass. She tips the bowl up, drinking the melted ice cream as I get out several wipes.

She sets the bowl down with a big, "Ah!" then swipes her arm across her face, making an even bigger mess.

"Was that good?" Tobias asks and she grins from ear to ear.

"Let me clean you up," I say and carefully remove the bib. I wipe her sticky hands and chocolate-smeared face then make sure none of it hit her outfit. "There you go. Good as new." Tobias takes a wipe and hands it to Tyler.

"Wipe your hands and face please," he says. Tyler takes the wipe and quickly but thoroughly swipes it across his mouth and chin then wipes his hands.

"Can we play now?" he asks.

"Yeah, can we pay?" Tessa asks.

"Just take it easy and if your stomach starts to hurt, come back and sit down. That goes for all three of you," I say. "I don't want you sick." We watch as the scurry off to the play equipment. Not a minute later all the Parrish kids join them, and I know we won't see them for the rest of the afternoon.

"I have an idea, guys," Zeke says. "How long has it been since we played dare?"

"Considering I really have no idea what that is, I'd say never," Will says as he releases Liam who immediately joins the other kids.

"It's been that long?" James mutters. "That's hard to believe."

"What is dare?" Kevin asks. He's sitting next to Murphy with his arm draped over her shoulder and her hand is resting on his thigh. Last year his ex-girlfriend from Erudite, Aimee, joined Dauntless and stirred up trouble for the happy couple. We practically had to stage an intervention to get her to leave him alone. He calmly explained to her, in the middle of the crowded cafeteria nonetheless, that he would have waited for her but that she made it perfectly clear when she broke things off that she wouldn't be following him to Dauntless so he moved on. He then turned his back on his ex and strode back to our table and kissed the shit out of Murphy, and they aren't ones for public displays of affection. That was the first time he told her that he loved her. All the girls had tears in their eyes including me.

"Well, it's basically Candor or Dauntless without the truth option," Tobias says. "And we aren't playing that right now."

"Not now, Four," Zeke says, exasperatedly. "Next Saturday night. All you parents get sitters."

"Sounds fun," I say, "but can we limit the amount of alcohol consumed?" I pointedly look at Zeke, thinking of the disastrous Candor or Dauntless that nearly cost him Shauna, and I think I see him blush.

"Definitely," Tobias says. "Only bring a flask or two. We're adults. We shouldn't need to get fall-down drunk to have a good time."

"As much as we want to say yes, that is our anniversary," Ciara says as she looks longingly at James. I have a feeling those two will be leaving here shortly and probably do a little early celebrating. He leans over and lightly places his lips exactly where her neck tattoo is and she giggles. "Plus, I shouldn't be jumping on and off of trains in my condition."

"Anyone else have to bow out?" Zeke asks. One by one all our other friends agree to the game. I'm interested to see how it goes, knowing that a game of dare is when Tobias got his first tattoo. I need to start thinking of a really good dare. If I understand correctly, each person only gets one but with as many people as there will be, the game could last most of the night. "Will, you let Christina know and Marlene, will you tell the pansycake?"

"Yeah," she says as she rolls her eyes. "I'll let your _brother_ know."

"I'll tell Brody and Ana," I say.

"This has been a wonderful day," Stella says with a sigh. "It's nice to get out of the compound once in a while."

"It is," Nathan says. "Four, how is the construction of Dauntless 2.0 going?" That's what everyone is calling the building being refurbished for the older Dauntless members instead of making them factionless.

"It's nearing completion," he says.

"It's really nice," Shauna interjects. "The workers are doing a great job. It may not look like much from the outside but on the inside, it resembles some of the newer construction around the city. I'm glad we decided to do it. I've never been comfortable with the fact that one day I would be factionless just because walking around our compound was a hardship. Talk about throwing someone away."

"That's how I felt," I say.

"If it weren't for this one's persistence," Tobias kisses my neck, "that building would still be falling down and we all would face a bleak future." I blush at Tobias' compliment.

"It made perfect sense to me," I say. I look to my left and easily find the kids taking turns on the slide. They all look so happy. "Every Dauntless member deserves respect. How disrespectful must it feel to hear, 'Sorry, you gotta go. We don't want you anymore?'"

"What you did was a great thing," Zander says.

"I only made a suggestion," I say. "Four is the one who turned my idea into a plan and made sure it happened."

"Here's to our fearless leader," Will says holding a bottle of water up in toast. "You've made Dauntless a much better place."

"Here here," several of our friends say as they raise their drinks to my husband but he shrugs off the attention.

"I'm only doing what I think is right," he grunts.

"You're doing a great job," Stella says.

"How long before capture the flag?" Stefan asks, changing the subject.

"A couple weeks," James replies. "Why?"

"Trevor and I want in on the action this year," he says.

"That's right, man," his twin brother says, bumping fists with him. "I haven't played since my initiation. It's long overdue."

"I'll shoot you a message with the date and time," Tobias says. "All you have to do to play is show up."

"Awesome," he says. Cries from the play area capture my attention, and I leap out of Tobias' lap and run toward where Teagan is lying on the ground. Every step I take feels like I'm trudging through drying concrete as I try to get to my motionless daughter. My heart stills and my head pounds.

"What happened?" I yell as I fall to my knees beside my baby.

"Don't move her," Zander calls as I reach for her. Just as he falls to his knees beside me, she takes a deep, gasping breath and starts wailing at the top of her lungs. _Thank God!_

"She falled off the swing," Tyler says, tears streaming down his face. I see Tobias scoop him up but my focus is on my baby right now. _Please don't let her be hurt._ Zander does a quick examination, focusing on her head and neck first then working his way to her torso and limbs before letting me gather her up in my arms.

"It looks like she just got the wind knocked out of her," he says. "There are no bumps or abrasions. She's fine but it can be a very scary experience." Her arms are gripped tightly around my neck like an iron vice. I don't think she's going anywhere in the near future. I sit with her, patting her back, trying to comfort her. I can actually breathe again myself. I was so scared. When I saw her lying on the ground not moving, terrible thoughts ran through my head.

"Are you okay?" I ask her but she says nothing and doesn't move. She just continues crying. "Was it scary when you couldn't breathe?" She nods. "Mommy is _so_ sorry, Peanut. I love you very much, baby girl." She doesn't even argue with me when I call her my baby.

"Lub 'ou, Mama," she whispers in my ear.

"I think we need to go home," Tobias says. "Tyler, Tessa, say bye to your friends."

"Bye, Wiam," Teagan quietly says as Tyler and Tessa say goodbye to Zane, Nash, Nya, Sabine, and Lincoln who is being supervised by Ciara.

"I'll bring the volleyball net home," Zeke tells Tobias. I get to my feet and wonder how I'm going to get her in her car seat without her throwing a fit. Everyone says goodbye, most of them giving her kisses and well wishes while Tobias packs the trunk.

"Come on," he says as he picks up Tyler and Tessa under each arm and carries them to the car like sacks of potatoes.

"We had a really nice time today," I say. "Sorry we have to leave early."

"Come on, Liam," Will says. "We need to go, too. Mommy will be off work soon." He frowns but doesn't argue with his father.

"Are you sure he's Christina's?" Zeke calls out, teasing. It's nice to know that he spreads the love.

"Positive," Will smirks, knowing exactly what he means. Christina tells it like it is, and if she's not happy, she lets you know. But not her handsome baby boy. He's more reserved like his father.

"How am I going to get her in her seat?" I ask Tobias. He looks at her then grins.

"She's asleep," he says. "She was just scared."

"So was I," I say. He opens the door and I get her buckled into her seat without waking her and make sure she's okay.

"Zander, is it okay that she's sleeping?" I ask. "She already had a rather long nap." He comes over to the car and checks on her.

"She's fine, Tris," he says. "She's just napping." I wrap my arms around him and give him a big hug.

"Thank you so much," I say. "Also, thanks for coming today. It was nice to see you, Stella, and the kids."

"I loved every second," he says, looking over to where Stella is talking to Avery and Callen. "Even the time I had to spend with _that_ boy."

"You sound just like my dad did when he found out about Four," I chuckle. "It was rough but I set him straight."

"What did you tell him?" he asks, sounding curious.

"That Four was the best man I had ever known and that he didn't have to like the fact that I was dating him. I told him he just needed to love me but it was a rough road. Dad hit him when he found out we were engaged." Zander's eyes widen. I see Tobias rubbing his jaw out of the corner of my eye, probably remembering the punch.

"Your father is Abnegation," he says, obviously in shock.

"He is," Tobias says, "but first and foremost he's a father. I've never blamed him for how he felt about me in the beginning and I never will. I have two daughters now. I know how he felt."

"I love Callen, I really do and he's such a good kid. It's hard to believe he's Dauntless. He acts a lot like an Amity." He does! "But she's my little girl. I'll kill him if he ever hurts her."

"Believe me, he knows this and respects you for it," Tobias says. "It means you love his girl as much as he does. We've got to go."

"I'll see you guys later," he says.

"Bye," I say. "Kiss your wife for me."

"I'll do a lot more than that!"

" _Ew!_ Did you just say that?" I blush as an embarrassed giggle erupts from my lips.

"I did," he proudly says. "Bye, Tris. Bye, Four."

"Bye, Zander," we say as we get in the car.

"Listen peas!" Tessa says.

"Sure," I say as I plug my phone into the car's sound system. She doesn't care what type of music it is as long as she can sway to it so I put on our love song playlist. As soon as our song _Fade into You_ comes through the speakers Tessa starts swaying back and forth gently in her car seat. I give her a big smile then look at Tobias who has a smoldering look on his face, and I notice his eyes are dilated. I reach over and rest my hand on his knee, and he captures it with his and brings it up to kiss the palm. My man is _so_ horny today.

"Are you ready to go, baby?" I ask.

"More than ready, love."


	13. Chapter 13

The ride home from the park is a leisurely one. We listen to the rhythmic love songs softly playing through the speakers of the car stereo in companionable silence. Tessa sways in her car seat until she actually rocks herself to sleep. Tyler gives in to pure exhaustion and his head hangs forward, nearly touching his chest as he naps. Teagan mumbles something incoherently in her sleep every once in a while but those little whispered words are like music to my ears after seeing her lying in the sand beneath the swings so still. My hand is still resting on Tobias' knee with his hand over it, our fingers threaded together.

I stare out my passenger window, the passing scenery one big blur, thinking about what he said he was going to do to me tonight. _Pampering_? He takes care of every single need I have and those I don't even anticipate on a daily basis. What more could I ask of him? I couldn't have asked for a better husband but I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm looking forward to locking myself away with him tonight. We may have made love last night and twice this morning but that slightly irrational need to rip each other's clothes off when we're stressed is running like a current just beneath the surface.

After looking in the rearview mirror and confirming that the kids are still sound asleep, Tobias pulls the car to a gentle stop alongside the curb in front of the Pire and turns the engine off.

"How about I get the girls and you get Tyler?" he softly suggests. "I'll put the car away later."

"That sounds like a good idea," I say. We get out of the car after a soft kiss, and he easily lifts Tessa into his arms then I carefully hand him Teagan. After moving her car seat out of my way, I lean across the back seat and drag Tyler into my arms, miraculously not waking him up. We carry our worn out kids by our offices, up to our apartment, and into their rooms to continue their naps. I grab the baby monitor from my nightstand and set it on the end table before Tobias and I collapse side by side onto the couch.

"Did you have a good time today?" he asks as he puts his arm around me and pulls me close to him. I tuck my legs under me then rest my head on his chest and my hand on his thigh.

"Everything about today has been wonderful so far … except for what happened in the bathroom," I say with a frustrated sigh. "The worst part is, I'm not entirely sure _exactly_ what I saw and heard but it … terrified me." The last two words are little more than an embarrassed utterance. "I guess we've become so complacent that just the _thought_ of her coming back into our lives to terrorize us freaked me out. It _literally_ made me sick, Tobias."

"I'm so sorry, love," he says, tightening his hold on me and kissing the top of my head. "I'm never going to let you go to that damn bathroom by yourself ever again. First Molly confronted you and now Olivia! It's not safe."

"I probably wouldn't have been so scared if Tessa hadn't been with me," I softly say, remembering the fear that tightened my chest making it almost impossible to breathe, and a shudder moves through me. "I was frightened for her not me. I didn't know how I was supposed to keep her safe. I didn't know if I could. I was worried _the_ _bitch_ was lying in wait for me and that my baby would be an innocent casualty. I couldn't stand it if something happened to Tyler, Tessa, or Teagan … or _you_ because of some crazy girl's vendetta against me. I still can't believe the hospital thinks that she's better."

"I'm only playing devil's advocate here but what if…"

"What if she really _is_ better?" I finish for him a little irritated at where his thoughts are taking him. "She deluded herself into thinking she was having a _relationship_ with you and that I was standing in the way of _your_ happiness. She wanted me dead, baby. Thoughts like that don't simply go away." At least that's what her doctors told Zander. "I will never trust that she just woke up one day and thought, 'Tobias belongs with Tris. I'll leave them alone from now on.'" I scoff at the thought. "She was manipulative, calculating, depraved, _dangerous_ , and she set her sights set on you. What's the quickest way to try and win your love? Convince her doctors that she's changed, that she isn't a threat anymore so she has access to the outside world."

"Don't," he quietly yet forcefully says. "I don't want you tied up in knots worrying about that insignificant girl."

"The same insignificant girl who tried to _murder_ me?" He drags me up into his lap and stares deeply into my eyes.

"Where is my tough as nails girl?" he asks, worry etching lines on his face. Traitorous tears spring into my eyes. I'm kind of wondering the exact same thing at the moment. I'm an emotional mess today. It must be PMS. _God, I hate PMS._ He gently cups my face with his palms and wipes the tears away with his thumbs. "She's not going to be a problem for you. I won't allow it, love. Zander made sure that from now on we'll be informed of her whereabouts at all times. You won't accidentally run into her." I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder. He runs his hands up and down my back comforting me, loving me. "I'll never let her hurt you ever again, Tris. I'll kill her first." I sit up and look him in the eye. He means what he says; he would kill for me. I know that on some level that should scare me but it doesn't. It makes me feel safe, secure, and most of all loved.

"I worry about you and the kids also," I say. "What if she were to slip her detail? What if she decided that if she couldn't have you, no one could? What if in her delusional state she viewed the kids as a threat to you?"

"Hey, enough of the 'what ifs,'" he sternly says.

"You started it," I pout and he chuckles.

"I guess I deserve that," he says. "What can I do to make you believe that she won't hurt you, she won't hurt me, and she sure as hell won't hurt our kids?"

"Lock her up," I say.

"You've got it," he says. "I will do _everything_ in my power to make sure that she pays for her crimes but you know that what she did wasn't serious enough to warrant the death serum."

"I want her memory erased so she forgets you," I say. I've thought about this long and hard. "I don't think I'm a vindictive person but I want her to forget that Ethan Black ever asked her to come into our lives. I want her to forget that she ever laid eyes on you. I want her gone." He sighs and pulls me closer to him, and I return my head to his shoulder.

"I'll make this right," he whispers in my ear. "I promise."

"So what would you like for supper?" I ask after we've been quiet for a few minutes.

"I've got it under control," he says. "I'm pampering _you_ tonight, remember?" I can't hold my smile back. _Of course, I remember!_

"I thought you were just going to pamper me in the bedroom," I say, my voice sounding husky. _God, is it time yet?_

"Believe me, I have a lot of surprises in store for you tonight, love," he says. I'm thinking of moving my legs to straddle his lap for a little impromptu make out session before the kids wake up when there's a knock on the door. "And there's your first one." He kisses me just below my sensitive left ear and I shiver in his arms. "You better answer it." I untangle myself from his embrace as I furrow my brows at him.

"What did you do?" I ask. He remains stubbornly mute as I walk to the door. I yank it open to find Avery, Christina, and Ana on the other side. As happy as I am to see them, I can't keep the confusion off my face. "Uh, hi, guys."

"Hello!" they all say in unison.

"Are you ready to go?" Ana excitedly asks.

"Go where?" I slowly ask not looking at my friends but over my shoulder at Tobias. _I'm not going anywhere tonight except to bed with my sexy as hell husband._

"We're having a girls' night," Christina matter-of-factly says as she drapes her arm over my shoulder, turns me around, and leads me back into my living room. _Girls' night?_ "It's Four's gift to all of us and I tell you what, I need some pampering at the spa, not that Will isn't doing a good job…"

"Too much information," I groan, interrupting her. She flashes me a wicked grin indicating I'll get details … _lots_ of details later.

"We haven't done this in so long," Avery says, matching Ana's enthusiasm. "I had such a hard time keeping my mouth shut today. I almost asked you a hundred times if you were as excited as I am."

"We're going to the spa?" I can't hide my surprise or my reluctance. But Avery is right. It's been months since we got together, just the four of us, but it's been even longer than that since we hit the salon for a relaxing spa day. "Can you guys give me a sec?" I make the short trip back to my smiling husband. "I have to admit when you said you were going to pamper me I thought we'd have amazing sex and that was it."

"You are a hard working mother of three who doesn't get enough time with your friends," he says as he wraps me in a big, warm, loving embrace, resting his palms flat against my back so low that his fingers are splayed over my back side. "When you get home, I'll give you all the amazing sex you can handle." His mouth is right up next to my ear so I know no one else can hear him but I flush anyway. "So please, go out and have fun with your friends." Suddenly I feel just as excited as they all do. I get to spend the evening with my friends and all night with him. It's the best of both worlds!

"Thank you, baby," I say. I give him a quick kiss on the cheek knowing that if our lips meet right now we would be giving my friends a free show. "I need to say goodbye to the kids. I'll be right back down." I fly up the stairs and into Tyler's room. He's still sound asleep. I kiss his head, tell him I love him, then go into the nursery where I find my girls standing in their cribs talking to each other quietly.

"Hi, Mama!" Teagan says, her eyes lighting up when she sees me. "Out." She holds her arms out to me, bouncing excitedly.

"Hi, Teags," I say as I lift her into my arms. I step to Tessa's crib and deposit her next to her sister. "I want to talk to you two for a minute."

"Otay," Tessa says and Teagan just grins.

"Mommy is going out for the evening with Christina, Avery, and Ana," I say.

"We go?" they both ask at the same time, a look of expectation on their little faces. I hate to disappoint them but I need adult conversation from time to time with someone other than Tobias.

"No, not tonight. Some other time," I say and their faces fall. They love spending time with my friends just as much as I do but I can't always take them with me everywhere I go. "I need you both to do me a _big_ favor." They look up at me like they would do anything I ask right now, which is a bit of a rarity. "I need you to take really good care of Daddy for me tonight. I won't be here to do it. Can you do that for Mommy?"

"Yeah!" Tessa says as Teagan nods her head.

"When he asks you to do something, I need you to do it right away and not argue with him. Also, don't fight with Tyler or each other and try not to make any messes. Can you do that for me?"

"I be good for Dadda," Tessa says.

"And what about you, Teags?"

"I good," she says.

"You are both such good girls," I say as I lift Tessa into my arms. I hug her tightly, kiss her face and head, and then set her on the ground at my feet. She hugs onto my leg, squeezing as tightly as she can as I lift Teagan into my arms.

"Lub 'ou, Mama." She puckers up and leans in and gives me a big wet kiss.

"Oh, I love you, too, baby girl," I say without thinking and she frowns.

"Not, bebe," she mutters and I know that she's back to normal after her unfortunate tumble this afternoon.

"You will always be one of my babies even when you are all grown up," I say, hugging her tightly.

"Weally?"

"Yes, really," I say as she throws her arms around my neck.

"I love you, Mama," Tessa says, pouting from a lack of attention in the last 30 seconds. I squat down and wrap my arm around her, getting a firm grip, and then stand up with both of them in my arms.

"I love you, too, little one," I say. "Both of you hold on tight." Tessa wraps her arms around my neck just above Teagan's, and I carry them downstairs. "I'm ready to go."

"Dadda, I good," Teagan says, reaching for him.

"I know," he says as he takes both giggling girls from my arms.

"Thank you for this," I say. "It's very thoughtful." He kisses the top of my head then pushes me toward the door, our girls still wrapped safely in his strong arms.

"Have fun, love," he says.

"Oh, we will!" Christina says and I can't help but chuckle.

"Thanks, Four," Ana and Avery say at the same time.

"You're all very welcome," he says. I watch him over my shoulder, leaning against the doorjamb a smoldering look on his face as I descend the stairs, my girls in his arms until I can no longer see them.

"So why is your husband trying to get rid of you for the evening?" Christina asks as we make our way down the path to the salon.

"He doesn't want to get rid of me," I defensively say, my voice at least three octaves higher than it normally is. "He's just being nice."

"But Four doesn't _do_ nice," Avery chuckles.

"He's _very_ nice to me," I murmur with a sappy smile on my face.

"Ugh! I really don't want to hear about all the odd places you two have done it," Christina says and my face goes instantly red. So much for confiding in my best friend. She's becoming just as bad at teasing as Zeke. "Been to the Ferris wheel lately?" Ana and Avery look at each other with confusion on their faces then their mouths drop open.

"You had sex on the Ferris wheel?" Ana squeaks and I blush an even deeper crimson color. _Damn it, Christina!_ Avery just gawks at me, unable to speak.

"Don't make me hate you, _Christy_?"

"Don't call me that," she mutters. "Only Will and your sweet babies get to call me that."

"You seriously had sex … _outside_?" Avery whispers. Poor Avery … so sheltered. She blushes just as much as I do when the subject of sex comes up.

"They do it all sorts of weird places," Christina matter-of-factly says.

" _Christina_!" I'm going to kill her. " _Enough_!"

"You're no fun," she mutters under her breath then loops her arm with mine. "I'll drop the subject … _for_ _now_."

"What treatments are you guys going to get at the spa?" Ana asks excitedly. "I'm going to get everything done. I neglected myself getting ready for initiation." I look at her and mouth thank you. Ana and Avery know that Christina doesn't mean any harm but she can be a bit overwhelming, especially when she wants details of our sex lives.

"I want a massage," I say.

"Nope," Christina says. I look up at her with questioning eyes.

"Four said you can have any spa treatment except a massage," Avery says with a shrug.

"You know what that means, right?" Christina asks. I shake my head. "Isn't it obvious? He's going to give you a massage when you get home."

"Hhm. I never thought of that," I say. I like it when he gives me a massage. His big hands knead my tired, sore muscles thoroughly and he turns me into a relaxed, boneless, bag of goo. A smile turns up my lips and the girls' chuckle.

"Is he that good with his hands?" Christina asks and I nod.

"He gave me my first massage when I was pregnant," I say. "If there's one thing I would want him to do more often, it's a massage. I swear his hands make every problem seem insignificant." A soft moan escapes my lips thinking about it.

"I say we all skip the massage table and ask our guys for a massage tonight," Ana says, dragging her phone out. "Brody's hands are pretty magical, too." Christina nods and sends Will a quick text, obviously thinking it sounds like a great idea.

"Callen's never given me a massage," Avery says as we turn into salon. She pulls her phone out and sends him a text. "But he is tonight."

"Good for you," Ana says. "All you really need is a good lotion and a place to lie down." We approach the counter where Alicia, the newly appointed salon manager is standing.

"Hi girls," she says. She started out as the receptionist and worked her way up rather quickly. She's wonderful at her job.

"Hey, Alicia," I say.

"We're ready for you," she says. "Four gave instructions that this is to be a private party so the salon will be closed to additional members."

"Oh, no," I say. "I don't think that's what he meant. You don't have to close."

"He gave me very strict instructions, Tris. I will be following them to the letter. I like my job too much not to," she says. She goes to the door and turns the lock and puts a sign in the window telling other Dauntless members that it's closed for a private party for the rest of the evening. "The entire salon is available to you except for the massage tables. Your supper will be served at 8 p.m. in the waiting area just off the changing rooms."

"Thank you, Alicia," I say. "I hope this wasn't too much trouble."

"It was no trouble whatsoever," she says.

"I'm getting a scrub and a wrap," Christina says.

"I definitely want a facial," Ana says.

"A mani/pedi for me," Avery says.

"I don't know what to get," I say as we walk to the dressing rooms. "I feel selfish."

"Call Four," Christina says as she heads into her dressing room.

"Why?" I ask.

"Just do it," Ana and Avery say then disappear behind separate curtains. I go into my private dressing room and am greeted by a dozen Beatrice roses and tears spring into my eyes. I sit on the plush, antique-looking red and black chaise lounge and look around the small space. I think the salon needs to be added to my list. I would love to have my way with Tobias in here right this instant. I pull out my phone and hit the talk button on his picture.

"I knew you would call, love," he says.

"This is too extravagant, Tobias," I say. I'm not whispering but I keep my voice low. "You shouldn't have closed the whole place down. It's selfish, baby. What about their other clients?"

"It's not selfish, Tris," he says. "I wanted to do something nice for you. You deserve a little spoiling every once in a while. You work your fingers to the bone at work and again at home taking care of the apartment. You're raising my three kids. You put up with my stubborn ass." He moves the phone and I hear him tell someone not to say ass and I can't help but chuckle. "So get every treatment they offer. Splurge a little then come home to me."

"I can't wait to come home to you," I say. I can hear the longing in my voice.

"Believe me, it will be worth the wait."

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" I ask.

"I don't think you have." I hear teasing in his voice.

"I love you so damn much, Mr. Eaton," I say. "I can't wait for your hands to be all over me, inside me." A low growl pierces the phone.

"I love you, Mrs. Eaton," he says. "Take your time, enjoy your friends, then come home to me." He lowers his voice and adds, "I'm already hard for you." I gasp.

"I'm coming right now," I say, breathlessly.

"No. Not yet, love," he says. "I'm not ready yet and the kids are very much wide awake." And apparently dancing around repeating the word ass.

"Okay. I'll relax but only for you," I say. "I'll see you later, baby. I love you."

"I love you more."

"Not possible."

"Stop having phone sex and get your ass out here," Christina says through the curtain, startling me.

"Have you noticed that Zeke and Christina have become the same person?" I ask Tobias and she cackles loudly. "I'll be out in a minute, _Christy_." That should show her! "Bye, baby. I'll see you soon. Kiss the kids for me."

"I will. Bye, love." I hang up, strip out of my clothes, and don the short, black silk salon robe. I put my belongings in the wardrobe and walk out into the waiting room.

"We're starting with a body scrub and wrap and then move on to facials," Ana says.

"Sounds good," I say. An hour later my skin feels softer than it ever has. The only bad part was when the salon technician gave me a questioning look when she saw the bruise on my upper arm. Thankfully, I was turned away from my friends and they haven't seen it yet. I know Tobias didn't mean to do it and he'll never do it again but I have to admit, it looks pretty bad. It's purple and green with no signs of going away any time soon. I just hope a nasty rumor doesn't start because of it.

"What should we do next?" Christina asks.

"Mani/pedi," Avery says. "My feet need some serious help." Ana holds up her hands, showing us her red, raw knuckles.

"Do you think they can do anything about these?" she asks.

"What in the world have you been doing?" I ask as I examine her fingers.

"Teaching the transfers how to fight," she says with a shrug. I glance at Christina's pristine hands and furrow my brows.

"Have you been fighting _with_ the initiates?" I ask.

"No, just the bags," she says. "When Brody and I aren't assessing the transfers we're on the bags with them. We've noticed some great improvement, although there's no real way to know if it's because of that."

"Four and I will come observe early next week," I say. "I'm interested in knowing if they are interacting with the bags differently because you're right there practicing alongside of them. How was Hector today?"

"No. No. No." I look at Avery. "No shop talk. We're here to _relax_."

"You're absolutely right," I say. "Sorry. Sometimes I have a hard time shutting it off." Christina and I sit in the pedicure chairs and make small talk about husbands and kids while Ana and Avery have their nails done then we switch places. After our nails are clipped, buffed, and polished, we are lead to the small waiting area near the dressing rooms. I'm the last to walk through the door and I gasp. On every available surface of the room are dozens of red, white, and pink roses. There has to be hundreds here. A small round table in the center of the room, illuminated by a single pendant light with a barrel shade, is draped with a crisp white tablecloth and is set with four place settings. The centerpiece is a low arrangement of the unique black and red roses Tobias had made for me for our anniversary. There's a name card on each place setting, indicating where we are each to sit. After we take our seats we're served warm breadsticks and ice cold sparkling cider.

"This is amazing," Avery says as she takes a bite of her favorite dish from the Italian restaurant in the city center, chicken parmesan. We shared a plate of bruschetta and a large bowl of salad then were served our personal favorites. I take slow bites, savoring the flavor of the lasagna. I just can't duplicate it at home. I've tried several times.

"Four's definitely getting some tonight," Christina says. "Hell, if you don't give it to him, Tris, I will." We all laugh as she takes a bite of her eggplant parmesan. She closes her eyes, and orgasmic sounds come from her mouth as she swallows. "This is _so_ damn good!"

"Don't worry," I say. "He will be very well taken care of tonight."

"I have to ask," Avery says, her face blushing beet red, "did you and Four really have sex on the Ferris wheel?"

"Well, it _was_ my wedding gift," I say.

"You had sex while everyone was there?" she asks sounding aghast.

" _No_ ," I say. "It was later." And a few times after that but they don't need to know that little detail. "Don't you ever take it outside the bedroom, Avery?"

"Not once," she says.

"You don't know what you are missing," Christina says. "Will and I aren't as adventurous as Four and Tris but one of my favorite places is the shower."

"Me, too," Ana says. "Brody and I like the couch, too."

"The kitchen is my favorite place," flies out of my mouth before I know what I'm doing and I feel a rush of blood color my cheeks. I really hadn't meant to say that out loud but I guess I was thinking about last night. "I _love_ my man in the kitchen. I've stopped him from cooking on numerous occasions."

"Haven't you ever just looked at Callen and wanted to rip his clothes off and do him right there?" Christina asks.

"Yeah but I'm not sure he'd want me to," she softly says.

"He's a guy, right?" Ana says with a giggle. "Brody's always trying to get me out of my pants everywhere we go. I've had to swat his hands on more than one occasion."

"You guys don't understand," Avery says shifting nervously in her seat. "He's shy."

"Please tell me you don't only have missionary sex, at night, in the dark," Christina says, shaking her head. "Do I need to get you the Kama Sutra, too?"

"What's that?" she asks. Oh my! Even I knew what that was before it was given to me as a gift.

"It's an ancient book about sexuality, sex, and sex positions," I say glaring at my best friend. As if Tobias and I need any help in that department. "Christina got it for Four and me for Christmas last year." I can't help but roll my eyes. I still can't believe she gave it to us. "If you want to look at it, I'd let you have it."

"Don't you mean borrow?" Christina asks.

"No, she could have it," I say. Tobias and I have flipped through it once but we've never used any of the positions. It's locked away in a drawer in our bedroom. I wanted to kill her when she gave it to me. Thank God we were alone.

"I don't think so," Avery says. "How do I get him to loosen up sexually? I'm not complaining. He's quite good at it. I love having sex with him but I want … _more_."

"Have you told him that?" I ask.

"You've got to talk to him," Christina says. "I used to be insecure about telling Will exactly what I wanted, and I'm not only talking about sex. I was a nervous wreck to talk to him about _anything_. I made assumptions that I know now were all wrong. Tris tried to tell me that communication was key to a successful relationship but I was frightened and, you probably won't believe this but, I was shy."

"Shy?" I say, my brows lifting nearly to my hairline. "You haven't been shy a day in your life, _Candor!_ "

"I told you you wouldn't believe me," she mumbles.

"Talk to him," Ana says. "Tris gave me the same advice. It helped."

"There's something … special, _freeing_ about being able to talk intimately with your partner," I say. "Who knows, maybe Callen feels the exact same way you do but he thinks it would offend you to talk about having sex anywhere other than your bedroom."

"Don't think, just answer the first thing that pops into your mind. Where is the one place that makes you think, damn I need him and I need him now?" Ana asks. Avery's cheeks flood with even more color. If this doesn't stop, I think her poor head might explode.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to," I say.

"Yes, she does," Christina says. "I need details." I roll my eyes at her.

"The training room," she says, barely above a whisper. Zander and Stella would kill me if they heard the advice I'm about to give their daughter.

"Talk to him about moving it out of your bedroom once in a while," I say. "Start slow. Don't grab his hand, drag him to the training room, and jump on him. Sex in the shower is amazing." Christina and Ana nod in agreement.

"Or the bathtub," Ana says.

"The couch," Christina says.

"Kitchen counter," I say.

"Up against any wall works well," Ana says. "Also on any floor."

"The point is, once he's comfortable shaking things up a bit, plan a special night for him. The training room is closed after hours. Get the key, let yourself in, lock the door behind you, and fulfill your fantasy," I say.

"Just make sure you're both 100% comfortable or it could backfire," Christina says.

"That's true," I say. Then to lighten the mood I add, "And make sure your parents aren't around. You don't want to get caught being felt up in the front seat of your car by your mother."

" _No!_ " Christina says, her eyes wild with delight.

"Oh, yes," I say, blushing deeply. They all laugh heartily and I'm happy that Avery is laughing, too. The staff comes in and clear our dinner plates and put dessert down in front of each of us. After a few bites, we all switch until we've eaten everything on the plates.

"The chocolate chip cannoli was out of this world," Ana says as she licks the back of her dessert fork.

"You could serve me chocolate gelato any day of the week," Christina says.

"My favorite was the amaretto tiramisu," I say, remembering each delicious bite. I'd like to smear that over every inch of Tobias' body and slowly lick it off. _Hhm!_

"Personally, I love them all equally but the chocolate and salted caramel cheesecake was decadent," Avery says. "I'm going to have to run an extra five miles tomorrow to work it off." Once all the plates have been removed, I notice a square black leather box in front of me with a cute tag that says, open me. I pick it up and carefully flip the lid and tears wet my eyes.

"What is it?" they all ask in unison.

"It's for us," I say turning the box so they can see the single platinum heart cut into four separate puzzle pieces, each with a single letter engraved in the center: C, A, A, and T. Christina, Ana, Avery, and Tris. Each tiny shard is attached to a simple platinum chain.

"Four got us jewelry?" Ana asks. "Hell, Brody rarely buys me presents. I think I'm going to cry, too." It's only then that I realize that the tears overflowed and are spilling down my face.

"I have a wonderful husband, Tris, but he could learn a thing or two from yours," Christina says, not a trace of humor in her voice. "Four knows how to romance you." _That he does._

"For as scary as he is, he's awfully sweet," Avery says.

"He is sweet, romantic, loving, thoughtful, and a little scary," I say. "I wouldn't change a thing about him."

"Not that I'm complaining but why did he do this?" Christina asks. "You didn't really answer earlier." That's right, she asked why he wanted to get rid of me for the evening.

"Yesterday wasn't a very good day," I say. "I had an altercation with Hector in front of the other Dauntless-born in the training room. That was _very_ stressful. Then Tyler announced at the dinner table that he wants a baby brother." I give them all the details of our interesting table conversation about baby brothers, adoptions, and how babies are made. They all laugh heartily at Tessa thinking I ate Teagan.

"When Tyler asked if we would be having another baby, I said someday but Four said no. I was dumbfounded. Before Teags was born, we talked about having more children. I want more. I thought he did, too. I got upset. I walked away. Then things got tense and he left for a while. Things are better now. He understands why I want another baby and I understand why he doesn't but we're at a bit of an impasse."

"How long have you been thinking about another baby?" Christina asks. I look at the clock on the wall.

"Seriously thinking about it? Well about 24 hours now," I say with a chuckle. "But I know that it's been on my mind a lot lately. I just didn't want to acknowledge it. Deep down, I think I knew it would be a fight because of the preeclampsia."

"Will and I are trying for another one," she softly says. "He finally convinced me it's time. I know he's right but I like it just the three of us."

"Callen has brought up marriage and kids," Avery says. "I'm not ready yet but I love that he's thinking about the future. It makes me feel safe and secure with him."

"Your mom isn't ready for that either in case you're wondering," I say remembering Stella's comment about not being ready to be a grandma. "But Abigail would be okay with it."

"I love her," she says. "She's so supportive of us unlike _someone_ I know."

"Give your dad time," I say and she nods somberly. She's not used to being on the outs with her father. They've always been really close.

"Brody has named our first daughter," Ana matter-of-factly says.

"I think I can guess," Christina says. "Faith?"

"Actually Ava Faith," she says. "Faith obviously for his sister and Ava for mine." Sometimes I forget she lost her twin sister.

"I'm glad you're making future plans, too," I say.

"Me, too," she says. "I fell for him hard and fast. I didn't think he was ever going to notice me."

"He definitely notices you now," Avery snickers. "You two make out just as much as Four and Tris."

"No," Christina says shaking her head. "No one makes out as much as they do."

"Oddly enough, I'm proud of that fact," I say and they burst out laughing and I join right in. "I want my hair trimmed and maybe some new highlights. Something a little … bolder."

"Let's go," Ana says.

"I'll put this with my stuff and give you your necklaces before we go," I say. When we exit the room, Alicia is waiting for us.

"What instructions did Four give you about the roses?" I ask.

"He didn't," she says. Hhm. That surprises me. He spent a lot on them. They shouldn't go to waste.

"Call maintenance and have them deliver a dozen of each color to Christina, Ana, and Avery's apartments," I say. "The roses that are in my dressing room need delivered to my apartment, and the rest can be put in the cafeteria. If there are any left, have them distributed amongst the businesses and be sure to keep some for yourself. I've never seen so many roses before."

"I'll get right on that, Tris," she says. "What can we do for you now?"

"I'm going to do something fun and sexy with my hair," Christina says. Avery and Ana both nod in agreement.

"You know the way," she says. "The girls are waiting for you."

"Thank you so much," I say. "Everything has been wonderful and relaxing."

"I'm glad you are enjoying yourself," she says. As I secure the necklace, I hear her call maintenance like I requested. After a quick text to tell Tobias how much I love him and to thank him for the necklaces, I hurry to meet up with my friends who went on without me.

"Do you think Will would kill me if I made my hair a funky color?" Christina asks.

"It's your hair," I say as I flip through a book of hairstyles, a deep conditioning mask on my head. I don't know why I'm looking. I love my hair right now just the way it is, and it's pretty versatile. I just want a trim, color, and highlights.

"Yeah but he has to look at me," she says.

"Do you _want_ a funky color?" I ask.

"Yeah," she admits.

"Then get a funky color," I say.

"I'm going to do it," she says. "Wish me luck!"

"Good luck," I say, rolling my eyes at her. Sometimes she's so dramatic.

"Are you cutting your hair?" Avery asks. She's sitting next to me with the same deep conditioner on her head.

"Just a trim," I say. "Av, are you all right? You seem … quieter than normal."

"I'm all right," she says as she hangs her head, wringing her hands together nervously, but her eyes belie her. She does this whenever she wants to talk but doesn't know where to begin.

"Whatever it is, you can talk to me. You know that," I softly say. I look toward Christina and Ana who are getting color put in their hair talking about their initiates. "They can't hear you."

"I guess I'm embarrassed," she quietly says. I don't have to ask why because a subtle blush has overtaken her face.

"Can I tell you a secret?" I ask.

"Of course," she says.

"I hate talking about sex," I whisper. "I've always thought it was a private matter, something between Four and me. I've had to seek out advice from time to time because of my sheltered upbringing and each time it nearly killed me."

"It's gotten easier for you," she states.

"Not really," I say, shaking my head. "The only person it's easier to talk with is Four and I still blush like a school girl. It's embarrassing."

"I _hate_ talking about it," she says. "I feel like I'm in a contest with my friends."

"Oh, God! I hope I never made you feel that way," I say. "I would hate myself."

"Not you. You've only ever helped me," she says. "I'd probably still be a virgin and extremely frustrated if it weren't for you."

"Is it difficult to talk to Callen?"

"We are both so shy about the subject," she says. "I have a hard time broaching it."

"I could barely look Four in the eye when we first started dating. I don't know if you know this or not but being intimate with him was one of my greatest fears," I say, still embarrassed that being with him set off that kind of reaction in the beginning. "But we promised each other to always be honest. He will never judge me, and I'll never judge him. It isn't always easy to talk to each other but it's always worth it in the end. It saves misunderstandings and assumptions that's for sure."

"Who do you go to for advice?" she asks.

"Isobel mainly," I say. "Your mom once in a while," horror actually flashes across her face like talking to Stella is the worse idea she's ever heard, "and Christina if I'm desperate." We laugh together lightly at that.

"I'm so glad that the secretary at upper levels gave you and Four my name to babysit when Tyler came to live with you," she says. "I never would have imagined that one day I would consider you my best friend but I'm thankful for you."

"I'm glad every day, too," I say.

"Just don't tell Afton," she giggles. It's wonderful to hear her laughing.

"Only if you promise not to tell Christina," I say, laughing with her.

"I just have to say one last thing," she says.

"What's that?" She leans closer to me, looking around.

"I still can't believe you did it on the Ferris wheel," she softly says.

"Yep," I say with a chuckle, blushing bright red. "Believe it. And between you and me," I look around also then add in a whisper, "it's happened more than once." The look on her face makes me chuckle.

We let our conversation turn to more comfortable topics for the both of us as we sit side by side getting our hair conditioned, cut, colored, and highlighted. I was surprised when Avery called me her best friend earlier. She's been friends with Afton practically since they both came out of the womb but I'm secretly pleased because I like everything about her. She has never once pushed me to be someone I'm not. It's refreshing. I hope she can say the same thing about me.

"I love your hair, Tris," Ana says as I leave my dressing room. I had the stylist color it a medium shade of brown and put in natural-looking red highlights. I think it suits me.

"You two look fierce," I say, taking in Ana's dark blue streaks in her mahogany mane and Christina's random red curls. "I like it."

"Whoa! Avery!" Christina says as she comes out from her dressing room. She had her reddish-brown hair colored a deep auburn with some dark blonde face-framing highlights. "You look fantastic."

"We all look fantastic," she says. "I had a blast this evening but I'm ready to call it a night." Me, too! I can't wait to get home to Tobias.

"Ready to go seduce your man?" Christina asks. I flash her a disapproving look she's seen a hundred times and apparently Avery sees it, too.

"It's all right, Tris," she says. "I'm going home to talk to him. There are some things I want and I know I have to ask. He can't read my mind. Thanks for the advice."

"It's our pleasure," I say.

"Yeah," Ana and Christina answer simultaneously.

"Before we go, I want to give you your necklaces." I open the small jewelry box and give each of my friend their piece of the heart. We all put them on then give each other a big hug. "I'm so happy that I have each of you in my life. I love you guys."


	14. Chapter 14

I let myself into the apartment with giddy anticipation for what Tobias has instore after my much-needed, relaxing yet fun-filled evening with my best friends at the spa. I've been waxed, tweezed, scrubbed, and buffed. My neatly trimmed style is a medium shade of brown with light auburn highlights that make my light blue eyes pop. I really hope Tobias likes it as much as I do. My hand goes to the new necklace that circles my neck and I smile. I haven't laughed so much in the past four months as I have in the past four hours with Christina, Ana, and Avery. We talked, gossiped, and giggled about everything under the sun before, during, and after our treatments and delicious dinner. We need to make sure we do a better job of getting together on a more regular basis. It's good for each of us. I need to remember to thank Tobias for his generosity and thoughtfulness. If it weren't for him, tonight wouldn't have happened. Desire spears my core as I think of a few different ways I can do that. After I take my shoes off and tuck them neatly under the built-in bench, I stand up and run right into the hard, immovable, bare chest of my handsome husband.

My mouth opens to say hello but I quickly close it when I see the look in his eyes. At first glance I think he's angry but I quickly realize that's not the case at all. His face has an intensity I've never quite seen before, his eyes filled with a white-hot hunger that takes my breath away. With no caveat whatsoever, his mouth meets mine in a fiery kiss that sets my body ablaze. His hands roam restlessly over every inch of me as he thrusts his tongue through my parted lips, his tongue relentless, like he's searching for something he lost. I run my hands up his back and grasp his rippled shoulders tightly and pull him closer. He growls as his hands go to the hem of my scoop neck tee. He tears his mouth away from mine long enough only to rip my shirt up and off my body then he devours me again. He slides one hand down to my bottom, pulling me closer to the big, hard bulge in his jeans and the other up to easily unclasp my bra with expert fingers then drags it down my arms.

He's never been this animalistic with me before, not even when he was Four in the dorm room earlier this week. His touch is frantic and needy yet strangely gentle and loving. His kisses are ravenous, inflaming like he's trying to consume me. His insistent tongue dominates mine, repeatedly penetrating my lips. I feel his hand move to the waistband of my shorts. He moves the button from its home and lowers the tiny zipper. He slips his sure fingers inside my shorts then inside my panties. He searches my moist folds and finds the throbbing bundle of nerves. He glides over it with a ghost-like touch, and I gasp against his mouth. He kisses the side of my lips, my jaw, then down to the sensitive area below my left ear. I shudder as I drag in lungfuls of air. I rest my head against the door, giving him better access to my neck and close my eyes. My mouth hangs open, panting forcefully as I focus on the persistent glide of his rough fingers. Reading my body perfectly, sensing my need, he presses harder on the aching nub. I chant his name like a mantra as my hips sway in perfect time with his fingers as he moves me closer to ecstasy. He moves his mouth back to mine, and I wrap my arms around his neck, fisting my fingers in his curls. I don't know if I'm pulling him closer or if I'm pressing myself against him relentlessly as my orgasm builds but the one thing I know is that I can't get close enough. I want him inside me but I have a feeling that's the furthest thing from his mind at the moment. Suddenly my entire body stiffens and my legs begin to quake as my release overtakes me. I tear my mouth from his and cry out his name. It hasn't been 10 minutes since I walked through the door and here I am, pinned against the front door panting like a mad woman as my husband makes me come with just his fingertips. Once I've rode the wave to completion, I wilt, trapped between him and the unmoving door. He takes his hand out of my panties and slides my shorts and lacy boy shorts down, lifting each of my legs until I'm free. As he stands back up, he glides his hands up my body, peppering butterfly kisses all over. He tweaks my already pebbled nipples then rolls them between his fingertips. He squeezes them almost painfully and a jolt of electricity moves from the sensitive peak to my throbbing bundle of nerves. He finally reaches up and cups my face. He stares at me for a moment before he lowers his mouth to mine. I can still sense an intense need radiating from him but it's restrained at the moment.

"Welcome home, love," he gruffly says, desire thick in his voice and a profound longing in his eyes.

"That was a hell of a way to be greeted," I pant, still trying to catch my breath.

"I couldn't wait 'til you got home. I've been thinking about you," he says. He kisses me roughly then drags my hand to his hard bulge. I can't help but trace the rigid line of denim-covered flesh with my fingers, and he groans loudly. "Do you see what you do to me? I've been so damn hard for you all night. I even stroked myself until I came thinking about you underneath me, my hard cock moving in and out of your tight, perfect, little body and yet here I am harder than hell again … _for_ _you_." His mouth lands back on mine and his need is primal. I don't know what exactly has gotten into him but I like it … I _really_ , _really_ like it. He's never talked this way, and it makes me ache even more. "I've been waiting all night to taste you, love, and I can't wait another minute." He kisses his way down my naked body until he's kneeling before me. He takes one of my trembling legs and puts it on his shoulder then wraps his arms around and cups each side of my bottom, holding me up. I run my hand through his unruly hair as he looks up at me with a heated gaze, placing tiny kisses on my tummy, inner thighs, and hips. "I can smell how much you want me." His bold statement floods my cheeks with color and my womanhood with moisture. "Have you been thinking about me?"

"Yes," I moan, barely above a whisper. He French kisses my navel for a moment, making me squirm then drags his tongue down further and sweetly kisses my cesarean scar just like he does every time he's close to it. He settles back on his feet and lightly slides his tongue up and down the folds of my womanhood, sucking on them lightly. He groans and I moan loudly as he sinks his tongue inside me. I grasp his head with both hands and pull him closer to my center wanting to feel that warm, wet, talented tongue even deeper. "Oh, God, Tobias! That feels _so_ good. Oh, God! Don't stop, baby." He works magic with his tongue, thrusting it in and out of me until I'm bucking against him. Just as I'm about to plummet over the edge, he glides that tongue up and circles my nubbin not quite touching it, causing my release to back off. My heart stalls then picks up double time, and it was already drumming a deadly beat. He continues teasing, edging me closer and closer to an invisible summit until I don't know how much more I can take. Once again, I feel myself readying for the fall when he changes up his tactics. " _Tobias!_ " Thick need drips from my voice. "I need to come! Make me come, baby." Taking pity on me, he firms up his grip on my bottom and attacks the needy bundle of nerves with an aggression I've never felt. My orgasm rips through me, and I scream out in pleasure again and again. He continues his assault on my nubbin until my legs give out but he doesn't stop. While he's holding me up, he moves his tongue down and laps up all my juices like a man dying of thirst. I lose all track of time in my post-orgasmic bliss but he finally lowers me until I'm straddling his hips. He tips my chin back with his fingers and kisses me deeply. I wrap my arms around his neck and enjoy the unhurried pace of our lips moving together, our tongues gliding slowly against each other's. He finally pulls away, panting, breathless.

"God, I love the way you taste," he says, making me blush again. He runs his hand up into my hair, noticing the difference for the first time. "You are gorgeous with this color, not that you aren't gorgeous every day. Your eyes are even bluer. I swear I could drown in them, in you. I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. "How about you let me taste you now?" I wiggle my bottom over his hard length and he groans.

"Tonight is all about you, love," he roughly says.

"I love every single thing you've done for me tonight, the pampering and whatnot but you've done enough," I say. "Baby, I want you."

"And you will have me … _later_ ," he says and I can't help but pout. He softly kisses me then nips at my protruding bottom lip. He kisses me again, deeper this time and the ache in my core strengthens. "Do you trust me, Tris?" His look all of a sudden is intense and very serious.

"Wholeheartedly," I answer with zero hesitance because it's the absolute truth.

"There's something I've wanted to do with you for quite some time," he says. "You want it, too." I rack my brain trying to think of what he's talking about but nothing comes to me.

"What?" I shyly ask, unable to disguise the nervousness in my voice.

"I want to blindfold you and tie you to our bed. I want to kiss you, tease you, and taste you until you're writhing in ecstasy and then I want to make love to you," he says. Just saying the words make his eyes dilate wider. He's right. This is something we talked about during our last game of naughty Candor or Dauntless when I was still pregnant but neither of us have brought it up since. I thought he changed his mind. "If you changed your mind that's fine. We can just make love." He obviously is mistaking my silence as a refusal, which couldn't be farther from the truth.

"I trust you with everything, Tobias," I say. "If you want to do this, I want it, too. I told you we could after Teags was born."

"Are you sure?" he asks, pure excitement dripping from his voice. "I never want you doing anything you're uncomfortable with. Your wants always come first no matter what."

"I'll admit, I'm nervous," I breathlessly say, "but I'm excited, too."

"If you don't like something I do, tell me immediately and I'll stop," he says. "Promise?"

"I promise," I say. As he gets to his feet, I wrap myself around him tightly. He tenderly kisses me all the way up the steps. The moment he steps into the bedroom, I'm assaulted by vanilla and black cherry with just a hint of rose. I drag my lips from his and open my eyes and gasp. The room is unrecognizable. There are Beatrice roses _everywhere_ and where there aren't flowers there are lit black and white candles. Our four-poster canopy bed has been completely stripped and our normal off-white percale sheets have been replaced with what looks like black satin. He stops at the end of the bed and lets me slide down his body to my feet. I walk to the other side of the bed, gliding my hand along the silky material. _This is going to feel good against my bare skin._ I turn and look up at him, unsure of what he wants me to do. Part of me is more nervous right now than I was before our first time. "What do you want me to do?" He stalks toward me, his eyes boring into mine, and I clench my thighs together. I know this is going to be good. I just wish I wasn't so nervous. When he reaches me, he settles his hands on my bare hips.

"I need you to relax, love, or we can't do this," he says. He stares down at me then takes a deep breath and releases it. After a few minutes, I realize I'm following his lead, breathing with him, and the nervousness has totally been replaced with excitement. He would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. "Better?" His voice is deep and smooth like rich dark chocolate. There are no signs of dark blue in his onyx eyes. He wants this … _bad_. I won't deny him … I don't want to.

"Much better," I roughly murmur. "I want this just as much as you do." He scoops me up into his muscled arms and softly presses his lips to mine. He kneels on the side of the mattress then gently deposits me in the middle of the bed. I lie back as I watch him open the small drawer in his nightstand. He first takes out a bottle of some sort of liquid and sets it on the table. I study the small bottle but the substance looks foreign to me. I know I've never seen it before. Next, he removes the blindfold Christina used on me at our wedding. It's not the first time it's been used during our little games. He seductively runs his fingers over the black fabric, his eyes on mine then he sets it down on the bed beside me. As he reaches into the drawer again, my eyes slide down to the bulge between his thighs. My mouth goes dry, and I involuntarily lick my lips. He must be uncomfortable pressed up against the unforgiving fabric.

"What are you thinking?" he asks as he runs four black silk sashes though his fingers. I can't keep my eyes off them. "Tris?"

"You must be uncomfortable in your jeans," I murmur still looking at the bindings.

"I'm fine," he says as he walks to the end of the bed. I'd argue with him but the look in his eyes renders me mute. His eyes caress my body as he holds the silk in his hand, and my heart starts hammering in my chest. He casually walks to my right and my eyes follow him. "Give me your hand." His voice is low and desire-filled. I hold out my trembling hand, and he takes it in his, turns it over, and kisses my palm. He wraps the sash around my wrist a couple times then secures it with a fancy knot making sure it doesn't bite into my skin then securely attaches the other end low on the bedpost. He slowly walks to the other side of the bed, his eyes never leaving mine and holds his hand out to me. Even though he doesn't ask, I know what he wants, and I place my wrist in his hand. He kisses my palm then proceeds to secure my left hand to the bed. Dear God, he's going to kill me before this night is over, I just know it. My heart thunders in my chest, and my breath is coming in short, shallow pants. "Breathe, love." I try to take a deep breath but fail miserably. I finally close my eyes and take a couple deep, calming breaths. It doesn't alleviate the nervousness but it lessens it. When I open my eyes, he's standing at the end of the bed, his eyes trained on my body. I swear his bulge is even larger than it was. He takes me by the ankles and pulls me down on the bed until the bindings on my wrists are taut. He then sets my feet wide apart. He very quickly secures each ankle to the bedposts then stands back and stares at me. I've never seen the look that he's wearing right now. It's hard to describe. He's ravenous, aroused, amorous, and a little … _frightened_. I can't help but wonder what that's about but I don't ask. He finally blows out a slow breath and sits beside me. He picks up the mask lying by my head and turns it over and over in his hands. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," I choke out. I clear my throat then say, "Yes."

"They aren't too tight, are they?" I test the restraints. I can't move much but there's some play.

"No."

"Lift your head." I raise my head from the mattress, and he very gently slides the blindfold into place, plunging me into total darkness. I am completely at his mercy. A deep throbbing tightens my core. I instinctually try to press my thighs together to control the ache but I can't. _Oh my!_ "I'm going to take my time with you," he throatily says. "We can sleep tomorrow."

"We have to work tomorrow."

"No, we're playing hooky. I already arranged it," he says. "The kids are at Zander and Stella's and won't be home until tomorrow night. I gave Bridget the day off. I have you all night and all day."

"The kids aren't here?" I hadn't even thought to ask about them since he literally attacked me the moment I walked through the door.

"No, love," he says. "As much as we love them, let's forget we are parents for a few hours and just be lovers." I clench as the weight of his words hit me. Sometimes we focus too much on being Mommy and Daddy and not enough on being Tris and Tobias. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, Tobias, I'm ready," I confidently say although the words come out a little throatily. The weight on the bed shifts, and I know he gets up. My heart hammers against my ribs, anticipating what he's going to do first. I know he's still in the room, I can hear his labored breathing but so far, he's made no move to touch me.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" His roughly whispered words are right next to my ear and I gasp. "Everything about you turns me on." He slowly drags a single fingertip from my lips, down over my chin, and onto my neck then down the center of my chest and abdomen stopping right above where I want his fingers. God, he's barely touched me, and I'm a writhing mess. I hear the zipper of his jeans lower and then the rustling of fabric. He's naked now.

"Why are you making me wait?" I moan. "Touch me again, baby." I try to move against the restraints but they hold me in place … frustrated.

"I'm looking at you. Do you have any idea how wet you are?" My whole body flushes at his comment. "I'm committing every detail of how you look tied to my bed to memory, completely at my mercy. I want to clearly remember every detail of tonight for the rest of my life. Oh, what I am going to do with you. I've dreamed of this but the reality is so much better than the fantasy. You have me so hard right now." His words are going to be my undoing. I swear if he keeps talking like this I'm going to come, and he's not even touching me. I listen carefully trying to determine what he's doing, where he's at but all I can hear is raspy breath seesawing in and out of my own lungs. Something cold and liquid hits my right foot and trails up my calf, over my knee, and onto my thigh. I flinch away from it but can't move. A sweet smell I can't quite place swirls up around me and assaults my senses. Suddenly, I feel both his hands on me, massaging the oil in. I moan. It feels so good. What starts out cool on my over-heated skin soon heats up and tingles just a little.

"What is that?" I breathlessly ask as his hands knead the muscles in my calf then slide up to my knee. "It feels … _weird_."

"It's a massage oil," he says, adding more oil to my leg and moving his hands up to my thigh. "I got it at the boutique."

"It's warm and tingly," I sigh. His fingers are so close to my womanhood that I hold my breath in anticipation but he soon takes his hands away. _Damn it!_

"I know," he says as he switches legs. His seductive voice makes me squirm. "It will heighten your pleasure when I kiss you all over." A little more oil is drizzled on my shin, knee, and thigh, and he massages it thoroughly into my skin. His fingers purposefully graze my womanhood and then they're gone. A sound somewhere between a sigh and groan escapes my parted lips. He's teasing me. I gasp when a pool of oil lands between my breasts then stretches down to my taut abdomen. My breathing becomes even more labored as he runs his hands over every inch of my naked chest and stomach. The oil does something odd to my nipples. I thought they were sensitive before but now they're tingling and aching, and I want his mouth on me so bad to quash this fire.

"Mm," I moan.

"Feel good?"

"Mm-hm." He continues the torturously slow massage until every visible inch of my body has been kneaded. Usually a massage relaxes me but this one has stimulated every inch of my body and invigorated my senses. I feel like I'm flying. I lie here, testing my restraints knowing that he's looking at me again. A slow blush overtakes my body, and he groans quietly. I can't tell where he is. When I don't think I can stand it for one more second, I feel his lips on the instep of my right foot. I flex at the contact and instinctively try to move away but my foot goes nowhere. He runs his tongue along my sole making me shiver then nips at the pad of my big toe then soothes it with his tongue. He then gives each of my other toes the same treatment except for my pinkie toe. He draws it between his lips and sucks on it. The gently pulling sensation shoots a jolt of electricity between my thighs. I didn't know I could ache this much for him.

"Oh, God!" I moan long and low, my core clenching tightly. _He's torturing me, and I'm getting off on it._ He peppers kisses over every inch of my foot then glides his tongue up to my ankle. He worships it then moves on to my calf and then to my knee. " _Tobias!_ " I can't keep the longing out of my voice. When he told me he was going to kiss every inch of my body, I didn't actually believe him. I didn't think he would have the patience. I was wrong. He kisses every inch of my knee and outer thigh then makes his way inward. When his lips reach my inner thigh, I start to writhe. He's getting so close to where I want that talented tongue. I swear if he doesn't hurry up, I'm going to scream or spontaneously combust. He runs his tongue over the junction between my thigh and my pelvis then he's gone. " _Where did you go_?" I actually sound like I'm in pain. My moist center is throbbing painfully, and I try to close my thighs to no avail. I groan loudly and pull on the restraints. " _Tobias_?" I swear one day I'm going to tie him to the bed and torment him.

"I'm here, love," he says as he kisses the instep of my other foot. I moan. He's starting all over, and I have no choice but to lie here and absorb the sensation. My body is humming by the time he reaches my inner thigh again. He was right about the massage oil heightening my pleasure. It's heightened everything: The feel of his fingers pressing into my flesh, each glide of his velvety tongue across my body, his hot breath moving across my skin. It's all deliciously better.

"Tobias, baby, you're killing me," I moan. And he laughs … _laughs_. "I'm not liking you very much at the moment," I pout.

"I love you," he sincerely says, a mix of strong affection, desire, and humor in his voice. I bite my lip to keep the same words from flying out of my mouth. When he finishes worshiping my inner thigh, I think he's finally going to put that mouth where I want it but I'm wrong. He gets up off the bed and leaves me hanging. I grumble under my breath, mostly nonsense, and then moan when I feel his mouth on my fingertips. He draws each one into his mouth one at a time and sucks on the tips then teases them, nibbling and licking. I didn't know they were so sensitive. He makes his way up my wrist and forearm to my elbow then continues up to my shoulder and then across my collarbone. I groan knowing what's coming next and I'm right. His lips disappear from my skin, leaving me longing but before I can really start pouting, he kisses my other hand. He sucks on my fingertips, kisses every inch of skin then drags his tongue up and over the silk binding. When he kisses the inside of my left elbow, I moan loudly. "Hhm." He kisses the same spot again, and I can't help the low groan that escapes my mouth. "Looks like that feels good."

"Do it again," I sigh. He tickles the area with the very tip of his tongue and a jolt of electricity shoots through me from where he's licking me to my drenched core.

"Who knew," he mumbles as he continues up to my shoulder then across my collarbone. I tremble as he focuses on my ravens. I clench and release trying to ease the ache to no avail. I've never wanted to close my thighs so much in my entire life. He drags his tongue down and kisses the swell of each breast then moves away.

" _Tobias_ ," I moan with sheer frustration.

"What do you want, Tris?" he huskily asks. He's at the end of the bed again.

"You, damn it," I whimper.

"You have me," he says. The end of the bed moves, and I feel him climb up and over my body but he doesn't touch me … not yet. I reach up with my fingertips but he's out of reach.

" _Baby_?" Suddenly his lips are on mine. The kiss is passionate, full of want and longing on both our parts. He easily thrusts his tongue into my mouth, exploring every inch. When we are both breathless, he kisses his way to my sensitive left ear and sucks on my earlobe. My already irregular breath comes shorter, shallower, faster, wilder. I swear my heart is fluttering in my chest faster than a hummingbird's wings. "Mm." He feels so good. I squirm beneath him, arching myself up off the bed but I still can't find his body. He's teasing me mercilessly. He kisses and skims his lips across every inch of my neck then down onto my chest. I don't know how he's not going out of his mind with lust right now. I know I am. Part of me wants to plead with him to untie me so we can get this show on the road but the bigger part of me wants to please him, wants to continue, wants to experience every single second of what he's putting me through. I've never been this turned on in my life. Part of it is the massage oil he slathered all over my body but the biggest part is the teasing. He has me wound so tight I can only imagine what the release will be like. I'll probably shoot into outer space. After tracing the outline of my ravens for the second time, he moves his mouth to my breast. I gasp as he draws the oversensitive nipple between his lips and gently sucks on it.

"I miss your milk," he murmurs against my skin. "It was always a little extra bonus when I was doing this." He scrapes his teeth over the pebbled, throbbing bud then soothes it with his tongue, lapping at it slowly. The coil in my core winds tighter at his attention. It may not be his intention but I think he's going to make me come just by kissing, licking, sucking, and nibbling on my breasts. When he's satisfied the nipple he's sucking on has been teased enough, he drags his lips to my other breast.

"Oh, God!" I moan loudly. "Feels so good." He gives the other distended peak the same treatment or maybe I should say torture. When he finishes I don't know which of us is moaning louder. He slowly drags his lips down my abdomen, dropping hundreds of kisses as he goes. He teases my bellybutton for a time, thoroughly making love to it with his tongue until I'm writhing beneath him. " _Please! Oh, God, please!_ " I flex and relax my feet. I manage to grab ahold of the silk sashes binding me to the bed. I yank on them then just hold on for dear life. He kisses my cesarean scar, mumbling words of love and then he's there. I feel his hot breath wash over my needy center. He doesn't touch me but I know he's there, watching me, taunting me, keeping my expectations high.

"You," his tongue unhurriedly glides up the inside of my right thigh and he kisses the juncture of my pelvis and thigh tenderly, "are," his tongue glides up the inside of my other thigh repeating every touch, "the," he kisses my moist entrance causing me to shudder, "sexiest," his tongue lightly traces the slick folds of my womanhood and I can't help my moan of pure pleasure, "woman," his tongue thrusts inside me, swirling, probing, gliding like he does to my mouth, "in," he moves his tongue back and glides it over every inch of my womanhood, only grazing over my sensitive bundle of nerves once in a while, not giving me exactly what I want, "the," his masterful tongue glides full force over my throbbing nubbin, "world." I inhale sharply at the most intense pleasure I've ever felt in my entire life and buck against his mouth. I guess there is something to say about building up the anticipation to a fevered pitch. An intense orgasm rips through my body tearing all thought and logic away with it. All I am is sensation. _Incredible_. _Fucking_. _Sensation_. When I come back down to earth, I realize he's still there with his head between my thighs, pushing me toward another incredible release. I'm not going to survive tonight. He _is_ trying to kill me.

" _Oh_ , _Tobias_!" I moan as he eases two fingers inside me. He gently sucks on my aching, overly sensitive nubbin while he moves his fingers in and out of me. He curls them and turns his hand just right, hitting that special place inside that makes my toes curl, my eyes roll back in my head, and makes me start speaking absolute gibberish. "You _…_ I _… oh, damn … shit … fuck … sonofabitch … oh, hell …_ Oh _…_ My _…_ God _… I'm coming … I'M COMING …_ fuck _… fuck … FUCK."_ I hold on for dear life as my body spirals out of control. I clench around his fingers and my body trembles with a force I've never known. When the mini-spasms finally fade I lie tethered to the bed, my chest heaving like a bellows, and my heart racing 90 miles a minute. I'm surprised it's still contained in my chest. I'm going to need a two-week nap after this is over. When I feel him untying my right ankle is when I realize he's not on the bed with me anymore. His fingers are quick, frantic. When my leg is free, I move it towards my chest, stretching it. He quickly untethers my other leg then crawls up over me, placing my calves on his shoulders. _Never done this before_. He then lifts the blindfold and tosses it over his shoulder. I blink against the soft light.

"This is going to be quick and it's going to be rough," he tightly says. "I don't have it in me to hold back right now. You have to promise me something, if it hurts tell me and I'll stop. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me," I say.

" _Promise_ _me_ ," he growls.

"I promise." As I get the words out of my mouth, he slams into me and I can't help but cry out. _Holy shit!_ He wasn't kidding. His pace is brutal. He's never went this hard and this fast before. He rests his head on my shoulder as he hammers in and out of my body. His arms, chest, shoulders, and neck are tense with a deep need, and his breath is coming rough and ragged against my face. Unbelievably, I feel my body racing toward yet another invisible summit. I don't know how close it is or how high it is but it's bound to be spectacular. "Kiss me," I moan as he leverages himself on his arms, thrusting into me like a madman. His mouth comes down hard on mine in an aggressive kiss so need-filled and desperate that it takes my breath away. He moves his hand between us and after two brushes across my nubbin, I come like I've never come before, which is saying a lot. My walls clench tightly around him causing him to spill himself deep in my body. I quiver and tremble and tears flood my eyes. He collapses on top of me after three more deep thrusts. "Tobias, you have to move." In this position, I can barely breathe with him lying on me like this. He gently pulls out of me and leans back, letting my legs down. My lungs expand and I immediately feel better.

"Are you okay?" he roughly asks as he reaches up and unties one wrist.

"I'm divine," I pant, more sexually sated than ever before. I'm not sure I'll move ever again. Once my hands are free I realize I'm a little stiff from being in the same position for the past … I look at the clock and gasp … _three_ _hours!_ No wonder I was climbing up the wall before he made me come. "I could use a back rub. My arms are a little sore." He reaches for the oil he used earlier and I shake my head. "Use my coconut oil lotion, please. I'm too tired for you to use that." He grins and kisses my forehead before he gets up off the bed. I roll over onto my tummy and stretch as he goes into the bathroom. My eyelids are heavy when he comes back.

"Was that good for you at all?" he asks as he sits on the mattress. I hear him rubbing his hands together, and then he starts kneading the lotion into my tired, sore muscles. It feels so good.

"Mm," I moan and he chuckles. "I got a bit frustrated at times. I guess I didn't believe you when you said you were going to kiss me all over. I thought maybe you were trying to kill me."

"I told you tonight was all about you," he says against my ear. "Was I too rough?"

"Almost," I say with a yawn. "You should have taken the blowjob when I offered then you wouldn't have been quite so needy."

"I was needy, wasn't I?" he says as he kisses the back of my neck. "I wanted tonight to be perfect." I roll over and sit up. I slide closer to him and kiss his shoulder.

"Tonight was…" I close my eyes, running though the events and I smile. When I open my eyes, I look into Tobias' pensive face. He's really worried that I didn't enjoy myself. "Everything I could have wished for. It was sexy, erotic, frustrating, loving, passionate. It definitely was my favorite game we've played but I'm not sure I would want to repeat it. It was _really_ intense."

"I understand, love," he says. He caresses my cheek then runs his fingers up into my hair. "I love you, Mrs. Eaton. Shall we get some sleep?"

"Yeah," I say around another yawn. "I love you, too, Mr. Eaton."


	15. Chapter 15

I wake up wrapped around Tobias like a victory flag feeling well rested, refreshed, and quite honestly more than a little sore. I lift my head and am surprised that the clock on his nightstand reads a little after noon. Well, I guess I'm not _that_ surprised. He did have me up half the night coming … _hard_. An impish smile turns up my lips thinking about being tied to the bed for hours. It was sexy, erotic, passionate, fun, and deliciously frustrating. I press my thighs together to alleviate the ache that builds as I reminisce about last night. We had a spectacular time, and I wouldn't change a single second.

I could lie here like this for hours staring at my handsome husband but my bladder feels like it's about ready to explode any second. I stretch my sore, tired muscles then unwrap myself from around Tobias being careful not to disturb him. I slide out of bed, desperate to take care of urgent business then hurry into the bathroom and relieve myself. I think about jumping into the shower but remember I have nowhere important to go, the kids are with Stella and Zander, and my sexy as hell husband is still lying in bed naked as the day he was born.

I quietly go back into our bedroom and stop dead in my tracks, my eyes nearly bugging out of my head. Tobias is lying in the middle of our bed flat on his back, one arm raised above his head with the other wrapped tightly around his hard length, slowly stroking his fist up and down. He's never looked as beautiful as he does right now. His handsome face is turned toward me, his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted, his breathing deep and steady. I wonder if he's even aware of what he's doing. I stand rooted in place, my eyes fixated on the erotic scene unfolding before me. I've never seen Tobias take his pleasure into his own hands before, and my body temperature raises substantially. When I swallow, my throat feels like sandpaper. He's turning me on something fierce, and I don't care how sore I am, I need him inside me right now. I unstick my feet and walk to the edge of our bed while my eyes caress every delectable inch of his hard body. I crawl up on the mattress being careful not to disturb him when his phone loudly vibrates on his nightstand. His eyes fly open and his hand stalls. He seems dazed. He looks around confused then rolls over and picks up his phone.

"Hello?" he mutters. "Stella, what's wrong?" The moment her name rolls off his lips the erotic atmosphere evaporates and worry replaces the desire coursing through my veins. Tobias sits up while he listens to our good friend then let's out a little chuckle. "How about we meet you as soon as we can … Hey, don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault. Kids get hurt everyday … Yeah, she's right here." Anxiety blooms in my chest as he holds his hand out to me. I take the phone wishing I knew what was going on. "Someone wants to talk to you."

"Hello?" I say as he gets out of bed and trudges toward the bathroom.

"Mama," Tessa cries into the phone and my heart hurts.

"What's wrong, little one?" I ask, wishing I was with her to take away her fear and kiss away her tears.

"I falled and I gots an ouchie. It huwt bad." A rustling sound comes through the phone, and she cries even louder. "I want my mama!"

"I know you do, sweetheart," I hear Zander say. "I know you do."

"Tessa, baby, listen to Mommy." I hear her sniffle through the earpiece, and I know she's listening. "I love you."

"I love you," she says, pitifully.

"Mommy and Daddy will be with you as soon as we can," I say. "Can you tell me what happened?" She starts in on her tale but between her racking sobs and incoherent rambling, I don't catch a quarter of it. "I'm so sorry that happened. Is Stella and Zander taking good care of you?"

"Yeah," she says. "But I want you." I can actually hear her pouting. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too, and I'll be there soon. I promise," I say as Tobias comes back into our room fully dressed, with a wet head. I can't believe he showered already. It seems like he's only been gone a few seconds. "Can you talk to Daddy while Mommy gets ready to come pick you up?"

"No," she murmurs.

"He really wants to talk to you."

"Otay," she sighs.

"Be brave for Mommy," I say. "I love you, little one. Here's Daddy." I kiss her through the mouthpiece.

"I'll go get the car while you get ready, and I'll meet you at the curb," Tobias says as I hand him back his phone. "She'll be all right, love." I hope he's right. I still have no clue exactly what's going on. He kisses me tenderly then turns and walks out into the hallway. "Hi, Pebbles. Did you hurt your arm?" _Arm?_ I don't hear him say anything else as he heads downstairs. Our sweet girl must be monopolizing the conversation. I jump out of bed and fly into the bathroom. Within five minutes my hair is put up in a messy knot on top of my head, I'm in and out of the shower, I'm dressed in shorts, a t-shirt, and running shoes, and I'm waiting impatiently for Tobias outside of the Pire. My foot taps anxiously against the cracked sidewalk as I stare in the direction of the garage, and I don't have to wait long. A black sedan screeches to a halt right in front of me and I get in.

"Can you tell me exactly what's going on?" I ask when I realize he's no longer on the phone.

"Tessa and some little Candor boy were playing on the bridge. He tripped knocking into her and she fell to the ground on her arm. Zander ensured me it's not broken. She has full range of motion but she's scared and in pain. She wants her mommy."

"Well, right now her mommy wants her, too," I say as I stare out the window at the blurred scenery. He must be speeding. It's just now that I realize I don't even know where my kids are. _I'm a horrible mother._ "I take it they're at the park in the city center."

"Where else would they be?" he chuckles. "I swear they would live there if we would let them."

"You're right about that." I shift in my seat trying to get comfortable and feel Tobias' stare burning into me.

"How are you feeling today, love? And I want complete honesty. I got really rough with you last night."

"You weren't that rough," I say and I hear a low, scary growl emanate from deep in his chest. "Fine. I'm a little sore," okay, more than a little sore but he doesn't need to know that, "but it's the stiffness in my arms and shoulders that's most bothersome."

"I had you tied up too long," he says, regret twisting his face. "I'm really sorry." I reach over and stroke his cheek.

"I wouldn't change a single minute of last night, baby. It was beyond amazing." This makes him smile. I reach over and take his hand in mine, threading our fingers together. "Did I ever thank you?"

"You know you don't have to thank me," he sighs.

"I'm not talking about all the sex even though that was divine," I say, kissing our joined hands. "I was talking about planning such a perfect evening with my friends. The salon, the roses, the dinner, the necklaces. You made me cry and had the others questioning why their guys aren't so romantic and sweet."

"They aren't supposed to know I'm sweet," he says with a crooked grin.

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with them," I say with a giggle. "They all still think Four is scary … well, _kind_ _of_." I laugh even harder.

"God, I love that sound," he murmurs.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask after we're quiet for a moment. His brows raise when he sees color flooding my cheeks.

"Sure."

"Were you asleep when Stella called?" I ask.

"Yeah, I think I was," he says, bemused. "Why?"

"No reason," I say as I turn my head to stare out the window again, escaping his probing gaze.

"Tris, please don't hide from me," he says as he strokes my neck. "Why do you want to know?" I force myself to look at him, and I swear I blush a deeper crimson.

"You had your … um … you were…" I sigh dramatically hoping he'll drop this subject but he doesn't.

"I was what?"

"You were touching yourself," I finally squeak. He looks surprised and a little embarrassed. Damn our Abnegation upbringing. Still blushing about sex even though we've been together for nearly three years now. "I didn't know if you were awake or not. I've never seen you do that before."

"Hhm." He tears his eyes from mine and stares out the windshield, his cheeks flushing slightly then he smiles. "I was dreaming of you. We were having one hell of a good time, although the details are a bit hazy. Did you like what you saw?"

"Yeah, I did," I quietly say. "I was just getting ready to join you when the phone rang."

"That would have been a nice surprise," he says as we turn into the park.

"You know I have to pay you back sometime for the _three hours_ of torture last night, right?" I say.

"I figured that," he smirks.

"I'm going to make you pay," I say thinking of all the delicious things I can do to him.

"I'm looking forward to it."

"You won't even see me coming," I giggle.

"I don't know about that," he says with mischief lighting his eyes. "You're pretty unforgettable when you're coming."

"Tobias Eaton!" He laughs that deep belly laugh I love so much causing me to blush scarlet once again.

"I love you," he says as he parks in the familiar lot.

"I love you, too." We get out of the car after a swift kiss, and I immediately hear Tessa. I hope she hasn't been crying like this since she got off the phone with Tobias. She's sitting with Zander underneath the oak trees, and the minute she sees her father and me she starts crying even harder. My poor girl.

"Mama," she blubbers as I lift her into my arms.

"Sshh," I murmur. "Mommy's got you now."

"I gave her some children's acetaminophen I keep on hand," Zander says as I kiss her tears away as she wraps her little arms around my neck and weeps on my shoulder. I rub her back and quietly shush her.

"Thank you, Zander," Tobias says. "Are you sure we shouldn't take her for x-rays?"

"I'm confident it's not broken," he says. "If the pain lasts longer than three days or gets worse, then x-rays or a CT scan would be warranted."

"Okay," he says. I look around and find Tyler and Teags taking turns on the small slide. They both wave at us. It's nice to see Tyler taking care of his baby sister during this crisis. I know he loves the big slide because he can zoom down it but it scares her because it's too high.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice a very nervous young woman who looks oddly familiar standing off to my left dressed in typical Candor black and white. Standing at her feet are a little girl and boy with matching blonde curls and troubled deep blue eyes.

"I'm sorry for the misfortunate accident," she nervously says. "My son really didn't mean anything by it." If I'm not mistaken she's scared of something.

"It's all right," I say as we move closer to her. "Accidents happen. Isn't that right, Tessa?" She lifts her head off my shoulder, tears streaking her cheeks and nods gently.

"I sorry," the little boy says. I slowly walk over to him and kneel down since Tessa has a death grip on my neck and won't let me put her down.

"Wasn't that nice of him to say he was sorry, little one?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says so softly that I almost don't hear her.

"I'm Tris and this is Tessa," I say as I straighten up. I nod up at Tobias and add, "This is my husband, Four. Tyler and Teagan are on the slide."

"I-I know who y-you are," she stutters. _Do I know her?_ She does look familiar but I can't place her. She clears her throat then takes a deep breath. "My name is Margarete Simonson and these are my twins, Jacob and Jasmine. Molly Atwood was my sister." I gasp and automatically take a step back, putting distance between her and my daughter. I glance up at Tobias just in time to see his Four mask fall firmly into place. Gazing back at the woman, I see it now. She does resemble Molly but she's much nicer to look at. "I'm not here to cause trouble. I'm nothing like my sister. I swear. You can ask my Aunt Ruth. I just brought my kids here to play." She sounds sincere. "I'm sorry for what Molly put you through. She was always a handful but I didn't think she was capable of such atrocities. I'm also sorry for your daughter getting hurt. I'm just thankful it wasn't worse."

"How do you know who we are?" Tobias gruffly asks.

"Jake, Jazz, why don't you go play," she says. "Be careful this time."

"Yes, Mommy," they say in unison then dart off toward the play equipment. They can't be much older than Tessa.

"I was at Molly and Drew's interrogations, sentencings, and executions," Margarete says. "I recognize you both." That makes sense.

"I thought you looked familiar when we walked up," I say. "I'm very sorry for your loss." Her mouth drops open, and she looks befuddled.

"How can you be nice to me and offer me sympathy?" she asks.

"We aren't monsters, Margarete," I say.

"We'd never hold what others did against you," Tobias says. "You aren't responsible for Molly's actions or Drew's for that matter. We know that."

"You're nothing like Molly described."

"You spoke to her about us?" he asks.

"Your wife mainly. I wanted to understand why Molly did what she did," she says to Tobias then she looks at me. "I'm afraid she didn't paint a pretty picture of you."

"That doesn't surprise me," I say, stunned there's no bitterness in my voice. "We had our differences from the day we met."

"She was jealous that Peter liked you." It's a statement, not a question. I flinch at the mention of his name then hate myself for reacting that way more than two years later. _He's dead. He can't hurt me._

"We don't like to talk about him," Tobias roughly says. He slides his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. He obviously saw my reaction.

"I'm sorry to bring up such painful memories," she says looking towards her kids. "I wish we could have met under better circumstances. Aunt Ruth talks about you all the time, Tris. She credits you with her transformation." I shake my head.

"Your aunt is a strong woman. She's worked really hard to get where she is. I had no part in that," I say. "I'm just glad she's so happy now. I do love her." For as much as I hate her son _that_ is how much I love Ruth Hayes. I consider her a second mother. I go to her for advice just as much as I go to my own mother. I tried thinking of her as a mother-in-law but that just reminded me of the kidnapping, forced marriage, and assault, so I decided to look at her as a mother figure and I haven't had any second thoughts. My kids love her, too, and even call her Grandma Ruthie. We see her about once a month.

"I need to be getting back to Candor before my husband gets off work," she says. "I'm sorry again for the accident. I'm glad she wasn't really hurt." I look at Tessa and find her peacefully sleeping in my arms.

"No need to apologize," I say. "It was nice to meet you. Tell your aunt hello for me the next time you see her."

"I will," she says as she walks towards her twins.

"What are the odds?" Tobias mutters under his breath.

"Do you think we should be worried?" I ask.

"No. We did our due diligence when Drew and Molly were arrested. None of their other family members were implicated in their vendetta," he says. "I just think it's a coincidence she's here today."

"I hope you're right," I say.

"Let me take her," he says.

"Nope. I've got her," I say as we turn and walk back to Stella and Zander.

"I'm sorry, Tris," Stella says as I manage to sit down against the tree with Tessa still in my arms.

"You have nothing to apologize for," I emphatically say.

"Four, can you help me pack up the car?" Zander asks.

"Sure," he says. "Can I get you anything, love?"

"I could use something to drink," I say.

"Here's a bottle of water," Stella says. I take it from her with some thanks and watch as Zander and Tobias gather up coolers, blankets, and toys and take them to our cars.

"Hey, thanks again for watching the kids for us last night," I say.

"We love your kids," she says. "You know that. They are always welcome."

"I hope they weren't any trouble."

"Your kids are never any trouble," she laughs. "If you want to know about trouble I'll send Nash and Nya home with you for about five minutes." She may be laughing but she's also completely serious. Those two could singlehandedly destroy the faction if left to their own accord.

"Yeah, they are the definition of the terrible two but my kids can be a handful," I say. "For you and Zander they are perfect little angels but when they are with me or their father they attempt to burn the apartment down while simultaneously flooding it."

"They can't be that bad," she laughs.

"Well, maybe not _that_ bad but close," I say joining her laughter.

"Hey! What did you do?" she asks as she moves my right sleeve higher up my arm. I watch as her smile falters then her eyes fly to mine. _Oh God! Here we go._ "Explain."

"It's not what it looks like, I swear," I say, pulling my sleeve back into place. I thought I put on a shirt that covered the bruise so this very thing wouldn't happen.

"It looks like a _handprint!_ " she exclaims. "My God, Tris, does Four hurt you?"

" _No!_ " I emphatically say, thankful Tessa is asleep and doesn't have to hear this. "Four doesn't hurt me. It was a stupid accident. He feels horrible. He doesn't abuse me. He doesn't hurt me. He's never done anything but love me. This," I hold up my arm, "isn't what it looks like."

"It looks like a bruise in the shape of his hand," she says. "Something like that doesn't get there by accident, Tris."

"I've known women who have been abused by their husbands, Stella. I am _not_ one of them," I say. "Four and I had a horrible argument a few nights ago. It was rough. We both said and did some things that we regret. If I could take back my actions, this bruise wouldn't be here. If I would have just talked to my husband like an adult instead of acting like a cantankerous 2-year-old, he wouldn't have had to turn me around to look him in the eye. We were angry and it never should have happened but he's never hurt me … not once." Her concerned eyes bore into mine as if she's trying to confirm the truth straight from my head.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Tris," she says. "It's a nasty bruise, and I just wanted to make sure you are all right."

"I am," I say. "I swear. I'm not lying."

"What are you two talking about?" Zander asks as he sits down beside Stella and drapes his arm over her shoulders. I sigh then smile up at Tobias nervously and his face falls.

"Stella saw it, didn't she?" he asks as he joins me by the tree. I nod but I'm shocked his mind went there so quickly. I guess it's haunting him more than I know.

"Saw what?" Zander asks, his curiosity peaked.

"I made a horrible mistake a few nights ago," Tobias says, pained, after a moment of silence.

"A mistake? What the hell is going on?" I gaze into Tobias' eyes and he nods so I lift my sleeve and show Zander my arm.

"Tobias Eaton, what the hell?" Zander asks, obviously getting upset. "I thought you were better than this."

"He didn't do anything wrong. He has never hurt me. _Not_. _Once_. I wouldn't put up with abuse, and I certainly wouldn't make excuses for him," I say, my voice pleading, hoping they believe me but not for my sake, for his. "You should know he would never betray me that way." I carefully lie Tessa down on the blanket beside me then turn to fully face my so-called friends. "This damn thing," I mutter under my breath. "You know, what goes on in _my_ marriage is between Four and me. It's no one else's business." My voice raises angrily with each word. "I thought you were our friends."

"We are your friends, Tris," Stella says. "Yours, too, Four. You know that."

"I know, Stella. Love, you need to calm down," Tobias softly says. Frustrated tears gather behind my eyelids, and I turn and throw myself into his arms. He envelopes me in a tight embrace.

"I am _so_ sorry, baby" I mutter into his chest. "This is all my fault. I hope one day you can forgive me."

"No, it's not your fault, love. This is all on me," he says into my hair. After my tears run dry, he puts a finger on my chin and gently tilts my head back. I expect his Four mask but he's just my sweet, agonized Tobias right now. He lowers his lips to mine and gives me a sweet, soft kiss then pulls away with an agonized sigh. "Zander, Stella, I can explain." Tobias fills them in about the details of our horrible fight Saturday night and everything that led up to it. "We were both hurt and angry. Things were said that can never be unsaid, things that can never be unheard."

"It didn't help that I was acting like a petulant child that night. He grabbed me by the arm and turned me around so that I would have to look him in the eye. That's it. _That's_ what happened. We were both shocked to see what was left behind." I point at my arm. "His touch has been much more aggressive when we're making love and he's never left bruises."

"I nearly lost my mind when I saw what I did," he says, his voice pained, regret plain on his face. "One of my greatest fears came to life right before my eyes that night. I just knew I'd lost her forever." He hates himself so much right now. "I actually left her. Who wants to be with someone who hurts them?"

"Thank, God, you came back," I say. He leans in and kisses my forehead.

"I didn't believe her at first when she said I didn't hurt her. I have two eyes; I saw what I did. I thought she was just trying to placate me, let me off the hook but she got through to me somehow. I know it was a misfortunate accident. If I were to ever intentionally hurt her, I would lose her forever. She refuses to be with a man anything like my father and who could blame her? I grabbed ahold of her when I was frustrated and angry just so I could get her to talk to me, and I will regret it and hate myself forever."

"The last thing in the world he would do is hurt me. He loves me. Can't you see he's beaten himself up over this enough already?" I ask, an aching desperation in my voice.

"Yeah, I can see that," Zander says. "Four, I know you better than to accuse you of hurting Tris. You'd cut your own arm off to keep from hurting her."

"Ugh! Don't give him any ideas, Zan," Stella says and we all laugh. I smile at Stella thankful she diffused the tension.

"Thanks," Tobias says, "not only for believing me but for worrying about Tris. I'm glad she has such good friends."

"You don't have to thank us. You are two of our closest friends," Zander says. "There are medical reasons why you might bruise easier, Tris. Come by the infirmary, and I'll run some blood tests."

"Is this something we should be concerned about?" Tobias asks.

"I don't think so," he says. "But it's best to get it checked out."

"Okay," I say. If there were an innocuous medical reason for the severity of the bruise, maybe it would give Tobias some peace of mind. "I'll stop in when I have some free time."

"Sounds good."

"Hey, I meant to ask when you sat down, who was that woman with the twins?" Stella asks.

"You won't believe it," I say. "That was Molly Atwood's sister."

"As in _Molly_ Molly?"

"Yeah," I say.

"What are the odds of that?" Zander mutters mainly to himself.

"Four and I thought the same thing," I say.

"I still think it was a coincidence that she was here, and I don't see her as a threat," Tobias says.

"Was she investigated when Molly was arrested?" Stella asks.

"She was," he says. "As a matter of fact, each member of Molly, Drew, and even Peter's families was heavily scrutinized. They all came back clean with no vendetta against Dauntless, Tris, or me."

"That's good to know," Zander says. "Especially after the news I received this morning."

"What news?" I ask but before he can tell me Tyler and Teags interrupt.

"Mommy, Mommy!" he yells as he runs over from the playground with his baby sister right on his heels chanting Dadda over and over again. When they reach us they're both flushed and out of breath.

"I think you two need to sit down and rest for a while," I say as I pull Tyler into my lap, hugging him tightly. Teags launches herself at Tobias who wraps her in his embrace. "You look tired."

"I'm not tired," Tyler says, affronted that I would suggest something so absurd.

"Me eater," Teags says even though her eyelids are heavily drooping.

"I tell you what, just sit here and relax for a bit then you can play some more," I say.

"'Kay," Teagan says around a huge yawn.

"Are you going to take us home?" Tyler asks. I can't help but wonder what the pouting is about.

"Eventually," Tobias says. "Why?"

"Because we is 'pose to get pizza and ice cream for supper with Zan and Stella," he says, his bottom lip nearly hitting the ground. "You don't want to make us miss that, do you?" I can't help but chuckle at his seriousness.

"We wouldn't dare," Tobias says. "If Stella and Zander still want to take you, you can go with them."

"Of course, they are still invited," Stella says. "Why don't you and Tris join us? We'll make an evening out of it." Tobias looks my way and I nod. A fun afternoon and evening out with our kids and our friends sounds like a pleasant way to finish up our impromptu day off.

"We'd love to join you," he says.


	16. Chapter 16

"How would you guys like to go to the Navy Pier with us?" Stella asks as I'm wiping the remnants of dessert off Tessa's face and hands as Tobias does the same with Teagan. After a long afternoon at the park watching the kids play and gossiping with Stella and Zander, we had pizza and breadsticks at Tastes of Italy and waffle bowl sundaes at the quaint little ice cream parlor next door.

"What do you think?" Tobias asks, first looking at me then each of the kids. A resounding yes echoes off the tin ceiling. They love taking advantage of my wedding gift just as much as I do.

"I want to go on the big wheel," Tyler excitedly says. "It's my favorite thing."

"Me, too," Tessa says, her pleading eyes shining.

"Can we go on it?" Tyler begs. "Please!"

"Peas!" Tessa and Teagan parrot.

"We'd love to join you, Stella," I say then I look into three sets of beseeching eyes and say, "and, of course, we'll ride the Ferris wheel."

"We can't stay out too late though," Tobias says. "It's been a very long day, and it's getting close to someone's bedtime."

"It must be Tess and Teags because I'm older and don't need as much sleep," Tyler says. I can't help but chuckle at his logic.

"I'm thinking it's getting close to your bedtime, too," I say.

"If I have to," he says with a dramatic sigh setting off giggles in his sisters.

"Do you really want to add to this chaos by having another baby?" Tobias whispers against my ear as we're leaving the ice cream parlor.

"Yeah, I do," I say as I take his hand. I tentatively look up at him out of the corner of my eyes. I relax when I find him wearing a tender smile. I think he's warming up to the idea.

We load the kids into the car then follow Zander and Stella's full van the short distance to the freshly paved parking lot across from the Navy Pier. Since the city refurbished the Crystal Gardens building, they have been tirelessly working on making the Pier a family destination. They tore down some of the crumbling structures that couldn't be saved and put in green space, a large playground for kids, and activities aimed towards adults such as permanent sand volleyball nets, tennis courts, and rock-climbing walls. Dauntless members love those, the stupid fools. Some of the old retail space was restored and Amity's farmers market was given a permanent home along with a few new restaurants and some quirky shops. Now the council has set its sight on fixing up what used to be called the Grand Ballroom that sits at the far end of the Pier. We're not entirely sure what it will be used for but there are a lot of possibilities including a secondary wedding location so more than one couple can get married on the same day and centrally located permanent council office space. The final decision is on the docket for this month's meeting.

"Hey, Zander," I call out after I remember something. "Earlier you mentioned that you got some news this morning." We got interrupted by some hyper kids, and we forgot to finish our conversation. "You hinted it was bad news. What's going on?" From the way his face falls, I know this isn't going to be good.

"Oh, yeah," he says eyeing the kids. I'm carrying a worn-out Teagan, Tobias is walking, holding both Tyler and Tessa's hands, and Zane, Nash, Nya, Sadine, and Gavin are encompassing their parents. "Why don't we let the kids ride the carousel and then I'll explain?" I was right. If he specifically doesn't want to talk in front of the kids, it's definitely something bad.

"Gavin, can you keep a close eye on Tessa and Teags?" Tobias asks. "I'll throw in a little extra when you watch the kids Saturday night."

"You don't have to do that, Four," he says. "I'm happy to watch them."

"Do you want to ride a horsey, Teags?" I ask when I can't get her to budge from my arms. She's usually not this clingy unless it's with her father. "Mommy and Daddy will be right here watching you. When you're done, we'll ride the big wheel."

"I done," she mutters sleepily.

"Okay. You can stay with Mommy." We send the rest of the kids to the carousel to ride for 15 minutes. Zander assures us that's plenty of time to give us his news. We find a bench within view of our brood and sit down.

"I got a call from Jack Kang this morning, and the city isn't pursuing charges against Olivia," he morosely says. I grip Teagan a little tighter to me, rubbing small circles on her back. "As a matter of fact, her doctors apparently made a very strong case for her immediate release from the mental health facility stating she's no longer a danger to herself or others." My heart rate picks up substantially at this news, and Tobias wraps me in his arms, gently kissing my temple.

"What?" I mutter, stunned, as Tobias asks, "They aren't seriously entertaining the idea, are they?"

"How can they think she's okay?" I ask.

"I'm afraid they're taking the request quite seriously," he says. "Since I'm the doctor of record who had her committed I requested and was granted her entire medical history. I should have a general overview of her progress for you in a few days. They will take my opinion into consideration also but it won't be weighed as heavily because my specialty is not psychiatric medicine."

"I don't mean to sound conceited here but what about what I want?" I ask. "She tried to k-i-l-l me, and she's just going to walk free? How is that right? Where's the justice in that? Lauren even got five years for her involvement in that scandal, and she was blackmailed into doing it. She didn't physically hurt anyone, not like the b-i-t-c-h did." We've taken up spelling certain words around the kids now that they have the tendency to repeat everything.

"I agree with you wholeheartedly, Tris, but the city sees something different. Their stance is that the nearly two years she's been involuntarily committed to the health care facility has been punishment enough. I don't know how they've reached their decision but I'm hoping her records help. I agree that time served, so to speak, is not adequate punishment but I'm not sure there is anything we can do." The hell there isn't.

"There has to be something we can do," I assert. "By the way, how involved in the decision-making process is her father? Or mine for that matter? Shouldn't the council have the final say in whether a dangerous person is let loose on society?"

"Her father?" Zander questions, confused.

"Her father is Kent Nelson, one of Candor's leaders," Tobias answers.

"Okay. Yeah, I think I knew that. The final step in determining if she goes free is petitioning the council but your father will have to recuse himself for obvious reasons, Tris. I'm sure her father will, too," Zander says. "I'll definitely confirm that tomorrow with Jack though. He shouldn't be able to sway the decision. He's too close to the case." I let out a frustrated sigh.

"I really didn't think I'd have to deal with her ever again," I say.

"Mama, otay?" Teagan asks, sensing my stress. Her arms are wrapped around my neck, and she's resting her head on my shoulder.

"I'm fine, my sweet girl," I say, kissing her head. "You don't have to worry about me."

"You won't have to deal with her, love," Tobias says. "I promise. I'll make sure of that."

"I know this isn't what either of you wanted to hear," Zander says. "I tried my best. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I say.

"And we thank you for what you've tried to do," Tobias says. "Keep us in the loop."

"I definitely will," he says. "One other thing, they will more than likely need affidavits at the minimum from both of you going over your history with Olivia."

"I kind of figured that," I say.

"Me, too," Tobias says.

"I hope this news didn't ruin your day," Stella says. "I know what she put you through."

"I'm not happy about this … development but I refuse to let her steal my happiness," I say.

"I'm proud of you," Tobias whispers in my ear. I look up just in time for his lips to press against mine. Electricity sparks a flame of desire, and I moan softly as he pulls away. I swear I hear Zander and Stella both lightly snicker. My face burns bright but I don't care. I love my husband. The carousel slowly stops and the kids make their way to us.

"Who's ready for the Ferris wheel?" I call out. Seven sets of hands pop up and they dance around excitedly. "Don't fall asleep Teags. We're going to go on the big wheel. Do you have to go potty?"

"I do," Tessa says. I should have been tipped off by her jittery dancing but I guess I mistook it for excitement. After a quick potty break for everyone, we head to one of my favorite wedding presents. Since we all won't fit in one gondola because of safety regulations, we bid goodnight to Stella, Zander, and their kids and wait for the next car. Tobias and I sit on the bench, Tessa on my lap and Teagan on Tobias' with Tyler between us.

"Why don't you guys tell us what you did last night and this morning before we met up with you at the park." We listen carefully as each of them regale us with their tales. They played games then watched a movie and ate popcorn. Before bedtime, the girls helped make a fort out of sheets and various pieces of furniture with Sadine and Nya then Tyler, Zane, and Nash infiltrated, tearing it all apart. Sounds like they had a great time. They're definitely all in agreement that they need to spend more time at Zander and Stella's.

"What about the park this morning?" Tobias asks.

"I swinged … a lot," Tessa says as she plays with my hair. "I goed weally high."

"I slide," Teagan says as she snuggles in Tobias' arms. Sometimes I think it's her favorite place to be. Who could blame her though? It's definitely one of my favorite places, that's for sure.

"Zane and me explored the woods," Tyler excitedly says.

"I hope Gavin and Nash were with you," I say, my chest tightening thinking about my not quite 5-year-old in the woods with his best friend.

"Yeah and Zan," he says. "No girls allowed." I return his bright, infectious smile. "It was so cool."

"I'm glad you had fun," Tobias says. If I'm not mistaken, I hear a tinge of jealousy in his tone.

"I played with Zane, too," Tessa says dreamily.

"Yeah, Zane kissed Tessa," Tyler says with a clear look of disgust on his face, "before her falled." Uh oh!

"What? Did he kiss her on the cheek?" Tobias asks like the overprotective father he is.

"No, the lips," Tyler says. I look down at my girl and she's smiling ear from ear. Tobias must be looking at her, too, because I hear a growl emanate from deep in his chest, and I can't help my giggle.

"This isn't funny, Beatrice Grace." Ooh! My full name! "This is how it starts. First, an innocent kiss then our daughter is shacking up with some good for nothing loser, barefoot and pregnant." I momentarily wonder if that's what my dad thought about him but quickly shake off the depressing thought.

"Careful," I quietly say. "Little ears." We definitely don't want Tyler telling Zane that we think he's a good for nothing loser. "Not to mention the Parrish's are in the next car. They might be able to hear us." Tobias grumbles something under his breath that I can't quite make out. He's going to be a joy to live with when the girls become teenagers. I don't know whose hormones will be worse, his or theirs.

"I don't want you kissing anymore boys until you're 30, Pebbles," he says. "That goes for you, too, Teags." She grins up at him, sleepily.

"What about me?" Tyler asks, upset he's being left out of the conversation.

"No kissing any boys until you're 30, buddy," I say with a chuckle.

"I'm not going to kiss any _boys_ ," he says. He looks at me like I'm nuts.

"Your mother thinks she's being funny but she's not," Tobias says and I roll my eyes at him. He's the one who's being absurd. "No kissing any girls until you are 30."

"I'm not kissing any girls either," he says, turning his nose up like it's the most disgusting thing he's ever heard in his entire life. Yeah right! Tessa and Teagan look at him then lean over and kiss him smack dab in the middle of each cheek. Tobias and I burst out laughing. Tyler on the other hand frowns and hurriedly wipes the affection off his cheeks. "Don't kiss me." They giggle loudly and kiss him again. "Mommy, make them stop." I have to force myself to stop laughing and remember they're violating his personal space no matter how cute it is.

"Tessa, Teagan, enough," I say. They each frown, and Tyler sticks his tongue out at them one at a time. "I saw that, mister."

"Sorry, Mommy," he says, pouting. "I'm gonna look at the city from over there." He moves across the car and kneels on the bench, looking out at the picturesque cityscape. Tobias and I stand the girls between us so they, too, can look out at the scenery.

"So, you're really okay with Zane kissing Tessa?" Tobias softly asks after a few quiet moments. I raise my brows at him.

"You're telling me that you're really not okay with it. They're just kids, baby. It doesn't mean anything"

"But he's more than twice her age, Tris," he says and a giggle erupts from deep in my chest. He narrows his eyes at me.

"You're acting like she's 15 and he's 30," I say shaking my head. "He's 5."

"I should have known I wouldn't get any support from you," he mutters. "You let Teags sleep with Liam."

"Nap, Tobias … _nap_ not sleep together. _Dear God!_ They're babies," I say.

"I lub Yiam," Teagan says.

"I know you do, sweetheart," I say, running my hand over her soft waves. Tobias throws his hands up in the air and sighs loudly. "Teags, tell your daddy he's being silly."

"Silly, Dadda!" she says, a huge smile on her face.

"Don't ever get married and leave me, okay?" He holds his arms out to our baby.

"Neber," she says as she goes to him without hesitation. He sweeps her up and hugs her tightly. "Lub 'ou, Dadda," she says as she puckers up. I can't keep the smile off my face as I watch him kiss her then whisper in her ear. She turns my way and says, "Lub 'ou, Mama."

"I love you, too," I say then I get a big, wet kiss, too.

After a full rotation of the big wheel in unusual silence – my kids are never this quiet unless they're asleep – Tobias says, "Girls, did you know that I had the Ferris wheel fixed up for your mommy as a wedding present?" Their eyes widen with wonder as they shake their heads.

"I was there," Tyler says. "I saw him give it to her."

"Did I see?" Tessa asks.

"No, you weren't born yet," I tell her.

"Was I?" Teagan asks.

"You was in Mommy's tummy," Tyler matter-of-factly says. He knows how much Tobias and I love him but sometimes I hear sadness in his voice when he talks about me being pregnant with Teagan and it pains me. To this day, we don't know why he cut ties with Evelyn after he came to live with us. He still won't talk about her. I have my theories but I've made peace with the fact that I'll probably never know. "Why did you do it?"

"Well, I fell madly in love with your mommy on this Ferris wheel shortly after we met. Do you want to hear the story?"

"Yeah!" all three kids eagerly say at once. After settling the girls in our laps again and Tyler taking his seat between us, Tobias tells our children every detail of following me the night of my first capture the flag. Listening to him retell a very important event in our love story makes me overly emotional and tears flow unrestricted down my cheeks. I try to wipe them away but there are so many. I wonder when the PMS will go away. This is ridiculous. One minute I'm bawling like a baby and the next I'm growling like a grizzly. It's so weird.

"You all right, love?" Tobias asks, noticing my irrational tears.

"I'm fine," I say. "I was enjoying your story."

"Can we hear more?" Tyler asks, enthralled.

"Yeah!" Tessa and Teagan excitedly say.

"Sure." We sit for another hour telling them about how we met, fell in love, got married, and adopted Tyler and Tessa. We've told this story before but they seem to like it better each time they hear it.

"'Bout me?" Teags asks holding her hands by her head in question. I gaze lovingly into Tobias' eyes remembering exactly how I worded this with Tyler.

"Well, Mommy and Daddy love each other so much that that love spilled over and gave us you. You were such a big surprise."

"Prize?" she asks, looking up at her father.

"Yeah," Tobias chuckles. "We weren't expecting you at all but we loved you the moment we found out about you. You looked just like a peanut." She giggles at her old nickname.

"You were my greatest Valentine's Day present ever," I say.

"Balantime's Day?" she questions.

"Yeah, we found out you were in my belly on Valentine's Day," I say. "No one can ever top that no matter how hard they try."

"We should get home," Tobias says. "Who's tired?"

"I am," I say as I raise my hand and yawn, causing my family to laugh. They are so easily entertained tonight.

Once the Ferris wheel comes to a slow stop, the operator unlocks the gondola, and we file out. My eyes sweep our surroundings looking for the Parrish's but they're nowhere to be found. We stop by the farmers market to get some fresh produce since we're running low then file to our car. After getting everyone situated, we make a leisurely trip home. I expect the kids to fall asleep before we get back to the compound but they're all hanging on for dear life when we pull up in front of the Pier even though it's obvious they're on their last legs. Within an hour, Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan are in bed for the night, Tobias has taken the car back in the underground parking garage, and we're lounging on the couch with a couple empty popcorn bowls on the coffee table in front of us. There's a loud action movie playing on the TV but neither one of us are paying any attention to it. We're more focused on each other. We've been making out almost nonstop since he put the DVD in. I don't think I could come up with the name of the movie right now. Hell, I probably couldn't even come up with my own name. I swear I'm intoxicated from his skillful kisses.

"How about we take this to the bedroom?" he murmurs breathlessly, his eyes shining with lust. "I want to be inside you right now." He runs his hand under the hem of my tank top, up my stomach, and cups my bare breast, teasing the hardened peak with his thumb while our lips move together. If he keeps doing that, I'll give in no matter how I'm feeling but the truth is I'm sore; my shoulders are stiff again, and I can still feel the pronounced ache between my thighs from his enthusiastic pace last night.

"I'd like to say yes."

"Then do," he says, rolling the pebbled nipple between his thumb and fingers then gently pinching causing me to gasp.

" _Enough_ ," I groan, dragging his hand away from my chest. "I'm sore, baby … all over."

"You're still sore?" he asks, alarmed. "Oh. My. God. Did I hurt you last night? Should I take you to the infirmary? I knew I was too rough. Damn it, Tris! You lied to me." He starts muttering what sounds like self-loathing profanities under his breath.

"This is exactly why I hate telling you these things," I murmur as I get up and head into the kitchen.

"I worry about you," he says from right behind me, causing me to jump. I didn't know he followed me. "Sorry, love." He flops into a dining room chair and sighs. "You know I don't want you hurting because of me."

"Stop it, Tobias Eaton," I say with a sigh. I stand about six feet away and stare at him.

"I won't bite," he says. "Unless you want me to." A small smile plays at the edge of his lips. I move closer, and he pulls me down onto his lap. I expect his lips to land on mine but he makes no move to kiss me. "I should never hurt you." I start to protest but he silences me with a reverential kiss and I melt against him. "I know you get tired of hearing the same things again and again but it's how I feel. I should be careful with you, love you right."

"Tobias, baby, you do love me right … in every way," I say. "Do you like having sex with me?" His brows furrow like he doesn't understand the question.

"Of course, I do. You should know that after nearly three years together. I can't get enough of you."

"Do you want to continue having sex with me?"

"What are you getting at?" He actually sounds a little pissy.

"It doesn't matter if you're rough like you were last night or if you're gentle like you've been so many times before, I _always_ feel you when we're done." Once again, he looks at me like I've lost him. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm always some degree of sore."

"Why don't I know this?" he quietly asks.

"You do know. I've told you." I'm quiet, letting it sink in. "Unless we stop altogether, which neither of us want, I'll be sore. But I need you to understand this, you … don't … hurt … me. You've never hit me. You've never said cruel things. You've never belittled me. You've never undermined me. You've never forced yourself on me. You've never tried to kill me. I've been hurt, Tobias, but never by you. You should know that." He wraps his arms tightly around me.

"Remember after our first time?" he murmurs. I nod, a sappy smile on my face.

"How could I forget? At that point, it was the best night of my life. You were patient, gentle, so loving. I didn't know what to expect, and it was so much more than I could have imagined. And when you gave me my first orgasm, I didn't think it could ever get better than that. Boy was I wrong. Each time is just a little bit better."

"We remember the same event so differently."

"Please tell me you remember more than just that painful scream?"

"I do," he says, "but the fact that it hurt you is still front and center in my memory."

"Did you honestly think it wouldn't hurt me?" I ask.

"I guess I didn't think about that part," he bashfully says.

"What did you think about?" I ask, intrigued.

"I wondered if I would be able to last long enough to make it any good for you. I worried that I wouldn't be able to make you come. I worried that I wouldn't be any good at it. I worried that I would only last seconds." A giggle escapes my lips before I can clamp my mouth shut. What he's saying is definitely not meant to be humorous.

"Sorry but for your peace of mind, you've always had mad skills in the bedroom," I say kissing his right ear. "Go on. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Mad skills, huh?" I nod. "I love you so much, Tris." He grazes the back of his knuckles down my cheeks.

"I love you, too, Tobias," I say.

"Sometimes I can't separate it." Now he's lost me. Apparently, the look on my face betrays how I'm feeling and he tries to explain. "I can't separate the fact that I'm nearly too big for you to take and the vow to never hurt the ones I love the most in this life. I should never hurt you and the fact of the matter is, I do every time I push myself into your body to love you." I can't help it, I blush at his words.

"It's not painful, Tobias. It's a stretching, full sensation that I quite honestly can't get enough of. And after you pull out of me, you leave a sweet reminder that you were inside me. I love that. I wouldn't change our love life for anything. You are perfect for me. You have the uncanny knack to read my body. You know what I want and need before I do."

"I just wish you weren't so sore," he says.

"It just means we had a really, _really_ good time last night," I say with a loving smile.

"Do you think I'm being silly?"

"Not at all," I say. "You're concerned about me and my well-being. It shows me how much you love and care for me. You don't want to hurt me. You don't want me hurting. I respect that. I love that." I absentmindedly run my fingers through his messy hair, combing it into some semblance of order.

"You always put my fears to rest, love," he says as he nuzzles the crook of my neck. "What did I do to deserve you?" He then leans back and stares into my eyes. I relax into his arms as his lips find mine. He coaxes my mouth open with his tongue and thrusts it through my parted lips, finding mine and stroking it with a delicate touch. I thread my fingers into his hair and pull him closer to me as the kiss deepens. A loud knock pulls us apart.

"I wonder who that could be this late," he breathlessly says.

"I don't know," I say as I get off his lap.

"Hey, Will," Tobias says as he opens the door. "What can we do for you?"

"Can I come in?" he asks.

"Of course." Tobias steps to the side, letting our unexpected guest in.

"I'm sorry for just dropping in like this unannounced but I thought you two should know something."

"What's that?"

"There's a rumor going around Dauntless that Four is abusing you, Tris, and by the looks of your arm, I guess they might be true," he tightly says, his eyes on my bruise. _Great._


	17. Chapter 17

"Son of a bitch!"

"Tris, love, calm down," Tobias says with an irritated sigh but I know it's not me he's upset with. It's himself. It's the situation. He can't seem to escape it. _We_ can't seem to escape it.

"I'm not explaining this to one more damn person," I spit as I flop down on the couch, crossing my arms over my chest like some tantruming child. Tobias sits beside me, his elbows resting on his knees, a defeated look on his face. _So much for trying to keep this under wraps._ Will's penetrating glare enrages me. "Don't you look at him like that, Will Drake." His eyes fly to mine. "How _dare_ you come into _our_ home and accuse one of your best friends of something so horrible? Leave. Now. Don't _ever_ come back." I point at the door, my chest heaving with unadulterated fury.

"Beatrice Grace Eaton, enough," Tobias says then he turns his attention to Will. "What have you heard? Where did you hear it? Does it seem widespread?"

"I can't believe this," I mutter as I rise and start restlessly pacing. I won't let the compound look at him differently. I won't.

"It was the main topic in the dining hall tonight," Will says. "It seems like it spread like wildfire. It's everywhere."

"I need to know exactly what they're saying, Will," Tobias says.

"General consensus is you beat her, Four." Tears spring into my eyes and nausea rolls over me. I turn and run to the powder room, getting to the porcelain bowl just in the nick of time. My stomach retches until it's totally empty and even then, it doesn't stop.

"Can I get you anything, love?" Tobias asks, his voice pained.

"Water please." I turn and sit on the toilet seat after rinsing my mouth, trying to catch my breath. Within a minute, Tobias holds out a glass of water, and I reach for it with a trembling hand.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his face full of love and worry.

"Why is this happening?" Tears roll down my cheeks and emotion sticks in my throat.

"Please don't cry, love," he says as he takes me in his arms. "We'll get through this."

"Why do our friends think you would hurt me?" I blubber against his hard chest.

"You do have my handprint on your arm," he says, as he caresses the back of my head.

"You didn't mean it."

"I know but it doesn't change the fact that it looks bad. You know that. Anyone who sees that bruise is going to assume the worst."

"I didn't think this could get any worse," I say as I release my grip on him. He cups my cheeks with his loving hands and dries my tears with a few gentle swipes of his calloused thumbs. "I love you so much. I'm so sorry."

"I know and I love you," he says. "Don't be so mad at Will. He cares about you. He doesn't want anything bad to happen to you."

"I didn't like how he was looking at you," I utter. Movement catches my eye and I notice Will lingering on the other side of the doorway.

"I'm sorry, Tris," he says. "I should have known better. I didn't believe a word I heard tonight but then I saw the bruises. I assumed the worse. Can I ask what happened?"

"It's really none of your business," I spit.

"Tris," Tobias quietly admonishes. "The gist is we had an argument, words were said, and I grabbed her to get her to talk to me. That's what happened." I step into the dining room and stand in front of my friend, my hands on my hips, my eyes hard. I'm quiet as competing emotions battle inside me.

"This has been incredibly hard on him, Will. I'm not going to let him be hurt further," I finally say, trying to keep calm. "This bruise was just as much my fault as it was his. He's never hurt me not once but my so-called friends thinking the worse about the man I chose to spend my life with is tearing me up inside. I'm glad you're concerned about me, I really am; it means the world to me. But what about him?" Rage is edging out anguish at the moment and once again I'm seething. "How can you walk in here, see a bruise and condemn him without asking a single question." He tries to interrupt but I stop him. "Don't try to deny it. I saw it on your face. You saw this," I point at my arm, "and automatically thought whatever you heard tonight was true. That's not being a very good friend to him."

"You're right," Will says. "I jumped to conclusions."

"He's not his father," I mutter petulantly.

"I know he's not. I'm sorry, Four. I didn't mean to make things worse. I just thought you deserved to know what was being said beyond these walls."

"We appreciate it," Tobias says. "And you're right. The past few days have been hell for us."

"It almost cost us everything," I say, anger still simmering just beneath the surface.

"And you don't have to apologize, Will," Tobias says. "Like I said to Stella and Zander earlier, I'm glad my wife has friends who passionately care for her. I don't blame you for thinking the rumors are true with how it looks."

"Can I give you some advice, Tris?" he asks and I nod. "Keep that bruise covered up until it goes away. People who really know you two will laugh off the rumors but only if they don't see that."

"I will," I say.

"I've got to get home," he says. "Christina will be wondering where I am."

"I'll walk you out," Tobias says. I follow them into the living room and lie down on the couch while I watch them go to the door. I stare at the ceiling, leaving them to talk. How are we going to get through this? We've never had bad reputations in the compound. Yes, most members have a healthy fear of Four but what does this mean now? Are they going to look at him as a monster? Are they going to stop trusting that he knows what's best for Dauntless?

"Mommy." I lift my eyelids to find the most beautiful light blue orbs looking at me somewhat forlornly.

"Hey, buddy," I say as I drag myself into a sitting position. "What are you doing up?"

"I hear voices," he whispers. "I gots scared." I drag him up into my lap and he wraps his arms around me.

"There's nothing to be scared about. Uncle Will dropped by for a minute to tell Mommy and Daddy something," I say. "I'm sorry we woke you up."

"Did Daddy hurt you again?"

" _Again?_ " Tobias and I say at the same time. I look up and meet his bemused eyes.

"What do you mean _again_?" I quietly ask, keeping my voice as steady as possible. I'm so glad Will left already. He would second guess our denials of abuse.

"He made you cry," he says. "'Member?"

"I remember," I softly say. "Why would you ask that?"

"You was fighting," he pouts.

"Buddy, we weren't fighting," Tobias says, even more confused.

"Mommy was yelling."

"How long were you listening?"

"A while," he finally confesses. "I waked up and my light was out. I was scared so I comed to get you but you was mad so I didn't get you." I tighten my embrace, and I hear him yawn.

"The news Uncle Will told us upset me … terribly. I wasn't yelling at Daddy," I say. "I'm sorry I woke you up. How about we get you back into bed?"

"Okay," he sighs.

"I'll carry you," Tobias says.

"No. I want my mommy," Tyler stubbornly says clinging to me as his father tries to lift him from my lap.

"I'll get him," I say. "Come on, buddy." I shift him and he wraps his arms around my neck and holds tight. We head upstairs and into his dark room. "How about we rock while Daddy finds a new bulb?"

"Okay, Mommy," he sleepily says. It won't take long for him to fall back to sleep. He played hard today.

After a quiet moment he asks, "Are you sad?"

"No, I'm not sad," I say. "I'm actually quite happy. Why?"

"I don't want you and Daddy fighting."

"Oh, buddy. I can't promise you that Daddy and I will never fight ever again," I say. He looks up at me with a pout on his lips and fear in his eyes. "You see, Daddy and I both have our own thoughts and ideas on things. Just like you do." I kiss his forehead. "Sometimes we agree on a subject and sometimes we don't. We always try to talk through our differences because we don't want to hurt each other's feelings and come up with a compromise."

"What's that?" he asks.

"Let's see. We compromised that time Tessa and Teagan wanted vanilla ice cream and you wanted chocolate by having hot fudge sundaes. Do you understand?" He nods. "But there are other times that Mommy and Daddy's views are so far apart that it's hard to find a middle ground and a discussion can turn into an argument."

"I don't like it when you fight," he says.

"I want you to be honest with me, my sweet boy, do you think Mommy and Daddy fight a lot?" I ask, fearing his answer but needing to know what he thinks.

He silently stares up at me for so long that I think he fell asleep with his eyes open before saying, "No. You don't fight a lot but I don't like it at all. I don't want you getting a 'vorce. I don't like you sad. I like when we all happy."

"I'll never lie to you, Tyler. I wasn't very happy earlier but it had absolutely nothing to do with you, your sisters, or your daddy. Someone made a mistake, and I was just letting Will know the truth. I shouldn't have yelled but I was upset."

"You still upset?" he asks.

"No," I say. "I'm very happy sitting here with you like this. We don't do this very often."

"I know. I like it, too."

"Do you know how much I love you?" I ask as I kiss his head.

"To the moon and back," he states with a sleepy smile on his face.

"You changed my life," I say.

"How?"

"You made me a mommy," I say. "You are such a special child. Remember that always. I love you with my whole heart and soul." A big grin spreads across his face as his hooded eyelids finally close.

"Love you, Mommy," he murmurs almost incoherently.

"I love you, too, my sweet boy," I say as I kiss his forehead.

"That boy loves you more than anything else in this world," Tobias softly says from the doorway. I was concentrating so hard on Tyler that I missed the fact that my handsome husband was leaning up against the doorjamb listening to us.

"He loves you, too," I say.

"I know but you're the one he always wants. You always have been. You were Mommy long before I was Daddy."

"Are you … _jealous_?" I ask.

"Jealous? No, not at all," he says. "I'm glad you two have such a strong bond. I think we're both lucky. He could have hated us."

"No. He's too sweet to hate anyone, well except for the sperm donor," I say. We refuse to utter his biological father's name, especially in his presence. Even after all this time and knowing that he and Evelyn are both deceased, Tyler thinks that somehow he'll be taken away from us. Each time the issue arises, we reassure him the best we can but he still has nightmares for days. I'd give anything to punch that stupid judge in the face. He's never had to listen to Tyler's screaming and pleading and look into his terrified eyes as he comes out of a nightmare.

I continue gently rocking Tyler while Tobias changes the burnt-out lightbulb then he gently lifts him off my lap and puts him back in bed. I tuck him in safe and sound then we both softly kiss his head.

"Goodnight, my sweet boy," I whisper before leaving him to hopefully sleep the rest of the night.

"I think we need to talk about the rumors," Tobias says as we make our way into the hallway. I don't want to but I know he's right. We need to figure out how to address them. "How about we go up to the roof?"

"Okay. It's really a nice night," I say. "I'll go get the baby monitor if you get us something cold to drink."

"Cider? Lemonade? Tea?"

"I'd take a lightly sweetened iced tea please."

"I'll be right back." He places a soft kiss on my temple on his way by me.

"Hey, baby?" He stops on the top step and looks back over his shoulder at me. "Will you leave the upstairs door open and the light on so Tyler knows where we are just in case he wakes up again? I don't want him to get scared. He's had a rough enough night as it is."

"Of course," he says. He turns back around and heads down the stairs as I get the monitor off my nightstand. I go into the nursery and check on the girls before I head to the roof and find that they're both sound asleep. I softly kiss their heads then make my way to our rooftop oasis. The cityscape is still blazing bright, lighting up our intimate seating area. I get comfortable on the loveseat and put the baby monitor on the small table next to me.

While I wait for Tobias, my mind automatically runs through every moment of the past few days trying to figure out who would have started the rumor about us, and I come up empty. If people were abuzz with gossip during dinner, it couldn't have been Stella or Zander who first said something to someone. We were with them when the rumor started going around the compound, not to mention they confronted us with their suspicions head on then heard us out. Whoever did this didn't say anything to me they just took it upon themselves to gossip. I'd like to kill whoever did this. They're making our lives a hell of a lot harder than they need to be.

"Here's your iced tea, love," Tobias says startling me out of my reverie as he hands me the tall glass. "Want to talk about it?"

"I was just trying to figure out who saw this damn thing and instead of coming to me decided to spread it around the compound," I say as I take a sip of the refreshing liquid. It's a nice evening but it's warmer than usual for this time of night, and there's no breeze.

"It doesn't really matter who did it," he says. "It's been done."

"But it's not fair," I whine. "We just came to terms with it and was putting it behind us."

"Sometimes life's not fair, Tris," he says. "It's dealt me some pretty shitty hands before. We can and we will get through this."

"So, what do we do? Deny it, confirm it, _ignore_ it? What?"

"I think that unless things spiral out of control, we should just ignore it," he says. "Rumors fly around the compound all the time. It's nothing new. Next week something else will peak everyone's interest."

"You're right on that account," I say with a small smile. "I'm still not sure how the warrior faction turns into a bunch of gossiping old busybodies at the drop of a tasty tidbit." I watch him out of the corner of my eye as I take another sip of my tea. "Just remember that you're not alone." I reach up and cup his cheek. "We're in this together, for better or worse."

"That actually makes me feel a little better." We stare into each other's eyes, and I see the war raging inside of him. I want nothing more than to take the pain away.

"What does this mean for us, Tobias? Are we okay?"

"Of course, we are. We're fine, love. I've accepted that it was an accident. I still don't like that I left marks on you but I refuse to let it ruin what we have. I love you so much," he says as he reaches up and sweeps my hair off my shoulder then gently massages my stiff muscles. "But to be honest, I'm worried Dauntless members will look at me differently from now on. I'm also worried that they'll think you are making excuses for me if we have to address the rumors. I don't want anyone thinking I'm controlling you."

"Normally I would say who cares what other people think but I happen to agree with you. I don't want your reputation to suffer," I say. He brushes his thumb over my bottom lip, rescuing it from my teeth. I didn't realize I was gnawing on it. "You have no idea how much I wish I could go back in time and change that whole night … well except for the sex. The sex was divine but then again it always is."

"Are you trying to distract me, love?"

"Would I do that?" I giggle as heat not only floods my cheeks but between my thighs, too. I take a sip of my iced tea and gaze at him over the rim of the glass.

"I know you would," he growls. "Tease."

"How about that quickie you were begging for earlier?" I suggest, running a finger up and down his cotton-covered chest. "I want you inside me."

"You told me you're sore, Tris," he softly but quite sternly says. "I'm not going to make it worse for you." I set my glass beside the baby monitor then move to straddle his lap. A deep groan rumbles in his chest when I run my fingers into his hair and move my lips to his neck.

"I need you deep inside me, baby. I need you to make this ache go away," I whisper against his sensitive right ear as I seductively grind my hips against his. I immediately feel him react, getting hard for me. "You want me, too."

"Of course, I do," he growls as he tightens his grip on my hips. The city lights shining down on us like a spotlight extinguish nearly all at once indicating it's midnight. I reach down and drag my tank top up my body and off over my head. He moans when I bare my chest to him. " _Tris_."

"Please." I know I'm using my feminine wiles and that it may be selfish but I don't care. I know what I want; I want him.

He stares deeply into my wanting eyes for what seems like a lifetime, his gaze penetrating my very soul. Suddenly, his mouth lands on mine in an eager kiss that threatens to consume me. We move our lips together impatiently as our clothes fall away one article at a time leaving us naked and writhing against each other.

"Get on your knees with your arms resting on the back of the loveseat." I give him another fiery kiss then climb off his lap and follow his instructions. I may still be sore from last night but this insatiable need I'm feeling right now will only quiet once he's deep inside me. He shrouds my body with his and kisses every inch of my exposed neck. As his fingertips lightly graze my sides, he presses his lips against my sensitive ear, and says, "Spread your legs wider for me, love." I move my knees even farther apart as a subtle blush spreads across my chest. "Damn, you're so sexy." I feel his lips skim down my spine dropping sporadic kisses as his hands wander over my bare, heated skin. I involuntarily arch my back, presenting myself to him even more as my breath gets caught in my throat. I expect him to enter me so when I instead feel the velvety tip of his tongue glide over my moist opening I flinch.

"Oh, baby," I moan. "That feels so good." I fist my hands in the pillows I'm resting on and push my body towards his exploring tongue and lips. He takes his sweet time kissing every inch of my exposed flesh before concentrating on tasting me. He gently nibbles on my folds then soothes the sting first with a delicate kiss and then with the glide of his tongue. He's gotten so much better at this than the first time. He knows every inch of my body and just how to wring every ounce of pleasure from it. "Oh, Tobias." He then thrusts his insatiable tongue inside me, making love to me with his mouth. " _Aah!_ "

"Have I ever told you how amazing you taste?" he asks as he moves his mouth to the back of my thighs. _Holy_ _fuck!_ "Kind of a cross between plums and honey. So delicious." I'm rendered speechless from his unorthodox compliment and my body burns. He thoroughly explores the back of each thigh unlike he's ever done while his fingers gently roll my painfully stiff nipples.

"Oh, God!" I moan as he moves his tongue to attack my needy bundle of nerves. He lightly circles, barely touching the aching nub then he applies more pressure as he laps at it. He tightly wraps his arms around my thighs, holding me in place when I try to get away from his merciless tongue. He takes his time, savoring me with leisurely, decadent strokes over my nubbin. I bite down on the loveseat cushions as my entire body starts to quake. He has me wound so tightly I fear the power of the unraveling. "Tobias! Oh, my God!" Knowing how close I am, he concentrates on just the right spot that makes me sees stars. "Right there! Right there! _Oh_ , _God!_ Don't stop, baby!" I scream his name as pleasure peaks in a spectacular burst of blinding white light. Tobias holds onto me, never once letting his tongue leave its mark as I ride the wave of overwhelming bliss to completion.

"Are you sure you still want to do this?" he asks, his mouth beside my ear. I'm so spent I didn't even feel him move.

"Definitely," I say, although I'm still panting from the incredible release and it doesn't come out as forceful as I mean.

"Do you think you're ready for me?"

"Mm." I moan my affirmation incoherently, turning my head and searching out his mouth. As we move our lips together fervently, he slowly inserts a thick finger inside me while gently circling my overly sensitive, swollen nubbin with his thumb.

"I just can't say no," he murmurs almost inaudibly. I doubt he even knows he said it. He removes his finger then places his hard length at my entrance. I gasp into his open mouth as he slowly pushes his way inside me. He stills letting me get used to his size once he's fully seated inside me.

"You feel so good, Tobias." I moan.

"Are you all right, love?" he roughly asks, always worried about me. He places loving butterfly kisses all along my shoulders.

"I'm more than all right," I pant. "Make love to me, baby."

Our pace is unhurried as we love each other. I reach back and twist my fingers in his hair as we leisurely move against one another. His grip on my hips almost becomes too much to bear as he slowly slides in and out of me.

"I love you," he roughly says as he moves his mouth back to mine. We kiss intimately, our tongues dancing as we thoroughly enjoy each other. We keep the pace slow but I feel a powerful release building nonetheless. I don't realize he moves his hands until one palms a swaying breast and the other gently circles my throbbing bundle of nerves.

"Oh, God!" I moan as the now very familiar pressure builds with an almost frightening intensity. "I love you, Tobias. Make me come." He presses a little harder on my nubbin as we move against each other. I drag his mouth beck to mine and kiss him hard until a massive explosion rocks my body. I throw my head back and scream out his name in pure pleasure. He lets out a rapturous groan of his own against my ear as he follows me over the edge into ecstasy. After a few more thrust, we collapse against the back of the loveseat. The only sounds I hear are our mingling heavy breaths and the crickets' nightly serenade. After a few minutes he carefully pulls out of me then drags me into his arms.

"I love you," Tobias says as he leisurely drags his fingertips up and down my spine.

"I love you, too," I tiredly say.

"I'm sorry, love," he says. "We shouldn't have friends showing up at our door asking if I beat you."

"I just wish whoever started that damn rumor would have come to us then maybe it wouldn't be half way around the compound by now," I say. "I'm sure it embarrasses you."

"I can handle it," he says. "I just don't want people looking at you differently." I sit straight up and look into his eyes, suddenly remembering something. "What is it?"

"I think I know who it was," I say. "One of the salon technicians, I don't even know her name, saw the bruise. I totally forgot about that. She gave me such an odd look. I remember at the time worrying about rumors starting. It had to be her. It couldn't have been anyone else. I'm going to talk to her."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asks. "She may think I'm putting you up to it."

"Everyone we've told has understood."

"We've only told friends who know the real me," he says. "She's just some random Dauntless member who obviously believes that Four is who I am all the time."

"I understand your point," I sigh. "I won't confront her but if things get out of hand, I will go see her."

"We should get to bed, love," he says.

"Can I get that massage before we turn in?" I ask.

"Of course." He stands up and sweeps me up into his arms. "Hold tight." I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder. "How are you doing? I made sure not to get too carried away. I didn't want things to get worse for you."

"I noticed," I say as I caress his cheek.

"I didn't want to hurt you, Tris, but I just couldn't say no," he says. "One of these days I'm going to have to learn but I'm not sure I know how."

"I don't think that's necessary," I giggle as I kiss his neck. "You always give me what I want."

"But not necessarily what you need," he grumbles. I glide my tongue up to his ear and his grumble turns to a groan. "Tris, are you trying to distract me?"

"Is it working, baby?" I ask, getting my second wind. He lies me down on our bed, and I hold him tightly when I feel him try to move away from me.

"Maybe but I thought you wanted a massage," he says. I draw his lips to mine and kiss him deeply. When I push on his chest, he rolls us over.

"What massage?" I roughly murmur as I start kissing my way down his chiseled chest.


	18. Chapter 18

"Are you ready to go, Tessa?" I call out as I descend the stairs. Today, I'm taking my little one to lunch just her and me, to the boutique to pick out big girl panties, and then to the salon for a haircut. She does need a trim but I have an ulterior motive for our final stop of the day. The rumors about me and Tobias are getting out of hand, and I thought I should go to the source, the unnamed salon technician, and confront her.

Tobias really doesn't want me to but I'm tired of all the dirty looks he's been getting this week. He may say that he can handle the negative attention but I know it's wearing on him. He's been spending more and more time out of the compound overseeing the construction at Dauntless 2.0 and getting home later and later. I know that project is very important to him but I get the feeling that he's hiding from the stares, whispers, and insinuations. I'd like to stand up in the middle of the Pit and announce at the top of my lungs that all the rumors are false but, at this point, I'm not sure our members would believe us. He's done such a good job of hiding his feelings in public for so many years that almost everyone believes the cold, callous mask he puts forth. Maybe it's time for Tobias Eaton to take center stage unless it's absolutely necessary for Four to make an appearance. I know it would be difficult for him but I really think it's for the best.

"I'm weady, Mama," Tessa says as she sits in the big club chair, which makes her look tinier than she already is. She's really cute in a black tank top with a big silver heart on the front, black shorts dotted with tiny silver hearts, and black sandals. The outfit came with silver heart-shaped ponytail holders but her dark curls are hanging loose in preparation for her salon visit.

"I go, too," Teagan excitedly says from the couch. I walk to my baby girl and pick her up.

"You're going to stay here with Tyler and Bridget," I say. She immediately starts pouting. "Before long, you'll be potty trained, too, and I'll be taking _you_ to lunch and then shopping just the two of us but today is Tessa's day. Okay?"

"'Kay," she sadly says.

"Don't forget that when Tessa and I get home that I'm taking you to Grandma and Grandpa's for the evening." Her eyes light up at this news. "You be good for Bridget."

"I will, Mama," she says.

"Me, too," Tyler says. "But I'm always good." I raise my eyebrows at him. "What?" I grin at him, shake my head, and roll my eyes. I set Teagan on her feet after a kiss and hug and she scurries away. I pick Tyler up and hug him tightly.

"You are my good boy. Don't you forget that," I say. "I love you very much."

"Love you, too, Mommy," he says as he gives me a bug bear hug. Before I sit him back down on the couch, I pepper his face with kisses. " _Stop!_ "

"Okay, I'll stop," I say. "Bridget, Tessa and I are leaving now. I'll message you when we're on our way home. Could you make sure Tyler and Teags are ready to go to my parents?"

"Of course, Tris," she says as she enters the living room from the kitchen. "Who's ready for macaroni and cheese?"

"Me!" Tyler, Tessa, and Teags all say at the same time.

"I thought you were coming with me for lunch, Tessa." She looks up at me, to the kitchen, then back up at me. "I'll tell you what, if you really want to eat here you can but you can have macaroni and cheese at the cafeteria or anything else you want. It's up to you." She looks back toward the kitchen where Bridget is helping Teags get up to the island.

"Go wit you, Mama," she says, excitedly bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Good! I've been looking forward to this all day," I say. "Let's say bye to Tyler and Teags then we'll go." I pick her up and carry her into the kitchen. She says goodbye to her brother and sister, insisting on giving them kisses then even says goodbye to Bridget.

"Can we see Dadda?" she asks as we go to pass his office door. I imagine he's out but I might as well try. The kids were asleep last night when he got home and still in bed this morning when he left. I knock on his door then walk in.

"I hope we're not interrupting," I say.

"Well, this is a nice surprise," Tobias says as he looks up from his computer. He looks haggard, like he hasn't slept in days.

"Dadda!" I set Tessa on her feet, and she sprints around the desk to her father.

"Hi, Pebbles," he says as he lifts her into his arms and hugs her tight. "I sure have missed you."

"Miss you, Dadda," she pouts. She wraps her arms around his neck and gives him a sloppy, wet kiss.

"What are two of my favorite girls doing today?" he asks. He frowns when he sees my face fall. He's so absorbed in his own troubles that he's forgotten about my date with Tessa. Hopefully, he hasn't forgotten about dare, otherwise I'll be sitting at home alone tonight twiddling my thumbs.

"We're going to lunch then picking out big girl panties," I remind him. "She hasn't had a single accident in over two weeks."

"That's my girl! Daddy's very proud of you. You're growing up so fast."

"Not a baby," she says very seriously as she shakes her head like she's discussing the state of the city's finances. "Mama, my tummy's hungwy."

"Well, we better get going then," I say. "Say bye to Daddy."

"Bye-bye, Dadda! Love you!"

"I love you, too," he says. He lets her off his lap and gets up.

"She's not the only one who's missing you," I quietly say when he reaches my side. "Bridget made macaroni and cheese for lunch. I'm sure Tyler and Teags would be happy to see you, too."

"I'll go and see them after this report is done," he says, looking guilty. "Has Mommy missed me?" I take a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"More than you know," I say as I caress his stubbled cheek. "Why don't you call it quits early today? Spend some time with the kids then you can come with me to take them to my parents." Confusion fills his face. "Dare."

"Is that tonight?" he asks and I nod. "Sure. I need the break."

"I'll text you when Tessa and I are on our way home so you can get the car and bring it to the Pire," I say. He gives me a soft kiss which quickly deepens but Tessa's giggling interrupts us.

"She's got your laugh," he says before letting me go.

"I can't deny that," I say. "Come on, little one." Tobias opens the door for us, and we step into the hallway. Tessa walks backwards waving at her father until we reach the path. "I need you to face forward and hold Mommy's hand. I don't want you to fall."

"Otay, Mama," she says. She takes my hand and swings our arms back and forth as she hums the theme song from the movie she watched this morning with her sister and brother. We leisurely walk to the cafeteria with her waving at every Dauntless member she sees, which slows our journey even more but I wouldn't change how excited she is for anything.

"So, what do you want for lunch? You can have anything in the cafeteria." She looks up at me while she thinks about her choices.

"Cake!" she squeals. I should have known. All three of my kids spend _way_ too much time with Uncle Uriah.

"You can have cake for dessert," I say. "But you have to eat some lunch first. Do you want pizza, tacos, macaroni and cheese, or something else?"

"Um. I get hot gog and mac and cheese?" she asks.

"I think that can be arranged," I say. I get her a plate with a hot dog, macaroni and cheese, mixed vegetables, and applesauce and grab myself three slices of pepperoni pizza. For some reason I feel like a bottomless pit today. I also grab two slices of chocolate cake with thick buttercream frosting and chocolate shavings then we head to a small empty table in an out of the way corner. I put our plates down then help her kneel next to me on the bench.

"Tanks, Mama," she says then she practically starts shoveling the food in her mouth. She wasn't kidding about being hungry.

"You're welcome but please slow down," I say. "I don't want you to choke."

"Otay!" she says around a mouthful of mac and cheese.

"What are you two lovely ladies doing over here all by yourselves?" Zeke asks as he approaches us with a plateful of fried chicken, potato salad, and seasoned green beans.

"We're having a celebratory lunch just the two of us," I say.

Tessa motions Zeke to her then whispers in his ear, "I get big panties." He furrows his brows in confusion and I say, "We're buying big girl panties after lunch since she hasn't had an accident in over two weeks. No more diapers."

"Good job, Tessa!" he says then kisses her cheek. "Uncle Zeke's very proud of you." She beams at his praise. "You and Four still on for dare tonight?" He slides in the bench across from me.

"We'll be there if I can drag him out of his office," I say with a sigh. "I had to remind him about it earlier."

"How are you two doing?" he quietly asks. Agony squeezes my heart painfully as the subject everyone's tiptoed around this week is finally broached. I look around the cafeteria and no one will meet my gaze. It's been like this for days. When I walk into a room all chatter dies and everyone averts their eyes. Those who are brave enough to actually meet my eyes look at me with pity. On the other hand, Tobias is met with scowls, muttered insults, and open hostility. I want to scream from the rafters that everyone is wrong but he still doesn't want to address the issue publicly.

"I'd like to say we're fine but he's pulling away from me, Zeke," I say. "I can feel it."

"I can't get him to talk to me either," he says. "Anytime I try, he tells me he has somewhere to be."

"He won't talk to me either. I know he needs some time," I say with a sigh, "but I just wish I knew what was going on in his head."

"I can't imagine anyone would believe those crazy rumors." He obviously doesn't know what happened.

"I didn't think they would either but it seems I was wrong," I murmur. "You guys are the only ones who haven't turned on him. Everyone else believes he's capable of abusing me. It's so absurd."

"Can I ask why you haven't stood up and quashed the rumors?"

"Four thought we should ignore it and at first I agreed. I thought after a day or two everything would be back to normal but we were mistaken. Now I think it wouldn't do much good. People would just think I'm making excuses for his perceived bad behavior, and he just wants to ignore the entire situation. He's crawling inside himself. I just don't know what to do."

"I have to ask – if you don't want to tell me that's fine – but what happened? How the hell was a rumor like this started?"

"You really don't know?" I search his face as I ask the question but immediately know he's not deceiving me.

"I don't. I swear."

"A salon worker saw some bruises on my arm and instead of asking me about them started spreading rumors around the compound," I say. "I actually plan to finally confront her today."

"We're Dauntless. It's abnormal if we _don't_ have bruises," he scoffs.

"The bruises she saw were in the shape of a handprint." I wait for him to respond as a flurry of emotions flutter across his face.

"Tris?"

"See, right there. You're his best friend and you're doubting him."

"I have to be honest, I don't know what to think," he mumbles. I look across the cafeteria at our crowded lunch table and meet Will's gaze. After a beat, he gives me a warm smile. Zeke must notice our exchange. "Will knows something, doesn't he?"

"He knows the truth," I say. I take a deep breath before I quietly continue. "He saw the bruises. He thought the worst to begin with but after we explained, he believed us."

"Tell me. Please." I give him the CliffsNotes version. "It's no wonder he's taking this so hard. He probably hates himself."

"It's bad enough it happened but what makes it worse is the rumors." It still amazes me how much this place thrives on gossip. "I know it's eating him up inside but he keeps telling me he can handle it."

"I'm sure tonight will do him some good," he says. "It's just friends and maybe a few initiates."

"I'm actually excited," I say. "We need a night out."

"Mama?" Tessa asks, interrupting us. "Cake now?"

"Of course, sweet girl," I say as I slide her sliver over in front of her. "Here you go."

"Tanks!" she says, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Well, I better go before my chicken gets completely cold," Zeke says. "I'll see you later."

"Zeke." Before I can continue he interrupts.

"Don't worry. I won't say anything."

"Thanks," I say grateful for such a good friend. "Bye."

"Have fun shopping with your mama, Tessa!" She smiles around a bite of chocolate cake, which is already all over her face.

"Tanks, Uncle Zeke! Love you!"

"Love you, too, kiddo," he say, affectionately ruffling her hair. As I watch him walk away a sense that someone is closely watching me overwhelms me. I casually look around but see no one paying me any special attention but I can't shake the uneasy feeling. I quickly finish my pizza then eat my slice of cake. Before throwing our trash away, I clean Tessa up.

"Shall we go to the boutique?"

"Yeah!" she says as she jumps up and down excitedly.

"You've obviously had too much sugar," I say as I take her hand.

"Cawwy me," she says as she drags her feet.

"You have twice the energy I do."

"Peas, Mama!" she pleads.

"Oh, okay," I say as I lift her into my arms, "since you asked so nicely." She smiles widely as I carry her, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck. It doesn't take long to get to the boutique.

"Hi, Tris," Jennifer Chaucer says as we come through the door. "Hi, Tessa." She took over Christina's duties as supervisor when she became a fulltime party/wedding planner. Tyler and Bobby will never be best friends but he has flourished since his stepfather was made factionless and so has Jennifer. She's friendly and outgoing. She's like a totally different person.

"Hi," Tessa says as I say, "Hello."

"Is there anything I can help you with today?"

"Well, we are looking for big girl panties for Tessa," I say. "She's finally potty trained."

"That's great news!" she says. "No more diapers."

"Yeah! I 'cited!" Who knew that learning to use a toilet could excite someone so much? Maybe it's not that. Maybe it's the one-on-one time with Mommy and the shopping trip.

"Well, we have a selection of little girls' undergarments right this way." I put Tessa down and we follow Jennifer to the toddler's section. My girl oohs and aahs at every other thing she sees. I have to remind her twice that we aren't here to look for shoes. She may only be two but she's developed a deep love for shoes of all kinds: Faux steel-toe combat boots, glittery ballet slippers, fur-lined snow boots, leopard print flip flops. You name it, she wants it, and I have a hard time saying no but today we're on a mission.

"Look at these," I say as I kneel down beside her. Who knew there were so many different styles of panties for little girls? "Do you see any you like?"

"Pwetty," she says as she touches a pair of little pink boy shorts covered in white hearts.

"You like those?" She nods eagerly. "Let's get two then."

"Otay, Mama," she excitedly says. We spend the next hour picking out big girl panties in every color of the rainbow and then some. I also give in and let her pick out a new pair of shoes to match the new outfit I just couldn't pass up. I also get each of the kids a couple new pairs of PJs since they're quickly outgrowing the ones we have at home. I can just imagine Tobias' face when he gets home and sees all this. He thinks I spoil the kids, and he's probably right but I don't want them missing out on anything like I did when I was growing up. I don't ever want them to think something is missing in their lives then leave me when they turn 16. I'm not sure I could take it. Choosing Day has a whole new perspective since I became a parent.

"We better get going, Tessa," I say. "Your appointment in the salon is in just a few minutes. Thanks for all your help, Jennifer. You do a great job here."

"Thanks," she says, beaming from ear-to-ear but then her smile falters, and I know what's coming. "You helped me so much a few years ago that I have to ask, Tris. Is everything okay at home? I heard the rumors." Well, at least she has the balls to look me in the eyes and ask instead of talking about me behind my back.

"You're the first person to actually _ask_ me about the rumors."

"I'm sorry," she sheepishly says. "I shouldn't have pried. It's none of my business."

"Don't be sorry, Jennifer. Not at all," I say. "Everyone else stops talking when I enter a room and won't even look at me. It's so frustrating. I appreciate your candor."

"There's not any truth to them is there?" I can tell she's being cautious with her questions and carefully gaging my answers for the truth. I guess if anyone could spot an abused woman it would be her.

"Not at all. My husband treats me very well." I gush.

"I'll be honest with you. Four scares the _crap_ out of me. I don't see how you can be married to him." I start to object but she quickly continues, realizing she inadvertently offended me. "But I see how he looks at you, Tris. It's the same way my Robbie looked at me." She looks wistful thinking about her late first husband. "He loves you and would never hurt you. I know that. He may be scary as," she glances as Tessa, " _heck_ but he's a very good man. He wouldn't have gone out of his way to help me get the job and apartment if he wasn't."

"Thank you for that. He _is_ a good man, the best I know actually. I just wish everyone else in Dauntless could see that right now," I say. I glance at the clock near the register and frown. "I'm sorry to cut this conversation short but if we don't leave now we're going to be late to the salon."

"I'm sorry to have kept you," she says then we say our goodbyes.

"We have to hurry," I say to Tessa as I pick up the shopping bags. "You stay right beside me, okay?"

"Otay." We head out onto the busy path, and she immediately wraps her arms around my leg, stopping me in my tracks.

"You can't do that. Mommy can't walk." She pouts up at me so I kneel beside her but out of the way of the heavy out traffic. "Can you be a big girl and walk without holding onto Mommy?" Wetness is gathering behind her eyes when she finally nods. "Come here, sweet girl." She must be getting tired. I shift all the bags to one arm then manage to pick her up. She lays her head on my shoulder and sighs. I hope we make it through this afternoon without a full-fledged meltdown. I hurry to the salon, hoping we're not too late. Alicia is standing at reception when we walk in and she smiles brightly.

"Hello, Tris, Miss Tessa."

"I'm so sorry we're late," I say. "Our shopping trip lasted longer than I thought it would."

"Oh, you're not late," she says. "It's just now 1:30."

I set Tessa on her feet then lean in close to Alicia and ask, "Do you think I could modify the appointment a little?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Mommy/daughter mani/pedis," I say as I look down at my darling girl. She's looking all around the unfamiliar space with awe on her face. This won't be her first trim but Christina came to the house the first time.

"Sure, we can do that," she says. "If you go into dressing room four, there are children-sized robes. Just change into them and I'll set you up with the technician then Tessa can get her hair cut." This captures her attention and she looks up at me with wide scared eyes. She must not like the sound of the word "cut."

"It's okay," I tell her. "You've had a trim before. It didn't hurt at all. Remember?" She wrinkles her little nose then she smiles and nods. _That's my brave girl._ "Let's get ready." I take her hand and lead her into the correct dressing room. It looks like all the others but it's slightly larger. I put our purchases in the provided cupboards and get out a robe for myself and one for Tessa. I help her out of her clothes, leaving her training diaper on then put the little black silk robe on her. It's absolutely the most adorable thing I've ever seen. I'll have to take a picture. After I get Tessa situated I strip down to my matching cotton bra and boy shorts and put on my robe.

"You like me!" Tessa squeals when she sees our matching robes.

"I know. You look so grown up, little one." She takes my hand and starts yanking on it. "Are you excited?"

She nods but impatiently says, "Mama, gotta go potty." I pick her up and take her into the bathroom just in the nick of time.

"I'm so proud of you," I say when she finishes. "You did a good job telling me you needed to potty but maybe you shouldn't wait so long the next time."

"Otay," she says. I pick her up and let her wash her hands after I wash mine. For as much trouble as Tobias and I have getting her to bathe, washing her hands is like a reward after she uses a toilet. She's such a silly girl!

"I have a special surprise for you," I say. "Are you ready?" She excitedly nods, and we head into the main part of the salon where Alicia is waiting for us.

"Violet and Mandy will be doing your mani/pedis, and I'll be doing Tessa's hair," she says. "Follow me." Within minutes, Tessa and I are sitting side-by-side at the mani/pedi station getting matching neon pink painted on our fingers and toes. Of course, I let her pick the color. I just wish Violet or Mandy would have hidden the bottle before she saw it. I think Amity members could see us coming.

"Are you having fun?" Tessa beams at me and carefully nods her head. She's being such a good girl. We explained that she needs to hold really still, and she hasn't moved an inch. Moisture wets my eyes and a stray tear slowly descends my cheek thinking, no _knowing_ she's no longer a baby.

"You otay, Mama?" she asks, her look serious, concerned. She reminds me so much of Tobias right now.

"I was just thinking about when you were a baby," I say.

"I no baby," she says, frowning. "I's big giwl."

"Yes, you are," I say just as the technicians finish our toenails. _Such a beautiful big girl._

"All done?" she asks, looking at her feet.

"Alicia will do your hair as soon as we're sure our nail polish is dry then we'll be done. What do you think?" I hold my hands out so she can examine them and she does the same.

"We cute," she says.

"Yes, we are!"

"Actually, I think you're both gorgeous," Tobias says from the doorway, surprising us.

"Dadda!" Tessa squeals. "Mama and I match. See!"

"You sure do," he says as he kneels between us. First, he kisses her forehead then he gives me a slow, tender kiss.

"This is a nice surprise," I say, caressing his stubble. "So, you finished early."

"Actually, I went home right after you left my office and spent the afternoon with Tyler and Teags," he says. "We had a great time, and now they're both down for a nap so I decided to check on two of my favorite girls."

"We've had a lot of fun today shopping and having our nails done," I say. "Haven't we, Tessa?"

"Mm-hm," she says as she nods.

"Are you ready for your haircut, Miss Tessa?" Alicia asks. "Oh! Hi, Four. I didn't know you were here."

"Hi, Alicia," he says. "Yeah, I thought I would watch Tessa's haircut."

"Isn't that thoughtful," she says. She doesn't _sound_ condescending but there's a look about her. She must believe the rumors.

"Dadda, cawwy me," Tessa says, raising her arms to him. She's missed him so much this week just like the rest of us have. I'm glad he took some time to spend with Tyler and Teags this afternoon. I hope it did them all some good. He leans over and lifts her into his arms. She kisses his cheek and hugs him tightly to her. We follow behind Alicia into the same room that has the Lightning McQueen car where Tyler had his first haircut. Beside it now sits a pink convertible for girls to enjoy. At first Tessa doesn't want Tobias to put her down until she sees the little car then her eyes light up. He sits her behind the wheel and she grins from ear-to-ear. I take my phone out and snap a few pictures.

"You shouldn't believe everything you hear," I quietly say to Alicia as I pass. She looks taken a back. She obviously wasn't expecting me to say anything but I'm tired of this. "You have to sit really still while Alicia trims your hair, little one. Then we'll give you a little time to play in the car. Okay?"

"Otay!" Tobias and I stand next to each other, his arm draped over my shoulders and my arm around his waist. We watch and both take a few pictures as Tessa sits stone still as Alicia trims her hair and takes a couple inches off the length, which she really needs. It's been too many months since Christina cut her hair in our kitchen.

"She looks very grown up," Tobias says, his voice tight with sadness. "Where have our babies gone?"

"I know what you mean," I quietly say then I sigh.

"I understand why you want another one," he muses aloud. My head whips in his direction. Is he saying what I think he's saying? Is he willing to give me the baby I so desperately want? Sensing what's obviously going through my mind he says, "Love, I'm still not sure but I'm understanding more and more why you want one. We'll talk more about it later, I promise."

"Thank you," I say.

"It's not a yes," he says.

"Mm-hm." I glance up at him out of the corner of my eyes and smile brightly.

"I really need to work on telling you no," he mutters.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to push," I say, recognizing that he's close to his limit and this week has been bad enough for him already. I don't need to be causing him stress, too. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too," he says right up against my ear.

"Look at her," I say bringing our attention back to our girl. "She's growing up so fast."

"I know. It seems just like yesterday she learned to smile now look at that grin." She's sitting in the pink car with a joyous smile spread ear to ear. "I don't think I've ever seen her look so happy."

"You should have seen her in the boutique," I chuckle. "I couldn't keep her away from the shoes."

"She has more shoes than you do," he mutters. "I hope you didn't buy her more."

"Just one," I say.

"Tris!"

"I know but they go really cute with the outfit I got her." I expect more commentary but he just rolls his eyes, shakes his head, and kisses the top of my head.

"And I think I can't tell _you_ no," he chuckles. "Our kids are going to be spoiled."

"Not spoiled, baby, just well loved," I say.

"Mama, Dadda, look!" Tessa squeal, gaining our full attention once again. Alicia is done with her trim and our girl is happy as a clam.

"You look beautiful, Pebbles," Tobias says and he's not stretching the truth one millimeter.

"And so grown up," I add. She's turning her head from side-to-side, admiring herself in the mirror on the wall in front of her.

"Alicia, your next client is here." Tobias and I turn toward the door and look at the messenger. My blood begins to boil seeing the familiar-looking tall blonde technician who I have only seen one other time.

Noticing my reaction Tobias asks, "What's wrong?"

"That's her," I mutter. "She's the one who started the rumors."

"Thanks, Luna," Alicia says. "I'm almost finished here. Tell Barb I'll be right with her."

"No," I say. They look at me like I've suddenly grown a second head. "Four and I need to talk to Luna. Thank you for everything today, Alicia. We'll pay on our way out." Confusion fills her face as she looks from me to Tobias and then to Luna before she returns her puzzled gaze to me.

"What's going on?" she asks.

"We have some business to discuss," I say. "Isn't that right, Luna?" She can't bring herself to meet my eyes, and I can feel fear radiating off her in waves.

"Tris." I ignore Tobias' cautious plead.

"Luna here is the one who started a very destructive rumor going around Dauntless, and she needs to explain herself," I mutter, trying to rein in my anger. Her eyes fly to mine, and now she only looks utterly confused.

"It wasn't me," she says. "I swear. I didn't say anything."

"If it wasn't you then who was it?" I spit. Tobias crosses his arms over his chest and intimidatingly stares down at the terrified salon technician. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alicia guiltily trying to slink out of the room. I think I misread her look earlier. "Not so fast Alicia. What do you know about all this?"

"I'm so sorry, Tris," she says, red faced. "It was me."


	19. Chapter 19

"Why, Alicia?" I spit, glaring at the woman who usually reminds me so much of my own mother with her shiny brown hair and warm green eyes. Today, however, her eyes have a distinct sadness to them. I guess I thought when I confronted the person who turned our lives upside down I would be met with malice or defiance not embarrassment and what's starting to look like near despondency.

"I'm so sorry, Tris," she says once again but it only angers me more. "I swear I didn't mean to start the rumors."

"You shouldn't apologize to me," I say after a lengthy, tense silence. "You should apologize to him." I point at Tobias. "He's going through hell right now with the suspicious stares and hushed whispers. He doesn't deserve this."

"I'm sorry, Four," she says, unable to bring herself to meet his gaze.

"Luna, I need you to take Alicia's next appointment," Tobias says, not one ounce of emotion in his voice. "Apologize for her absence and let the client know that she'll be tied up for the foreseeable future. Offer her a free service if she's not receptive to the idea."

"Yes, Four," the skittish technician chokes before slithering out of the room, thankfully closing the door behind her, giving us the privacy we need.

"Tell us what happened, Alicia," he says, his Four mask walling off his emotions.

"I-I saw a b-bruise on Tris' a-arm as she was g-giving me instructions on what to do with all the r-roses you had delivered the n-night she was h-here with Christina, Ana, and Avery," she says, stumbling along until she finally calms some. "I didn't think anything about it until she turned to go into the dressing room and that's when I recognized the bruise as a handprint. I thought about asking you about it, Tris, but I figured it wasn't any of my business. It's not like I believed he intentionally hurt you. I never did." Huh?

"Go on," Tobias says when she stalls.

"I went to a friend's place after work that night. We shared a bottle of wine while we watched a movie about an abused woman who faked her death to get away from her cruel husband. The alcohol loosened my lips – I know I shouldn't drink but that blackberry wine is just divine. Anyway, the fact that I saw bruises on your arm just slipped out. I'll admit, at the time, I thought I was just having an innocent conversation with a trusted, old friend but looking back she seemed entirely too … _interested_."

"What do you mean?" Tobias asks at the same time I ask, "What's your friend's name?"

"Jessica grilled me about the bruises and what I thought of you two, professionally _and_ personally for hours. I was too drunk to realize it wasn't just an innocent conversation until the next morning. I started to hear whispers about Four and abuse and as the day progressed, they got worse and worse. I wanted to say something. I _should_ have said something, but I was too embarrassed. I didn't mean for this to happen, and I never mentioned what I saw to anyone but Jess. I don't know how it got around Dauntless so fast. And I don't know why she would want it to."

"There's one thing I've come to know in the five years I've lived here, our faction thrives on gossip," Tobias mutters as he runs a hand through his hair.

"Who is this Jessica person, and why would she do this to us?" I ask looking toward Tobias, although I'm just thinking out loud.

"I think I may know," he says before Alicia can speak, surprising me.

"What? How? Who?" I'm thoroughly confused at the moment.

"It wouldn't happen to be Jessica Samuels would it?" he asks, addressing Alicia. _Jessica Samuels? Jessica Samuels?_ Why does that name sound so familiar? It suddenly dawns on me.

"Shauna, Lynn, and Hector's mother?" I ask, my voice several octaves higher, betraying my anxiety.

"Yes," she says, pink spreading across her cheeks.

"Why would she do this?" I muse aloud.

"We'll figure that out another time," Tobias says then turns his full attention back to Alicia. He stares at her, shaking his head. "I have to say I'm disappointed in how you handled this situation, Alicia. Why not come to me or Tris when the rumors started and tell us what you knew? And just now when Tris confronted Luna you were going to let her take the blame. I'm beginning to think you aren't the type of person we want in Dauntless." Her eyes go wide. I'm not sure which is worse the threat of expulsion from the faction or Four being disappointed. For me it would be the latter. He's not often disillusioned.

"Oh, God! Please don't make me factionless, Four. I would never survive out there," she cries. "I know I made a terrible mistake but I'll do anything. Please give me a second chance."

"You know, I don't relish the thought of making you factionless," he says.

"Then please don't," she says just above a whisper. He stares her down like he's trying to make his decision.

"What can you tell us about Jessica Samuels?" I ask. She looks at me with equal measures of uncertainty and gratitude, although that emotion may be too early. If he makes up his mind and makes her factionless, he more than likely won't change it back. I know my husband. "Why would she question you about us? Did she give you an indication of what she wanted?"

"Jess and I both joined Dauntless the same year. We didn't hit it off right away. She's always been very competitive and ambitious, and she let absolutely nothing get in the way of securing a top spot in initiation." She must have achieved her goal. She's a faction ambassador, a prestigious, much sought-after job, now assigned to Erudite. "After initiation was over, we were basically thrown together. Our husbands, well they were our boyfriends at the time, were lifelong friends. They passed away within weeks of each other years ago." I can't help but wonder what happened. Shauna and Lynn never speak of their father. "After a while, I counted her as one of my best friends. We drifted apart while our children were growing but when they got older, we rekindled our friendship. I'll be honest, she doesn't always agree with how you run Dauntless and is very vocal about it. She thinks the faction is getting soft."

" _Soft_ ," Tobias mutters, disgustedly shaking his head. "Recklessness will _not_ be tolerated in my faction."

"I totally agree with you, Four," she says. "Things got very scary around here under Max's tutelage or should I say _Erudite's_. But her way of thinking is more in line with past generations. She firmly believes in faction before blood. Maybe she would think differently if she had a child defect like I did. She's lucky all three of her kids chose to remain here in Dauntless. I would give anything to see my Suzanne on a regular basis. I'm just thankful that the council voted to allow mingling between the factions."

"Has she tried to organize members against us?" Tobias asks.

"Not that I know of, but if she were, she wouldn't include me."

"Why not?" I ask.

"We've had several disagreements on the subject in the past couple years," she says. "To avoid a full-fledged fight, we agreed not to talk about it anymore."

"I still don't understand," I mutter. I take a deep breath and glance at Tessa who has fallen asleep, her head bobbing up and down. I cross the room and pick her up. She wakes with a startled cry but she quickly goes back to sleep.

"I'll take her," Tobias quietly says as I saddle up next to him.

"I've got her for now," I whisper. "I don't want to wake her up again."

"Alicia, I want you to notify Tris or myself immediately if you can think of anything else. There won't be consequences for your actions this time but I won't stand for that kind of behavior again."

"Oh, thank you, Four," she softly says.

"Everyone makes mistakes," he says, his eyes on me. He flashes me a sorrowful smile then looks at Alicia again. "One more thing before we leave, I would rather you not mention our conversation to Jessica."

"Okay, Four," she says. "And you don't have to worry about me gossiping again. I've learned my lesson."

"Good," I say. "I wish the rest of the compound could learn the same lesson."

We leave the salon after I pay our tab, Alicia still profusely apologizing. I hand Tessa over to Tobias, and we make our way up to the Pire in silence. It's not strained but it isn't comfortable either. My mind replays our conversation with Alicia, and I can't help but wonder what Jessica Samuels' game is or if she has one. She obviously doesn't like Tobias and me but maybe that's just the extent of it. But a niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach tells me there's more to this story. When we get home, Tobias carries Tessa up to her crib to continue her nap and we let Bridget go for the day.

"I thought you'd come back downstairs with either Tyler or Teagan with you."

"They're both still sound asleep," he says as he sits down beside me on the couch. He drapes his arm over my shoulders and pulls me close. "We played hard this afternoon."

"Should we confront Jessica?"

"No," he says. Irritation rises within me, so I count to 10. I don't want to fight with him.

"You still can't think that ignoring this problem will make it go away, can you?"

"Don't you see, love, _nothing_ is going to make it go away," he says. I can easily hear the pain in his voice. "How do I prove to a faction full of doubters that I don't abuse you? There _is_ no way. I can call a mandatory, emergency meeting in the auditorium and get up on stage in front of the entire faction and tell them that the rumors are false but they've already made up their minds so why bother. We just need to let this run its own course."

"You mean we're just supposed to sit back and let this Godforsaken gossip ruin our marriage?" I try to get up but he tightens his grip on me, keeping me in place.

"There's nothing wrong with our marriage," he tightly says. I turn and look at him, and the asshole has his Four mask on.

"Why can't I walk away for a few hours to escape when something upsets me?" I softly ask. "When things get tough for you, the man I love disappears altogether like you did this past week burying yourself in work or like you are right now burying your emotions behind that _damn_ Four mask." Frustrated tears well up in my eyes. "I may have fallen in love with him but I sure as hell don't like him all the time." I struggle against him trying to get to my feet. "Let. Me. _Go_." He finally releases me, and I spring to my feet and whirl around to face him. I do my best to keep my voice steady and low but strong emotion seeps through anyway. "That's a double standard, Tobias Eaton. If you don't change, one of these days _you_ are going to ruin what we have. We can't continue going on like this. It hurts my heart too much. I know it hurts you too. And this isn't me threatening you, this is me telling you that if you keep pushing me and our kids away, you're going to push us right out the door.

"Now, I need you to pull the car up to the Pire so I can take the kids to my parents. I no longer want your company. What I do want is for you to take some time and think about what I said. I've missed you so damn much this week. I'll meet you at the train at about 9:45 for dare … _if_ you still want to come."

"Can we talk about this?" He's still masking his emotions, which causes the tears to finally overflow and streak down my face.

"Not right now," I say. "We're both upset, and I don't want anything said that we can't take back." He gets up and heads toward the door. "I love you," I choke out.

"I love you, too," he mutters without looking back. He pauses for a moment in our entryway then shakes his hanging head and walks out the door. I wither into a pile of raw emotion in front of the wall of windows. I don't know how long I sit here sobbing into my hands, trying to block the pain of the past week, wondering if I really made the right decision to give us some space when I finally gain control of my emotions. I don't move though. I'm exhausted. I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my head on my knees and try to clear my mind. When a small hand touches my head, I jump. _Shit!_ I don't want him seeing me this way. I rub my eyes before lifting my head to look at my son hoping that it doesn't look like I've been crying. When he throws his arms around my neck and squeezes me until I practically can't breathe I know my eyes have betrayed me.

"What's wrong, Mommy?" he asks. He's caught me crying too many times lately and that kills me.

"It's been a rough week, buddy," I say. He frowns at my explanation.

"Where's Daddy?" he asks as he looks around the silent apartment.

"He went to get the car then he has some things to take care of," I say. "Are you excited to see Grandma and Grandpa tonight? We'll leave as soon as Tessa and Teags are up from their naps."

"Isn't Daddy going with us?" he asks, ignoring my questions. "He promised." _Well crap._

"No, he's not. I asked him to do some things for me. I'm sorry. That's my fault. I didn't know he promised."

"Well he did," he mutters. "I hate him." _Whoa!_

"Tyler Aaron Eaton, you don't talk that way."

"But he made…"

"No buts," I cut him off. "You don't ever talk that way about your father. You have to respect him." He hangs his head, and even though I can't see his face, I know he's pouting. "If he heard you saying you hated him it would hurt his feelings, and you don't want to do that. I know without a doubt that you love him very much."

"I miss him," he says, tears running down his face.

"I'm so sorry." I hold him as he cries. I take my phone out of my pocket and send a quick message to Tobias. _I need you home. Now._ I shouldn't have sent him away. That wasn't fair. He obviously isn't far because within minutes he comes barreling through the door.

"Tris!" He sounds panicked. Tyler let's go of me and runs straight into his arms, surprising him.

"You came back! You came back! I knew you wouldn't break your promise."

"Of course, I came back. I didn't forget my promise, buddy," he says, his voice rough. I avoid eye contact for the moment. I don't want to see pain on his face, pain put there by me.

"I'm going to check on the girls," I quietly say as I get up off the floor. When I enter the nursery, Teagan is just waking up.

"Hello, my sweet girl," I say as I lift her into my arms. "Did you have a nice nap?" She rubs her eyes as she nods. I check her training diaper, which is dry then put her on the potty. "You need to stop growing."

"I big," she says with a big grin. _God, how I wish you weren't._

"You're getting big just like Tessa and Tyler." When she finishes, I tell her that her daddy is downstairs, and she sprints off in his direction. "Walk!"

"Mama! I gotta potty," Tessa calls out. Two for two after naps. That's great. After she finishes in the bathroom, I take her into what will be her and Teags' room.

"Do you think you're getting big enough to sleep in here?" I ask. "You would have your own bathroom so you wouldn't have to tell Mommy or Daddy you have to go potty." Her eyes widen and her face lights up. "I take that as a yes!"

"Yes!"

"Mommy will get to working on that as soon as possible," I say. "Ready to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house."

"Yep! Whewe Daddy?"

"He's downstairs with your brother and sister," I say. "Let's go." She struggles out of my arms when we enter the dining room and I nearly drop her. She sprints into the living room and climbs up on Tobias' lap. He looks up and gives me a small smile. "Grandma and Grandpa are holding off on supper until you guys get there so we'd better go." It amazes me but they all like an occasional Abnegation meal, and they love my mom's cooking. Tobias lifts each of the girls into his arms and Tyler walks next to him never taking his eyes off him like he's afraid he'll disappear.

After we get the kids in the car, which is parked on the curb outside the Pire just like I asked, I say, "I'm sorry, Tobias. I shouldn't have sent you away."

"I'm sorry, too, but let's talk about that later," he says.

We drive to my parent's in silence. Well Tobias and I are quiet. Tessa and Teagan won't stop arguing and Tyler is aggravating Tessa by, God forbid, touching her.

"All right! That's enough out of you three," Tobias firmly says, finally losing his patience. "I don't want to hear another sound from any of you until we get to your grandparents. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Daddy," Tyler quietly says as Tessa and Teags, wide eyed, both nod. I move my hand to cover his that's resting on his thigh. I momentarily hesitate, wondering if he would welcome my touch, and he reaches up and laces our fingers together then drags our joined hands to his lips and softly kisses each knuckle. I relax into my seat. We enjoy the silence for the remainder of the drive, which is just over five minutes but I'm sure it seems like five hours to the kids. After we park the car, the kids start getting antsy again. I hope they settle down before they go inside. We unbuckle our seatbelts and turn towards our monsters.

"Who remembers the rules?" I ask. Three hands go up. "Tyler."

"No running in the house."

"Very good," Tobias says. "Tessa."

"No fightin'."

"That's another one," I say. "Teags."

"Quiet."

"Yes, be quiet and respectful with Grandma and Grandpa and each other," I say. "You aren't in Dauntless anymore."

"There's one more," Tyler says. "No rough … rough house?"

"No roughhousing," Tobias says.

"Yeah, that's it!" he exclaims.

"All right, I think it's time to go inside," I say. While I'm getting the kids out of the car, Tobias gets the overnight bags out of the trunk. Before we reach the door, Mom steps outside in a lightweight flowing gray dress. Her brown hair is in a single braid down her back and her shining green eyes are smiling.

"Andrew, Beatrice, Four, and the kids are here," she calls over her shoulder to my father. She looks so happy. It warms my heart. Marriage counselling saved their marriage and for that I could not be more grateful. Dad still struggles but he leans on her instead of taking his aggression out on her. The last few times we've seen them, they have the glow of newlyweds. And that is something I don't want to think too closely about.

"Grandma!" the kids squeal as they reach my mom. She kneels down and wraps her arms around all three then kisses their heads.

"Oh, I've missed you so much," she says. "Let me look at you. I think you have all grown. Teagan Grace is that you? You're not a baby anymore."

"Not bebe," she says, shaking her head.

"I gots big girl pants," Tessa says, wanting her fair share of attention.

"That's right," I say. "Just today Tessa has graduated to big girl panties. No more diapers."

"We're very proud of you, Tessa," my dad says as he steps up behind Mom. "What about you Tyler. You must be what 12, 13 by now?" Tyler giggles loudly.

"I'm 4, Grandpa," he finally says.

"I could have sworn you were older than that."

"No!"

"Come in," Mom says. "Supper is almost ready." The minute we walk into the house, familiar scents assault my senses but they seem out of place.

"Do I smell…" I start to say but Mom interrupts.

"I made some cookies for dessert," she says and my mouth drops open.

"You might want to close your mouth, love," Tobias deeply chuckles.

"I can't figure her out," I quietly say to him. "Caleb and I never got cookies once growing up."

"Me neither," he says.

"I think our kids broke her."

"You know, I can hear you," Mom says and I flush pink.

"Sorry, Mom," I say as Tobias says, "We meant no disrespect, Natalie."

"I like being a Grandma." She shrugs. "I get to spoil them. Beatrice, can I get your help in the kitchen for a moment?"

"Sure, Mom," I say, following her.

"Is everything okay at home?" she asks. I furrow my brows at her. "You and Four look … uncomfortable with each other." I take a deep breath and slowly blow it out. I didn't know our troubles would be evident. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No offense, Mom, but not really," I softly say.

"I won't pry but know I'm here for you, my sweet girl," she says as she cradles my face between her loving hands. "Always." I think I said almost the same thing to her when she and Dad were having problems

"I know you are, and that means so much to me," I say. "Thank you. What do you need help with?" This time it's her turn for her cheeks to flush.

"I just used that as an excuse to talk to you," she says. "But if you would like to help set the table I would appreciate it."

"Of course."

"Would you and Four like to stay for supper?" she asks as I finish with the menial task.

"Actually, I think we're going to grab a quick bite at the Pier," I say. We really need to talk and soon.

"Okay," she says.

"I can't believe you made cookies," I say.

"You just don't remember me making cookies," she says. "Take one for you and Four. They're your Grandmother Wright's recipe. I made a double batch this morning. I only kept a dozen. The rest were handed out in the soup kitchen." I take a couple of what looks like oatmeal raisin cookies then wrap my arms around my mother.

"I love you," I say.

"I love you, too, Beatrice."

"Thank you for being so good to my kids," I say.

"I love them with all my heart," she says.

"They love you, too," I say. "They've been talking about this visit for days."

"I'm glad they're excited," she says. "Your father and I have been excited, too."

"We need to go," Tobias says as he appears in the doorway.

"Okay," I say. "Let me say goodbye and then we can go."

"All right," he says. "I'll wait in the car. It was nice seeing you, Natalie. Thanks for watching the kids for us. I'll see you tomorrow night."

"It's always nice seeing you, son," she says as she walks up to him. She grabs him into a hug that startles him. I see her whisper something in his ear then she gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Have fun tonight with your friends."

"Thanks, Natalie."

"Dare I ask what that was about?"

"He looked like he needed a hug," she says as she pulls dinner rolls out of the oven. "So, I gave him one."

"He has the best mother-in-law," I say. She embraces me tightly but says no more. "I better go. I love you."

"I love you, too, Beatrice. Remember, if you need to talk about anything I'm here." I leave Mom behind to say goodbye to Dad and find him surrounded by the kids who are sitting on the floor eagerly listening to him tell them a story. I kiss each one of their heads but they don't pay any attention to me and wave goodbye to Dad. I meet Tobias in the car and am met by awkward silence.

"Can I ask you something?" he asks after a while.

"You know you can," I say.

"What made you change your mind?" he hesitantly asks.

"Tyler. He was very upset when I told him you wouldn't be accompanying us to Abnegation. Had I known you promised, I never…" My words trails off when we pull into a dilapidated-looking parking structure near the factionless sector. He pulls into a parking place, turns off the engine, unbuckles his seatbelt then turns to me.

"Is it safe here?" I ask but he doesn't answer me.

Instead he says, "Now we're going to talk."


	20. Chapter 20

"We can talk but first I want to make sure we're not going to make our kids orphans by parking here. Are we safe?" I look out my window at the ancient, decrepit structure with worried eyes wondering if my next breath will be my last.

"Perfectly safe," he says. "I wouldn't knowingly put you in any danger." He stretches his arm out, resting his elbow on the top of the bucket seat and repeatedly runs a strand of my hair through his fingers. I don't know if it's his words, his actions, or a combination of the two but something relaxes me, and I melt into my seat, my eyes on him.

"I owe you an apology," I softly say just as he opens his mouth to speak. "I shouldn't have kicked you out earlier. I know I did it for the right reason but it wasn't fair to you. I'm just so frustrated with this entire situation. It's making me crazy." Or crazier than usual.

"Thank you for that," he says, a tender look on his handsome face but then his expression turns sour, "but I think it's me who owes you the apology." He blows a breath out with a frustrated huff and stares out the windshield. "We're quite the pair. You want to run and I want to hide."

"You're right," I say with a sigh. He just described us perfectly in one short sentence. "What do we do about that? I know how it makes you feel when I walk away from an argument or a situation I can't control but I keep doing it. It may not be right, it may make things worse, it may not be what you want but, baby, it's my way of coping with stressful situations that I don't know how to handle, and I don't think I can change it. It helps me to put a little space between us so I can get my head screwed back on straight."

"The same goes for me," he says. "When I can't handle something, I shutdown emotionally to protect myself then I isolate myself so I'm not constantly reminded of whatever it is I don't … won't … or can't face. You told me I need to change or I could lose you, lose us … but … I'm not sure I can." His final words are barely above a whisper.

"I was wrong to say that. You should never have to change who you are to please me, and I shouldn't have to change to please you either."

"Are we at an impasse? Are we going to keep having this fight until we actually do destroy _us_? Is there a compromise?"

"I suggest we stop trying to change each other and accept everything: the good, the bad, and the ugly," I softly say. "If I need to put some space between us so I don't say something that irrevocably changes what we have, you need to let me go and trust that I'm not abandoning you." His fingers still in my hair. He has such deep-seated abandonment issues that this will be hard for him to agree to but we can't keep going this way or we're going to do ourselves what others have tried – break us up.

"Okay," he finally says after minutes of tense silence, "but only if you promise to say that you need space … and that you'll be back."

"Do you honestly think I would ever leave you, Tobias?" Something flashes in his eyes as he quickly turns his head to look out the windshield again, and pain shoots straight through my heart like a sniper's round. I reach up and softly cradle his chin, turning his head until our eyes meet.

"I know your past gives you reasons to doubt, baby, but I will _never_ abandon you," I say, my voice strong and steady but thick with heavy emotion. "We may argue, we may piss each other off royally, there might be days we feel like everything is hopeless and we can't do it anymore, but there will never _ever_ come a day that we won't love each other so desperately that we wouldn't go to the ends of the earth for one another. Please hear this, my love, I. Will. _Never_. Leave. You. I will always come home … to _you_. There's no place I'd rather be." He leans in and takes my mouth with a fiery passion I've missed this week. Our lips war, our tongues tangle violently, our teeth gnash against each other. When he releases me, my heart races like a jackrabbit, and my chest heaves like a bellows.

"Wow," I mumble. I raise trembling fingers to my swollen lips and gently touch them as I gaze into my lover's eyes. If we're not careful our clothes will be off and he'll be inside me. As nice as that sounds, we still have things to work out before we give into this now burning passion. "I've missed you this week."

"I'm sorry I haven't been home more," he says, his chest still rapidly rising and falling. Whether it's from breathlessness or desire, I don't know.

"I will respect your wishes and tell you I need some space before walking away in an argument but I need something from you in return." He steadies his gaze on me and starts playing with my hair again. It's like a talisman for him. "You can mask your emotions and hide how you're feeling from the kids, our extended family, our friends, our faction, our city but please, _please_ stop hiding from me. When I'm expecting Tobias and get Four's cold, unfeeling stare instead not only does it piss me off, it hurts … deeply." He closes his eyes and takes a sharp breath. "If you're happy, I want to see it. I also want to see your grief, sorrow, anger, confusion, hatred, pain, arousal. I want it all. Baby, I don't want Four. I want _you_." We stare at each other for a moment, the silence building to an uncomfortable level. I finally decide to continue. "Do I have the right to ask that of you?"

"Of course, you do," he says. "And I promise to try with all my might to do as you ask. If I don't quite always manage it, have patience with me and don't get angry. Just pull me aside and remind me of this moment, of my promise. You know I don't ever want to hurt you, Tris. By the way, you were right to send me away earlier. The situation was spiraling out of control, and we both would have made matters a lot worse. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"I'm glad we worked that out but there's still the matter of dispelling the rumors."

"I'm just not sure we can," he softly says.

"Do you think it would hurt to try?" I ask.

"I don't know," he sighs. "I honestly thought everything would have died down by now."

"Someone is fanning the flames, keeping the gossip alive. If it's Shauna and Lynn's mother, I want to know why. If it's not her, I want to find out who it is. They're messing with my life, _our_ life. They've driven a wedge between us, however unintentionally … or maybe it was intentionally, and I don't take too kindly to that." A face flashes behind my eyes and I frown.

"What is it?" he asks.

"Nothing really," I say feeling incredibly silly for even thinking it but his censorious look changes my mind. "The bitch toyed with us. She would love to come between us, Tobias." His brows raise in surprise at my fleeting thought. "Don't say it. I know it sounds a little crazy but … what if?"

"You may be onto something," he says. "I'm not saying it has anything to do with her but this does almost feel like a calculated attack on me. Hhm. I never thought of it that way. I might have an enemy in Dauntless."

" _We_ might have an enemy," I say. "What do we do about it?"

"I wish I knew," he says. His fingers graze my ear as he plays with my hair sending a jolt of desire to my core and a small gasp escapes my lips. "I've missed you this week. I wish I would have handled things differently. I hurt you. I hurt the kids. All I wanted was to escape how I was feeling.

"Why did you stay away for so long," I quietly ask, hearing the longing in my voice. "I could have helped. We could have escaped together." I know my cheeks must be the color of cherries. "I know sex doesn't solve anything but…"

"But it would have been nice to spend some nice quality time together." I nod my head. "I guess in punishing myself over this entire mess, I was punishing you, too. I should have been home with you instead of hiding in my office. Can I confess something?" I nod and motion for him to continue. "My office is the only place I've felt … hell, I don't even know how it made me feel … safe, not hated, like _me_."

"You're still beating yourself up over the bruise, aren't you?"

"I thought I accepted what I did. I think I'm wrong."

"I've done everything I know to make you believe that you didn't hurt me, that you would never hurt me. I don't know what else to do." I reach out to caress his cheek and my stomach grumbles loudly.

"I'll figure it out, I promise but right now you're hungry," he states. The moment he says that I realize just how ravenous I am. I look at the clock and am surprised by the time. Dare starts in an hour. "Let's grab a bite at the Pier, and we can eat as we take the car home. We should have enough time to get to the train with the others." We put our seatbelts back on, and he maneuvers us out of the ancient concrete death trap and back onto the road.

"Or we could get supper at the Pier, blow off our friends, and have sex on the Ferris wheel a couple times," I say as I run my fingers through his hair. It's been five very long, frustrating, miserable days since we last made love and I want it. No, I _need_ it. I need him.

"Any other night I'd take you up on your offer. It's been a while since we used your wedding gift." He leers at me lustfully and gives me a sexy wink. _Good! He wants me, too!_ "Don't think I don't want to pull this car over, push you into the backseat, and have my way with you all night long, Mrs. Eaton, because I absolutely do but it's been so long since a game of dare. I don't want you to miss it and to tell you the truth neither do I."

"I'm glad you're excited about the game," I say. He glances at me, his expression skeptical like he doesn't quite believe what I'm saying. I remove my hand from his hair and boldly put it on his burgeoning erection. "I'm glad to see you're excited for me too but we have all the time in the world for that later. I'm not going anywhere. Then we can take our time with each other." I playfully squeeze him through his jeans and he moans then I take my hand away.

Within minutes we're picking out slices of hot, gooey five cheese thin-crust pizza and bottles of ice-cold cola at one of the booths in the farmer's market at the Pier then heading back to our car. We eat in comfortable silence all the way back to Dauntless. I'm still hungry after my second slice so he graciously offers to share his final piece with me.

"I don't know why I'm so hungry," I say as I rip off the end of the now cool slice then hand it back to him. "I had three slices of pizza and cake at lunch with Tessa." I groan. "I'm gonna have to run five miles tomorrow to keep this from going straight to my hips."

"Love, I can think of a much better way to work off those calories tonight, and I'm not talking about jumping on and off trains," he says with a husky laugh.

"You're so bad," I say, playfully slapping his knee, "but you have a deal." We laugh and it feels so good.

"I love you. I'm sorry I've been a jackass this week. You deserve better."

"There's no one better than you, Tobias Eaton," I say. "Please don't sell yourself short. Things have been tough this week, and we've both been trying to handle it the best way we know how. But now that we've set some … _ground_ _rules_ so to speak for each other we can move forward. And I love you, too." I reach out and rest my hand on his thigh. "So, I take it you're looking forward to tonight."

"Which part?" He waggles his brows suggestively making me giggle. This is my man; this is _my_ Tobias.

"Well, I was actually talking about dare," I say, chuckling softly. "Is it really that different than the Dauntless part of Candor or Dauntless?"

"Not really," he says as we pull into the garage. "The rules are quite simple actually. The person holding the flask explains the rules and starts the game. They choose their target and give them a dare, which they cannot refuse. The flask is passed and so forth. It's basically an excuse for friends to get together, have some fun, and get drunk. If a person doesn't want to witness some crazy shit, they don't play dare."

"I don't want to get drunk," I say, my voice slightly tremulous. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't either."

"You don't have to drink at all if you don't want to, love; although, I'm sure our friends may try to push you into it since they've never seen you do it before. And I won't get drunk. I promise.

"Thanks," I say as we head out of the garage and to the Pire hand in hand. "Have you thought of any dares? I'm having trouble coming up with any."

"That's the hardest part for a newbie. At least it was for me. Go-to ones are scaling structures, scavenger hunts, daredevil crap. Once in a while someone comes up with something extremely creative."

"I get the scaling and daredevil crap but what do you mean by scavenger hunt?"

"Hhm. Go into Erudite headquarters and get a microscope."

"Stealing?" I squeak. "We could get into real trouble for something like that."

"Most everyone overlooks our hijinks but that was the best example I could come up with. Usually the dare involves an abandoned place and not a building full of people from another faction."

"Okay. I think I get it," I say. "Oh! I have an idea, and I know who I want to give it to. He'll do anything."

"Must be Zeke!" he laughs.

"You know it but if someone else choses him I know Uriah hates to be outshined by his big bro. He doesn't want to be thought of as a pansycake even though he's the only one who uses that term."

"Hey, guys," Christina says as she and Will come out of his office. "I'm glad you're coming tonight. I'm so excited. I think I have a kickass dare for someone. At least I hope it's kickass."

"I'm sure it's the best dare ever," Will says as he pulls her close and dips her low for a passionate kiss. Tobias and I embarrassingly laugh at the very unusual public display of affection in front of us. He clears his throat and Will finally pulls Christina upright but doesn't stop kissing her. I pull Tobias out the door and am disappointed by the dry heat that smacks me in the face. I could use something to cool me off after witnessing that heated display.

"Suddenly I would very much like to strip you bare and be inside into you all night long," Tobias says against my ear causing me to go weak in the knees. He grabs ahold of me to steady my trembling legs. I moan as he sucks my lobe between his hot lips then gasp as he bites down. He lovingly runs his tongue over the sting and moisture floods my core.

"Baby, you need to stop or take me home," I murmur. "It's not nice to tease."

"Ew!" Zeke mutters with obvious fake indignation, basically extinguishing the flame of desire. "First Will and Christina are dry humping in the hallway and now this. My poor eyes."

"My eyes, my ass," Tobias mutters, a mischievous smile playing around his lips. "I'm beginning to think you like watching." Zeke huffs a chortle.

"Maybe you two just want to make another sex tape," he says.

"Zeke!" Tobias and I cry out at the same time.

"That's what you get for trying to outsmart the master," he laughs.

"Apologize to them immediately Ezekiel Raymond Pedrad," Shauna sternly says.

"It's all right, Shauna," Tobias says. "I should have known better than to antagonize him."

"I don't want this night to go like that one game of Candor or Dauntless where he was dissecting your sex life."

"How could he do that?" I innocently ask. "It's not like he's going to dare us to have sex in front of everyone." I realize my mistake immediately and turn tomato red. Of course, he'd give us a dare like that. He's fearless that way.

"I tell you this right now, Zeke," Tobias says in his most scary Four voice, all hint of humor gone, "if you value our friendship _and_ your life, I'd get that dare out of your mind."

"You're right that would be inappropriate," he says, subdued but then his expression becomes roguish. "Besides I've already seen you do that. No need to see it again."

"Zeke!"

"What are you guys talking about?" Will asks as he and Christina catch up to us.

"Nothing!" I say. My best friend eyes me suspiciously then grins.

"I think I know," she says.

"Are they talking about the fear landscape room?" Will asks. I stop in my tracks and whirl on Christina."

"You told him?" I ask, mortified. "If I'm not mistaken I asked you to keep that to yourself."

"Ah, Tris, I'm sorry," she whines. "I tell him everything. Just like I'm sure you tell Four everything or Shauna tells Zeke everything."

"Actually, I like to maintain some mystery," Shauna says, "so I don't tell him shit." We all laugh and I secretly thank God for making Shauna for Zeke. They balance each other perfectly.

We reach the train platform a few minutes later, everyone chattering away about their busy days. I'm happy to just be quiet and listen. It's been a while since we enjoyed each other's company. Avery, Callen, Afton, and Declan are already there sitting on the pebbled ground, dangerously close to a passing train.

"Hey guys," Avery says. "Bad news, Mom and Dad aren't coming tonight. They're going dancing or something with Nathan and Abigail." Ever since reconnecting during the list debacle, Zander and Nathan have revived their friendship that fizzled out because of Dru. They go out to dinner a lot then either dancing or to a movie. I'm glad they found each other again. When you see them together it's like watching a couple teenagers. "Personally, I think they're too old for dare but apparently I wasn't supposed to tell them that."

"You actually told your parents they were old?" Zeke asks. "Damn girl! You got balls." I shake my head, an embarrassed smile turning up my lips as everyone else laughs.

"I wasn't trying to be mean," she mutters.

"She just wants to have a good time without Mommy and Daddy hanging around all the time," Afton says. I feel like that's my fault. I know it's hard for her hanging out with her parents and boyfriend's dad and stepmom socially. I would be very uncomfortable if my mom and dad were friends with one of my best friends. Avery and I have talked about it since we've become so close but she doesn't resent my friendship with Zander and Stella. She welcomes it.

"Kirsten, Trevor, Ella, and Stefan aren't coming," Shauna says. "Grayson's been sick this week and apparently gave it to Ella and Kirsten."

"James and Ciara aren't coming either," Tobias says. "It's their anniversary."

"And let's not forget, she can't jump on and off trains," I say still excited for them. A strange look passes Tobias' face and I figure I'm letting my baby mania show.

"Who are we still waiting for?" I ask.

"Uri, Marlene, Lynn, Bailey, Brody, Ana, Kevin, and Murphy," Zeke says.

"I think Brody and Ana are bringing some transfers who aren't fitting in so well," Christina says.

"That's a good idea," I say.

"I suggested it to them," Tobias says. "Playing dare helped me fit in."

"Still think you should have gotten your ass tattooed," Zeke says with a laugh. "You can tell us why you got the flames on one of the most painful spots on your body. You didn't want everyone thinking you were a pansycake, did you?"

"Who's being a pansycake?" Uriah asks as he walks up to us hand-in-hand with Marlene followed closely by Lynn and Bailey. Leave it to him to walk up at the precise moment.

"No one," Tobias says.

"I was just trying to get Four to explain why he didn't get his ass tattooed the first time we played dare."

"I'm not answering that question," he says.

"Why not?" Uriah asks. Tobias furrows his brows and silence shrouds us for a few minutes.

"Because I have no answer," he says. "Getting a tat on my ass has never once crossed my mind in all these years until this minute."

"You gonna get a tat on your ass for me?" I playfully ask as I draw his mouth to mine for a quick kiss.

"If you wanted me to," he murmurs against my lips.

"You two are disgusting," Brody says with feign revulsion. "You know that, right?"

"You're just jealous," I say as I notice the newest arrivals. Hector, Rose, Oliver, and a lanky girl with light chocolate skin, dark blue eyes, and a short curly black bob lag behind Brody, Ana, Murphy, and Kevin.

"Is she the Amity transfer?" I whisper to Tobias and he nods. I can see why she would be struggling. I'm sure it's not easy to be raised to value peace and love more than all else and jump into the war zone that is Dauntless.

"Maude, Mauve, Maeve … something like that," he says.

"Everyone," Ana says, "I'd like to introduce everyone to Hector, Oliver, Maeve, and…"

"Rose!" Christina squeals with genuine surprise when she sees her baby sister. "I didn't know you were coming tonight."

"Surprise," she dryly says.

"You don't sound very happy to see me," she says causing Rose to sigh.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I'm tired. The fights are exhausting me. I didn't really want to come but _someone_ wouldn't take no for an answer."

"You need to socialize more," Brody says. "I know firsthand how hard it can be. If it weren't for Ana and Four and Tris I more than likely would be factionless. It's hard to survive in Dauntless with no friends."

"See what I mean." She rolls her eyes. "He's relentless. I tried to tell him I was fine but he wouldn't shut up."

"Someone's Candor is showing," I mumble under my breath.

"Rose," Tobias says, his booming voice grabbing her attention. "I'm going to give you some valuable advice my mentor, Amar, gave me when I was an initiate. Joining a faction is about more than getting through initiation. It's about making life-long friends," he looks towards Zeke and Shauna, "and even a few enemies." I'm sure Eric's face crosses his mind. "It's about trying to find that one special person you're meant to be with." He looks at me with strong love in his eyes. "How many here met your significant other during initiation?" The majority of hands fly up. "I isolated myself when I first joined Dauntless for personal reasons. I struggled to make it through each day. I was exhausted and lonely, although I never let it show. But Amar saw through the facade. He invited me to play a game. Did it change my life? Not immediately but I became friends with Zeke that night." They affectionately bump closed fists. "I got my first tattoo. I started to embrace the Dauntless lifestyle."

"And you're telling me this why?" she asks.

"Do you like it here?" I ask.

"Does it matter if I like it or not? I'm here," she says.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Christina asks as she grabs her sister by the arm and drags her a few steps away. "I'd like an explanation and I'd like it now. You don't talk to your instructors the way you talked to Brody and you sure as hell don't talk to the leaders of the faction the way you just spoke to Four and Tris. They can make you factionless for continuous insubordination. Is that what you want?"

"Do you even care, Christina?" _Whoa!_ I wasn't expecting her to give Christina attitude also. "I've seen you just once outside the training room or cafeteria since I joined. I'd like my sister back."

"I am a busy woman, Rose. I have a husband, a son, close friends, and of course initiates to take care off. I'm stretched pretty thin right now."

"I probably sound selfish," she pouts. "But I've missed you since you left Candor. Why do you think I'm here?"

"Rosie," Rose's nostrils flare at the nickname just like Christina's does anytime someone other than Will calls her Christy, " _please_ tell me you didn't join Dauntless just because you missed me. That's not how Choosing Day is supposed to work."

"It's not the only reason I left Candor, _believe_ _me_ , but I'm not going to lie, it's a big reason," she says. "I wanted my sister back. I really miss you." Christina wraps her sister in an embrace and murmurs something in her ear. "I'm sorry, Christina."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," she says. Rose turns around and seeks out Tobias' eyes.

"I'm sorry, Four," she says. "I'll take your advice to heart and try harder to fit in. Tris, honestly, I'm not sure I like it here or not but I haven't really given it much of a chance."

"You can change that starting tonight," I say. "Embrace your inner Dauntless and have fun."

"Thanks, Tris," she says

"And remember, tonight you're not an initiate; you're just my little sister," Christina says. "And, yes, my friend." I hear someone's watch alarm sound just as the next train comes into view.

"All right everyone, get ready," Zeke calls out.


	21. Chapter 21

Within minutes we're all on the train, bright eyed and slightly breathless, the atmosphere in the gently rocking car electric. It's been such a rough week for me and Tobias that we really need not only the distraction but the fun. He is keeping me close, his hands resting low on my hips. As a matter of fact, with the exception of running to catch the train, he's had one or both of his hands on me in some fashion since we were at that ancient parking structure working on our differences. I guess he's craving intimacy right now just as much as I am. I lean up and brush my lips against his neck and he looks down at me.

"You read for this?" he asks.

"I am," I say.

"Remember, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do," he says and I know he's referring to the drinking. We've enjoyed wine a couple times with dinner but I've never drank anything stronger, and I'm a bit nervous and a little intrigued. I've always wondered what it tastes like.

"I'm going to take a drink just like everyone else," I say. "It's no big deal."

"That's the spirit," he says.

"How long will this take?" I ask, looking around the crowded car.

"It really depends on where the dares take us. I've played with less people than this and it went all night long but then again I've played with more and it only lasted a few hours." He lowers his voice and says, "Why? You in a hurry to get somewhere else?" I coquettishly smile up at him as I wrap my hand around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. I immediately thrust my tongue between his moist, parted lips and make love to his mouth. I soon pull away, not letting the kiss deepen and see his eyes dilated with desire. "This is going to be a long night." _Yes, it is._

"Hey! I'm only going to say this once so listen up," Zeke calls out, gaining the attention of the entire car. "The game is dare. The first person picks someone and gives them a dare. You can't refuse and you can't trade, you _have_ to do that dare."

"So if you're a pansycake you can leave right now," Uriah says.

"Hey, idiot!" Zeke roughly pops his brother on the back of the head. "Did I say you could speak? I begged Mom and Dad for a guinea pig but _no_ they had to give me you instead." He disgustedly shakes his head while glaring at his brother who pouts as he rubs the back of his head while the rest of us snicker. "I don't need any help. Sorry for the interruption. Where was I? Oh, yeah. The person who is going to do the dare takes a drink from the sacred dare flask then does the dare." He holds up a large silver flask that's seen better days and wiggles it back and forth. Tobias clears his throat and Zeke says, "Right, drinking is no longer mandatory, and recklessness will not be tolerated or this night will end a hell of a lot earlier than anyone wants it to. Once the dare is done that person picks their target and so one. The night is done when everyone has done a dare – or died trying."

"Has someone actually died playing this game?" Al's doppelganger asks, his pitch that of a squeaky teenage girl. Laughter erupts in the car but I notice it's only coming from the experienced players and those born in Dauntless.

"No one has ever lost their life during a game of dare but believe me, with some of the dares I've witnessed, people have tried to kill themselves or others," Shauna says. "With that in mind, let's have fun tonight and let's get everyone home in one piece."

"Bruises, scrapes, and broken bones are highly acceptable though," Uriah says as he chuckles maniacally, and I can't help but roll my eyes. He must already be drunk or well on his way.

"All right, let's get this show on the road," Zeke says. The excitement already running through the car like an undercurrent explodes and everyone cheers. "Since I'm the keeper of the flask now, I'll go first." His eyes scan the crowd, and they momentarily land on Tobias with a mischievous glow, which doesn't surprise me but then he looks away, which does. I thought his mission in life was to torment my husband. "Ana."

"This is a surprise," she says. _Yes, it is._

"I dare you to walk into Erudite headquarters and flash the people in the lobby." Everyone laughs as her eyes go wide. She blushes more deeply than I've ever seen as he tosses her the flask, which she easily catches.

"Bottoms up," she says with a shrug then she takes a big swig. She grimaces slightly then holds the flask up and lets out a loud whoop. "A little help, babe." Brody, who is just as good at hiding his feelings as my husband stands behind her looking apathetic but I imagine he doesn't like her dare because he's glaring at Zeke, probably plotting revenge. She stands with her back to him and within a minute she's pulling her bra out the armhole of her t-shirt. "I guess I don't need this." She swings it over her head then tosses it out the open door into the darkness, and the place goes wild.

"This is going to be one hell of a night if the first dare involves nudity," Uriah says. Several smaller flasks are being passed around as the party atmosphere continues. Tobias circles his arms around me and kisses my neck as I watch our friends.

"Our stop is just up ahead," Zeke says and I'm surprised that we're close to Erudite already. It seems like we just got on the train. "Get ready." One by one we all leap out into nothingness. Some of my friends tuck and roll while others land on their feet. I'm amongst the latter group. I take Tobias' hand, and we hurry after the excited group in front of us. The tracks are close to their headquarters so our walk is a short one. We gather in front of the mammoth building, gaining some odd looks from the occasional members coming and going. Even though it's after 10 p.m., there are still a lot of people mulling around.

"Okay, here goes nothing," Ana says, a wild look in her eyes. She grabs Brody and roughly kisses him then disappears through the big glass doors.

We inch our way closer so we can witness her exhibitionism. The doors are airtight and very thick, not allowing any sound to penetrate but it's obvious that Ana says something because all heads turn to look at here then she lifts her shirt. A woman standing beside a young adolescent boy covers his eyes but he manages to get away from her grip, a huge smile on his face. While the Erudite members are frozen and speechless, she puts her shirt down, turns around, and comes racing back to us giggling her head off, embarrassed. We all take off running, laughing and celebrating the first successful dare of the night as a handful of rather large Erudite guards burst out after her. I push my legs harder than I have in months and luckily there's a train arriving just as we get to the tracks. The guards give up their chase when they see us boarding.

"Holy shit!" Murphy says. "That was intense. How do you feel, Ana?"

"I feel good!" she says, her cheeks bright pink and her eyes sparkling. "Not that I want to do that again." She starts looking around the car then tosses the flask to Avery. "I dare you to get your nose pierced."

We spend the next hour-and-a-half in the tattoo parlor at Dauntless fulfilling various dares. Avery gets a small stud in her nose, complaining about it the entire time until Callen tells her how sexy he thinks it is. She then dares Afton to get a tattoo, which she does. She gets a small simple heart on the inside of her left wrist with Declan's name in it. She then dares Will to get a tattoo. He looks like he wants to run away but finally settles on the date Liam was born on his right biceps in large bold Roman numerals. By the time Tori's finishes, he looks like he's going to pass out and Christina is trying really hard not to laugh.

"Kevin," Will says once the anxiety passes as he tosses him the flask. "I dare you to climb that big red sculpture in the heart of Erudite. You know the one that's surrounded by the three big dark buildings."

"I know which one you're talking about," he says. He opens the flask and takes a long swig. We hurry to the train and once we reach the Erudite section, we jump off and jog the rest of the way to the sculpture. When we come out from between two buildings we all slow, taking in the sight of the massive structure rising up from the patched concrete, several spotlights shining on it from the ground. I'm sure it looked a little different before the war but it's still an intimidating piece of metal that must stretch at least five stories into the sky if not more. Time has caused some corrosion and rust but it's still standing tall after all this time.

"It's bigger than I remembered," Kevin nervously says as he stares nearly straight up.

"You be careful," Murphy says. "We have big plans remember?"

"How could I forget? Here hold this for me," he says as he turns to look at her. He hands her the flask as he says, "I don't have any pockets." He gives her a lingering kiss then steps away from her. He walks around the sculpture, studying it closely.

"What are you waiting for, pansycake?" Uriah asks. "Are you going to climb it or cry like the little girl you are?" Kevin's eyes turn to steel as he looks at his heckler.

"I'd shut up if I were you, Uri," Tobias says with a near silent chuckle. "He's big enough to drag your ass up there with him and leave you hanging." Everyone laughs at the scary look Kevin gives Uriah, and I swear I see him pale at least two shades.

"Just get going," Uriah grumbles. "We don't have all night."

"He hates having the tables turned on him, doesn't he?" I whisper to Tobias.

"Yeah," he mumbles. Kevin starts on the far end of the sculpture and utilizes rivets, divots, and holes worn in the metal by years of weathering. He's fast as first his hands find their holds and then his feet. Before we know it, he's at the top.

He stands on a rather flat, wide part, raises his hands above his head and screams out, "I'm king of the world!"

"I heard that once in that big boat movie," Marlene says.

"Stop showing off and get your ass back down here," Murphy yells but he doesn't seem to hear her or he's choosing to ignore her, which would be strange. Those two are madly in love. He celebrates for another moment then turns to start coming back down. We all gasp when he's about halfway down and he loses his footing. He slips until he's precariously dangling from the sculpture with just one hand.

"Oh, my God!" I say. We all race to the area below him. If he falls from this height it won't be deadly but there most definitely will be severe injuries.

"Hang on!" Murphy cries. "What should we do?"

"I know!" Shauna says. "We'll catch him like when we're zip lining. He's not that much higher."

"Hold on, Kevin," Murphy hollers. We all stand below his dangling body and weave our arms together, forming a net of limbs for him to fall into.

"Listen carefully," Tobias says. "As you let go, kick your legs out in front of you so you fall into our arms back first instead of feet first." I see him frantically nodding but he says nothing. He's obviously scared but he's trying not to show it. _Typical Dauntless._ "On the count of three. One – two – three!" Kevin swings his body back and forth kicking his legs out in front of him like instructed then let's go of the metal sculpture and without making a sound falls into our arms like a lead weight. When we get him to his feet Murphy launches herself into is arms and adheres her mouth to his. Someone mutters get a room so lowly that I can't make out who it is making a hushed chuckle move through the crowd.

"Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again," Murphy says as she releases her boyfriend then she hits him in the shoulder.

"Ow!" he says, rubbing his arm with a grimace on his face. "What was that for?"

"I thought I was going to lose you before I even get the chance to marry you." _Marry?_ I look up at Tobias and he shrugs.

"You're getting married?" Ana asks.

"We have some news for you guys. We were going to tell you at the end of the night," Kevin says. "I asked Murphy to marry me last night and she said…

"Hell yes!" she excitedly hollers as she holds up her left hand, which is housing an oval cut diamond in a vintage-looking platinum or perhaps silver setting. Cheers, hugs, and congratulations erupt around us. I don't know how we missed that rock on her finger all night.

"Congratulations," I say as I tightly hug Murphy and then Kevin. "I love your ring. It's beautiful." Tobias kisses her cheek then shakes his hand.

"Thanks, Tris," Murphy says. "I always thought I just wanted a tattoo instead of an engagement ring but the moment I laid eyes on this beauty, I changed my mind."

After the celebration and congratulations are over Zeke says, "We better get going. Kevin?" Murphy hands him the flask, and he looks around.

"Christina, I dare you to go into Abnegation's headquarters and dance to the next song on my phone," he says. This should be classic. She has zero rhythm and can't dance a step unless Will is leading her. I hope she doesn't hurt herself or anyone who happens to breach her orbit. She nearly broke Ciara's ankle at last year's Welcome Ball. We run from the sculpture to the train and ride as close to Abnegation as we can. After reaching our destination, she guzzles almost half the flask then completes her dance, if you can call it that – she looks more like a spastic chicken hopped up on cocaine in the middle of a seizure than a human being. Surprisingly the Abnegation members just stare at her confusedly before she dares Marlene to lick the sidewalk for 15 seconds who in turn dares Shauna to give her clothes away to the factionless. When she's left only in her bra, underwear, and running shoes, she dares Callen to switch clothes with Avery. Now he's standing here in a tank top with a red bleeding heart on the front and a black and red pinstriped skirt. I can't stop laughing.

"That really looks good with your boots, babe," Avery says as she ties a knot in the front of the large black Dauntless t-shirt she's now wearing. If the sweatpants Callen had had on didn't have drawstrings they would be on the ground right now. "I have to get a pair. They're perfect for that outfit."

"I'm glad I could help," he dead pans.

"I love you," she says.

"I love you, too." He scans the crowd after giving her a tender kiss then says, "Uriah, I dare you to go to the farmer's market and kiss other faction members without saying a word to them until one of them _doesn't_ slap you." As he passes the flask to him, I examine Marlene. I know how I would feel if Tobias got that dare but if she's upset, she's not showing it. As a matter of fact she looks like she's trying really hard not to laugh.

"You got it," Uriah says as he takes a long draw from the flask. "I'm not a pansycake." We run back to the train for the short trip to the Navy Pier.

"Love, are you okay?" Tobias asks when I sway a bit as the train dips on the track indicating it's almost time to jump off again.

"I'm fine," I murmur.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his lips pressed against my ear. "You look a little pale."

"All this train hopping is making me dizzy," I finally reveal. He takes my hand and pulls me to the back of the car while our friends start jumping off. "What are you doing, baby? We're going the wrong way." I get my answer when he swings me up and cradles me in his arms.

"I'll jump for both of us," he says, his look concerned. "You look like you're not feeling well. Maybe you should grab a bite to eat when we get to the Farmer's Market or something to drink at least. I don't want you getting hurt."

"I love you, Tobias," I say. I run my fingers through his hair as I nuzzle his neck.

"I love you, too, Tris," he says. He gives me a quick kiss that sets my heart to fluttering in my chest. I don't want it to end but he pulls away any way. I tighten my arms around his neck as he firms up his grip on me then he runs toward the black hole in the side of the car and hurtles us out into the night. He easily lands on his feet and within a few paces he sets me down.

"Thanks," I say. We hurry to reach our friends who are already in the Farmer's Market building. A slap echoes around the huge space as we walk through the door and Tobias laughs.

"Looks like Uri's not having much luck," he says.

"There you two are," Christina says, her eyes laughing. "You're missing it. I think Uriah's been slapped six times already."

"Damn," I mutter.

"Let's get you a little something," Tobias says as he drapes his arm over my shoulders and steers me to the soft pretzel cart.

"Can't you wait until after dare to 'give her a little something'?" Zeke humorously murmurs. I roll my eyes and shake my head.

I lean in so only he can hear me and say, "Believe me, Zeke, there's nothing _little_ about my husband." I pat his cheek and mentally fist pump the air at his shocked expression. I'm sure he was expecting me to shrink back but not tonight, although I don't know why. Usually I'd be blushing like a schoolgirl. Tobias pays for my pretzel and small cola then turns back to me.

"Don't antagonize him, love," he says although there is a proud glint in his eyes. "We don't want him irritating us all night."

"I'm not irritating," he whines.

"You're the most irritating man I know," Shauna giggles, "but I love you anyway." She kisses his cheek. "Now leave Four and Tris alone."

A loud crack booms, breaking the near silence gaining our attention, and we look over just in time for a young Amity woman to scurry away, her cheeks bright red. Uriah moans while grasping the side of his face as he looks around for his next victim. He shrugs then walks up to an Abnegation woman who happens to be holding a baby in her arms. He makes a face at the sweet chubby-faced girl, making her laugh then lightly kisses her mommy on the cheek. I really expect her to haul off and hit him but she just glares at him as she maneuvers away from him, protectively holding on to her daughter like she thinks the maniac in front of her will snatch her away at any moment. He throws his arms up in victory, both cheeks inflamed not from embarrassment but from being slapped multiple times and marches to where we're all standing.

"Thanks for that, Callen. I didn't think it was ever going to end," he says as he pulls Marlene into his arms. He looks around and when his eyes land on me, his lips turn up into a mischievous grin. "Tris, my friend. I dare you to go to The Congress and get us a souvenir."

" _The_ _Congress?_ " I ask. Why does that sound so familiar and _why_ is everyone looking at me with wide, confused, and slightly frightened eyes? "What's that?"

"You don't know about The Congress Hotel?" Avery breathlessly asks.

"It sounds familiar but I can't quite place it," I say.

"It's supposedly haunted," Ana says. _Haunted!_ "You haven't heard the stories?" I shake my head then look up at Tobias, and he shrugs, obviously not in on the rumors either.

"A haunted hotel?" I nervously giggle. "You guys are kidding, right? You're just trying to scare me."

"No," Christina sincerely says, draping her arm over my shoulder and leading me out into the cooling night air. Instead of heading back toward the train, we start walking south. I guess it must not be far. "I remember hearing stories about that place for as long as I can remember. Cold spots, apparitions, disembodied voices, shadows – the works." I feel my eyes fractionally widen further with each one of her excited words. I think she would gladly take this dare.

"I heard the city started to refurbish it about 20 years back. They were looking for an affordable alternative to building a new apartment building in Erudite but the workers ran out of there after one week and refused to go back inside because of all the crazy things that kept happening," Will says. "I've even heard that one of the men had a heart attack and died in the hotel because he was so scared."

"You couldn't pay me to go into that place," Avery says as a shudder moves through her body raising gooseflesh on her arms.

"How have you not heard of The Congress?" Brody asks. "Some of the older kids would drag Faith and me there to explore for hours on end when we were growing up. Apparently they heard piano music playing once but there was no piano around. It's creepy as hell but Faith and I never heard or saw anything strange while we were inside."

"She was a Stiff," Lynn says, although not unkindly. "She didn't know what Halloween was when she came to Dauntless." I feel my cheeks heat. _I didn't know about a lot of things when I jumped into my new life._ "How could you expect her to know about a haunted hotel near the Erudite sector?" A soft growl emanates from Tobias' chest but I shake my head at him. She's not being rude or condescending; she's just speaking the truth … or at least I hope that's all she's doing.

"Makes sense I guess," Brody mumbles. Abruptly we stop in front of what looks like two towering buildings connected by a smaller one in the center.

"Is this it?" I notice a weathered S – S – H – O on top of the northern most tower. I guess it stands to reason that at one time it said Congress Hotel.

"Don't forget this," Uriah says as he holds up the flask.

"You don't have to drink if you don't want to," _Four_ says for everyone to hear.

"It's okay baby. I'll take a drink," I say. "It's part of the fun, right?" Everyone cheers as Uriah holds out the flask to me. I take it with a trembling hand then breathe deeply, trying to steady my nerves. I unscrew the silver lid, put the flask to my lips, tip it back, and take a small swallow. The bitter liquid burns all the way down my throat, making me spit, sputter, and cough. I grimace and shake my head trying to forget the fowl tasting drink as I get my breath. "Ugh! What is that stuff? It's pretty nasty." Tobias hands me a bottle of water, which I quickly drain.

"That's whiskey made in Amity. It's a lot smoother than their other spirits."

"Smooth? Yeah right!" I mutter. I stare up at the foreboding building looming before me. "So what souvenir do you want me to bring back?" I need to do this before my shot of liquid courage wears off.

"How about a lighting fixture? I'll let you decide what kind – sconce, chandelier, lamp, whatever," Uriah says. "Old buildings like this are a treasure trove for items like that."

"Here, you're going to need this," Christina says handing me a small flashlight.

"Pansycake!" Uriah calls out.

"It's better to be safe than sorry, Uri," Marlene says. "Who knows what kind of shape that building is in? We don't want Tris getting hurt."

"All right," he mumbles. "We'll stay right here and wait for you." I once again stare up at the building in front of me, my heart thundering in my chest.

"Are you feeling up for this?" Tobias asks. "You were pale and dizzy not that long ago."

"The food helped," I say. "I'll be fine." He draws me into his arms and hugs me tightly.

"Be brave," he whispers in my ear, his hot breath tickling the sensitive skin. He releases me and I press a quick kiss to his lips then make my way into the old hotel. A dirty, musty odor overwhelms me once I clear the front doors, immediately making me nauseous. I pull my shirt up to cover my mouth and nose as I gag. Hopefully, this will keep me from throwing up my snack. I switch on the flashlight, silently thanking my best friend for her forethought. If anyone else has one, they sure didn't offer it up.

"Okay. I can do this," I mutter to myself. I sweep the light over available surfaces within my reach looking for any kind of light fixture I can find, trying to keep track of where I've been. About five minutes later I enter this opulent open space that must have been used as a ballroom for parties, weddings, or meetings at one time. There's a second story balcony with what looks like wall sconces that I should be able to reach but I don't see any stairs. Ugh! "This is harder than I thought it would be." I release my hold on my shirt and it falls back into place and an unpleasant moldy scent hits me making me gag again. It takes a full minute for me to gain control. Apparently the draperies have drawn moisture over the years, making them mold and decay. I don't dare try to climb them.

Noticing the wall in front of me is lined with doors, I figure one of them must hide a staircase. I carefully open them one by one until the last one reveals what I'm looking for. _Yeah!_ I hesitantly put my foot on the first step and test that it will hold my weight just like I did with the rungs that night on the Ferris wheel. After bouncing slightly, it seems like I'm good to go. I gently place my foot down on each tread and pray I'll safely make it to the next level. I finally breathe a sigh of relief when I reach the second story landing. I find an open doorway that leads onto the balcony and quickly locate a sconce dangling from ancient wiring. I reach up on my tiptoes but it's just out of my reach. I look around for something to stand on but don't see anything, so I take a few steps back, run, and jump at it. My fingertips hit it making it sway and I know I can get it. It's just going to take a few more tries, so I step back and repeat my jump.

"Damn it!" I mutter then I stop in my tracks when I hear a strange noise. I scan the area around me and below but I don't see anyone. Then I hear the noise again, much clearer this time. Laughter. "Hello? Who's there?" I'm going to kill whoever is trying to scare me because unfortunately they are. "Show yourself." I stand still, holding my breath, trying to decipher where the sounds are coming from, and all I hear is an imposing silence and nothing else. I release my breath and make another jump for the antique sconce. This time the wiring breaks, and the large light fixture falls into my hands. Laughter from what sounds like young children resonates again and I can't help myself. I take off running. I fly down the stairs without a care to my personal safety. After running for what seems like hours, I have to make myself slow down so I can remember how to get out of this Godforsaken place. After a few more minutes, I burst through the exterior doors and make my way back to my friends.

"Who followed me in there?" I forcefully ask as I toss the sconce to Uriah. "Because it wasn't funny."

"Calm down, love. We've all been standing here wondering when you were going to come out," Tobias says. "You've been gone over half-an-hour. I wanted to come in after you but they wouldn't let me." I study his eyes and know he's telling me the truth.

"If it wasn't any of you then someone from another faction was in there," I say. "It sounded like children laughing. Maybe it's like you said, Brody. There must be factionless children in there goofing off."

"Or it's was ghosts trying making contact," Uriah says.

"Uri!" several of my friends say at the same time.

"It wasn't a ghost," I say, rolling my eyes. "There's no such thing, you big pansycake." I thought the name would irritate him but instead a wide grin splits his face.

"You were scared! Awesome!"

"You are truly an oddball, Uriah Pedrad," I murmur. "Zeke!" I toss him the flask, which he easily catches. "I dare you to perform a little show in Candor's headquarters."

"What kind of show?" he asks.

"Hhm. You're fearless so how about naked acrobatics." My friends burst out laughing, and I swear Zeke is delighted by the dare I chose.

"You just want to see me naked," he says as he waggles his brows.

"Who hasn't seen you naked?" Tobias asks.

"Four has a point," Shauna says. "I think the new transfers are the only ones here who haven't seen you in your birthday suit." That is the truth. Most people give him what they think is the worst of the worst dares trying to get him to balk but he always plays. It's crazy or should I say, he's crazy. After we catch the train to Candor, I feel someone staring at me and turn to find Maeve's wide green eyes on me.

"Is there something I can help you with, initiate?" I ask.

"You really transferred from Abnegation?" she shyly asks. I nod once and her blank look turns to one of wonder. "It's been so hard for me coming from Amity. I can't imagine what it must have been like coming from Abnegation. How did you do it?"

"It wasn't always easy but I persevered," I say. "My friends, both transfer and Dauntless-born, helped me a lot. And if course I met Four."

"I don't really have any friends," she softly says as she casts her eyes downward.

"That's what tonight's for," I say. "Mingle. Get to know people, especially Rose, Oliver, and Hector. They are in the same boat as you."

" _I_ have friends," Hector sasses.

"All your friends are still dependents. You haven't spoken to them in weeks," Shauna says. "And _stop_ being rude."

"Have you even tried getting to know the transfers?" Lynn asks. He just defiantly crosses his arms over his chest and looks away from his sisters. Shauna and Lynn both shake their heads and the irritated scowl on their faces really makes them look alike.

"I don't have any friends either," Oliver says, breaking the awkward silence that has fallen over the group. "Maybe we can be friends … if you want."

"I haven't been trying to make friends since I got here either," Rose says. "Maybe we could all hang out."

"That would be nice," Maeve says.

"What do you say, Hector?" I ask. "Why don't you get to know Rose, Maeve, and Oliver?"

"Whatever," Hector murmurs under his breath. I really wish I knew what his problem was.

"Show Tris and your fellow initiates some respect, Hector," Tobias says. "You know there will be consequences if you don't."

"Why would anyone listen to you, Four?" Hector sneers. "Beat your wife lately?" Shocked, surprised, and horrified gasps travel throughout the train car. _Oh, he did not._


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Bolded section taken directly from Allegiant.**

* * *

" _Hector!_ " Shauna and Lynn heavily admonish at the same time Zeke asks, "What the hell is wrong with you, man?" Tobias lunges forward and grabs Hector by the collar of his Dauntless t-shirt and lifts him off his feet. Zeke, Uriah, Will, and Brody are at my husband's side in an instant trying to make sure he doesn't hurt the insignificant initiate. A murderous look contorts his features. His jaw tenses, his eyes narrow into steely slits, and his ears go bright red as he stares down the punk but, unbelievably, Hector doesn't even flinch ... not once. It's almost like he has a death wish.

"You gonna hit me, Four?" Hector sneers, a smug smirk on his lips. Tobias' look turns even darker, and I can tell he wants to but that he's holding himself back. I know my husband. He doesn't want to resort to violence if he doesn't have to.

"Four, let him go. I have no idea what his problem is. He's obviously being a huge asshole. We all know that you would never hurt Tris, not intentionally," Zeke calmly says in a soothing voice. "I know you probably want to throw his ass off the train and right now I can't say that I really blame you but I think it would upset Shauna and Lynn if you kill their brother. Come on, bro, let him go." A sound unlike anything I've ever heard before rips from Tobias' chest as he throws Hector to the floor. It's like a cross between a high-pitched keening and a feral growl. For a moment I think he's going to beat the shit out of him but instead of striking out, he turns around and launches himself off the train without a thought to his safety. We could be stories in the air. _God, I hope not._

"Son of a bitch," I mutter under my breath. I would love nothing more than to beat the shit out of Hector myself for his unnecessary and totally false comment but I'm more concerned about my husband's wellbeing than the unimportant initiate before me so I decide to follow Tobias but before I go I take a deep, cleansing breath and loudly say, "I really didn't think I would have to say this tonight in this company but my husband has never beaten me, not once. And you." I step forward and furiously slap Hector, knocking the irritating smirk right off his face and leaving behind my red handprint. "You will be dealt with later, I promise you that. _Will, Shauna!_ Make sure this _initiate_ gets back to Dauntless immediately. He shouldn't be rewarded for his bad behavior by finishing the game."

I turn my back on everyone in the car, take a step back, and propel myself out the open door into darkness. I glide through the cool air, the momentary feeling of weightless flight simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying just like every time I jump from a moving train. I land on my feet and don't waste the momentum, running in the direction I hope Tobias went, towards Dauntless. Luckily, it doesn't take me long to find him.

"Tobias!" I call out and, thankfully, he stops and turns around. He sees me barreling straight for him and steels himself, apparently reading my mind. I launch myself at him and it's like running into a brick wall. I wrap my arms firmly around his neck and my legs tightly around his waist, pressing my body against his. He's too stunned to react at first and makes no move to hold me. I cling to him while I pant vigorously from the exertion.

"You didn't have to follow me," he gruffly says.

"Of course, I did. I'm your wife. I care about you. What Hector did was out of line. I don't blame you for leaving but I'm not letting you hide from me. Never again. You promised," I plead, reminding him of our conversation that took place a mere handful of hours ago. "Talk to me, Tobias. Or scream. Yell. Curse. Punch something. Just don't hide from me." After far too long of just staring into each other's eyes, he finally wraps his strong arms around me and buries his face in my hair and does the last thing I thought he would do, he starts to cry. After a moment his legs give out, and we crumple to the cracked concrete beneath us. Listening to his anguish nearly rips my beating heart right out of my chest and tears flood my own eyes. I tighten my grip on him and do the only thing I know to do, I hold him close to me. It's not like I've never seen him cry but the times have been few and far between. I repeatedly press my lips to his temple, jaw, cheek, and hair and whisper words of love as I embrace him. Slowly his sobs quiet and a troubled sigh escapes his lips.

"I'm sorry," he roughly says.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. He was totally out of line," I say. "You showed more restraint than I did."

"I wanted to kill him, Tris. Peter and my father are the only two people who have made me see red like Hector just did," he mutters. "I felt myself losing control, and I knew if I didn't remove myself from the situation that I was going to make things so much worse." He suddenly frowns at me, his look perplexed. "What do you mean I showed more restraint than you did?"

"I slapped him," I say, my body trembling as the anger I felt resurfaces. "Before I jumped off the train I told everyone what they should already know, the rumors are false then I smacked the infuriating smirk right off that little asshole's face and told him we would deal with him later. He looked stunned. I would have laughed if I wasn't so worried about you."

"I should have known you would take care of me," he says.

I cup his cheeks with my palms and stare deeply into his troubled dark indigo eyes and say, "Always."

Slowly his hands roam up my back until he tangles his fingers in my hair then he moves his mouth to mine. His kiss is intense, passionate, all-consuming almost bordering on brutal. I grasp his back tightly as his tongue thrusts between my parted lips and forcefully mates with mine. I feel his pulsating shaft lengthen and harden beneath me as we meld our bodies together, and I know I need to stop this before things get totally out of control and we're making love right here in the middle of the sidewalk. It may be after midnight and the surrounding buildings dark but there's a full moon shining down on us like a spotlight. Anyone looking out their window can see us, and I for one don't want a repeat of the fear landscape room.

"Baby, we can't do this here," I breathlessly murmur when he moves his lips to my neck and kisses his way up to my ear. I feel warmth spread between my thighs and my will weaken as he gives special attention to the extra sensitive erogenous zone. "Someone could see us." He stops then looks around, and his face falls slightly.

"You're right. We're too exposed here but I can't wait until we get home. I need you, Tris," he roughly murmurs, his wet lips pressed against my ear. "Now." The heat of his breath is making it hard to think straight. I force my eyes open to examine our surroundings. I don't know where we are at first but when I see the giant bean-shaped sculpture not far away, I know we're practically straight across from Erudite's headquarters. I turn my head, looking for someplace private, and I see what could be the perfect spot. I check for cameras and, thankfully, don't see any.

"I know where we can go," I say as I extricate myself from his embrace and stand up. I help him to his feet and say, "Follow me." I lead him across what I imagine was once a beautiful expanse of lush, green grass until we reach the end of the brown, water-deprived lawn. **The metal structure is larger and stranger up close than it was from far away. It's really a stage, and arcing above it are massive metal plates that curl in different directions, like an exploded aluminum can.** We walk past row after row of faded, cracked, dilapidated, and sometimes missing red chairs up to the empty area in front of the thick concrete stage. I expect there to be dirt and debris everywhere but Erudite keeps things immaculate, inside and out. "No one should be able to see us here." I push him up against the concrete and pull his mouth to mine, kissing him aggressively. I thrust my tongue between his lips and explore every millimeter of his mouth as I grind my body against his. My fingers go to the hem of his black t-shirt, and he wraps his fingers around my wrists, stopping me.

"Wait a minute," he pants. My befuddled eyes meet his heated gaze. "If you don't want to do this out here we can go home. I shouldn't have said I couldn't wait. I'm so sorry, love. This has been one bitch of a week and it has me doing things I'd never normally do. I don't ever want to force you to do something you're not comfortable with."

"Baby, you're not forcing me," I quietly say, my throat thick with desire. "I want you so much right now I can barely think straight and this is perfect." He furrows his brows in confusion. "We're in Erudite, Tobias." A spark of recognition lights his heated gaze. "This is the only faction we haven't made love in. We get to mark another spot off our lists."

"I love you, Beatrice Grace."

"I love you more," I say with heartfelt intensity.

"That's impossible," he drawls as a sexy as hell smile brightens his face. He let's go of my wrists, and I immediately lift his shirt up and over his head and drop it to the ground beside us. He impatiently removes mine and tosses it on top of his then kisses me deeply while our hands roam each other's bodies. When we're both out of breath I unbutton and unzip his jeans and push them over his hips and down his legs until he steps out of them then I sweep them out of the way. I run my hand over the thick bulge in his boxer briefs, and he pushes a gravelly gasp through his clenched teeth.

"Always so hard for me," I murmur, mesmerized by the power of the hot, throbbing shaft beneath my palm. I lean forward and wrap my lips around his nipple, teasingly circling the stiff bud with the tip of my tongue before sucking it into my mouth and nibbling on it playfully. He lets out a deep, unrestrained growl. I know we should be quiet but the possibility of getting caught only adds to my excitement. I torment his pebbled peak as I reach into his boxer briefs and stroke his hard length with a practiced grip.

"Tris," he moans. My name on his lips in that raspy, aroused tone heats my blood to boiling. I play with his other nipple as I continue to leisurely stroke him. When I can't wait to taste him one second longer, I drop to my knees and slowly pull his boxer briefs down, freeing his rigid masculinity. I wrap my fingers around the base of his hot shaft and slowly pump my fist up and down then dart my tongue out of my mouth and slowly drag it up his length, never taking my eyes off his. I tease the sensitive underside of his tip then move my tongue up and torment his slit. I glide my moist lips up and down his length dropping sporadic kisses before engulfing him. " _Oh, God!_ "

"Mm," I hum causing him to groan as I unhurriedly work him in and out of my mouth while my hand simultaneously strokes and my tongue caresses his fullness. When he grasps the back of my head, I move faster and deeper, sucking hard just the way he likes it until he's continuously trying to breach my throat. _Maybe one day I can take him._ I feel his entire body shudder with pleasure, and I know he's getting close.

"No, love," he roughly mutters, dragging me to my feet. "I don't want to come in your mouth. I want to be inside you." He lifts me off my feet and sets me on the edge of the stage causing me to squeal. I wasn't expecting it. He pulls me in and possessively captures my lips with his while he unbuttons my jean shorts. I lift myself so he can pull off my shorts and panties. I reach behind me and unhook my bra and let it slide down my arms. "You are so beautiful." His eyes, which are sparkling in the moonlight, are appreciating my nakedness. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"I'm the lucky one," I say as I run my hands up his chest and drape my arms around his neck. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says before his lips land on mine. As our mouths move together, one of his hand moves up to palm a breast while the other slowly moves between my thighs. "You're always so ready for me." He strokes two fingers in and out of my moist womanhood while he circles my nubbin with his thumb. "You must really like having me in your mouth."

"I do," I huskily say as the familiar rush of heat floods my cheeks.

"Don't ever lose that blush, Mrs. Eaton," he murmurs as he draws my lips to his. He kisses me passionately before moving his mouth to my neck. "I would miss it." He kisses his way down my chest, stopping at my heaving breasts, teasing them until I think I might die. I move my hips in rhythm with his probing digits as he kisses his way further down my writhing abdomen. He gently pushes me back until I'm lying flat on the cold, rough concrete and slowly removes his fingers from my body. He spreads my legs wider and sucks in a deep breath as his fiery gaze moves over my naked body. He's looking at me like I'm a priceless piece of artwork. He leans over and presses open mouthed kisses on one inner thigh and then the other before dragging his tongue up my moist opening and over my aching nubbin.

"Damn, baby," I murmur. The combination of the cool night air on my enflamed skin and his hot breath on the most intimate part of my body is driving me insane. I tangle my fingers in his hair as he leisurely thrusts his tongue in and out of my womanhood, slurping up my juices. After what seems like hours, but in reality must only be minutes, he moves that talented tongue up to my throbbing bundle of nerves, attacking it like a cat pouncing on a mouse. He licks, sucks, and nibbles then repeats the pattern over and over again. "Shit, Tobias!" I wriggle against his mouth as my orgasm builds but he keeps me in place with a firm grip on my thighs, never letting his tongue deviate from its target. " _Oh, God!_ I'm gonna come. _Oh, Tobias!_ " My back arches up off the stage as my release roars through my body. I call out his name, clenching around the emptiness inside me with rhythmic convulsions. I try to close my legs but he holds my thighs wide open, never letting his tongue leave my oversensitive nubbin as he carries me through my devastating orgasm. I pull in lungsful of air, desperate for oxygen as my racing heart slows to a normal rhythm.

"Come here, love." I wrap myself around him after he helps me sit up. Our mouths collide in a savage kiss. He sips lightly on my bottom lip then bites down, sending a jolt of pleasure to my aching core.

"I need you inside me, baby," I murmur against his lips. "Now. _Please_." He takes a few steps and carefully lowers us onto a lone faded red chair in what once must have been the front row. Its mates are long gone as are its armrests, making it easy for me to straddle his hips. I reach between us and grasp his hard, heavy shaft. I run his thick, bulbous head through my moist folds a few times then place him at my entrance. We stare into each other's eyes as he slowly pushes up inside me, inch by inch. When he imbeds himself into me fully, he lets out a lustful moan and I sigh. He feels so good.

"Damn, I've missed you, love," he hoarsely whispers as he wraps his arms tightly around me and hugs me closely, burying his face in my hair.

"I've missed you, too, Tobias." He slides his hands up and down my bare back as he softly kisses along my jawline to my mouth. I unhurriedly lift myself up onto my tiptoes then force myself back down on his hard length, our mouths never leaving each other's. Our pace is slow, loving. Our regular breaths become erratic, labored with the exertion. He grasps my hips as I begin to move over him faster, steadying our rhythm. I clutch his back and neck tightly, our lips locked together passionately as our bodies easily move together as one. My stiff nipples abrade his chest with each of our combined thrusts, and I feel the intimate contact between my thighs, making me even wetter for him. I tear my mouth from his and moan loudly as I feel myself climbing toward another incredible release.

"You feel so good," he murmurs against my ear, our sensual rhythm becoming frenzied and frantic. "Always so tight for me." I involuntarily clench at his words, and he lets out a rapturous groan. I repeatedly whimper his name as we writhe against each other. He thrusts harder as I plunge over the crest of some invisible summit, and he swallows my cries of pure pleasure. After a few final thrusts, he moans into my mouth and follows me over the edge into ecstasy. I collapse against his chest after the final flicker of bliss, panting for much-needed air, and he tightens his grip on me as we let our racing hearts and irregular breathing return to normal.

"I really hate to say this but we should get dressed before someone out wandering finds us," I say as I place soft, tender kisses along his bare shoulder.

"As much as I'd like to keep you naked, Mrs. Eaton, I think you're right," he says. I lift myself off his lap and turn to pick up my clothes. "Missing something?" I look over my shoulder and he's holding up my panties on the end of his index finger, a mischievous smile on his lips. "You can have these back but I'm warning you right now, I'm taking them back off of you as soon as we get home."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" I ask, flirtatious humor evident in my voice. I'm so happy right now. I pluck my boy shorts off his finger after several attempts – he kept moving them out of my reach – and slide them up my legs and into place.

"Oh, that is most definitely a promise."

"How are you doing, baby?" I ask after we're once again fully dressed. We're sitting side by side on the edge of the stage where not that long ago he brought me to the most delicious orgasm. He drapes his arm over my shoulders and pulls me close to his side, kissing my temple lovingly.

"This is the best I've felt in nearly a week," he says. "I'm relaxed. I'm extremely happy." His voice lowers to a seductive tone. "I'm satisfied." He sweeps my hair over my shoulder and softly kisses the spot just behind my ear. "I don't care about the rumors. Hell, I don't care about Dauntless. All I care about is you and our kids." He draws my mouth to his for a tender kiss. "Thank you for giving me what I needed tonight. I know you were hesitant to begin with." I blush as I look around at the wide-open space before us.

"I'll be honest, baby, someone actually seeing us make love like Zeke did mortifies me. But _the thought_ of being caught does something to me that I can't quite explain. It's a different level of excitement."

"Like when we play," he states.

"You understand."

"Of course, I do," he says. "I love the intimacy we share each and every time we make love but there are different levels of excitement. At least there is for me."

"Do you like it better when we just make love or when we play?"

"Better?" he mutters under his breath. "I love every time we're together. It's always exciting, special, loving … _different_." He smiles warmly at me, strong affection shining in his moonlit eyes. "I do have my favorite times though just like you do."

"Yeah," I say, my mind replaying our most intimate memories.

"I bet I can guess some of yours because I'm sure they're mine, too," he says.

"Okay," I say. "What are they?"

"Obviously, our first time." I nod. "The night you accepted my proposal. Our first time as husband and wife." Again, he's right. "Our first game of naughty Candor or Dauntless. The night I tied you to our bed." He's on a roll! "Our first time after Olivia tried to kill you. Our first time after you were kidnapped. Our first time after Teags was born." He's right on all accounts. "The day we conceived Teagan."

"That's my favorite," I say, interrupting him. "Our love made another life. That will always be special even though we didn't know we were doing it."

"Putting her inside you is my number one also," he says. I yawn widely around my contented smile, suddenly exhausted, and he says, "I need to get you home, love." He jumps off the stage then helps me to my feet. He takes my hand and leads me toward the train. "You have the energy to jump on the train one last time tonight?"

"I have to," I say, "or we have quite a walk in front of us."

"How about I give you a ride instead?" he asks. I look up at him, excited by the prospect.

"You mean…"

"Jump on my back," he says. "I'll carry you." He turns around and I practically climb him like a tree.

"This is awesome," I say as I kiss his neck. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"What are we going to do about Hector?" I ask when he sets me on my feet at the train tracks. There's no telling exactly how long we'll have to wait for a train heading toward Dauntless. "I can't help but think there's something wrong with him. It's like he was baiting you tonight."

"You thought that too?" he asks.

"Definitely."

"I really don't get it," he says. "I've known him for nearly five years. He's never acted like this, not once. He could be a little annoying, especially to Shauna and Lynn but I've never seen him downright disrespectful and rude before."

"Do you think talking to him in private would help? Do you think he would confide in us? It seems like he views us as the enemy all of a sudden. Do you think this has something to do with his mother?"

"If we hadn't had that conversation with Alicia earlier, I'd say there was no way but her over interest in our personal lives tells me there's definitely something going on there."

"Any clue what it is?" I ask. The approaching train's headlight shines in the distance and we ready ourselves to run.

"None," he says, "and let's try to forget about it the rest of the night, okay?"

"You're right," I say. "There's no need to let meaningless negative thoughts intrude on our evening. We'll figure it out sooner or later."

"That's the spirit," he says, dropping a kiss on my forehead as the train fast approaches. "Let's go home!"


	23. Chapter 23

I groan as I roll over in my warm, soft, luxurious bed, not quite ready to wake up and face whatever the day has to bring. It feels like I just got to sleep. It's a good thing the kids are at my parents or Tobias and I would both be sleepwalking through the day. When we walked through our door last night, or should I say early this morning, he practically attacked me, taking all my clothes back off just like he had promised he would when we were still in Erudite. We leisurely made love on the couch because we couldn't wait two minutes to go up one flight of stairs to our bedroom. When we finished, he carried me upstairs, and after talking, laughing, kissing, and cuddling for about an hour, the passion exploded once again, and we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

I reach out for Tobias, but all I find are warm, empty sheets. He couldn't have gotten up long ago. I finally pry my heavy eyelids open and am nearly blinded by the midday sun filling our bedroom. I raise my head and look at the clock on Tobias' nightstand. I'm surprised to find that it's nearly 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I guess we slept longer than I thought. I roll out of bed and stumble into the humid bathroom, still half asleep. I smile when I see the outline of my handsome husband through the cloudy shower door. Before I go to join him, I relieve my extremely full bladder. When I finish, I stand to join Tobias, and the room starts to violently spin, so I plop back down on the toilet seat trying to make my world quit turning.

"Tris?" Tobias opens the shower door and sees me sitting with my head practically between my knees. He hurriedly grabs a towel off the warmer and wraps it around his hips then kneels down in front of me, water dripping off his body onto my bare feet. "Are you okay, love?"

"Yeah," I say as I look up but the dizziness is very profound. I sway but before I can fall his arms are around me, rooting me in place.

"No, you're not," he worriedly says, kissing the top of my head. "Do I need to call the infirmary?"

"No," I mutter but suddenly my tummy does a series of flip flop and I roughly push against his chest but he doesn't budge. "Oh, God! Let go of me!" He releases me, and I move as quickly as I can, turning around just in the nick of time to empty the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl. He holds my hair away from my face as I continue retching. When the nausea disappears as quickly as it came, I flush the toilet then sit back down.

"You're white as a ghost," he fretfully says, caressing the side of my face with a gentle, loving touch. I give him a small smile.

"I must be coming down with something," I say. "I got really nauseous in the hotel last night. I thought it was the dust and mold. That place reeked."

"You didn't tell me that," he says. He gets up and fills the small tumbler that sits next to the faucet with water and hands it to me.

"Thanks." I take a couple small sips. "I actually forgot until right now," I say, chuckling embarrassedly. "When I heard the laughter and couldn't figure out where it was coming from, I hightailed it out of there. I hate to admit it but I was…"

"Scared," he softly says, interrupting me. I nod my head.

"Yeah, I was. The ghost stories got to me, I guess. That place is beyond creepy. I can see how the rumors that it's haunted got started."

"Are you feeling better?" he asks as he takes the empty glass from my hand and puts it back on the counter where it belongs. "Your color is better."

"Actually, I do feel much better," I say. "Do you need to finish your shower?"

"Well, I probably should rinse the conditioner from my hair."

"May I join you?"

"Of course, you can," he says. "You don't have to ask permission."

"I'm going to brush my teeth first," I say when he offers me his hand.

"Okay," he says then he kisses the top of my head. I stay seated and watch him as he drops his towel to the floor and steps inside the glass shower enclosure. _Damn, he's good looking._ I definitely married well. I shake off the sudden surge of desire and get up. I quickly brush my teeth then discard his t-shirt that I slipped on when I got out of bed. Wearing it feels like having his arms wrapped around me. I ensure we have enough towels on the warmer then open the door and step into the steam-filled shower. Tobias turns with a smile on his face but it quickly fades as his eyes slide up and down my body.

"What the hell?" he mutters.

"What?"

"You have more bruises, Tris," he says, his voice anguish laced.

"What? Where?" I look down and am surprised to see several sets of fingertip bruises on my hips, thighs, and breasts … everywhere he held me as we made love. This makes absolutely no sense.

"Did…" He closes his eyes, and his voice trails off. He takes a deep breath then clears his throat. "Did I get too rough with you last night?"

"No, you didn't. As a matter of fact, you were gentle." I caress his worried face. "I think it's time we talk to Zander and get to the bottom of this. He said there could be a medical reason behind the bruising." I look down at the numerous little purple prints on my body and my anxiety level increases. "Oh, God! There must be something wrong with me, Tobias." Tears well up in my eyes as panic accelerates my poor heart.

"Hey. Let's not jump to conclusions," he says as he cups my face and kisses away the lone tear that escapes down my cheek. "We don't know what's going on. When we're done, we'll call the infirmary and make an appointment with Zander."

"I'm scared, Tobias."

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't," he says as he engulfs me in his embrace. "Zander would tell us not to stress though. There's no reason to worry until we know something for certain."

"You're right," I sigh. "I'll try not to worry." But the moment I say it my mind runs through the possible causes and I know it could be bad, really bad. I don't want to leave Tobias or the kids.

"You're stressing," he says as he grabs my body wash and pours a good amount into his open palm.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It's only natural to worry," he says. "Let me help you relax." He steps behind me and begins massaging the rich lather into my tight shoulders. I feel my muscles start to loosen as he works his way down my back. He brushes his lips against several places on my left hip, and it takes me a moment to realize he's kissing the bruises just like he did with the handprint on my arm those weeks ago.

"You're not beating yourself up about this are you?" I ask. He looks up at me, mixed emotions on his handsome face. "Please don't."

"I'm not but I don't like seeing bruises on your skin," he says. While he's on his knees he also kisses my scars. "You didn't have any marks when we met."

"Not until Eric matched me with Peter," I say winching at the memory of his fists repeatedly hitting me.

"Not funny, love," he says. I run my fingers through his wet hair then caress the side of his face.

"I wasn't trying to be funny," I say. "I was just stating a fact. Myra got a few good punches in but she didn't give me any bruises. You know technically you are the first one who injured me." He furrows his brows in confusion. "Tell me, baby, does my ear have a scar on it?" This time I was trying to be funny but I only feel guilty when I see his face fall. I help him to his feet and wrap my arms around his midsection in a tight hug. "I'm sorry. That was insensitive. What that ass made you do was so wrong. I shouldn't tease you about it."

"There's no scar there," he says as he kisses the top of my head.

"How do you know?"

"I just looked," he says. He lowers his smiling lips to mine, and I get lost in his searing kiss. He leans back, panting and his heated gaze burns through me. "I need to be inside you right now, love."

"I want you, too, Tobias," I mumble before crashing my lips into his. He turns off the water then easily lifts me off my feet. I wrap myself around him, kissing him as he carries me into our bedroom and lies me down on the bed. I think he's going to join me but instead he steps back and stares at me so I take a moment to enjoy my view. As my gaze travels up and down his body, I realize that my core is aching painfully with need and I squeeze my thighs together. It takes so little to make me want him so desperately. "Come here." I beckon him with my index finger. He kneels on the end of the mattress and climbs up my body, dropping kisses as he goes until I'm lying beneath him. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist and feel him, hard and wanting between us. He moves a damp strand off my face, lowers his lips to mine, and kisses me tenderly, causing a slow shiver to run up my spine. He reaches between us and tests my readiness. Finding me very wet, he moves his hips back, and then slowly slides inside me in one steady thrust. I close my eyes and moan, savoring the feel of him on me, in me. There's still no better feeling in the world than when he pushes inside me, stretching me almost to the point of pain.

"Open your eyes. I want you to look at me while I love you." My eyelids flutter open, and I stare up at him. "God, I love you, Tris."

"I love you, Tobias," I say, caressing his cheek. He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me tenderly. It soon deepens, and he begins a slow, sensual, in-and-out rhythm. I squeeze my arms and legs tightly around him as we move together harmoniously. He pulls his mouth from mine and stares down at me as he balances on his elbows, his fingers in my hair. The love in his eyes is intense, and it chokes me up. He keeps the pace steady, controlled, rocking into me in long, smooth strokes. I roll my hips to meet every one of his deep thrusts.

"I love being inside you," he pants as he kisses my neck. I clench down on his hard length and he groans.

"I love having you inside me," I murmur then I moan. My hands roam up and down his back, feeling his well-defined muscles beneath my fingertips flex and contract with each powerful thrust. We pick up the pace and pressure builds in my sex. Our hips meet in a perfect, synchronized dance. I pull his mouth back to mine and kiss him roughly as I get closer. He shifts, thrusting into me at a deeper angle like he's trying to crawl inside me. I gasp against his probing tongue then moan his name but it sounds like a garbled mess. He reads my body perfectly and thrusts more forcefully. I rip my lips from his just so I can breathe.

"Look at me," he roughly demands. "I want you to look at me when you come." I open my eyes, which I didn't know were closed. He's rests himself on his forearms, driving into me with all he has. I cling to his body as he pistons in and out of my tight sex at an impressive rate but my eyes never leave his. The pressure in my core builds and builds and when I don't think I can take anymore, I explode. I tighten around him almost painfully, drawing him deeper inside as my body shudders uncontrollably. He thrusts deeper still one final time, erupting in his own satisfying release. His body shakes above mine then he collapses on top of me. Our mixed heavy breathing fills the room as we let our heartbeats return to normal. After a few minutes he pulls out of me and rolls onto his back. I snuggle into his side, draping a leg over his and run my fingertips over his swollen lips then down his stubbled chin as his fingertips slowly roam my naked body.

"I should call the infirmary," I say after a few quiet minutes.

"I'll do it. You relax," he says as he kisses my bare shoulder. He rolls onto his side and grabs his phone off his nightstand. "I take it you want the first available appointment."

"Yeah," I say. "It doesn't matter what's going on, I'll make time." He dials the infirmary and learns that Zander actually has an available appointment in half an hour, so we spring out of bed, shower, and dress in a hurry. Before we leave the apartment, I strip the wet sheets off our bed and throw them in the washer. They're still soaked, as is our mattress. I guess that's what we get for not taking the time to dry off before falling into bed. If it doesn't dry out by tonight, we'll have a long night ahead of us on the couch. We dash down the path ignoring grumbled protests and dirty looks to get to the infirmary on time.

"What has you a million miles away?" Tobias asks as we sit side-by-side on an uncomfortable metal examination table, the thin mattress doing nothing to warm up the cold steel beneath us.

"Nothing." Feeling a shiver run through me, he puts his arm around me and rubs his hand up and down the chilled skin, trying to warm me up.

"Tris," he admonishes. "What's wrong?" I huff out a sigh.

"I was just thinking about the rumors."

"What about them?" It's his turn to sigh.

"I saw how everyone was looking at you on our way here," I murmur. "I wanted to tear their heads off."

"I know," he says as he tucks an unruly strand of hair behind my ear.

"How?" I ask, leaning into him.

"I'd say that about, oh, 95% of the time I can easily read on your beautiful face what you're thinking," he says. "It hurts that the Dauntless members think I abuse you."

"I don't want anything to be wrong with me but if there's a legitimate medical reason behind the bruising then we can tell everyone that it's not your fault." He gets up and starts pacing.

"Love, I think that most people have made up their minds about me … right or wrong." I start to argue but he quickly continues. "I know it isn't right and I know it hurts you but what can we do?"

"Let me stand up in front of our faction and tell them the truth," I say. "It's what I've wanted from the beginning. I don't care if they believe me or not. At least I will have tried to make them see the truth. Then maybe, just maybe, they'll stop looking at you like you're the devil, and I'll stop wanting to murder them." He stares at me for the longest time then a smile turns up his lips, brightening the entire room.

"Okay," he acquiesces. "I still don't agree but I'm not going to ignore your wishes any longer. If this is what you need to do then do it." Suddenly, I feel very guilty.

"Tobias? Am I ignoring what _you_ want?" He thinks about it for only a second, maybe two then shakes his head.

"No. No, not at all," he vehemently denies. "We did it my way. It didn't work. Now we'll try it yours and see what happens."

"Thank you," I say. I reach out, take his hands, and pull him to me. I press my body against his and drag his lips to mine. I hook my legs around the back of his thighs as I kiss him hungrily. He pulls away from me when someone clears their throat and I flush at getting caught.

"You two act more like newlyweds than most newlywed couples I know. One of these days I'm going to walk in on you having sex," Zander says with a smirk and I'm sure I turn an even more stunning shade of red. "So, what can I do for you today?"

"I have more bruises," I say.

"Where are they located?"

"Her hips, thighs, and breasts," Tobias says when I hesitate. "We had sex last night but it wasn't rough, not at all. That's why we're worried. She shouldn't bruise this easily."

"You told us there could be a medical reason for this," I say. "What could it be, Zander? Could it be something serious?"

"Some causes are more serious than others," he says. "I'll have some blood drawn then do a physical exam. And just so you know, lots of couples leave bruises on their partners during sexual activity. It's not uncommon."

"It is for us," Tobias murmurs. "We've gotten rough with each other in the past but last night wasn't like that … not at all. She's got bruises everywhere."

"Normally I would ask you to wait in the waiting room while I examine Tris, Four, but I know she's more comfortable with you here," he says to Tobias then he looks at me. "I need you to change into a gown. A nurse will be in momentarily to collect some blood then I'll be back to perform the physical examination. We'll get down to the bottom of these bruises, Tris. I promise."

"Thanks, Zander," I say. As soon as he leaves the exam room, shutting the door behind him, I strip down and put on the ever-hated hospital gown. A nurse I've only seen a handful of times almost immediately comes into the room, and I'm careful to keep my bruises covered but it's hard in the revealing gown. Tobias doesn't need another rumor spreading around the compound. She takes several vials of blood without as much as a hello then leaves us alone again. After sitting on the examination table for far too long, nervously swinging my legs back and forth, Zander walks through the door. After poking and prodding my bruises – great, I'll have even more tomorrow – he performs a very thorough physical examination.

"I'm going to check on the test results," he says as he tosses the disposable latex gloves in the trash. If I'm not mistaken, he looks troubled. Hopefully, it was my imagination. When the door creaks open I expect to see Zander but it's the same nurse from earlier.

"Dr. Parrish needs a urine sample," she says, sounding bored.

"Okay," I say as I take the specimen cup from her. "Did he say why he needs this?"

"No."

"Tell me something, Kelly," Tobias says. She turns and looks at him. "Do you like your job?"

"Yes," she says, her brows furrowing.

"Then you should act like it," he says. She narrows her eyes at him before painting a fake smile on her face.

"Of course, Four," she says, utter contempt dripping from her high-pitched little girl voice. "I'll wait for you outside, Tris."

"Bitch," I mutter as she heads into the hallway. I'm definitely saying something to Zander. If she's this rude to her leaders, how does she treat her other patients? "I'll be right back, baby." I hop down and go into the small bathroom in the corner of the room. I easily fill the specimen cup then seal it. After I wash my hands, I make sure the back of my gown is closed, and I step out into the hallway to find the snarky nurse. She's leaning against the wall with her back to me, twisting a strand of hair around a finger. I hear her talking in hushed tones, although I can't make out what she's saying. I try to peer over her shoulder but I don't see anyone else around. "Excuse me." She turns, a phone pressed against her ear.

"I've got to go." She doesn't give the other person time to respond, and she doesn't say goodbye, she just hangs up. "You have the urine sample?" I suddenly have the strongest urge to undo the cup and throw its contents in her face but then we'd have to wait until I could give another sample so I shake off the errant thought.

"It's right here," I say. "Perhaps you should be nicer to my husband and me."

"I don't tolerate wife beaters." I shove her up against the wall forgetting about my gown, catching her by surprise. I'd get in her face but she's taller than me.

"You listen and listen good. My husband has never once lifted a finger against me. I'm sick and tired of people like you who don't know me or Four thinking you have everything figured out. You heard a rumor, which happens to be completely false and instead of doing the right thing and ignoring it, you decided to keep it as gospel. Let me tell you this, he has never beat me. He has never hit me. He doesn't abuse me. He treats me like a queen. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Tris. I'm sorry." Funny she doesn't sound remorseful.

"You should be," I mutter as I move away from her. "Four and I deserve respect and much better treatment than what you are providing."

"What's going on here?" Zander asks as he appears in the hallway.

"Nothing, Dr. Parrish," she says.

"It sounded like a lot more than nothing to me, Kelly," he says, his eyes razor focused on his nurse. "I heard every word of what Tris just said."

"I apologized to her," she stubbornly says like that makes her behavior okay.

"You shouldn't have needed to apologize to begin with," he says. "First of all, Four and Tris are good friends of mine. When you insult them, you insult me. Second, they are leaders of this faction and no matter your personal beliefs, they deserve respect at all times. Third, if I see you being disrespectful to a patient ever again you will be relieved of duty. Since you are Dauntless that would mean guarding the fence for the rest of your career or becoming factionless. Is that what you want?" She gets paler with every word.

"No, Dr. Parrish," she says. "I love my job."

"As of right now you are on probation," he says. "One infraction, no matter how small, and you're done around here. Understand?"

"Yes, doctor."

"You're relieved for the day," he says. She opens her mouth to argue, I imagine, but his stern look shuts her up. "Go. Now." She throws me a dirty look then turns and walks away.

"Are you okay, Tris?" Zander asks.

"I'm fine," I say. "I just hope my husband isn't in the exam room unnecessarily beating himself up because of her."

"I meant every word I said to her," he says. "She'll be dealt with."

"I appreciate it, Zander," I say. "Um, can you tell me why you need this?" I hold up the full specimen cup.

"I need to confirm my diagnosis," he says, taking the sample from me. "I'll put a rush on your test results. Once I get them back, I'll be in to talk to you and Four. Just sit tight."

"Can I change back into my clothes?"

"Not yet," he says.

"Okay," I sigh. "Thanks, Zander." When I enter my exam room, Tobias greets me with a deep, leisurely kiss that catches me off guard. When he releases me, leaving me breathless and wanting I ask him, "What was that for?"

"Being you," he huskily says. "I heard you standing up to that nurse. You are the bravest, sexiest, most loving woman I know."

"I'm not that brave," I say, hugging him tightly, feeling his racing heart beneath my ear.

"It does things to me when you stand up for me, for us." I feel the sizable bulge in the front of his jeans and can't believe he's aroused. Who am I kidding? I'm aroused, too. It's hard not to be when he's holding me in his arms like he is right now.

"I better sit down before things get out of hand," I mutter against his chest. "I know Zander was only kidding earlier but I don't want his prediction to come true."

"You thinking of having your way with me right here?" he asks, amused.

"If there was a lock on that door, I'd turn it and we'd see if this exam table is sturdy," I giggle. We hold each other closely, his lips in my hair, my fingers grazing his back. We finally reluctantly release each other, knowing better than to get carried away despite my earlier joke.

I lift myself back onto the cold exam table and try to relax while we wait for the test results. I expect Tobias to join me but he's much too nervous. First, he paces for a while then he leans against the wall, staring at the floor. When that's too much for him to bear, he sits in the chair, his legs bouncing wildly then he gets up and stands before me, concern on his face.

"What's taking so long?"

"Zander told me that he's confirming his diagnosis," I say. "Do you have any idea what it could be?"

"No." Something akin to guilt flashes in his eyes but quickly disappears making me think I imagined it.

"Tobias?" He raises his eyes to mine just as Zander comes back into the room.

"I have your test results, and I know the cause of the bruises, Tris," Zander says. "You're anemic."

"Anemic?" I repeat. "What causes that?"

"Well," he pauses then cautiously says, "it's not uncommon in the first trimester."


	24. Chapter 24

" _Excuse_ _me?_ " I ask. I hear Tobias' muttering but his voice sounds robotic and a million miles away to my traumatized ears. " _First trimester?"_ A strong sense of déjà vu washes over me as I sit on an examination table in the infirmary. I fight as hard as I can against the nervous laughter building inside but it rips from my lips anyway. I could be wrong but it just sounded like Zander told me I'm pregnant … in a very roundabout way but that's impossible. Tobias and I chose the IUD specifically so we wouldn't have another unplanned pregnancy. " _What?_ " I look from Tobias who is leaning against the examination table, a mask of confusion covering his pale face to Zander.

"I'm sorry, guys. I should have been clearer a few minutes ago. I suspected anemia was the cause of your bruising, Tris, and your initial blood tests confirmed that diagnosis with low levels of both iron and folate. There are several causes of anemia but with you lacking those two specific compounds, I immediately suspected that you were pregnant. I ordered the urine sample and ran another blood test to confirm my suspicions, and the results came back positive. Congratulations! You're pregnant," he says, a wide smile on his face. Tobias and I don't respond, we just sit there, me anxiously laughing like a crazy person and him frozen and mute, now with his Four mask covering his face. I wonder how we look to Zander. After a moment he asks, "Are you two okay? This obviously has come as quite a shock."

"I think we need a minute," Tobias finally murmurs.

"Of course," he says, getting up off the rolling stool he sat down on as he delivered the life-altering news. "Take all the time you need. Just shoot me a text when you're ready to continue. We still need to do the initial prenatal examination and ultrasound."

"Thanks, Zander," Tobias says. I would say the same thing but I'm still tittering, lost inside my head.

 _Pregnant?_ But I'm on birth control. This can't be happening … not _again!_ What exactly does this mean? Tobias doesn't even want another baby. He's been adamant about that for weeks now. I can't lose him. I _won't_ lose him. What if he doesn't want this baby? What if he wants me to get rid of it? Could I do that? _No! Absolutely not!_ This baby is a part of us. What if he hates me? What if he leaves me? I can't do this without him. These are the things running wildly and unrestrictedly through my head. I look up and find Tobias' steely gaze fixated on me. Panic constricts my chest, making it hard to breathe but I manage to keep my cool … just barely.

"Tell me, love, what are you thinking?" I look up and see Four and long for Tobias but I understand. This has come as quite a shock. I shake my head, unable or unwilling to answer. I'm not sure which. "Tris, we promised each other honesty. You can tell me anything. You know that."

"You don't want another baby," I murmur, barely above a whisper. Tears well up then slowly overflow my eyes as I voice my fear out loud. For a split second, his mask falters and agony flashes across his face. He cups my cheeks between his big, strong hands that have always taken such great care of me and wipes away the tears with his thumbs. I reach up and grasp his wrists, needing to anchor myself to him in this moment.

"My reservations have _never ever_ been about having more children with you. Hell, we could single-handedly fill this faction with kids, and I'd be one happy sonofabitch. I love our kids more than anything. Well, except for you, of course." He softly presses his lips to mine. The kiss is tender, loving, and doesn't last nearly long enough.

"So, you're okay with this?" I softly ask. "You're not mad at me?" He lets his mask fall away, and I finally see everything he's feeling clearly written on his face: joy, pride, fear, _cockiness_. Of course! He's such a man!

"Of course, I'm okay with it. More than okay. And the only way I would be angry with you is if you had the IUD removed without my knowledge, which I know you would never do. You would never disrespect or hurt me like that. We both know that abstinence is the only 100% effective form of birth control and," he laughs, " _that's_ never going to happen." I can't help but giggle at the look on his face. "I love being inside you too much, making love to you … making love _with_ you."

"I love that, too," I say, caressing his face. He touches his forehead to mine.

"I love you so much, Beatrice Grace Eaton." He moves a hand to my still flat tummy. "And I love this baby already." My anxious tears turn to happy, relieved ones. "I have to be honest with you though. It _terrifies_ me that you're pregnant again, Tris. I can't live through what I did with Evelyn ever again. Sitting with her nearly every day while she laid in that hospital bed, wondering if our Tessa was going to be okay. It nearly destroyed me." He stops and sucks in an unsteady breath. "You have to promise to do _exactly_ what Zander and Isobel tell you … no questions asked or I'm locking you in our bedroom and tying you to the bed for the next nine months and it won't be for sexual pleasure." Heat not only floods my cheeks but my core remembering being tied to our bed, his hands and mouth all over me for hours.

"I promise to be careful," I say, shaking off the sudden desire. "I know how serious this is, and I know how much you worry. I won't do anything to put this baby in jeopardy or myself. Whatever they tell me to do, I'll happily do it," I say.

"That's my girl." My free hand flutters down to my tummy.

"I'm still having a hard time believing this is happening. Another baby," I say. "I really don't see how it's possible."

"These things happen," he says. "We have a beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed monster at your parents' house who is living proof that birth control can sometimes fail."

"But that was different, Tobias," I remind him. "I was poisoned. The death serum erased our protection. We chose the IUD so an unexpected pregnancy couldn't surprise us."

"When's the last time you checked to see if it's in place?" he asks. My cheeks flush with embarrassment remembering that it's been months since I checked for the little string. I just assumed that it was there protecting us.

"I guess I got a little lax," I say. He stares at me like he's searching for something.

"How do _you_ feel about this?" he asks after a quiet moment. "I thought you would be over the moon. You don't seem to be acting that way."

"I think I'm still in a bit of shock but I'm very happy." He kisses the side of my head and covers my hand with his. "We created another life, baby. How could I be anything but overjoyed? I love you so much, Tobias."

"I love you, too, Tris," he says, our lips touching for a soft, intimate kiss full of love and joy.

"We're having a baby!" I breathlessly say as my lips turn up with the brightest smile.

"We're having a baby!" he says, returning my grin. We take a moment to bask in our elation before Tobias pulls out his phone and texts Zander. We're cuddling and kissing when he comes into the room.

"That's more like it," he mutters lowly, probably not meaning for us to hear it. "I take it this is good news."

"Definitely," Tobias says. "We've been talking about another baby for a few weeks now."

"I'm still finding this hard to believe but a baby is most definitely welcome," I say.

"I didn't know you were trying," he says.

"We weren't," I say.

"That makes your reactions make sense now," he says. "At least it isn't my fault this time."

"I think it's his fault," I say tossing my thumb in Tobias' direction. "He's the one with super sperm to get around the IUD." We all laugh even as I blush. I can't believe I just said that. I don't think any of us believe I just said that!

"Well let's get down to business," Zander says. "I'll ask a few questions then do a complete prenatal workup including a pelvic and ultrasound."

"Okay," I say.

"When was your last period?" he asks. Oh boy!

"I'm not exactly sure," I slowly say, thinking back to the day I felt like I was dying and stayed in bed for nearly 24 hours. "I've only had three since the IUD was implanted. The last one was … _three_ months ago I think." It sounds like a question. "I don't know the exact date. I didn't think to make a notation but it was horrible, especially after not having one in over a year."

"Hhm," is all he says as he makes a notation in the chart. "When's the last time you checked the placement of the IUD?"

"I don't know. Months," I say. "I got lax about checking." My negligence causes my cheeks to heat.

"That happens. I'll see if it's still in place when I do the exam and the ultrasound," he says. "If it is you'll have a decision to make."

"What's that?" Tobias asks, his voice dripping with concern.

"An IUD pregnancy has a higher rate of miscarriage," he says. "If it's still in place you'll have to decide whether to remove it or leave it in but we're getting ahead of ourselves. I'll be right back." I knew there were risks from the preeclampsia but I totally forgot about the risks the IUD posed until he reminded us. My heart flutters rapidly in my chest. I'm just getting used to the idea that we're actually having another baby. I don't want to lose it.

"You're awfully quiet," Tobias softly says. He's standing right beside me. I turn and look up at him.

"I don't want to lose this baby," I murmur. He wraps his arms around me.

"We'll deal with whatever comes our way. You and me, love, always."

"I love you, baby," I say.

"I love you, too," he says. I sit on the end of the examination table, my knees nervously bouncing up and down, and Tobias is standing next to me, holding my hand.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road," Zander jovially says as he walks back into the room with a different nurse who's dragging a portable ultrasound machine behind her. "Four, you can stand at Tris' head, holding her hand." He adjusts the exam table and has me put my feet in the stirrups and scoot to the very end of the table. Besides the agonizing pain of labor this is my least favorite part of pregnancy. I'd gladly take erratic mood swings, debilitating morning sickness, and other physical symptoms over this. My one consolation is that Tobias is here holding my hand. He doesn't accompany me to my yearly gynecology appointments so this is a nice change. I look up into his eyes as Zander performs the pelvic exam. "I'm confident that the IUD has been expelled but I'll confirm it with the ultrasound."

"How often does that happen?" Tobias asks. "We thought we were covered with the IUD. Did we make the wrong choice? Are we going to have an unplanned pregnancy again in a couple years if this is the route we choose to go again in the future?"

"It's actually quite rare," he says. "And I've never seen it happen to the same woman twice."

"I guess that's good to know," I say. "I really like the convenience of the IUD but I'm with Four. We don't want another unplanned pregnancy in the future. Two is enough for one lifetime."

"I can imagine," he says as he swings the stirrups down and the end of the table up so I can lie back comfortably now that the physical exam portion is over. He puts a blanket over the lower part of my body and pulls my gown up to expose my abdomen. I stare at it as he pulls the portable ultrasound machine over. It could be my imagination but it doesn't look as flat as I thought it did. Hhm. Tobias drapes his arm over my shoulder and kisses my temple. I grip his hand tighter. I remember hearing Teagan's heartbeat for the first time and nervous excitement rushes through me.

"You're glowing," Tobias quietly says, his mouth against my ear.

"I'm happy," I say.

"So am I," he says as Zander, after a quick warning, puts the cold lubricant on my belly, making me shiver. He places the transducer in the jelly and moves it around, pressing down firmly.

"The IUD is indeed gone," he says after a reflective moment, still moving the wand around. "That's good news. Now you don't have to worry about that." He narrows his eyes as he looks at the screen. "Hhm."

"What is it?" Tobias and I ask at the same time. He sounds … _different_ and my heart rate picks up.

"I'll let you see in just a moment," he says. He keeps the wand firmly in place on my belly while he turns the screen towards us and flips a switch. My baby's heartbeat echoes throughout the room, bringing tears of joy to my eyes. I lean into Tobias, and he kisses my head. My eyes are pinned to the monitor waiting for the moment I get to see our newest addition for the first time. I feel Tobias' kiss everywhere: My cheek, along my jawline, on my temple, in my hair. I can feel his intense excitement. It's just as palpable as my own. "Okay, look here." Zander points to the screen with his free hand as he slowly moves the wand. The heartbeat fades into nothingness then picks back up. That's odd. I furrow my brows as I stare at the screen.

"Um, w-what's g-going on?" Tobias stutters. I've never heard him sound this way before. The room goes silent, and Zander does something that changes the picture on the screen. Tobias cussed under his breath, and I find myself getting anxious.

"What's going on?" I ask, confused.

"Two," he murmurs in a trance-like state.

"Two what?" I ask, still unclear as to what's going on.

"Babies."

" _Babies_? What the hell are you talking about?" I was always in awe when I saw Teagan in the early ultrasound pictures but to be honest I had a hard time making anything out unless Zander or Isobel was physically pointing at it. She just looked like an ink blot test to me. I narrow my eyes at the screen. Teagan was clearly the shape of a peanut but this baby looks more like a … bean. _My baby bean!_ Then I see it … a second rounder shape. "What the fuck?" My hands fly to my mouth and my bottom lip quivers almost violently as tears roll down my cheeks.

"Congratulations, Mommy and Daddy! You are having twins," Zander says. _Twins_? Holy hell! I wanted another baby but two? I'm not sure I'm ready for that. _What the hell are you thinking, Tris?_ I already have two babies growing inside of me at this moment. I can't change that. I just have to deal with it. I take a deep breath and let the tears continue.

"Tris?" Tobias asks. His voice sounds far away. "Love, are you okay?"

"Hhm?" I mumble, finally looking up at him.

"You're pale," he says, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

"I only wanted one baby," I murmur and he smiles warmly.

"Yeah but looks like we have two in there."

"That happens to the best of us," Zander heartily laughs and I remember his twins, Nash and Nya. Oh, God! I hope our twins aren't hellions like those two.

"Do you know if there are any sets of twins in your family?" he asks.

"My dad told me he has twin … brothers I think it was," I say.

"Twins run in families and they have the tendency to skip generations, although that isn't always the case."

"Well, if I have any questions, I'll be sure to ask Stella," I say. "Or Isobel. She has twins, too."

"I know you will," he says. "Now let's figure out exactly how far along you are." He moves the transducer and focuses on the first baby. _First baby!_ "This is baby A because it's closest to the cervix." He flips a switch and the heartbeat echoes wildly throughout the room again. "Baby A's heart rate is 167 beats per minute and looks to be 0.75 inches long, which puts you roughly between eight and nine weeks." Already? Wow! My first trimester is nearly over. How did I not suspect anything? _I'm a terrible mother._ He moves the wand to my other baby and soon its heartbeat is sounding throughout the room. "This is baby B. Its heart rate is 169 beats per minute and is measuring 0.77 inches, which also puts you right between eight and nine weeks. Let me calculate your due date, which is 35-36 weeks for twins." He enters some data into the computer then looks back at us with a smile. "Looks like your due date is January 23. Do you have any questions for me?"

"Can you tell if they're identical or not?" Tobias asks still staring at the screen, awed. Zander adds more goo and moves the transducer around again but I'm not sure what he's looking for.

"There are two gestational sacs and what looks to be two placentae but it's not perfectly clear," he says. "My educated guess is that you have fraternal twins here, which happens when two separate eggs are fertilized, so you could have two girls, two boys, or one of each. If they are sharing one placenta, they will be identical twins. We will know for sure at your 20-week ultrasound. I assume you'll want their sexes then."

"Definitely," I say. "It's easier to prepare. Can we bring the kids to that ultrasound? I'd like them to be included in this as much as possible."

"Of course, you can," he says. "It's nice to involve older children in a pregnancy. It makes it an easier transition."

"What about the preeclampsia?" I ask.

"As you know, the fact that you had preeclampsia in your first pregnancy gives you a greater risk of developing it in the second as does the fact that you're carrying multiples. We will closely monitor you monthly until the third trimester then we'll go to a two-week interval, although I do want weekly blood pressure checks when you reach the second trimester. If your numbers are abnormal we will deal with it then more than likely with bedrest. I don't want either of you stressing over it though. Just because the risk is higher doesn't mean you will develop it. My biggest advice is to keep your stress level low. Some great stress relievers are regular exercise, meditation, massage, yoga."

"Sex?" I ask, interrupting and he laughs.

"Yes, Tris, sex can be a great stress reliever," he says, shaking his head. "As long as you are comfortable, it doesn't hurt, and you have no cramping or spotting you can enjoy a healthy sex life right up until you deliver just like a single pregnancy."

"Good," I say. Tobias chuckles and kisses my temple.

"Is there anything we can do to keep her from developing preeclampsia?" he asks.

"The short answer, in your case, is no, not really," Zander says. "Researchers at Erudite have done numerous studies over the years on that very subject. There have been no definitive answers. Some physicians recommend low-dose aspirin therapy in the second and third trimesters to help keep preeclampsia at bay while others refute it. I have no real opinion one way or another. Maybe Isobel does, I don't know."

"Would it hurt to try it?" Tobias asks.

"No, not at all," he says after pondering a moment. "Are you having any pregnancy-related symptoms yet?"

"Yeah," I say with a sigh. "I guess I've been having morning sickness but nothing like with Teags, although the nausea has been brutal at times. I've only been sick a handful of times but I haven't been eating much. My emotions are _all_ over the place. I've had some breast tenderness. I'm exhausted. Oh, I had a dizzy spell this morning."

"All typical symptoms," he says. "You know this but I'd like to go over it again anyway. Get plenty of sleep, lots of water, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, three servings of milk each day, limit your red meat intake, limit your caffeine intake, avoid jumping on and off the train unless absolutely necessary, sex is fine like I said unless it hurts. If you notice any spotting or bleeding call me or Isobel immediately. If you have any cramping or sharp pains call one of us immediately. I'd like you to implement a stress-relieving exercise regimen for preventative measures. The longer you can keep your blood pressure down, the better. Do you have any other questions for me?" Tobias and I look at each other then back at Zander and shake our heads. "You can get dressed, Tris. I'll be back in with ultrasound pictures and prescriptions for prenatal vitamins, iron supplements, and folic acid."

"Can we hear their heartbeats one more time?" I ask.

"Of course," he says, a warm smile on his face. He runs the transducer through the now warm jelly that's dripping over the edge of my tummy and onto the crinkled paper covering the thin mattress on the exam table. Within seconds the room fills with the galloping heartbeat of baby A, my little baby bean. I sit back and listen, awed that our love did this.

"I love you, Tobias," I murmur, needing to say his name even though we're not alone.

"I love you, too, Tris." His voice is thick with unshed tears. I look up at him and he lowers his lips to mine. There is zero passion or lust. This kiss is emotional, full of the deep love we have for each other. When I pull back, I see tears streaming down his cheek through my own tear-filled eyes.

"Now baby B," Zander says. He finds our other miracle, and it looks more rounded kind of like a button.

"Button and bean," I say.

"Hhm?" Tobias murmurs as we listen to its heartbeat.

"This is my baby button," I say. "The other one is baby bean."

"I can see that," he says after a reflective moment. "Amazingly enough, they look nothing like peanut."

"No, they don't," I say. "We're good now, Zander. Thank you very much. We appreciate the few extra minutes."

"It was no problem at all," he says. He cleans the goo off my tummy after cradling the transducer. "I'll be back in a few minutes." I get dressed in a daze, blindsided by the fact that not only am I pregnant but that I'm having twins then Tobias pulls me into his arms. He holds me tightly, my head resting against his chest. His heart is beating faster than normal but it's not racing, not quite.

"Here you go," Zander says after he walks back into the room. I untangle myself from Tobias' embrace and he hands me several shots of our twins – _twins!_ – and three prescriptions. "I want to see you back here in one week to check your iron and folic acid levels. You can make your prenatal appointments with Isobel if you'd like or I'd be happy to handle them."

"Normally, I'd be okay with Isobel but with the risk attached I'd be happier if you handled it, Zander," Tobias says. "Is that okay, love?"

"I agree with you," I say. "I'd like you to be the primary and Isobel can be the secondary caregiver on record."

"You got it," he says. "Congratulations again, you two!" I hug him tightly then we say our goodbyes. After stopping by the pharmacy and getting the vitamins and folic acid, Tobias takes my hand and leads me up the winding path.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"To celebrate before we pick up the kids," he says, looking down at me, his eyes dilated wide with desire. "I have the perfect place in mind." Excitement quickens our pace. When he turns down the familiar hallway, I know exactly where he's taking me, his old apartment. I'll hate the day we have to give it up but as of right now it's like a home away from home. We stop so he can get his keys out of his pocket and a voice I hate fills my ears.

"Hi, Four," Freya says, ignoring me as usual. He doesn't even turn to acknowledge her. He's in too much of a hurry to get into our love nest and get his hands on me. I look at the pretty brunette and smile, trying not to let her ruin my good mood but she's looking at my husband with a wistful look in her eyes.

"He's happily married, Freya Monroe. We've never made a secret out of our relationship. Stop undressing him with your mind and stop eye fucking him right in front of me," I say, my pregnancy hormones giving me an excuse to say exactly what I've always wanted to say to her and every other little tart who looks at _my_ man like they're going to try and take him away from me. Her eyes fly to mine, her mouth hanging open. "He wants nothing to do with you. He's made that perfectly clear. He has never even given you a second look, a second thought. He. Loves. Me. Now we are going in here and we are going to make love so move along little girl. Ba-bye!" Her hands fly to her mouth as she gasps and tears gather in her eyes but I don't feel bad. She needed to hear every word of that, well maybe not the making love part but I've had enough. I wish I had met Olivia during my volatile first trimester then maybe I wouldn't have scars that remind me of her on a daily basis. Freya turns and flies around the corner, out onto the path.

"Tris," Tobias softly says, his tone slightly admonishing. "You didn't have to talk to her like that."

"I think I did," I say. "Sooner or later she was going to make a play for you, and it's my duty as your wife to set her straight. You're mine, Tobias Eaton. It was past time she heard it."

"Freya isn't Olivia," he says.

"I know but I thought it was about time she got the message loud and clear. I will not be toyed with, and I refuse to go through what the bitch put us through ever again. You. Are. Mine. No one else's."

"Damn straight I'm yours," he says, roughly pulling my body up against his. Heat radiates back at me from his gaze. "I like it when you get possessive. It's sexy as hell. Now, I think it's time we get naked."


	25. Chapter 25

Tobias nimbly unlocks his old apartment, never taking his eyes off mine, and pushes the door open with his fingertips. He motions me inside with a nod of his head and locks it behind us. The loud click echoes throughout the nearly empty space, making the desire already running through my body even more profound. Every time I cross that threshold, it feels like I'm walking straight into our past. We have so many wonderful memories in this tiny apartment, especially ones from the very early days of our relationship. I look towards the empty spot that used to house our couch, and I vividly remember when he told me he loved me for the first time. I was shocked and overjoyed at the same time. I couldn't believe the man I had grown to love more than life itself actually felt the exact same way about me.

I jump a little when Tobias comes up behind me and sweeps my hair over my right shoulder. He puts his lips on the exposed skin just beneath my left ear and presses wet, open-mouthed kisses along my sensitive neck, making me shudder. He unhurriedly glides his hands up my body and cup my tender breasts, playfully tweaking my already puckered nipples with the lightest of touches through my bra and fitted tee. He bites down on the spot where my neck and shoulder meet, although not too hard, and I moan, long and low. I can't help but love the feel of his mouth and hands on my sensitive skin. His lips move across my shoulder, pressing kisses as he goes then all the way up to my ear again. The ultrasound pictures slip from my fingers and float to the floor. _I'll get them later._

He draws my earlobe between his lips and sucks it gently at first but then gets more aggressive. _Oh, God, that feels_ so _good._ I swear I feel each pull of his lips shoot straight between my thighs. I turn in his arms and look up at him. His gaze bores into mine, and I see his pupils dilate further. My mouth drops open, and I dart my tongue out to wet my lips. I squirm a little then press my thighs together firmly, trying to tame the ache that has taken up residence in my sex. I want him. No, I _need_ him. Now! I practically launch myself at him, climbing him like a tree. He lifts me, and I tightly wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. Our mouths meet in a long overdue kiss. My heart thrums against my ribcage as our lips, tongues, and hands move together hungrily. He moves us across the room and very gently lies me on the bed.

After a few more minutes of frenzied kissing, I tug at his skin-tight black t-shirt, pulling it up his chiseled body. He breaks our kiss long enough for me to yank it off over his head and toss it onto the floor, then his lips are on mine again. The kiss is tamer this time but only marginally. He runs the velvety tip of his tongue along the seam of my swollen lips, and I open my mouth for him. He thrusts his tongue inside, gliding it along mine. He rolls us until I'm on top then my shirt joins his on the floor. I sit up, reach around behind me, unclasp my delicate black lace bra, and let it slide down my arms. He lets out a contented sigh as he tosses the lingerie away then he runs his hands from where they are resting on my hips up to cup my aching breasts. He rolls the sensitive peaks a little too roughly between his thumb and fingers and I wince.

"Not so hard, Tobias," I say. He sits up so we are nose to nose, gives me an apologetic look, then a soft, chaste kiss.

"I'm so sorry, love," he says. "I guess I got a little overzealous." He wraps his arms around my waist and moves his head to my breasts. He laps at one nipple, soothing the incessant throbbing with his hot, wet tongue and then the other, and I find myself rocking back and forth over the rock-hard bulge straining against the zipper of his jeans, wishing we didn't have so many layers between us. He lets out a low, deep growl, and I can't help my smile. I love so much that I can turn him on.

"Do you like that, baby?" I ask as I run my fingers though his hair, my voice steady but rough with desire.

"Yeah," he moans, kissing his way up my body. His lips hungrily land on mine, then he twists us until I'm lying beneath him once again. When he breaks the kiss, he stares down at me. "You're so beautiful." He glides the backs of his knuckles down the side of my face.

"You make me feel beautiful."

"I love you, Tris."

"I love you, Tobias." He lowers his lips to my neck. He runs his tongue down over my shoulder to my collarbone and traces the outline of my ravens then kisses each one slowly. He drags his lips to my aching chest and covers one nipple with his hot, wet mouth as he circles the other one with the calloused pad of his thumb. He gently sucks the peaked bud further into his wonderful mouth and laps at it with that talented tongue. He drags the nail of his thumb over my other nipple and I arch against him. They are so sensitive that the sensation is almost painful but not quite. "Careful." I sigh the warning. He immediately moves his mouth to lap at my other hardened peak. The ache in my nipples subsides then centralizes in my core. God, I need him inside me and soon.

I glide my fingertips up and down his back as he abandons my breasts and kisses his way to my tummy. He lingers at my abdomen, murmuring words of love to our twins. _Twins!_ He did the same thing with Teagan every time we made love. They aren't even close to being out of the womb and he already loves them just as much as he loves Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan. He's such a good daddy. I definitely did the right thing choosing him to be my children's father.

He leans back on his knees and puts his hands on the waistband of my comfortable yoga pants and slides them over my hips, down my legs, then off my body. He nibbles on the toes of my right foot and then my left, making me moan loudly. Until last weekend, I had no idea how good it felt to have him do that. He reaches up and lowers my lacy boy shorts then kisses his way up my legs.

"Do you want my tongue or my fingers, love?" he asks as he kisses my hip bones.

"Both," I moan.

"I love that my girl knows what she wants and isn't afraid to tell me," he mutters against my tummy. "It's sexy as hell."

"Get to it then," I say as I put my hand on the top of his head and push it toward my sex. I hear him chuckle right before he kisses the inside of my right thigh. He puts his hands on my knees and pushes my thighs further apart then drags his tongue to my slick folds. He kisses every inch of my exposed womanhood then teases me with his tongue. I grip the bed sheets with my fists when he thrusts a finger inside me.

"So wet," he murmurs. I start rocking my hips in time with his calculated thrusts, and when the very tip of his tongue runs up and over my throbbing bundle of nerves, all the air expels from my lungs with a hiss. He adds a second thick finger and increases his pace as he concentrates on my nubbin and I concentrate on breathing. He teases it with soft flicks of his tongue and then firm strokes. I arch my back, pushing his fingers deeper inside. My head tosses from side to side as the familiar pressure builds. He sucks on my nubbin then grips it firmly between his teeth and nibbles causing me to flail beneath him.

" _Oh, God, baby!_ " I moan. I fist both hands in his hair and keep him where I want him. His tongue speeds up and slows down then speeds up again as it goes in circles, straight lines, and zigzags while his fingers continually hit that magic spot inside me that makes my toes curl and my eyes roll back in my head. My whole body tenses as it climbs toward bliss then my release tears through me like a violent storm. I'll be surprised if my screams of pure pleasure don't summon the Dauntless guards. It has to sound like someone is being murdered to any passerby. " _Oh my, God, Tooobbbiiiaasss!"_ He carries me through the orgasm, never relenting with either his probing fingers or his relentless tongue until I collapse onto the mattress, spent. I feel like a spineless, boneless pile of goo as he kisses his way up my body. He covers my mouth with his and slides his tongue between my parted lips, mating it with mine. I feel him against my hip, hard and hot. After I came, a delightful exhaustion blanketed me but feeling his need has given me a second wind. "Inside me. Now."

"Hhm, I think I like you bossy," he says. I reach up and run my fingers through his hair.

"Make love to me, Tobias." I move my legs, opening myself further for him and his steely gaze softens.

"I love your sweet side, too," he says then he gives me a tender kiss, making love to my mouth with his tongue. He reaches between us and grasps his thick, hard length. He runs it through my moist folds then smacks its heavy head against my nubbin again and again, making me gasp.

"Quit teasing," I pout. I lift my hips and he slips inside me an inch or so. I moan at the feeling. Having him inside me is like … coming home. With a firm thrust of his hips, aided by how turned on I am, he slides into me fully in one steady drive. I clasp my arms around his neck and run my fingers up and down his back. Once I get used to his size and the stretching fullness, he begins to rock within me, slow and steady. He kisses my neck as we move our hips in a synchronized dance. I drag his lips to mine and kiss him greedily. When he pulls away, he stares down into my eyes, panting. We hold the intimate eye contact as he moves in and out of me at the same slow, measured pace. This is making love at its sweetest. He grasps one of my hands, laces our fingers together, and holds it tightly beside my head. I run my other hand down his back and cup his butt, trying to pull him as deep as he can go.

"I love you," he murmurs, our bodies moving perfectly as one.

"Love you, too." He lowers his lips to mine and kisses me passionately. His tongue swirls with mine as we increase the pace just a little. I feel the familiar pressure building. I run my free hand up and tangle it in his hair and wrap my legs around his waist. The change in the angle makes him go deeper, and I groan against his lips. My body begins to quake as my release overtakes me. I toss my head back, screaming his name in ecstasy as I clench around his hard length, squeezing him for all I'm worth. My orgasm sets off his and after a few powerful thrusts he empties himself into me with a low guttural moan then collapses on top of me. Tears prick the back of my eyelids as I gasp for breath, and I squeeze my eyes shut in an effort to quash them but a few escape anyway.

"What's wrong, love?" he asks. When I open my eyes he's hovering above me, his arms taut with exertion.

"I love you." I choke out another sob. _Damn hormones!_ He pulls out of me, rolls off me, and gathers me in his arms. He runs his fingers through my hair and down my shoulder and arm as he kisses me everywhere. Once the irrational tears stop, I look up at him.

"Feeling better?" he asks.

"Damn hormones," I mutter and he chuckles.

"Can I be honest, Tris?" he asks. His Four mask is in place but I swear I see fear in his eyes.

"I always want you to be honest with me no matter what," I say, worried about what he has to tell me.

"I didn't miss the hormones," he says. I smile up at him.

"Me neither. I hate how up and down I feel."

"I promise to do my part in making you feel better and always put the toilet seat down." I laugh and he looks relieved.

"If that had been in your wedding vows then maybe I would believe you." I giggle which turns into full guffaws, and he belly laughs alongside me. After our laughter dies down, we're quiet.

"What's on your mind, Mrs. Eaton?" he asks.

"You, Mr. Eaton."

"Me?"

"I was just thinking about all the happy times we've had in this apartment," I murmur.

"Do you remember smearing chocolate frosting on each other?" he asks with a deep rumbling laugh. "I don't think you realized it then but you made me so damn hard when you licked it off my cheek." I think back to that moment, how he was holding his body away from mine.

"No, I didn't know that." I feel heat flood my cheeks, although I don't know what I'm embarrassed about.

"I didn't want to scare you," he says. "Things were so new for the both of us. Neither of us were ready to have sex but I had a hard time telling my body that."

"That's the first night we slept together," I say, "in the same bed."

"I was shocked when you asked me to get in bed with you," he mutters,

"I didn't want you sleeping clear across the room anymore," I murmur. "I wanted you to hold me."

"It was a night I'll never forget," he says. "I already knew you snored but that's the night I learned how you felt in my arms."

"I don't snore!" I exclaim, making him laugh. "You snore."

"Only when you wear me out," he says. "We should get going."

"I don't want to," I say, pouting a little. "I want to keep lying here in your arms like this … no worries, no distractions, no cares."

"The kids?" he whispers in my ear.

"I miss them … I do," I say, "but I'm not ready to be Mommy just quite yet. I'm too busy enjoying being Tris."

"Me too," he says. He snakes his free hand down and splays it across my belly. "Should we tell the kids the news?"

"Do you really think they can keep it secret?" I ask. "Remember when Zeke tried to get Tyler to tell him the details of what was supposed to be his surprise birthday party? Who knew Zeke could be so ruthless questioning a 3 year old."

"I forgot about that. Poor Tyler had no idea what Zeke was talking about," he says with a laugh. "Probably best not to tell the kids until we're ready to tell everyone. Don't want Zeke torturing them for information if he suspects anything." He leisurely glides his hand from my tummy up to cup one breast. "You're bigger and I missed it again."

"They aren't bigger," I say as I move his hand away and look at my chest.

"Who has their hands on these more, me or you?" he asks as he replaces his hand and starts massaging the mound gently. It's more comforting than arousing.

"You have a point," I murmur.

"I thought I knew your body like the back of my hand but your breasts are bigger, your nipples are darker, and your tummy isn't as flat as it was."

"Even though we heard their heartbeats, it's still unbelievable," I say. "I'm wondering how I didn't figure it out. I'm over two months pregnant, Tobias. I should have noticed."

"I bet that if the whole thing with Olivia trying to get released from the hospital, the abuse rumors, and Hector's odd behavior hadn't happened, we both would have noticed," he says. "Shall we take a shower then head toward Abnegation?"

"Okay," I say. He quickly rolls off the bed and gets to his feet before I even move. He holds his hands out to me then pulls me straight into his arms. He kisses me softly then leads me into the small bathroom. "Are you sure we're both going to fit?" He opens the shower door and turns on the water, getting it to the desired temperature.

"It'll be fine," he says. "I like when you're close." I step into the frosted glass shower enclosure, and he steps in right after me. I barely have enough space to turn around. When I look up at him, I'm surprised to see something close to panic on his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," he says, his voice rough. I run my hands through my hair and grab my coconut shampoo out of the corner. We keep extra toiletries here for moments like this. I keep my eyes on Tobias while I work my fingers through my hair. He looks like he's trying hard not to have a panic attack. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks, he hates enclosed spaces. I rinse the lather out of my hair then turn my full attention to him.

"Breathe, baby," I say. His eyes meet mine, and they are raw with fear. Damn Marcus Eaton. I didn't think it was possible for me to hate him any more than I already did but in this moment, I do. "It's just a shower. I can step out if you would like." He shakes his head but doesn't try to speak. "May I wash your hair?" He nods. I pour some shampoo into the palm of my hand then carefully stand on my tiptoes and work the shampoo into a lather. I feel his eyes on me as I gently massage his scalp. "Rinse." We maneuver until he's under the steady spray of water and rinses his hair. I condition his tresses and pick up the coconut-scented body wash while he rinses then I run my hands over his broad shoulders. "Keep breathing, my love. We're almost done." I wash every inch of his body leaving the intimate parts for last. When I take him in my hand, he instantly starts to get hard. I wasn't expecting this but it's a nice surprise. My eyes flick up to his and my hands stall. His gaze nearly sets me on fire. The fear has been replaced with a predatory passion.

His mouth crashes into mine, and he devours me with a hungry need. Our hands travel restlessly over each other's body as our tongues duel for dominance. He presses me against the tile wall, and I gasp at how cold the smooth surface feels against the back of the length of my body. He runs his fingers through my moist heat and finds my throbbing nubbin. He teases it with the pad of his fingers then growls against my throat. He picks me up, and I wrap myself around him. I cry out as he buries himself inside me fully with one driving thrust then delves even deeper with each subsequent push. He pounds into me as his tongue penetrates my mouth with the same punishing rhythm. It was wonderful earlier, slow and steady, but it's just as breathtaking now, fast and furious. His fingers tighten on my backside where he's moving me over his hard length. There's bound to be new bruises because he's getting really rough. I lean back and rest my head on the tile as he continues thrusting away inside me. Just as his stride changes and his thrusts become shorter and even more frantic, my insides start to quiver around him. I feel an explosion of epic proportion building where our bodies are joined.

"Come for me, love," Tobias spits through gritted teeth and I tumble over an edge I hadn't realized I was hanging on to. He swallows my cries of pleasure and kisses me roughly as he follows me over, releasing his seed deep inside me. Once we are still, we pant mingled air.

"That was an unexpected surprise," I murmur against his ear.

"I was thinking, if I took you into my fear landscape and we had sex in that shrinking box, I'd probably get over that fear," he says as he pulls back and looks at me.

"Would I have to call you Three then?" I giggle, wanting to lighten the mood.

"God, I love that sound," he murmurs before he kisses me softly.

"I'm sorry you got … stressed in here with me," I say.

"It's not your fault," he says. "This has to be the world's tiniest bathroom."

"It is, isn't it?" I say. "I get why you never closed the door fully."

"What?" His brows furrow as he slips out of me then carefully lowers me to my feet.

"You didn't know you left the door ajar?" I ask.

"No, I didn't," he says.

"This room's not much bigger than a…" I let the words trail off, kicking myself for putting the image of an Abnegation closet in is head, especially after we just made love. _Stupid stupid!_

"There will always be some measure of fear over what _he_ did to me as a child," Tobias says. "But you just helped me get some closure. Now if I'm in a tight spot I can just close my eyes and remember being inside you."

"Happy I could help," I murmur against his lips. I release him when we need to breathe. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says. "We better get to your parent's house before they decide to either keep the kids or give them away."

"I'm sure they'd keep them," I say as I run the body-wash-filled poof over Tobias' back. "They love them too much."

"You're right about that," he chuckles. We both rinse off then he shuts the water off. He reaches out into the cool air of the tiny bathroom and grabs two big fluffy towels. He hands me one then steps out of the enclosure to dry off. I step out after him and watch him run a dry towel through his hair as I run mine over my body. He turns and smiles before he wraps my hair in his towel and squeezes all the excess moisture out of it. After running a wide-tooth comb through my locks, we quickly get dressed then I gather up the ultrasound pictures I dropped earlier, and he picks my prescriptions up off the counter.

"Are you ready?" I ask.

"I am," he says. He takes my hand then adds, "Let's go get the kids."


	26. Chapter 26

"So, what do you guys want for supper?" Tobias asks the kids as we leisurely drive back to Dauntless. They spent most of the day playing at the park with my parents where they had a picnic lunch under the sweeping oaks. They had just returned to Abnegation when we got there to pick them up and hadn't had a chance to have supper yet. Mom asked if we wanted to stay but I politely declined. I'm exhausted from the day's activities and the adrenaline spike of our unexpected but happy news wearing off.

"Mac and cheese," Tyler matter-of-factly says as Tessa excitedly says, "meatwoaf," and Teagan pleads, "poni pitsa _peas_."

"Looks like we're eating in the cafeteria tonight," I chuckle. I don't know why I thought they would all want the same thing. They very rarely do.

"We could get takeout and head home," Tobias hesitantly says.

"No," I say. "It feels like we've been hiding out since the rumors started. We need to get out, show everyone that we're fine."

"You're right, love," he says as he lifts our joined hands to his lips.

"So, who wants to tell me what you did today?" I ask. Three eager hands shoot up into the air, and they all chant me, me, me. "Tyler?"

"Grandma made baked oatmeal with raisins and cimmanin. It was _so_ good. I had two whole plates. I wanted more but she telled me I don't need anymore. I was good and didn't argue but I needed more," he states so matter-of-factly. I disguise my laugh with a cough. I remember her baked oatmeal. Until I had Dauntless cake, it was the best thing I had ever tasted. It took me years to realize she only made it on special occasions but my kids get it on a nondescript Sunday. _It's hard not to be a touch jealous._ I immediately scold myself for the erroneous thought. I won't allow myself to resent my Mom and Dad for spending time with their grandchildren.

"Mm. I remember Grandma's special oatmeal," I say. "She would put dried cranberries in it at Christmas."

"Can you make it for us sometime?" Tyler asks.

"Sure! I'll get the recipe and make it on special occasions just like she did when I was growing up." All three cheers at that. "What about you, Tessa? What do you remember most about your visit with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"We goed to pawk," she says. "I swing an' slided an' wunned with Teags and Ty. Gamma even slided. It fun." I'm not sure I can imagine my mom on the slides. That would have been fun to watch.

"What about you, Teags?" I ask. Baby girl almost slips from my lips and an odd feeling twists my tummy. She's not going to be my baby anymore. I don't know why that makes me sad but it does. "Did you have fun?"

"Yep!" She launches into a tale that's very hard to follow but I think the gist of it is that my dad read them a storybook before bedtime or let them rewrite the laws of the city, one or the other.

"Was it a good book?" I ask.

"Mm-hm," she says. "It 'bout a bunny."

"Benny the bunny," Tyler says, helping her. "It was funny. It was about a bunny who kept losing his tail." They all giggle excitedly, and a faint recollection tickles the edge of my memory.

"I think Grandpa used to read it to me when I was a little girl," I say as Tobias turns into Dauntless' garage. "Was his tail on the top of a little girl's hat once?"

"Yeah!" Teags excitedly answers. "It so funny."

"It is funny," I say thankful for the sacred returned memory.

After Tobias pulls into our normal parking space, we let three overexcited, rambunctious kids out of the backseat. As I close the door, I see movement out of the corner of my eye or at least I think I do. I stare at the long line of dark-colored vehicles available for member use but I don't see anything or anyone.

"Is something wrong, love?" Tobias asks. He's lifted Teagan off the ground and set her on his shoulders. I notice Tessa looking at me expectantly, and she holds her arms out to me.

"Nothing's wrong," I say as I lift my oldest daughter into my arms. One day, probably sooner than later, I won't be able to do this so I'll take advantage of her snuggles for as long as I can.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his suspicious eyes scanning the area I was just studying.

"I'm positive," I say, convinced that I imagined the whole thing. The garage still holds many unwelcome memories for me and, to this day, I'm not completely comfortable setting foot into this space even with my burly husband beside me. "Come on, buddy. Let's go." He walks between us out onto the path then impatiently runs ahead.

"Tyler!" Tobias and I call out at the same time. He stops and looks at us.

"Get back here," I say. He frowns but comes running back.

"I'm hungry," he whines.

"I'm sure you are but don't run away from us," Tobias sternly says. "We don't want you to get hurt. We'll get to the cafeteria soon and you can eat then."

"Okay," he mumbles, hanging his head.

"Don't be grumpy, buddy," I say. "We're just looking out for you."

"I'm sorry, Mommy," he says as he looks up at me. I immediately recognize the look in his eyes. He's tired. He must have run himself ragged at the park. We'll be lucky to get him back to the apartment tonight before he falls asleep.

"You're tired," I say. "I get it but please stay with us."

"I not tired," he forcefully says, an indignant expression on his face.

"Mm-hm," I murmur, shaking my head as he stomps a couple feet in front of us but he doesn't go any further. I look up at Tobias and see he's fighting the urge to laugh just as much as I am but we can't show how amusing we find him at the moment.

An infuriating hush falls over the cafeteria when we walk into the room. Thankfully, the kids don't seem to notice. Tyler takes off like a shot to our table, probably enticed by the thought of chocolate cake with Uncle Uriah. Tessa starts struggling in my arms obviously wanting down. I set her on her feet just as Tobias does the same with Teags, and they both run after their brother. I take Tobias' hand and lead him toward our friends. I glance around me, and I'm surprised to see the cafeteria still so full at this time of night. Maybe it's usual, maybe it's not. It's been ages since we've come down for a Sunday night meal. We almost always exclusively make a big home cooked meal but it's nice to change things up once in a while. By the time we make it to our table the chatter in the cafeteria has resumed almost to a deafening level. Every few steps I swear I hear people gossiping about us but I'm probably just being paranoid.

"This is a nice surprise," Christina says as I sit down beside her. Teags squeezed between her and Will to sit with Liam and Tessa is sitting with Avery and Callen.

"The kids all wanted something different so we decided to have supper here instead of listening to two of them whine all night," I say. She chuckles.

"I'll go get the kids' plates," Tobias says.

"I'll come with you. Tyler, you still want mac and cheese?"

"Yep," he says, licking his lips as he stares at Uriah's cake. "Can I have cake, too?"

"Yes," I say, "but just a small slice. What about you, Tessa? Still want meatloaf?" She shakes her head. "Well what do you want then?"

"Cake."

"Me, too," Teags chimes in.

"You both can have cake for dessert but you have to eat supper first," Tobias says. "So, meatloaf, Tessa?"

"Mm-hm," she says with a big grin.

"Poni pitsa peas," Teags singsongs.

"Okay. Pepperoni pizza for you," I say. "We'll be right back." Tobias and I walk hand-in-hand to the nearly empty food line and get the kids' plates then deliver them before going back to get our own suppers.

"Doesn't anything look good?" he asks as he watches me stare at the long line of food.

"The exact opposite actually," I say. "I'm starving and it all looks good. We obviously worked off that salad I had for lunch." He leans in close.

"You're eating for three now," he whispers then kisses my temple. "You eat as much as you want."

"I haven't been very hungry lately and too nauseous," I say. "It seems odd that I'm famished tonight. I hope I don't get sick." I fill my plate with baked chicken smothered in a rich smoky barbeque sauce, coleslaw, baked beans with bacon, and a gelatin salad with tapioca and mandarin oranges, and he gets a nearly identical one except he adds a scoop of potato salad to his.

"Here, let me carry that for you," Tobias says as he takes my plate from me.

"You know I could carry that, right?" I say.

"Just helping," he says. I smile warmly at my loving husband. It feels so good to be in synch once again. I lean over and kiss his shoulder. "What was that for?"

"For always taking good care of me," I softly say. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says as he drops a tender kiss on top of my head. I hear someone scoff as we make our way past a random table. I'm sure Tobias hears it, too, because his entire body stiffens beside me. _That's it! I've had enough!_ This ends here and now. I turn and tromp to the center of the room and climb up onto the middle of the nearest table, stepping over cups and plates, both empty and full, startling its occupants. The room goes instantly quiet as all eyes land on me.

"I have something to say and you're all going to listen," I shout. I turn a slow circle making eye contact with as many people as I can until my eyes finally fall on Tobias'. I'm not surprised to see his mask staring back at me. It's important I speak to him first. "I am _so_ sorry for not doing a damn thing to stop the cruel rumors going around the compound about you. You deserve so much better than the treatment you've received lately not only from our faction but from me, too." He starts to object, but I shake my head and he stops. "I know you didn't really want me to do this but I can't stand by for one more second and let your good reputation tarnish further because of one silly bruise. I just can't do it. I hope you can forgive me." I take a deep breath and make yet another slow rotation. Half the room is focused on me and the other half on Tobias who is standing where I left him with our plates in his hands, frozen.

"I'd like to stand before all of you tonight and say that the rumors you've heard circulating this past week are 100% false but I can't. There is one detail I can't refute. I. Had. A. Bruise. Unfortunately, someone saw it and instead of asking _me_ about it, they decided to gossip and that gossip turned into unspeakable rumors about my husband being an abuser. Let me set the record straight right here and right now. My husband has never, _not_ _once_ , lifted a finger against me in anger. He has never beat me. He has never hit me. He has never hurt me. He has never abused me, physically or emotionally. Is our marriage perfect? No, it's not but I challenge anyone in this faction, in this _city_ to show me a perfect relationship." I look around but am only met by silence. "None of you can because it's mythical, it doesn't exist.

"And not that it's anyone's business but mine and my husband's but after finding additional bruising, I was diagnosed with a medical condition." I lift my pant leg and show them a nasty bluish-black amoeba-looking spot on my shin. "I barely tapped my leg against my bedframe two days ago and this is what it looks like now." I let my pant leg fall back into place and stand tall once again.

"The sad part of all this is that I shouldn't have to justify _my_ life to any of you but I will not tolerate the disrespect you've shown my husband and in turn _me_ this past week. We don't deserve it after everything we've done to help this faction, to help this city. You should all be ashamed of yourselves." I step down off the table and head to Tobias. "Do you want to go home?"

"No," he says. "I'd like to sit down with our friends and eat supper."

"Are you sure?" He steps close and places his mouth against my ear.

"What I'd _really_ like to do is rip your clothes off and take you right here in front of everyone," he murmurs so no one else can hear and I laugh nervously. I know I must be bright red. "That was one of the sexiest things you've ever done."

"You think?"

"I know."

"Later then, baby," I whisper then give him a tender kiss.

"We get it, we get it!" Zeke jovially teases for all to hear. "You love each other. You don't have to make out in front of us. Oh! Your kids don't like it either." I turn and see all three of them with their hands over their eyes. "Smart kids!" Zeke covers his eyes, too. Laughter cuts through the awkward silence. I shake my head and roll my eyes then follow Tobias to our table. Within a minute my interruption is forgotten, at least for the time being, and chatter echoes around the space once again.

"Thanks, Zeke," I softly say. I take my plate from Tobias after I sit down and he slides in beside me.

"No problem," he says.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Tyler asks, his eyes wide. I glance at Tessa and she's wearing a similar face. Thankfully, Teags is more concerned with what Liam is doing at the moment to worry about my outburst.

"I'm fine now," I say. "It's been a very long week and I got frustrated with some people but I feel much better now."

"You sure?" he asks.

"I'm sure, buddy," I say. "Please don't worry about me."

"Okay," he says. He turns his attention back to his nearly empty plate and I look at my little one. She's frowning big time.

"Are you okay, Tessa?" I ask. She shakes her little head, looking like she's on the verge of tears. "You want to sit with me?"

"Yeah," she mumbles.

"Well, come here." She climbs down off of Avery's lap and runs around the table. I lift her into my arms and hug her tightly. "Is that better?" She nods against my chest then yawns widely. "Do you want the rest of your food?"

"I full," she says.

"Okay." I'm surprised she's not asking for cake.

"What you did took real guts, Tris," Avery says. I flush slightly as my friends all nod in agreement.

"We all knew you were strong but you showed a special kind of strength just now," Ana says. "No one's going to mess with you or Four anymore."

I start to say I didn't do what I did because I was being strong. I did it because I was really pissed off but instead I ask, "You think?"

"Definitely," Tobias says. "I'm proud of you, and you were right. That should have been said the minute the rumors got out of hand."

"You all heard that," I say, looking up and down the table. "You're all my witnesses. He just told me I was right!" We all laugh heartily as I try to lighten the heavy mood that's blanketed the table.

"The rumors should die down now," he says.

"They _should_ have died down by themselves," I say. "I'm still worried about why they didn't." I push my now empty plate away. I'm surprised I didn't inhale it, too.

"You think someone in particular is maliciously spreading the rumors?" Christina asks. "Why would they do that?" _Why indeed._ I look at Tobias and he nearly imperceptibly shakes his head. I doubt anyone else notices it.

"It's just speculation," I say. "We don't know why this happened."

"Can I have cake?" Tessa asks.

"Me, too!" Teags and Tyler say at the same time.

"I'll get it," Tobias says.

"So, what did the doctor say is causing the bruising?" Christina asks.

"Anemia," I say. Tobias brings two huge slices of cake back to the table. He cuts one into three equal slices and divvies them up between the kids then hands me a fork so we can share the other slice.

"Thanks!" Tyler says. Tessa and Teags both say, "Tanks, Dadda." They all heartily dig in.

"Anemia, huh? I had that when I was pregnant," Christina says. I immediately choke on the bite of cake I just took.

"Ugh! Went down the wrong pipe." I sputter and cough trying to clear my partially blocked airway. Finally, a small granule of chocolate cake flies out of my mouth and lands on Brody's shirt letting me breathe again. He knocks it off with a flick of the wrist.

"Are you all right, love?" Tobias asks as he pats my back.

"Mama, otay?" Tessa asks, her eyes wide with worry. Tyler and Teags are both staring at me as well.

"I'm fine. I promise," I say to all of them, still coughing. "I just sucked in some cake instead of chewing it. That was very silly of me." I look towards my best friend and she narrows her eyes at me. It's like she knows. "Zander gave me iron supplements. I have to go back next Monday to see if my levels are any better."

"Mm-hm," she says. She's obviously suspicious by the inconvenient timing of my choking. "Did he give you a reason for it?"

"He told me there were hundreds of causes of anemia. Apparently, I'm iron deficient. That's really all I know." I hold her stare, not backing down. I have to get her to back down. We're definitely not ready to announce our news just yet.

"Well, I hope it helps," she says.

"Hey, did you guys have fun after we left last night?" Tobias asks, rescuing me from Christina's interrogation. "What else happened?"

"We played a couple more rounds but no one was really in the mood anymore," Shauna says. "My idiot little brother kind of took the wind out of our sails. It just wasn't fun after his outburst."

"Did he give an explanation after we left?" I ask. "Why is he acting this way?"

"He wouldn't talk to us," Lynn says and Shauna agrees with her.

"I tried to talk to him, too, but he looks at Ana and me as outsiders," Brody says. "I thought your plan of having him train with the transfers was working. He fought it at first but after a few days he started showing great improvement but now he's back to sullen, distant, and resistant."

"I'm worried about him," Shauna sighs. "I know to you guys he's just a major pain in the ass but he's my baby brother and he's not acting like himself. At. All."

"I'll talk to him tomorrow," Tobias says.

"Are you sure that's wise?" Lynn asks.

"He has to answer for his behavior," I say.

"Oh, I know he does. That's not what I meant," she says. "I don't know why his attitude has changed all of a sudden but it seems like he's taking his aggression out on you two. Maybe it would be best to let James or Will take care of it."

"The well-being of this faction and all its members, initiates, and dependents ultimately falls on my shoulders," Tobias says. "Sometimes it's a heavy weight to bear. Something is obviously troubling him, and I intend to get to the bottom of it before he does something drastic enough to get himself kicked out or worse."

"You're right," she says.

I gently caress Tessa's hair as I listen to the conversation shift to a new topic and then another. Teags makes her way to Tobias and within minutes I realize both our girls are fast asleep. Tobias motions to Tyler, and I see his head swaying, his eyes half closed.

"Looks like we need to get three sleepy kids home," he says.

"I not tired," Tyler says but his eyes are betraying him.

"Can you manage the girls and I'll get Tyler?" I ask. He looks like he wants to argue with me but doesn't. He just gives me a concerned look. I know what he's thinking because the same thought crosses my mind. _Should I be lifting him?_ "I'll be fine." We get to our feet and after he shifts Teags into one arm I carefully put Tessa in the other. Thankfully neither of them wake up. I walk to the other side of the table and reach for Tyler. "Come on, buddy." The minute I lift him into my arms he lays his head on my shoulder and closes his eyes.

"They played hard at the park today," Tobias tells our friends then we say our goodbyes.

The moment we step onto the busy Pit floor, I can tell there's a big difference in the tone of the crowd. People are still taking a special interest in us but I'm not seeing as many hateful glares aimed at my husband. Now they're mostly curious glances. I'm hopeful that the rumors will die down over the next day or two and life can get back to normal.

"Are you okay?" Tobias quietly asks when we're halfway up the path.

"Yeah," I say.

"Isn't he getting too heavy for you to carry?"

"I will carry him for as long as I can," I say. I firm my grip up on Tyler and kiss his forehead.

"Maybe we should switch," he says.

"How without waking them all?"

"You've got a point," he murmurs. "It was easier when they were littler."

"What's it going to be like when there's two more?" I say after I make sure no one is within hearing distance.

"I don't know," he says. "Two double strollers and never let Tyler fall asleep in public ever again. You probably shouldn't carry him anymore."

"I know you're right," I say. "I'll do my best not to in the future but I can't make any promises, especially if he needs me."

"I understand."

"He's growing up so fast," I say, sadness thick in my voice. "Is it wrong for me to want him to be my little boy forever?"

"No. That's how I feel about all three of them," he says. "There have been so many times I wish we could just stop the clock or rewind it for just a little bit."

"I know what you mean."

We continue softly talking as we wind our way back up to our apartment. I fish the keys out of Tobias' front pocket since I never thought to take mine when we hurriedly left this afternoon. I easily unlock our front door and tuck the keys back in his pocket. We waste no time taking the kids upstairs. I go into Tyler's room and change him into his PJs without waking him then tuck him in.

"Goodnight, my sweet boy," I quietly say as I kiss his forehead. "I love you to the moon and back." I flip the switch on his nightlight then head to the nursery. Teagan starts crying just as I walk into the room.

"Can you get her?" Tobias whispers as he's changing Tessa into a training diaper and her PJs. I pick Teags up out of her crib and sit down in the rocking chair. I lie her across my body with her head resting on my chest like I used to do when I nursed her. She opens her eyes and looks up at me.

"Mama," she whines. I run my fingers softly over her face.

"You go back to sleep, baby girl," I murmur as I gently rock her. "Mommy's got you." A small smile turns up her lips as she closes her eyes. I continue stroking her face and hair until Tobias has Tessa tucked in her crib.

"Do you want me to take her?" he asks.

"No. I'll rock her for a little while longer then get her ready for bed," I say. "I'll meet you downstairs." He leans over and presses his lips to mine.

"Take your time, love." I watch as he exits the room and I can't help but smile. I love that man with all my heart. I look down at Teags and the look on her face reminds me of Tobias. She may look almost exactly like me but she's taking on more and more of his mannerisms. I'm used to seeing a Tobias smile on either Tyler or Tessa's face but it's still strange to see one on Teags. I wonder if the new babies will have his smile, too. _Twins!_ I still can't believe this is happening. It feels like a strange but wonderful dream.

After I'm convinced that moving Teags won't wake her, I get up and lie her on the changing table. I take her out of her clothes and put her in a training diaper and PJs. I carefully put her in the middle of the crib then step back. We're definitely going to have to set up their room now. I hope it won't be too soon for her. I kiss her head then Tessa's then seek out Tobias. He's lounging on the couch staring off into space.

"Something on your mind?" I ask.

"Not really," he says as he shakes his head. "Just relaxing."

"How about some music?" I ask.

"That sounds nice," he says. I turn the stereo on to a soothing station and set the volume to low. When I turn back around he's holding his hand out to me. "Sit with me, love." He's got one leg stretched out across the couch and the other sitting on the floor. I move around the coffee table and he pulls me down to sit in front of him, my back to his front. I prop my feet up next to his, and his arms automatically encircle me.

"This is nice," I sigh.

"It is," he says, nuzzling my neck. "We haven't taken the time to just lounge around for a long time."

"We have three kids," I murmur. "We usually don't have five extra free minutes to just sit together and do absolutely nothing."

"You got that right."

"Baby, what's it going to be like when there are five of them?" I ask, a seed of anxiety roots in my chest. "We're already outnumbered."

"We'll deal with it," he says. "Remember when we didn't think we could handle three of them at once when Teagan was born? We learned and I think we do all right now."

"How did we not know? I've been a mess for weeks now," I admit. "I should have known."

"The IUD gave us a false sense of security," he says.

"I guess you're right," I sigh.

"I'm always right." His sultry voice against my ear makes me shudder. He slowly glides a hand up and palms one cotton-covered breast.

"Baby, as much as I would love to, I'm exhausted," I say, covering his hand with mine. I lace our fingers together and drag it away. I feel a low groan reverberate against my neck and then an open mouth kiss.

"That's all right, love," he says. "We'll just sit here like this." We quietly talk, lightly laugh, softly kiss, and relish being in each other's arms. One minute I'm thoroughly enjoying our uninterrupted, relaxing evening together and the next I feel myself being moved. I open my eyes just as Tobias lifts me into his arms. I sigh against his neck as we ascend the stairs.

"Let's get you into bed." He carries me into our bedroom and gently lies me down on the mattress.

"Did I fall asleep?" I groggily ask, confused.

"You sure did," he says. After a soft kiss, he pulls the sheet up to cover my body then turns to walk away.

"Where are you going?"

"I have a couple hours of work to do."

"Stay. Please," I plead. "Work can wait until tomorrow."

"It's important, Tris," he says. "We're under a tight deadline on the new building. There are still dozens of decisions to make. I won't make anyone else factionless without cause." He hates the old rules about aging Dauntless as much as I do.

"Can you at least stay with me until I fall asleep?" I ask. "I don't sleep well without you here. I want your arms around me."

"I can't say no to you," he murmurs. He walks to his side of the bed and after taking his shirt off, he slips between the cool sheets. I immediately snuggle close to his body, resting my head on his bare chest as he puts his arm around me.

"Thank you," I say with a content sigh. "I love you so much, Tobias."

"I love you, too, Tris," he says, his lips brushing my forehead. "Goodnight, love."

"'Night, baby," I murmur, sleep already capturing me.


	27. Chapter 27

I roll over, reach my arm out and, unfortunately, hit cold, empty sheets instead of my warm husband. I raise my head and see that it's just before 3 a.m., and I can't help but wonder where Tobias is. I was wanting to snuggle. Before I search for my missing husband I need to take care of some urgent business. I slowly roll out of bed and shuffle to the bathroom. I bump into the doorway and momentarily wonder if there will be another bruise later. I rub the spot on my hip in an effort to ease the sting but it doesn't really help. When the throbbing subsides, I lower my sleep shorts and yawn as I sit down on the toilet and plunge straight into freezing water. I bounce right back up and, frustrated, I scream … at the top of my lungs. I don't know where Tobias was but mere seconds later he comes running through the door. He hits the switch on the wall, and I blink back against the assault of soft white light now flooding the room. Once I can see, I fix an exasperated glare on him and notice that he's white as a sheet.

"What's wrong, love?" he anxiously asks, panting forcefully. He's franticly looking around, his eyes wide with fear and confusion.

"I just sat _in_ the freaking toilet, Tobias!" I say as I point at the porcelain offender, the seat up, laughing at me. "If I wasn't awake before I sure as hell am now." He closes his beautiful eyes, sucks in a deep breath, then looks back at me, this time irritated.

"You scared the hell out of me. I thought something was really wrong." I cross my arms over my chest, narrow my eyes, and impatiently tap my foot.

"You think your wife falling into freezing water in the middle of the night is no big deal?" Each word gets louder until I'm nearly shrieking at him. I don't know if I'm about to bawl or blow my top. Remorse immediately changes his features, and he holds both hands out in front of him like he's approaching a wounded, wild animal. He pulls me into his arms and wraps me in his loving embrace. I lock my fingers at the small of his back and hug him fiercely. "I'm sorry I scared you," I mutter with a groan. I know I probably overreacted but there's something about sitting _in_ the toilet that secretly makes me want to dump toilet water on his head in the middle of the night while he's sleeping. I release him and pull my shorts back up. Apparently, the cold water scared my bladder and I no longer have to pee. "But seriously, baby, how _freaking_ hard is it to put the damn toilet seat down? I don't think I'm asking too much here. If I am, tell me, okay?" He hangs his head.

"No. You're absolutely right. I know how much it upsets you, and I shouldn't be the one causing you extra stress, especially now," he says. "I always try my best to take care of you but constantly disregarding your wishes when it comes to this one issue isn't helpful. I'm truly sorry, Tris. I honestly don't know why I keep doing it."

"I'm sorry if I'm a bitch. I don't mean to harp but it's frustrating."

"Hey, you are not a bitch," he forcefully says. "I don't want to hear you speak that way about yourself."

"Button and Bean are making me twice as moody as I usually am," I mutter, pouting. I squeeze my eyes shut in an effort to keep the unwelcome, irrational tears that are forming at bay **.** _I'm a frickin' mess._

"I can't say I've missed your mood swings," he says.

"I know. I haven't missed them either," I say. "The worst part is, I know I'm being completely irrational but I literally can't help myself. It's like I've totally lost control of my mouth, and we have seven to eight more months of this to look forward to … at least." He reaches out and cups my face between his strong hands.

"The second trimester will be here before we know it, and your hormones will level out." He leans down and gives me a tender kiss. I groan when he pulls away.

"I hope so." I worry my bottom lip between my teeth as I think about that. He reaches up and frees it.

"What's on your mind, love?"

"We don't know how different this pregnancy is going to be from the first one," I say.

"You're right, we don't. We'll just have to adapt."

"So, you're all right with me jumping down your throat every time you leave the toilet seat up?"

"I guess I'll have to be unless I can figure out a way to remember to put the damn thing down," he says. "I don't want you planning my death again. I have to admit that scared me a little last time."

"This time I've been thinking about dumping toilet water on your head while you're sleeping." I grin up at him and he shakes his head but he can't hide his amusement. I wonder how amusing he would find it if I followed through on my threat?

"I love you," he says, "but I would appreciate it if you _never_ did that."

"We'll see."

"Let's go to bed," he says. He puts his hand on the small of my back and tries to steer me toward our bedroom.

"You go. I have to take a quick shower." He looks at me, perplexed. "I need to get the toilet water off my butt, thank you very much."

"I'll join you," he says as he whips his shirt off over his head. I just now notice that he's still dressed.

"You don't have to do that," I say as I take my pajamas off. "Where have you been?"

"I want to, and I told you I had work to do," he says as he drops his t-shirt in the hamper and moves to take off his pants.

"Baby, it's 3 in the morning," I say. "Is work really that important?"

"Yes, actually it is," he says. "I'll admit, though, that I got on a roll and lost track of time." I gather my hair on the top of my head and secure it with a clip. I step into the shower with Tobias right behind me and turn on only the body jets, not wanting to get my hair wet. I find the perfect temperature and pick up my body wash.

"Would you like to do the honors, baby?" I ask.

"I would love to." He givens me a tender kiss then takes the bottle from me and pours a small amount of the delicious-smelling liquid soap into the palm of his hand. "Turn around, love," he murmurs and I immediately do as he asks, being mindful of my steps. After creating a thick, rich, moisturizing lather, he rests his hands on my shoulders and gently starts to massage the soap into my skin, loosening my tight muscles. I didn't even know I was tense. I let my head hang forward with a sigh as he unhurriedly works his way down my back, the calloused pads of his fingertips gently kneading the flesh. He tenderly runs his big hands over the taut flesh of my behind and gives me a playful little squeeze. I can't help the moan of desire that slips from my parted lips. He unexpectedly slides his fingers between my cheeks and over my puckered hole with a light pressure causing me to tense back up and my heart to hammer. He's never touched me there before. "Have you ever thought of having me here?" His voice is soft and smooth like silk up against my ear. Holy shit! _Is he asking me what I think he is?_

"Um," I squeak, my voice betraying my nervousness. He moves his hands and slowly turns me so the cascading water can rinse my back. He raises one hand to gently tilt my chin up, and he searches my eyes for a long moment.

"I scared you," he states. "That certainly wasn't my intension. I'm sorry."

"I'm not scared … just," I search my brain for exactly how I'm feeling, " _surprised_. Is this something you would like?"

"I guess I'm just…" His voice trails off as his cheeks flood with color.

"Curious?" I whisper, barely louder than the shower, finishing his thought. He nods.

"I'll be honest, love, I am curious. Is that something you might be interested in?" I drop my eyes, shying away from his intense, penetrating gaze.

"I don't know," I whisper.

"Have you ever thought about it?" I don't know if I'm cherry red or deathly pale right now but this is one conversation I never dreamed we would have. I open my mouth to answer him but I quickly realize I don't know what to say, and I close it. I try again but the same thing happens. I imagine I look something like a fish out of water searching for air. "Never mind, love." He caresses my face and runs his fingers into my hair. My eyes dart up to his, and I swear I see disappointment but he would never admit to it. "Forget I said anything. Let's just go back to bed. Morning will be here before we know it."

I don't say anything as he shuts off the water. I want to talk to him but my mind is too busy spinning a million miles an hour to think straight let alone make any coherent sense. He retrieves a couple towels off the warmer and hands one to me. We quickly dry off and step out into the air-conditioned bathroom and goosebumps erupt on my arms. I put my PJs back on after relieving myself then head into the nursery to check on my girls. Thinking I might find one or both of them awake because of my earlier outburst, I'm thankful they're both still sound asleep in the middle of their cribs. I softly kiss Tessa and Teagan then make my way to the bedroom. Tobias lifts the sheet, and I slip into bed beside him. I roll onto my side and tense up when he wraps his arm around me, pulling me against his chest. The second I do it, I hate myself.

"I screwed up, didn't I?" he murmurs against my ear. I don't want him to think that. I slowly roll in his arms and rest my head on his pillow and gaze at him.

"You didn't screw up," I say. "Please don't think that way."

"I shouldn't have said anything." He rolls onto his back with a heavy sigh and runs his hand through his already messy tresses. I snuggle in close to his side, toss my leg over his, and rest my head in the crook of his arm. I run my fingers across his washboard abs searching for the right words.

"I don't ever want you to be afraid to ask for what you want. I need you to be happy and fulfilled in every aspect of our life just like you always take care of me. Is … _that_ really something you want to try?" I ask, my heart rate accelerating as my nerves get the best of me. I can't even bring myself to say the words out loud.

"Only if you want to," he says. "We obviously don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"I know. You'd never make me do anything I didn't want to do." We silently lie in each other's arms both staring at the ceiling for a long time.

"I feel like there's something you want to say but you're either embarrassed or scared," he finally says. "Please talk to me, love. I don't want this to become an issue."

"I should be able to say anything to you but I'm not exactly sure how to say this."

"You don't want to. That's fine," he says. Although he's doing a good job of hiding it, I can hear his disappointment. This is something he really wants. I wonder if I could give it to him.

"Please don't put words in my mouth," I softly say. "That's not where I was going with that comment." He turns his head and stares at me but I can't bring myself to look at him if I'm going to talk about this, so I turn my back to him.

" _Tris_."

"Hold me, Tobias," I say. He rolls up behind me and molds his body to mine. He drapes his arm and leg over mine, cocooning me in his loving embrace. It should feel suffocating but it only feels loving and safe. "The thought of anal sex scares me." He raises his arm and starts running his fingers through my tangled hair.

"I would never intentionally hurt you."

"I know you wouldn't," I whisper. "There's something you don't know. I didn't tense because of where you were touching me, although I was surprised you were touching me there, I tensed because … you're not the first person to touch me there and it took me back to that day." Tears well up in my eyes thinking about that night in the training room or maybe it's because Tobias' entire body goes rigid behind me.

"What are you saying?" he quietly asks. His voice may be barely audible but I can hear pain in it.

" _He_ ," I can't bring myself to say his name, "tried to put his fingers inside me in the training room. I fought him so hard but he wouldn't stop _touching_ me." I remind myself to take deep steady breaths to stave off a panic attack. Thinking about the attack transports me back to that night. I smell the sweat, dirt, and steel of the training room mixed with his fowl breath. I feel his aggressive, unwanted hands all over my body and the pain of every punch and kick. I hear every single disgusting word he whispered in my ear. "He told me he wanted my ass, and I was so scared, Tobias. I knew he would hurt me and take pleasure in it. I thank God every day for sending Zeke to intervene."

"Why didn't you ever tell me this before?" he asks. His body relaxes, and he starts caressing my hair once again but his voice is gruff with emotion.

"I don't like thinking about that night. As a matter of fact, I don't like thinking about him period. My husband should be able to touch me anywhere he wants without reminding me of another man. It's not fair to you." I lose my battle with the tears and just let them fall. He holds me tightly and if I'm not mistaken, he sheds some of his own. I hate that after all this time that bastard still has the power to reduce me to tears, especially since I've promised myself time after time that I'd never do it again.

"I hate what he did to you."

"What he did to us," I interrupt.

"I hate what he stole from you," he says. "And I hate that my selfishness brought it all back for you and now _I'm_ the one causing you pain." I struggle out of his embrace and sit up.

"What are you talking about?" He sits up and leans against our headboard with a low groan.

"Some insignificant thing I want is causing you pain and distress, love," he says, anguish in his eyes. "I got carried away in the shower and started thinking with my dick instead of my brain."

"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who never gave you all the specifics of the attack. You can't read my mind," I say and then I add, "Can I think about it?"

"You don't have to do that."

"But I want to. Baby, you don't ask for things very often so I know this is something you really want. I can hear the disappointment in your voice, and I don't want to be the cause of it," I say. He opens his mouth to say something but I press my lips to his to quiet him before a word escapes. I climb into his lap as the kiss deepens, our tongues gliding sensually along each other. We only part when we need to breathe. I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. "I'm glad you asked me." I lean back, not letting my hold on him go and stare into his dilated eyes. "I wish I could say yes right now … you know I'd give you the world … but this is something I need to think about."

"Thank you for thinking about it." He flushes a brighter shade of red, and I know how hard this has been for him. "I just want to experience every part of you."

"I think I might want that to."

"Do you have any idea how much I love you," he gruffly says, the look in his eyes intense.

"Yes, I do," I reply, my words quivering with strong emotion. "You love me as much as I love you." I expect him to kiss me but instead he sighs then presses his lips to my forehead.

"We should at least try to get some sleep," he says.

"You're right." I give him a quick kiss then climb off his lap. We both slide down into bed and spoon. I close my eyes, relishing the feel of his arms around me and try to get some sleep but my mind won't shut off. I keep reliving what happened in the training room. It's been months since I've let it bother me this badly. I take deep breaths in and slowly release them but it doesn't help.

Realizing there's no way I'm going to be able to get back to sleep, I very carefully move Tobias's arm off of me and slip out of bed. I stare at his slumbering form thankful that he's able to get some rest. I take the baby monitor off my nightstand and head downstairs. I trudge into the kitchen in desperate need of coffee. The machine is ready to go; I just need to press the start button. While I wait for the pot to brew, I gaze at the contents of the refrigerator for inspiration. _What should I make for breakfast?_ Nothing grabs my attention so I move on to the cupboards. After staring at the staple goods for at least five minutes an idea hits me. I gather the ingredients and within 30 minutes I have sweet dough rising in a covered bowl in preparation for cinnamon rolls. If I time it right the mouth-watering aroma will wake my family up.

I pour myself a second cup of decaf coffee, pick up the timer, then go into the living room to relax a little. I sit on the loveseat and stretch my legs out in front of me. I gaze out into the dark city. It won't be long before dusk gives way to dawn. I run over today's schedule and realize I might be able to get a nap in before I have to go to the office if I play my cards right. My thoughts soon drifts from work to pleasure, Tobias to be specific and his intriguing and completely terrifying request.

"There you are," comes a gravelly voice from my left, interrupting my reverie and making me jump. I swear my heart stops for a full minute before sprinting.

"Damn!" I say, clutching my chest, trying to calm myself.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to scare you," he says. He picks up my legs, sits down, and puts them in his lap. "What are you doing up? Why aren't you in bed?"

"I couldn't get back to sleep. I tried," I say. "I guess I'm just too keyed up."

"I'm sorry."

"Why don't you go back to bed," I say.

"Only if you come with me."

"I can't. I'm making cinnamon rolls for breakfast," I say.

"Would you like some help?" he asks just as the timer goes off.

"I'd like that." We get up and go into the kitchen. While I roll out the dough, Tobias gathers the butter, sugar, and cinnamon.

"Should we add raisins or pecans?" he asks.

"Let's do pecans this time," I say. "We added raisins last time."

"Okay." I finish rolling out the dough into a nice rectangle. While I clean the rolling pin, Tobias spreads on a generous layer of butter then sprinkles it with the cinnamon, sugar, pecan mixture. "This was definitely a good idea. Are we going to frost them?" I roll the dough then cut them into equal lengths and put them in the greased baking dishes.

"Of course. They wouldn't be cinnamon rolls without frosting." I cover the dishes and set the timer to let them raise then go to the sink to wash my hands. Tobias moves up behind me and kisses my neck.

"I need to apologize to you," he murmurs. "If I hadn't left the toilet seat up, we'd both be asleep right now."

"You're probably right," I say although not unkindly. It's just a fact.

"I think I have a way to make it up to you." He places a smattering of kisses down my neck to my shoulder.

"Yeah, what's that?" I unconsciously tilt my head to give him better access.

"An orgasm." His hot breath on my ear when he whispers makes me shudder. He's being charming and sexy but I start laughing. "What's so funny?" he indignantly asks. I turn around and gaze up at him.

"You want to give me an orgasm every time you leave the toilet seat up?" I flirtatiously ask, running a single finger down the center of his bare chest. "Tell me, does the count start now or would it be retroactive? Because if that were the case, you would owe me about … oh … a thousand orgasms!"

"How about we start with one?" He lifts me onto the island and I squeal in surprise. His lips land on mine with a hungry urgency, quashing my delightful cry as his arms tighten around me and his hands press me up against him. He kisses down my neck and slowly runs his hands up and down my back. My body responds to each caress and kiss. He picks me straight up and I wrap myself around him. He carries me into the living room and collapses on the couch with me in his lap.

"What are you doing?" I moan as one hand finds its way into my sleep shorts.

"I think you know," he chuckles as his fingers search my already moist folds and finds my throbbing nubbin. My mouth dries and my body stiffens as he glides his fingers over the aching bundle of nerves. I close my eyes and drop my head onto his shoulder. My hips start to sway with the rhythm he creates.

"Oh, God!" I moan. "So good." He changes up his touch, slipping a finger inside me and then two. He curves his fingers and glides his thumb over my needy nub then picks up the pace. "Tobias! Oh, God!" He keeps rubbing up against that magic spot inside me and I move in rhythm with his strokes. I clench around his invading digits as a violent explosion starts deep inside and detonates outward, blinding me with a bright white light of pure passion. Once I remember how to breathe, he captures my screams of pleasure as I ride through the intense wave of pleasure. After I'm totally spent, he slows his fingers then withdraws them. "Damn."

"Damn is right," he says. My body feels like I had all my bones removed. "I love when you come for me." I sit in his lap, my senses slowly returning to normal.

"If you do that every time the toilet seat is left up, I might not get so angry with you. As a matter of fact, I might encourage you."

"That's the plan," he says laughing his deep belly laugh I love. He's so happy and relaxed right now. I can feel him beneath me. He's not fully erect but well on his way. I grind myself against him, and he growls as his body reacts to mine.

"I love you," I whisper in his ear.

"I love you, too." I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him passionately. I let our tongues tangle as our bodies rock against each other. I wasn't expecting this but making love with my husband is always welcome. My oversensitive nipples lengthen and harden, and the silky material of my cami is just too much to take. I rip it off over my head and he moans then dips his head and captures a pebbled peak between his moist lips and massages my other breast with a gentle touch. I move my hand between us and stroke him through his cotton sleep pants.

"I want you, Tobias," I moan. "I _need_ you." He moves so fast that one second I'm in his lap and the next I'm beneath him and my sleep shorts are on the floor. I help him push his pajama bottoms down over his hips just enough to free his hard length, and he places himself at my entrance. He roughly kisses me as he slides fully into me with one steady thrust of his powerful hips.

"You feel so good," he murmurs against my lips. He hooks my knees around his elbows and spreads me wide. His phone rings just as he starts to move.

"Ignore it," I pant as our bodies collide and our tongues search each other's mouths. It stops after half a dozen rings only to immediately pick up again. I'm about ready to tell him to ignore it again when someone bangs on the door.

" _Sonofabitch!_ " he growls, pulling out of me and fixing his pants.

"You get the phone; I'll get the door." I put my PJs back on and smooth down my hair as I make my way to the door, and he gets his phone off the charger. By the time he gets to it, it's ringing for the third time.

"What?" he barks into the receiver as I open the door to find Will on the other side, looking … _troubled?_ Yeah, troubled. I look over my shoulder and Tobias is staring at us. "Yeah, he's here."

"What's going on, Will?" I ask. I step out of the way and let him into the apartment.

"There's been a disturbance in the Pit," he says. "I'm afraid I don't know any details. Shauna just called, told me there's an emergency, and to get Four. James has been trying to get ahold of you two."

"We were … busy." I blush and look away.

"Will and I will be there as soon as possible," Tobias says in a huff into the phone. "Hold all parties and any witnesses until I'm there."

"What's going on?" I ask him when he ends the call.

"An altercation in the Pit with injuries and possible casualties." He kisses my temple then sighs. "Apparently Hector and a few other initiates were smack dab in the middle of it."


	28. Chapter 28

I slide the cinnamon rolls into the preheated oven and set the timer for 30 minutes just as Tobias rushes down the stairs, phone in hand. He sent Will on ahead with instructions to help James and Shauna while he got dressed but he's keeping in contact with all of them via text messages. I wish we could finish our lovemaking before he leaves but, unfortunately, duty calls.

"Are you sure I shouldn't call Bridget and have her come over early?" I ask. "The situation in the Pit sounds serious."

"From what James just told me, it is but I'm sure the six of us can handle it." When I question the number he adds, "I had him call in Simon and Tony. But I'll call if we need you, love." He pulls me into his arms and softly kisses me, being extra careful not to let it deepen.

"I'm sorry we got interrupted." He cups my face, and I lean into his gentle touch.

"I'll make it up to you later, Mrs. Eaton," he says. "I promise."

"I look forward to it, Mr. Eaton," I say. "I'll meet you in the Pit around 10:30 unless I hear from you before then."

"Okay. I've got to go," he says then gives me another quick kiss. "I'll see you later." When we reach the door, he sighs. "This morning hasn't gone the way I expected it to. First, we got interrupted and now I'm going to miss out on the cinnamon rolls."

"I'll save you a couple," I giggle.

"I would appreciate that," he says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I love you, beautiful."

"I love you, too, handsome." A wide grin splits his face then he kisses my forehead and disappears out into the hallway and down the stairs. I close and lock the door once I can no longer see him then head back into the kitchen.

While I'm mixing the frosting, I can't help but think about the profound change I've seen in Hector in a relatively short amount of time. _What is wrong with him?_ First, he disrespects me, then Tobias, and now he's in the middle of an altercation in the Pit after curfew. Is he _trying_ to get kicked out? I know I didn't pay a lot of attention to him the past three years but he always seemed like such a respectful young man. Now … he's a definite handful. The timer buzzes startling me out of my reverie.

I take the cinnamon rolls out of the oven, and the aroma slaps me in the face, causing my stomach to grumble loudly. It's absolutely mouth-watering. I immediately frost them then set them on the counter to cool. I set the table for four then head upstairs. I check on the kids but they're all still sound asleep so I decide to take the unusual extra time to get ready for the day. I take another quick shower washing my hair this time, too, then head into my closet. I dress in comfortable cotton lingerie then decide on typical summer Dauntless gear. I slip into a sleeveless dark gray fitted V-neck tee and drag my faded black skinny jeans up over my hips but no matter what I do, they won't button.

"My jeans don't fit? _Seriously?_ " I mutter under my breath. Maybe it's just this pair. I try on seven others but none of them fit right anymore. I'm able to button and zip most of them but there's no way I could wear them for long. They're just not comfortable. " _Shit!_ " I can't help but sigh as I pull on a plain pair of black boot cut yoga pants. Hhm. I guess it's time to buy some maternity jeans. After I put on a pair of black leather ankle boots, I dry and style my hair into loose waves. As I'm putting the hairdryer away, I hear chattering through the baby monitor and know that my day is about to get a lot more hectic.

"Good morning, my sweet girls," I say as I walk into the nursery.

"Hi, Mama!" they both call out at the same time.

"How are my girls this morning?" I ask as I first lift Tessa and then Teagan out of their cribs and set them on the ground at my feet. They babble to me and each other as we make our way into the bathroom. They are in quite the good mood this morning. "Guess what?"

"What?" Tyler asks as he ambles into the bathroom.

"Well, good morning, Tyler."

"Mornin', Ty-Ty!" Tessa says and Teagan just grins at her big brother.

"Hi, Tess. Hi, Teags. Hi, Mommy." He looks around like he's lost something. "Where's Daddy?"

"Yeah," Tessa says.

"He go?" Teags asks, her head cocked to one side and her hands up by her ears.

"Oh, guys, Daddy had to go into work early," I say. "I might have to go soon also."

"Oh," Tyler says. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing for you to worry about," I say as I ruffle his hair. "How about the three of you take a bath together then we'll have breakfast." Teagan's eyes light up, Tessa starts pouting, and Tyler looks appalled that I'm asking him to bathe with his sisters. "Please."

"What's for breakfast?" Tyler asks.

"Smells good," Tessa says.

"What it?" Teags asks. She sniffs the air with her adorable little freckle-sprinkled nose. "'Mells good!"

"You guys get in the bath then I'll tell you what Mommy and Daddy made for you." Within two minutes they're all in the tub. I wash and rinse their hair with the handheld showerhead one at a time and then let each use the poof to wash up.

"I laid an outfit on your rocking chair, buddy," I tell Tyler as I help him out of the tub. "Go get dressed."

"Okay, Mommy," he says.

"And don't dawdle," I say.

"What's daw-dle?" he asks, frowning.

"It basically means wasting time."

"Okay," he says. "I hurry."

"You don't have to hurry," I say, "but we'll have cinnamon rolls as soon as your sisters get dressed."

"Cimmanin rolls?" they all squeal at the same time.

"Yes," I say, chuckling and they start cheering. "Hey, calm down, guys. Get dressed, buddy." I watch his naked fanny run out of the bathroom and all I can do is shake my head then I turn my attention back to Tessa and Teags. "Are you ready to get out?"

"Yes!" Tessa says with an award-winning smile at the same time Teags says with a huge frown, "No!"

"All right. Teags, you can keep playing while I help Tessa dry off and get dressed but then you have to get out."

"'Kay, Mama."

"Come on, little one." I lift Tessa out of the tub and straight into her super cute pink bunny-head towel while Teags splashes away beside us, a look of pure joy on her face. She definitely loves bath time. I wish Tessa was that amenable. "Let's get you dressed."

"I pick, Mama?" she asks.

"Mommy already picked out an outfit for you," I say. I hold up the clothing that nearly matches mine and she grins. "Is this all right?" She nods aggressively. "Here let me help."

"I do it," she indignantly says. _Whoa! Mood swing._

"Okay," I say. "Come on, Teags. Time to get out."

"Hap to?" she pouts.

"Yes." She sighs as she stands up. "Come here." I pick her up and wrap her in her innocent-looking yellow giraffe-head towel. As I'm drying her off, my phone rings. "Here, Teags. Please get dressed." I pull my phone out and see that it's Tobias. "Hi, baby."

"Hey, love," he sighs. "I called Bridget, and she's on her way to watch the kids. Will you meet me in my office once she gets there?"

"Of course."

"I need you there to keep me calm while I question Hector," he says letting out a deep sigh. "I'm afraid I'd try to kill the little bastard if I was locked in my office alone with him."

"What happened, Tobias?" I ask. "What the hell did he do this time?"

"The details are still sketchy at this time but what has been confirmed is words were exchanged between Hector and an as yet unidentified Dauntless member. Fists started to fly and the entire situation devolved quickly into a huge fight between multiple members and initiates."

" _Why?_ "

"Your guess is as good as mine," he scoffs. "He's being stubbornly mute about the near riot."

" _Riot!_ "

"Yeah. Unfortunately."

"Was anyone hurt?" I ask.

"There were some minor injuries, nothing too serious, but there were several reports of someone falling into the chasm."

"Oh my God!" I gasp.

"Problem is, we haven't found a body yet so I'm beginning to doubt the eye witness accounts."

"Could he or she have survived the fall and maybe somehow crawled their way out on their own?"

"Surviving a fall is not unheard of according to Zander. It's happened a handful of times in the past 20 years or so," he says, "but no one has ever fallen into the chasm that hasn't had to be pulled out."

"Where could the body have gone? I know the current is very strong. Could the water have pulled them away?"

"I don't know."

"Mama, is dat Dadda?" Tessa asks as she pulls on my pant leg. "Him home?" She's looking up at me with hopeful eyes.

"Yes, it's Daddy but he's not coming home, little one," I say.

"I talk to him?" she pouts.

"Yeah!" Teags adds.

"Is that Daddy?" Tyler asks as he walks into the room.

"You have three anxious little people here who would like to say hello," I tell Tobias. "I'm going to put you on speaker."

"Okay, love," he says as I hit the speaker icon.

"Say hi to Daddy."

"Hi, Daddy," Tyler says as Tessa and Teags say, "Hi!"

"Hi, guys," Tobias says. "I'm sorry that I had to leave before you got up. Have you had the cinnamon rolls yet?"

"Not yet," Tyler says. The girls shake their heads no. I've tried to tell them he can't see them but they don't quite understand that yet. "Mommy said we could when Tess and Teags is dressed and now they are. I'm hungry."

"Me, too," Tessa says.

"So am I," I add. "Tobias, do you want me to bring you one when I come to your office?"

"That would be great," he says. "I'll make a pot of coffee and have it waiting for you."

"Mommy go?" Tessa asks her bottom lip sticking out nearly a mile.

"Bridget will be here soon then, yes, I have to go to work, too, little one," I say. "Let's go downstairs and have those cinnamon rolls. Say bye to Daddy."

"Bye, Daddy," Tyler yells as the girls wave.

"Bye. I love you three very much." They tell him their I love you's then we file out of the bathroom. I take the phone off speaker and continue our conversation. "I love you, too, Tris."

"I know," I say. "And I love you. I better get off the phone."

"Yeah, me, too," he says. "I still have a couple interviews to conduct here before I head to the Pire. I'll see you soon, love."

"See you later, baby." We hang up then I serve up warm cinnamon rolls to my ravenous brood. "Maybe I should have waited for baths until after you ate." Three frosting-covered faces smile back at me. "So, how are they?"

"Yummy," Tyler says.

"Yeah!" Tessa agrees. Teags just grins.

"I guess breakfast is a hit," I say as the doorbell rings. "Looks like Bridget's here. Don't move until I get back. You all need your hands and faces washed." Eager knocking sounds before I can get to it, and I start to worry. Bridget is never this impatient. I'm surprised when I open the door to find Christina and Liam. "Hey."

"Hi, Tris," Liam says, beaming up at me with his gap-toothed grin.

"Well, hello, Liam. Come in." I step to the side and let them by me. "The kids are just finishing their breakfast. Have you eaten? I made cinnamon rolls." I can tell that they've already eaten because there's an oatmeal stain on Liam's shirt but his eyes light up when I mention the delicious baked good. "Would you like to split one?"

"Sure," she says.

"Yiam!" Teags excitedly cries when she sees her best friend in the world walk into the dining room. "I miss 'ou. I lub 'ou."

"Love you, Teags." I chuckle thinking how much Tobias would hate hearing them declare their love for each other and shake my head. Sometimes my husband can be hilarious.

"I need to talk to you," Christina says.

"What's up?" I ask.

"In private."

"I don't have a lot of time," I say. "Bridget will be here soon. Four needs my help with Hector." I don't have to elaborate since Will was called in early to work today also.

"He's becoming quite the nuisance, isn't he?" she says. "Is Four going to kick him out?"

"I have no idea," I say. "Let's sit in the sunroom and talk. Guys, Mommy and Christina are going to talk in the next room. Holler if you need us." She sits Liam at the table across from the girls and gives him half a cinnamon roll then follows me into the sunroom. We relax on the loveseat where we can still see the kids.

"I have a question for you," she says. She wrings her hands nervously, and I think I know where this conversation is heading. "I hate to be snoopy," I roll my eyes. _Yeah, righ_ t, "but I need to know. Are you pregnant?" _I knew it!_ I try to maintain a passive look but I'm not sure she's buying it. My eyes dart to check on the kids and she groans.

"I don't know what you're talking about." My eyes flicker back to hers, and she gazes back at me with disappointment and hurt on her face.

"You've been moody and nauseous. You've been unusually tired," she says. Holy shit! She recognizes the pregnancy symptoms I completely missed. "Then yesterday you said Dr. Parrish diagnosed you with anemia. I just put two and two together. Come on, Tris. I won't say anything." I study my hands for a moment. Should I confirm it for her and put her out of her misery? What would Tobias tell me to do? "Tris, come on. I know it's true because of how you're acting."

"Fine. Four and I found out yesterday that I'm almost nine weeks along," I mutter. I decide against telling her that it's twins. She can find out alongside everyone else. She squeals and throws her arms around me. "Don't say a word, not even to Will. The kids don't know, and until we're ready to share the news with everyone, we don't want them finding out."

"I won't say anything," she says. "Was it a surprise?"

"That's the understatement of the year," I say. "According to Zander, my body expelled the IUD. I knew there was a slight chance of that but never in a million years did I think it would actually happen. What are the odds of the same couple having birth control fail … _twice_?"

"Are you happy?" she reluctantly asks.

"Of course. Four and I are both ecstatic. We had been contemplating another child. I told you that. It was just really unexpected," I say. "I should have known, Christina. All the signs were there and had been for quite a while but I ignored them. I shouldn't have."

"I'm happy for you," she says, a smile on her face but her tone is slightly off.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she says entirely too quickly. I reach out and put my hand on hers.

"You can talk to me."

"It's just that," she takes a deep breath, "Will and I have been trying for months…" Her voice trails off. It looks like she's trying not to cry.

"And I got pregnant without even trying," I say finishing her incomplete statement.

"It sounds terrible when you say it out loud like that. _Ugh!_ I'm being selfish."

"No, you're not," I say. "You're just disappointed. That's completely understandable. It's hard to see your friends getting something you want so desperately, especially if they weren't even trying."

"Yeah, it is," she mumbles. "We've been trying since before Ella and Stefan had Grayson, and he'll be 6 months old soon."

"I'm sorry, Christina. Why haven't you said anything before? There really isn't anything I can do but I can listen. I'm a hell of a listener."

"Yeah, you are," she says with a small chuckle. The doorbell rings interrupting our conversation.

"That would be Bridget," I say as I get to my feet. "I'm sorry I can't stay and talk but I have to meet Four." We get up and walk into the kitchen. The kids are sitting at the table talking and laughing. This is the best they've behaved maybe ever.

"That's okay. I have to get to the training room anyway."

"Call me, text me, or drop by anytime," I say as I open the door to let Bridget in. "Good morning, Bridget."

"Hello, Tris."

"Hey, Bridget," Christina says. "Is Fiona with you?"

"She's just behind me."

"Well, I better get Liam home," she says.

"Fi and I talked about taking the kids to the park today," Bridget quietly says as not to alert the kids. "Would that be a problem?"

"It's fine with me," Christina says.

"I think it's a good idea. The kids need cleaned up. They had cinnamon rolls for breakfast and just finished."

"Okay, Tris," Bridget says. "Christina, you can leave Liam here."

"Teags will love that," I snicker. "All right, guys, Mommy has to go."

"You gots to go?" Tessa quietly asks. I kneel down by her chair and look her in the eye.

"Yes, I do," I say. "Daddy needs me."

"Otay," she says. "Love you, Mama."

"I love you, too," I say as I lean forward and kiss her forehead.

"I love you, Mommy," Tyler says.

"Mama, lub 'ou," Teags says. I kiss each of their heads, stealthily avoiding their sticky hands and faces.

"I love you, buddy, Teags. I'll see you all at supper."

"Liam, Fiona will be over soon," Christina says. "Have a good day. I love you."

"Love you, Mommy." I take a few cinnamon rolls from the pan and put them in a disposable container then head toward the door.

"See you guys later." After another round of hugs and I love you's, I follow Christina out the door.

"So, are you ready to have four kids?" she asks.

"Not in the least," I say with a chuckle. "I'm glad we have until January to get used to the idea." We stop outside Tobias' office, and I pull her in for a hug, which surprises her. "Remember what I said. If you ever need to talk, _ev er_ , I'm here for you."

"Thanks, Tris," she says, hugging me fiercely before letting go. "I know we just had a girl's night not that long ago but I think we need another one. This time dancing or dinner and drinks."

"Sounds fun," I say. "Let's plan something with Ana and Avery for after initiation. Speaking of, how's the planning for the Welcome Ball coming?"

"It's all done," she says.

"Already?"

"Yeah. I had it done before initiation started. Last year it was like doing double duty and the year before I planned it in like two days, and I didn't think it was as good as it could have been. This year I planned ahead and it's going to be spectacular."

"Good thinking and your parties are always memorable," I say. "Well, I better get inside. Four is waiting for me. I'll see you later."

"Bye, Tris," she says then turns and walks towards the path. I softly rap on Tobias' door then let myself into his office. He's sitting behind his desk with his head in his hands. I was expecting to see Hector also but he's alone.

"What's wrong, baby?" I softly ask as I come around his desk. I set the container by his computer then run my fingers through his hair.

"That feels good," he murmurs.

"I thought Hector would be here," I say. "Did you cancel the interview?"

"No, I had Simon and Tony take him to holding instead," he says. "I'll have them escort him here when I'm ready for him. I just needed a few minutes." He sits back and pulls me onto his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his head against my chest.

"Tell me what's going on, Tobias," I murmur as I continue caressing his hair. "Was a body found?"

"A Dauntless t-shirt was fished out of the chasm, which is what the witnesses say the man was wearing but there's been no sign of a body," he says.

"What was Hector's explanation for his behavior this morning?" I ask then something comes to me. "And why was he out of the dorm?"

"I don't know what the hell is up with him. He won't talk, not to Will, James, me, or even Shauna. I don't know what to do with him, Tris. If someone had died, I would have washed my hands of him immediately, no questions asked, but since no body as of yet has been found it's up to my discretion as to whether he stays or not."

"Let me ask you something – I'll play devil's advocate for a minute – if he wasn't Shauna and Lynn's little brother would you even be debating your course of action right now?" He stares deeply into my eyes as he contemplates my question.

"You're right, he'd be out on his ass so fast it would make his head spin. But on the other hand, I'd like to think that if someone I knew, even if it were only remotely, had a drastic change in their personality I would try to get answers as to why before just pushing them out the door. Something's not right with him, Tris, and I have my suspicions that making him factionless could come back to bite us in the ass."

"Are you thinking he's _trying_ to be expelled? Why would anyone do that? It's not hard to leave a faction, you just do it."

"I can't answer any of your questions. I wish I could," he says. "The one thing I do know is that we need answers, and we need them today."

"And if he won't talk?" I ask.

"I may have to give Jack a call. We could put him under truth serum and pry the answers out of him."

"As long as we know what questions to ask."

"True," he says. "Hey, are these for me?" I notice him eyeing the container of cinnamon rolls I brought.

"One's for me, too," I say.

"You haven't eaten yet?" he asks disapprovingly. "Tris." His critical tone grates my nerves but knowing the stress he's under I bite my tongue, instead counting to 10 before I answer.

"Yes, I've eaten, Mr. Worrywart, but apparently it wasn't enough. I'm still hungry."

"Well, you are eating for three now," he reminds me, resting his large hand against my belly. "How are you feeling today? How are our little Button and Bean?"

"First of all, my jeans didn't fit this morning so I'm feeling a bit irritated," I say. His eyes light with laughter but he knows not to make a sound. "It's not funny, Mr. Eaton. I didn't just try on a pair or two either; I tried on eight." This time he does laugh and I pout. " _Tobias_."

"I'm sorry," he says then his eyes slide up and down my body. "The yoga pants are sexy as hell, though. Who needs jeans?"

"Are you drunk?" I roll my eyes. "Yoga pants are _not_ sexy."

"Everything you wear is sexy, Mrs. Eaton," he says, "but I'm especially partial to your birthday suit." I can't help giggling. I like it when he flirts.

"You're so bad," I say.

"I thought you've always told me how good I was." He kisses the sensitive skin beneath my ear and I moan. "How about we finish what we started earlier, love. We could lock the door. No one will miss us for half-an-hour." I contemplate his offer but before I can answer my stomach growls. "Looks like I need to feed you instead."

"By the way, Christina stopped by after you left," I say as we eat the cinnamon rolls and drink coffee.

"What did she want?" he asks.

"She figured out I'm pregnant," I say with sigh. He freezes for a moment, his coffee mug hovering in midair. "If I were a better actor I could have told her that she was wrong but apparently one look in my eyes when she asked and I couldn't hide it. I'm sorry. I know we weren't going to tell anyone."

"She's very observant and quite annoying sometimes," he mutters. "Once a Candor." His voice trails off as he grumbles to himself. Sometimes I think he only tolerates her because she's my best friend.

"Don't be mad at her."

"I'm not," he says. "Did you tell her it was twins?"

"No and I can't wait to see the look on her face when she finds out. She's going to be pissed."

"You sound happy about that fact," he says.

"Maybe," I say.

"How did she figure it out?"

"She recognized the symptoms and put it together. I could tell she was suspicious at supper last night. She kept looking at me funny. I'm kind of irritated that she figured it out so quickly, and I nearly had a breakdown when Zander told us."

"Breakdown?"

"The laughter," I say. "That's twice now I thought he was joking with me and couldn't control my laughter."

"That's odd," he says. "I don't really remember that."

"You were quite frozen," I say. "Trying to process the information I imagine."

"Huh."

"Are you expecting someone?" I ask when someone knocks on his door.

"No," he says. I get up off his lap and go to answer the door.

"Hey, Shauna," I say. "Come in. Would you like some coffee?"

"No," she says. "What are you planning on doing with Hector? You can't kick him out, Four."

"Actually, I can kick him out and to be honest with you, that is the direction I'm leaning in," he says. "Sit down."

"I don't want to sit down." She crosses her arms over her chest and narrows her glassy eyes at Tobias.

"I'm not planning on making a unilateral decision here, Shauna, but I have to say that I've been more than fair with your brother. If he were anyone else he would be factionless right now. I'm holding off because of you and Lynn, and that isn't right."

"He's just a mixed-up kid," she pleads.

"And how do you know that?" I ask. "He won't talk."

"I know him, Tris."

"Do you?" I can't help but think that she doesn't.

"I'm not going to stand here and let a _Stiff_ talk to me that way," she spits and I hate myself for doing it but I flinch away from the hateful slur. Whoa! I expect attitude from Lynn but not Shauna.

"Enough!" Tobias roars. "Apologize. _Now_."

"No," she indignantly says. "Hector is my flesh and blood. I _do_ know him. He's just … he's just..." Her words trail off and her face crumples as tears slowly roll down her cheeks. She flops into the office chair facing Tobias' desk. "I'm sorry, Tris. I didn't mean that." She sniffles and I hand her a tissue. "Thanks," she mutters.

"Don't worry about me," I say as I rest my hand on her shoulder and give it a little squeeze in a show of support. "I think we need to meet with Will and James and come up with a plan and once the plan is made, we stick to it … no matter what the outcome might be. We need to show Dauntless a united front."

"I agree with Tris," Tobias says.

"Okay," she says after a brief pause.

"How about meeting in the conference room immediately after lunch?" Tobias asks. "Does that work for you?"

"I'll have to rearrange my afternoon but this is a priority," she says then Tobias looks at me.

"I can file incident reports at any time," I say.

"Okay. I'll notify Will and James of the meeting then I will go to the control room to watch the footage of the altercation," he says. "Shauna, will you follow up with Zander? I'd like a detailed report of all the injuries."

"Right away, Four." Before she leaves she pulls her phone out and starts texting like crazy.

"Tris, will you call Simon and Tony and tell them our change of plans and that I will message them when I want Hector escorted to my office? Then I want you going over the incident reports and categorizing them. I'd like to get an idea of exactly what happened before we confront Hector."

"Of course," I say and jot a reminder note to myself. _This is going to be a long day_.


	29. Chapter 29

"Hey, baby," I say as I stick my head through Tobias' office door. It's almost 11:30, and I'm beyond starving. Unfortunately, the two huge cinnamon rolls I had this morning didn't hold me as long as they normally do. If I don't eat soon, I can't be held accountable for my actions. _I'm going to gain so much weight this pregnancy, I just know it._ Tobias is sitting at his desk intently staring at his computer screen, and I'm not sure he knows that I'm standing here. "Yoo-hoo! Do you want to have lunch at home or would you rather go down to the cafeteria and eat with our friends?" I've spent the past few hours reading over the incident reports from the fight in the Pit this morning that Will and James sent up just like Tobias asked me to and logging them into the official record. That technically didn't need to be done until next week but I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and get a head start for once.

"Can you lock the door, love?" he asks instead of answering my question. "I need to show you something and get your take on it."

"Okay," I say as I step through the door, close it behind me, and flip the lock.

"No, come here," he says as I start to sit in one of the office chairs across from him. I straighten up then join him behind his computer. I glance at the monitor and on it sits a frozen picture of Hector and a person I don't know but who looks oddly familiar. "Watch this video then tell me what you see."

"Okay." He pulls me onto his lap, wraps his arms around me, and rests his chin on my shoulder. He reaches forward, presses a button on the keyboard, and the still picture on the monitor rewinds then comes to life right before me. Unfortunately, this particular camera doesn't have sound so we have to guess what precisely is going on. The video looks to be taken in one of the many hallways that vine off the Pit floor but it's hard to say exactly which one since they all look alike.

Hector leisurely rounds a blind corner into the camera range followed shortly by a tall, broad man with sandy blonde hair and no visible tattoos or piercings. Hector looks relaxed until he sees the obviously unwelcomed company then he visibly tenses. The big man invades Hector's space, talking at him quite animatedly, waving his hands around but he never touches him. It's hard to guess what's going through Hector's mind because his back is mostly to the camera so we can't see his facial expressions. Is he frustrated, angry, frightened, nervous? I can't tell by his body language alone but nervous seems high on the list of possibilities. Suddenly, the big man steps forward and pushes his index finger into Hector's chest three times then turns and walks away. When he's out of frame, Hector's shoulders sag and he collapses against the wall. It looks like he's trying to catch his breath. When he turns around, his face is set in determination but I definitely see anxiety, fear, and fury in his eyes. He takes a few steps then disappears from view.

"This was approximately 45 minutes before the fight by the chasm took place," Tobias says. "What do you think?"

"Can you play it again?" I ask.

"Of course," he says as he reaches out and hits the replay button.

"If I'm reading this situation correctly, I would say Hector is being bullied," I say after letting the video fully sink in. "I'm not entirely sure why but it kind of reminds me of when Tyler was bullied by Bobby. He relentlessly picked on poor Tyler so Tyler took his frustrations out on his friends. Do you think Hector is feeling powerless against whoever that is and is taking his frustrations out on us?"

"That's _exactly_ what I thought when I saw this," he says.

"Do we have any idea who that is?" I ask.

"No clue," he says, "but don't you think he looks a lot like the eye witness descriptions of the man who fell into the chasm. He's even wearing the same kind of shirt that was fished out of the river."

"Maybe that's why I thought he looked familiar," I say. "Hopefully, we'll get some answers from Hector once we show him this."

"That's what I'm hoping."

"Who else has seen this?" I ask. "Zeke?"

"No. I thought Zeke was too close to this," he says. "I enlisted Nathan's help this time."

"That's good thinking," I say. "We don't want Zeke choosing sides because we know where his loyalty would lie."

"I don't want anyone choosing sides," he says. "We should be working on this together."

"I think lines have already been drawn, Tobias," I sigh, "especially given Shauna's behavior this morning. She's never spoken to me that way. I've always thought we were friends."

"She is your friend, love," he says. He turns me on his lap and gives me a soft kiss. "You know that. She's just upset with Hector and everything that's been going on."

"And took it out on me," I murmur barely above a whisper.

"I know. It sucks but she apologized," he says. "I'm sure she didn't mean it."

"I know."

"Did you mention lunch?" he asks.

"Yes. I'm starving," I say. "Do you want to go to the cafeteria or would you rather go home?"

"Let's go home," he says. "We can spend some time with the kids."

"They might not be there. Bridget mentioned taking them to the park with Fiona and Liam."

"If that's the case, we can have a nice leisurely, _uninterrupted_ lunch just the two of us."

"That sounds very nice," I say, knowing what he's getting at. We get up after another unhurried kiss then move toward the door but before I can unlock it a knock scares the crap out of me and I jump backwards, bumping into Tobias. " _Shit!_ " He manages to steady me as I put my hand over my heart, willing my racing heart to slow. Behind me I hear Tobias chuckle as he flips the lock and opens the door to Shauna, James, and Will. _Crap! Now I'm never going to get to eat._

"Tris and I were just headed home for lunch," Tobias says. "Can whatever this is wait?" They all look at each other.

"You're welcome to join us," I say. "We can talk there."

"We don't want to disturb you," Shauna says, looking embarrassed.

"It's no bother," Tobias says. "Come on." We leave his office and make our way upstairs to our apartment. After telling our guests to make themselves comfortable, I head into the kitchen to see what we have. There aren't enough leftovers for everyone and not enough time to fix something from scratch, so I look through the freezer at the few meals Bridget has prepared and frozen for emergencies just like this. The lasagna appears to be large enough for all of us if I pair it with a tossed garden salad and some mixed fruit.

"Tris?" Shauna timidly says from right behind me. The unexpected voice catches me off guard and a startled squeal bursts through my lips. "I'm sorry I scared you. I just wanted to talk to you."

"It's okay," I say. "I'm just jumpy today for some reason." I preheat the oven then give her my full attention.

"I need to apologize to you."

"You already apologized," I say.

"I need to do it again. I didn't mean what I said, Tris. I have no idea where those hateful words came from. I don't care that you came from Abnegation. I never have. You've never been anything other than my equal. I don't know what came over me. Will you forgive me?" I start to say there's nothing to forgive but the truth of the matter is her words hurt not because of what she said but because they came out of her mouth. Tears prick the back of my eyes, and I quickly blink them away. Now is not the time to let my hormone-riddled emotions get the best of me.

"I forgive you, Shauna," I say, smiling up at her. "I know this has been hard on you, too. Who knows what any of us would say or do if it were one of our family members in trouble?" She beams back at me then lunges forward, wrapping me in a tight embrace.

"Part of me wants to beat the shit out of the little asshole and another part of me wants to hold tight and protect him," she says. "He's my baby brother, and I don't even recognize him anymore. I'm scared."

"We found something on video from earlier today," I say when she lets me go. "Four will let you view it later but it appears that your brother has a bully." The stove buzzes letting me know it's time to reheat the lasagna. I set the timer for 20 minutes after putting it in the oven.

"A bully?"

"We can't confirm that without corroboration from him but, yes, that's the impression Four and I both got independently."

" _Bully_. Who is it?" she asks.

"We didn't recognize him," I say, "but he looks a lot like the description of the man who supposedly fell into the chasm this morning. Is there anymore news about that?"

"No, but we have several patrol members still looking," she says then her thoughts turn back to her brother. "A bully, huh? I can't imagine my brother being intimidated by anyone. He's always been so strong."

"A couple years ago Tyler was being bullied by a boy at daycare," I say then I convey to her the entire story. "He took his frustrations out on his friends instead of standing up to Bobby or telling us. Four and I recognize the same behavior in Hector. It could explain his outbursts and his recent behavior."

"How did I not know about Tyler!" she mutters. "Poor little guy."

"We got to the bottom of the bullying rather quickly so it didn't do any lasting harm," I say. "Bobby, unfortunately, was taking his frustrations out in Tyler. It was one big vicious circle. He and his mother were abused by his stepfather. It was a sad situation all around. I'm glad Four and I were able to help Jennifer, Bobby, and Becca."

"Jennifer from the boutique?"

"Yeah."

"I guess we all have our secrets," she mumbles under her breath.

"What are you two talking about in here?" Tobias asks as he comes into the kitchen.

"I was just telling Shauna about the video you found of Hector and the suspected bullying," I say.

"Zeke is having a couple of his men set up the conference room to view the videos," he says. "Once lunch is over, we'll convene there and go over all the video. Maybe you can tell us who the man is. It would be nice to get an ID before we talk to Hector."

"It's always nice to know the answers to the questions before we ask them," I say.

"That reminds me, if we can't get him to talk, Shauna, he will be taken to Candor for an interrogation under truth serum. We need him to talk and we need it now."

"I totally understand," she says. "He's trying everyone's patience including mine. I want to get to the bottom of this just as much as you do, Four."

"I'm glad you understand," he says.

"Let's hold off on anymore office talk until after lunch is over," I say.

"Sounds like a plan," Tobias says. "What are we having anyway? It smells good."

"Lasagna, garden salad, and some mixed fruit," I say. I turn to get five plates out of the cupboard and the edges of my vision goes black and the room slowly starts to spin. I sway into Tobias and he gives me a funny look before putting his hands on my waist to steady me.

"Are you okay, Tris?" Shauna asks.

"Dizzy," I murmur as Tobias leads me to the dining room table to sit down. He kneels down in front of me.

"What can I get for you?" he asks.

"I'm really hungry," I whisper, the spinning giving way to a rolling stomach. "I need something to eat."

"Shauna, can you get her some cheese out of the fridge?"

"Of course," she says. She brings me back a piece of string cheese and hands it to Tobias.

"Here you go, love," he says. I nibble on the snack and start to feel better almost immediately. "You're getting your color back." He glides his knuckles down the side of my face, worry on his.

"I'm feeling better," I softly say, embarrassed. "I shouldn't have let myself get so hungry."

"It's my fault," he says. "You told me you were hungry when you popped your head in my office. We should have come home immediately. I won't make that mistake again."

"I didn't think you heard me," I say.

"Oh. My. God!" Shauna excitedly squeals. "You're pregnant!" Tobias and I freeze. _How the hell did she figure that out?_ I furrow my brows at her. "Come on," she whines. "Four has had his hand on your stomach since you sat down. That's a dead giveaway. He did that all the time when you were pregnant with Teags." We both look down and, sure enough, his hand is splayed protectively across my lower tummy and neither of us even realized it. I meet his eyes in silent communication and shrug my shoulders. Christina knows, we might as well tell Shauna, too.

"You're pregnant?" James asks. I look over my shoulder and find him and Will standing there wide eyed.

"Yes, I'm pregnant," I finally confirm. "We weren't going to say anything for another few weeks so please don't say anything to anyone."

"Congratulations but how am I supposed to keep news like this from my wife?" Will asks.

"No worries," I say. "She already figured it out. She's very intuitive."

"I call it nosy," Tobias whispers against my ear causing me to chuckle then he kisses my temple. "Are you sure you're okay, love?"

"I'm fine," I say. Tobias makes me relax in the living room with Will, James, and Shauna. I tell them everything about our unexpected news except for the fact that it's twins. They each congratulate me and inquire about how the kids took the news.

"They don't know yet," Tobias says as he comes into the living room. "When time comes to announce it to the public we'll tell them."

"It would be just like one of the girls to innocently blurt it out in the middle of the cafeteria or start fighting with Tyler because they want a little sister instead of a little brother," I say. "And that _definitely_ will be a fight."

"Yeah, one we've already heard before," Tobias says with a chuckle. "Lunch is ready by the way." Just as we sit down at the table, our front door opens and the kids and Bridget come in.

"I smell something yummy," Tyler says.

"Me, too," Tessa says.

"I hungwy," Teags adds.

"Come have some lunch then, guys," Tobias calls out. Immediately we hear three sets of excited footsteps coming our way.

"Dadda!" Teags yells and runs up to his chair. "Up!" He lifts her onto his lap and gives her a bite of lasagna. She smacks her lips then asks for another bite.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says, hugging my side then he climbs up on the chair right next to me. "I didn't know you was comin' home."

"Mama, up peas," Tessa says.

"Come here, little one," I say as I lift her onto my lap. "We didn't want to go all the way to the cafeteria. I'm glad we got to see you."

"Me, too," he says. The girls nod in agreement.

"Good afternoon, everyone," Bridget says as she comes into the dining room.

"Do you want to get the kids' plates or do you want me to?" I ask Tobias.

"I can do that, Tris," Bridget says. "That's what I'm here for."

"Thank you, Bridget," Tobias says. "And get yourself a plate, too."

We sit around the table eating the delicious lunch and listening to the kids tell us about their visit to the park. Will excuses himself after cleaning his plate and goes to his apartment to spend some extra time with Liam before our meeting. When the kids finish their meals, Tobias and I take them upstairs and put them down for an afternoon nap. I thought they would fight against it like they normally do but they must have worn themselves out playing because they go down without a fuss.

"Bridget, thank you for the wonderful lasagna," I say when we get back downstairs. "It was handy to have it in the freezer."

"You're welcome."

"We have to go," Tobias says. "We'll be in and out of the conference room this afternoon. Call if you need anything."

"Of course," she says. When we exit out into the hallway, Will is leaving his apartment, too. It's a quick trip to the conference room.

"Before we delve into the details of this morning's incident, we need to make a decision about Hector," Tobias says as we gather around the huge table in the center of the room. "This is his third serious infraction since initiation started. We need to come up with a plan, and we need to stick to it. I want to hear all your thoughts. Shauna, since you are closest to this situation will you please begin?"

"Thank you, Four," she says, nervously tapping a single finger on the wooden tabletop. "I want you all to know that I'm well aware of the fact that my brother has been extremely difficult and highly disrespectful lately. I won't make excuses for him mainly because I have no idea what the hell has gotten into him. I've thought about this long and hard and have finally come to a decision. As Hector's sister I think he deserves another chance. There obviously is something going on in his life right now that he's either unable or unwilling to share. But as a leader of this faction, I think he's had more than enough chances to change his ways. We can't allow a rogue initiate to skirt the rules just because he's related to a leader, so I pose a compromise to you all. If he refuses to talk, if he refuses to cooperate in any way, or if he refuses to acknowledge his wrongdoings … he's out, factionless. _But_ if he comes clean and gives us an explanation as to why he's been acting the way he has and if it's a credible reason, we give him one final chance."

"That's exactly how I feel, too," Tobias says. "I recognize that there's something terribly wrong with his behavior and making him factionless without trying to get to the bottom of it is a mistake. James, Will, Tris, do you have any objections to this plan or anything to add?"

"I'm concerned with perception," James says.

"I agree," Will says. "No offense, Shauna."

"None taken," she says, her index finger still nervously drumming a rhythmic beat.

"I don't disagree with the plan," James says, "but if this was one of the other initiates, he or she would have been booted immediately after the train incident no questions asked." I shudder remembering Hector's hurtful words to Tobias. "I'm concerned because he's the brother of a leader, and I'm afraid it looks like we're showing him preferential treatment, making up the rules as we go." Tobias runs his fingers through his hair, leaving it as unruly as ever and slowly bobs his head up and down.

"Tris and I had almost this exact same conversation," he says. "She was playing devil's advocate and had the same concerns. I think that's why, moving forward, decisions about a person's member or initiate status needs to be a team effort not just mine. We'll discuss the situation, lay out pros and cons, vote, and majority wins. There should never be a tie since there's five of us. As for perception, James," he sighs and leans back in his chair, "I honestly don't care what people outside these walls think as long as _we_ all agree on a subject. We're the ones doing what we think is right for this faction, and I've learned that there's no making everyone happy."

"You're right," James says. "We're ultimately responsible for this faction. As long as we agree and we show a united front, we shouldn't have to worry about perception."

"Maybe we … no. Maybe _I_ should have done things differently with Hector but none of us have been in a situation like this before," Tobias says. "Will, Tris, are you in agreement?"

"Yes," Will says as I say, "Yeah."

"Okay," Tobias says looking pleased. "Before I call Simon and Tony to bring Hector up there are a couple videos we need to watch. The first one Zeke cued up is from the fight this morning and then there's one Nathan and I found from approximately 45 minutes before the fight."

"That's the one I want to see," Shauna says. Tobias picks up the remote in front of him and hits the play button. The large television screen attached to the wall flickers to life revealing a frozen aerial view of the Pit floor near the chasm ledge. He hits play and it comes to life. Because of the angle, faces are impossible to see. I'm honestly surprised at the number if people milling around at that time of day. I half expected the Pit to be nearly empty and that Tobias was exaggerating with the riot talk. Soon Hector and four others, two male and two female, come into view from the left side of the screen. They stop when something or someone just out of camera range does something. Whatever happens grabs the attention of the passersby and they stop to watch. Soon punches are being thrown and instead of trying to help or walking away the spectators join in the fight. _Idiots!_ Hector didn't incite a riot. Dauntless' way of life did.

"Is this the only angle we have?" I ask when I finally realize that this video is a bust. All the action is happening just out of camera range.

"Yeah," Tobias says. "The other cameras caught less than this according to Zeke."

"Shit!" Will mutters. "That one girl with Hector looks like Rose. Christina is going to flip."

"I'm fairly certain the other one is Maeve," I say with a humorless laugh. "Didn't we just suggest to Hector that he could be friends with Oliver, Rose, and Maeve?"

"Yeah and now they're all getting into trouble together. I wonder who the other boy is," Tobias says. "How did we not know this?" He pulls his phone out.

"Members don't pay attention to transfers," James says, "but they do know Hector."

"I didn't read a single incident report mentioning four other initiates," I say.

"Is it possible they thought they were just four random members?" Will asks.

"Why is it that we have even more questions now than we did before?" I mutter.

"Let's watch the other video," Shauna impatiently says.

"Okay," Tobias says. He picks up the remote again, changes the input, then plays the second video. I sit back wanting to witness the recording with fresh eyes. The minute the bully comes into view Shauna gasps. We all look at her instead of the screen.

"Oh, my God," Shauna says as her hands fly to cover her gaping mouth. She slowly gets to her feet and stands directly in front of the TV. She stares at the screen with wide transfixed eyes. When the altercation stops she has Tobias rewind it and quietly watches it again. "This can't be." We all ask several times what's wrong, who that is in the video but she doesn't seem to hear us. When the video stops she rushes out of the room with the four of us on her heels. "Unlock the door, Four," she insists outside his office. He lets her in and she runs to the file cabinets and starts digging through the personnel files. "Four, cue up that face for me." I meet Tobias' eyes and he shrugs. We all want to know what's going on. He turns on his computer and finds the video file then freeze frames the strangers face. She holds up an old photo beside the still video. The picture in the file she plucked from the cabinet is at least 20 years younger but it definitely looks like the same man. "This is Terrance Samuels … my father."


	30. Chapter 30

" _Father?_ " Tobias asks, stunned and he's not the only one. Will, James, and I are all looking on, speechless. "I thought your father died around 10 years ago."

"Yeah, you and me both," Shauna says, her usually bright eyes glazed over with pain, confusion, and betrayal. She tosses the folder she just dug out of the filing cabinet on Tobias' cluttered desk and starts pacing. "That's not a death file, Four." She stops and points at it. "It's a fucking _factionless_ file. And not a, I got kicked out kind either. He just … _left_." She looks around like her world is coming apart, which I'm sure it is. "I need Zeke." She plops down on the loveseat in a daze and buries her face in her hands.

"I'll get him for you, Shauna," I say. I pull my phone out of my pocket before I finish the sentence. I send Zeke a quick message telling him we need him in Four's office, and we need him now. He immediately responds with, be right there. "What about Lynn and your mom? Should I call them, too?"

"Let's hold off for the time being," Tobias says when Shauna sits frozen, off in her own little world. "But we do need to speak with Hector right now."

"I'll message Simon and Tony." I send texts to both Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo letting them know that we're finally ready for Hector and to bring him to the conference room instead of Tobias' office. There's more room there than here in his office for everyone.

"What about your mom, Shauna?" Tobias asks.

"I was told my dad fell into the chasm when I was 10 years old," Shauna says either not hearing Tobias' question or ignoring it. "Can a person actually fall into the chasm twice in their life?" Deranged-sounding laughter escapes her lips, and James sits down beside her, pulling him into his arms. She rocks back and forth not looking anything like the tough woman I've come to know over the past three years. Less than a minute later, Zeke bursts through the door, and Shauna leaps straight into his arms, buries her face in his neck, and finally releases the pent-up emotion, allowing herself to feel for the first time since seeing her father on video.

"What the hell?" he murmurs. "Shauna, what's wrong, Sunshine?" When she's unable to communicate with him, he looks at his best friend for answers.

"We're not exactly sure what's going on but she just identified the man harassing Hector in the video Nathan and I found this morning. Apparently, it's their … _father_."

"That's impossible," he scoffs. "Terry died a long time ago. I remember his funeral. I was there when his ashes were released from the top of the Hancock building."

"It's true," Shauna blubbers. "Look at the pictures. It's him. It's my dad." He releases her and picks up the file folder from the desk and looks it over then compares the photo to the video.

"I'll be damned," he mutters. "Sure looks like him."

"Read the file," I quietly say. He turns to the first page, and his eyes widen and his mouth pops open.

"Shit," he murmurs. "He's really alive. Why would we have been told he died? Does Jessica know about this? Has anyone called her?"

"No," Shauna says starting to calm down and regain her senses. "I need to talk to her and Lynn in private to tell them the news." I can't help but wonder if her mother already knows or if she's been deceived along with her children. I look up at Tobias, getting ready to ask his opinion, and I'm startled by what I see. The tips of his ears are bright red, his jawline is rigid, and his shoulders are tight with tension. I take his hand and drag him into the far corner away from the others.

"What is it, Tobias?" I quietly ask.

"I know exactly how she feels," he says, his words clipped and his look far away. He obviously is thinking about when his bitch mother abandoned him. It kills me that she torments him from the grave. "It's devastating to find out that someone who's supposed to love you unconditionally can abandon you without a second thought. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy let alone one of my closest friends." I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze tightly. After a beat, he encircles me in his embrace and places a soft kiss on the top of my head.

"Since you know what she's going through, you can help her through this," I say. "You have a unique perspective that no one else does."

"Tris is right," Zeke says, surprising us. Neither of us saw him approach. "If she actually saw who she thinks she saw, she's going to need you, man." He clasps his hand on Tobias' shoulder. "You know how she feels."

"You saw the file," I say.

"I know what the file says, Tris, but I guess I'm having a hard time believing it," Zeke says. "I was young when Terry died but I remember him well. He loved his family. What would make him fake his own death and leave everything behind?" Evelyn left to escape abuse at the hands of her husband. What would make a supposedly loving husband and father leave his family? I don't know.

"I'll do anything to help," Tobias says after a couple tense moments. "More than likely she'll alternate between pissed and depressed for a while. I did." I lightly run my hand up and down his back, and he looks down at me and flashes his megawatt smile, which turns my insides to mush. As I press my thighs together to control the sudden ache, I remind myself that we have a lot of work to do, and I can't get sidetracked by my sexier than hell husband right now. Not to mention, his office is full of people right now.

"Simon and Tony are bringing Hector to the conference room," I say. "We should probably go."

"Are you sure you don't want us to arrange for your mother and Lynn to meet us in the conference room as well, Shauna?" Tobias asks. "We're going to have to question your mother."

"Have them brought to my office," she says. "I'll talk to them after we talk to Hector. Once I'm finished with them, you can talk to my mom. Is that all right?"

"Absolutely," Tobias says. We all file out of Tobias' office and into the hallway where we see Zander fast approaching.

"Four, Tris, I need to talk to you," he says, somewhat out of breath. "It's important."

"We're late for an interrogation," Tobias says, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. _What could this be about?_ "Can it wait until later?"

"Um, I guess it can," he says, "but don't leave the compound until we speak."

"That sounds ominous," I say as I grab hold of Tobias' hand. He squeezes it lightly.

"It isn't anything to concern yourselves with right this moment, especially if you're busy," he says. "Just make sure you call me when you get a free moment."

"Okay," Tobias slowly says, concern clearly written on his face. "I'll call after we get this mess with the fight sorted out."

"What do you think that was all about?" I ask after we leave Zander and head toward the conference room.

"I have no idea but I know one thing, I can't handle much more unexpected news today."

"I hear ya," I say. "It's been quite stressful." I feel Tobias tense beside me, and I curse the fact that those specific words just slipped from my lips. He's going to want me to go home and lie down, and it's going to devolve into a fight, I just know it. He must guess what I'm thinking because he sighs dramatically and rakes his free hand down his face.

"Go ahead and go in, guys," Tobias tells the others. "Tris and I will be in in a moment." We watch them file past us, eyeing us suspiciously and close the door. "How are you feeling? Any nausea or dizziness?"

"No," I say. "Eating lunch helped the dizziness, and I haven't felt any queasiness so far today, although most of my morning sickness has happened in the afternoon so who knows what the rest of the day will bring."

"Let me know if you get to feeling poorly," he says. "You know how much I worry."

"I will, Tobias. I promise," I say, pleasantly surprised at how we handled the situation like grownups instead of overgrown children. "We should go inside." He scans the hallway then lowers his lips to mine for a quick kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you, too," I whisper.

"After you," he says as he holds the door for me.

"Thanks, baby," I say, slowly trailing my fingers across his abdomen as I step across the threshold. I hear him groan as he steps into the room behind me.

"Sorry for the delay, everyone," Tobias says. "Thank you for bringing Hector up so promptly, guys." He's looking Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo's way, and they each nod. "Tris or I one will message you when you can take him back to his holding cell." This captures Hector's attention, and the defiant smirk he's wearing falls away. Maybe he finally realizes how serious this is. "But right now, Shauna needs her mother and sister, Jessica and Lynn Samuels, brought to her office. Make sure they stay there until Shauna is available to speak with them. They'll want answers as to why they're being detained. Tell them Shauna will explain everything."

"Okay, Four," they say in unison then Purple-Hair adds, "We'll get right on it."

"Thanks again," Tobias says then turns his attention to the rest of us as they exit the room. "Hector, Hector, Hector," he sighs dramatically, " _what_ are we going to do with you? We need answers, and we need them now. What the hell happened in the Pit this morning?" I glance at Shauna, and she looks like she's bursting at the seams for information about their father but instead of interrupting she just sits there, mute.

" _Nothing_ ," he defiantly says, a scowl on his face. Shauna jumps to her feet, knocking her chair over in the process, and it hits the floor with a loud clatter. She pounds her open palm on the table in front of her brother making him jump.

"I've about had it with you," she screams. "I made a deal with Four, Tris, Will, and James and I intend to honor it. As long as you cooperate and answer all our questions fully and honestly, you can stay in Dauntless but if you refuse to answer or lie – and don't forget, I know when you're lying, _shith ead_ – you will live the rest of your life factionless, Hector. Now, Four asked you a question. What happened in the Pit this morning?"

"I got into a fight," he mutters. "It really wasn't a big deal."

"No big deal? I saw video, Hec. It was more than just a simple fight," she says. "Passersby stopped what they were doing and joined in the mêlée. What started it? Who all was there? Did someone actually fall or get thrown into the chasm? You better start talking."

"I swear I never saw anyone go into the chasm," he says, sounding sincere. "But I was focused on… Oh, it doesn't matter. I got into a fight. People got hurt. Do whatever you want to me, Four." Shauna gasps.

" _What the hell,_ Hector? Why won't you tell us what's going on? What are you scared of?"

"I'm not scared of anything," he hisses with typical Dauntless chutzpah.

"Then open up to me. Forget everyone else is in this room and just talk to me," she says. "I know you, little brother, and your behavior these past few weeks is not you."

"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do," he mutters. She picks up her chair and sets it beside her brother. She sits down and covers one of his hands with hers.

"I do know you," she softly says then pauses. "Where does our father fit into all this?" The understanding of what Shauna just asked sinks in, and Hector narrows his eyes at her and rips his hand away from her.

" _You_ _knew?_ " he spits, leaning towards her, his look accusatory. "You knew he was alive and you never told me? How could you?"

"I didn't _know_ ," she spits. "I only saw him with you on video a few minutes ago. It's the first time I've seen him since … since that night."

"When did you first see your dad, Hector?" Zeke asks.

"About a month before initiation started," Hector stubbornly says but gives us nothing else.

" _Hector Terrance Samuels_ , you better start talking and you better start talking right this instant," Shauna angrily says. I can tell she's getting close to her limit. I wonder if she'll wash her hands of him if he continues to hold back. "Do you _want_ to get kicked out of the only home you've ever known? Is that what you really want?"

"No," he mutters petulantly.

"Then. You. Need. To. _Talk_ ," she stresses as she reaches out and takes his hand again. They stare at each other for quite some time, the silence in the room stretching before us uncomfortably. Tobias is about ready to say something when Hector's resolve seems to fail and his shoulders visibly slump.

"It all started about two months before initiation started," Hector says, his empty eyes boring a hole into the conference room table. "One day, out of the blue, it felt like I was being watched, followed. I kept looking around but I didn't see anyone paying special attention to me but the feeling just wouldn't go away. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, convinced that someone was following me around. It didn't matter where I was, out in the city or in the compound. I talked to my friends about what I was feeling but they just brushed it off as stress because of our upcoming Choosing Ceremony so I went to Mom. But you know how she can be." Shauna solemnly nods as Hector rolls his eyes. "She made me feel stupid and paranoid. So, I tried to ignore it.

"Then about a month ago, I caught glimpse of a man lingering outside the upper levels building. At first, I didn't think much about it. Factionless are always hanging around, begging for food. But this man was different. He seemed somewhat familiar but I couldn't place him no matter how hard I tried. For several days, I watched him as he watched me. I tried to approach him a couple times to see what he wanted but each time I did he bolted like a skittish rabbit. I couldn't figure out who he was. I didn't know until he finally approached me." He pauses and takes a deep breath.

"How did you figure out who he was?" she asks.

"He told me," he says. "Imagine my surprise when the day before my aptitude test this complete stranger comes up to me and says, 'I thought I should introduce myself, Hector. I'm your father. It's been a long time.' I couldn't help it, at first, I laughed right in his face because it seemed so absurd. He didn't like that. His whole demeanor changed in an instant. He went from smiling to enraged. He's very intimidating. But what did he expect? I obviously didn't remember much about him. I was only 5 when he died … _left_." I see Shauna's expression turn to one of confusion. Maybe his account and her memories are battling.

"What did he want?" Shauna asks after a quiet moment.

"That's the thing," Hector says, "I'm still not entirely sure."

"Well, what did you two talk about?" she asks.

"We've talked a lot about the past. You know, catching up."

"You looked scared of him on the video I saw then not an hour later you got into a fight in the Pit. There's something going on you're not telling me. Hector, you know I'm your sister first and foremost. I want to help you."

"He wants me to spy on Dauntless but I'm not sure why. He's asked me so many questions," Hector finally says barely above a whisper. My brows nearly raise into my hairline at his admission. _Why would a factionless person need a spy inside Dauntless?_ "He wants to know everything about Four and Tris – what factions they came from, the state of their relationship, how many kids they have, who their enemies are." I tense further with each of his words. Sensing this, Tobias firmly grasps my hand under the table and squeezes tightly. "He wants to know if the faction is being run smoothly and if the five of you are good leaders. He keeps badgering me about the changes that have happened since you all took over. He wants to know the status of faction before blood within the compound. He also wants a detailed timetable of initiation for the past five years – test dates, fieldtrips, capture the flag, initiate days off, fear landscape practice dates, final exam times."

"But you haven't given him anything," Tobias states. Hector turns towards my husband and slowly shakes his head.

"I don't _want_ to help him, Four," he emphatically whispers. "This is my home. I don't want to betray it but it's getting harder to tell him no. At first I only saw him outside Dauntless but this morning he cornered me in a hallway."

"Why didn't you come to me, Hec?" Shauna asks. "You know I would have helped you."

"He told me not to say anything, especially to you or Lynn," he says. "I don't want to make him mad so I didn't say anything. Besides, I think he wanted to contact you on his own."

"What about Mom?" she asks. Hector shakes his head.

"He never once mentioned her. When I tried to, he scowled and changed the subject."

"I'm sorry you've had to deal with this on your own but it doesn't exactly explain why you've been acting the way you have," Shauna says.

"I don't know how to explain it," he mutters. "I just needed to lash out. I know it's not an excuse. Like I said earlier, I deserve whatever you want to do to me. But first, Tris, I never should have called you a Stiff. It's disrespectful. I have nothing against Abnegation, and I have nothing against you. I'm sorry I took my frustrations out on you."

"Apology accepted," I say.

"Four, that crack I made about you the night of dare was inexcusable. I'm surprised you had the restraint not to toss me off the train. If the roles had been reversed, I damn well would have. I know how you feel about Tris. Hell, the whole compound knows how much you love her. I know you would never hurt her. I've never had anything but the utmost respect for you but I've been taking my frustration out on you, too. I know better. I've known you for five years. You're one of the good guys.

"As for the fight this morning, I was aggravated from the confrontation with Dad. This older member who reminded me a lot of him – abrasive, hateful, conniving – bumped into me then made it out to be my fault." This actually sounds quite familiar so far based on other eye witness testimonials. "I don't remember exactly what we both said but he threw a punch and I defended myself. The next thing I knew, my friends were fighting with his and then all hell broke loose."

"Your friends?" Shauna asks.

"Yeah, Oliver, Maeve, Rose, and Jeremy," he says. "You told me to make some transfer friends so I did."

"It's nice to see you took our advice," Tobias says.

"Can I ask you something, Shauna?"

"Of course, you can," she says.

"I asked Dad why we were told he died but he wouldn't answer me," he says. "Do you know what happened?"

"I was … _stunned_ to find out he is alive. At first, I thought it was just someone who really looked like him, a brother or cousin or something. So, I decided to look at his file. It wasn't a death file. It was a factionless file, and it only said he left voluntarily. It doesn't give any other information." It's not often that I think the siblings look alike but right now they're wearing the same forlorn expression.

"Is there anything else you can tell us, Hector, even if it doesn't seem relevant?" James asks.

"He came in through the garage."

"That answers my question," I say. "We need to figure out a way to secure the garage."

"I agree," Tobias says.

"What's going to happen to me?" Hector asks. Everyone in the room looks at Tobias.

"The five of us made a deal before we came to talk to you," he says. "This _is_ your last chance, Hector. We can't have any trouble from you for the next year or you will lose your status as a member of Dauntless, given you pass initiation. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Four. Not Sir," Tobias says.

"Sorry," he says. "What should I do if I suspect trouble?"

"Come to me, day or night," Shauna says as her phone rings. She glances at it and makes a face as she rejects the call. "It's Mom. She's getting impatient no doubt. Are we done here?"

"I believe we're done with Hector unless anyone else has something they would like to bring up," Tobias says.

"I need a full written statement from you for our files," I say to Hector. "I'll take you to my office, and you can write it there."

"Shauna, just let us know when you're done with your mom and Lynn, and we'll meet back here to talk to your mom," Tobias says.

"Okay." We get up and immediately Shauna wraps her arms around Hector and hugs him tightly. "Remember, you can come to me with anything. I love you, Hec."

"I'm so sorry, Sis. I love you, too," he says. "I hate that I put you in the middle of all this. I should have trusted you instead of trying to handle everything on my own."

"No more apologies," she says. "The slate is wiped clean. This is your second chance." More like his forth but I don't say that out loud.

"Come on, Hector," I say, holding the door open for him. I quietly follow him out into the hallway then to the path to the Pire. We enter my office, and I pull a new pad of paper out of my drawer and hand it to him.

"Where do I start?"

"How about from the first time you saw your father outside upper levels," I say. "Please be as detailed as possible. This will go into Dauntless' permanent records as well as yours. And if you could print, I would appreciate it." I thank him, get up, and head to the door. When my hand touches the knob, he stops me.

"Tris, what are you going to do about my dad?" he asks. "He's going to keep approaching me."

"That's something Four, Shauna, James, Will, and I are going to discuss," I say. "Don't be surprised if we need to speak to you again in the future. You're our only link to what he wants. But rest assured, we won't make you do anything that puts you in danger or that you are uncomfortable with. That's not how we operate. I hope you know that."

"I do," he says. "Although others might not agree, Dauntless is a much better place to live now than it was when Max, Eric, and Erudite were running it. I for one don't want it to go back to the way it was." _Hhm_. That seems like a very specific thought. I hope he's not holding out on us. It would kill Shauna.

"Please be as detailed as possible with that." I nod toward the pad in front of him. "When you're finished, just leave it on my desk then you're free to go. My door will automatically lock behind you. Thanks, Hector."

"No problem." As I turn to the door I think I see a smirk turn up his lips, and I do a quick double take but he's concentrating on his statement. God, I hope we're not being played.


	31. Chapter 31

I leave my office, suspicious of Hector once again. Do I tell the others what I think I just saw or keep it to myself? Maybe I'll have Nathan pull the footage from my office and see if I actually saw him smirk behind my back. Instead of returning to the conference room, I take a detour to the control room.

"Nathan, can I talk to you?" I ask as I come up behind him.

"Talk away, Tris," he says, a big smile on his face, obviously happy to see me. I look around and instantly get uncomfortable. Too many eyes are focused on us.

"In private," I quietly say. He follows me into Zeke's office, which should only be classified as a closet.

"What can I do for you?"

"I need to look at the footage from my office from 5-10 minutes ago," I say.

"Okay," he says. He sits down on Zeke's rolling computer chair and types into the keyboard. One of the screens goes black then my office feed flickers to life. Hector is hunched over my desk diligently working on his statement. _Thank goodness._ Nathan runs the live feed backwards until I'm standing before Hector.

"Stop!" He hits another button and the footage moves forward once again. "Can you zoom in on his face for me?" He types a command and Hector and I enlarge to fill the screen. I concentrate on his face as he seems to diligently listen to my instructions. It's odd to relive my near distant past. Then there it is, a small smirk as I turn away from him. "Can you play it again?"

"Sure. What are you looking for?"

"I'm not sure to tell you the truth," I say. "Watch his face as I start to turn toward the door. Tell me what you see." I watch the feed once again, closely studying Hector's face over Nathan's shoulder.

"If you ask me he's leering at you," he says.

"My thoughts exactly," I sigh. "Can you put this on a jump drive for me?"

"Certainly," he says. He copies the footage and hands it to me.

"I need you to do something else for me," I say. "I really need you to keep this between us for now." His look turns suspicious. "Obviously, I wasn't meant to know about that look Hector gave me. He thought I'd already turned away from him. In the moment, I wasn't even sure I saw what I thought I saw. And I have absolutely no idea what that look means so please don't say anything."

"All right, Tris," he says.

"Is there a way to delete the fact that I had you look into this and copy it for me?"

"Yeah," he says. "Although if one of the programmers go looking, they could retrieve it."

"Delete it please," I say. "And thanks again. I appreciate your help. I need to get back to Four before he misses me."

"You're welcome," he says. I leave him in Zeke's office then head to the conference room but find it empty. _Hhm_. Tobias must be in his office. I double back to the Pire. I knock on his door then walk on in.

"There you are," he says. I contemplate telling him what I saw, weighing the pros and cons then remember how irritated I would get when he hid things from me even when he thought he was doing the right thing. "You have something to tell me?"

"You know me so well," I say, shaking my head. Why did I even consider not telling him? I round his desk and lean against the edge facing him.

"How do you think the meeting with Hector went?" I ask.

"I think it went well," he says, looking up at me suspiciously. "Why? Do you know something I don't know?"

"Honestly? I'm not sure," I say. "I do have something to show you though." I dig the jump drive out of my pocket and plug it into an empty port on his computer. I open the file and say, "Watch this." He leans forward and concentrates on the monitor.

"I don't see anything," he says.

"Just wait." As I turn away on the video, Tobias growls.

" _Shit!_ He's playing us. And the little bastard seemed so sincere, too."

"I don't know what to say, baby," I say. "That look is only on his face for a split second. It could be completely innocent."

"Or it could be part of a bigger plan to make us trust him then _bam_ he stabs us in the back," he says. "I'm still worried about what he said about his father wanting information about us."

"I know. That really scared me, Tobias. Why would he be asking about our kids?"

"I don't know but I plan on finding out," he says. "Where did you get the jump drive?"

"Nathan," I say. "I asked him to keep it between the two of us. He agreed."

"I wonder if he would be willing to keep an eye on Hector for us."

"I could ask him," I say, "but I'm not sure that he would be able to hide active surveillance from Zeke."

"I don't exactly want him to hide it," he says. "I was going to suggest keeping an eye on Hector before you showed me that anyway."

"Why?"

"I don't want to be duped," he says. "If it were anyone else without a connection to one of us, we'd order surveillance to corroborate his or her story. We can't become lax just because he's Shauna's brother. Does that make sense?"

"Perfect," I say. "I think the others will agree with you. It's the responsible thing to do for Dauntless."

"How are you feeling, love?" he asks as he pulls me down onto his lap and wraps his arms around me.

"I feel wonderful," I say as I gently run my fingers through his hair. "It's nice to get a minute to ourselves in the middle of the day. It happens so rarely." He cups my face and tenderly runs his thumb across my bottom lip as he gazes at me. His dancing eyes dart to my mouth then back up to mine. I lower my smiling lips to his as a knock makes us both jump. A low growl emanates from his chest which makes me giggle. "Calm down, baby."

"We can't catch a fucking break," he mutters under his breath, obviously irritated at the interruption. At least he wasn't already inside me, leaving me longing again. "I've been hard most of the day thinking about being inside you." Instead of giving up and assuming we're not here, whoever's outside knocks again.

"I'll get it," I say. I give him a quick kiss then cross the room to open the door to Will, James, Shauna, Lynn, and Jessica. "Come on in." I step aside and let them enter. Jessica and Shauna sit in the chairs opposite Tobias' desk and Will, James, and Lynn flop on the couch. I study Shauna's mother but she must be very good at hiding her emotions. Lynn on the other hand has red-rimmed eyes and dried tear trails streaking down her cheeks. My heart immediately goes out to her.

"We weren't expecting you," Tobias says.

"I figured since we were already here there was no reason to go back to the conference room," Shauna says.

"Lynn, do you want one of us to get Bailey for you?" I ask.

"Zeke went after her," she says. "But thanks, Tris. I appreciate it." Will drapes his arm over her shoulder and pulls her close. She buries her face in his neck as her body shakes with new silent sobs. I've never seen her show this level of emotion.

"Tris, here take this," Tobias says, vacating his office chair for me.

"Thanks," I say as I sit down. He stands behind the chair with a firm grip on the back of my seat.

"Jessica, I'm sure Shauna told you why we wanted to talk to you," he says.

"She did, although I still don't understand. I don't have anything to say to you," she says. Her tone isn't downright rude but it's definitely not friendly either. My hands involuntarily roll into fists in my lap. I haven't wanted to punch someone I've just met since that first visiting day with Cara.

"I told you, Mom, according to Hector, Dad was asking a lot of questions about Dauntless … Four and Tris to be specific. We need to know if you know anything."

"Shauna," she censures, "I told you I didn't know he was alive so how the _hell_ am I supposed to know why he's asking questions about _Four_ and _Tris_ ," she snits. "I haven't seen him in over 10 years when he left the apartment and never came back. I can't tell you, _any of you_ , something I don't know." It's hard to tell if she's being truthful or not. She's as bitchy as ever. I look up over my shoulder at Tobias but his eyes are on Shauna.

"I see that we've asked you to come in for questioning too soon," Tobias says. "I'll have Shauna set up a time in a couple days that works better for you. I know it must be a shock learning your husband is still alive but we need to hear what you know. There might be details that are important to our investigation that you aren't even aware you're privy to. We all would appreciate your cooperation. If not, we can always arrange a truth serum interrogation." She narrows her already hateful eyes my husbands way.

"Was threatening her necessary?" Shauna asks.

"Yes," Tobias says or maybe I should say Four.

"She doesn't always act like that, you know," Lynn says, sniffling quietly. "I think she's in shock. I know I am.".

"Have you thought you were being watched or followed lately, Lynn?" Tobias asks her.

"No," she says, shaking her head, her eyes vacant. "When Shauna told us how Hec was approached, I thought about it long and hard. If someone has been following me, they've done a good job of it. I'm not suspicious in the least." A knock on the door interrupts us, and Shauna gets up to answer it. She gives Zeke a soft kiss after he and Bailey walk into the room.

"Can I go?" Lynn asks.

"Of course," Tobias says. "If you ever want to talk, my door is always open, Lynn. I know what you're going through."

"Thanks, Four," she says. Bailey gives her a hug then takes her hand and leads her out of the room.

"How did it go telling your mom and Lynn?" Will asks Shauna.

"About as well as can be expected," she says. "Lynn was in complete shock at first then the floodgates opened and she cried the entire time, which is totally unlike her. That's why I sent Zeke to get Bailey. You did explain what was going on, didn't you, Zeke?"

"I gave her the basics thinking Lynn would want to give her the details," he says.

"But my mom had no reaction whatsoever," she says. "It could be shock like Lynn said or…"

"You think she knew he was alive this whole time," Tobias says.

"I just don't know," she says after a long pause, her eyes extremely sad. "I hate to think that my own mother has been lying to me for most of my life but I have my doubts that she's being straight with me." She looks over at Zeke who took the seat vacated by her mother. "Am I being horrible?"

"No," he says. "At the very least, she was acting … strange under the circumstances. I have my doubts, too, Sunshine." He reaches out and takes her hand.

"My mother has never been the warm, affectionate type. She's always been tough as nails. I'm sure others would call her cold. I don't even remember her crying when he died … left … _whatever_ ," Shauna sighs, "but if you tell me my husband who I thought was dead is alive after 10 years I'm either crying, raging, or celebrating or perhaps all three. I wouldn't sit there like a bump on a log."

"We'll give her a day or two to digest the news then we need to get her back in here and question her," Tobias says. "She may know nothing or she could be the key to figuring out what's going on."

"I agree," she says then glances at the clock. "Do we have any business left today?"

"No," Tobias says. "I'll see you guys back here tomorrow morning at 8:30 for a briefing. Have a good night." After saying their goodbyes, Tobias and I are left alone in his office.

"We need to call Zander," I say.

"Oh, I forgot about that," he says. He pulls his phone out and sends a quick message that we have time to talk if he does. He immediately responds, telling us he'll be here in 10 minutes.

"Want to make any guesses as to what he wants to tell us?" I ask as we sit on the couch. I snuggle into his side, my eyelids extremely heavy.

"Our early morning is catching up with you, love," he says then kisses my forehead. "Close your eyes and rest until Zander gets here."

"Okay," I mutter as I let my eyelids fall shut, not wanting to argue for once. "The babies are making me tired."

"I thought it was the fact that you were up making cinnamon rolls before 5 a.m."

"Mm, cinnamon rolls," I murmur. I feel his hands on me, caressing the exposed skin of my arm and running his fingers through my hair while he hums softly. It's a familiar tune but I'm too tired to figure out what it is. Knocking startles me awake, and I groan.

"You can finish the rest of your nap when we get home," Tobias says as he gets to his feet.

"How long was I out?" I say around a yawn.

"A little over 15 minutes." He opens the door and Zander strolls in.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he says.

"Tris was taking a quick nap so there are no worries," Tobias says.

"I'm sorry I had to wake you but this is important," Zander says. Tobias sits on the couch next to me and Zander turns one of the chairs to face us. "On Saturday afternoon, Olivia Nelson was released from the hospital." A cold chill works its way up my spine and throughout my body until I'm shuddering in Tobias' arms. "Her doctors no longer see her as a threat to herself or anyone else despite what I've told them, and the courts ordered her release. She has no restrictions. She can go where any factionless person can go. We no longer have to be notified of her whereabouts."

"She was freed Saturday?" I murmur.

"Yes," he says. My mind goes back to the garage yesterday when I saw a flash of movement or something out of the corner of my eye.

"What is it, Tris?" Tobias asks.

"It's probably nothing," I say. "I don't want to sound paranoid."

"Love? What is it?"

"When we got back to Dauntless yesterday I thought I saw someone in the garage," I say. The look on his face tells me he remembers. "I thought it was just my nerves. You know that place still makes me uncomfortable after everything that's happened there over the years. But I didn't think I really had a reason to worry. Could it have been her?"

"I don't think so," Tobias says. "But to be on the safe side I'll have Zeke look at the video from last night."

"I hate that they released her. They only told me at noon today," Zander says. "They sent me her complete file but I haven't had time to go through it because of the fight this morning but I will make it a priority between patients. Hopefully, it will give me an idea what we're up against. Tris, I'm sorry we couldn't keep her locked up but there's a possibility, although a slim one in my opinion, that the treatment worked and she's no longer a threat to herself or others."

"I'll never believe that," I say. "She tried to kill me. She almost succeeded."

"The first thing we're going to do is go home and have a nice evening with the kids," Tobias says. "Tomorrow we'll figure out a way to secure the garage. Too many breaches have happened there. Obviously, the gates aren't working."

"I have an idea," I say.

"What's that?"

"Garage doors that only open when you swipe a card like our identification card. Then there will be a record of who is coming and going. If there's a breach, we go through the records and identify the problem."

"I like that idea," Tobias says. "I think we need security like that at Dauntless 2.0 also. I don't foresee any problems but we never know. Excellent idea, love. I couldn't do this job without you."

"Don't worry. You'll never have to," I say. "Thank you for bringing this information to us so quickly, Zander. I wish we could have spoken earlier but today's been one hell of a day. The dead coming back to life, invisible people falling into the chasm, and murderers walking free." I let out an exasperated sigh then follow it up with a big yawn.

"I've got to get Tris home so she can rest before supper," Tobias says.

"The twins are kicking my butt," I say around yet another yawn. At this rate Tobias is going to have to carry me home. "Thanks again for being in our corner and trying to keep the bitch locked up. Hopefully, we're fearful for nothing."

"It doesn't hurt to be vigilant none the less," Zander says. "Don't forget your vitamins. They will help with the fatigue."

"Oh, I forgot to take them this morning."

"Go home and take them now," he instructs. "If you need anything just let me know." Tobias and I head up to our apartment after we say goodbye to Zander. When we open the door, we are met by three hyperactive kids wanting to tell us all about their day. He gets me my folic acid, iron supplement, and prenatal vitamin while I sit on the couch surrounded by our monsters.

"Mama, we watch Nemo?" Tessa asks.

"Yeah!" Teags agrees.

"Here you go, love," Tobias says, handing me the pills and a glass of water.

"Thanks."

"Are you sick?" Tyler asks, worry coloring his face.

"No, buddy, I'm not sick."

"Why are you taking medicine?" he asks with a frown. I look up at Tobias and he looks at each one of them in turn then shrugs his shoulders.

"Isn't it too early?" I ask when he sits down next to me. He clasps our hands together and kisses my knuckles.

"I don't think so besides some others know. I honestly wanted to tell family before we told friends," he says. "Kids, sit down on the coffee table. Mommy and I want to talk to you."

"Maybe you should get the pictures," I say.

"Good idea," he says. He gets up and heads into the kitchen where the ultrasound photos are.

"Well, I think I'll take off for the night," Bridget says. "All the laundry is caught up. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Bridget," I say.

"Bye!" the kids say in unison.

"Are you sure you not sick?" Tyler asks. I lean forward and cup his little face.

"Daddy and I have some news for you but it's good news," I say before peppering his face with kisses until he starts giggling. "I promise."

"Here they are," Tobias says as he comes back into the living room with the folder we hid the ultrasound pictures away in. He sits beside me and rests his hand on my knee. "Are you ready, Mommy?" He leans in and kisses the sensitive place just below my ear. "Tyler what did you ask Mommy and Daddy for not that long ago?" He frowns at us, trying to think about what he could have asked for.

"A puppy!" the girls squeal together. I should have guessed that would come up sometime tonight. He is always asking for a dog. How we've managed to put him off this long, I'll never know?

"No, not a puppy," I say.

"Aww," they say with obvious disappointment. Suddenly, Tyler's eyes light up and a huge smile brightens his face.

"I know what I asked for," he says. "A bike!" _A bike?_

"When did you ask for a bike?" I certainly don't remember that.

"He asked me," Tobias says. "This isn't going so well. How about we just tell them?"

"Okay," I say. I take his hand and lace my fingers with is. "Guys, Mommy is pregnant. Do you know what that means?"

"You got a baby in your tummy!" Tyler squeals. His excitement is so palpable that I swear he's vibrating. "Really?"

"Actually, Mommy has _two_ babies in her tummy," Tobias says.

"Two?" he says.

"I want thwee," Tessa says matter-of-factly. "One fo each us." I never in a million year would have expected _that_ reaction.

"I'm afraid there's only two, Pebbles," Tobias says and she starts pouting.

"Are they boys?" Tyler excitedly asks.

"We won't know the answer to that question for a while but Zander said you all can come that day and see new pictures of the babies."

"New?" Our boy is very smart.

"That's right," Tobias says. "Come get on our laps." Tyler squeezes his way between us and Teags climbs up on Tobias' lap while I pick up Tessa and snuggle her for a moment. He takes the pictures out of the folder, and we explain exactly what they are seeing.

"This is Button," I say as I point to the little round figure on the picture and then I slide my finger to the second shape, "and this is Bean."

"Wow," Tyler says.

"Aww," Teags sighs.

"I no see," Tessa says, staring at the picture with a frown.

"I know it's hard to see in this picture," I say. "Mommy even has trouble seeing them. It's okay, little one."

"Do you think it will be one brother and one sister?" Tyler asks.

"Yeah, bebe seeter!" Teags says, clapping her hands.

"Actually, Mommy could have two boys," this makes Tyler grin, "two girls," our girls clap and giggle at that news, "or it could be one boy and one girl," Tobias says.

"I want brothers," Tyler says. "I'll love them and they can sleep in my room." His eyes light up again and he bounces between us. "Can I name them?" Oh boy!

"We want sisters," Tessa mutters.

"Yeah, bebe seeters," Teags agrees.

"Can I please name them?" Tyler whines.

"Out of curiosity, what would you name a baby brother?" Tobias asks.

"Leonardo!"

"I should have known," I say. "Your favorite Ninja Turtle."

"Or Optimus Prime." I try really hard not to laugh but I can't hold it in. _Optimus Prime Eaton!_ I think we let the kids watch way too many movies.

"I think you guys can help us pick out names after Mommy and I narrow them down. Although Leonardo isn't bad, buddy, but it has one problem."

"What's that?" he asks.

"It doesn't start with a T. We have Tobias, Tris, Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan. Leonardo would sound funny, right?"

"Yeah, you're right," he says. "I'll work on T names."

"Okay, you do that," Tobias says.

"What about you, girls? If you could pick a girl's name what would it be?" I ask. They look at each other then back at me.

"Lily," Tessa says as Teags shouts, "Daisy."

"Hhm. I like those names a lot," Tobias says. "Maybe we can find a flower that starts with a T."

"Yeah!"

"Tiger lily," I mutter under my breath.

"What was that?" he asks.

"Nothing, _really_ ," I say. "Just a flower that starts with a T but definitely not one we would use."

"What was it?"

"Yeah, Mommy, what was it?" They all look at me expectantly.

"Tiger lily," I repeat. "And no, I'm not naming a daughter Tiger."

"That silly, Mama," Tessa says.

"I'll come up with a girl name, too," Tyler says. "It will be gooder than Tiger."

"Better than," Tobias corrects. "I'm pretty sure anything is better than Tiger."

"I don't know," I say. "There are some downright awful names out there. Let's not worry about naming Button and Bean right now. I'd rather eat something."

"Who wants pizza for supper?" Three eager hands shoot up. "How would you three like to come with me to pick out supper? Mommy needs to rest for a little bit." They excitedly agree. "Go potty, give Mommy kisses, then wait for me by the door." They all run toward the powder room and Tobias sits next to me. "Optimus Prime? I almost fell over."

"And he was so serious," I chuckle.

"You want to know something. I kind of like the name Leonardo."

"I do, too. And Lily. I think that's why I said tiger lily."

"Leo and Lily," Tobias says. "Hhm. Too bad we already decided on T names. That would be cute for a boy and girl."

"Yeah, it would."

"Bye, Mommy," Tyler says as he comes back into the room. "Look, I washed my hands!" He holds out his arms, which are leaving a trail of water behind him.

"You sure did," I say. "But I think you forgot to dry them." He looks at his hands then wipes them on is pants. "Come here." I grab him up in a hug then receive the sweetest kiss.

"I love you, Mommy," he whispers against my ear.

"I love you, too."

"I'm happy about the babies," he says. "I wish they are brothers though. Is that okay?"

"Of course, it's okay but I don't want you to be too disappointed if it's sisters," I say.

"I'll only cry once," he says. He then leans over and kisses my tummy. "Bye, babies. I'll wait by the door."

"Get your shoes on," Tobias says. Next Tessa runs into the living room and straight to me. She gives me a big kiss then hugs me tightly.

"Love you."

"Love you, too," I say. "Go wait with Tyler by the door."

"I done," Teags says as she saunters into the room, not a care in the world. "Bye-bye, Mama. Lub 'ou!"

"I love you, too," I say. "Have fun with Daddy. Pick out good pizza."

"I will," she says. "Kiss." I lean over and she wraps her arms around my neck and sloppily kisses me on the mouth. "See 'ou wader gador!"

"After while crocodile!" She giggles up a storm.

"Come on, Dadda!" she pleads.

"Okay!" he says then looks back at me. "Rest while we're gone. You've had a long day. And before you know it, we'll be back with fresh, hot pizza." He leans in for a soft quick kiss then follows the kids.

"Bye, guys! I'll see you later." I watch them walk out into the hallway, waving the entire way then lie down on the couch. I pull the grey fuzzy throw up to my shoulders and close my eyes. I don't think I'll be able to rest because of my earlier nap but, soon, I fall into a peaceful sleep.


	32. Chapter 32

"You have to be quiet, Pebbles," I hear Tobias say in a hushed tone. "Mommy is still sleeping." I lift my head and look around the dimly lit living room but don't see anyone. They must be in the kitchen since a mouth-watering scent is coming from there.

"I want my _mama_ ," Tessa indignantly says and I grin. I can actually hear her pouting.

"Tessa Beatrice Eaton, you come back here this instant," he whisper yells and I can't help but giggle. Not even a second later she comes running into the room. Her eyes light up when she sees me.

"Mama!" she calls out. I swing my legs over the side of the couch just as she propels herself into my outstretched arms.

"Hi, little one," I whisper in her ear, my voice still thick with sleep, as I hug her tightly to my chest.

"We gots pizza and I hungwy, Mama," she poutily says, her bottom lip sticking out. "I eat?"

"Tessa, I told you to be quiet. We'll eat soon," Tobias whispers as he comes into the room, Teagan in his arms and Tyler trailing behind them. They stop and smile happily when they see me.

"You 'wake!" Teags squeals.

"So it would seem," I say as I get to my feet.

"Did she wake you up?" Tobias sternly asks.

"No, she didn't," I fib.

"All right. How are you feeling, love?" he asks. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"The nap was wonderful. I actually feel refreshed," I say. "And _very_ hungry."

"Me, too," Tessa whines.

"Well you can finally eat, little one," I say, kissing the side of her head. "Something sure does smell wonderful."

"Well, you're just in luck. The pizzas and breadsticks are done and the table is set."

"I help," Tessa says, still hanging on to me for dear life.

"That's a good girl," I say.

"Me, too," Tyler and Teags say at the same time.

"I'm proud of you two also," I say, ruffling Tyler's hair then kissing Teags' cheek. "So what kind of pizza did you guys pick out?"

"We picked extra cheese for me and Tess and Teags," Tyler says then he frowns. "What did you get again, Daddy?"

"Pineapple and Canadian bacon for me and Mommy."

"Oh, my favorite!" I say. When I pass Tobias on the way to the dining room, I place a soft kiss on his cheek. "Thank you. That was very sweet of you."

"That's me, Mr. Sweet," he says, a cocky grin on his handsome face. "You're very welcome, love. All right, guys. Let's eat." The food is perfect, as is the company and conversation. I'm not entirely sure what comes over me but I eat over half our pizza and still feel ravenous.

"Baby, do we have any fruit?" I ask. "I'm still hungry." I start to get up but Tobias sets his hand on my forearm.

"I got some mixed fruit when we went to the store," he says. "I'll get you some. Does anyone else want a bowl?"

"Peas!" Tessa and Teags say and Tyler just eagerly nods.

"Coming right up."

"So, you guys asked about a movie earlier," I say even though my eyes follow Tobias around the kitchen. "Do you still want to watch _Finding_ _Nemo_?" They all agree and hurry through the rest of the meal excited to see one of their favorite movies.

"Mama, we watch Dory next?" Tessa asks before the first movie even begins.

"We only have time for one movie tonight," I say as I look at the clock. "Do you want Nemo or Dory?"

"Nemo!" they all say at once.

"Good choice," I say as I hold the remote out in front of me. "Everyone ready?" Teags is stretched out on the couch leaning against her dad who has his arm wrapped loosely around her. Tyler is leaning against me and Tessa is reclined in my lap.

"Yes, Mama," Tessa says as Tyler says, "Yep!"

"Yeah! Nemo!" Teags says clapping then she wraps both arms around Tobias' and grins at the TV. I hit the play button, and we all sit back and relax. Within an hour all three of them are fast asleep but we don't want to move them for fear they'll wake up and not go back to sleep for hours, so Tobias and I finish the movie. We both struggle not to laugh out loud too much. This is one of the funniest movies we have. I'm not surprised that Tobias had it even before we had kids.

"I'll take this one upstairs and get her ready for bed then I'll be back for Tyler," Tobias quietly says as the credits roll.

"Take your time," I murmur. "I'm not going anywhere." He bends down and kisses my forehead before turning around and disappearing around the corner. I gently run my fingers through Tyler's hair with one hand and softly stroke my fingertips up and down Tessa's back with the other. I love quiet moments like this, knowing my kids are safe, happy, and healthy. There's no better feeling in the world.

After a while, my mind drifts back over our hectic day and everything we learned. I still don't know what to think of Jessica and Hector. I guess only time will tell if they prove to be trustworthy or not. The chasm was searched multiple times and no body was found so either someone survived the fall and made their way out or the eye witnesses who insist that someone fell in in the first place are wrong. But the most disturbing news of the day came from Zander. I still can't believe that the bitch was released from the hospital. I honestly thought we would win this battle but, apparently, she's got friends in high places. I still can't believe that with her background they just let her walk. At the very least, she should be jailed for her crimes.

"What's that look for?" Tobias asks, startling me out of my reverie. "You look upset."

"Just thinking back over everything that happened today."

"Olivia?" he asks.

"Yeah. That hurts the most. She had to have duped someone. We need to be vigilant, Tobias."

"I agree," he says. "But we can't let her ruin our life. She's in the past. We both know what she is so we just need to be careful."

"You're right," I say. "There's no need to worry needlessly. Neither of us need the extra stress."

"No, we don't, especially you," he says. He shuts off the TV then comes to the couch and picks up Tyler who lets out a soft groan but, thankfully, doesn't wake up. I manage to get to my feet without disturbing Tessa and follow Tobias upstairs. I go straight into our bedroom, and Tobias continues down the hallway to Tyler's room. I get Tessa out of her clothes and into her PJs without waking her then put her in her crib. I kiss her head then Teagan's and pick up the monitor on my way out of my bedroom. I hear soft voices when I get to Tyler's room.

"I'm glad I might get a brother, Daddy," Tyler is saying. His words are slightly slurring one into the next, so I know he's half asleep.

"You know what? If I had my way, you would get a baby brother and your sisters would get a baby sister. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way."

"It'll be okay if they are girls," he says after a moment. "I'll love them anyway." I can't help but melt at his statement. I must make a noise alerting them to my presence.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says with a sleepy grin.

"Hello, my sweet boy," I say. "I came to tuck you in." He sits up and wraps his arms around me for a big hug.

"I love you, Mommy," he says then yawns. "I love you, Daddy."

"Mommy and Daddy love you, too, buddy … to the moon and back. You better lie down and go back to sleep." He does as I ask, and I tuck him in snuggly. "Goodnight. Sleep tight." Tobias and I both kiss his forehead, I turn on his nightlight, and then we noiselessly pad out into the hallway hand-in-hand.

"Would you like to go downstairs or to the rooftop deck?" Tobias asks after he takes me in is arms. I run my fingertips up his sculpted biceps and rest my hands on his shoulders.

"Isn't it still hot outside?" I ask. "Let's go downstairs and maybe we can cool down with some ice cream."

"I'm always up for dessert," he mutters sexily. He lowers his lips to mine and enthusiastically kisses me until I'm breathless and throbbing almost painfully in my sex. The fire he sparked this morning is back and smoldering with a vengeance.

"You go downstairs without me," I say as I pull away, panting. "I've got to use the bathroom."

"Okay," he says.

"I won't be too long," I say.

"Take your time, love," he says. After another quick kiss, he starts down the stairs, and I go through our bedroom and into the bathroom. I turn the light on and quickly relieve myself. I look longingly at the shower, really wanting to wash off the long day. I quickly peel off my clothes, drop them in the hamper, and step into the glass enclosure. I take what has to be the quickest shower in the history of showers then put on a pair of little black and white polka dot cotton sleep shorts and a matching camisole. Before searching out Tobias, I run a wide tooth comb through my tangled tresses and thoroughly brush my teeth. I turn off the lights then make my way out into the hallway.

I start for the staircase when I notice the laundry room door ajar about a foot. Anxiety blooms in my chest as I detour down the hallway. I step up to the door and open it a fraction more. I look into what I'm expecting to be a dark room but see dim, flickering light coming from the rooftop sunroom. _I thought you went downstairs._ I slowly ascend the spiral staircase, my body readying for battle with each step. I logically know that no one can reach our rooftop oasis without coming through the apartment but I'm still apprehensive about what I'll find.

When I reach the landing, I stop dead in my tracks, befuddled. The normally unremarkable glass-walled room has been transformed into one of the most romantic places I've ever seen. Dancing candlelight is reflecting off of every available surface from the dozens of lit votives and tealights flickering throughout the room. On the table in front of the wicker couch we've never used sits a bottle of sparkling cider on ice and two champagne flutes. Beside it sits two bowls filled with what looks like hot fudge sundaes that are slowly starting to melt. Tobias obviously hasn't heard me because he's standing at the far side of the room between the now open glass panels staring out at the lit cityscape. I softly pad up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist.

"What's all this?" I ask as I kiss the back of his neck.

"I thought we could use a romantic evening just the two of us," he says as he turns in my arms. His smile automatically falls. "What's wrong, love?" He looks down at me, worry in his soulful eyes as he grazes his fingertips up and down my jawline.

"I think the news of the bitch being released from the hospital affected me more than I thought. Finding the laundry room door ajar made my thoughts … run wild," I say, burying my head in his chest embarrassedly. He tightens his arms around me, and I smile when I feel his lips in my hair. "Logically, I knew it had to be you up here but I still worried."

"I'm sorry I frightened you," he says. "I thought I'd come up and check out the weather. I know it's still on the warm side but I thought we could cool down in the hot tub." I tilt my head back and look up at him, my brows raised.

"Aren't you _literally_ contradicting yourself there?"

"No," he chuckles. _God, I love his laugh._ "I turned the thermostat down. It's actually a very pleasant, almost cool temperature now."

"But I'm not supposed to." I know hot tubs and pregnancy don't mix from the first one.

"I talked to Zander," he says. "As long as we keep your body temperature below 102 it's safe and since I turned the temperature all the way down it's no more dangerous than a bath."

"I will admit, sitting in the hot tub with you does sound nice and relaxing but we better eat the sundaes before they totally melt."

"How could I have forgotten about them?" he murmurs. He takes my hand and leads me to the couch. We sit side-by-side, and he hands me one of the bowls before picking up his own. I immediately dig in and moan.

"This tastes so good," I say. "Thanks, baby. You sure know how to treat a girl right."

"I know how to treat _my_ girl right," he says. I caress his jawline, the stubble rough beneath my fingertips. Then I lean in and press my lips to his. When the kiss intensifies, I thrust my tongue into his mouth. He tastes like chocolate, vanilla, cherry and, of course, Tobias – four of my favorite flavors. We part, both of us breathing forcefully, and we finish our tasty treat.

"This was so sweet of you," I say as I set my now empty bowl on the coffee table. I look around the room while I wait for Tobias to finish his dessert. The yellowish-orange flames dance on the gentle breeze casting a romantic glow on every surface. After setting his empty dessert dish aside, he leans forward and takes the cider bottle out of the ice and pops the cork, sending a wave of sparkling cider cascading into one of the flutes. He hands it to me then pours himself a glass. He recorks the bottle and shoves it back into the ice bucket.

"To us," he simply says, raising his glass in toast.

"To us," I repeat as I gently touch my glass to his with a delicate clink then we each take a sip. The sweet bubbles explode on my tongue, causing me to giggle.

"God, I love that sound, and I love you very much, Mrs. Eaton." Butterflies flutter in my tummy at his loving words.

"I love you, too, Mr. Eaton," I say, "more than you'll ever know."

"Believe me. I know." Tobias gets to his feet and holds his hand out to me and says, "Join me."

"It would be my pleasure," I say as I put my free hand in his. He pulls me to my feet then guides me out onto our rooftop deck. I blindly follow him around the corner to the hidden hot tub platform, which is surrounded by more lit candles. "You've thought of everything, haven't you?"

"I tried." He takes my champagne flute and sets it aside.

"I don't have a suit," I breathily say, gazing up at him.

"We don't need swimsuits," he says. He steps closer and lifts my cami up and off my body. He drops it to the ground then proceeds to pull my sleep shorts down my legs. He peppers my tummy with sweet kisses as I step out of the pajama bottoms and kick them away. He stands up and leisurely runs his eyes up and down my body. "You are perfection." I blush as he continues gawking.

"You have too many clothes on," I say. He reaches for his shirt but I shake my head. "Allow me." In less than one minute, he's standing before me in all his naked glory. I dart my tongue out and moisten my suddenly parched lips. "Just one look and you take my breath away."

"I feel the same way," he says. "Come here." I take his hand, once again, and he leads me up the stairs to our hot tub then down into it.

"Oh my!" I say the moment my toes hit the cool water. "I guess I was expecting it to be on the warm side but it's not. It's almost cold." I sink down into the water and let out a pleasurable sigh. It's not too hot and it's not too cold either … it's just right.

"What are you laughing about?" he asks as he settles into the bench beside me.

"Just call me Goldilocks," I chuckle and he looks at me like I'm crazy. "The water isn't too hot and the water isn't too cold. It's just right." He laughs at my poor attempt at humor, which makes me smile. "I'm so glad I met you, Tobias. You let me be me."

"I'm glad I met you, too, love," he says. "I don't even want to imagine my life without you."

"Never imagine that. You'll never have to experience it because you're stuck with me." A smile slowly turns up his lips brightening his whole face.

"You," he says, looking like he's at a loss for words. "I love you."

"I love you." I reach behind us and get our glasses of cider. "Here you go."

"Thanks," he says.

"I'm glad you checked the weather," I say. "It's actually a lovely night, especially factoring in the water temperature."

"The minute I slid the panels into place and felt the breeze, I thought the swimming pool would feel nice. I knew we haven't used the hot tub in a while so I checked it. I thought it was perfect."

"It is," I say as I finish the last of my cider. I set the empty glass with his out of the way then lean back and relax into the jets that are hitting my lower back in just the right way.

"How about I give you a massage?" Tobias asks. As good as the forced water feels I know my husband's hands would feel even better.

"I would love that," I say. He pulls me between his spread legs and sits me in front of him on the wide seat.

"Do you have a hair tie?" he asks.

"No." He pulls a basket of miscellaneous items that sits on a shelf closer to him and rummages through it.

"I think I saw one earlier when I was lighting the candles," he says as he hands me a neon pink scrunchy.

"Thanks." I twist my hair up into a messy knot on the top of my head and wrap the scrunchy around it to secure it in place.

"There's something incredibly sexy about your neck and shoulders being bare," Tobias says as he places a smattering of kisses over my naked skin. He places his big hands on my shoulders and kneads the tired muscles firmly. I hang my head forward, enjoying the feel of his hands on me as the water roils around us.

"You're going to spoil me." I can't help my moan; it feels so damn good.

"Would that be so bad?" he asks, chuckling softly, as he moves his hands up to rub my neck.

"No," I murmur. "I like it when you spoil me." After a couple minutes, he moves his hands to the top of my arms and massages his way down to my fingertips. I lean back, melting into Tobias' chest so relaxed. My head falls back onto his shoulder as he moves his hands to my hips. He strokes the soft flesh with his long fingers then glides his hands up my body to cup my breasts.

"What are you doing, baby?" I ask as though I don't know.

"Nothing," he mutters as he starts gently manipulating the sensitive mounds. My breath catches in the back of my throat when he pinches my aching nipples then grazes his thumbnails over their pebbled peaks.

"Oh, God!" I gasp.

"Does that feel good?"

"Mm-hmm." He continues playing with my breasts, rolling my nipples through his nimble fingers, pinching them until I feel the sharp ache between my thighs, gently tugging on them until I think I'm going to come. "Don't stop, baby. _Oh, God!_ Please don't stop." I moan so loudly I momentarily wonder if passersby on the street can hear me but the thought quickly evaporates when he changes up his touch once again. He keeps a palm on my right breast, giving the right amount of friction to the sensitive bud, driving me crazy, and lightly drags his other hand down my stomach and between my thighs. My legs fall open of their own accord when I feel his fingertips seeking my throbbing nubbin. My breath comes fast and hard as he circles the highly sensitive bundle of nerves with two rough fingers. I curse under my breath as he speeds up his ministrations. I go to close my legs on his incessant digits when the sensation is nearly too much to handle but he loops his ankles over mine, keeping my legs spread wide. He lightly runs his lips up and down my neck, placing soft kisses here and there while my core clenches around nothing. "So close."

"Do you want to come, love?" he murmurs in my ear.

" _Yes_ ," I plead. "Make me come, baby. Make me come." He continues to massage my breast as he thrusts two fingers deep inside me. I cry out as his thumb presses on my nubbin. He starts roughly circling the bundle of nerves, and I cry out as my channel clamps down on his digits. My body tries to arch away from his but his firm grip keeps me in place as he carries me through my orgasm. He slows his fingers when I'm sated and removes them from my body as he continues kissing, licking, and biting my neck. I take his hand away from my sore breast while I sit panting in front of him.

"You're absolutely stunning when you come," he murmurs in my ear. I turn my head to thank him for the compliment, and the words die on my tongue. He's looking at me with a predatory gaze. I yelp when he suddenly picks me up and turns me in his arms. The buoyancy of the water allows him to easily maneuver me so that I'm straddling his lap. He crashes his mouth into mine and kisses me ferociously, like he hadn't tasted me in years and is starving for my touch. The pent-up frustration from being denied release earlier today seeps in as his tongue ferociously sweeps my mouth.

"Hey! Slow down, baby," I murmur against his lips. "We have all night."

"I don't think I do," he says as he grabs my hand and moves it between us. "I want you so much." He's hard as steel, hot to the touch, engorged painfully by the look in his eyes, and throbbing with need. "I can't wait. I _need_ to be inside you now then we can slow down." He lifts me off his lap and sets me beside him on my knees facing away from him. He stands beside me and reaches in front of me like he's searching for something. "I hope you'll like this," he mutters in my ear. "If it gets to be too much, let me know." I wonder what he's talking about as he moves me to our right about four inches and am about to ask when a powerful stream of water shoots out and pounds my throbbing nubbin, stealing all the breath from my body leaving me gasping for oxygen.

" _Holy fuck!_ " I try to move away from the well-aimed jet but he firms up his grip on my hips, being mindful not to squeeze too tightly. He places his body between my spread legs and thrusts inside me fully in one powerful drive. I cry out from the forcefulness of his possession, and he groans in my ear as he stills, buried deeply inside me. I usually relish the feeling of when we first become one but the punishing stream battering my already sensitive bundle of nerves is all I can concentrate on at the moment. A crushing orgasm tears through my body from out of nowhere, making me quiver nearly uncontrollably. I scream Tobias' name as my sex clamps around him, seemingly trying to either draw him in completely or expel him from my body.

"You have no idea how tight you are when you come," he groans as he starts to frantically move in and out. "It feels like you're trying to squeeze my cock off, love." He keeps that stream of water hitting me just so as he pummels my sex. I swear I have an out of body experience. I've heard of multiple orgasms and I know Tobias has given me my fair share during a single sexual encounter, but this is different. Just when I think the climax is relenting, my walls start quivering and they clamp down on his thick shaft again and it starts all over. I've never felt anything like it. It's the most amazing thing I've ever felt and yet it's almost painful and quickly becoming too much for me to handle.

"Too much. Too much," I chant.

"I'm going to come, love," he says. "Come with me." His words trigger a final cataclysmic explosion, which I swear makes me blackout or float away or _something_. I'm definitely not on the same plane of existence any more. I feel Tobias moving me away from the torturous spray but my body is still in the throes of a seemingly unending orgasm. He tenderly kisses my neck as my body convulses around his.

"That. Was. _Incredible_ ," I breathlessly pant. "But I'm not sure I can allow you to touch me again for the rest of our lives. I had no idea water could be so … _potent_. I'm not sure I've come that many times total, _ever_."

"We should probably go inside. The way you were screaming my name was sexy as fuck but it's probably going to bring the patrol officers to our door to investigate. I'm sure if anyone actually heard us they think I'm up here murdering you."

"You go inside without me. I don't think I can walk just yet." _Hell, maybe I'll never walk again_. I rest my head on my folded arms as my body continues to shake and shudder with mini explosions. _What did he do to me?_

"Are you all right, love?" His voice sounds troubled. "Shit. Did I hurt you?" I turn my head and look at him. His Four mask is in place, which pains me. I give him the best smile I can muster.

"That was the single greatest sexual experience of my life, Tobias Eaton," I breathlessly say. "But you wore me out. Not to mention my body feels like it's in a perpetual state of orgasm. The next time we're in the shower I'm using the handheld shower wand on you to make you come a thousand times." He runs his fingertips up my spine causing me to shiver.

"I'm good but I'm not good enough to make you come a thousand times."

"You wanna bet? I think you ruined me." He actually chuckles at that because he knows I'm teasing him.

"Let me get you to bed," he says. "I can tell you're exhausted."

"That's 'cause you just tried to kill me with sex."

"It would be a hell of a way to go."

"Yeah, it would," I murmur. I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open, and the next thing I know Tobias is gently lying me down in our bed. I want to argue but he convinced me that he already dried me off. _Hhm. I don't remember that._ He reaches up and takes the knot out of my hair and combs through the tangled mess with his fingers. He disappears for either minutes or hours then I realize he's slathering my still naked body with my moisturizing lotion. When his fingertips graze my swollen breasts, I gasp.

"It's okay, love."

"No more, baby," I mutter. "Not tonight. No more." I want to raise my hands and push his fingers away, but my body is no longer acting like my own.

"Of course, Tris," he quietly says, his lips against my ear. "I'm just putting your lotion on. Go back to sleep."

"Love you."

"I love you, too," he says. He softly presses a kiss to my forehead as he settles the sheet over my naked body. Even the luxurious thread count feels too much for my over stimulate body and I groan.

"Too much," I moan. Tobias pulls the sheet away from me and I sigh contentedly. He slides into bed beside me and pulls me close but not too close.

"I'll keep the door locked for you tonight. We don't want Tyler wandering in," he says. I turn my lips towards his and he kisses me tenderly. "Sleep well, my love."


	33. Chapter 33

I don't know how but I'm 100% confident that I'm dreaming. I'm being violently tossed around in the swells of a large, angry body of water like an insignificant rag doll. Just before another wave crashes down on me, I see Tobias' and my beloved lighthouse in the distance, a bright yellow-tinged light pulsing like a steady heartbeat in the storm-darkened sky. After I struggle to the surface, I gasp in several much-needed breaths and try to swim towards safety before yet another wave rolls over me, pulling me down.

I wake with a start, my upset stomach churning violently. I groan loudly as I roll over and hurriedly climb out of my warm bed. I cover my mouth, breathing as evenly as possible as I run to the bathroom. I hit the switch on the wall and blink back against the soft white light that fills the room as I fall to my knees in front of the toilet just in time to empty the contents of my rolling stomach. I don't know how long I'm kneeling here, retching into the porcelain basin, when Tobias comes in. He immediately squats down beside me and gathers my bed knotted hair in a ponytail at the back of my head to get it out of the way. I'm thankful he's here to help me but I absolutely hate that he has to see me this way. It's embarrassing. Once my stomach totally empties and the dry heaving stops, he helps me to my feet, puts the seat down, and flushes the toilet.

"Are you okay, love?" he asks.

"Honestly, I'm not sure yet," I mutter as I sit down, the room precariously tilting then spinning. I lean over and put my head between my knees and breathe deeply and smoothly. "I just want to sit here."

"Can I get you anything?" he asks as he tenderly runs his hand up and down my back.

"I could use some ginger ale," I murmur, my voice muffled by my position. Thankfully, it's helping the vertigo but it's not doing a thing for my poor stomach. I hate nausea.

"Okay. I'll get you a glass," he says. "Will you be okay up here by yourself while I go get you some?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I say.

"Okay. I'll be right back." He kisses the top of my head then I hear his soft footsteps leave the room. I stay in the same position until I'm absolutely certain I'm no longer nauseated and the room is no longer spinning then I get up, brush my teeth, and rinse my mouth, twice.

I slowly pad into our bedroom and look at the clock on Tobias' nightstand. I see that our alarm is set to go off in 30 minutes so I switch it off. _Ugh! What a way to be woken up._ That's definitely a new one. I thought maybe I was going to get off easy this pregnancy with the morning sickness or puke whenever the babies thinks it's funny sickness, whatever you want to call it but the past three days have been horrendous. I can't keep anything down and it seems like I'm always nauseated. I should climb back into bed but it doesn't look nearly as inviting without Tobias in it to keep me company, and I'm wide awake now anyway, so I head toward the door but stop when I hear whimpering through the baby monitor.

I immediately detour into the nursery and find Teags lying in the middle of her crib, quietly keening in her sleep. I lightly run my hand soothingly over her back but it does nothing to quiet her so I pick her up without managing to wake her then I sit down in one of the twin rocking chairs. I gently rock with her, rubbing little circles on her back and she finally stops mewling. I press my lips to her forehead checking for a fever but she's not warm. She must have been dreaming. _I wonder what would make her cry like that._ My poor baby girl. Maybe she's picking up on the tension her father and I have been under. It's been one hell of a long week.

Shortly after we went to bed Monday night, the doorbell woke me up. Thankfully Tobias hadn't fallen asleep yet, and he was able to make it downstairs before the noise woke the kids up. I managed to slip into my robe despite the over stimulated nature of my body and followed behind him. I honestly wished I wouldn't have. It was Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo checking in on us. Just as we thought, several people wanted patrol to do a welfare check on me. I don't know who was more embarrassed when we explained the noises being heard was just sex and not homicide, them or us. With as red as their faces got, I'd bet money it was them. We had to promise to keep it down from now on.

After learning that the bitch was released from the hospital over the weekend, we asked Zeke to assign someone trustworthy to scan the surveillance feeds surrounding the compound for any sign of her. He put Murphy on it, and on three separate occasions, she was seen loitering on Dauntless property, which is a no-no for a factionless person. Although what are you going to do, make them even _more_ factionless? Once she was seen in the little park near Dauntless 2.0 then twice she was seen near the entrance to the garage. Unfortunately, Murphy hasn't found any sign of her on video inside the compound but I'm convinced that when I felt eyes on me last Sunday when we were bringing the kids back from my parents' house she was there watching us. No matter what anyone else thinks, I know she hasn't changed. A leopard _can't_ change its spots.

Tuesday afternoon, we scheduled an appointment with Erudite to have an engineer and architect come Wednesday morning to look at the garage entrance. We've had entirely too many security breaches there. They are drawing up plans for keycard-enabled garage doors to be installed as soon as possible. It's likely some structural changes will have to made to get this done but it's imperative that we close off one of the ways intruders are entering the compound. We were reluctant to enlist Erudite's help in something as sensitive as the security of our faction so I called Caleb and asked for his advice. He understood our hesitance, and he gave me the names of the architect and engineer. We've yet to schedule a follow-up meeting but they promised plans early next week.

For his part in the Pit fight, Hector was assigned to do two hours of maintenance duty in the cafeteria after the supper rush until initiation is over, and Rose, Oliver, Maeve, and Jeremy were each assigned one hour for two weeks for their roles. The five of us felt like we couldn't look the other way this time. That would have given the rest of the initiates as well as all the members of the faction the impression that if you have a personal relationship with a member of leadership you can do as you please and that's just not true. Hector didn't take the news very well but his mother was livid.

We finally sat down with Jessica Thursday afternoon. Tobias and I wanted to speak to her alone to see what we could get out of her but she wouldn't hear of it. She insisted that Shauna be present or she wouldn't cooperate. We finally relented but she didn't exactly cooperate anyway. She didn't have much to say about her husband other than what we already knew, and she insisted she didn't know he was alive, in contact with her son, or coming into the faction. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her and Tobias agrees. But she did unload about what she called "unfair behavior" toward her baby. She doesn't like that Tobias and I put him with the transfers for the remainder of initiation as a learning tool. She doesn't like that transfers are training him, which made me roll my eyes. One half of the Dauntless-born instructor team is a transfer. She doesn't like his choice of new friends even though it was Shauna and Lynn who encouraged him to interact with them. She thinks it's unfair he was given punishment for the fight in the Pit, stating it was the yet unknown victim/assailant who instigated the whole thing. It's still very hard to judge that particular situation since we've yet to find out who Hector fought with. Some call him Hec's victim while others say he was the aggressor and Hector was just defending himself. She also hinted that she doesn't like our leadership abilities but didn't come straight out and say it. I could tell that Shauna was embarrassed by her mother's behavior but if she confronted her it was after they left.

My mind drifts from our hectic, troubled week to Tobias. Between the near constant nausea and the debilitating fatigue, we haven't been together since the hot tub Monday night. At first, I didn't really care because my body was entirely too sensitive to entertain any more intimate activity after the water torture he subjected me to that night but the truth is I miss him and my pregnancy hormones are making me incredibly horny. _Stupid screwed up hormones._ I've even planned some quality alone time for just the two of us Saturday night ... _if_ I start feeling better that is. It's time for a little payback, and I've thought of a few ways to torture him.

"There you are, beautiful," Tobias quietly says, interrupting my reverie. He certainly knows how to put a smile on my face even though I know I'm not the stunning creature he always makes me out to be, especially after he saw me face down in the toilet not a half hour ago, literally heaving my guts out. "I was wondering where you ran off to." He's holding a plate of what looks like toast in one hand and a tall glass of ginger ale in the other. "Is she okay?"

"I think she was having a bad dream," I say. "I was getting ready to go downstairs when I heard her through the monitor."

"Our poor girl," he says as he sets the plate and glass down on the small table beside me. "Here, let me take her so you can eat." He carefully lifts her off my chest and onto his, and she starts whining again.

"Sshh," he softly murmurs.

" _Dadda?_ "

"Go back to sleep, baby girl," he whispers in her ear while rubbing her back. "I've got you." She sighs then closes her eyes, a smug little grin on her cherubic face knowing that her daddy is holding her. I shake my head at the nearly identical expression Tobias is wearing. It's a good thing my hormones aren't riled up like my stomach at the moment or I'd probably be in tears right now, irrational as they may be. I watch him rock with Teags as I nibble on the cold toast and sip the room temperature ginger ale hoping I can keep it down. Movement across from me catches my attention and I see Tessa rubbing her eyes. I motion to Tobias, point her way then put my finger in front of my lips, signaling him to stay quiet. He nods, letting me know he understands. I practically hold my breath hoping she'll go back to sleep. It's too early for any of the kids to be up. Unfortunately, she sits up and when she sees Tobias and me sitting here, she grins widely.

"Out, Mama," she says. She stands up by the railing and holds her arms out to me.

"Okay," I softly say as I get up. "I need you to be quiet so sissy doesn't wake up. She was having a bad dream."

"Otay," she whispers somewhat on the loud side but at least she's trying. I lift her out of her crib and sit back down. We gently rock and she snuggles closer to me. After a few minutes, she raises her hand and waves at Tobias who is making funny faces at her.

"Good morning, Pebbles."

"Hi, Dadda," she says with a giggle. "I gotsta potty, Mama."

"Okay." I let her off my lap and she runs towards the bathroom.

"Oh, to have that much energy first thing in the morning," Tobias chuckles. I follow after her into the bathroom and find her already sitting on the potty chair.

"Good job, little one," I say as I squat down in front of her. "You're doing such a good job. You haven't had one accident since we got you the big girl panties." She beams at the praise.

"I big giwl," she says.

"You sure are, my sweet girl," I say. After making sure she's done, I clean her up then pull up her pajama bottoms. Suddenly, a wave of heat rolls over my body and my stomach twists. I slowly breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth as yet another wave of nausea crashes over me then I stumble onto my knees causing Tessa to jump back.

"Mama you otay? _Mama?_ " I hear her fear and feel her worried eyes but can't answer as moisture floods my throat. I know what's coming next so I quickly scamper across the floor to the toilet. " _Dadda, Dadda, Dadda,_ " Tessa screams as she runs out of the room. I hear shuffling and urgent utterances as I tightly grip the porcelain bowl and let loose the toast and ginger ale. For the second time this morning, Tobias rushes into the room and kneels down beside me to hold my hair back. After I'm totally exhausted and the queasy urge passes, I lean up against the tub. It just seems closer, although in reality it probably isn't.

"Are you okay, Tris?" Tobias asks. He wets a washcloth then hands it to me.

"I will be," I murmur as I wipe my mouth.

"I should take you to the infirmary," he worriedly says.

"I don't think that's necessary, Tobias. It's just morning sickness," I sigh. "I'm feeling better now."

"I'm so sorry, love. I hate seeing you this way, and I have to admit, I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. I'm sure it's completely normal under the circumstances."

"I know," he says as he rubs my not quite so flat belly. I stood in front of the mirror yesterday morning while Tobias was in the shower, studying it from every angle. I don't think it will be long before I'm showing and then we won't be able to keep it a secret. I see Tessa and Teags poke their heads into the room, matching fretful looks on their little faces.

"It's okay, girls," I say. "You don't have to be scared."

"Mama sick," Tessa says looking at Teags. I notice they're holding hands and I swear my heart nearly stops. I don't want my kids unnecessarily worrying about me, too.

"You're right. We should stop by the infirmary and talk to Zander or Isobel just to be on the safe side," I say. "I still think you're needlessly worrying but if talking to someone makes you feel better, I'll do it."

"I'd appreciate it," he says. "How about we stop by the infirmary before we go to the training room."

"Okay."

Tobias helps me to my feet then ushers the girls into the nursery to get ready for the day. When I'm feeling better, I take a quick shower and get myself ready for another long day. After towel drying and running a wide tooth comb through my tangled tresses, I go into the closet and put on a pair of dark gray yoga pants, a black and gray scoop neck top, and a pair of black and gray running shoes.

I go back into the bathroom and stare in the mirror for a while trying to figure out something to do with my hair but I'm startled by my overall appearance. Tobias carried me up to bed last night at a little before 8 p.m. after I fell asleep on the couch and I slept until nearly 6 a.m., and I look like I haven't slept 10 minutes let alone 10 hours. My eyes appear slightly sunken in. There are pronounced dark circles beneath. My cheeks are gaunt.

"I look like hell," I mutter. I decide to braid my hair then I work a little longer applying my makeup to bring a little life back into my face.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler brightly says. "Daddy says breakfast is ready. He made oatmeal."

"Okay, buddy."

"Tess says you sick," he says. "Are you better?"

"I do feel better," I say. I squat down in front of him and give him a big hug.

"I glad you feel better," he says. "I don't like it when you sick."

"Thank you," I say. "I don't like being sick either." I get up and he takes my hand and leads me downstairs like a little gentleman.

"I bringed her like you say, Daddy," he says when we reach the dining room.

"Thank you, buddy."

"Mama, you otay?" Tessa asks, her eyes wide.

"You 'kay," Teags apes.

"I'm much better but I'm not sure I can eat, Tobias."

"Will you please try to eat just a little, for me?" he asks as he puts bowls in front of the kids then heads back into the kitchen for ours.

"I'll try." I pick at the oatmeal, not wanting the nausea to return, although I know it will come whether I have food in my stomach or not if it wants to.

"Are you staying home with us, Mommy?" Tyler asks when breakfast is almost over.

"No, buddy. Mommy has to work today but I'm staying home with you guys tomorrow." Tobias and I have to evaluate the initiates today. It's introduction to knife throwing and we usually are there to demonstrate the correct form as the instructors give the initiates detailed directions.

"But you sick," he says. "I stay home when I sick."

"Well I'm not sick like when you get sick," I say. All three kids furrow their brows at me. "The babies are making me sick." I immediately know that I shouldn't have put it that way by the identical stunned look on their faces.

"Bad bebes," Teags forcefully says.

"I no like babies no mo," Tessa pouts, her little arms crossing her chest.

"Why do they want to make you sick?" Tyler asks, looking very sad.

"Oh guys. That's not what I meant," I say. "Because I have the babies in my tummy, my body isn't working like it normally does. I might get upset or cry for no reason."

"Your Mommy gets really tired now," Tobias says. "And she might get crazy cravings like chocolate and tapioca pudding mixed together." He shudders remembering the concoction I dreamed up when I was pregnant with Teags.

"I remember that," Tyler says. "It wasn't very good."

"I bemember, too," Tessa says.

"Nuh uh!" Tyler says.

"Tyler," I scold causing him to frown then turn my attention to Tessa. "You were too little to remember." I reach out and tickle her belly. "You didn't even have any teeth." She squeals and laughs loudly. "So, it's not the babies' fault I get sick sometimes. It's just the way it is."

"I sowwy," Tessa says and Teags says, "Yeah!"

"We all sorry, Mommy," Tyler says. "We love the babies again." The girls nod in agreement.

"Of course, you do," I say. "I wasn't worried about that." The doorbell interrupts and the kids start to leave the table but I keep them sitting while Tobias lets Bridget in.

"Good morning, Tris," she says as she comes into the dining room. "Good morning, children."

"Hi, Bridget," I say.

"Tris and I will be leaving early this morning," Tobias says. "Will you clean up the kitchen for me?"

"I can do that while you get ready," I say.

"I want you to rest, love. Please," he says then he looks at Bridget who doesn't know I'm pregnant again. "I'm taking Tris to the infirmary. She's not feeling very well."

"Morning sickness?" she sheepishly asks. "I know I'm not supposed to know your news but the girls let it slip earlier this week."

"I sowwy, Mama," Tessa says. "I fowgetted."

"It's all right, little one," I say. "Come give Mommy a hug." She jumps down off her chair, and I lift her into my arms. "I love you. You be good today."

"I will." She gives me a sloppy oatmeal-covered kiss then wiggles in my lap.

"Let me wash your face," I say. She obliges then I set her on her feet. She runs into the sunroom and gets her box of dolls off the shelf. I watch as Teags struggles to get down from the chair, and right before I go to help, she makes it to the floor herself with a triumphant grin.

"Up." She raises her little arms and I pick her up straight into a hug. "Lub 'ou, Mama."

"Love you, too," I say.

"Down," she says and I comply with her demand after washing her face. She immediately joins Tessa in the other room.

"Are you sure you're okay, Mommy?" Tyler worriedly asks.

"I'm fine, buddy," I say. "Come here." He hurries over and I pull him into my lap. "Don't worry about me. It's my job to worry about _you_ not the other way around." He wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly.

"I love you, Mommy. It scares me when you sick. I don't want you to go nowhere."

"I'm not going anywhere, my sweet boy," I say. "I promise." I know it's a lofty promise to make but I won't be a source of tension for my babies.

"You ready to go?" Tobias asks. I look up to find him descending the stairs in a pair of black boxing pants, which are hanging off his hips in a scandalous way, a dark gray sleeveless fitted t-shirt, and black and gray running shoes that match mine. The bulge of his biceps and triceps makes my mouth water and I forget that he asked me something. "Love?"

"Hhm?" My eyes meet his and he smirks.

"You ready to go?"

"Oh, yeah," I say. "You be good, buddy. Have fun with Tessa and Teags and listen to Bridget."

"I can't wait for a baby brother," he mutters under his breath. Apparently, his sisters are grating on is nerves like siblings often do. I know Caleb rubbed me the wrong way from time to time growing up. He sighs then says, "Okay, Mommy. I'll miss you today. Will you come home for lunch?" he asks hopefully.

"No, I'm afraid not," I say. "Mommy and Daddy have business near the Pit before and after lunch so we're going to eat in the cafeteria. We'll be home around regular time tonight for supper."

"Can we go to the park?" he asks.

"Yeah!" Teags says as she comes running into the room with Tessa on her heels.

"Peas!" she says.

"We don't have a problem with you going down the street to the park if Bridget wants to take you," Tobias says. As the kids celebrate their good fortune, Tobias pulls Bridget aside and quietly talks to her.

"Give Mommy hugs and kisses," I say as I kneel down. The kids descend on me at the same time, nearly knocking me off balance, and wrap their arms around various body parts. I'm thoroughly kissed and hugged then Tobias leads me out into the hallway after his own goodbyes.

"I didn't think they were ever going to let us leave," Tobias says.

"They didn't want us to go," I say.

"You mean they didn't want _you_ to go," he says.

"No, they wanted us both to stay home with them," I say. "I'm glad we have Bridget, and they love her, but they miss us when we're at work." To get my mind off missing the kids I ask, "So what did you talk to Bridget about?"

"I told her that if she was going to take the kids to the park to let me know and I would have Simon or Tony assign someone trustworthy to accompany them. I trust Bridget wholeheartedly but with Olivia on the loose I want to err on the side of caution. I doubt she would make a move on the kids but I won't chance it."

"That's good thinking," I say as I pull my phone out of my pocket.

"Who are you calling?"

"I'm sending a message to Ana and Brody to let them know we'll more than likely be late to the training room."

"I already did that," he says as I hit the send button.

"Oh well. I guess we told them twice," I say with a chuckle.

"I should have said something to you," he says. "I didn't think about it."

"That's okay," I say as we walk into the infirmary."

"Hello," Tobias says to the unfamiliar looking nurse behind the intake desk. _We need to find more Dauntless help._ "Is Dr. Parrish or Isobel Michaels available? Tris and I would like to discuss something with one of them."

"Is this an emergency?" she politely asks with a grandmotherly smile on her round face.

"Um, I don't think it's an emergency," I say.

"I'll page Isobel for you," she says. "Dr. Parrish is in a meeting and doesn't want to be disturbed unless there's an emergency."

"That's fine," Tobias says.

"If you would take a seat against the wall, Isobel will be right with you," she says.

"Okay," I say. She picks up her phone and enters a series of numbers then sets it back down. Within two minutes, Isobel comes out into the waiting room.

"Hi, guys," she says when she sees us sitting here. "Did you have me paged?"

"Yes, we did," Tobias says. "Can we talk in an exam room?" There aren't many people around but all eyes are on us, and we don't want more rumors and gossip spread about us.

"Sure," she says. "Follow me." She leads us into the closest empty examination room and closes the door behind us. "What can I do for you?"

"You may know this but in case you don't, I'm pregnant," I say. When her face lights up, I realize she's hearing our news for the first time.

"Congratulations! I'm so happy for you."

"I found some additional bruising, and we came to see Zander," I say. "Four and I were really worried something terrible was wrong with me."

"Anemia?" she asks.

"Yes. But our big surprise is that I'm nine weeks pregnant with twins."

"Holy shit!" she squeals then her face turns tomato red. "I'm so sorry. I guess I'm really surprised. What happened with the IUD?" I explain everything that Zander told us. "It happens. So, what can I help you with today?"

"I already had a lot of symptoms before we received the news including morning sickness but it's out of control, Isobel. I haven't been able to keep anything down for days. I don't think it's anything serious but I promised Four I would get checked out. With the possible preeclampsia and multiple pregnancy, we know there is the possibility of complications."

"There is a severe form of morning sickness known as hyperemesis gravidarum," she says. "Can you tell me how you are feeling?"

"Let's see. I've been excessively tired. I'm nauseated most of the time. Nothing stays down. I've been getting headaches."

"That sounds about right," she says. "Has there been any blood in your vomit?"

"No."

"Any confusion, rapid heart rate, decreased urination, fainting or dizziness?"

"Yes, dizziness," I say.

"Do you think you've lost any weight?"

"I wouldn't be surprised since I'm not keeping anything down but I can't say yes for sure."

"Okay," she says. "Let's do a physical exam then I'll see what I can do to help you feel better." I nearly break out in a happy dance when Isobel tells me I don't have to change into a hospital gown for the quick exam. I give her a urine sample after she draws a couple vials of blood then she weighs me. She pinches both arms a few times then takes my blood pressure and pulse. "How are you sleeping?" she asks as she looks deeply into my eyes and palates up and down my neck.

"She sleeps like the dead," Tobias says, "which is unusual for her. She's usually all over the bed but the last few nights she lands in one place and stays there until morning."

"I think it's a refreshing sleep though," I say. "I don't wake up tired anyway."

"That's good," she says. "You're not dehydrated but you're definitely on the cusp, and you've lost four pounds since Monday's visit. Does liquid cause nausea also?"

"Not always," I say. "But anything solid has been coming back up within 30 minutes of finishing, even though I've been eating bland stuff."

"I'm going to give you something for the nausea so you can get some food and drink in you," she says. She writes orders on a prescription pad then tears it off and gives it to me. "I'm glad you came in this morning, Tris. If you would have waited much longer you would have had to be admitted for IV nausea medication and fluids." I glance at Tobias and see the smug smirk on his face.

"He's never going to let me live this down," I say. "I didn't really want to come but I promised him."

"Don't you know that you should never doubt me," he says and I roll my eyes at him.

"When you get the prescription, it wouldn't be a bad idea to get some water or ginger ale and carry it with you," she says. "Take small amounts at regular intervals."

"Should she be working or would it be best to rest at home?" Tobias asks.

"What do you have planned today?"

"We are evaluating the initiates during their first day of knife throwing," I say.

"Is there a place to sit down?"

"I can get a chair brought in," he says.

"Then I don't see a problem with her working," she says. "If your symptoms continue as is or they get worse come back on Monday. If you get to feeling better there's no need to return."

"I have to come in Monday for blood pressure check anyway so I'll be here," I say. "By the way, Zander has taken over my primary care since it's a higher risk pregnancy."

"I completely understand," she says. "I had a nurse practitioner with Clary but I had an OB when I had the twins so I totally understand. It's better to be safe than sorry but if you ever have any questions about twins you can ask me."

"I appreciate that, Isobel. I was worried you would be upset but I should have known better. We're friends first."

"That we are."

"We better get your prescription so we can get to the training room," Tobias says. "Thanks for everything, Isobel. We truly appreciate it."

"Anytime," she says. "And congratulations again."


	34. Chapter 34

True to his word, Tobias had two deluxe leather recliners brought to the training room, one for each end. I'm sitting in luxurious comfort, sipping my cold bottle of ginger ale to calm my somewhat upset stomach as Tobias, Brody, Ana, and I watch the transfers toss knife after knife at the targets, only to have them bounce off the wall again and again. I keep close watch on the 12 initiates before me, and I've yet to see anyone except Hector actually hit the target, which I guess makes sense. He's probably been throwing knives since he was a kid. After scrutinizing the others, I notice that none of them are holding themselves correctly in regard to the target.

"Four," I quietly say motioning him to come closer. He kneels beside me, obviously worried.

"Are you all right?" he asks. My eyes fly to Ana who is intently staring at us. She and Brody don't know our secret yet but I can tell that she's curious about our tardiness and the reason why I'm sitting down sipping ginger ale. A flicker of recollection flames in her eyes, and I imagine her remembering me sitting through a great deal of her own training in this very room when I was pregnant with Teags. We definitely aren't going to be able to keep this secret much longer. Too many people know or suspect.

"I'm fine," I murmur. I clear my throat before I continue. "Hector is the only one who's standing correctly." He looks over at the trainees and notices the variations in their positions.

"You are absolutely correct," he says with pride. "As usual."

"Everyone stop," Tobias calls out as he straightens to his full height. One by one the transfers turn and every eye falls on us. By the looks on their faces they had no idea Tobias and I were observing today. "I want all eyes on Hector." He frowns at being singled out, and it looks like he's biting back a snide comment. "He's the only one who's hit the target this morning. By all rights each one of you should have hit your target at least once by now. Hector, would you please demonstrate the proper stance and technique again for the others?"

"Yes, Four," he says, standing a little taller. He obviously wasn't expecting a compliment. I watch as Hector lines himself up with his target. He takes a deep breath, transfers a knife to his dominant hand, then as he releases his breath he releases the knife, sending it sailing toward the center of the target. If I didn't know better I would think Tobias taught him how to throw because he did almost the exact some ritual Tobias does every time he releases a knife.

"Thank you, Hector," Tobias says. "Everyone else, let's try it again." Weapons training has always been my favorite part of initiation. The fear simulations were terrifying, physically draining, and emotionally debilitating. And who looks forward to fighting until you can no longer physically take it. No, the weapons made me feel strong, alive. They still do. I don't even have to be wielding one during practice to feel the adrenaline surging throughout the room. It's contagious.

Brody, Ana, Tobias, and I watch for another half hour and the only two who haven't stuck the target are Maeve and Oliver. And not only have they not stuck it, they haven't even hit it. Maeve is lacking muscle mass quite like I did during my initiation so I understand her struggle. I lived it. But, on the other hand, Oliver's performance today is lackluster at best. It's a good thing Eric's no longer with us. He'd probably try to have Tobias throw knives at him just like he did will Al. The more I'm around Al's doppelganger the more he creeps me out. He's too much like Al to not be related to him somehow. The hair on the back of my neck stands up as I feel eyes on me. I turn my head and find him staring at me. Tobias grunts and I realize he's noticed the unwanted attention, too.

"Eyes on your target, initiate," he growls causing all the other's to turn around and stare at him. "All of you." I reach out and grab his hand when they turn their focus back to the task at hand.

"How about you help Oliver and I'll give Maeve a few tips?" I say.

"Okay," he gruffly says.

"Hey! Please tell me you're not jealous."

"I am _not_ jealous," he says. "There's something about him. I don't trust him, Tris."

"He seems harmless enough," I say even though I totally agree with his assessment. The creep factor he exudes is off the charts.

"Isn't that what I always said about Olivia and look how that turned out?" He has a valid point.

"I'll watch myself," I whisper. I get up and set my bottle of ginger ale in the chair.

"Maeve?" She whips her head around and locks eyes with me, her look dejected. "Something that helped me when I was an initiate was practicing without the knife to begin with." Her expression tells me I've confused her. I step up beside her. Luckily, she's on the end so there's room for both of us. "What I mean is I made sure my body was exactly the way Four had shown me." I make a show of positioning myself correctly. "Then I went through the motion of throwing the knife at the target for a couple minutes, imagining it hitting the target dead center before actually picking up the weapon." I inhale then make the throwing motion as I exhale a few times. "Finally, I would handle the weapon, get used to it. The last thing I did was throw." I hold my hand out and someone places a knife in it, more than likely my husband. I reacquaint myself with the weight of the blade then make my throw. It hits dead center just like I imagined. I can't help my smile. I love knife throwing.

"Tris was one of the first initiates to hit the target that year," Tobias proudly says.

"Actually, she taught me the exact same way," Ana says. "It's great advice."

"Give it a try, Maeve," I say. I step back, and she does everything I suggested, and for the first time today, she sticks the target, although it's nowhere near the center.

"Great job!" I say as I clasp her on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Tris!" she excitedly says, obviously proud of herself. I watch her hit the target a couple more times before we move down the line. Ana and Brody make minor adjustments to different initiates along the way until we reach Oliver. We all stand back and quietly observe his throws.

"Oliver, stop," Tobias exasperatedly says, shaking his head. "You're tense, you're not in line with the target, and if I'm not mistaken, you're holding your breath. You've got to relax, line yourself up correctly, and breathe through the throw. I have to tell you, knife throwing is by far the simplest task you'll learn during initiation. Now, try it again." Oliver's face goes bright pink, obviously embarrassed by the unwanted attention. He takes a couple quick breaths then hastily throws. The blade sails straight toward the bare wall, once again missing the target completely. Tobias sighs disgustedly as he stares at the ceiling, his balled-up fists resting on his hips.

"Let me try, Four," I quietly say. I step past Tobias, grazing his Amity tattoo with my fingertips. "Okay, Oliver. Did you hear me talking to Maeve about practicing your throws before actually throwing?"

"Not really," he murmurs.

"All right. Listen carefully." I proceed to tell him exactly what I told her. He hangs on my every word. "Okay, now line yourself up with the target like Brody, Ana, and Hector showed you." I stand back and realize he's still not getting it so I physically move his body into position, which isn't easy. He's like a dead weight. "Do you feel this? _This_ is the correct position. Look at your body then look at the target. _Remember_ this position and you'll hit the target every time." I take my hands off his hips and take a couple steps back. "Now go through the motions of throwing. This will help the movement become second nature to your muscles. Go ahead." I watch him go through the motions a few times without the knife then I look at Tobias.

"Much better, Oliver," he says. "Try it with a knife now but remember to breathe."

"Okay, Four," he says as he transfers the knife Tobias handed him to his throwing hand. He takes a deep breath and just as he releases it, he completes a throw. Unfortunately, the knife hits about three inches below the target, bounces off the wall, and skids across the floor coming to rest at my feet.

"That takes talent," I murmur under my breath, shaking my head.

"Everyone stop," Tobias frustratingly calls out, near the end of his patience. I lean over and pick up the weapon and have to fight off an unexpected wave of nausea. "Go to lunch. Be back at 1:30 sharp for fight training."

"Tris, can you show me again?" Oliver asks, a puppy dog expression on his face.

"No, just go to lunch," I murmur as I pick up my ginger ale and take a sip. His face falls, and he mopes toward the exit. We watch as the rest of the transfers pile their throwing knives on one end of the long metal table by the door Ana and Brody are leaning against then head toward the cafeteria.

"Sorry about that, guys," Tobias say. "I know it's not my place to tell them what to do but I was this close to throwing a knife _at_ Oliver." He holds his thumb and index finger millimeters apart. "I don't want you guys thinking you aren't doing a good job because you are. Don't let his performance get you down. It doesn't reflect poorly on you. He's just a difficult case."

"I take it he's always this frustrating?" I ask as I jump up on the table next to Ana.

"Yes, he is," Brody says.

"The others seem to be doing well," I say. "Out of curiosity, what's the breakdown of transfers? I had to leave early Choosing Day because Tyler was sick, and I never thought to look."

"There are five Candor: Rose, Oliver, Arial, Desiree, and Freddy; five Erudite: Jeremy, Brandon, Cole, Eden, and Gabriella; one Amity: Maeve; and then of course we now have Hector," Ana says, looking at my ginger ale as I take another draw. I can tell she's chomping at the bit to ask me about it.

"How do they get along as a whole?" I ask.

"Remarkably well," she says. "Hector was definitely an outsider for a while but he's quite tight with Rose, Maeve, and Jeremy now."

"That's good."

"Not Oliver?" Tobias asks.

"No, Oliver is more of a … tag along," she says. _Hhm_.

"An outcast," I mutter. Ana and Brody both nod. "I kind of got that idea from observing him with the others just now. I find it odd that they've taken to Hector yet they let Oliver, who is by all rights 'one of their own,' sink."

"In my opinion, he doesn't do anything to belong," she says. "We included him the night we played dare for that very reason. At first, I thought it worked like it did for Rose and Maeve but he's worse than he was before. He does very little socializing."

"I don't think he's going to make it. He's by far our weakest initiate," Brody says. "His gun skills are average at best. He's thrown every single fight he's been in. I don't think he's landed a single punch beyond his first one. Now he can't hit the target the size of a person if it were two feet in front of him. I have to reiterate my belief that he's _not_ the type of person Dauntless is looking for. I know there are no automatic cuts but I think we need to plan soon on whether we allow him to move on to phase two of training. I feel like that would be a colossal waste of everyone's time."

"So, you don't think he deserves a second chance?" Tobias asks after a couple minutes.

"Brody and I caused some trouble during our initiation. I'll be the first to admit it. We broke rules and without a second and _third_ chance neither of us would be here right now, so we know the value of second chances," Ana says. "But we never stopped trying, Four. Oliver never _started_ trying. It's hard to offer a second chance to someone so undeserving." This actually surprises me. I thought she of all people would favor giving Oliver as many chances as he needs to see him succeed.

"Take Hector for example," Brody says. "He's almost been more trouble than he's worth but he's still the best initiate in the class, Dauntless-born or transfer. He still needs to work on dialing back his attitude at times but at least I know that he will be a valuable member of this faction once he works through his personal demons. I see zero future here for someone who, in my opinion, has no desire to be here."

"Do either of you see any other solution besides expulsion?" I ask.

"No," Brody says at the same time Ana says, "Maybe."

"What are your thoughts?" Tobias asks her.

"Well, I saw a spark when Tris was helping him earlier that I've never seen in him before," she says. "It might not do any good but what if you talked to him, Tris. Maybe you can make a breakthrough."

"It's not her responsibility to get him through initiation," Tobias practically growls.

"Baby," I say. When he looks at me, I shake my head. I don't want him scaring one of my best friends. "She's not suggesting I take over his training."

"Oh, God. That's definitely not what I meant," she says. I can tell that she's wary of his outburst. She obviously doesn't realize that Oliver creeps us out. "He doesn't listen to me. He tolerates what Brody tells him. You scare the crap out of him, Four. But with Tris it was like seeing him take interest for the first time."

"Yeah, in my wife," he mutters, running his fingers through his hair.

"It wouldn't hurt for me to have a simple conversation with him," I say to Tobias then I look at Ana. "But I wouldn't hold my breath that it will make any difference."

"Fine, I'll let you talk to Oliver, Tris, but I will be there with you," he says. "But if I don't like how it's going, I will put a stop to it."

"You'll _let_ me?" I cross my arms in front of my chest, my brows raised as I stare at him. He sighs knowing he just stuck his foot in his mouth.

"You're right. I'm sorry," he says. "You don't need my permission. I'm not your father."

"Damn right, you're not," I mutter. "But I will respect your wishes and not talk to him without you."

"Thank you," he says. "Ana, Brody, make sure Oliver gets any extra help he needs after Tris has spoken with him. If there's no improvement after the end of phase one, he's out. Sound like a compromise you can live with?"

"Yeah," Brody says.

"That sounds more than fair," Ana says. My stomach growls loudly. I blush when they all turn and look at me.

"Sorry but I'm hungry," I sheepishly say. It doesn't surprise me since I haven't been able to keep much of anything down for days.

"I think we're done for now," Tobias says. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than this morning that's for sure," I say. "The ginger ale is helping or the medicine Isobel gave me."

"Are you sick?" Brody asks. I look up at Tobias and he nods.

"Not in the traditional sense," I say. "I have morning sickness."

"I knew it!" Ana excitedly says as she throws her arms around me for a hug. "Congratulations! Your chair and the ginger ale gave it away."

"I knew you figured it out," I say. "It's still a little early to be announcing it, I'm nine weeks, but several people already know including the kids and they spilled the beans to Bridget earlier this week so we're announcing it to everyone soon."

"I bet they're excited," Brody says.

"They are," I say.

"Tyler wants a brother," Tobias says. "The girls insist that it needs to be another girl or they don't want anything to do with it."

"It's a big old mess," I chuckle.

"Too bad you can't give them all what they want," Ana says.

"That would be ideal," I say winking at Tobias as Brody helps Ana down off the table, our twin news still intact.

"When are you going to announce it to everyone?" Ana asks. "I'd hate to mess up and say something to the wrong person."

"At lunch," Tobias says. "I think it would be foolish not to. I'm already confused as to who knows and who's still in the dark."

"Me too," I giggle. I jump down off the table and sway into Tobias. He steadies me while he studies my face.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asks.

"I got dizzy but it passed already," I say.

"Brody, Ana, why don't you start without us," Tobias says. "Tris is a little lightheaded. We'll catch up with you."

"Okay," they say.

"Come here, love," he says after they leave us alone. "You've been having such a rough go of it lately." He pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly. I lift my chin just in time to meet his lips. Our kiss starts out slow, tender, affectionate but quickly gives was to fiery passion. I part my lips to breathe, and he slips his tongue inside and lovingly strokes it against mine. I moan as I melt into him.

"What was that for?" I ask, panting when he releases my lips.

"Do I need a reason to kiss my wife?" he asks as he puts a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

"No, of course not," I say. "You just caught me off guard."

"I like to keep you on your toes, Mrs. Eaton."

"I love you, Four," I say.

"I love you, too, my Six." He dips his head to kiss me again but my rumbling tummy stops him. "It sounds like you need food more than another kiss right now."

"I'm not stingy," I chuckle. "I'd take both."

"Come on. Time to get you fed," he says after another quick kiss. "Button and Bean are hungry."

"Yes, they are," I say, beaming up at him. We walk hand-in-hand to the cafeteria giving each other silly grins the entire way. I love this playful side of him. It's definitely a welcome change from our stressful morning. "If I wasn't so hungry, I'd take you to your old apartment."

"You would?"

"Yep! You are looking mighty fine today, Mr. Eaton." I lean in close so only he can hear. "I'm really horny right now. I hope I can make it through the afternoon. I might have to drag you to a bathroom or someplace dark and out of the way."

"You're killing me right now," he says, adjusting himself before we enter the cafeteria. "Sit and relax with our friends. I'll get us something to eat, and we'll give everyone our news when we're finished. And then if there's time, we can find a place to … scratch your itch."

"Really?" I ask, beaming up at him.

He puts his mouth against my ear and says, "You need to come?" _Desperately_.

"You have no idea," I say, pressing my thighs together, trying to control the ache he kindled when he kissed me.

"Well who am I to deny my wife."

"Promise?" I ask.

"Of course," he says. I go up on my tiptoes and give him a quick but fiery kiss. "Go sit down, naughty girl, before we give half the compound one hell of a show."

"Promises promises." After a couple steps I look over my shoulder and say, "I'm looking forward to our meeting, Four." I give him a saucy little wink and he shakes his head, a huge grin on his face. He mouths behave so I turn and make my way to our table, which is only half full.

"Can I ask you something?" Ana quietly says as she slides into Tobias' empty spot next to me. I'm glad for her distraction or I'd probably be a terrible grouch until Tobias and I could sneak away. "Why is Four worried about Oliver? Am I missing something?"

"It's really hard to explain, Ana," I say, "but we both don't get the best vibe from him."

"Does it have to do with the fact that he looks like your old friend, what was it Ian?"

"Al," I say.

"Oh, yeah," she says. "Sorry."

"That's all right," I mutter, weighing her question. "I guess it could. I don't know. I haven't thought of it that way before. He doesn't seem … _strange_ to you."

"He seems lazy and unmotivated."

"I catch him watching me sometimes," I quietly add. I don't want the whole table hearing this conversation. "I don't like it."

"I get that," she says. "But you do realize you stare at him quite a bit yourself."

"I do?"

"Yeah. I'm not the only one who's noticed. Christina and Avery and even Brody and Uriah have noticed too," she says. "Maybe he's just reacting to you."

"The fact that he's so much like Al must affect me more than I realized," I say. "To be honest, when I look at him I don't see a single difference. Today proved that. Al couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a knife and he always lit up when I gave him attention. Do you see my problem?"

"Yeah, I do," she says. "Don't take this the wrong way but are you 100% positive Al committed suicide?" I nod.

"I saw his body." I shudder remembering those horrifying details. "There's no way he could have faked that." I shake my head. "He was dead."

"What are you two whispering about?" Christina asks as she sits down beside me in her usual seat.

"Knife throwing," Ana answers, saving me from a Christina interrogation.

"Did Four have to throw knives at anyone?" she asks with a chuckle.

"Oddly enough, he wanted to," I say. She furrows her brows in confusion. "Let me put it this way; if Eric were still around, Oliver definitely would have been in front of a target this year, and I wouldn't have volunteered to take his place."

"That bad?"

"Worse." Someone clears their throats and Ana and I turn to find Tobias standing behind us.

"I'm sorry, Four. I'll move," she says as she slides off the bench. She hurries around the table and takes her regular spot beside Brody.

"Thank you," he says as he sets a plate with a hearty helping of chicken and noodles over mashed potatoes down in front of me.

"This looks good," I say. "Thank you. You know, we should get some chicken and vegetables before going home tonight. A simple Abnegation supper sounds good and it just might be the thing I'll be able to keep down. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner."

"That's actually a good idea," he says. "Hopefully, this works for you, too. It seemed the safest choice."

" _Mm_ ," I moan around my first bite. "This is _so_ good. You did a good job picking this out."

"I thought it looked good, too. That's why I got it," he says before taking a bite of his own. "Damn, this is good."

"I told you." Uriah drops his tray carrying three slices of Dauntless cake onto the table making me jump.

"You have enough cake, Uri?" I ask. He looks at his tray and his face twists into a grimace.

"You're probably right, Tris," he says. "I think I need another slice or two." A huge grin turns up his lips lighting up his whole face, and I can't help but roll my eyes and laugh. He loves his cake.

"When's the last time you had a physical, man," Zeke says as he and Shauna sit down. "I'm surprised you don't have diabetes with as much sugar as you eat."

"Do you guys hear that annoying buzzing sound?" Uriah asks around a mouthful if chocolate cake. "Oh wait! It's just my idiot brother."

"Hardy har har," Zeke mumbles.

"Do we need to separate you two?" Marlene asks as Shauna says, "Keep it up and I'm going to bring your Mom over here." Zeke and Uriah both flinch at that.

"You know, Zeke," Tobias says gaining the attention of his best friend, "the threat of getting your _mommy_ shouldn't work on a grown man."

"That's the problem, Four," Shauna says, "he's not grown up yet." The whole table laughs at that dig.

"I love you, too, Sunshine," Zeke says.

"I know you do," she says as she kisses his cheek.

Conversation picks up around the crowded table while we eat our lunches. When my plate is about half empty, I push it away. One minute I'm thoroughly enjoying the scrumptious food and the next my stomach is rolling. I pick up my flat ginger ale and take a few sips, hoping the nausea calms down soon. This definitely isn't how I wanted the lunch hour to go. I wanted to jump on my husband and ride him until tomorrow, and now I'm nauseated and feeling like I've been run over by a train. This quite honestly sucks.

"Are you all right, Tris?" Ciara asks. "You kind of look green."

"I'm fine," I say.

"Can I get you something, love?" Tobias quietly asks. He puts his hand on my back and gently starts rubbing in large circles.

"I could use a fresh ginger ale," I say. "And quite possibly a nap."

"I'll get you a ginger ale," Christina says.

"Oh, love." He pulls me closer and kisses my forehead. "This is so different from last time."

"I know," I say.

"What's different from last time?" Avery asks, eyeing us suspiciously.

"Tris and I have an announcement," Tobias says. Everyone looks our way.

"I'm pregnant," I say and immediately our friends start celebrating. I'm happy they're happy but I really would love to throw up right now. "I'll be right back." I hurry to the nearest bathroom, worrying the entire way that I wouldn't make it but, thankfully, I do. Once the nausea subsides, I come out of the stall to find Christina, Ana, and Avery standing there. Avery hands me a couple wet paper towels and Christina gives me the ginger ale.

"Feeling better?" Ana asks.

"Yeah. It's just a little frustrating though," I say as I rinse out my mouth. "I should carry a toothbrush with me until the morning sickness goes away … _if_ it ever goes away. These babies won't let me eat. I'm starving."

"Wait a minute," Christina shrieks.

"What?"

"Babies?" Ana and Avery ask at the same time. _Shit! Did I just say babies?_

"What?" I repeat trying to come up with a believable excuse.

"Don't what me, Beatrice Grace Eaton," Christina says, her hands on her hips. "You just said the _babies_ won't let you eat."

"No wonder you didn't balk when I said it was too bad you couldn't give the kids what they want, a boy and a girl. You're having twins, aren't you?" I sigh, unable to hide my snafu.

"That was supposed to be a secret for a while longer," I finally say. "Yes, Four and I are nine weeks pregnant with twins. Please don't say anything to anyone." They crowd around me, giving me congratulatory hugs.

"We won't say anything, will we girls?" Avery says.

"No. We'll keep your secret," Christina says.

"Do the kids know?" Ana asks.

"Yeah they do, and they are really excited," I say. "And you're right, Ana. Ideally, we would give them a boy and a girl to keep the peace. Tyler wants to name them. If we agreed and had twin boys they would be Leonardo and Optimus Prime." They all start laughing. "And the girls like Lily and Daisy for twin girls."

"Leo and Lily would be really cute for a boy and girl," Avery says.

"I think so too but they don't start with T's."

"How about Theo and Tilly then?" Christina suggests.

"That's not bad actually," I say. "I kind of like it."

"We better get back to the rest of the group before Four sends out a search party," Ana says with a sly grin. She knows my husband well.

"Or just comes in," Avery says just as the door opens. We burst out laughing when Tobias sticks his head in the bathroom.

"What's so funny?" he gruffly asks. He's obviously worried about me and not impressed with our uncontrollable laughter.

"Ana suggested going before you sent out a search party," I say. "Then Ana said you might just come in and you did."

"I was getting worried," he says.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"We need to be getting to the training room," he says. "Lunch is over."

"Is it that time already?" Christina says. "Crap, we're late!" We file out of the bathroom and onto the Pit floor. As we approach the chasm, Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo approach us.

"We've been looking for you, Four," Purple-Hair says. "You, too, Tris."

"Well, I guess we'll be late for knife training, Christina," Tobias says. "If we can't make it, we'll let you know."

"Bye, guys," I say. "Please remember what we talked about."

"We promise, Tris," Avery says. "Congratulations by the way. I'll talk to you later." I get more congratulations from Ana and Christina then they leave us to our unexpected business.

"What can we do for you, guys?" I ask.

"We might have found some evidence in the chasm after all of someone falling in the morning of that fight," Snake-Tattoo says.

"We need you to take a look," Purple-Hair says.

"Of course," Tobias says. "After you."


	35. Chapter 35

Tobias and I follow Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo toward the chasm. Two burly patrol officers I've only occasionally seen in passing are guarding the usually hidden entrance to the winding path that leads to the rocks below. Beside them are two maintenance workers who, according to the patch on their coveralls, work for chasm maintenance.

"Four, Tris, this is Shaffer and Eugenia," Snake-Tattoo says. "They were in the chasm this morning doing routine maintenance when they discovered dried blood pools on the rocks and bloody handprints up the wall leading to the maintenance entrance."

"I'm afraid we cleaned some of the blood off the rocks even after we found the handprints," Eugenia says. "But when I remembered the altercation the other morning and the reports of someone being pushed into the chasm, I immediately had Shaffer stop, and we called it in."

"Thank you for reporting what you found," I say. "Tony, please take Shaffer and Eugenia to the conference room and get their full written statements."

"Right away, Tris," Snake-Tattoo says.

"Shaffer, Eugenia, once you're finished with your statements you'll have to move on to your next maintenance task," Tobias says. "The chasm will be off limits until the investigation is complete."

"Okay, Four," they both say at the same time.

"Please follow me," Snake-Tattoo says. I lean against the railing and look toward the rocks below after the trio makes their way along the path toward the Pire.

"Have you inspected what they found, Simon?" I ask Purple-Hair.

"Tony and I did, yes, Tris," he says. "To me, it looks like an injured party escaped the chasm through the maintenance door. At least that's what I infer the blood trail suggests."

"How many people know about the maintenance tunnels?" I ask, although to no one in particular. "I wasn't aware of them for quite some time after getting here, and I figure the only reason I do now is because of my position."

"They aren't exactly secret," Purple-Hair says.

"You know how Dauntless like to explore," Tobias says and I nod . "That's how I was made aware of them. Zeke was out causing trouble one day and stumbled across them. Up until then none of us knew about chasm maintenance."

"None of you?"

"Zeke, Shauna, and me," he says. _Hhm. I remember him talking about that now._ "Simon, were samples of the blood taken yet?"

"Not yet, Four," he says. "I wanted to make sure that any samples collected were done so properly."

"Have you contacted the infirmary?"

"No, we came to find you first," he says.

"All right. While Tris and I inspect the scene, please go to the infirmary and tell Dr. Parrish what we need," Tobias says. "If he wants to delegate the task, that's fine. I completely trust his judgment. Just make sure that whoever collects the evidence takes multiple samples."

"Okay, Four," he says. "Do you have a flashlight? It's pretty dark down there. It's hard to see the trail without one."

"No, I don't."

"Here. You can use mine," he says as he hands him a small cylindrical object. Tobias turns it on, and I'm surprised by how bright the beam of light is. For being so little, it packs quite a punch.

"Thanks," Tobias says. "I'll make sure to get it back to you as soon as possible. Tris and I have a busy afternoon ahead of us, so more than likely we'll be gone when you get back."

"Don't worry about it. I have another one," he says, patting one of his front jean pockets, "so it's no hurry, Four."

"Okay."

"Please make sure a copy of the incident report is put in my office when it's complete," I say. "I'll make sure it gets filed."

"Yes, Tris," he says then he heads back to the Pit floor and toward the infirmary. Tobias takes my hand and carefully leads me to the bottom of the chasm letting the light guide our way. I'm surprised by how different it looks with the illumination. I glance up to the railing and see that we've drawn a small crowd. It still amazes me how inquisitive our faction is, or maybe people are just nosy in general.

"Watch your step, love," he says. "These rocks are wet." He slides his arm around my waist and guides me further into the chasm, making sure I don't slip or fall. When the powerful beam of light sweeps the wall in front of us, the rusty-looking handprints become visible. Some are perfect replicas while others are elongated from the hand dragging along the rock wall.

"This is creepy," I call out, making myself heard over the sound of the rushing water. "How was this not found before now?" Tobias turns off the flashlight leaving us in total darkness until our eyes adjust to the dim light emanating from above.

"I think this is how," he says. "I'm not excusing whoever did the sweep down here missing this but if they didn't have a flashlight, it's easy to overlook the blood trail."

"You're right," I say. "My eyes finally adjusted and unless you know exactly what you're looking at, the handprints look like imperfections in the wall. Maybe we should have someone take some pictures for the file."

"That's a good idea," he says. He sends a text to either Purple-Hair or Snake-Tattoo or perhaps both then leads me toward the hidden door I knew nothing about for so long. It's the same door Zeke used to show Shauna and Tobias the chasm bottom shortly after their initiation.

"Hey, do we know what Shauna's father's job was when he was an active member?" I ask.

"I've read his file a couple times but I can't recall that detail off the top of my head. Why?"

"That door is practically invisible from this side," I say. "Picture it. It's dark, you're injured. I understand pulling yourself up on the rocks even though the current should drag someone _away_ from them but how do you find that door unless you know it's there? And wouldn't it be easier to climb out of here on the little path? Something's strange about this." He turns the flashlight back on and really takes in the scene before us.

"You're right," he says. "From this vantage point, the path is easily seen. And you're right, unless you know that door is there, it's easy to miss, especially in the dark."

"Is it possible this has nothing to do with the fight?" I ask. "Look at the directionality of this group of handprints. Doesn't it look like it's heading _away_ from the door instead of towards it?"

"You could be right about that, too," he says. "Or what if this is evidence of someone coming down here from the tunnel, entering the chasm by the doorway, and helping whomever fell in get out."

"Why would someone do that?" I ask.

"Terry Samuels was supposed to be dead," he says. "It wouldn't be good to fish him out of the chasm all these years later, alive and well _or_ newly deceased. But it proves to me that someone inside the faction is already helping him."

"Wait a minute," I say before he gets too far ahead of himself. "First of all, we don't if it was Terry Samuels who fell into the chasm, if anyone. This all could be a stupid prank."

"Point taken."

"Second, what's the point of faking your death only to return to your faction years later? Isn't that terribly risky? Why do it?"

"That I can't answer, and I don't want to speculate," he says. "This is a true mystery. But you're right, we're putting the cart before the horse. The first thing we need to find out is who this blood belongs to." He pulls out his phone and sends another round of messages. "I told Simon I want this entire scene documented with photographs and diagrams. I also told him to make sure each blood stain gets its own analysis. I'm confident that there is more than one contributor to the stains. Let's get out of here."

"Shouldn't we follow the blood trail?" I ask.

"It's hard to get that door open from this side. I think we should just go around and pick up the trail there."

"Okay," I say. "That sounds reasonable. I don't really feel like scaling a wall today anyway."

"How are you feeling now, love?" he asks about halfway out of the chasm once we no longer have to shout to be heard.

"There's something I need to tell you while I'm thinking of it."

"What is it?" he asks.

"I screwed up earlier in the bathroom," I say. "Ana, Avery, and Christina know about the twins. I was complaining about the morning sickness, and I accidentally said the _babies_ weren't letting me eat. They immediately picked up on it. I'm sorry but they did promise me not to say anything."

"I was wondering what you made them promise," he says. "And it's all right. I'm surprised I haven't done the same thing with Zeke or the other guys."

"I'm feeling better than I did at lunch but I'm exhausted," I say. "I don't remember being this tired with Teags. Or this nauseated. Or this up and down."

"Or this horny?" he asks with a sly grin.

"No, _that_ I do remember," I say, a fresh blush coloring my cheeks. "And if I'm not mistaken you seemed to reap all the benefits."

"Maybe not all the benefits," he says with a sly grin, "and I have to say, that's one part of you being pregnant I don't mind, not one bit."

"You're such a dirty boy," I say just before we reach the top of the trail. He stops and turns toward me.

"Your dirty boy who remembers his promise from earlier."

"Are you actually saying you want to ditch work for a while and have sex?" I ask, stunned. Getting him away from work is like trying to get the kids to bed when they're on a sugar high.

"Well, we'll finish up with the blood trail then take a detour to my old apartment for an hour before we go to the training room," he says. "I don't know about you but I think it's been entirely too long since I was inside you. I'd like to remedy that."

"It's only been four days but yeah, it's been too long," I say.

"So does that sound like a plan?"

"It sure does." He leans in to kiss me when movement startles us.

"Oh, shit!" I hear a familiar voice say. "I didn't see you two there." Zander who has Purple-Hair and two other men with him nearly runs right into us.

"We were just heading out," Tobias says. "I'm glad we ran into each other. Simon, I want to reiterate the importance of documenting everything."

"We're on it, Four," he says. "I brought a couple men with me to take pictures and measurements. Also, Tony is done with Shaffer and Eugenia so he'll be down in a few. He put their statements on your desk."

"Good," Tobias says. "Zander, can you make sure each stain you find is individually tested for DNA? It looks like some of the handprints are moving into the chasm while others seem to be moving out. We might be looking at two or more contributors."

"Okay. I'll do a pattern analysis of the prints as well to see if your hunch is correct." Then after Purple-Hair and his two men excuse themselves into the depths of the chasm, Zander says, "Isobel told me you were in this morning. Are you feeling better? Has the anti-nausea medication helped at all?"

"Right this minute there's no nausea, which is good," I say, "but my lunch came back up almost immediately. Four and I are going to cook something simple tonight for dinner. I'm hoping it'll stay with me when nothing else has. Something's got to change soon. I'm pretty hungry and Isobel told me I've lost weight since Monday."

"I want you to give the medication time to work. If you keep vomiting, visit me Sunday at the infirmary. I'll be there all day. There are a couple other things we can try before taking drastic measures including admitting you for IV nutrition and fluids," he says. "Any other unusual symptoms?"

"Four and I were just talking about that earlier," I say. "Everything seems to be … _heightened_ this time around. I don't know if that's a good way to explain it or not. I'm exhausted 90% percent of the time. My emotions are all over the place. My sense of smell is on overdrive. I can't keep anything down, and the nausea and dizziness are absurd at times. And, of course, my sex drive feels like it's on steroids. It's just so different from how it was with Teagan."

"You have to remember that every pregnancy is different," he says, "and you're getting a double dose of hormones this time. Just remember the end result, two beautiful babies in your arms. That will make all this worthwhile." I smile thinking about Button and Bean. It _is_ easy to forget about them when I'm not even showing yet.

"Thanks for the perspective," I say. I rest my hand on my lower abdomen and Tobias covers it with his. "They're definitely worth all this trouble and misery."

"That's for sure," Tobias says. "Well, we'll let you get started. Tris and I are going to the maintenance tunnels to see if the blood trail picks back up."

"Text me if you find anything and if I need to take samples from there also," he says.

"I will, Zander. We'll let you get to work."

"See you later," I say. Tobias takes my hand, and I'm surprised when he leads me to the double doors that head to the net. "What are we doing here?"

"This is the quickest route to the maintenance tunnel we're interested in," he says as he unlocks the door. Once we cross the threshold, he makes sure it's secured behind us. I expect him to immediately turn right and head back in the direction of the chasm but instead he leads us further into the tunnel until we're passing through the shadows that terrified me when I first got here. Suddenly, he stops and pushes me up against the cold stone wall.

"What are you doing?" I shriek. I wasn't expecting the sudden aggressive movement, and my heart starts painfully hammering in my chest.

"This," he says, his lips pressed against my ear, making me shudder. He glides his fingertips up my stomach and palms my aching breast. My breath catches in my throat as he gently massages the heavy mound. "I've been dying to do this all day." His lips momentarily graze mine before he moves them to my neck. He places open mouth kisses around my left ear, making me sigh. "Does this feel good?"

"You know it does," I moan. This man plays my body like a musical instrument, making it sing with delight. I gasp when he roughly cups my already throbbing sex with his other hand and aggressively rubs the heel against me. I move in time with his ministrations, craving more of the powerful friction. I grab his face and pull his lips to mine. Our kiss borders on violent as I force his lips open and invade his mouth with my pillaging tongue. He doesn't seem to mind, growling a continuous throaty groan.

"We don't have much time, love," he gruffly says. "Do you want to come like this?"

"No, I want to come with you inside me," I moan against his lips. "Please, baby. I need you inside me." His hands abruptly leave my body, and he turns me so fast that I nearly get whiplash. He quickly lowers my yoga pants and boy shorts, exposing me to the cool, damp air, then grasps my hips. He pulls me closer to him, and I feel him at my moist entrance, hard, hot, and throbbing. I barely have time to get used to the idea of him there when he roughly enters me.

" _Oh_ , _God_ ," he cries out at the same time I do. He adjusts his body around mine and moves my legs closer together. He slowly pulls himself back then just as slowly pushes forward, and we both moan. It feels so damn good. "Squeeze your legs together even more, love." I do as he says, and he starts a steady, pounding in-and-out rhythm.

"You're so big, baby," I gasp as he fills me again and again. I swear he's twice as thick with my legs this way. The intense pleasure of our coupling is bordering on painful but I wouldn't change a single moment. He tightly wraps his arms around me as we continue to move against each other. One hand slips between my thighs. He roughly circles my nubbin with his calloused fingertips, helping me move closer to what's sure to be a powerful orgasm. His other hand slides up under my shirt and frees my aching breast from my bra. He twists and tugs on my sensitive nipple until I shatter around him. I cry out his name, which echoes around us, bouncing off the walls as he thrusts one final time and releases himself deep inside me. We slump against the cold stone to catch our breath and let our hearts return to normal.

"You okay?" he asks after a couple minutes of shared panting. He places sweet kisses along my neck and shoulder as he rights my bra.

"I'm completely blissful right now but I could really use a nap." He chuckles a bit as he slowly pulls out of me then slides my panties and yoga pants back up and into place. I hear the rustling of fabric as he tucks himself away. I turn around and his lips find mine for a gentle, loving kiss.

"I didn't exactly mean for that to happen in the middle of some random tunnel but I just couldn't wait one more minute to get my hands on you, love," he says. "And you have no idea how grateful I am that you wanted me inside you just now. I would have kicked myself if you said you wanted to come on my hand."

"Although you know I love your hands very much, Mr. Eaton, there's nothing quite like having you inside me," I say. I reach up and pull his mouth to mine once again. As the kiss intensifies, he pulls his lips from mine.

"You keep doing that, love," he roughly says, "and we're never going to get to the training room."

"Is it bad that I don't care?"

"The sooner work is over the sooner I can get you home," he says as he takes my hand and leads me deeper into the depths of Dauntless.

"Not that I'm complaining but why did you just make love to me in the dark?"

"Look up," he says as we pass into the light. I glance to the single lighting fixture above us.

"Is that a camera?" I ask, mortified at the prospect of being caught on camera again. "When did that get there?"

"I had maintenance install them along this route not too long ago," he says. "This could very well be an unauthorized entry point into the faction. I'm surprised there were no cameras before."

"So, there's more?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says. "But the net room still has no surveillance."

"That's good for us or we'd never get to mark it off our lists," I say as I pull him in for another kiss.

"I love you, Tris," he breathlessly says.

"I love you, too, Tobias."

"I wasn't too rough, was I?" he asks, his hands resting on my hips reminding me that I might have bruises in the morning where he held onto me.

"You were just rough enough," I say. "I loved it. It was perfect. Thank you. I really _really_ needed that. I feel so much better."

"I needed it, too," he says, kissing my forehead. "But we better get back to work."

"Okay."

"Don't sound so excited," he chuckles.

"It's just," I let out a heavy sigh, "I could think of a few thousand things I'd rather do than sit in the training room watching the initiates," I say. "It's one of the reasons I elected not to train them anymore."

"I understand," he says. "But it's part of our duty. Here, this way." Right outside the net room I'm surprised to find hidden access to a hallway that winds off to the right. He leads me through a series of passages and stairwells until we reach a nondescript door. He opens it, and we're looking at the bottom of the chasm.

"This is surreal," I whisper as I look around. One of my favorite places in Dauntless looks completely different from this angle just like it did earlier when it was lit up. Before us Zander, one of the infirmary staff, Purple-Hair, Snake-Tattoo, and two of their men are milling around carrying out Tobias' orders. I didn't even know that many people would fit down there safely.

"I get it," Tobias says. "I felt the same way the first time Zeke brought me here. We better get back to work. Let's see if we can pick up the blood trial."

"Okay," I say looking around. "Hhm. I don't see any blood."

"Neither do I," Tobias says. "Simon, do you know if maintenance has been in this hallway already? We don't see a continuation of the blood trail."

"I don't think so," he shouts.

"Eugenia said they used that hallway to access the chasm this morning," Snake-Tattoo calls out above the roar of the river. "They didn't mention doing maintenance in it though. I'll contact Shaffer and Eugenia and ask them both." He pulls his phone out if his pocket and places a call.

"Can I use the flashlight?" I ask Tobias.

"Sure, here you go," he says as he digs it out of his pocket and hands it to me. I switch it on and shine it around the doorjamb.

"Is that blood?" Tobias kneels down and examines where I have the beam concentrated on the threshold.

"I think it is," he says. "Zander, there looks to be blood droplets in this doorway."

"Okay, Four," he says. "I'll make sure to document and collect samples from there, too. Do you see anymore?"

"No, but we just started looking," Tobias says.

"I couldn't get ahold of Shaffer but Eugenia said they're in charge of this hallway, and it's on the schedule for next week," Snake-Tattoo says.

"Keep trying to contact Shaffer, please, Tony," Tobias says. "I want to confirm that. Also ask him how often it gets cleaned."

"According to Eugenia, once a month," he says.

"So, it was supposedly cleaned three weeks ago," I say. I look around and shake my head.

"What is it, Tris?" Tobias asks.

"There's no way that this was cleaned three weeks ago. Look around," I say. "There's no dust or debris anywhere. The floor is clean, and the walls look freshly scrubbed. I can even smell some sort of cleanser lingering in the air."

"I don't smell anything," Tobias says, frowning as he sniffs the air.

"Believe me. It's faint but it's there," I say. "It's not an offensive odor. It kind of smells like … lemons and oranges, definitely citrusy. We have a cleaner like that at home. It's mixed by maintenance workers and sold in the furniture store."

"I'll take your word for it," Tobias says. "I know you have an exceptionally keen sense of smell these days."

"Hey, Zander, is there a way to know after the fact if blood has been cleaned up?" I ask.

"There is a chemical that reacts to the proteins in dried blood even if it's been cleaned up," he says. "Unfortunately, the only ones who have access to it is a small team of investigators from Erudite. If you suspect a cleanup, I can contact their lead investigator and have them come and examine the hallway."

"Erudite," Tobias murmurs under his breath.

"Are they trustworthy?" I ask, knowing my husband's hesitance.

"Definitely. This team travels all throughout the city investigating crime," Zander says. "It's their specialty. In my opinion, they are the most, for lack of a better term, divergent people in the city. They seem to fit into one of the factions just as smoothly as the next. I can guarantee there won't be a problem with them. If there's something to be found, they'll find it. Contact your brother if you want a second opinion, Tris."

"I might do that," I say as I try to stifle a yawn but it escapes anyway.

"You know we're done here. Why don't you go home for the day," Tobias says. "You're exhausted. You need to get some rest. I'll have Will accompany me to the training room. He'll like spending the afternoon with Christina. Go home, love."

"You know what, Four, for once I'm not going to argue with you," I say. "I'll go home and rest, spend some time with the kids. Thank you, baby … for everything." I wrap my arms around him, surprising him. We're not big into public displays of affection but he returns my hug then kisses the top of my head. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says. "Do you need help getting back out of here?" I look up and down the unfamiliar hallway."

"It might be easier for me to just climb down into the chasm and head home that way," say.

"No," he says. "Just take a left at the end of this hallway. You'll see the path when you turn the corner."

"That does sound easier," I say. "Why didn't we come this way to begin with?"

"The other way was closer from the Pit."

"Okay," I mutter around yet another wide yawn.

"Please be careful going home. I don't need a phone call telling me you stumbled from the path again."

"You think you're funny but you're not," I say as I playfully punch him in the arm.

"I'm being completely serious, love," he somberly says. "Be careful. You're practically sleep walking as it is. You know what, I'm coming with you."

"Tobias Eaton," I whisper close to his ear, "you don't have to walk me home. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" he worriedly asks.

"Absolutely," I say.

"Call me when you get home then," he says as he gives me a quick kiss.

"Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen. I'll see you at supper. Oh, don't forget to stop by the commissary to pick up the ingredients we need. Would you also pick up some more ginger ale and saltines? We're almost out and that would not be good."

"I most definitely will," he says. "Don't forget to call." I pull him away from the open door and wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest.

"What's wrong? Is there something going on that you're not telling me?"

"No, I just want to make sure you're safe," he says. "You're carrying some very precious cargo."

"Is that all?"

"You know I worry, love," he says. "It's in my DNA. You wouldn't recognize me if I didn't."

"That's true."

"Four?" Zander calls out. "Are you still there?" We step back into view and he says, "Oh there you are. I hope I didn't interrupt something."

"I'm just leaving."

"You might want to hear this, Tris," he says. "I called Erudite, and they're sending the investigative team over right now. I honestly didn't think it would be so soon but they said the longer they wait, the more degraded the samples would become. I hope this is okay."

"It's perfectly fine," Tobias says. "I just have to rearrange some things."

"I'll stay," I say but he cuts me off.

"No. You're going home to rest. That's what I need you to do," he commands. "I've already sent Will to the training room. I'll have James meet him, and they can evaluate the Dauntless-born. I'll go up to the Pire and wait for our guests. I might be late depending on their findings. I'll send an order to the commissary and have it delivered while Bridget is still there to put it away. I'll try to be home on time so you don't have to cook but you might have to start it without me though."

"I think I can manage," I say. "But if you need me, call me." He looks at me like I've possibly gone crazy but he finally nods. "I'll see you later. I love you."

"I love you, too." I feel his eyes on me as I head up the hallway. Before I turn to make my way to the path, I glance over my shoulder and give him a little wave, which he returns with a sexy smile. I'm surprised to realize exactly where I am when I get on the path. I'm closer to the Pire than I thought I would be. I must have been climbing and didn't realize it. Even as tired as I am, it doesn't take me long to get home. I unlock and open the door and am met by three smiling but tired faces.

"Hi, Mommy!" Tyler says. "Are you home for good?"

"Yes, I am," I say. "I came home early so I could take a nap before supper."

"Is you still sick?" he poutily asks.

"No, I'm just tired," I say. "Hi, girls."

"Hi, Mama!" they say at the same time.

"Oh, hello, Tris," Bridget says as she comes into the living room. "You're home early."

"I need to rest," I say. "What did you make the kids for lunch? Something smells good."

"We had macaroni and cheese," Tyler excitedly says before Bridget can answer. "You want some, Mommy?"

"I can warm a plate for you, Tris," she says.

"Just a small helping please. Unfortunately, nothing stays with me for long but I'm starving." I follow Bridget into the kitchen and ask, "Have the kids napped?"

"I was just getting ready to put them down." Tyler, Tessa, and Teags all groan at that news. I chuckle to myself because I didn't know they had followed us.

"How about all of you take a nap with Mommy," I say. "I could use someone to cuddle with."

"Okay," Tyler says. "I take a nap with you."

"Me, too," Tessa say.

"'Kay!" Teags says.

"Why don't you play while Mommy eats this then we'll go upstairs?" They file into the sunroom and, surprisingly, sit down and start playing with each other. "Have they been like this all morning?"

"They've been really good all day. There have been no fights or bickering and they've played well together," she says. "I do think they're worried about you though. They've been talking amongst themselves about the babies making you sick. It makes them sad."

"I hate it when they worry," I say gazing in their direction. "They shouldn't have a care in the world." She slides a small bowl of delicious smelling pasta and cheese in front of me and my mouth waters. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Tris," she says. She pours herself a cup of coffee that just finished brewing and sits down across from me. Usually, I find the bitter yet inviting aroma appetizing but not today.

"I'm sorry, Bridget, but the coffee is turning my stomach," I murmur as I fight against the rising nausea.

"I'm sorry, Tris," she says. She gets up and pours the steaming liquid down the drain followed by the remainder of the pot. She washes the lingering scent away with a steam of water and almost instantly I start to feel better.

"I'm so sorry, Bridget. The nausea came on strong but I feel better now. Too bad you had to get rid of the whole pot. I hope this isn't an indication of what's to come. I'm a zombie until I get my morning cup of coffee. I can't imagine not being able to stand the smell for the next seven months."

"I'll remember not to brew a pot when you're here until I know it's not a trigger for you anymore," she says.

"Thank you," I say as I take the last bite of mac and cheese then slide the bowl away from me. "Thanks for that, too." I point at the empty bowl. "It hit the spot."

"You're more than welcome," she says. "Do you need help getting the kids upstairs with you?"

"No," I say. "I can manage." My phone rings and when I see Tobias' picture I realize I forgot to let him know I got home okay. "Hello."

"Are you okay?" he grumbles, worry dripping from his voice.

"Yes, baby. I'm so sorry. The kids greeted me the moment I walked in the door, and I forgot to call. I'm just getting ready to go upstairs and lie down with them right now."

"How did you manage that?" he asks, sounding much more like himself.

"I'm not sure," I say with a chuckle. "I didn't even have to bribe them."

"Are you sure they're our kids?"

"Yep! They look just like us."

"Love, I'm going to be getting home later than I feared. I ordered the groceries, and they'll be delivered around 5 p.m."

"Okay, I'll let Bridget know," I say. "Do you have an estimated time you'll be home?"

"I'm afraid not," he says. "It's possible it will be after the kids go to bed. I hope I'm wrong on that but the head investigator said they're going to test the entire hallway for blood. Apparently, it's a timely procedure."

"I understand," I say. "I love you. Don't work too hard."

"I won't, and I love you, too," he says. "I'll talk to you later. Have a good nap."

"I will, thanks," I say. We say a final goodbye then I put my phone away.

"Four has to work late tonight," I say. "He ordered some groceries that will be delivered around 5 p.m. We were planning on a simple Abnegation meal tonight so I'll cook when I get up from my nap."

"All right, Tris," she says. "Have a nice nap."

"I will," I say. "I'm exhausted." I get up from the table and make my way to the sunroom doorway. "Are you guys ready? Mommy's tired." They look up at me with sleepy smiles. "Come on." Tyler and Tessa get up but Teagan starts crying. "What's wrong?"

"Up," she whines. She lifts her arms up, and I know she wants carried.

"Can you be a big girl and walk for Mommy?" I ask her. Her bottom lip juts out and silent tears stream down her face. I'll take that as a no. "Come here." I pick her up and she rests her head against my shoulder. "Tyler, can you help Tessa up the stairs?"

"Come on, Tess," he says as he reaches for her hand. I expect her to argue or cry, too, but she takes his hand and lets him lead her up the stairs and into my bedroom.

"Do any of you have to potty?" I ask.

"No," Tyler says.

"Yeah," Tessa says.

"Teags, do you need to go potty?" I repeat then I realize she's out like a light. It's a good thing she has a training diaper on. I carefully lay her near the center of the bed then help Tyler up next to her. "Mommy and Tessa will be right back." I pick her up and carry her into the bathroom. I relieve myself while she uses the little potty chair.

"Done, Mama," she says.

"I'll help you in a minute," I say. I flush the toilet then clean her up. "Let's wash our hands." We take turns then we dry them really good.

"Nigh-nigh, Mama," she says around a yawn, holding her arms up to me. "Hold me."

"That's right, little one," I say as I pick her up. "Let's take that nap. We're all really sleepy." She sighs contentedly as she lays her head on my shoulder. "I love you, little one."

"Love you, Mama," she says. By the time I lay her down next to Teagan, she's fast asleep, too. Actually, it looks like I'm the only one still awake. I lie down on the other side of Tyler and close my eyes but sleep eludes me. My body too exhausted but my mind racing from all the new things Tobias and I learned today. I replay everything at least three times before I finally feel exhaustion take over, and I fall into a peaceful sleep.


	36. Chapter 36

"And they lived happily ever after," I say as I close one of my daughter's favorite storybooks.

"'Gain, Mama!" Tessa cheers, clapping her little hands together. "'Gain!"

"Yeah!" Teags enthusiastically agrees, nodding her head. She's sitting beside me on the couch, bouncing excitedly in her seat.

"I've already read it twice, girls," I say. "Besides it's past your bedtime."

"I not tiwed," Tessa says.

"I want my Dadda," Teags whines.

"He come home?" Tessa asks. I know how they both feel. I've missed Tobias terribly tonight also.

"I'm afraid he still has a lot of work left to do, girls," I say as I shelf the book. "He told me he probably wouldn't even be home before I go to bed."

"Call him?" Tessa asks.

"Peas?" Teags asks.

"I'll tell you what, let's go upstairs and find Tyler then I'll call Daddy. If he has time to talk, we'll all say goodnight," I say, "but if he's busy you'll have to wait until morning to talk to him. Okay?"

"Otay," Tessa says. Teags bounds off the couch and runs towards the stairs.

"Walk!" One day these two are going to be the death of me with their fearless nature. I guess it's a good thing we live in Dauntless. When we reach the top of the stairs, the girls run into Tyler's room, and I shake my head.

"Get out!" Tyler screams before I can get to his door. The girls immediately start to argue with him, calling their father completely forgotten. I clear my throat, and they all look up at me.

"Tessa and Teags want to call Daddy," I say. "Do you want to be in on the call, Tyler?"

"Yes, Mommy," he says.

"Apologize to your sisters for yelling at them."

"But, Mommy…"

"Now, Tyler," I firmly say.

"I sorry I yelled at you, Tess. I sorry I yelled at you, Teags," he pouts. "But you comed in my room without knocking." No wonder he yelled.

"Girls, you know you're supposed to knock before you come into Tyler's room," I say.

"Sowwy, Ty-Ty," Tessa says.

"Call Dadda," Teags says.

"Aren't you going to apologize to your brother for barging in?" I ask.

"No."

"Teagan Grace."

"Sowwy, Ty-Ty," she mutters. "Now you call Dadda, Mama?"

"All right everyone sit on Tyler's bed." I pull out my phone as they line up and plop down on his little bed. Within a couple rings, Tobias picks up.

"Hey, love." He sounds weary.

"Hi, baby," I say. "Are you terribly busy?"

"Unfortunately, I am."

"The kids and I want to say goodnight," I say. "Do you have time?"

"I always have time for my favorite people in the world," he says. "Just a minute, Tris." He covers the mouthpiece on his phone and says something to someone but I can't make it out. "I'm back. Put me on speaker, please."

"Okay." I press the speaker icon and hold the phone out in front of me. "Say hi to Daddy." The kids all start talking at once telling their daddy about their evening.

"One at a time! One at a time!" he says with a chuckle. "Pebbles, why don't you tell me what you guys had for supper?" Her eyes light up the minute her father calls her by his special nickname.

"Mommy made chicken and 'tables," she says.

"Chicken and vegetables? That sounds good. I had a dry old hamburger in the cafeteria. I wish I could have had supper with the four of you. Teags, what did you do after supper?" She starts telling Tobias an in-depth story but I really have no idea what she's saying. It's a good thing I'm here to translate.

"A little help, love!" he chuckles.

"We went up to the rooftop deck and played with the chalk," I say, my eyes on Teags and she nods happily. At least I'm telling the same story. At the beginning of spring we had some concrete pavers installed that the kids use to doodle on with neon and pastel colored chalks. They love it. "Teags drew a picture of the five of us."

"An' the bebes," she says matter-of-factly.

"And apparently the babies, too, although I didn't see them in her drawing," I say.

"They in you tum-tum," she says.

"I got that," Tobias laughs.

"When we all got tired we came in, and I read Tessa and Teags their favorite book twice while Tyler played in his room."

"That sounds like a very nice evening, Teags," he says. "Buddy, did you have a nice time with Mommy this afternoon?"

"Yeah! I wish her could stay home all the time," he says. "She fun but we had to take a nap."

"And it was a very good nap," I say.

"How about you, love? How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Well, either the bland supper was exactly what I needed or the anti-nausea medication finally kicked in. It stayed with me, and I feel great," I say.

"Come home, Dadda?" Tessa asks. "Miss you."

"I miss you, too, Pebbles," he says. "I miss each and every one of you but I still have some work to do so I can't come home yet. As a matter of fact, I better get back to work. The sooner I finish the sooner I can get home."

"I love you, Daddy," Tyler says.

"Love you, Dadda," Tessa says as Teags blows kisses at the phone.

"Teags is kissing at the phone," Tyler laughs.

"Lub 'ou!"

"I love you, too, Tyler, Tessa, and Teags. Be good for Mommy and have a good night."

"We will, Daddy," Tyler says. "I promise."

"Do you have any idea when you'll get home?" I ask after I turn the speakerphone off.

"Not really," he says. "I promise it will be as soon as humanly possible."

"I love you, baby. I'll try to wait up for you."

"I love, too," he says. "And you don't have to do that. You need the rest. Kiss the kids for me. I love you all. I'll be home soon."

"We love you, too," I say. "Bye."

"Bye, love," he says then we hang up.

"Tyler, buddy, please put your PJs on," I say. "You can quietly play or read until I come back in to say goodnight."

"Okay, Mommy," he says. "'Night, Tess. "Night, Teags."

"'Night, Ty-Ty," they say at the same time.

"Come on girls," I say. I take each of their hands and lead them into my bathroom. After they both use the potty, I let them pick out their own pajamas as a reward. They've both been doing such an amazing job. If Teags keeps up the good work, I'll have to take her shopping for big girl panties soon. Moisture wets my eyes at the thought but I shake off the melancholy. "Purple princess jammies coming right up for you, Miss Tessa, and orange, pink, and white stripes for you, Miss Teagan." I dig through their dresser until I find what I'm looking for. "Here you go, Tessa. Do you need help?"

"I do it," she says with a sleepy smile.

"Okay," I say. "Come here, Teags. Mommy will help you."

"I big giwl," she pouts. "I's do it." Who knew independence could feel like a sword to the heart.

"Okay," I say as I hand her the PJs. "Let me know if I can help you."

"'Kay," she says. I sit down in the rocking chair, watching as they put their pajamas on. It takes them each a few tries but they both manage to get dressed without my help, which makes me sad. They truly are big girls.

"Come here," I say as I hold my arms out to them both. Once they climb up onto my lap, they snuggle into my embrace, looking up at me. "How about tomorrow morning after Daddy goes to work we go to the furniture store and get you big girl beds for your new room? We can also look at bedding and accessories, too. Does that sound like fun?"

"Yeah!" they both say but their enthusiasm is tempered by fatigue. I'm sure they'll be bouncing off the walls with excitement tomorrow. I rock them for a little bit as I listen to what they want their room to be like. They mention everything from fairies and princesses to butterflies and frogs to dragons and castles around wide yawns. It actually gives me an idea of what to do with their room, and I make a mental note to call Gunner.

"Are you two ready for bed?" I ask but get no answer. "Guys?" I look down and see that both my girls are sound asleep on my lap. _Shit! That's not good._ "How am I supposed to get you in bed?" I carefully stand up, making sure I have a firm grip on both of them and head into my bedroom. As gently as possible, I lay them down on the bed. Thankfully, they don't wake up. Then I pick Tessa back up and put her to bed.

"Mommy?" I hear Tyler say as he comes into the room.

"You have to be quiet, buddy," I say. "Your sisters are asleep."

"I was wondering where you was," he whispers. "I sleepy."

"I have to put Teags in bed then I'll be in to tuck you in, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy," he says then he mopes out the door toward his room. I quickly pick up Teags and put her in her crib, kiss her forehead, then make my way into Tyler's room. He's curled up in ball in the middle of the bed, his eyes barely open.

"Did you tire yourself out tonight playing?"

"Mm-hm," he murmurs.

"Goodnight, buddy," I say as I run my fingers through his hair and his eyes flutter shut. "I love you to the moon and back."

"Moon back," he mutters, not opening his eyes.

"Sleep well, my sweet boy." I snugly tuck him in and kiss his forehead before turning on his nightlight then I return to my bedroom.

I want to wait up for Tobias but I'm finding myself exhausted once again. I should give Isobel or Stella a call and ask how long this extreme fatigue lasts, through the first trimester or the entire pregnancy. The thought of being this tired for the next seven months is downright depressing. I go downstairs and settle in on the couch with the intention of reading the last few chapters in the book I'm currently reading but it doesn't take long for me to fall asleep.

"Wake up, love," I hear Tobias say. I drag my heavy eyelids open and find him sitting on the coffee table gazing at me.

"Hi."

"Hey, beautiful," he says.

"What time is it?" I mumble as I sit up, making room for him.

"A little after 10 o'clock," he says as he gets up off the coffee table and sits down beside me. I snuggle into his side as he drapes his arm over my shoulders. "How long have you been asleep?"

"I'm not entirely sure," I say. "About an hour I think."

"I should get you to bed," he says. "You're probably exhausted."

"I'd rather spend some time with you."

"Are you sure?" he asks. "You look so tired."

"I'm sure."

"All right," he says. "Tell me about your evening."

"I think we pretty much covered everything on the phone earlier," I say, running over the events of the afternoon and evening in my mind. "There is something I want to talk to you about though. Shortly after I got home this afternoon, Bridget told me that the kids are worried about me. She overheard them talking about the twins and my morning sickness. Apparently, it makes them sad seeing me sick."

"Of course, it does, love," he says. "No one in this household likes to see you sick."

"I hate that you all worry about me."

"I will always worry," he says. "You know that."

"I know. I've accepted that it's one of the many ways you show your love," I say. "But our kids shouldn't be concerned about anything ever. They've already had to deal with so much in their young lives, especially Tyler. They should always be healthy, happy, and safe. Worrying about their mommy doesn't belong in that equation."

"Tris, they love you so much," he says. "You are their mother so, of course, it's going to upset them seeing you sick. The girls were really scared when they came and got me this morning."

"I know. I could see it in their eyes. I don't think I'll ever get used to the idea of our kids worrying about me or about us though." I nuzzle closer to him and take a deep breath, inhaling his masculine scent. Damn, he smells good. "Tell me about your evening. What took you so long? What did the team from Erudite find? Did Zander get any test results back yet? Did you read over Shaffer and Eugenia's statements? Were there any inconsistencies?"

"Take a breath, love," he says with a chuckle.

"I guess I got excited."

"Well, Simon, Tony, and their men photographed and diagrammed the entire area for our records. Zander and his helper took samples of each blood stain that was found. It will be a couple days at least for him to get the full results to me. I did tell him to notify me the moment he gets a match, _if_ he gets a match. I'm anxious to know if this has anything to do with Hector's father."

"Me, too."

"As for the crime scene investigators from Erudite, they found evidence of a recent cleanup in the maintenance hallway," he says. "I watched them working from a safe distance, mainly because I didn't trust them but the longer I watched the more fascinated I became. When they cut the lights in the hallway and applied the alternative light source, the areas of dried blood, even though they were invisible to the naked eye, reacted with the chemical, and you could see more handprints along the walls and clear signs of a cleanup on every surface. Zander took samples there also but the stains might be too compromised from the cleaning supplies that were used."

"So it will be a few days before we really know anything," I say.

"I estimate midweek at the earliest," he says. "Zander is supposed to be off this weekend but he's going to work a few hours tomorrow to help us out. I don't have an exact count but I know he took well over 100 samples from both the chasm and the tunnel. It's going to take time to get the results and make sense of them."

"So, what took you so long to come home?" I ask. "I thought the kids were going to rebel and refuse to go to bed until they saw you."

"The process was a long and tedious one," he says. "I could have had Will, Shauna, or James keep tabs on things but I felt like it was my responsibility. Besides, like I said, it was interesting seeing the evidence basically come to life right before my eyes. It gives me a new respect for the scientists at Erudite. Some of the things they come up with are mind boggling."

"I'm sorry I had to bail on you earlier," I say. "I've been thinking about talking to either Stella or Isobel about how long the fatigue will last. If it keeps going the way it has been, I might have to adjust my schedule to allow for afternoon naps."

"That can be arranged," he says.

"Do you ever want to be in two places at once, Tobias?" I ask as I absentmindedly run the hem of his shirt through my fingers.

"All the time, especially on nights like tonight," he says. "When I'm at work, I want nothing more than to be with you and the kids. I'd like to say that I've never wanted to be anywhere else when I'm with you and the kids…"

"But that would be a lie," I say with a giggle.

"Yeah, it would, especially when they're being monsters."

"I know. I feel the same way," I say.

"Why did you ask, love?" he softly asks, realizing I have something on my mind.

"I think the fact that we're going to be the parents of five pretty soon is hitting me like a ton of bricks. Even though I really like Bridget and trust her wholeheartedly with the kids, I already hate leaving Tyler, Tessa, and Teags with her to go to work. And the thought of leaving two more kids nearly makes me physically ill," I say. "I love my job, don't get me wrong, and I can't imagine never doing it again but on the other hand, I miss so much when I leave them with someone else to look after day in and day out. I guess I'm confused."

"You know I'll support you no matter what you decide to do," he says. "If you want to stay home full time and raise our kids, do it. If you want things to stay exactly the way they are right now, I'm all for that, too. And if you want to work even less hours, we'll make it work for the faction and for us."

"Why am I so confused?" I mutter. "I thought I had my mind made up. I know that it's hard to leave the kids but I don't think I would be completely happy without my work. Why is this so frustrating?"

"You know, I've been floating an idea around for a while," he says, "but I didn't know how you would take it."

"What's that?" I ask.

"You could step down from leadership allowing us to choose a new leader who could take a more active role in the compound, and your new official title would be office manager. You know how clerical tasks take up a good 50% of our time. If we had one person doing all the office work, it would free up time for the rest of us to make sure the faction is running smoothly and hopefully we could avoid situations in the future like we're finding ourselves in right now with intruders sneaking into the faction again. If it was too much for you working part time, we could hire you an assistant.

"You rarely leave the Pire now as it is, and the majority of your job duties is filing incident reports. It wouldn't be a huge change but it would give us another member of leadership to help us out. What do you think?"

"My rational side thinks it sounds like a well thought out idea that has a lot of potential," I quietly say as my bottom lip quivers, "but the pregnancy hormones are making me hate it."

"Hey, don't cry, love," he says as he tightens his embrace and kisses the top of my head. I can tell by his tone that he doesn't know how to handle me right now and the thought makes me sob even harder. _Ugh! Damn hormones!_

"I am _so_ sorry, Tobias," I say once I gain my composure. We're now lying down on the couch, my head resting on his chest as he runs his fingers through my hair.

"May I ask you something?" he cautiously asks.

"Of course," I say. "You can ask me anything. I'm pretty sure the crying jag is over." I think I hear him mutter thank God but I can't be sure because his voice was so low.

"What set off that reaction?" I start to answer but he cuts me off. "I know your emotions are all over the place right now. I get it but I think there has to be a deeper reason than just the pregnancy." _Hhm. Is he right about that? Did my reaction have a deeper meaning?_

"I don't know what to say," I murmur.

"The truth is always a good place to start no matter what," he says.

"It's just that … part of me feels like you don't want me to be a leader anymore," I say.

"Oh, Tris, that is _definitely_ not true. I want you by my side running this faction. We're a team, a very good team."

"I know that," I say. "Up here." I point to my head. "I really do. It's just the hormones making me feel this way." He cups my cheeks and gazes deeply into my eyes.

"As far as I'm concerned, you'll always be a leader of this faction whether you work 4 hours a week or 40," he says. "And you'll always be my second no matter what. You're the only one I want in that position." A sly grin turns up his lips. "As a matter of fact, you're the only one I want in a _variety_ of positions."

" _Tobias Eaton!_ We're supposed to be having a serious conversation here," I playfully scold.

"Maybe we should talk about sex instead."

"You're terrible," I giggle. He kisses my neck with a chuckle of his own.

"So, what do you think?" he asks. "Is it something you would be interested in?"

"The new job or some sex?"

"Both," he says.

"Can I think about it?" I ask. "The job that is."

"Of course, and there's no hurry," he says. "I haven't mentioned it to anyone else. Just think about it. It could be the answer to your dilemma."

"Okay, I'll think about it," I say. "I promise."

"And now maybe we can talk about that sex." He grazes his hand up the side of my body until he cups my chin, and he turns my mouth towards his. He kisses me tenderly for a moment then runs his tongue along the seam of my lips, causing me to open my mouth. He slips his tongue inside and glides it along mine. I fist my fingers in his hair as I groan into his open mouth and he rolls me under him as the kiss deepens. "Should we take this upstairs?"

"Mm-hm," I murmur against his lips.

"Hold tight," he roughly says. I tightly wrap my arms and legs around him, and he manages to get us up off the couch and immediately takes us to our bedroom, our lips never leaving each other's. He gently eases us down onto the bed and covers my body with his.

"Oh, God," I moan as I try to work his shirt off.

"Mama!" Tessa cries out over the baby monitor, startling us both. "Mama."

"I'll check on her," he says as she calls out a third time for me.

"I better come with you," I say as I follow him off the bed.

"Dadda!" she happily says when she sees him enter the room. "I waked up. I not tiwed no mowe."

"Sshh! Don't wake your sister, Pebbles," he says.

"You should try to go back to sleep though, little one," I say, "or you'll be tired and grouchy tomorrow."

"I miss you, Dadda," she pouts, holding her arms out to him. "So much."

"Come here," he says as he lifts her into his arms. "I'll rock you back to sleep."

"Otay!"

"Dadda?" we hear Teagan say. She's rubbing her eyes as she gets to her feet. _Great. Now they're both awake_. "Home?" She smiles brightly when her eyes focus on him. "I up, too."

"Come here," I say.

" _No_." She frowns. "Dadda."

"I'll rock you, too," Tobias says. "But Mommy has to get you out of your crib and set you on my lap. I already have my hands full."

"'Kay," she mutters.

"Come here, my sweet girl." I lift her out of her crib and give her a quick kiss on the head before sitting her on her father's lap next to Tessa.

"Why don't you take a bath and relax?" he asks. "We'll pick up where we left off after two little girls go back to sleep."

"That actually sounds like a wonderful idea," I say. I press my lips to his but have to physically pull myself away from the kiss before it deepens. "Goodnight, little one." I kiss Tessa's head then Teags'. "Goodnight, my sweet girl."

"Love you, Mama," Tessa says with a yawn. Good she's still tired.

"Lub 'ou, Mama," Teags says as she snuggles against Tobias' chest.

"Mommy loves you both," I say then leave the room and go into the bathroom.

I strip out of my clothes then draw a warm bath. I put a few drops of lavender oil in the tub and inhale the relaxing scent. After turning the water off, I step into the tub and ease myself down into the soothing water, lie back, and close my eyes. If I'm not careful, I could fall asleep. Just as the water is beginning to cool off, I get out and dry myself off. After I put on my coconut oil lotion, I go into the nursery and stop in my tracks. Tobias is sitting in the rocker with both girls in his lap and all three of them are fast asleep.

"Baby," I whisper after I gently lay my hand on his shoulder. "Wake up." It takes a minute or two of cajoling but he finally opens his eyes. He looks confused. "You fell asleep rocking the girls."

"Oh," he mumbles. I take Tessa out of his arms and carefully lay her in her crib while Tobias does the same with Teags. We kiss their heads then go into our bedroom. "Where were we?" He takes me in his arms and kisses his way down to the sensitive skin beneath my ear.

"I wouldn't mind doing this but you're half asleep and, to tell you the truth, I'm exhausted. Let's just go to bed."

"I don't think I'm going argue, love," he murmurs. I watch as he strips down to his boxer briefs then we slide between our luxurious sheets. He gently pulls me close, I rest my head on his chest, and he kisses my forehead. "Goodnight, Tris."

"Goodnight, Tobias. I love you."

"Love you, too."


	37. Chapter 37

Soft, distant murmuring pulls me from a deep, refreshing slumber. I pry my heavy eyelids open as I stretch my arms up over my head and yawn big. When my eyes focus, I see that Tobias has pulled the light sheet and blanket off us and has my cami pushed up just under my breasts, exposing the skin of my tummy.

"Whatcha doin'?" I mumble, running my fingers through his unruly tresses. After a soft kiss just below my navel, he crawls up my body.

"Good morning, love," he says as places a tender kiss on my lips. "I was just having a conversation with Button and Bean."

"I remember when you used to do that with Teags," I say, caressing his cheek. "That's probably why she's such a Daddy's girl."

"You're probably right," he says with a chuckle. After another chaste kiss, he shifts so that he's lying beside me with his large hand splayed across my belly. "You have a little bump."

"I do?" I excitedly move my hand to join his and he's right. It's slight but there's definitely a protrusion there. "You do realize I'm going to be as big as a barn, right?"

"And you'll still be the most gorgeous woman I know, and I'll worship your body everyday like the temple it is," he murmurs against my ear, making me shudder.

"Oh, baby, you always know what to say to make me feel better. I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too, Tris," he says as he rolls over on top of me. His mouth meets mine in a fiery, soul-stealing kiss. I immediately thread my fingers into his hair, pulling him close. He slides one hand up under my cami and covers a breast, pebbling the nipple with just the flick of his thumb as his other hand moves lower to cup my bottom. I wrap my legs around his waist as he grinds his erection into me, causing a flood of moisture to my core.

"God, I want you," I murmur against his lips. He lowers his hands to the hem of my camisole and starts to lift it off my body when movement off to my left makes us freeze. Tessa's standing in the doorway to the nursery, wide eyed.

"Pebbles, how did you get out of your crib?" Tobias asks, his voice gruff with need.

"I got out," she says matter-of-factly. I definitely made the right choice to go shopping with her later today. She needs out of the nursery and in her own room yesterday. "Mama, I gotsta potty." I notice she's dancing from one foot to the other.

"Well, you better go," I say. "I'll meet you in just a minute to help." She turns and runs toward the bathroom.

"Two more minutes and she would have seen things no child should ever see," he says as he relaxes on top of me. God, I still love the feel of his full weight on me after all this time.

"I know," I say, kissing his neck. "By the look on her face, she saw more than she should anyway. I need to get up, baby."

"Of course," he says. He rolls off me and just lies there.

"I'm frustrated, too," I say, looking down at his tented sleep pants. I can't help myself. I graze my palm along his length then squeeze gently. He groans.

"You're mean, Mrs. Eaton," he gruffly says.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Eaton," I say. "We'll just have to wait until tonight."

"Go help Pebbles before she comes back in here," he says then he laughs. "Who knew we needed to close the nursery door?" I giggle as I climb out of bed and make my way into the bathroom.

"Hi, Mama," Tessa says. She's sitting on the potty chair without a stitch of clothing on.

"I see you managed to make it to the potty without an accident," I say as I put her PJs in the hamper. "Did you climb out of your crib?"

"Yeah," she says. "I had to potty so I got out by myself." Part of me is proud that she was able to get out of her crib on her own but a larger more protective part is terrified she could have been hurt. I squat down in front of her.

"I don't want you to do that again," I say. "You could have fallen and really hurt yourself. Was Teags watching you?" Panic starts to strangle me thinking of my baby girl trying to climb out.

"No, she seepin'," she says.

"Teags tries to do _everything_ you do," I say. "You'd feel bad if your baby sister fell and hurt herself."

"Yeah," she sighs.

"No more climbing out of the crib. Promise, little one," I say.

"Pwomise, Mama."

"And I promise that Daddy and I will get you into a big girl bed soon."

"Otay," she says. "I done."

"How about a bath?" I ask after I get her cleaned up.

"Otay, Mama," she says. I can't hide my shock when she doesn't argue with me. She sees this, too, and grins from ear to ear.

"Good morning, my lovely ladies," Tobias says as he walks into the bathroom about half-an-hour later with Teagan in his arms. They're wearing matching smiles.

"Hi, Dadda!" Tessa squeals as she splashes in the tub. He sets Teags on the potty and turns to us.

"Who's that taking a bath, Tris?" he asks with a mock serious expression on his face. "Our oldest daughter isn't fond of bath time, and this little angel appears to be having a good time."

"It me, Dadda," she says. "Tessa." He squats down and looks her over.

"By golly, I think you're right! You are Tessa!"

"Silly, Dadda!" she cries as she launches herself at him. I swear my heart stops until I see that she's safe and sound in her father's arms. She's going to be the death of me today.

"I think you're working on Mommy's nerves," he says to her as he wraps her in a towel but she just frowns in confusion. "You keep scaring Mommy."

"I sowwy, Mama," she pouts.

"It's okay, little one," I say, realizing my hand is resting over my racing heart. "Try not to be such a daredevil, okay?"

"Otay," she says.

"Let's get you dressed," Tobias says as he heads towards the nursery.

"I baff, Mama?" Teags asks.

"Yep," I say as I take the stopper out of the drain. "Sissy's water got cold. I'll draw you a fresh one."

"'Kay," she says as she leans against the tub, looking in.

"Did you have a good night?" I ask. I wrap my arms around her and realize she's shivering. "Are you cold, Teags?" She nods her little head up and down. I grab a towel off the warmer and snugly wrap it around her, and she sighs contentedly. "Is that better?"

"Mm-hm," she murmurs. Once just the right amount of water is in the tub, she reluctantly leaves the warmth of the cozy towel and I help her climb in. As soon as she realizes that it's just as warm, she's all smiles again.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says as he walks into the room. "Hi, Teags."

"Hi, Ty-Ty," she says.

"Morning, buddy," I say. "You sure look handsome today."

"Just like Daddy?" he asks.

"Exactly like your daddy," I say.

"He helped me get ready and picked out what to wear," he proudly says. "I even taked a bath. Are we gonna eat soon. I'm hungry."

"Me, too," Teags says, suddenly looking forlorn.

"I hungwy, too," Tessa says as she runs into the room. She skids to a stop when she sees her brother. "Hi, Ty-Ty!"

"Hi, Tess."

"As soon as Mommy and Daddy are ready, we'll go to the cafeteria for breakfast," Tobias says, hot on the heels of our daughter who is only partially clothed. "Is that okay with you, love?"

"That sounds great," I say.

"Come on, Pebbles," he says. "You've got to finish getting dressed."

"Otay," she says as he picks her up.

"Do you have to go potty again?" I ask.

"No!"

"All right," I say.

"Tyler, why don't you come with us," he says.

"All right, Daddy. I'll see you later, Mommy," he says then leaves with Tobias and Tessa.

"Are you about ready to get out?" I ask Teags after she's been playing for five minutes.

"No," she whines.

"But I thought you were hungry." When I mention that her face changes.

"Yeah! Hungwy, Mama." I let the water out of the tub and wrap her in a fresh, warm towel. After quickly drying her off, we walk into the nursery and I help her get dressed. I'm wondering what I'll put her in when I see that Tobias has already laid out an outfit for her, which looks remarkably similar to what Tyler was wearing, a simple black and gray t-shirt and black jean shorts. The only exception is Teags will be wearing sparkly gray sandals instead of black and gray slip-on boat shoes.

"Let's go find Daddy, Tyler, and Tessa," I say once she's dressed. I follow her downstairs and into the living room. Tyler and Tessa are sitting on the couch listening to Tobias finish the "fairytale" of how we met for probably the hundredth time at least. Teags starts pouting because she missed it.

"How about some cartoons while Mommy and Daddy get ready?" Tobias asks after he sits Teagan on the couch between her brother and sister. The kids eagerly nod in agreement, a rarity. He puts a DVD in of old Mickey Mouse shorts while I head upstairs.

I quickly undress and step into the large shower after putting my pajamas in the hamper. I'm rinsing the delicious smelling coconut conditioner out of my hair when I feel Tobias' strong arms encircle my waist.

"I thought maybe you might need someone to do your back," he says, his lips pressed against my ear and his erection pressed against the small of my back.

"I'm not sure I believe that's your intention for coming in here," I mumble as I slowly rub myself against him, feeling him lengthen and harden even more.

"You could be right," he murmurs as he glides his hands up to cup my breasts. He gently massages the aching mounds as he trails open-mouth kisses along my neck and shoulder. "Do you want to pick up where we left off before Tessa unexpectedly interrupted us? We have about five minutes before the kids come up demanding to be fed." Instead of answering, I turn in his arms and pull his mouth to mine. We let our tongues tangle as our hands roam over each other's naked, wet skin. His touch is light and teasing. When my body begins to tremble from unfulfilled lust, I drag his hand between my parted thighs where I want it. He immediately searches the moist folds to find my throbbing bundle of nerves and starts roughly circling it with the tips of his fingers. "Is this what you want?"

"Yeah," I whimper, slumping against his body. He wraps his free arm around my waist, keeping me upright.

"You could have just asked," he says.

"Please," I moan as his touch intensifies, although I'm not entirely sure what it is I'm begging for. " _Please_ , baby."

"What do you want, love?" he roughly asks, his lips dropping feather-light kisses around my left ear. I don't know I'm close until his hot breath hits the extremely sensitive skin, and I slip over the edge into a very satisfying climax.

"You. Inside. Me. Now." I manage to shove the words out in between the final shattering explosions that rocket through my body. He sits on the shower bench and pulls me down onto his hard length. I moan, he feels so good deep inside. After wrapping our arms around each other, we start to move. It doesn't take long and we're carrying each other through the final moments of our shared release, panting against each other's mouth.

"We should probably finish our shower," he finally says.

"Mm-hmm," I murmur against his lips, not having fully regained the use of my lungs just yet. He gives me a quick but passionate kiss then lifts me off his lap. We both quickly run through our morning routine and make it downstairs before the cartoons Tobias put in the DVD player finish.

"We go now?" Tyler asks when Tobias and I come around the corner and into sight. "I hungry."

"Me, too," Tessa and Teags say at the same time then dissolve into a fit of giggles.

"You girls sure are silly," Tobias says. He picks them both up, one in each arm, and I take Tyler's hand, and we file out of the apartment.

"By the way, I'm taking Tessa and Teags to the furniture store after breakfast to look at bedroom sets," I say about halfway to the Pit. The girls begged Tobias to put them down when we reached the path so they're walking about six feet in front of us beside Tyler.

"I guess it's time after Pebbles climbed out of her crib this morning," he says with a sigh.

"They both got ready for bed last night without me lifting a finger," I say. "It made me so proud but…" My quivering voice trails off while I combat the emotion welling up inside me.

"But it made you want to cry," he says, finishing my sentence for me.

"I think I did tear up a bit actually."

"I would have, too," he says as he drops a kiss on my forehead. "I nearly did when Tessa was standing there all wide eyed and innocent this morning. Our girls are growing up too fast."

"All three of them are," I say.

"So, do you have a plan like you did with Tyler's room?" he asks.

"They were so excited when I told them we're going to look at furniture today that they gave me a ton of ideas for how they want their room to look and, in turn, it gave me a few ideas. I have to call Gunner and see if he's available for a mural at the very least."

"What's your idea?"

"Either a princess castle or a fairy castle," I quietly say then I proceed to repeat exactly what they told me they want for their room.

"How about fairy princesses?" Tobias says.

"That's actually a very good idea," I say.

"Are you going to have Gunner build the furniture, too?"

"I've thought about it but they have really cute bedroom sets in the furniture store for little girls," I say. "But if they don't have anything that will work with my vision, I'll have him build something."

"You are such a wonderful mother," he says.

"I just want them to have a happy childhood," I say. "I'm not saying my upbringing was bad but I feel like I missed out on a lot, and I don't want that for our kids."

"I understand," he says. "We just have to be careful though. We don't want to spoil them."

"I know," I say as I gaze at our three pride and joy. Unlike most Dauntless children, they're walking down the path in an orderly fashion, quietly talking and laughing amongst themselves. Anytime someone passes they hug the wall making sure there's enough room for the passersby to maneuver. "I think we've done a remarkably good job so far."

"We have," he says. "There's no doubt about that."

"Zane!" Tyler, Tessa, and Teags each squeal at the same time when they see the Parrish's come out of a hallway and turn toward the Pit. Zane turns at the sound of his name and the kids take off running down the path.

"So much for thinking they're well behaved," I say as Tobias shakes his head.

"Hey!" he roars, making our kids stop in their tracks. When they look over their shoulders at us, he motions for them to come back. They each hang their head and drag their feet until they reach us. "Are you supposed to run on the path?" They each shake their head, their pout bottom lips sticking out. "Why were you running then?" They all look at each other then back at us but don't say a word. "I'm waiting."

"I saw Zane and I got excited," Tyler quietly says. "I want to say hi so I runned. I think Tess and Teags followed me. I sorry, Daddy. I haven't seen him in so long." Tobias kneels down so he's no longer looming over the kids like a giant.

"You three listen to me," he says, his voice calm and controlled but I can hear an edge of fear. "Do you know what would happen if you were to fall off the path?" Tyler glances over the edge and shudders. Tessa and Teags lunge at me and tightly wrap their arms around my legs. "It would hurt you very badly. It could even take you away from Mommy and Daddy forever. Mommy and Daddy don't want that. That's why there's no running on the path." Just then two kids around Tyler's age, maybe a little older, go charging past us. It's obvious what's coming next.

"They running," Tyler says, confused.

"We don't make the rules for other little boys and girls," I say. "Just for you and your sisters. We want you safe."

"But you the leaders," Tyler says, a befuddled look on his face. "You make all the rules." I meet Tobias' eyes not really knowing what to say. Tyler is absolutely right. We do make the rules for the faction.

"You're right, buddy. Mommy and Daddy make the rules for Dauntless," Tobias says.

"Shouldn't we have the same rules, Daddy?" he asks. I study our son's face and he's not being disrespectful. He's genuinely confused as to why he and his sisters have to follow one set of rules and every other child in the faction has another set.

"Oh, Tyler," Tobias sighs. "Come here, buddy." Tyler flies into his father's arms and hugs him tightly. "Mommy and Daddy make the rules for the faction members to follow not for the kids. Do you understand?"

"No," they all say.

"Mommy and Daddy make your rules so that you are safe," Tobias says. "We don't tell other mommy and daddy's how to raise their kids."

"You see, most members have lived here all their life," I say.

"Like Tess and Teags," Tyler states.

"That's right," I say. "So, they're not afraid of falling off the path but Mommy fell off the edge of the path once and, let me tell you, I was _very_ scared. I didn't think I was going to see your daddy again. So, we know accidents can happen but not everyone does. So, you listen to Mommy and Daddy and don't worry about what the other kids are doing. Okay?"

"Okay," Tyler says. "I sorry I runned. I got excited."

"Sowwy, Mama," Tessa says.

"Sowwy," Teags says still clinging to my leg.

"Try to remember in the future. All of you," I say. "No running on the path no matter how excited you get."

"Or there will be consequences," Tobias firmly says. They all nod at their father. "Come on, let's get breakfast. I know you're hungry." After a little coaxing, Tessa and Teags let go of my legs and grab ahold of Tyler's proffered hands.

"What's wrong?" I ask when I notice Tobias is brooding.

"I was too gruff with them."

"No, you weren't," I say. "They need discipline."

"Why do I feel like they hate me?" he softly asks.

"Your fear landscape, I imagine," I say. He blows out a breath and stares straight ahead. "You were right to do what you did. They needed stopped and talked to. That's what you did. You didn't lay a finger on them like your father did to you. You're not Marcus. You are a wonderful father. Believe that."

"Dadda, I want up," Teags says. She's standing in the middle of the path with her arms held out to him. This automatically puts a smile on his face. Hopefully, he'll get over the notion that the kids hate him just because he raised his voice. He leans down and scoops her up in his arms, and she rewards him with a sloppy kiss right on the mouth. "Lub 'ou, Dadda."

"Told you," I murmur as I walk past him and take Tyler and Tessa's hands and lead them to the cafeteria.


	38. Chapter 38

"I'd like to come to the furniture store with you and the kids if you don't mind," Tobias says after he finishes eating breakfast. Tyler, Tessa, and Teags are crowded around Uriah hoping to sneak bites of chocolate cake while we aren't looking but their honorary uncle knows better than that. Tobias has threatened on numerous occasions to cancel Dauntless cake if he does, and to Uriah that is tantamount to a death sentence. He thinks he would die without his cake. Who knows, as much as he eats, it might be true.

"I'd love for you to join us but are you sure you have time?" I ask. "Don't you have to meet with Zander and the investigators from Erudite?"

"I always have time for you and the kids," he says. "I can take half an hour or so and see what they have."

"If you're sure." I push my half full plate away from me and Tobias frowns.

"Are you okay?" he asks. "You didn't eat much. Morning sickness?"

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I haven't been able to eat much lately and I'm just full." He studies my face, searching to see if I'm telling the truth I imagine. "I feel pretty good this morning. Please don't worry."

"Okay," he says. "What do you have planned for the rest of the day?"

"I'm not entirely sure yet," I say then I lower my voice. "I've thought about the park or the pool but I'm not sure I have the energy for that by myself. I've also thought about dropping in on Ruth. It's been a while. I've also thought about dropping by Abnegation and seeing Mom and Dad."

"Are we going to Grandma and Grandpa's?" Tyler excitedly asks, overhearing our conversation. Tessa and Teags abandon hope of getting their hands on the chocolate cake and come wiggle their way between Tobias and me.

"Gamma?" Tessa asks, wide eyed.

"Gwamps?" Teags asks with a huge smile. They obviously love their grandparents.

"We'll see. They might be busy with Abnegation's initiation," I say.

"Aah," all three of them whine.

"But I'll call them, okay?"

"Yeah!" they cry.

"Excuse me while I make a call," I say as I get up from the table. I walk out of the noisy cafeteria and onto the equally boisterous Pit floor. I search out a quiet hallway and find myself near the dorm rooms. I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial my mother.

"Hello, Beatrice," she answers on the fourth ring. I was about to give up.

"Hi, Mom. How are you?"

"I'm well," she says sounding somewhat out of breath.

"Are you and Dad busy today? The kids would love to see their grandparents." I hear rustling of fabric and a scratching sound like something covering the mouthpiece of her phone. I start to worry but then I hear laughter, no … giggling. _What in the world?_ I've never heard my mom giggle before.

"Stop it," she whispers.

"Mom? Mom, are you okay?"

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry," she says. "I was just, uh, saying goodbye to your father." She moves the phone again and says, "You're going to be late, Andrew."

"I don't care," I hear him say and it dawns on me. I think I interrupted my parents. _Oh God!_

"If you want, I can call back later," I say trying to breathe through the nausea that decided to make an appearance right now; however, I don't know if it's the morning sickness or the thought of my parents having sex.

"I'm sorry, Beatrice," she says. "I'm being rude. Your father has to work today but I have the day off. Why?"

"I was thinking of taking the kids to the park in the city center and was wondering if you would like to join us. When I mentioned you and Dad, the kids got really excited. They miss you," I say. "I could pack a lunch, and we could have a picnic."

"I would love that," she says. "What time should we meet?"

"How about 10:30?" I ask.

"That would be lovely," she says, seeming distracted again. "I'll see you then, Beatrice. Bye." She doesn't give me a chance to say goodbye but as she's hanging up the phone I hear her say, "Andrew Prior, you're being a very naughty boy."

"Oh. My. God." I stand staring at my phone not realizing I have company.

"There you are," Tobias says, causing me to jump. Seeing my distress, he rushes to my side. "What's wrong, love?" His hands roam protectively over my body.

"I think my parents were having sex," I mutter. "Or were getting ready to." _Ugh!_ I shudder thinking about it. I knew saying those words out loud would put a graphic image in my head that I'll never be able to erase. "She called him a naughty boy." He starts laughing, boisterously. "It's not funny, Tobias Eaton."

"Then why are you laughing?" he asks. He's right, I'm chuckling alongside him.

"I'm embarrassed," I say. I know I have to be bright red right now. "No, I'm _mortified_. I don't think I can ever look her in the eye again. I almost threw up in my mouth." This admission makes him laugh even harder. I cross my arms over my chest and glare up at my guffawing husband.

"I'm sorry," he says, still laughing but trying to get himself under control. "Come here." He opens his arms, which immediately fold around me when I press my body against his. I feel his lips in my hair, and I automatically feel better. "There's no need to be embarrassed. Your parents love each other."

"Parents aren't supposed to have sex," I mutter. He clears his throat, and I look up at him.

" _We_ are parents," he says. "Does this mean we stop having sex?"

"That's not what I meant," I say. " _My_ parents are not supposed to be acting…"

"Like we do?" I sigh, loudly. "Believe it or not, I understand what you're saying. No matter what, two things are true. First, as a child, we never want to think of our parents having sex. Maybe, just maybe, they did it once or twice to conceive us but then they discovered they were content with celibacy or better yet we convince ourselves that they never had the desire to have sexual intercourse, and we were made in test tubes." I can't help but giggle at that.

"And second?"

"As a parent, we never want to think of our kids having sex," he says and I grimace.

"Don't go there," I groan.

"See? Tris, love, I'm sure your mother is just as embarrassed as you but the facts of life is everyone has sex."

"That doesn't help," I mutter as I bury my head in his chest.

"What can I do to help?" He kisses the top of my head again as his fingertips graze my back.

"You're doing it," I murmur.

"We should probably go," he says after he holds me for a few quiet, uninterrupted minutes. "I left the kids in the cafeteria. Don't be surprised if they've talked Uriah into a bite or two of cake. He was looking weak when I left to come find you."

"It is hard to tell them no all the time," I chuckle.

"So, have you decided what you're going to do today?" he asks as he escorts me back to the cafeteria.

"I'm meeting Mom at the park," I say. "We'll have a picnic lunch and watch the kids play."

"That sounds nice," he says. "Your dad won't be able to make it?"

"She said he has to work but luckily it's her day off," I say.

"Mama, Mama," Tessa says as she comes running up to me.

"I think you're going to have to yell at Uriah," I say to Tobias, seeing a telltale smear of chocolate frosting on our daughter's chin.

"Uriah!"

"It's not my fault," he says. "I turned my back for one minute and they got into my plate."

"Is that true, little one?" I ask as I lift her into my arms.

"Yeah," she says, smacking her lips together. "It good."

"No more cake for breakfast, Tessa Beatrice," Tobias firmly says. "That goes for you, too, Tyler Aaron and Teagan Grace. Cake is not a breakfast food. You can only have cake for dessert after lunch or supper. It's not a main dish." He fixes his eyes on Uriah as he continues to talk to our kids.

"Yes, Daddy," Tyler says.

"Otay, Dadda," Tessa says.

"Sowwy, Dadda," Teags says.

"Why does it feel like I just got scolded by my Dad?" Uriah mumbles under his breath.

"'Cause you just got schooled, brother," Zeke says. "What happens when you and Mar decide to have kids? You gonna feed them boatloads of sugar for breakfast?"

"I'm sorry, Four, Tris," he says. "I won't have cake for breakfast anymore." I raise my brows at him. " _If_ the kids are around," he amends. That makes more sense.

"I for one would appreciate it, Uri," I say then turn my attention to my kids. "Guys, are you ready to go shopping?" The kids all excitedly nod and squeal with delight.

"Down," Tessa says so I set her on her feet next to her sister and brother. They walk between Tobias and me all the way to the furniture store. Before we enter, Tobias kneels in front of our brood to go over the rules.

"There will be no running, jumping, or roughhousing of any kind while you are in the store. You will use your indoor voices. There will be no arguing or fighting. There will be no climbing on the furniture. There will be no sitting on the furniture unless Mommy or Daddy says it's okay. Do you understand these rules?" They all nod.

"Okay then. Let's see if we can find Tessa and Teags big girl beds," I say. Tobias must see that I'm a bit choked up because he drapes his arm over my shoulders and pulls me close.

"I know it's hard seeing them grow up."

"It really is," I softly say as we head to the children's section. We look around for a few minutes, nothing really jumping out at me. Suddenly, the girls are oohing and aahing all over the place. When we see the set they're standing in front of, I smile. It's absolutely perfect except for one thing, it's a full-size bed. We need either bunk beds or twin beds.

"May I help you?" a friendly voice says from behind us.

"I get big giwl bed," Tessa says.

"Well that's fantastic," the sales clerk says. "Is your baby sister graduating to a big girl bed, too?"

"I not bebe," Teags sullenly says.

"Oh, pardon me. I am so sorry. I can see you are not a baby," she good-naturedly says with a friendly smile.

"We're looking for bunk beds or twin beds," Tobias says, reading my mind. "It seems the girls and my wife really like this set here. Do you have anything similar in what we're looking for?"

"Actually, if you would follow me, I think I have something that will work for you." She turns around and heads into the next room. We follow. I immediately see what she wants to show us and it's perfect. It's nearly identical to the larger set but not quite as ornate. It would let the mural be the focal point. "This is considered a convertible set, which means it will grow with the child from toddler to teenager by adjusting the height of the mattress."

"Pitty," Teags says as she runs her hand across the matching toy box.

"Do you like it, too, Tessa?" Tobias asks.

"Yeah," she says, her eyes wide and bright.

"What do you think, Tris?" he asks. "Is it okay for what you're wanting to do with their room?"

"Yes, I think it is," I say. "The beds can be along the far wall and murals can go on the side walls or maybe even on all three vacant walls. I'll discuss it with Gunner."

"Do you just need the beds?" the clerk asks.

"We'll take two beds, two toy boxes, three nightstand, two desks, one wardrobe, and one vanity," I say.

"Is there enough room for all that?" Tobias asks.

"The vanity can go in the bathroom," I say. "Everything else will easily fit. Their room isn't much smaller than Tyler's and think of how large his furniture is."

"True," he says.

"Do you have a rocking chair that matches?" I ask, knowing that my girls still love to be rocked almost on a nightly basis.

"There isn't but I'm sure the carpenters can easily design one for you."

"That would be great," I say. "I'd like to add that to the order."

"Well, guys, I have a meeting to go to," Tobias says. "Come give me hugs and kisses." Tyler gets to him first, throwing his arms around his neck and hugging him tightly before giving him a kiss goodbye. After Tyler releases Tobias, the girls practically attack him almost knocking him over. He gives them big hugs then peppers kisses all over their faces until they're both laughing hysterically.

"You better calm down," I say, although I can't keep the smile off my face.

"Sorry, love," Tobias says. "I hope I didn't rile them up too much."

"They'll be fine," I murmur. "Have a good day, baby. I'll see you when you get home. I love you."

"I love you, too," he says as he leans in and gives me a soft kiss, which sets off a giggling fit in our kids. "I better go before I get us in trouble." I give him another quick kiss then usher the kids towards the front of the store. Before we reach the register, something catches my eye. It's a beautiful antique-looking rocking horse in a distressed soft white that would match the girls' room perfectly.

"Guys, I need you to sit right here and don't move," I say. I line them up on a padded bench just out of earshot of the register.

"Is that the only rocking horse you have?" I quietly ask the clerk, trying to bring any unwanted attention to it. She glances in the direction I'm looking and nods.

"Unfortunately, it is; however, that is a special-order piece," she says. "You may order two, and you may also make it to any specifications you like."

"Or animal?"

"Yes," she says.

"I'd like to add two unicorns to my order," I say. "I need them to be identical though or they'll fight over the 'cute' one."

"Of course. I understand. My sons are close in age," she says with a smile. "Like I said, that's a special-order item so it will take at least six weeks."

"That's perfect," I say. "That's just in time for Teagan's second birthday. How long for the other furniture?"

"It will take two to three weeks to have it all shipped from Amity," she says. "The rocking chair will probably also be six weeks. Perhaps longer since they will be designing the piece from scratch."

"That's just perfect," I say. I'll call Gunner and have him start on the mural I'm thinking of.

"I'll call you when your order arrives and set up a time for delivery," she says.

"Thank you very much for your time this morning. I appreciate it," I say. "Come on, guys." I look at my phone and see that we still have plenty of time before we have to meet Mom in the park so I take the girls to pick out their bedding. Of course, Tessa wants purple and Teags wants pink so, with their help, I pick out the lightest pastels the store has for each of the girls.

"Mommy, can I get something, too?" Tyler asks. I can tell he's feeling a bit left out.

"You want new sheets for your bed?" He doesn't really need them but he's been remarkably good today and deserves a little something, too.

"Sure," he says. "Can I pick them?"

"Of course," I say.

"Hewe, Ty-Ty," Tessa says handing him a package of lavender sheets with little white butterflies all over them. He wrinkles his nose at his little sister.

"I don't want butterflies," he says, sounding indignant. She looks at the sheets and frowns.

"They pwetty," she says holding them back out to him, obviously confused as to why her brother doesn't want them.

"I don't like them, Tess. I want to pick out my own sheets."

"Otay," she pouts. He looks at every single set of sheets on the counter and finally picks a camouflage set. I guess they'll go with his room.

"Tessa, you need to put those back," I say.

"No." She has a death grip on the package. "Want these." After looking at them again, I guess they would go with the pale lavender quilt.

"Okay. You can have those instead of these," I say. Her eyes light up and she bounces up and down. So much energy. _I wish she'd let me borrow some._ "Let's go."

"Mommy, are we going to Grandma and Grandpa's?" Tyler asks after we pay for our purchases.

"No, we're not," I say and his face falls. "Grandpa has to work today, buddy, but Grandma is meeting us at the park for a picnic."

"Really?" he squeals with delight.

"Yep."

"Can we go now?" he asks.

"We need to take our bags home, and I have to pack a lunch then we'll go," I say.

"I can't wait," he says and his sisters agree. After that awkward phone call this morning, I wish I could say I'm excited to see my mom but I just can't. My face flames bright thinking about what I interrupted. I sigh and try to shake it off.

"Do you all have a good grip on your bags?" I ask as we start our way up the path. My hands are by far the fullest but the kids each insisted on carrying their own set of sheets in separate bags of course. "Try not to drag it behind you, Teags. Can you pick it up?" She hefts it up then pouts a little.

"It hebby," she says with a huge frown. "You cawwy." _I should have known._ I take her bag, and her brilliant smile returns.

"Well hello, guys," Avery says as she rounds a corner onto the path. She has a basket of laundry balanced on her hip.

"Hi, Avey," the girls say.

"Hi, girls."

"We going to the park to see Grandma," Tyler says. "You wanna come, Avey?"

"I'm not doing anything today, and Callen is at work," she tentatively says. "If it's okay with you, Tris."

"You are more than welcome to join us," I say. "Meet us at my place in about half an hour. I still have to pack our lunch."

"Can I bring anything?" she asks.

"Just yourself," I say.

"Okay," she says. "I'll see you soon." We part ways at the turn toward her apartment then continue up to ours. Once we get home, the kids seem tired. All the walking must have worn them out.

"I need you guys to rest while I make lunch but please don't fall asleep," I say.

"Okay, Mommy," Tyler says. The girls yawn widely. Uh-oh. This might not be good. I pull my phone out and dial Tobias.

"Hey, beautiful," he says, answering on the first ring.

"Hi yourself, handsome," I say, the stress I was just feeling melting away. "Can you do me a favor? Can you bring the car to the Pire for me or have Purple-Hair or Snake-Tattoo do it? The kids look like they're on their last leg. I don't think we'll make it to the garage."

"I'm in a meeting with Zander but I'll be happy to have Simon or Tony move the car for you," he says.

"I'm sorry," I say, guiltily. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's fine," he says. "We needed a break anyway."

"Have you learned anything new?"

"Nothing of importance," he says. "I'll fill you in later."

"Okay. I'll let you get back to Zander," I say. "Sorry again."

"I said no apologies are necessary," he says. "Love you."

"I love you, too, Tobias," I say. "See you later."

"Bye," he says.

After hanging up, I quickly pack the picnic basket with an easy lunch of sandwiches, chips, cut raw vegetables with various dipping sauce, and plenty of cold water and head into the living room where I find two little girls who are fast asleep and a little boy who looks well on his way. I kneel down beside him and run my hand through his hair.

"Please don't go to sleep," I say. "I won't have any way to get you to the car if you do."

"I not sleepy," he says, his lids drooping. Just then the doorbell rings.

"That's probably Avery," I say, Tyler perking right up.

"Can I get it?" he asks, already heading toward the door.

"Sure," I say, following behind him just in case it's not who we think.

"Avey!" Tyler squeals when he opens the door. He definitely looks wide awake now but more than likely will conk out the minute I get him in the car. She leans down and heft him into her arms.

"Hey, buddy," she says. "I am so glad I get to spend the afternoon with you."

"Me, too," he says, his arms around her neck, hugging her tightly.

"Come in, Avery," I say, stepping to the side to let her in. "We'll leave in just a few minutes. Four is having a car moved out front for us. Tessa and Teags fell asleep, which doesn't surprise me. It's a long, tiring walk to the Pit for me. I can only imagine what it's like for them."

"Okay," she says, lowering her voice, knowing what hellions my girls are when they're woken early from a nap. We go into the kitchen and gather the remaining items we need for the picnic, and I jump when there's a knock on the door.

"Who here, Mommy?" Tyler asks, looking worried.

"I don't know," I say as I head toward the door. I'm surprised to find Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo on the other side.

"Hi, Tris," Purple-Hair says. "Four sent us to help you get the kids in the car." It's funny to see such a big, strapping man look so nervous.

"That was so sweet of him," Avery gushes. That's my husband. Tough as nails on the outside but just a big ball of goo on the inside.

"Do you want to grab the girls?" I ask. The look on their faces tells me they would rather eat glass than have to touch my daughters. "Fine. Grab the picnic basket and items off the island. Avery and I will get the girls. Tyler, buddy, you're going to have to walk." Within five minutes the car is packed, the kids are buckled in their car seats, and I'm pulling away from the curb.

"I hope you don't mind that I invited myself along today," Avery says.

"You didn't," I say with a chuckle. "Tyler invited you."

"Yeah, I guess he did." She laughs jovially.

"I know I see you nearly every day but I feel like I haven't really gotten the chance to talk to you in ages," I say. "How are things going?"

"Things are pretty great between me and Callen," she says with a sappy grin on her face. "I love him so much." She nervously hesitates and looks over her shoulder into the backseat, which makes me glance in my rearview mirror. Sure enough, all three kids are out like a light so we can speak freely. "I _am_ having a difficult time getting him to be more adventurous, if you know what I mean."

"Taking it out of the bedroom?" I ask.

"Yeah," she murmurs.

"Has he given you a reason?"

"He refuses to talk about it, Tris. I've tried, multiple times," she says. "He shuts down on me each time I bring the subject up, and he kind of disappears into his head for a couple days. During that time, he will hardly look at me let alone kiss me or touch me." Pain transforms her face into a sad frown. "It's our only problem. My dad is even starting to come around to the fact that I'm 'living with that boy' as he puts it."

"That's great," I enthusiastically say.

"Yeah," she murmurs. "I was beginning to think he expected me to stay a virgin for the rest of my life."

"You won't like this but I can kind of see his point of view." She opens her mouth to argue but I interrupt. "I'm a mother now, Av. I _hate_ the thought of my kids growing up, and I especially can't think of them having sex … _ever_." A shudder moves through my body. "Believe me, I'll have my work cut out for me when the girls really start to notice boys. It'll be a full-time job keeping Four from throwing them into the chasm." We both giggle at the thought. "Hell, he already gives poor little Liam the evil eye every time he's around Teags, and he's only _two!_ "

"I can understand that – well not Four terrorizing a 2-year-old – but everything else. I certainly don't want to think about my parents being intimate."

"You know I think I interrupted my parents when I called them this morning," I say, still feeling mortified. "I wanted to die it was so embarrassing. My mom called my dad a dirty boy when she was hanging up." I feel my face heating with each word. I'm sure I'm the color of a ripe tomato. "By the way, she's going to be at the park."

"Ugh! Now I have a mental image that I can't get rid of," she sighs. "Thanks for that."

"I thought if I had to suffer so should you," I say with a chuckle. "But seriously, I have an idea for you and Callen. It might help open the lines of communication and you'll both have lots of fun while you're doing it." I take a deep breath and blow it out. Thankfully, I know my secrets are safe with Avery. "Four and I play a little game every once in a while that has really helped us to get to know each other on a deeper level, emotionally and sexually." I stare at the road as Avery stares out her window but I can tell her ears are wide open. "I came up with it on our honeymoon. We call it naughty Candor or Dauntless. It basically works the same way regular Candor or Dauntless works except for one thing, there's no out. You _have_ to do the truth or dare."

"Okay," she quietly says, nervously drawing the word out. "So how does it work?"

"Get a large bowl and a couple pieces of paper, set a time limit of 10-15 minutes, and write out questions you want answers to such as would you like to tie me up during sex or something physical you want to do such as make out with me for two minutes, no tongue, in the living room."

"That seems easy enough," she says.

"It really is and, like I said, it helped Four and me get to know each other better. This was a way to ask for things without coming straight out and saying it, which was very difficult for us in the beginning. Being raised in Abnegation didn't help our sex life at all. I think this game took the pressure off."

"Was there anything you didn't want to do?" she asks.

"There was one thing that was really difficult for me to do but he helped me through it. He also gave me an out, told me that if I didn't want to do it we could just make love instead. I wanted to please him – it was his dare after all – so I pushed through my fear and did it."

"I can't believe that anything would scare you after hearing you had sex on the Ferris wheel," she says with a nervous chuckle.

"I wasn't exactly _scared_ ," I say, "I'd just never done it before and I was really nervous. But let me tell you after he watched me … touch myself," the words are barely above a whisper, "we had some of the best sex off our lives."

"Hhm. I wonder if I could get Callen to play."

"Put something sexy on and wait for him in your bedroom since that seems to be the place he's most comfortable with," I say. "Tell him you have a way for the two of you to get to know each other even better. Then take it slow. We asked more questions the first time then actual dares. Also, instead of going for the kill of let's say having sex in public," her face goes bright red and her breathing becomes shallow, "maybe start with an orgasm in the living room or kitchen. Adding food is always fun."

"Your face is as red as mine feels," she says.

"Sex will never be an easy topic for me," I say.

"Why do you think it's so hard?" she says but part of me thinks she's talking to herself more than to me.

"I can't answer for you why it's difficult but for me I'm convinced it's the Abnegation that's still ingrained in me. It will never go away even though I'm definitely more Dauntless now."

"I can't even fathom a guess," she says. "Both my parents have always been very open and honest about sex. Dad's education was more clinical since he's a doctor and Mom's advice leaned towards the emotional side of things. I think it was more embarrassing than anything."

"I would probably drop dead if my dad talked to me about sex," I say with a shudder. "It was hard enough talking with Mom – although, I should say listening to her because the conversation was entirely one-sided."

"Hey, is that my mom and dad's car?" she asks as we approach our favorite play area in the city park.

"It sure is," I say as I park in the usual lot. I see most of her younger brothers and sisters playing on the play equipment. "This will make Tyler happy. He's been wanting to see Zane."

"Can we not bring up our conversation in front of my Mom?" Her eyes are pleading with me.

"You forget that my mom is on her way here as we speak." That information makes her smile. Neither one of us would intentionally embarrass the other. Now if Christina were here we might have to worry.

"Hi, Tris," Stella says as she approaches the car. "Avery? What a surprise!"

"Hi, Mom," Avery says as she rounds the front of the car and hugs her mother.

"Fancy running into you here," I say. "The kids will be ecstatic to see each other."

"Zane was just asking this morning when he could have Tyler over," she chuckles.

"Mommy?" Tyler sleepily says from the backseat. "Can I get out? I wanna play with Zane." _How?_ I swear he was asleep seconds ago. He must have a sixth sense about when his best friend is around.

"Sure, buddy," I say. "Let me help you. Your sisters are still asleep, and we don't want to wake them."

"Okay," he whispers. I carefully lean over Tessa and unbuckle the restraints holding him securely in the seat then help him maneuver around his slumbering sister's feet and out the door. "Can I go now?"

I make sure no moving cars are around and say, "You sure can."

"Thanks, Mommy," he calls out over his shoulder as he takes off running.

"Do you need help, Tris?" Stella asks. "You look like you have your hands full."

"Please," I say. "I appreciate it." Avery and I get Tessa and Teags out of the car while Stella gets the picnic basket and blanket out of the trunk. Once we're under the veil of oaks, she spreads the red and white checked blanket down near a massive trunk, and we lay the girls down and sit beside them. I rub Teags' back while she whines and she quickly goes back to sleep.

"Hello, Beatrice," I hear my mom say from behind us. "I'm sorry I'm late." I flush thinking about why she's probably late.

"Hello, Mrs. Prior," Avery says, a blush stealing across her face as well. "It's nice to see you again."

"Oh please, Avery, call me Natalie," she says. "Hello, Stella."

"Good to see you, Natalie," she says. I get to my feet and wrap my arms around my mother. No matter how embarrassed I may be, it's good to see her.

"I didn't know we were having company this afternoon," Mom says as we sit down on the blanket.

"Well, Tyler invited Avery to come along. We don't see enough of each other," I say. "And Stella and the kids just happened to be here when we got here."

"Tyler looks happy," she says. "All the kids do. I'm a bit surprised to see my granddaughters sleeping though."

"I wore them out this morning," I say. "We had breakfast with our friends in the cafeteria then bought furniture for their room." I tell them all about my vision for the girls' room while we watch the kids play.

"So, you're finally moving them out of the nursery, huh?" Stella asks.

"Yeah," I say. "Tessa crawled out of her crib this morning. It's a good thing her sister was asleep or I'm sure she would have tried to climb out of hers, too."

"It's definitely time for toddler beds then," Mom says.

" _Mama!_ " Tessa calls out as she rubs her eyes.

"It's okay, little one. Mommy's right here." She rolls over and looks at me and gives me a breathtakingly beautiful smile.

"Hi," she says as she sits up.

"Hi, yourself. Did you have a nice nap?" She nods as she looks around, and when she sees my mom, she launches herself into her open arms.

"Gwamma!" I'm about to tell her to quit down but Teags' eyes pop open at her sister's squeal, and she promptly starts crying.

"Come here," I say as I lift her into my arms. She lays her head on my shoulder and whimpers. "You're okay. Mommy's got you, my sweet girl." She finally lifts her head, tear tracks trailing down her cheeks and I kiss them away.

"Lub 'ou, Mama," she says.

"I love you, too," I say. "Look who's here. Grandma, Stella, and Avery." She turns around and beams.

"Hi, Gamma," she softly says. She's always clingy and shy when she's woken early from a nap. At least she's not crying anymore.

"Hello, my precious," Mom says.

"Mama, I pay?" Tessa asks.

"Sure, you can go play but please be careful," I say.

"Me, too?" Teags asks.

"Yes, you, too." Tessa climbs out of Mom's lap and I set Teags on her feet then they both sprint off to the slides. Thankfully there are two small slides so they don't have to fight over them. I would hate for one of them to attempt a taller one.

"How have you been, Beatrice?" Mom asks. "Have you been busy with initiation?" While I catch my mom up on everything that's been going on with Tobias and me except the pregnancy – we want to tell her and Dad together – Avery and Stella talk quietly. After about an hour of the kids playing hard, I call out telling them that lunch is ready, and they all come running without one complaint.

"What's for lunch?" Zane asks. "I'm hungry."

"Me, too," Tyler says and his sisters nod in agreement.

"Sandwiches, chips, and veggies," I say.

"Did you bring any dessert, Mrs. Four?" Zane asks.

"I might have," I say. "But all of you need to eat before there can be any dessert."

"Okay," they all say at once, even the older kids. Apparently, they all like my chocolate chip cookies.

"What are you doing tonight, Tris?" Stella asks me after we get done eating. The kids each ate a cookie and are now back on the play equipment.

"Four and I don't have any plans," I say.

"Zane has been bugging me for weeks for Tyler to spend the night. Can he come over?"

"Definitely," I say. "He'll love that."

"How about sending the girls home with me?" Mom asks. "It's been a while since they spent the night just the two of them. Caleb and Cara are coming over for supper tomorrow night. Why don't you join us?" Hhm? A whole night and day just me and Tobias alone.

"If you're sure you don't mind," I say. "I guess I'm lucky I packed Teagan's bear in the diaper bag."

"I have an identical one at home now," she says. "I bought it at the redistribution center. The clerk looked at me funny when I set it on the counter." She chuckles at the memory. "I guess she's not used to Abnegation members buying cute little pink teddy bears. I told her it was for my granddaughter who just couldn't sleep without it. She seemed to understand."

"That's really thoughtful of you," Stella says.

"I love my grandkids," she says. "That's for sure."

"I can tell," Stella warmly says.

"I didn't think I would get to be involved in Beatrice and Caleb's lives once they left Abnegation. I'm so thankful that the city is loosening up its restrictive ways. Faction before blood has its usefulness but what's the harm of keeping in touch with family? I miss my mother to this very day. It makes my heart hurt that I never saw her again after I left Dauntless. I, of course, had to do what was right for me and I don't regret my choice … I have a great life … but it could have been so much better if my children had gotten to know their grandparents."

"Oh, Mom," I say as tears gather behind my eyelids. I wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly. "I'm so thankful that my kids have you. And they love you and dad so much. They are so lucky."

"I'm the lucky one," she says, returning my hug then patting my back and releasing me.

"I'm going to go tell them all the news," I say as I get up, "but first I need to use the bathroom." Hopefully nothing happens like the last time.

"You want some company?" Avery asks. She must sense my nerves.

"How did you know?"

"I know you, Tris," she says.

"Let's grab the girls and see if they have to go."

"Do you have to go potty, Tessa, Teags?" I ask as I approach them. Teags shakes her head but Tessa thinks about it then starts dancing around like she forgot she had to go. "Come on, little one." I scoop her up and ask Avery to bring Teagan.

"No gots to potty," she pouts.

"Did you go in your pants?" I ask. She's wearing a diaper but she's been doing very well with the potty training. She shrugs. "Try to go for Mommy, okay?"

"'Kay," she mutters. Even though she said she didn't need to go, Teagan's diaper is dry and she uses the toilet after Tessa does.

"I tell you what, Miss Teagan," I say as I squat down in front of her, "I'm very proud of you. One night this week you and I will go to supper just the two of us and then to the boutique and pick out big girl panties. How does that sound?"

"Fo me?" she asks.

"Yes, panties for you. No more diapers." She throws herself into my arms and kisses me sloppily. "I take it you like the idea."

"Yeah," she squeals excitedly then she rests her forehead against mine. "Lub 'ou, Mama."

"I love you, too, Peanut," I softly say and she grins. "You're becoming such a big girl."

"I big giwl," she repeats.

"Yeah you are," I say. I set her on her feet and take her hand then lead her out of the bathroom as Avery helps Tessa. When I step out into what should be the fresh air, a familiar scent I can't quite place swirls around my head, nauseating me. _Ugh!_ "Do you smell that?" She sniffs the air, causing Tessa and Teags to do the same.

"No," she says. "I don't smell anything."

"Gotta love my acute sense of smell," I mutter, breathing evenly through my mouth trying to avoid losing my lunch. The medicine Zander gave me has been helping with the nausea up until right now. "I'll be right back." I drop Teags' hand and turn around and go into the bathroom. I enter the first stall and promptly get sick. After I'm sure I'm once again all right, I rinse my mouth out then step outside. Strangely enough, the odd smell has luckily dissipated.

"You, otay?" Tessa asks, grabbing on to one leg. Teagan promptly grabs the other one.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say, lovingly running my hands over their heads. "I smelled something funny."

"Babies make you sick?" Tessa asks.

"Bad bebes," Teags pouts.

"Remember our secret?" I ask. They both nod. "No more talk of babies. We'll tell Grandma and Grandpa tomorrow night at supper. How would you like to stay at their house tonight?" They let go of me and start dancing around. "You girls are so silly." God, I love my monsters.

"What about Ty-Ty?" Tessa asks, halting their celebration.

"He's going to stay with Zane tonight."

"All right!" Tyler says, overhearing me. "I didn't know that."

"Me neither," Zane says.

"Your mom asked if it was okay," I say. "I think it was supposed to be a surprise."

"Well, it's an awesome surprise," Zane says. "Are Tess and Teags coming, too?"

"I go Gamma's," Teags says.

"Me, too," Tessa says. Tyler _loves_ this news but if I'm not mistaken, Zane seems a bit disappointed. _I wonder what that's about._ I check my watch and see that it's nearly 4 o'clock. No wonder I'm tired. I've been going nonstop since early this morning.

"I'm going to go home," I say. "I'm pretty tired."

"I'm going to stay with my mom," Avery says.

"What about you, Mom?" I ask. "Do you want me to take you home?"

"There's no need for you to go out of your way," she says. "The girls and I will grab a bus. They loved it the last time they rode with me."

"Okay," I say. "Come here, guys." Tessa and Teagan sit in my lap and I hug them tightly and kiss their heads. "Daddy, Tyler, and I will be over tomorrow night to get you. You know the rules."

"Yes, Mama," they both say.

"Be good for Grandma and Grandpa," I say. "I love you."

"Love you," Tessa says.

"Lub 'ou," Teags says. After more hugs and kisses they get up and Tyler sits down.

"You be good for Stella and Zander," I say as I wrap my arms around him.

"I will," he says. "I'm a good kid." I can't help but smile.

"I know you are. You're one of the best," I say. "Have fun with Zane." He gives me a big hug and kiss then goes back to playing with his best friend. "What time do you want us tomorrow night, Mom?"

"I told Caleb and Cara 5:30," she says.

"Can we pick Tyler up at 5:00?" I ask Stella.

"That would be great," she says.

"We will see you guys around 5:30 then, Mom," I say. "Four and I both will have our phones on if you need anything. The diaper bag has PJs and clothes for tomorrow. Thanks for taking them. I love you, Mom."

"It's my pleasure, Beatrice," she says, hugging me tightly. "I love you, too."

"Thanks for inviting me along," Avery says and then she lowers her voice. "And for the advice. I'm definitely going to take it. Thanks for being such a good friend."

"I hope my advice helps," I say giving her a hug.

"Zan and I plan on taking the kids to the pool before lunch tomorrow, Tris, just to let you know," Stella says as I step away from Avery.

"Well, Four and I will just be a phone call away if you need us for anything," I say. "We won't leave the compound but we might go out. Like I said, we don't have set plans." Not yet anyway. "Thanks for keeping Tyler. He's really excited. I hope he's no trouble."

"Tyler Eaton is never any trouble," she says. "Have fun with your husband tonight and try not to worry about the kids."

"I'll try, on both accounts," I say with a chuckle, blushing. After Stella offers to bring the blanket and picnic basket back with them, I go to my car and roll down the windows. Even though it's not too terribly hot outside, the interior of the car is sweltering. I start it and open the air conditioning vents so they're blowing on me. It's probably not the best idea for me to be in this car for too long at this temperature. Once the air is breathable, I back out of my parking spot. As I pull away, my arm out the window waving at everyone, I swear I smell that familiar nauseating scent again.


	39. Chapter 39

I light the last candle on the dining room table knowing Tobias will be home any moment now then tuck the matches back in the junk drawer. It didn't take me long to formulate a plan for the evening as I was driving away from the park. I stopped by the Italian restaurant that we both love so much and got takeout including a trio of delectable desserts then I visited the ice cream parlor next door and restocked our freezer with a few pints we can indulge in later; although, the only thing I really want to indulge in tonight is my husband.

I look around the kitchen, making sure everything is ready. The chicken parmesan, baked ziti, crostini, and garlic bread are in the oven on warm while the Caesar salad, bruschetta tomatoes, prosciutto and melon, and sparkling cider are all in the fridge chilling. The table is dressed in a long soft white lace runner, a bouquet of wildflowers I stopped along the road and picked in a large crystal vase, two lit red tapers with wax dripping in a pool on the delicate cloth, and two place setting of our wedding china and crystal champagne flutes.

Suddenly, I hear a key in the front door and excitement causes my heart to pound. Tonight is going to be so good. I nervously run my hands down my gathered skirt as I step into the living room to wait on the love of my life. I took extra care this afternoon getting ready for our impromptu date. I washed and deep conditioned my hair then styled it with wide curls that fall softly over my shoulders and down my back. I applied just a touch of makeup, nothing too heavy, and put a coat of deep pink polish on my fingers and toes. Luckily, I had a salon and spa appointment earlier in the week so my body is perfectly free of stubble. The hardest decision I had was what to wear to greet him. I thought about answering the door wearing nothing but a pair of skyscraper stilettos or one of his shirts but I decided on a new dress that he hasn't seen before. It's a sexy fitted satin mini dress with a sweetheart one-shoulder neckline that shows off my soft curves. The boutique had it in a few different colors so instead of the same old boring black or gray, I chose a pink a couple shades lighter than what I just painted my nails. I also bought the most gorgeous pair of shoes I've ever owned, and I think they're also the tallest. They're the same color as my dress with an open lace floral design adorned with jumbo rhinestones. I know he's going to love them as much as I do.

I watch as Tobias sits on the bench in the entryway, slowly taking off his boots. There must be something weighing on his mind. He hasn't even looked up yet. I hope it's nothing too serious. I take a few steps closer to him, and I don't know if he sees me out of the corner of his eyes, senses my presence, or hears my heels on the hardwood floors but just as I'm about to say something he looks up, his eyes boring into mine.

"Welcome home, baby," I say. His intense gaze lingers on my eyes for a second before slowly traveling down my body. When he gets to my shoes, he breaks out into a sexy smirk and his tongue darts out to wet his lips.

"This is a surprise," he says as he gets up and saunters my way. He takes me in his arms and lowers his lips to mine. The kiss is searing, burning straight to my soul. I clutch him tighter as our mouths move together aggressively, our tongues lashing out at each other's. Our pants synchronize when he pulls away. "Love those shoes," he mutters. He seems to remember something and looks around, befuddled. "Where are the kids?"

"Zane wanted Tyler to spend the night so he's at Zander and Stella's," I say, still somewhat breathless. "And the girls are spending the night at my mom and dad's. She invited us to supper tomorrow night. We'll pick them up then. Caleb and Cara will be there also."

"Are you telling me we have nearly 24 hours alone … just you and me … no interruptions?" he asks, his eyes darkening with lust.

"If we're lucky, that's exactly what I mean," I demurely say as I run a finger down his chest. "I got some takeout for us."

"Italian, right?" he says, not taking his eyes off mine. "Smells good."

"Why don't you go upstairs and take a shower while I get supper on the table," I say. "We can have a nice, leisurely meal."

"I'd rather you join me but I see you went to a lot of trouble getting dressed up for me tonight, and I don't want to ruin how you look right now," he says as he drags the backs of his fingertips across my jawline causing me to shiver. "You're absolutely gorgeous in this sexy little number and _fuck,"_ he literally growls the word causing me to blush, "those shoes." He presses his lips against my ear. "I'm going to make you scream tonight and all you'll be wearing is those shoes. You can count on that."

"We'll see," I tease, a little winded, knowing full well that these shoes will be on my feet for the remainder of the evening and well into tomorrow morning if I have my way. "Go."

"All right," he says. He nips at the sensitive skin beneath my ear then leaves me standing here dazed. I'd love to follow him upstairs but he's right. I put a lot of time and effort into getting everything exactly the way I planned.

Once I gather my senses, I pull our entrées and bread out of the oven and plate them. I spoon the bruschetta mixture on the toasted crostini then drizzle it lightly with more olive oil and sprinkle it with just a touch of parmesan and arrange them on a decorative serving platter along with the prosciutto and melon. Next, I lightly dress the salad, toss it well, and garnish it with croutons and extra parmesan just the way we like it.

Just as I pop the cork on the sparkling cider, I see him coming down the stairs. It's a good thing I hadn't started filling our champagne flutes because I would have made a huge mess. I can't take my eyes off of him. Instead of his usual jeans, t-shirt, and combat boots he's wearing a fitted light gray dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He left a couple buttons open, giving me just a peek at his chiseled chest. The shirt is tucked into pair of dark trousers that look like they were tailored just for him. _Is it possible to be jealous of the way they're hugging his body?_ And on his feet are a pair of shiny black dress shoes. I try to swallow past the dryness that's suddenly plaguing my throat but I can't.

"This looks wonderful," he says as he steps up in front of me. He gently pries the bottle of cider out of my frozen hands and fills the flutes. _Damn!_ This man has left me speechless as well as slightly stupefied. I totally forgot what I was doing.

" _You_ look wonderful," I breathlessly mutter, my eyes traveling up and down his Adonis-like body. My gaze flits to his when I hear him softly chuckling. He leans in and gives me a tender, loving kiss.

"We better eat before it gets cold." I know he's right. The food will be much better now than if we let it go for a few hours but my body isn't happy with that decision. It's humming with desire, and all I really want to do is tear his clothes off and take him here at the base of the stairs. Knowing what I'm thinking Tobias says, "Patience, love. We have all night."

"You're right," I say, although I can't help my frustrated sigh. He holds out my chair, and I sit down. "Thank you, baby."

"I should be thanking you," he says as he takes his own seat. "Everything looks fantastic and smells even better. I don't know where to start."

"Let's start with the appetizers."

"Okay." He nods and picks up one of the pieces of bruschetta and holds it up for me to take a bite. We continue on throughout the entire meal this way, feeding each other small bites of the delectable fare, making insignificant small talk, laughing, and pressing affectionate kisses to each other's lips.

"When you came in this evening you seemed really distracted," I say near the end of our meal. "Was something wrong?"

"It was just a long day," he says. "I'd rather not talk about work tonight though if that's okay with you."

"I understand," I say. "You just had me worried."

"No need to worry, love," he says. "Everything's fine."

"Okay," I say. Part of me thinks there's something that he's not telling me but I shake off the unsettling feeling. He'd tell me if something truly important was wrong.

"How are you feeling today, love?" he asks as he clears the table. I argued with him but he insisted on cleaning everything up himself.

"You know, right now I feel great," I say. "Earlier when we were at the park, not so much. I got sick."

"I'm sorry. I was hoping the medicine Isobel gave you was working."

"I think it is," I say. "I was outside the bathroom when an odd smell hit me the wrong way and turned my stomach. Hopefully, it's not a sign of what's to come."

"How was the park?" he asks. "I bet the kids had a great time." I tell Tobias all about our day from running into Avery on the path to all the kids' antics on the playground as he fills the dishwasher, packages the leftovers, and wipes down the counters and table.

"I swear they would live at the park if given the chance, especially Tyler," he says as he sits back down beside me, and I agree immediately.

"I have a little something planned for later, baby, but I thought we'd start with dessert first."

"Dessert? Sounds good. I think I still have a little room for something sweet," he says, patting his stomach. I can't help but smirk.

"Good," I say. I stand and instead of heading into the kitchen, I slide up on the table in front of him. He looks perplexed yet intrigued until I lean back on my elbows and spread my legs before him.

"Oh, holy hell, Tris," he mutters under his breath. "You're not wearing any panties."

"I thought they would just get in the way of your dessert," I innocently say then intentionally bite down on my bottom lip. I swear I hear a rumble deep in his chest. He moves to the edge of his seat and leans forward, his eyes never leaving mine, then lightly runs his calloused fingertips up and down my legs, spreading them even wider.

"You. Are. So. Damn. Beautiful," he says, placing kisses from my knee to my inner thigh. "This has to be the best dessert you've ever served." I watch him carefully as he gets closer to my aching sex but just as soon as I feel the heat of his breath, he moves his lips to my other knee, a teasing glint in his eyes. _Oh, you're so gonna pay for that later, mister. You just don't know it yet._

"You shouldn't tease me, Tobias," I moan as he presses soft kisses up my other leg.

"Why not?" he mumbles against the sensitive skin.

"You don't know what I have planned for tonight."

"I guess I'll take pity on you then," he says then slowly and methodically runs his tongue along my moist entrance then over my needy little nub.

" _Oh_ , _Tobias_ ," I moan. I let my head fall back as he works his talented tongue back down to my opening and inside me. He is so good at this. I know it won't be long before I'm writhing against his mouth, begging to come.

Tobias wraps his arms around my thighs and pulls me snug to his lips. He draws my aching bundle of nerves into his mouth and lightly sucks on it. I call out as I collapse onto the table and arch towards his gifted tongue. He captures my nubbin between his teeth, nibbling lightly. I pant noisily as he swirls the very tip of his tongue around until he finds that one magical spot that threatens to blow the top right off my head.

" _Oh, shit!_ Right there, baby. _Oh, God!_ That feels _amazing_ , Tobias." He concentrates on that spot while I concentrate on getting enough air into my lungs. After just a minute or two – or maybe it's 20, I don't know – the storm that's been brewing inside me quickly becomes a Category 5 hurricane. My body arches off the table as my legs clamp down on his head but this doesn't deter him. As a matter of fact, he thrusts two fingers inside me and roughly rubs the thick bundle of nerves, prolonging my release. "No. No. No more, baby. Please." I barely manage to get the words out as yet another wave of pure bliss crashes over me. He moves his mouth from my nubbin and I just lie back on the table, my chest heaving forcefully and my body quaking with aftershocks.

"That was a very tasty dessert," he cockily says, licking my arousal off his lips. "You're always so sweet." I'm still trying to catch my breath when he stands over me. "You all right, love?" I manage to sit up and draw his mouth to mine. I thrust my tongue deep into his mouth, tasting him, tasting me, causing my need to increase exponentially. This wasn't part of my plan but I want him now …. Not later. I unbutton his pants and quickly lower the zipper. I push his trousers and boxer briefs down just enough to free his hard length.

"I want…" is all I manage to say before he enters me in one steady drive. I bite down on his shoulder through the luxurious material of his dress shirt while I get used to the stretching fullness. I glide my hands up his back then wrap my arms around his neck.

"Look at me, love," Tobias demands. I lift my head and meet his eyes. He gently caresses my cheek and leans in for a tender kiss. "I love you."

"I love you," I repeat back to him. Somehow knowing I'm ready, he pulls his hips back then slowly thrusts back inside. I hook my heels behind his back, allowing him deeper access to my core and move against him. Our leisurely pace soon becomes hectic and frenzied. Our parted lips gasp ragged breaths as we hurtle toward some imaginary finish line.

"Shit, love," Tobias roughly groans as I loudly moan his name. It's nice to be unrestrained once in a while.

"I'm so close," I murmur.

"I'm gonna come, Tris," he says.

"Not yet, baby. Not yet," I murmur as I search for my release. "I'm _so_ close." He holds tightly to me as our hips collide almost painfully, his face strained. He works his hand between us and roughly thumbs my nubbin, which pushes me over the edge, and he follows right behind. We continue to writhe against each other, riding our orgasms to completion. Finally, we droop against each other, breathing heavily.

"That was incredible," he pants right up against my ear, then nibbles on the lobe a bit.

"Yeah, it was," I breathlessly say.

"I saw some tiramisu and cannoli when I was putting supper away," he says.

"There's also a slice of their lemon custard cake and four pints of ice cream," I say. "Hhm. I guess I was hungry when I picked up supper. I usually don't get that much dessert." He laughs heartily as he pulls out of me and tucks himself away. "Hey, I'm pregnant with your twins. Don't laugh at me."

"Don't pout, beautiful," he says, kissing my protruding lower lip. "I was laughing at your expression, not you. It was funny. Why don't you clean yourself up a bit, and I'll get you some dessert?"

"Okay," I say as I slip off the table. He gives me a quick peck before I head upstairs. After cleaning up in the bathroom and relieving my uncomfortably full bladder, I strip the quilt and top sheet off the bed. I didn't do it earlier because I didn't want to give the plan away. I neatly fold them and put them in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. We'll definitely need these later so there's no need to put them away. Before going back downstairs, I light the candles I already had scattered throughout the room. If Tobias noticed them, he didn't say anything. The last thing I do is go to his nightstand and get the four silk sashes. As I'm shutting the drawer something catches my eye, and I open it back up. I put the restraints back down and pick up the gift box, which is a little larger than a ring box.

"Go ahead and open it, Miss Snoopy." I whirl around at the sound of his voice. He's standing just inside the door with a plateful of desserts.

"That's Mrs. Snoopy to you," I say. I feel heat climbing into my cheeks, embarrassed from being caught. He comes up beside me and sets the plate on his end table then I lift the lid, and tears immediately flood my eyes. Nestled in the middle of the black satin are two very simple platinum additions for my charm bracelet, a button and a bean. I set the box down and wrap my arms around my thoughtful husband. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he says as he kisses my temple. "I was getting worried about you. I should have known better. You always know how to set the right atmosphere for us."

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Speaking of surprises, what were you doing in my nightstand, not that I mind?" he asks. "I thought the charms were safe in there. I guess I'll have to find a better hiding place from now on." I let go of him and pull the silk sashes out of his drawer, letting them dangle precariously off the tip of one finger.

"You want me to tie you up again?" he asks. I slowly shake my head. I can tell by his sharp intake of breath that this surprises him. "You want to tie _me_ to the bed?" His timber is low … throaty … sultry. If I'm not mistaken, he likes my idea. But there's also an edge to his voice that I can't quite pinpoint. I hope I'm not wrong about this.

"Very much, baby. I did say that I had a little something planned for this evening," I say with an innocent shrug of the shoulders. "You've tortured me twice now. I think it's time for a little payback." He steps closer to me, his penetrating gaze on mine, and runs the sashes through his fingertips as he contemplates my request.

"Who am I to say no? You did the same thing for me," he says. "I wouldn't want you to blindfold me though, love." I understand why he wouldn't want that. Being restrained _and_ in total darkness might trigger his fear of confinement, even if I were going down on him.

"I had no intention of doing that. I want to look you in the eye when I finally let you come," I say and he visibly swallows.

"All right then," he huskily murmurs.

"Are you absolutely certain, Tobias?" I ask, second guessing my plan. "I would never want to push you into doing something you're not comfortable with."

"I'm completely sure, love," he says. "I'm all yours to do with as you please." I can't help the grin that spreads over my face. I've always wanted complete control in the bedroom but was too chicken to ask. I never thought he would be okay with it but now that I know he is, I'm not wasting any time. I slowly circle him like a voracious lion eyeing its prey. I sit down on the end of the bed and seductively cross my legs.

"I'm going to have so much fun with you. Now strip."

"As you wish." He sexily smirks as he moves his hands to the buttons of his fitted shirt then proceeds to slowly expose an inch of his well-defined chest to me at a time. Once it's hanging open, he shrugs it off his shoulders, and it sails to the floor, landing at his feet. As he toes off his shoes, he moves his hands to the waistband of his trousers. He lowers his pants, revealing the sexy little pair of black boxer briefs, which are tented by his desire. He's looking forward to our little game just as much as I am. I tightly press my thighs together, squirming a little in my seat, trying to control the rampant throb as he kicks his pants out of the way then leans down and removes his socks. My mouth goes dry with anticipation as he hooks his thumbs in the waistband of his boxer briefs. He pulls one side down a little then the other side, testing me.

"Right now might not be the best time to tease me, Tobias Eaton," I huskily say. "You do want to come again tonight, right?" He nods with understanding and pushes his boxer briefs down and then he's standing in front of me completely nude, fully erect, and ready to go. It's a powerful sight to see and it's not the first time I wonder how he fits inside me. Suddenly, I realize tonight doesn't have to be just about tying him up. This can be about anything I want it to be. My eyes slowly roam from his face, down his magnificent body to his toes then back up again. I clear my dry throat and say, "Touch yourself, baby. I want to see how you give yourself pleasure; I want to see you make yourself come." I keep my eyes on his and they darken considerably as he lets my request sink in. "Make yourself come for me, Tobias."

He very deliberately runs his tongue down his palm then wraps his right hand around the base of his shaft and slowly strokes his fist up and down from root to tip again and again. My heart thuds painfully in my chest, and I stop breathing as he gives himself pleasure. He is absolutely gorgeous, so manly and virile. I drag air into my throbbing lungs when I forget to breathe as I glance up into his eyes, which are solely focused on me, but I can't keep myself from focusing on his hands. His grip tightens and loosens around his shaft but the speed stays the same, slow and teasing. He's enjoying this. His other hand snakes down and lightly tugs on his testicles a few times then it moves away, caressing his inner thigh.

My mouth goes as dry as the Sahara Dessert as I watch the display before me. He's sexy as hell. Every muscle in his body is taut as he pleasures himself. His face is concentrating on the task at hand, his mouth hanging open, breath coming in short, shallow pants. His toes are flexing and relaxing like mine do when I'm building toward an orgasm. He strokes himself faster, his grip obviously tighter. The hand that's rubbing the inside of his thigh moves to cup his balls again. He plays with them a little, making himself moan deeply then moves it back to his thigh. He shifts his body, leaning forward to grab the bedpost with his free hand and grasps himself from a slightly different angle. His fist blurs and his panting intensifies. He's so close. Suddenly, his whole body tenses and he grunts long and low as he let's go all over his hand and stomach. He strokes and squeezes himself until every last drop has been wrung from him then he drops his hand to his side. He's completely sated at the moment and he's … beautiful. I lean over and pick up his boxer briefs then thoroughly clean him up while his chest still heaves. I feel his gaze burning into me, and when I raise my eyes to his, he drags me up his body. His lips crash into mine with a dizzying, deep-seated need. I melt into him for a moment, my body desperately wanting his, but I suddenly remember I'm taking the lead and gently push him away.

"No way, big boy. _I'm_ in charge here. And I think it's time for you to get on the bed. I'm going to tie you up now."

"You still have your dress on."

"I'm well aware of that, baby," I say as I drag my fingertips across his rock-hard abs, causing him to visibly shudder.

"Okay," he says. He sits down on the edge of the bed then maneuvers himself toward the middle of the mattress. He lies back and talks me through tying him up so the straps won't bite into his skin. When I'm done, I stand back and admire my handiwork. I glide my tongue over my parched lips and press my thighs together. I can't believe that he's hard again already. Well, maybe I'm not _that_ surprised. My man's a stallion.

"Are you okay?" I ask as he tests the restraints. When his nervous eyes meet mine, I once again second guess my plan. "I can untie you if this is too much, Tobias."

"No, I can do this," he says, his voice full of resolve and desire. I carefully study his face and definitely see anxiety but he appears to still be very much in control.

"You need to tell me if things get to be too much for you. Okay? I'll untie you, and we can just make love. This should be fun for you, too," I wrap my fist around his length and stroke him a few times causing him to groan, "and maybe just a bit frustrating like it was for me."

"I want to do this for you, Tris," he throatily says. _God, I love him._ "I can do this."

"Okay," I say after I see only conviction on his face. He means what he says. I stand back and make sure his eyes are on me. I slowly lower the zipper hidden under my arm then push my dress off one shoulder. It pools on the floor at my feet, leaving me in nothing but my sexy shoes.

" _Fuck!_ I should have known you were naked under that dress. _Please_ tell me you left the shoes on," he roughly says. "I love those sexy shoes." I smirk at him as I climb up onto the mattress, shoes still on my feet, then straddle his body. I reach over and grab an elastic band from my nightstand and hastily put my hair up in a messy bun. I need to be able to see him clearly. I put my hands on either side of his head and move my hips until my nubbin is pressed right up against his throbbing shaft.

"Are you ready to feel what true frustration feels like?" I ask, looking down into his face. I begin to rock my hips back and forth, creating a pleasurable friction and he groans deeply. I stare into Tobias' face as the sensation consumes us both. His eyes dilate until they're almost black as night. He pants heavily and yanks on his restraints, obviously wanting his hands on me. That must be how I looked that night not so long ago. I press a soft kiss to his lips, never taking my eyes off his and rub myself against his hard length a little faster. Although I didn't think it was possible, his eyes darken further betraying just how excited he is. I lean down and suck on his right earlobe, and he groans deeply.

"You like that, don't you, baby?" I whisper right up against his ear.

"Mm-hm," he mumbles. "God, I wish I was inside you right now."

"Patience, my love," I say, repeating his words from earlier. "We have all night." I tease his ear as I continue writhing against him then I kiss over to his other ear and tease a little.

"How many times do you think I can make you come like this before you're begging me to stop?" He yanks on his restraints. If he's not careful he's going to have bruises around his wrists and ankles. I take pity on him and lift myself off his hard length. I slowly start kissing my way down his neck onto his chest. I run my hands lightly over his torso and up his tethered arms. His muscles are so rigid right now. I run my tongue over my name then I drop kisses around his pecs. I flick one of his nipples with my tongue until it's diamond hard and gently pinch the other between my thumb and finger. I take the bud between my lips and suck on it gently then bite down.

"Fuck, love!" he mutters. I lave his tortured nipple then nibble again and he tosses his head back and groans loudly. I kiss my way to his other bud and give it the same treatment as my hands roam his body, barely touching him.

"Do you like me being able to do whatever I want with you?" I murmur as I drag my lips across his abs, dropping butterfly kisses as I go.

"Yeah." I kiss all around his leaking manhood that's lying proudly on his belly but I don't touch him. He groans noisily when my exhaled breath washes over him and he twitches toward me but I resist. "God, you're killing me, Tris," he moans and I giggle a somewhat evil laugh.

"Now you know how I felt when you had me on the edge for almost three hours, Tobias Eaton, _three hours_! Not to mention the water torture that took days to recover from. I think I need you to make me come right now. I want your mouth on me." I sit up and look down at him, trying to figure out how to do this when an idea strikes me. I get to my feet on the mattress then turn around so I'm facing his feet.

"Be careful," he gruffly says. "I don't want you to fall."

"I won't," I say. I lower myself and straddle his chest, my knees near his stretched arms with my legs lying on top of them. I scoot myself back until his tongue contacts my nubbin. I jerk away from the sensation then settle back. As he laps at my sensitive bundle of nerves, I lean forward and take him in my hand. I stroke him as he circles the sensitive bundle of nerves with his hot, wet tongue. I take him in my mouth but can only reach about the top quarter. If I were to go deeper, I would pull myself away from his mouth and I don't want that. I suck on his head then tease him with my tongue as he sucks, nibbles, and licks my womanhood. Damn, my body is rushing toward an orgasm like a runaway train. I release him and push myself back against his mouth as he continues his ministrations. "You're gonna make me come, baby." I moan as the pressure builds and builds. My hips writhe in time with his efforts then I come unraveled. The release is so intense that I have to drag myself away from his tongue, panting and gasping. I turn so that I'm facing him again and lower myself onto every hard inch of him. I hang my head back and close my eyes, reveling at the feel of him inside. I clench around him, he moans, and I release. I do this again and again until he's panting heavily. I open my eyes and look down at him. "You feel so good deep inside me."

"No place I'd rather be," he murmurs. "God, I wish I could touch you." He yanks on the sashes. _Me, too._ I lean forward until every inch of my upper body is lying on his. I suck on his earlobe and continue the clench and release of my sex on his. His heavy breathing fills my senses. I can't hold back much longer. I don't know how he teased me for hours that night. "You need to move." He's pleading with me.

"I'll move when I'm good and ready, baby," I whisper in his ear. I continue my calculated teasing until I can no longer stand it myself. I sit back and use my knees to push off of him then let gravity help ease me back down. I keep the pace slow but oh so satisfying. We moan together as I lean forward and increase the pace minutely. He starts bucking up on my downward strokes hitting me in that special place inside. I stare down into his eyes as we move each other toward shared bliss. I push back on him harder as he thrusts up faster. I scream his name as I detonate around him. He continues thrusting into me as I ride the wave of pure pleasure. When I regain my senses, I lean back further and pick up our pace, my only mission to get him to come. We move together until he's writhing beneath me. I was doing this for his benefit only but I realize I'm close to another release myself so I move my hand between my thighs and find my nubbin. I moan loudly as I roughly move my fingers over the throbbing nub. When Tobias groans like he's in pain I look down at him but his eyes are on my fingers. He loves it when I touch myself. The look on his face spurs me on. I ride him hard as I circle my nubbin with an aggressive touch. He calls out my name as he explodes deep inside of me. His release coupled with the ecstasy on his features triggers my orgasm. I ride out the wave then collapse on top of him totally spent. "Am I too heavy?"

"No but I'd like my hands back," he says, a little tense. Of course. I lift myself off him and lean over and untie his hands then his feet. Once he's free, he immediately wraps me in his embrace, pulling me close. "You didn't kiss me all over."

"I'll save that for another time," I say as I press my lips to his chiseled chest. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

"I did," he says. "Did you like watching me?" I know what he's talking about.

"Very much," I say.

"I love when you touch yourself," he says. "It's hotter than hell."

"I'll let you in on a little secret," I say. "I like it much better when you touch me. It feels so good."

"I know," he says. "Your hand is better than my own and your mouth is even better but there was something about doing it knowing you were watching that made it more intense. Next time we'll have to make ourselves come together."

"Next time? You're such a naughty boy, Mr. Eaton," I say as I playfully smack his chest. He moves us so we're looking in each other's eyes.

"You make me this way, Mrs. Eaton." I smile widely at him.

"I know we've been married two years but when you call me Mrs. Eaton, I feel giddy just like it's the first time," I say as I run my fingers down his five o'clock shadow. "I love being your wife, Tobias. You make me happy. I love you very much."

"I love you, too," he says, "more than I thought possible."

"I think you should show me," I say.

"Again?"

"And again and again."


	40. Chapter 40

"Love, we should really think about getting around. We still have to pick Tyler up from Zander and Stella's before we go to your parent's," Tobias softly murmurs, his mouth close to my ear. His smooth, sexy voice sends a jolt of desire straight to my core but I'm too tired to do anything about it right now. I'm sprawled across his naked chest, fading in and out of consciousness while he lightly draws concentric circles down the center of my bare back, which isn't helping me hold my eyes open. We just finished making love yet again.

"I know you're right," I mumble against his chest, "but I don't want to move just yet."

"That's fine. We still have time," he says. "Did I wear you out?" I can actually _hear_ the cocky grin spreading across his face. I'm too tired to roll my eyes even though I want to. He's always so damn proud of himself when he makes me come too many times to count. And that he did. I'm exhausted and the incessant ache between my thighs undoubtedly will last for days.

"Yeah," I finally admit. "But I'm not complaining. I just need a little nap to get my second wind." He continues the gentle caress, and the next thing I know he's very carefully moving me off his chest. I grunt, which only makes him chuckle.

"I'm going to take a shower," he says against my ear. "You keep sleeping."

"You said we have time," I mutter.

"That was over an hour ago, sleepyhead," he says as he presses his lips to my forehead. I pry one eyelid open and try to focus on the clock. He's right. We really need to be getting around if we want to make it to Abnegation on time.

"I'm getting up," I say, rolling over and stretching my tired, achy muscles with a wide yawn.

"Damn! I wish we had another hour," he mutters under his breath, "or two." His voice sounds strained. When I look up at him his eyes are glazed over with lust as he takes in my naked body.

"Unfortunately, we don't, baby," I say, getting to my feet. "Come on." I take him by the hand and lead him into the bathroom. We quickly work through our routine then go into our closet to get dressed. As he pulls on a typical black jeans and t-shirt combo, I contemplate what to wear.

"How about this?" Tobias asks, holding up a simple black and gray floral sundress. I bought it before I found out I was pregnant but the empire waistline will ensure I'll be able to wear it all season long.

"Yeah. That's perfect," I say as the doorbell rings.

"Expecting someone?" he asks.

"No, but it could be Stella bringing Tyler home if plans changed. I haven't looked at my phone all day."

"Neither have I. I was a little busy," he says.

"I think we were _a lot_ busy." He laughs lightly but agrees with a nod.

"I'll see who it is while you get ready." As he exits into our bedroom after a quick kiss, our impatient guest rings again. _I hope nothing's wrong._ As I slip into a comfortable pair of black sandals, I hear hurried footsteps on the staircase.

"Mommy! I'm home!" Tyler calls out, immediately bringing a smile to my face.

"Hey, buddy," I say as he launches himself at me. I hug him tightly then set him on his feet. He beams up at me.

"I missed you, so Zander bringed me home."

"Brought you home," I correct, "and I missed you, too." I place a single kiss on the top of his head. "Are you ready to see Grandma and Grandpa?"

"Yeah! I can't wait to see them. I also want to see Tess and Teags. I missed them," he says, thoughtfully, but then he frowns. "Don't tell them I said that." I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.

"I would _never_ tell them that." He grins up at me, obviously relieved, then wraps his arms around my legs, nearly knocking me over with his hug.

"Are we ready to go?" he excitedly asks.

"Well, I have to do my hair first," I say. "How should I wear it?"

"What about a braid?"

"That's easy enough," I say. "Do you want to watch?"

"Sure," he says then takes off for the bathroom.

"Where is your Daddy?" I ask Tyler as I lift him onto the countertop next to me. I'm surprised Tobias hasn't joined us yet.

"He said he had to talk to Zander," he says. His eyes are following my hands as I brush my nearly dry hair. "You're pretty, Mommy." Tears wet my eyes at his unexpected compliment. _Damn pregnancy hormones!_

"Well, thank you, my sweet boy," I say as I place another kiss on top his head. He then proceeds to tell me all about his visit with Zane while I put my hair in a simple French braid. He definitely had a good time with his best friend and will more than likely nap on our way to Abnegation since it sounds like he didn't get one earlier. "Let's go find Daddy."

"I'm right here," Tobias says as he comes in the bathroom. "You look lovely, Tris. I like this dress."

"Thanks," I say. "You picked it out."

"I must have good taste," he says with a sexy grin. "You better go potty before we go, Tyler." Tyler looks up at his father with a befuddled look.

"How do you know I hafta go?"

"You can't stand still," Tobias says causing Tyler to giggle.

"I'll get some ginger ale while I wait," I say. "My stomach isn't feeling too well at the moment."

"Have you taken your medicine?"

"Yeah, I have," I say. "And the nausea isn't too bad but it's definitely there."

"We can cancel," Tobias says.

"No," I say. "I want to see Mom and Dad. Besides we have to pick up the girls."

"If you're sure."

"I am," I say. I get a travel cup out of the cupboard and fill it with flat ginger ale then get a few stale ginger cookies and put them in a baggy. I've found they help me better than saltines so I like to keep them on me even if I don't really need them.

"I'm ready, Mommy," Tyler says as he bounds down the stairs, stopping at my feet.

"Please don't run," I say, exasperatedly.

"I'm sorry," he says. He sighs and shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know why I forget." _That makes two of us_.

"You're going to fall one day and get hurt," Tobias says as he joins us. "I think you're old enough to remember now. The next time you run on the stairs, Mommy and I are going to take your computer away for one week." Tyler's eyes widen and his bottom lip starts to tremble. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, Daddy," he says. "I'm sorry." He comes over to me and wraps his arms around my legs.

"Why don't you go get the car and we'll meet you out front," I say to Tobias.

"Okay," he says, sulking. I don't know who is taking this harder, Tyler or Tobias.

"I'm sorry," Tyler says, tears running down his face. "Is daddy mad at me?"

"He's not mad at you," I say. "He wants you safe. We both do."

"I-I don't w-want him t-to take m-my 'puter a-away," he sobs. He's having a hard time catching his breath.

"Come here," I say. I lift him onto my lap and hold him close, gently running my hand up and down his back. I don't think he would be this upset if he wasn't so tired. "If you don't run in the house you won't lose your computer but if you break the rules you need consequences. That is how you learn. Daddy and I have been very lenient up until now, and we have to tell you all the time not to run. Maybe if you don't get to play with one of your favorite toys for a week you'll remember."

"I'm sorry," he cries.

"Let's go down and wait for daddy," I say. "Okay?"

"Okay." My poor little guy sounds miserable. I doubt that he makes it more than two blocks in the car before he's out like a light. I'm close. Tyler falls asleep waiting for Tobias to pull the car up.

"I'll get him," he says. He carefully lifts him from my lap and places him in his car seat.

"Are you going to mope all night?" We're nearly to Abnegation and I haven't been able to coax a single word out of my husband. He grumbles incoherently. I cross my arms over my chest and narrow my eyes at him. "I'm sorry. I'm not fluent in grunt."

"I'm _not_ going to _mope_ all night."

"I know you don't like disciplining the kids. Neither do I but if we don't, how are they going to learn? The only reason he got so upset was because he was dead tired. He didn't have a nap today. Tyler is a good boy but even he makes mistakes. You can't get all brooding and moody." He stares straight ahead. I sigh. I know what's going through his head. "You're not Marcus." He stiffens in his seat but still doesn't acknowledge me.

I stare out my passenger window and surreptitiously wipe away the moisture escaping my eyes. I don't want to cry but I'm very frustrated right now. Tobias has the tendency to shut down emotionally when he has to discipline one of the kids. It's always the same thing. My guess is he remembers his fear landscape, more precisely his fear of becoming is father. He hasn't been in his fear landscape since that terrible day two years ago when he experienced the death of his entire family but the memories are there. And they are potent. I wish I knew what to do to help but I'm at a loss. I jump a little when Tobias rests his hand on my knee.

"I'm sorry, Tris," he says, sounding too much like Four for my liking. I make sure there is no moisture left beneath my eyes then I slowly turn to look at him but he's concentrating on the road, which is probably a good thing because the road along this stretch is worse than it's ever been. I make a mental note to talk to Dad about it. Road construction could be added to the list of jobs for the work release details.

"If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you, Tobias," I say. "I know that whatever this is runs deeper than just giving your son some discipline. I know you'll never hurt him." He stiffens again and I realize I hit the nail on the head.

"If I didn't hurt him, why did he cry?" _Oh, my poor Tobias._ Sometimes I truly despise my in-laws. They left him broken, and it's my responsibility to put him back together.

"Because he's 5, and because he was exhausted," I say. "And most importantly, he never wants to disappoint you and he knows he did." We pull up behind Caleb and Cara's car in front of my parent's house, and Tobias turns off the engine. I fully expect the silence to wake Tyler but he's still sound asleep. "Tobias." He meets my eyes and the tortured look on his face wets my eyes again.

"I keep seeing Tyler and Tessa in my fear landscape," he says. "They were _so_ scared … of _me_. How do I stop seeing that, especially when my boy looks up at me and has tears in his eyes?" I take his face between my palms, caressing his cheeks with my thumbs.

"I'm sorry for every bad thing your parents ever did to you. No child deserves a childhood like yours," I say. "But I think it's past time for you to realize that you are _not_ Marcus Eaton. You are a good father. You are a good husband. You always have your family's best interests at heart. You are nothing like Marcus. You are a good man."

"I know you get tired of my insecurities," he says, his voice teetering on the edge of calm. "Hell, I'm tired of them myself."

"I just hate that you are so hard on yourself, baby. You saw Tyler's tears and jumped to conclusions," I say. "He asked me if you were mad at him." This news makes him cringe. "I explained why we did what we did. He said he understood before he had his meltdown."

"We?"

"You know, disciplining our kids doesn't fall squarely on your shoulders," I say. "Please don't think it does. We're in this together."

"And I couldn't be happier with having you as my partner," he says. He gently cups the back of my head and draws me forward across the empty space. His lips graze mine once, twice, then he molds his mouth to mine, kissing me passionately. He slips his tongue between my parted lips when I drag in a ragged breath and slides it along mine. "I love you," he pants against my mouth. After another quick and surprisingly tender kiss, he pulls away. "And I'm sorry for acting like a jackass on our way here, love. It was juvenile of me, and you deserve better."

"I can't say it's okay but I'd be lying if I said I didn't understand," I say. "Next time just talk to me. That's all I ask. We may solve nothing but," I shrug my shoulders, "I am a good listener." Mom and Dad's front door flies opens interrupting our conversation, and Tessa and Teags come running out. Tobias' chin drops, and he shakes his head.

"I guess we need to remind them to walk also," he says. I wave at Mom who returns the gesture then goes back inside.

"Mama! Dadda!" they both yell as they sail toward the car, talking over each other a million miles a minute trying to get the most attention.

"Hey hey hey!" Tobias says as he quickly gets out of the car. He picks them both up and quiets them down but it does nothing to quash their excitement.

"Mommy?" Tyler groggily says sounding very confused. I turn in my seat and see him rubbing his eyes.

"Did you have a nice nap, buddy?" I ask.

"Where are we?" he asks, ignoring my question.

"Grandma and Grandpa's house," I say. I watch as his eyes light up at the news. He turns his head towards the window, beaming.

"I need out," he excitedly says. It looks like his earlier meltdown is long forgotten.

"Just a second," I say. I get out and lean into the backseat to unbuckle him. Not wanting him to lose computer privileges for a week, I remind him not to run as I let him out of the car.

"Okay, Mommy," he says before he calmly walks up to Tobias and his sisters.

"Hi, Daddy!" he says. "Hi, Tess. Hi, Teags."

"Hi, buddy," Tobias says sounding genuinely surprised. He looks up at me with an emotional smile. I think he honestly thought Tyler would hate him forever just because he was being a parent and a good one at that.

"Hi, Ty-Ty," the girls say at the same time. "Come see," Tess adds. Tobias puts the girls down, and they each take one of Tyler's hands and lead him toward the house. I quickly take my phone out and snap a photo. _That's definitely a keeper._

"What's this about?" I ask Tobias.

"I'm not entirely sure but they're both very excited about whatever it is," he says with a chuckle. We close the door behind us and I immediately know what all the hoopla is about … cookies. I can smell them. When we walk into the kitchen my mouth hits the floor. It's more than cookies … it's cookies, breads, and cakes.

"We've been baking all afternoon since it was raining," Mom says, noticing my expression. "We're going to take it to the soup kitchen."

"The factionless will be eating very well tomorrow," Tobias says, eyeing the baked goods.

"And my grandkids will be eating very well tonight," Dad says as he enters the kitchen with Caleb trailing behind him. Cara is sitting at the kitchen table looking a little green.

"Hi, Dad," I say.

"Hello, Beatrice. It's so nice to see you. Thanks for letting my gorgeous granddaughters spend the night last night. We had such a good time."

"And they are both such good little helpers in the kitchen," Mom adds.

"They not 'pose to be in the kitchen, Grandma," Tyler says, completely serious.

"Oh, Tyler," I say, once again trying to hide a chuckle. "They can help Grandma. They just can't play in the kitchen by themselves."

"Why is that?" Caleb asks.

"The terrible two get into everything," Tobias says. "And it still amazes me how two such little girls can make such big messes." We all laugh and Tessa and Teags frown. "We're not laughing _at_ you, girls." This seems to appease them for the moment. I hear a soft moan and look toward the sound.

"Cara, are you okay?" I ask. She really doesn't look well. I can't help but hope that my kids don't come down with what she has.

"Ugh," she says as she hurriedly leaves the room, Caleb following after her.

"Did I say something wrong?" I ask.

"No, Beatrice," my mom says.

"I'm going to check on her," I say. I wander out to the living room but find it empty. Near the top of the stairs, I hear the telltale sounds of vomiting. When I reach the open bathroom door something clicks into place for me. "How far along are you?" Caleb turns at the sound of my voice. His worried face brightens as he smiles widely.

"12 weeks yesterday," Cara says, although she isn't smiling. "I thought the morning sickness was supposed to end by now. And why the hell do they call it that anyway when you feel like shit 24/7."

"It's been rough, I take it."

"Hell," she mumbles. Caleb wets a washcloth and gently swipes it over his wife's face as she rests on the toilet.

"I have something downstairs that might help with your nausea," I say.

"Is everything okay up here," Tobias says as he appears in the already crowded bathroom.

"Can you bring me my ginger cookies?"

"You all right, love?" he asks, instantly worried.

"You, too?" Caleb asks, staring at me.

"Too?" Tobias asks but then understanding dawns on his face. "I'll be right back and congratulations."

"Thanks, Four," Caleb says. "Right back at you." The proud papas shake hands then Tobias goes to retrieve the cookies. "You look good, sis."

"I'll be honest, it's been rough. I couldn't keep anything down there for a while. I got dehydrated. But Zander gave me something earlier this week and I feel much better. I've barely needed the ginger ale and cookies but I keep them with me at all times."

"I haven't found anything that helps," Cara says. "I don't get sick very often but I'm in a near constant state of nausea. If I'd have known it was going to be like this, I might have told Caleb no when he wanted to start a family."

"If I'd have known, I wouldn't have asked." I didn't know my brother was so sweet. It's obvious he loves Cara very much.

"Here you go," Tobias says, handing me the bag of cookies.

"I discovered these at Amity's farmers market," I say. "They're not the tastiest things in the world but they do the trick. I hope they help."

"Thank you," Cara says. "So how far along are you?"

"10 weeks," I say.

"Does Mom and Dad know?" Caleb asks.

"I don't think so," I say, "but since the girls spent the night, it's hard to tell. They told the nanny. We tried to keep it a secret but Christina has a weird sixth sense about these things. Then I accidentally told some of our other friends."

"And I did too," Tobias adds.

"So, we decided to just make the announcement a little early since we couldn't remember who knew and who didn't," I say.

"Mommy," Tyler says. "What are you doing in the bathroom?"

"We were just talking." He looks around then shrugs.

"Grandma sent me to tell you supper is ready," he says. "Come on."

Tyler takes my hand and leads me to the kitchen. I help the girls up to the already set table and then find my own seat between Tyler and Tobias. We have a nice, simple supper surrounded by the people I love most in this world. The conversation flows easily. Mom tells us about her week. Dad reminds Caleb and me about the council meeting later in the week. It was scheduled for Abnegation but has changed to Amity, which more than likely means an overnight trip. I give my suggestions for adding road construction to the city improvement list, and Dad ensures me that it's already on it but toward the bottom. Once supper is over, we all file into the cramped living room and sit down. Tessa climbs up on my lap as Teags does the same with Tobias. Tyler sits at our feet putting a puzzle together over and over.

"Mom, Dad, Cara and I have some news for you," Caleb says when there's a lull in the conversation. They both look on expectantly. I'm sure they've guessed what their news is already. Cara barely ate anything during supper. She sipped my ginger ale and nibbled on the cookies. "We're having a baby! She's 12 weeks yesterday."

"Oh! I was wondering but I didn't want to ask," Mom says as she gets up and hugs both Caleb and Cara. "How have you been feeling?"

"To be honest, just terrible, Natalie," she says. "It's been the longest 12 weeks of my life."

"Pregnancy isn't always easy," she says. "When I was pregnant with Caleb I didn't even have morning sickness. But with Beatrice, oh my! I could hardly stand the smell of food let alone eating it. And the smell of Andrew's cologne. I finally took the bottle and buried it out back."

"I got the hint," Dad says, pulling Cara in for a hug. "I hope things get better for you soon."

"Thanks, Andrew," she says. "I hope so, too."

"When are you due?" I ask.

"February 2," Caleb says.

"That's by my birthday!" Tyler says.

"It sure is, buddy," I say. "Are you excited to have a little cousin?"

"Only if it's a boy," he says.

"Tyler," Tobias says. "You'll love your cousin whether it's a boy or a girl."

"I'll love him more if he's a boy," he states matter-of-factly.

"Mama?"

"Yes, little one," I say.

"Auntie have baby in her tummy like you?" she asks. I think that's the plainest sentence she's ever spoken. I'm glad we had planned to tell them our secret.

"Yes, Aunt Cara has a baby in her tummy."

"Otay!"

"Beatrice?" my father asks. I look at Tobias and he smiles at me then nods.

"Four and I have some news, too." Mom literally squeals then covers her mouth. "I'm around 10 weeks pregnant."

"Oh, my goodness!" Mom says, tears in her eyes. "Two more grandchildren within a couple weeks of each other. We are so blessed, Andrew."

"We most certainly are, my love," he says as the hug each other tightly.

"So, are you due around February 16?" Caleb asks.

"Actually, my due date is January 23," I slowly say. I grasp Tobias's hand, preparing to give my family even more news.

"How is that possible?" Cara asks in disbelief. "You just said you're 10 weeks."

"Well, Tris is pregnant with twins," Tobias says.

"Twins!" everyone exclaims at the same time.

"Yeah!" my girls say wanting in on the conversation.

"Yes, twins," I say. "We were floored when we were told the news." Tobias and I move the girls off our laps to get up and receive hugs and congratulations from everyone.

"Was this planned?" Mom quietly asks against my ear.

"Failed birth control," I say. _Again_.

"But you're happy." It's not a question. She can tell that I'm overjoyed.

"Over the moon actually," I say. "We had just started talking about having another one when I was hit with some weird bruising."

"Anemia?"

"Yeah," I say. "We were shocked when Zander gave us the news, especially about the twins. We weren't expecting that in a million years. I'm already starting to show." I tighten my dress across my abdomen showing off the subtle bulge between my hip bones. Maybe it's an optical illusion but I like to think I'm showing.

"Five children, Beatrice Grace. I can't imagine," she says. "But I know you can handle it. You are a natural and so good with Tyler and the girls."

"Thanks, Mom," I say. "It isn't easy but being a mother is the most wonderful, rewarding job. I wouldn't trade my set of hooligans for anything." Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan start laughing wildly.

"What about the preeclampsia?" Dad asks.

"We have a plan in place to monitor her bloodwork and blood pressure," Tobias says, all humor gone. This is his greatest fear, and I won't take it lightly. I love that he worries about me. "Zander will be her physician of record instead of Isobel. She's a wonderful nurse and a great friend but this is a high-risk pregnancy, and we want everything to go as smoothly as possible."

"Well, I think we need some cookies to celebrate," Mom says. "Who would like some milk, too?" The kids' hands all shoot up. Tobias and Caleb decline but Cara and I accept.

"You look like you're feeling better," I say to Cara.

"I am. These stale cookies are magic. I wish I knew about them about nine weeks ago."

"I have several boxes at home," I say. "You can have those. I can send you some more if you would like."

"I would like that, Tris."

"Hey, does Will know about this?" I ask.

"Not yet," she says. "We're having lunch on Tuesday. I plan on telling him then."

"I won't spoil your surprise then," I say. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly.

"I'm so lucky to have you as my sister-in-law," she says. "I'm lucky to have your whole family. Poor Caleb has to deal with my mother."

"Oh, she's not that bad, babe," he says as he hands Cara a glass of milk and a plate with two snicker doodle cookies on it. "We have an understanding, and I'm sure once we tell her about the baby that things will be even better." A look flashes across his face saying it better or there will be hell to pay but as soon as it's there, it's gone. I didn't know he was still having problems with Dara.

"Here you go, love," Tobias says, handing me an identical plate and glass. "I'm going to sit in the kitchen with the kids."

"Okay," I say. I tilt up my chin and receive a quick peck before he abandons me for the kids.

"So, my little sister is having twins," Caleb says. "It's hard to believe."

"I can't believe it sometimes but I saw the pictures of Button and Bean."

"Button and Bean?" Cara asks.

"Yeah the twins looked like a button and a bean in my ultrasound just like Teagan looked like a peanut."

"Hhm. What do you think our baby looks like, Caleb?"

"Um, a blob," he slowly says, real fear in his eyes. He obviously has been on the wrong end of irrational pregnancy hormones. Cara immediately starts laughing.

"I agree," she says. "I had a hard time making it out at all. It just looked like a little blob. But it's our blob." A single tear slides down her cheek. "So, Tris, tell me everything I need to know about being pregnant." For the next hour, the conversation is about everything baby. She fires question after question at me, and I answer them to the best of my ability. The only subject she doesn't broach is the labor and birth itself and I understand why. If you focus on the delivery the entire time, you're probably going to make yourself crazy.

"Love, I hate to do this but we have three kids who are almost down for the count," Tobias says. "I think we should go now."

"Of course."

"Up, Mama," Tessa says when I walk into the kitchen. I lift her into my arms, and she promptly falls asleep with her head resting on my shoulder.

"You weren't kidding," I quietly say. "Tyler, can you walk?" His head is bobbing while he fights sleep.

"I'll get him," Dad says. "Come here, big guy. Grandpa's got you." Tobias picks up Teags and she starts crying.

"Sshh, baby girl." She mutters something about not being a baby then finally closes her eyes and she too falls asleep.

"I'll bring their diaper bag," Mom says. We all file out of the house and to the car. We put the kids in their seats while mom puts the bag in the trunk. When the kids are secure, we say our goodbyes. After a final round of hugs, Tobias and I pull away from the curb heading home.


	41. Chapter 41

10-08-17 A/N: I just wanted to let everyone know that earlier this week the world lost a great man. My dad lost his battle with COPD/pulmonary hypertension. I'm not sure when I will be updating my story. Maybe after things calm down a little and life starts to return to its new normal, I will pick up my Surface and start to write again. Until then, thank you all my loyal readers. You've stuck by me through thick and thin including an angry fit when I took my stories down. I will write again but it will take time.

-Julie


	42. Chapter 42

"Hey, when are you going to talk to Oliver?" Tobias asks. We're on our way to the infirmary for a meeting with Zander. He's finally started getting results back on the samples taken in the chasm from the week before last.

"I should have done that before I went to Amity for the council meeting last week," I say. "The final fights are what, Wednesday?" He nods. "If he wants to stick around for Phase II he's going to have to change his attitude."

"Remember what I said. I want to be present when you talk to him," Tobias says.

"Don't trust me?" I'm only kidding, knowing his overprotective nature, but there's an edge to my voice. I don't like being told what to do, and by the look on his face, he knows exactly what I'm thinking.

"I trust you wholeheartedly, love. You know that," he says, slinging his arm around my shoulder and kissing my forehead. "But there's something about that kid." He shakes his head, his look troubled. "I don't like how he watches you. It's like he's made you the center of his world here." My head snaps around.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, befuddled. We stop in the middle of the path. He stares into my eyes as he obviously gathers his thoughts.

"I noticed a change in his demeanor when you welcomed him to Dauntless at the net. It was obvious he found you attractive but when you singled him out, his pupils dilated, his jaw tensed, and hell, his breathing became erratic. I know what desire looks like, Tris, so I've kept an eye on him."

"I knew I made a mistake the moment those words left my lips. I still have no idea why I did it," I say, shaking my head at my own stupidity. "But desire? Are you sure?"

"Positive, love. He looks at you the way I do," he says.

"I know he's always watching but I really had no idea."

"That's because you still don't see yourself clearly," he says. "You're strong, beautiful, loving, caring. You are the best friend, leader, daughter, sister, wife, mother, lover. You are a very desirable woman, Beatrice Grace Eaton." I grab him by the shirt and pull his mouth to mine. I blush bright red as a group of Dauntless members move around us, snickering. I totally forgot we were standing in the middle of the busy path. Tobias grumbles a bit at the interruption then turns his loving eyes back to me. "I just want you to be careful when dealing with him."

"I will," I say. "And thank you for the compliments, husband. I love you."

"I love you, too, wife," he says. He gently takes my hand in his, and we continue on to the Pit floor. "So how are you feeling? Do you think breakfast is going to stay with you?" The medication Isobel prescribed for my nausea has helped tremendously but I still get sick from time to time so I've been trying to keep my diet as bland as possible but this morning I couldn't say no to the blueberry waffles and sausage Tobias made. They smelled too good and tasted even better.

"I have my cookies with me just in case," I say, patting the front pocket of my stretchy pants. No more jeans for me. Even though I'm only about 14 weeks, I'm definitely showing. I can hide it with baggy shirts but it's blatantly obvious in the skin hugging outfit I have on right now. Tobias and I have even started getting congratulated in the hallways of the compound. The twin news is still under wraps for the time being but we plan on telling our friends soon.

"Do you want to stop by the cafeteria and get some ginger ale?" he asks noticing that the ever-present bottle that has become a fixture is absent.

"Yeah, actually I do," I say. "I can't believe I left it on the counter after I filled it." We detour to the cafeteria and grab a drink. It's late enough that our table is nearly empty but we stop to say hi to its lone occupant.

"Hi, Will," Tobias says, breaking him out of his reverie. He looks up but doesn't smile.

"Oh, hey," he mutters.

"Something wrong?" I ask as I slide onto the bench across from him. I know we should be going but I can't leave a friend looking so forlorn.

"I was just thinking about something," he says. He opens his mouth to say something else but then shuts it.

"What is it, Will?" I pry.

"You know I had lunch with Cara last week," he slowly says after a beat. She obviously told him their good news but he's unsure if I know.

"Yes," I say. "And she told you their news."

"Oh, thank God you know," he breathes. "I finally told Christina this morning, and she didn't take it well. I'm not sure she's happy for them."

"What makes you think that?" Tobias asks. Before Will can answer I speak.

"She told me they're trying to have another baby." I turn my attention from my husband to my distraught friend. "I'm confident she's happy for Caleb and Cara. She loves them both very much. She didn't take our," I motion between Tobias and me, "news the greatest either but she's pleased for us. I know it's hard on her though. She's been trying to get pregnant for a long time, and I got pregnant on accident. _Again_. I can't say I know how she feels but I can empathize with her."

"I would love to give Liam a little brother or sister just as much as Christina does but it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen," Will says. "I think this might destroy her, destroy us, if she doesn't get pregnant soon. It was bad enough when it was just Ciara that was pregnant but now her best friend and sister-in-law are expecting too. I don't know what to do."

"The stress can't be helping," I say.

"It's not," he says. "We only have sex when she's ovulating and we argue … a lot. The romance is dead." He sighs. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be unloading on you like this."

"You're not unloading," I say. I reach across the table and cover his hand with mine. "Do you want me to talk to her?"

"Under normal circumstances I'd say yes in a heartbeat but I'm not sure, Tris," he says then sighs. "She's not herself right now, and I don't want to make matters worse."

"I understand," I say. "I won't broach the subject."

"I don't mean to cut this short but Tris and I have a meeting with Zander that we're late for," Tobias says.

"I understand," Will says, giving my hand a healthy squeeze before letting it go. "I better get back to work anyway. I can't sit here stewing all day."

"I'm sorry you're having a rough time," I say as Tobias and I get up from the table. "I'm sure things will turn around soon."

"I hope so," he mutters, making no move to get up.

"We'll see you later," Tobias says. We leave him to his thoughts and head out into the bustling Pit.

"I feel bad for them," I say. "I wish there was something I could do."

"Just be there for them," he says, stopping just outside the infirmary doors. "You didn't tell me they were trying for another one."

"I guess I never thought to tell you about it," I say. "She only told me when she figured out I was pregnant. They've been trying for a long time, since before Grayson was born."

"Damn," he mutters.

"I know."

"Don't stress over it," he says as he tucks an unruly strand behind my ear.

I want to tease him about his worry wart ways but instead I say, "Of course I won't. There's nothing I can do except be there for her."

"If she asks," he says, echoing Will's wishes.

"I know."

"We better go," Tobias says as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. "Zander's wondering where we are." He holds the door open and ushers me through with his hand on the small of my back. Zander is by the reception desk waiting for us.

"Sorry we're late," I say. "We were talking to Will and lost track of time."

"It's okay," Zander says. "I just wanted to make sure we didn't have our wires crossed." I study his face and notice pronounced circles under his tired eyes. He obviously hasn't gotten much sleep over the past week or so.

"Have you learned anything new?" Tobias asks, keeping his question purposely vague.

"Let's talk in my office," he says. We maneuver through the labyrinth-like hallways to his new office. It's much homier than his old one. Gone is the cold black and white color scheme, replaced with warm browns, tans, and taupes complemented with splashes of seafoam green and sky blue. It perfectly matches his personality. "Have a seat." Tobias and I sit on the small, comfortable leather loveseat across from Zander in the intimate seating area in the corner of the room. He tosses a rather thick file on the coffee table between us. "I wish I had better news for you," indicating the folder with the nod of his head. Tobias picks it up and I gaze over his shoulder.

"Inconclusive?" Tobias asks, leafing through the paperwork. That single word seems to leap off page after page.

"Exactly," he says. "There wasn't a single viable DNA sample taken from the chasm walls or rocks. They were too degraded either by water or time."

"How could they be degraded by time?" I ask. "Maintenance cleans down there every month."

"I'd say they aren't doing a very good job of it," Zander says.

"Hhm," Tobias mutters under his breath.

"What is it?" I ask. He hands me a sheet of paper that caught his attention.

"The handprint pattern analysis revealed they were random?" Tobias says, looking over at Zander.

"After entering all the data into the computer, it calculated that there was no discernible pattern, which makes sense if they weren't made at the same time. Also, some of those prints weren't actually blood after all but grease, dirt, and grime from member's hands." Apparently, more people know about our special getaway than we thought.

"What about the hallway?" I ask, giving the handprint analysis back to Tobias. He slips it into the folder then continues flipping through the file.

"The majority of those samples were degraded by the cleansers used by maintenance."

"The chemicals react to cleansers?" Tobias asks.

"Yes, bleach and a handful of other solvents," Zander says. "I double checked my findings with Erudite to be positive. They said that whoever cleaned the hallway must have done a very thorough job because it's damn near impossible to totally destroy blood proteins. But they didn't do a perfect job."

"What?" Tobias and I say at the same time. Zander gets up and retrieves a photograph off his desk. He hands it to Tobias who quickly looks it over then hands it to me.

"There was a single blood droplet in the corner of the doorway to the chasm. It's my opinion that the cleanup occurred with the door closed and that's why it was missed, which was lucky for us," he says. "This was the only sample taken that gave us a clean DNA sample."

"Did it match anyone?" Tobias asks just as I ask, "Did you check it against Shauna's?" She volunteered to give a sample of her DNA to match against the evidence collected in the chasm.

"No, it didn't match Shauna's," he says. "Unfortunately, it's from an unknown male with type O negative blood."

"Damn!" Tobias cries, exhaling in a huff. "I was hoping the results would give us a direction to head into. This doesn't tell us a damn thing." He tosses the file on the coffee table and I pick it up. "Hell, that blood droplet could be from one of the chasm maintenance workers and be totally unrelated to the incident in the Pit."

"Who did you try to match the sample against?" I ask, knowing that not every single Dauntless member's DNA is in our database.

"I've only run them through exemplars we've taken from past and present Dauntless members since I knew you wanted the results as soon as possible," Zander says. "I can have the profile sent to the council and tested against its database, especially since we've had breeches in security in the past from other factions. I don't know if it would be worth it but it doesn't hurt to try."

"I would appreciate it," Tobias says.

"Can we ask for DNA samples from each maintenance worker to eliminate them as the contributor of that blood droplet?" I ask.

"I think that's a good idea," Tobias says.

"Even though we can't legally compel them to comply, I think if we ask for elimination prints and DNA to rule them out that they won't mind giving us samples," Zander says.

"Unless they have something to hide," Tobias mumbles and then he sighs. "So, I just made you do nearly two weeks' worth of work for nothing." He sinks back into the loveseat and looks up at the ceiling. I can tell this news has hit him hard.

"Not for nothing, Four," Zander says and Tobias moves his eyes to look at our friend. "We may not know the significance of that blood droplet but we know it's important."

"What do you mean?" I interject before Tobias can respond.

"Someone went to a great deal of trouble to thoroughly clean up evidence in that hallway," Zander says. "If it was a maintenance worker with a nose bleed do you think they would have taken the time to scrub every inch of not only the walls and floor but the ceiling? I don't think so."

"You have a point," Tobias says. "But it's just so damn frustrating to not know any more than we did before. Hell, I think I have more questions now."

"I understand what you mean," I say. "I thought for sure finding that blood had something to do with Hector and his father."

"Me too," Tobias says.

"It still might," Zander says. "You never know."

"Thanks for all your hard work," Tobias says. "You need some time off. You look like death warmed over, bud."

"Gee thanks," he says, letting a yawn escape.

"You know what I mean," Tobias says. "You're exhausted. I want you to take the rest of the week off. Call the hospital and get someone to cover your hours. We'll pay double for today since it's short notice."

"Normally I'd argue with you, but I'm too tired right now," he says. "Plus, Stella has the next few days off. It would be nice to spend some extra time with my wife. I feel like I haven't seen her in nearly two weeks."

"I'm sorry I worked you so hard," Tobias says.

"Don't apologize," he says. "It's my job."

"And I appreciate everything you do. Now go home."

"I will as soon as I call in reinforcements," he says.

"Well, Tris and I need to make an appearance in the training room," Tobias says.

"That's right," Zander says. "Phase one is nearly over. How are the new recruits doing?"

"We have a great batch of initiates this year," I say. "I'm pleased with their progress. I think they'll be great additions to the faction." _With one exception._

"Even Hector?" he asks.

"Hector's attitude has improved greatly since the incident in the Pit," Tobias says. "He works each night in the cafeteria and follows all the rules. I've noticed him socializing with more of the transfers. They're a pretty tightknit bunch this year. I swear they're all friends." _Again, with one exception._

"That is something," Zander says. "That doesn't even happen with the Dauntless-born."

"Yeah," Tobias says. "They're pretty cliquey."

"Always are," he says then yawns widely.

"We need to get going, and you need to go home and get some rest," Tobias says. "Forget about work for the rest of this week. When you get back, we'll have a meeting on what exactly we need to do next with regard to that viable sample."

"Sounds like a plan, Four," he says as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. "I better call the hospital before they can't send a replacement for the day."

"We'll get out of your hair," I say as I get to my feet. I pick up the file folder and tuck it under my arm and follow Tobias into the hallway. We quietly chat about the results until we reach the training room door.

"Hey, do you want me to take that for you?" he asks, pointing to the file folder I had totally forgotten about.

"No, that's okay," I say, going up on my tiptoes to give him a quick kiss. "I'll run it up to my office."

"Take your time, love," he says.

"I'll be right back."


	43. Chapter 43

As I cross the threshold into the training room after a quick trip to my office to lock the important file Zander gave Tobias and me away, I stop short. The smell of sweat, dust, metal, and sulfur assaults my nostrils, making me sick to my stomach but not because of the ever-present morning sickness. No, this will always be one of my least favorite places in the compound. The simple task of entering this room takes me back to a day I'd rather forget every single time. I shake off the unwelcome feeling and make my way across the expansive room to where my husband is standing with Uriah and Christina.

"Hey guys."

"There you are," Tobias says. He's standing with his toned arms crossing his broad chest, his steely eyes on the practice fight in front of us. The Dauntless-born encompassing the mat are calling out words of encouragement to their friends and razzing their foes. Everyone looks like they're having a good time except for Christina. Her face is wearing a scowl and her right foot is tapping impatiently. I know Will doesn't want me to talk to her but she looks like she's about to explode.

"The kids caught me in my office," I say. "Bridget and Fiona are taking them to the park so they can have a picnic with Liam. They're really excited."

"I'm sure they are," he says.

"So how are the fights going?" I ask. "They look like they've improved significantly."

"They have," Uriah says, pride unmistakable in is tone. "I feel like we could skip to phase two already."

"We'll see how well they do when we start long gun practice next week," Christina mumbles under her breath. Tobias turns and gazes at her with concern while Uriah looks on questioningly.

"You okay?" I quietly ask, saddling up beside her.

"Mm-hm," she mutters.

"If you want to talk, you know I'm here for you," I say before turning my attention away from her surliness. I don't want it to rub off on me.

The next hour or so passes quickly as we watch Dauntless-born after Dauntless-born show off unprecedented skill. They definitely have to be the most impressive class I've ever seen. If it weren't for fatigue I don't think the practice fights would ever end.

"Go ahead and go to lunch," Uriah says after the last fight finishes. "Remember to be back by 1:30."

"You want to eat in the cafeteria or at home?" Tobias asks once the final initiate leaves.

"Home," I say. "I don't want to walk all the way to the Pit."

"All right. We'll see you guys after lunch," he says to Uriah and Christina but instead of acknowledging us, she stalks toward the door.

"Do you have any idea what's up with her?" Uriah asks as we watch her retreating form.

"It's personal," I say not wanting to reveal too much.

"Has she been like this a lot lately?" Tobias asks.

"She's been somewhat distracted since initiation started but nothing like today," he says. "She's grumpier than usual."

"Let me know if it becomes a problem," Tobias says.

"I'm sure she'll be fine," I say, feeling the need to stand up for my best friend knowing exactly why she's acting uncharacteristically.

"I'm sure she will," Tobias agrees, "but just in case, I want to be kept apprised of her mood. Our initiates are our future, and they need our best instructors. Obviously, she's not at her best right now."

"Maybe we should talk about this later," I say, my eyes darting to Uriah then back.

"You're right," Tobias says.

"I'll keep you updated," Uriah says, "and I'll keep this conversation between the three of us."

"We'd appreciate that," Tobias says.

"I better get going if I want to make it back here on time," Uriah says.

"Us, too," Tobias says. "We'll see you later."

"Bye, Uri," I say then turn my attention to my husband. "So, what are you going to feed me when we get home, gorgeous? I'm starving."

"What makes you think I'll be fixing lunch?" he asks with a chuckle.

"You got me pregnant, therefore you cook. It's the least you can do."

"Is that right?" he asks, sliding his arm around my waist and pulling me against his side.

"You know I'm always right," I tease.

"Okay. I'll fix you lunch today but you might not be so lucky next time," he says. His lips graze my temple, and I can't help but smile.

"You know you can't tell me no."

"Try me, beautiful," he says. "I've been practicing." _Hhm_.

"How about a quickie after we eat?" I ask in my most seductive voice, wanting to tease him a little. I look up at him through lowered lashes, and I swear I see his eyes dilate.

"No," he says.

"Are you sure?" I ask as we stop in front of our door. He releases me and digs out his keys. I step behind him, press my body to his, and slowly run my hands up and down his chiseled chest. A low growl rumbles through him when I start pressing kisses to his tattoo. "I'll make it good for you, Tobias, really really good."

"No, Tris," he says, not sounding like he means it one bit. I let go of him as he pushes the door open and we step inside. I purposely brush against the bulge in his jeans and he closes his eyes and swallows hard.

I go up on my tiptoes and flirtatiously whisper in his ear, "I can help you with this," as I lightly trail my fingers over his erection.

"No, no, no, no, no!" I burst out laughing and the erotic haze between us evaporates in an instant.

"You sound like Teagan," I pant once I can breathe again. "Or should I say she sounds just like you?"

"Well she is my daughter," he says with a huge smile on his face.

"I'm sorry I teased."

"I do kind of hate you right now," he says as he rearranges himself, obviously looking for some comfort from the restrictive jeans he's wearing.

"I _can_ help you with that," I say.

"No, love," he says as he glides his knuckles across my jawline. "I'll be fine. Why don't you sit down and rest while I make us some lunch?"

"I'm not tired. I'll help you."

"If you insist," he says.

"I do," I say. I expect him to lead me into the kitchen to start lunch but he stands rooted in place, looking down at me with a soft look of love shining in his eyes.

"After all this time those words … on your lips … still take my breath away," he murmurs. I can't hide my confusion. "I do."

"You're just a big softie, aren't ya?" I murmur against his mouth. "Kiss me, baby." He fists his hand in my hair and tilts my chin up. His mouth meets mine first with love and adoration then passion and urgency. He pulls me close and I run my hands up and down his back.

"Damn," he pants.

"I'm sorry," I murmur. "I didn't mean to get us both worked up again."

"Weren't you just trying to work me up?"

"I was just playing," I whisper. My eyes well up with tears and my throat burns with thick emotion, thinking he's mad at me.

"Hey. _We_ were playing," he says. "Please don't cry, love."

"Damn hormones," I mumble with a chuckle, rubbing my eyes.

"Maybe we should start lunch," Tobias says.

"I think your right." While I get out the fixings for some cold sandwiches, Tobias warms up the chicken and dumpling soup we had a couple nights before. "That smells really good," I say. I inhale the savory scent causing my stomach to grumble loudly.

"Sit down and start on your sandwich," he says. "The soup needs a couple more minutes."

"I'd like to argue with you but I'm starving," I say. I carry our sandwiches to the table, sit down, and dig in.

"Here you go," Tobias says as he sets a soup bowl beside each of our plates. "What do you want to drink? Ginger ale?"

"Do we have any apple juice?" I ask.

"We have a bottle of sparkling cider," he says as he looks in the refrigerator.

"That sounds good." He gets the bottle, opener, and two glasses then joins me. About half way through our meal I ask, "Can we talk about Christina?"

"What about her?"

"Why do you want Uriah keeping an eye on her?" I ask.

"I realize she's hurting right now but if her head is somewhere else on a daily basis I think it's best to give her a break and let someone else take her place with the Dauntless-born temporarily."

"You're not wrong but I think taking her job away right now could be detrimental," I say. "She and I are a lot alike and when something is bothering me, work is a big part of my salvation. It helps to take my mind off my problems."

"I know but I've never seen you as agitated at work as Christina was today," he says.

"I feel so bad for her," I sigh. "I know how crazy I was wanting another baby and that was for only a short time. She's been dealing with this for well over a year. I can't even imagine."

"Neither can I," he says. "And poor Will. Wanting another child and having to put up with Christina."

"Hey!"

"Uh, that didn't come out quite right," he says, color warming his cheeks. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do," I say. "How long before we have to go?"

"15-20 minutes," he says. "Why don't you lie down while I clean this mess up? You're starting to look rundown."

"You're right," I say around a yawn. "Maybe I ate too much because suddenly I'm tired."

"A quick nap will do you good, love," he says.

"Thank you, baby." I kiss his cheek then lie down on the couch. I just doze off when loud, incessant knocking brings me up off the couch like a shot. "Just a minute," I call out.

"Who is it?" Tobias asks as I open the door. My best friend stands there looking shell-shocked.

"Christina?" I guide her into my apartment and sit her down in the club chair she likes so much. I sit on the ottoman in front of her and take her hands in mine. "What is it?"

"He left me," she whispers, staring out the window. _What the?_

"I'll leave you two alone," Tobias says. "Don't worry about work. Take as much time as you need."

"Thanks," I say, meeting his gaze. I mouth I love you and watch him walk out the door.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without him, Tris," she says.

"Tell me what happened," I say. "What do you mean he left you?" I know Will was struggling this morning but I can't believe he would actually leave her. He loves her too much.

"When I was getting ready for work this morning, he told me about Cara," she says. She turns her attention from the window and focuses on me. "I wanted to be happy for her – I really did – but I just couldn't. I can't believe another person I know is having a baby. I got angry and said some things I won't repeat. It wasn't my finest moment. He tried to calm me down but I just kept getting madder and madder. I stormed out without a goodbye. Then I stewed about it all morning. I'm sure everyone could tell something was up." She's not wrong there.

"I decided to apologize to Will for my behavior but before I could go and find him, he messaged me and asked me to come home. The minute I walked through the door I could tell something was wrong. There was a bag packed by the door." _Oh shit!_ "He told me he was leaving, that we need some time apart. He told me he doesn't want any more kids if it was going to make me crazy. He called me crazy, Tris! _Crazy!_ Can you believe that? He told me I need help, that all I do is pick fights with him. He told me that we never make love anymore, that all we do is go through the motions. I don't know why this is happening. I'm losing everything I've worked so hard for, and all I wanted was to give Liam a little brother or sister. It's not fair."

"I'm not going to pretend and say I understand what you're going through but there is one thing I do know, Christina, Will loves you. He won't be able to stay away for long."

"Then why did he leave?"

"He's hurting, too and he's confused," I say.

"How do you know?" she asks.

"I spoke to him earlier."

"You did?" She narrows her eyes at me.

"Yes. I ran into him in the cafeteria. He wasn't himself."

"You did this?" Christina screeches, wrenching her hands from mine. The betrayal in her eyes twist my heart. "How could you? You're supposed to be my best friend."

"Don't be absurd," I spit.

" _Absurd!_ "

" _Calm down, Christina!_ " I say, exasperated. "Of course, I didn't tell him to leave. I'd never betray you like that. Or him for that matter."

"I know," she says, hanging her head. "I didn't mean that."

"Have you thought about talking to someone?" I ask.

"Like who?"

"A psychologist, psychiatrist, or maybe a marriage counselor," I say. "I agree with Will on that very important point, you need help dealing with the infertility."

"What good would talking about it do?" she mutters. "It's not like it would give me what I want"

"Christina, hon, listen to yourself," I gently say. "This isn't you. You are _stronger_ than this." She springs to her feet and as she starts pacing the floor, a single tear slides down her cheek followed by too many to count.

" _Don't tell me how to feel, Tris_ ," she hisses.

"I'm not," I say, holding up my hands hoping to placate her. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do or how to feel. You are entitled to your feelings."

"Damn straight I am," she mutters like a petulant child.

"But there's something you need to remember, Will is entitled to his feelings too," I say, stopping her in her tracks.

"I hate that you make sense," she says after a somber moment. "I just wished it didn't hurt so _damn_ much." I wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly as she sobs on my shoulder. Once she settles down, I lead her into the kitchen and make us each a cup of coffee.

"Where did Will go?" I ask.

"I'm not really sure," she says, sniffling. "He took his bag, told me to kiss Liam, and left. I don't know what to do, Tris."

"What have I always told you?"

"Talk to him," she says. "But that's easier said than done."

"Why?" I ask.

"We don't talk anymore," she says. "We fight … about everything."

"Do you know what starts the fights?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says looking so sad. "Me. Every conversation, no matter how it starts, ends up being about not being able to get pregnant. I get angry, he gets defensive then we argue … a lot."

"That's exactly what Will said this morning," I say. "Well not verbatim. You know, if you don't want to talk to a counselor what about talking to Isobel or Zander? Maybe there's something medical going on that's keeping you from conceiving."

"I never thought about that," she says.

"You also have another option," I gently say not knowing how she'll take it.

"What's that?" she asks, looking genuinely confused.

"Adoption," I say and when I see her start to object I quickly continue. "And before you say that an adopted child wouldn't be your own flesh and blood, your heart won't know the difference. I can attest to that first hand."

"We haven't talked about adoption," she confesses. "I'm not opposed to it but I want to feel another life growing inside me. I want it so bad."

"Even at the expense of your marriage?" She gasps. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

"No, Tris," she says with a sigh. "It really wasn't. I don't want to lose him, I love him so much, but I'm afraid I already have. And it's all my fault."

"Maybe a little time apart will help you," I say.

"How?"

"You're both stressed right now. That's definitely not good on your body. You said that Will complained about sex becoming routine. Forget about making a baby for right now and seduce your husband. Go out on dates. Fall in love all over again. Make love because you want to show him just how much you love him not because you want to get pregnant."

"I could do that," she says. "No, I _will_ do that."

"That's the Christina I know and love," I say and we both laugh then tears fill her eyes once again as a melancholy air blankets the room.

"I can't believe I've let things fall apart so much," she says.

"It wasn't just you."

"But it was, Tris. It's my fault. He's been trying to get me to talk about my feelings for months now and I just bottled them up. I've been horrible. I'm so jealous of Cara, Ciara, and especially you. I know I've been smiling to your face but I haven't been kind behind your back. I'm so sorry. I love you and I'm so happy that you're happy about the twins." I reach over and cover her trembling and with my own.

"You don't have to apologize," I say. "We're best friends. We're going to fight from time to time."

"Oh, God! What am I going to tell Liam about where his Daddy is?"

"Do you think you can convince him to come home even if he sleeps in a spare room?" I ask, not having any advice on what to tell their son.

"I'm not sure I should do that," she says. "He said he needed some space. How much space can I give him in the same apartment? I just don't know what to tell poor Liam."

"I don't know either," I say. "Four and I always try to tell our kids the truth but I'm not sure if that's the way to go or not."

"Maybe I should ask him to come home," she says.

"I don't want to come home just for Liam," Will says. Christina and I both startle at the sound of his voice. He and Tobias are standing in the living room. I didn't even hear the front door open.

"Will!" Christina jumps up and runs into his open arms.

"I'm so sorry, Christy," he says into her hair, holding on to her tightly as they both sob. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"Tris and I will get out of your way," Tobias says, reaching a hand out to me.

"No, don't go," Will says, releasing Christina from his embrace but keeping his arm around her. "Christina, I love you. I'm sorry I walked away. I know now – thanks to Four – that walking away will never solve our problems."

"I'm sorry, too, Will," she says. "I shouldn't have been shutting you out all these months. Tris gave me some things to think about. I still want a baby but I think we need to get our relationship back on track before we start trying again."

"Don't ever think that I don't want more children with you but I'm glad to hear you say that," he says.

"Let's go home and talk," Christina says to Will then looks at Tobias and me. "Tris, thanks for the talk and Four, thanks for bringing Will home. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"Take this weekend off," Tobias says. "Find a sitter for Liam and get away, just the two of you. I've reserved a room for you at a bed and breakfast in Amity. You both deserve some much-needed R&R."

"Thanks, Four," Will says, extending is hand. "We'll take you up on your offer."

"Thanks, Four," Christina says giving him a big hug.

"Come on, Christy," Will says. "Let's go home." Tobias and I watch our friends leave then I look up at him.

"I didn't know you were going after him."

"I figured he was just as big a mess as she was," he says. "And I was right. I found him at the bar drowning his sorrows in a pint. I told him getting drunk wasn't helping to solve his problems. He didn't want to talk so I made him listen. Something I said got through."

"I'm so glad you did," I say. "She was going to fight for him but I'm glad he came to his senses. What made you give them the weekend off?"

"They have a long road in front of them," he says. "I thought I'd give them a head start."

"You really are a big softy," I say. I loop my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine.

"I love you very much, Beatrice Grace," he murmurs against my neck between soft kisses.

"We better get back to the training room before I drag you up to bed."


	44. Chapter 44

This is so hard for me to write, especially so soon after losing my dad. After a short illness, my very beloved mother passed away at home on 3-15-18. I have absolutely no words for how I'm feeling right now. We did absolutely everything together and talked on the phone up to 10 times a day. My heart is obliterated right now. I have so much to do being co-executor of her estate that I just don't think this story will get finished after all. My heart is no longer into it.

Julie


	45. Chapter 45

"What time is it?" I ask, giving in to a wide yawn. I'm standing with Tobias, Ana, and Brody watching the transfers' practice fights, fighting a battle of my own to keep my eyes open. For as impressed as I was with the Dauntless-born's progress this morning, I'm equally disappointed with the transfers' lack of this afternoon. I don't blame Ana or Brody though. They're doing the best they can with the lot they were given. The action, or lack thereof, on the mat in front of us frustrates me to no end. We watch as Oliver takes a beating from a girl half his size.

"It's nearly quitting time," Ana says, looking at her watch.

"Okay," I yell out, having had enough. The transfers all look my way. "It's suppertime. You can go for the night. Don't forget to be at the train bright and early for our trip to the fence tomorrow." I watch as the battered transfers slowly make their way to the door, dragging their feet. It's a good thing Eric's no longer with us or each one of them would have found themselves hanging above the chasm this afternoon. "Not you," I say as Oliver starts to pass. He stops, confusion filling his flushed face. I hope he's embarrassed and didn't actually work up a sweat. Once the door closes behind the last stragglers, I make my way to the center of the mat. "Come here." He drops his eyes to the floor and shuffles his way to me. _Definitely_ _embarrassed_. Tobias crosses his arms across his chest, his hands balled into tight fists. I can tell he doesn't like Oliver this close to me. Brody and Ana move to flank him, their stances matching. They stay a few feet away, giving me the privacy I need to talk to the troubled initiate.

"Tris?" Oliver murmurs, barely audible.

"Tell me, what was the result of your aptitude test?" I ask. I already know the answer to the question. When I told Ana I would talk to him, I carefully studied his file, looking for what I didn't know. I just want to know if he'll be honest with me.

"Why do you want to know that?" he timidly asks.

"Answer her question, initiate," Tobias growls. He really dislikes Al's doppelganger, and I don't blame him. There's something off about him.

"D-dauntless," he squeaks. I take a step forward and crowd his space. I know he's lying.

"Care to rethink your answer?" I ask. All color drains not only from his face but from his entire body too.

"A-amity," he whispers, lowering his eyes. I nearly fell off my desk chair when I read that his test revealed an aptitude for Amity. _Amity_. That explained his passiveness.

"What are you doing here? Why did you join Dauntless? You obviously have no real desire to be here. You don't work hard at _anything_. You throw your fights. You're apathetic to weapons training. If automatic cuts were made, you'd be first on our list. You are most definitely _not_ Dauntless material. So tell me. What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" He shrugs his shoulders, not meeting my eyes, and it pisses me off. "You can't even tell me what made you step up and drip your blood on the hot coals?" _Pathetic!_ "You do realize that if you don't put some effort into your training that you will be factionless at the end of phase one. There is no place in Dauntless for weakness." This seems to spark something in Oliver.

"I'll do better," he says, straightening his spine. "I'll prove it to you, Tris. Give me a chance to prove that I can do this, that I deserve a place here in Dauntless." I still wish I understood his motives for wanting to be here. I look over my shoulder at Tobias. He nods once.

"All right. Here's the deal, initiate," I say, purposely avoiding the use of his name. "You have to pass each weapon's test at 100% and you must also win each of your fights whether they're practice or scored. Brody and Ana will work with you one-on-one for one hour before regular training hours to ensure that you reach your goals. If you are one minute late, if you fail one test, or if you don't give your all you might as well pack your bags. You've been given more chances to straighten up than anyone in the history of this faction." Okay. That might be an exaggeration. "I hope you appreciate this chance we're giving you."

"I do, Tris," he says. "I really do."

"Go," Tobias growls, pointing toward the door. We watch him hurry to the door them disappear into the hallway.

"An hour a day?" Brody asks as I approach them. He doesn't look mad but I can tell that he's not entirely happy with the situation either.

"I'm sorry, guys," I say. "That part of the bargain just came to me out of the blue. I know it's not something we discussed beforehand."

"But I like it," Tobias says. He puts his arm around me, and I snuggle into his side, once again feeling the fatigue that's been plaguing me since my talk with Christina.

"He's our responsibility so we're happy to do it," Ana says, giving her boyfriend some serious side eye. "Do you think it will make a difference?"

"Hopefully," I say not wanting to voice my doubts in front of them.

"Let's go home," Tobias says. "You look like you're about ready to fall asleep on your feet."

"I know," I say. "I can't figure out why I'm so exhausted." Tobias runs his hand over my small bump.

"I have an idea," he says.

"I guess you're right," I say. We leave the training room behind after another exceptionally long day. When we reach the path, we say goodbye to Ana and Brody and head toward home.

"Love? Tris? _Tris?_ "

"What?" I look up at Tobias, and I see worry in his eyes.

"You were a million miles away. Is there something bothering you?" he asks. "Christina and Will?"

"No. They're going to be fine. I just know it," I say. "I guess I was wondering why Oliver chose Dauntless when his aptitude test results were for Amity. You can't get further apart on the spectrum. I'd think he was a plant if he came from Erudite."

"I had the same thought when we first found out," he says.

"I could be all wrong but I think he has an agenda," I say.

"What kind of agenda?" he asks.

"I don't know," I murmur. "Depends on what he's actually doing here. You know, it bugs me that he wouldn't explain choosing Dauntless even though he's technically not required to do so."

"Yeah, that bothers me also," Tobias says.

"Do I sound paranoid?"

"No," he says. "Just think of the conspiracies and other crap we've had to deal with since you joined Dauntless: wars, stalkers, crazy initiates. Anyone who has experienced what we have would be cautious and possibly see bad guys around every corner."

"I don't want to live that way though," I say. "It's been so nice and calm around here the past two years. Why did it have to change?"

"There has been a lot of drama lately, hasn't there?"

"Yeah," I say as we reach our apartment. "Let's pray for a drama-free evening." Just as he opens the door, all hopes for a relaxing evening at home fade when I see Teagan make a header off the couch. I hold my breath hoping for the best but soon her wails fill the room. Tobias and I rush forward to make sure she's okay and that's when I see blood … everywhere.

"Get a towel, Tris," he worriedly says as he rushes to pick up our crying daughter. "Daddy's got you, Peanut." I hurry into the kitchen and get a couple towels, forgetting all of Dauntless' problems. I also grab a cold compress out of the freezer and rush back to Teagan. I hand a towel to Tobias and he presses it to the gash on her forehead. It seems like she hit the corner of the end table.

"Can I get you anything?" Bridget asks.

"Some wet paper towels please," I say. When she turns to go back into the kitchen I see Tyler and Tessa peeking around the corner. They both look worried for their little sister. "It's okay, guys. Teagan bumped her head on the table."

"Hers got a booboo?" Tessa asks.

"Yeah, she does," Tobias says. He moves the blood-soaked towel away so we can see her injury. "That doesn't look so good."

"I think we need to take her to the infirmary," I say as Bridget hands me the damp towels. "Can you stay with Tyler and Tessa?"

"Of course," she says. "I'll make supper. Tyler, Tessa, do you want to help me?" They love helping in the kitchen but they both look torn.

"Can we go with you, Mommy?" Tyler asks.

"No, buddy," Tobias says as I try to clean the blood off Teagan's face. Every time I wipe some away it's quickly replaced. "Mommy and Daddy need you to stay here with Bridget while we take care of Teagan."

"Okay, Daddy," he says, pouting. He turns to Bridget, resigned to his fate and mopes into the kitchen. Tessa stands staring at us then tears start running down her face.

"Hey, little one," I say. "It's okay. Why don't you help Bridget and Tyler with supper? You love helping in the kitchen."

"Otay," she says, sniffling.

"Teags will be just fine," I say. "You don't have to worry. Go with Bridget and Tyler." She gives me a small nod then disappears around the corner. "Is it still bleeding?" Tobias once again moves the towel away, and the wound continues to ooze.

"Can you give the infirmary a heads up that we're coming?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say as I get my phone out of my pocket.

"We'll be back as soon as possible," Tobias says. He carries her cradled in his arms like he did when she was a baby while I convey the emergency to the receptionist who answers the phone. The moment we burst through the infirmary doors we're immediately taken to the closest exam room, which has already been prepped for our arrival.

"Well hello, Teagan," Isobel says as she enters the room not two minutes later. "Did you fall and hit your head?" Teags nods, tears overflowing her big blue eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that. Can I look at you head?"

"No!" she emphatically states.

"Teags, Isobel needs to look at your head," Tobias says.

"Mama!" she says, holding her arms out to me.

"Come here, baby girl," I say taking her in my arms. I sit on the exam table and rub her back consolingly. "We need to check your head to see if it's still bleeding, okay? Can you be Mommy and Daddy's big girl?"

"I big giwl?" she asks.

"You sure are," I say.

"And getting bigger and braver every day," Tobias adds.

"'Kay," she says. I feel so bad for my baby. Her little body is trembling with fear and pain .

I hold out a hand in front of her and say, "Take my hand and squeeze it as hard as you want to." She grabs hold of my hand with both of hers and squeezes with all her might. "Oh! You're getting so strong. If you squeeze any tighter you might break my hand." This brings a smile to her face.

"Are you ready?" Isobel asks. She hesitantly nods once, her eyes on me.

"Can you look at Isobel, Peanut?" I ask.

"No wanna," she pouts, hiding her face in my chest.

"How about I stand next to her and you can look at Daddy?" Tobias says. She peeks up at him and his smile coaxes her out completely. "That's a good girl."

"I'm going to clean around the wound," Isobel says, "but I'm not going to touch it yet." Teags tenses but she doesn't move.

"You're being such a big girl right now, Peanut," I say.

"I big giwl," she repeats. I hold her tight while Isobel cleans all the blood off her face.

"It looks like the bleeding has stopped," she says. "I'm going to look before I touch. Is that okay, Teags?" She looks up at me, and I encourage her with a smile and a nod.

"'Kay," she says. I watch as Isobel tenderly examines the area around the gash.

"Good news," she says. "Head wounds bleed a lot but it's not as bad as it seems. It doesn't need stiches. I can close it with a few butterfly closures." Teags perks up at this and I'm sure it is because butterflies were mentioned. Now to break her heart.

"It's a type of band-aid, Teags," I say and immediately her face falls.

"Do you like butterflies?" Isobel asks, catching on to the problem.

"Mm-hm," she says.

"Well I think I have something right over here that will make your day." Isobel goes to a cabinet in the corner of the room and returns with a little stuffed butterfly.

"Tanks!" Teags says, reaching up and taking the toy.

"That was nice of you," I say once she has the wound cleaned and closed, which takes her no time at all.

"Every sick child needs a reason to smile," she says. "I'm glad I could help."

"You ready to go home, Peanut?" Tobias asks. He holds his arms out to her, and she immediately goes to him, obviously feeling better.

"Don't get the bandages wet, come back in five to seven days to have the wound looked at, I'll leave it up to you to make an appointment, and you can give her children's acetaminophen if she complains of pain," Isobel explains before letting us leave.

"So, what do you want for supper tonight, Teags?" I ask.

"Poni pitsa peas," she says.

"Pepperoni pizza sounds like a good choice," Tobias says. "How about some ice cream for dessert?"

"Chokit?"

"I know I could go for some chocolate," I say.

"Alright," Tobias says. "Pepperoni pizza and chocolate ice cream for dessert. How about you two head home and I'll stop by the store to pick up what we need?"

"Mama, hold peas," Teags says, holding her arms out to me.

"Come here," I say taking her from her father. "Could you get me some ginger ale, too? My stomach is feeling a little queasy."

"Of course," he says. "Do we need anything else?"

"I can't think of anything," I say.

"I'll be home soon," he says, leaning over and gently touching his lips to mine.

"No kiss," Teags indignantly says.

"Do you want a kiss?" Tobias asks her.

"No!" she huffs.

"You don't want Daddy to kiss you?" I ask her, surprised. She loves kisses from her daddy.

"You're making me sad, Peanut," he says with an exaggerated pouty face.

"'Kay," she says, relenting. She puckers up and leans over, giving him a sloppy smack on the side of his lips. She giggles, presses her little fingers to his cheeks, and kisses him again. "Lub 'ou, Dadda."

"I love you, too," he says then continues under his breath just loud enough for me to hear, "more than you will ever know." I smile warmly at him and he kisses my temple. "Go. Get her home. I'll be right behind you with supper."

"Take your time," I say. "We'll be waiting for you. We love you."

"I love you both," he says, turning into the commissary entrance.

"How is your head?" I ask Teags when we are almost home.

"It huwts," she says, raising her hand to touch the bandages.

"You better not touch it," I say. "You might make it hurt worse. I'll get you some medicine when we get home. How does that sound?"

"I need now," she says.

"I don't have any now," I say.

"'Kay," she sighs. She wraps her arms, stuffed animal and all, around my neck and lays her head on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

"No. I gotsta boo-boo."

"Do you like your new toy?" I ask her, trying to get her mind off her head.

"Lub it," she says then she kisses the butterfly.

"It was very nice of Isobel to give it to you," I say.

"Yeah," she says. "She nice."

"Yes, she is," I say. I dig my keys out of my pocket and open the door, surprised to find Tyler and Tessa patiently sitting in the, entry way, staring at the door. "Hi guys."

"Hi," Tyler says, jumping up. "Is Teags okay?"

"I 'kay, Ty-Ty," she says.

"Where Dadda?" Tessa asks, looking forlornly at the door.

"He stopped to get supper," I say.

"Poni pitsa," Teags says.

"Yeah! Pizza!" Tessa squeals.

"And chocolate ice cream for dessert," I say.

"Is that new?" Tessa suddenly asks, eyeing Teagan's butterfly.

"She got that for being brave at the doctor's office," I say hoping that it doesn't cause too much jealousy. What one girl has the other always wants.

"See!" Teags says, holding the stuffed animal out so her sister can examine it.

"Ooooh! That cool," she says then she looks up at me. "I want one." I knew it.

"No, little one, I'm sorry but you can't have one," I say. "Your sister was _really_ scared and this helped her be brave."

"I'm always brave," Tyler says matter-of-factly.

"Is that right?" I ask with a chuckle and he nods. "Okay. How about we move away from the door and set the table for supper? Daddy should be home soon." I sit Teags on her feet and my three hellions start to run toward the kitchen. "Walk!" They stop in their tracks and look back at me. "I don't want to have to take any of you to the infirmary again tonight."

"Sorry, Mommy," Tyler says and Tessa and Teags add, "Yeah!"

"Hi, Bridget," I say when we round the corner into the kitchen. She's emptying the last of the clean dishes from the dishwasher.

"Oh, Teags! Your poor head," she says, examining her wound. "I'm sorry you fell off the couch but I'm glad your mommy and daddy were here for you."

"It wasn't exactly how I planned to start my evening off but I'm glad we had just gotten home."

"The laundry has been done and put away. I also ran the dishwasher and the dishes have been put away. The window washers stopped by today. I'll do the inside tomorrow when the kids take their naps. Also, Gunner left this note for you." She taps on the plain white envelope on the island.

"You do so much for us," I say. "I can't thank you enough."

"I enjoy my work, Tris," she says. "You don't have to thank me but it is nice to hear." She smiles bashfully. "Well, if you don't need me anymore I think I will head home for the night," she says.

"We're fine. Thanks for staying late with Tyler and Tessa and thanks again for everything you do around here. I'd be lost without you," I say. "Say goodnight to Bridget, guys." They gather round her feet and hug her legs. She bends and gives each one a tender kiss to the top of the head.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," she say and they say goodbye in stereo, speaking at once.

"Goodnight, Bridget," I say, following her to the entry way.

"Goodnight, Tris," she says. Just as she goes to open the front door, Tobias walks in. "Oh my!"

"I'm sorry, Bridget," he says with a chuckle, juggling the pizza and grocery bags to put his keys away. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You just startled me a little is all, Four," she says, her hand over her heart. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight," he says, securing the door behind her.

"Hi, Daddy," Tyler says. "Do you need help?"

"Here, you take the pizza and put it on the table," Tobias says. "Thank you." Tyler beams as he carefully takes the box that's nearly as large as he is from his father and slowly makes his way into the kitchen. I trail closely behind him, making sure our supper doesn't end up on the floor. When Tobias enters the kitchen, the girls are circling his feet trying to _help_ him with the bags.

"Careful, girls," I say. "Let Daddy put the bags down."

"I help," Tessa says. "Peas!"

"Yeah," Teags says.

"We didn't set the table yet," I say, getting paper plates out of the pantry. "Here, girls. You can help me." The excitedly leave Tobias and join me at the table. I supervise as first they set plates at each setting, then forks, napkins, and glasses.

"I got some root beer," Tobias whispers as he passes me.

"That sounds good," I say. "Who wants root beer?" Three eager hands immediately go up. "I'm not sure you got enough, Tobias."

"Don't worry. There's another two liter in the refrigerator. I was going to get a gallon but they were out."

"This is a nice treat," I say. "Thank you." He grazes his finger along my jawline and tilts my head back. His lips gently brush against mine, heating my blood to near boiling. Damn hormones! A simple chaste peck shouldn't garner such a reaction in my body.

"Careful, love," he warns, reading either my expression or my suddenly dirty thoughts. "We have an audience." I look down and find three sets of blue eyes staring intently at me.

"I'm hungry, Mommy," Tyler says, looking down at the box in front of him and then back up at me. "Can I give the pizza out?"

"If you be careful," I say. "It might still be hot."

"I'm sure it's fine," Tobias says. "It's been 10 minutes since I picked it up." Tyler lifts the box and apprehensively touches the first slice. Finding it not too hot he serves himself first, even taking a bite, then gives a slice to Teags and then Tessa. They dig in while he puts a slice on Tobias' and my plate.

"So, did you guys have a nice day at the park with Liam?" I ask. Tobias frowns as Teags recounts every minute of her afternoon with her "boyfriend." I try not to laugh as he grumbles under his breath. His view of little Liam is so skewed.

"Mama, we watch fishy movie?" Teags asks when she finishes her second slice of pizza. Going to the infirmary must have worked up an appetite.

"Nemo or Dory?" I ask.

"Meemo," she says.

"I don't see why not," I say. "Let's get your jammies on first though."

"Can I play in my room?" Tyler asks.

"Of course," Tobias says. "Put your pajamas on, too, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," he says. "And thanks."

"Come on girls," I say. They each hold out their hands and we make our way upstairs into the nursery, which reminds me I have to read the note from Gunner. The girls' room should be done soon and I for one cannot wait to see it. I dig out matching short and cami outfits that have little fishy all over them and help the girls into them after putting them in pull-ups for the night. "You go down and get ready for the movie. I'll be down in just a few minutes." Once the girls are safely on the first landing, I go into Tyler's room. He's up in his treehouse with a flashlight. "What are you doing?"

"Making shadows on the wall," he excitedly says. "See!" He points at the wall at what looks like a bunny.

"How did you learn that?" I ask. "And where did you get the flashlight?"

"Daddy show me," he proudly says. "That night when it was just him and me. He told me it was something he did when he was little." Hhm. I never knew this. I wonder why Tobias never shared this with me.

"Well, that's pretty amazing," I say. "Are you sure you don't want to watch the movie?"

"No, I playing," he says then yawns widely. It wouldn't be surprised if he falls asleep in that little alcove. He's done it before.

"All right," I say. "If you change your mind, you can always join us. I love you, buddy."

"I love you too, Mommy," he says then adds just as I'm walking out the door, "to the moon and back."

"To the moon and back, Tyler Aaron." He grins widely then goes back to his shadow puppets.

"Are you weady, Mama?" Tessa asks when I walk into the living room with Gunner's note in my hand. "We waitin' for you."

"Awe that was sweet of you," I say. "I'm definitely ready." I set Gunner's note on the end table and snuggle in beside Tobias. The girls climb up onto our laps and within half an hour they are both out.

"Should we take them to bed?" he asks.

"We might as well," I say. "I bet Tyler is already asleep, too. They must have played hard today." We easily get the girls into bed without waking them then we check on Tyler. Just as I expected he is sound asleep in his treehouse. Tobias carefully gets him out, and I tuck him in. He only grumbles a little, which makes me smile. He sounds just like his father. "We should have Bridget take them to the park everyday if it makes bedtime go this smoothly. And speaking of Bridget, I think we need to give her a raise."

"What brought this on?" he asks.

"Let's talk downstairs," I say, kissing Tyler's forehead. "Sleep tight, buddy."

"So, do you want to finish the movie?" Tobias asks with a glint in his eyes as we hit the stairs.

"What if I said yes?"

"We'd finish watching Meemo," he says so sincerely.

"Meemo," I murmur under my breath.

"So, about this raise," he says after we sit on the couch, the movie off and forgotten. My feet are in his lap, and he's rubbing them.

"She does more than I do to keep this house in order. If it weren't for her, none of our clothes or dishes would ever be clean. She actually told me that she is going to do the windows tomorrow when the kids are napping. Hell, all I want to do when the kids are asleep is take a nap myself. I'm convinced our house would fall apart without her. She's not just the nanny. She's our housekeeper, too. And what are we going to do when we have two more kids? Is she going to be able to handle it? Hell, are we going to be able to handle it?" I toss my head back until it's resting on the cushions and groan, whether it's from frustration or the amazing foot rub I don't know.

"You are a busy woman, Tris," he says. "You have three children, a fulltime job, and a very demanding husband." I pick my head up and narrow my eyes at him. What is he talking about?

"Demanding?"

"Yes, demanding. And maybe a little needy, too," he says, trying to keep a straight face.

"Demanding _and_ needy." I can't help but chuckle. "That's a dangerous combination."

"Very dangerous."

"What are we going to do about it?" I huskily ask.

"I can think of a thing or two," he says.

"I bet you can, baby," I say. "Well, take me to bed then, Tobias."

"You don't have to tell me twice," he says as he sweeps me up into his arms and rushes us up the stairs.


	46. Chapter 46

"What are you thinking about, love?" Tobias asks. I've been lying in his arms since my bladder woke me nearly an hour ago. He's slowly grazing his fingertips up and down my bare upper arm.

"Oh, just something Christina said to me yesterday," I say with a sigh.

"What's that?" he asks.

"That Will was complaining about sex becoming complacent."

"He said almost the same thing to us first thing yesterday morning," he says, his fingers coming to a stop. "What about it?"

"Has _our_ lovemaking ever gotten stale or boring for you?" I softly ask, although I'm not sure I want to know if his answer is yes. I tilt my head back and look at him.

"Stale or boring?" He shakes his head. "I'll admit it has gotten a bit … _routine_ at times but it's never once been boring or stale. I could make love to you in this bed, lights out, missionary style every night for the rest of our lives and I'd be content but I love playing our little games. I like changing things up once in a while. I like not knowing what's coming next." His blissful smile suddenly falls. "Have you ever felt that things have been stale or boring?"

"I was going to say sometimes we fall into a rut," I say. "It's easy to put _us_ on the back burner with a faction to run and three kids to raise."

"You're right about that," he says. "Unfortunately, I think it happens to all relationships at one time or another."

"I don't want to become a statistic, Tobias?"

"That will never happen to us, Tris," he says. "Firstly, we love each other entirely too much."

"Too much, huh?"

"I'm crazy about you," he says. "You know that."

"I know," I say.

"And secondly, we would never allow ourselves to become a statistic. We both like sex."

"Is that right?"

"Damn straight," he says. "If I didn't have to do trivial things like eat or work or wear clothes I would spend all my time naked with you in this bed … or in the shower … or on the kitchen counters."

"I get it. I get it," I say with a giggle. "You are very horny man."

"I take exception to that," he soberly says. "No other woman has ever aroused me, _ever_. So, I wouldn't classify myself as a horny man. A horny husband, maybe." I laugh again after realizing he wasn't being serious.

"I enjoyed myself last night," I say.

"I did too, love," he says, his voice suddenly gruff and gravely with desire. "I love you."

"I love you," I say. "How about we enjoy each other again right now?"

"Tris, love," he growls. "The kids will be up soon." I glance at the clock.

"We have time, Tobias." I slide my hand down his body and wrap my fist around his burgeoning erection. "I want you. I know you want me, too. Last night we took things nice and slow … _twice_. This morning we can have a quickie. I'll show you a good time, Mr. Eaton." Hesitation and desire mingle on his face. "Don't make me beg," I pout.

"Oh, Mrs. Eaton, as much as I _love_ hearing you beg I think a quickie can be arranged." He gently slips a finger inside me then circles my nubbin with his thumb. "You're already wet for me."

"I always am," I gasp as he changes up his touch, making it rougher just the way I like it.

"How about we move this to the shower then we can clean up after we get dirty?" The glint in his eyes matches the desire dripping from his voice.

"But we're already comfortable here," I moan as we continue with our ministrations. "How am I supposed to move if you keep doing that?"

"I could ask you the same thing." I grip his length harder and speed my pumping. "If you don't stop that you're going to make me come."

"Do you really want me to stop?"

"I want to be inside you when I come." I release him as he removes his fingers from my moist core. We move at once, me spreading my legs in a wide, welcoming manner and him entering me in one long, steady thrust. "Oh, Tris," he moans into my neck, his hot breath cooling on my clammy skin. "You feel so good."

"You feel better." He pulls back and stares down at me.

"I love you, Beatrice Grace Eaton. You are my heart and soul, my better half. You make each day worth facing. You and our kids. Now let me show you how I feel about you." Tears slowly fill my eyes throughout his speech.

"I know how much you love me, Tobias Eaton, but I'll be glad to let you show me again," I say as I caress his stubble-laden face. "Make love to me."

He leans down and softly presses his lips to mine as he rocks his hips forward, bringing him fully home bringing a small gasp from me. We keep the pace nice and slow, totally forgetting about making it quick. When we both feel the need to breathe, we break our kiss and stare into each other's eyes as we let our bodies thoroughly love each other.

"You are so big," I pant, our mouths lip to lip once again.

"You're perfect," he huffs between labored gasps. I tightly wrap one arm around his neck while I slide my other hand down to grasp his well-muscled ass. We kiss passionately, our tongues fighting for dominance, as our bodies hurriedly move us toward a shared release.

"I love you so much," I moan as I hook my heels around his back, changing the angle of his thrusts.

"I love you more." He kisses his way to the little spot beneath my ear and gently sucks on it, sending an electric jolt to where we are joined.

"Not possible, baby," I pant. I answer each of his powerful thrusts with one of my own but my release is just out of reach. "Harder, baby. _Harder_."

"Anything, love," he grunts. He leverages himself on his forearms and pounds into me, giving me exactly what I need.

" _Oh_ , _God!_ I'm _so_ close. Make me come, baby." Before all the words leave my mouth, he reaches between us and firmly circles my aching bundle of nerves with the pad of his thumb. Immediately my whole body tenses. Blinding pleasure shoots from my core, makes my eyes roll back in my head, my toes curl, and my womanhood violently spasm around Tobias' thrusting length.

As I start to come down from my high, my stomach roils. I breathe through my nose as I try to catch Tobias' attention but he's chasing his own release and I fail miserably. Knowing that I have a terrible problem I yell, "Get _off_ of me!" and push on his chest as hard as I can. He rolls off me, a puzzled and somewhat hurt look on his face, and I roll the other way just in time to vomit all over the floor.

"Shit! Tris!" Tobias jumps out of bed and momentarily stares at the mess on the floor. "Oh, love." He gathers my loose hair into a low ponytail with one hand and gently rubs my back with the other until the dry heaves subside.

"I'm so sorry," I moan. "That came on so fast."

"I was wondering why in the hell you were yelling at me to get off you." I glance down and immediately feel guilty.

"You didn't finish," I quietly say.

"Hey, don't you dare worry about that," he says. "We need to get you cleaned up."

"And this mess. Ugh!" I look at the floor and start to gag.

"You go to the bathroom. I'll clean this up," he says.

"Okay," I say. "We'll finish what we started in the shower."

"Tris, I'm fine," he firmly says. I start to argue but between the sight and smell, my stomach starts churning again.

"I'm going," I say, covering my mouth and running from the bedroom. I'm on my hands and knees when Tobias comes into the bathroom. I have no idea how much time has passed.

"Oh, love." The guilt is audible in his voice. He kneels beside me and rubs my back again.

"I don't feel very well, Tobias," I mutter into the toilet.

"What can I do to help?"

"I need some ginger cookies and a glass of ginger ale," I say.

"Stay here," he says. "I'll be right back."

"I'm not going anywhere." I'm not sure my legs would carry me if I tried. I rest my head on my folded arms and savor the cool feel of the porcelain tile beneath me. "I thought the morning sickness should be gone by now," I say when I hear movement behind me.

"Mommy?" _Oh, hell!_

"Tyler, honey, Mommy's not feeling very well. Can you go back to your room and play?"

"I'll go get Daddy," he excitedly says. I hear his little feet carrying him away before I can tell him that isn't necessary. My poor boy. He didn't need to see me naked on the bathroom floor, grasping the toilet.

"You go to your room or better yet go to the nursery and keep Tessa and Teags company until I come and get you," I hear Tobias say a few moments later.

"Okay, Daddy," Tyler says but I hear the worry in his voice.

"Here you go, love," Tobias says as he hands me a cookie and glass of ale. "That was embarrassing being caught in the kitchen without a stitch of clothes on. Thank God I'm not hard anymore. He's too young to explain that to."

"Not really," I say.

"What?"

"Little boys get erections, too," I say as I nibble on the cookie. "He asked me about it once, and I told him it was a normal part of being a boy. He shrugged and hasn't mentioned it since." _Thank goodness._

"You never told me that," he says.

"I guess it slipped my mind," I say. "I'm glad he accepted my answer or I would have immediately turned to you."

"It sounds like you handled it well."

"I think I did okay," I say. "Neither of us freaked out so that was a good thing. You are going to talk to him about sex though."

"I know," he says. "And you get to talk to the girls."

"Can we postpone those conversations for the next 30 years or so?"

"As far as I'm concerned we can. No boy is ever going to touch one of my girls. But you already know that," he says. "Are you feeling better?"

"Well, I probably can get up off the floor now but this might be a sick day for me. I'm still nauseated. Of course, I haven't taken the anti-nausea meds yet so they might help."

"Stay home, love," he says. "There's nothing pressing on the docket. The kids would love it."

"I would love it," I murmur, breathing through another wave of nausea. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," he says. "Now let's get you cleaned up."

"What about the kids?"

"Tyler is playing with the girls. We'll take a shower then I'll get them ready for the day and breakfast. You need to lie down."

"I'm not going to argue, Tobias," I say. "I'm really feeling under the weather."

He gently helps me up off the floor and within 10 minutes, I'm drying my hair. While we were in the shower I tried to help him finish what we started but he wouldn't hear of it. As a matter of fact, he got mad when I suggested it. I know it sounds crazy that I want sex when I'm feeling the way I do but my crazy, hormone-riddled body always wants sex right now. I could have pouted but I graciously accepted his no. I guess I'm still guilty for not only coming when he didn't but then pushing him away while we were making love and hurling all over the floor and leaving it for him to clean up. The only way it would be worse is if he wouldn't have moved in time and I'd have thrown up on him. I shudder at the thought.

"Are you better, Mommy?" I hear Tyler ask when I shut off the hair dryer. I turn around and he's shyly standing in the doorway.

"A little," I say.

"Is it the babies?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "One of these days I won't have morning sickness anymore."

"Promise?" he asks so hopefully.

"Most definitely. Even if the morning sickness lasts until the babies are born," Dear God, No! I shudder at the thought, "it will go away once they're here."

"Is it a long time away? Until my brothers are here?" _So optimistic_.

"Could be sisters, too, you know," I say causing him to frown. "January." The frown remains on his face indicating he has no idea what that means. "Well let's see. This is July so the babies will be here in another six months."

"That's a lot of sleeps," he states matter-of-factly.

"Yes, it is," I say.

"Do you want breakfast?" he asks, changing the subject so quickly that it nearly causes me whiplash. "Daddy sended me."

"Sent," I correct. "I don't think so but I will sit with you, Daddy, and your sisters."

"Okay!" he excitedly says. He takes my hand but I stop him before we leave the bathroom.

"Were you scared when you found mommy on the floor this morning?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry," I say, hugging him tightly.

"It's okay," he says. "You didn't mean it."

"No, I didn't."

"Okay. I'm hungry. Let's go." Well, he got over that rather quickly. I'm not sure how I feel about that. "Come on, Mommy!" He pulls me out of the bathroom and down the stairs.

"Mama!" Tessa and Teags call out when they see me.

"Good morning, girls," I say then press a kiss to the top if each of their heads. "How's your head, Teags?"

"Huwt," she pouts, pointing a finger at it. I immediately lean over and gently kiss her forehead. "Is that better?"

"Yeah," she says with a brilliant smile.

"That's what you said when I kissed it too, you little stinker," Tobias says.

"Is that right?" I ask her. She grins and nods. "You are a little stinker." She laughs hysterically when I tickle her.

"Do you want breakfast, Tris?" Tobias asks.

"No, her gonna sit with us," Tyler says, getting up into his chair.

"Actually, I think I'll have a slice of toast."

"You change your mind!" Tyler says excitedly. "All right!"

"All right," Tobias repeats, amusement written all over his face. "Pancakes for everyone else?"

"Yeah!" they all exclaim as one. _Mm. Pancakes_.

"Actually, I would like a pancake," I say, suddenly famished.

"Are you sure?" he asks, obviously worried.

"I hope I'm making the right decision but yes," I say. "Would you like some help?" I go to get up but the look on his face freezes me.

"I've got this," he says. "You sit and relax." I plop back into my chair feeling like a chastised toddler. Seeing my reaction, he comes over and glides his lips up my neck until they are pressed against my ear. "No pouting, love. I just want what's best for you." He gives me a quick peck on my mouth then goes into the kitchen.

"Guess what, guys?" I ask gaining my kids' undivided attention.

"What?" Tyler asks.

"I'm staying home with you today," I say.

"You awe?" Tessa asks, her eyes wide then a brilliant smile dawns on her face.

"Yeah!" Teags says, clapping her hands. Tyler is the only one who doesn't look entirely happy by this news.

"What's wrong, buddy?" I ask.

"Is it cause you sick?" He's very perceptive. His question stops Tessa and Teags' celebration.

"You sick?" Tessa asks.

"I'm not feeling very well this morning, little one."

"It's the babies. Again." Tyler sounds exasperated. I really hope he doesn't hold it against them once they're born. He actually might if it turns out they are both girls.

"Bad bebes," Teags says.

"We've talked about this," Tobias says from the kitchen. "It's not the babies fault. It's just a normal part of when Mommy's have babies."

"I make 'ou sick?" Teags asks.

"You sure did," I say, caressing her frowny little face. "But I wouldn't change anything about it."

"Why?" she asks.

"Because I got you," I say. A chorus of ooh's and ah's erupt around the table.

"Lub 'ou, Mama," she says.

"I love you, too, Teags," I say. "And I love you, Tessa and Tyler." I lovingly rest my hand on my small bump, which is getting larger each and every day. "I may not like feeling this way but I love Button and Bean, too. I love all of you very much."

"Pancakes are ready," Tobias says, interrupting our lovefest. He sets a lone pancake down in front of me and asks, "What about me?"

"What about you?" I frown in confusion.

"Do you love me?" he asks, a twinkle in his eye.

"Do you even have to ask?" I cup his cheek and he leans in for a kiss. Before his lips meet mine, we hear groans and giggles but we don't let that stop us. We keep it chaste but I pour every ounce of love I have for him into it anyway. He breaks away but then presses his lips to mine again, just once.

"I love you, beautiful," he says.

"I love you, too, handsome."

We have a nice leisurely breakfast, chatting about this and that. The girls tell us all about going to the park the day before, and Tyler talks about swinging so high he almost touched the sky. I chuckle when Tobias cringes each time Teags mentions Liam's name. I swear that one day those two will get married but I better not mention that if I don't want him to lock her away in a tower some place in the city. I could actually see him doing that just to keep her away from Liam.

"All right, guys," Tobias says shortly after Bridget arrives for the day. "I have to go to work. I want you three to do me a favor." They all nod. "Take care of Mommy for me." _Ah!_

"We will," Tyler says. "I promise."

"We pwomise, too," Tessa says. "Wight, Teags?"

"Wight!"

"That's my kids," Tobias proudly says. "I'll check in at lunch. You all be good for Mommy and Bridget. I love you." He passes out hugs and kisses then turns to me. "Are you okay?"

"Are you?" I ask. He immediately knows what I'm talking about.

"I'm fine," he says. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about it."

"I'm sorry," I say. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my cheek above his heart. "I love you so much." He kisses the top of my head.

"Take it easy, Tris," he says. "You need your rest. I know the kids are excited about you staying home but try to get some sleep. They'll understand."

"I will, Tobias," I say as I release him. I slide my hand into his and lead him to the door. I go up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. I open my mouth and invite his tongue in. He doesn't disappoint. He tastes every inch of my mouth and I return the favor.

"Mm. Maple syrup," he says as he breaks away. "I've really got to go. By the way, I love you, too. More than anything." He kisses my forehead then as he turns to walk away I see it.

"I'll be right back," I yell out into the apartment then I follow after him. "Tobias!" He stops at the bottom of the stairs. I fly down them and into his arms. He effortlessly catches me

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"I want you to stop being so selfless," I say. My hand slips between us, and I run my fingers over the hard bulge in his pants. "You're hard. Why should you have to start your day off this way?"

"Come with me," he says. This time he takes my hand and he leads me into his office. Once the door closes, he turns back to me, his Four mask in place. I sigh. "I love you. I only want what's best for you. We were making love this morning and you got sick. _Sick_ , Tris. You puked all over the floor. Honestly, that should have been enough to kill the mood but for some reason every time I look at you all can think is that I didn't get my rocks off. Do you know how that makes me feel? Like a miserable excuse for a human being. My pregnant wife isn't feeling well and all I want to do is stick my dick inside of her."

"Baby."

"Don't _baby_ me, Tris," he scolds. "The way I'm feeling right now isn't right."

"Why isn't it?" I honestly ask. "I can remember a few times of you finishing before I got to come, and it's not a pleasant feeling. I know how frustrating it can be."

"You didn't not come because I puked all over the place."

"Why are you so mad at me?" I ask, my voice little.

" _Fuck_ ," he mutters under his breath. "Come here." He pulls me into his arms and wraps me in his strong, loving embrace. "I'm not mad at you. I'm frustrated on many levels. Sexually and intellectually among other. I'm mad at myself and every time I get hard and you offer to help me with it, it makes me feel like a first-class jerk. I care too much about you to objectify you. You're not my sex toy or my plaything. You are my partner, my inspiration, my joy, my life, my _wife_. So, until you are no longer feeling nauseated, we are NOT having sex. You got that?" I feel a full pout coming on and tears irrationally fill my eyes but I refuse to let them fall. He closes his eyes and sighs. "I just made you feel like I don't want you, didn't I?" He opens his eyes and I stare up at him. "Tris?" I nod. "That's not what I intended to do."

"Damn hormones," I mutter under my breath.

"I second that," he says. He leads me to the couch and pulls me down onto his lap. He holds me close, and we sit in silence for a long time. Soon I feel my eyelids becoming heavy and sleep carries me away.


	47. Chapter 47

"Sleep tight," I hear Tobias softly say against my ear but I don't think anything about it until I open my eyes and realize I'm tucked in our bed. I rollover and look at the clock, surprised to see that it's nearly noon. I stretch while yawning widely but lie in bed for a few more minutes, taking in how I feel and realize that even though the nausea is gone I'm still extremely tired. Then my stomach growls, loudly. I guess one pancake after the morning I had wasn't enough. I roll out of bed and use the toilet then go down stairs in search of my brood.

The apartment is quiet … too quiet. I understand why when I find Bridget's note saying she took the kids to the swimming pool to let me rest. I turn the stereo on low for some much-needed background noise then rummage through the refrigerator in search of something quick to eat. I'm disappointed when I come up empty handed. I move to the cupboards and realize that I haven't went to the commissary for a stock up trip in weeks.

"Great," I mutter under my breath. Just as I pull my phone out to call Tobias, the front door opens. When I step into the living room, a mouthwatering aroma smacks me in the face. "Wow! What's that?" My handsome husband is carrying a covered casserole dish.

"Stella heard you weren't feeling very well today and made you some chicken and noodles with mashed potatoes," he says. "She said this was her go-to meal when she had bad morning sickness with the twins."

"That was very nice of her," I say just as my stomach growls again.

"It sounds like you need this," he chuckles, holding up the dish.

"You have no idea," I say, patting my tummy.

"Why don't you sit down and I'll heat you up a plate."

"Thank you, baby," I say as I take a seat at the island. "I was just looking through the fridge and cupboards. I really need to get groceries."

"If you make me a list before I leave, I'll do that before I come home," he says.

"That's not necessary," I say.

"I'll already be in the Pit," he says. "I have a meeting in the armory at 3:30. They have some new weapon designs they want to debut."

"Is Paco showing off again?" I giggle. "There's a man who needs a new hobby."

"I don't think you're wrong," he says with a deep sigh, "but I'm not sure I'd say that to his face."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it," I say as a white square catches my attention. "I forgot about this." I reach for Gunner's note and tear into it.

"What's that?" he asks as he sets a plate full of yummy goodness in front of me.

"Thanks, baby. Gunner left a note with Bridget yesterday," I say. "She told us about it but I never even thought to look after all the excitement with Teags." I rip into the envelope and take in his decorative scroll. "He makes my handwriting look like chicken scratch. No wonder me makes a living with his art. He says the girls' room will be finished the end of next week. I'm so excited."

"So soon?"

"I'm kind of surprised myself. I thought the mural would take longer," I say. "Can you believe it? Next week our girls will be in their own room in toddler beds. They're not babies anymore."

"I'm not sure I'm ready for that," he says.

"I'm not entirely ready for it either," I say. "Hell, I'm not sure they're ready for this step, especially Teags. She isn't even 2 yet. Are we rushing things?"

"I don't think so. I think both Tessa and Teags are ready for this change," he says. "It's us who may not be entirely ready."

"You're right about that," I say as I push my plate away.

"You didn't eat very much," he says.

"It was really good but I'm starting to get nauseated again," I say. "Remind me to call Stella and thank her for lunch. She never ceases to amaze me. The woman has six kids and took the time to make me lunch." I shake my head. "I wish I had that much energy."

"I doubt she had that much energy when she was pregnant with Nash and Nya," he says.

"You're probably right about that," I say. "Button and Bean are kicking my ass today. I can barely keep my eyes open. And speaking of sleep, thank you for carrying me home. I assume you carried me home. The last thing I truly remember was snuggling in your office. The next thing I know I was in bed."

"That must have been quite a shock," he says.

"Confusing is more like it," I say. "It was almost noon. So much for spending the morning with the kids."

"Bridget asked if she could take them somewhere because they wanted to wake you up," Tobias says. "She was having a hard time keeping them away from our room."

"That sounds like them," I say. "They were expecting to spend some extra time with me and I'm sure it was a disappointment when first I took off after you and then when you brought me home, I was already asleep."

"I actually thought the girls were going to cry when they saw you were asleep," he says. "Tyler started pouting and wanted me to wake you immediately. They were all acting like they hadn't seen you in days."

"Ah. My babies," I say. "I hope I can stay awake long enough to spend some quality time with them."

"I better put these leftovers away," he says. "Are you sure you don't want anymore?"

"No, I better not," I say. "I'm comfortable right now. I don't want to push it."

"Well there's plenty left in case you get hungry later."

"Aren't you going to eat?" I ask, just now realizing I dined alone.

"I grabbed a sandwich in the cafeteria before I picked up your lunch from Stella," he says. "Apparently the pancakes weren't enough."

"Breakfast didn't stick with me either," I say. "Hey, do you have to get right back to work?"

"No," he says as he wipes the counter off.

"Will you sit with me for a while?" I ask.

"Of course," he says. I round the island and take his hand then lead him to the couch. I go to sit beside him but he surprises me when he pulls me into his lap. He wraps his arms around me and nuzzles my neck, giving me light kisses every now and then.

"Did you have a busy morning?" I ask, relaxing into his embrace.

"Not too bad," he say. "Shauna brought Lynn to talk to me."

"What about?" I ask.

"Their father approached her a couple days ago."

"Seriously?" I ask. "What did he want?"

"The same thing he wanted from Hector, information about Dauntless, me, and you," he says. "There was no mention of the kids this time, thankfully, but he did ask about Shauna, Will, and James."

"So, he wants to know about the inner workings of Dauntless?" I muse to myself. "What does a factionless, ex-Dauntless member presumed dead for many years get by investigating his former faction? I just don't get it."

"None of us do, love. I think that's what's most frustrating. We have absolutely _no_ idea what his endgame is," he says with a frustrated sigh. "I'm having Shauna go through his file to see if anything jumps out at her. We also talked about bringing her mother back in for questioning."

"Do you think that would do any good?" I ask, skeptical myself.

"I don't think she would talk unless compelled by truth serum," he says.

"What does Shauna think?" I ask.

"It's her mother. She knows she's difficult but she's hopeful that she will help. We decided to hold off on bringing her in," he says.

"I doubt she would help us anyway," I say. "She loathes us."

"My thoughts exactly," he says. "Also, Zeke is checking the backup surveillance footage compound and city-wide to see if we can locate where he's breaking into the compound and where he's staying. If we can intercept him sooner than later we can put an end to this … whatever the hell _this_ is."

"That's a really good idea," I say.

"I thought so, too," he says.

"I take it it was yours," I say with a chuckle.

"Unfortunately, I can't take credit. It was actually Zeke's idea. He's been thinking about how to end this situation because it's affecting Shauna."

"How is she doing?" I ask. "I feel like I've only seen her in passing since her father was identified, and she seemed fine each time."

"She's stressed to the max. Anxious. Moody. Short fused," he says.

"Sounds a lot like Christina," I say.

"I'm not sure I'd tell Shauna that," he says with a deep chuckle.

"Believe me, I hadn't planned on it," I say with a giggle. "Hey, did you ask Lynn why she didn't come to you right away?"

"Yeah, she was conflicted. He's her father. She wants him back in her life but his questions made her uncomfortable. Apparently, he didn't ask any personal questions, not even something simple like how have you been. That didn't sit well with Lynn. She said he basically interrogated her," he says. "Shauna told her that the next time he approaches her, she better tell her immediately. I encouraged her to comply with her sister's wishes."

"That's a very diplomatic statement."

"I'll admit I didn't say what I was thinking," he says.

"Which was?" I ask.

"What the hell were you thinking not notifying one of us immediately? You know the shit we're dealing with."

"Why didn't you?"

"If you'd have seen her face, you would have let it slide, too," he says. "I know what she's going through, love. Hell, what they're _all_ going through. Thinking that a parent is dead and finding out that they're very much alive and that they chose to leave you can destroy you if you let it. I'm sure she's not thinking straight. We both know Lynn very well. When has she ever shied away from confrontation?"

"Never," I say.

"Exactly," he says then he looks at his watch. "I should be getting back to work."

"Already?" Even though I'm surprised to see that it's after 1 p.m., I don't want him to leave just yet.

"I have a lot to do this afternoon before my meeting with Paco," he says.

"Give me a few more minutes," I say with a sigh as he gently runs his hand over my swelling abdomen. "That feels good."

"I'm worried about you, Tris," he says. "All three of you. I don't like that you're not feeling well."

"We're fine. You know that," I say as I run my hand over his. "Blood pressures are in the low normal range. There's no protein in my urine. The babies' heartbeats are strong. I won't ask you not to worry because that would be like asking you not to breathe but you need to take care of yourself for me. Worrying so much isn't good for _you_. When's the last time you had a physical?" He freezes for a moment then tightens his arms around me and brings his mouth to mine but I turn my head to avoid the kiss so he moves his lips to my neck. " _Tobias Eaton!_ You're trying to distract me."

"I just wanted to kiss my wife," he murmurs.

"Uh, _no_ ," I say. "I'm trying to have a serious conversation about _your_ health and you want to distract me with your sexy mouth. Shame on you."

"I'm sorry," he says, not sounding like he means it one bit. "You know I hate physicals."

"So do I but they're necessary," I say. "What if I were to say there will be no sex until you have a complete physical." His lips still on my jaw.

"I'd call Zander and schedule one right now," he gruffly says. "Isn't that blackmail, Mrs. Eaton."

"Call it what you want, Mr. Eaton," I say, holding my phone out to him.

"You're serious?" he incredulously asks.

"Yes, I am," I say, shaking the phone at him. "Call Zander if you ever want inside my body again."

"Not nice, _Tris_ _Eaton_. I believe that's using sex as a weapon," he says as he takes my phone. "Something we both vowed never to do."

"I'll feel bad about it once I know that you're completely healthy," I say. He calls the infirmary, and we're both surprised that Zander has an opening this afternoon.

"Yes, 4:30 is fine," he says into the phone. "I'll be there. Thank you." He hangs up and puts my phone on the end table. "Satisfied."

"Maybe," I say. "There is something I would like you to talk to him about."

"What's that?" he asks.

"Promise not to freak out?" I ask.

"Not a very good lead in, love," he says. "I think I'm freaking out a little."

"You are so full of it," I say when I see his grin. "I want you to ask about a vasectomy."

"Excuse me?" I try not to laugh but his shocked expression makes me giggle. "What the hell, Tris."

"Baby, I'm sorry. I know this isn't a laughing matter," I say. "Five kids, Tobias. We're going to have _five_ kids. I'm not even 20 yet. You have to admit that's kind of crazy. I was talking to Isobel at my last blood pressure check about what the best birth control methods were for after the twins. I asked about getting my tubes tied after the they come. We don't need another accidental pregnancy. Do you really want six kids or even more?" He shakes his head, his eyes slightly glazed over. I think my request has really thrown him.

"What did she say?" he asks.

"I'm too young," I say. "They don't like doing that procedure on a woman younger than 30. She gave me several reasons, which all made perfect sense but I still think a more permanent method of birth control will be best for us."

"So, you want me to have a vasectomy," he says. "I'm not sure I'm okay with that. I'm only 21."

"You want more kids in the future?"

"No, I don't," he says, "but I'm pretty partial to not having my _dick_ operated on either."

"A small human tried to work her way out of my vagina before they had to _cut_ _her_ _out,_ and you're worried about a little snip snip?"

"Yes, I am," he says. I can't help but roll my eyes at him.

"I'm not asking you to have the procedure done this afternoon," I say. "I just want you to ask Zander about it so we can discuss our options before the twins come." He stares into my eyes for the longest time, looking like he's battling slipping on his Four mask. _Is he really thinking about saying no?_ "Baby? Please?"

"Fine," he mutters.

"If you don't want to you don't have to," I say as I extract myself from his embrace. "I'll be right back." His odd behavior has triggered my oversensitive emotions, and I slip into the powder room. I splash some cold water on my cheeks and try to breathe through the lump in my throat. I will not cry over this. When I've gained my composure, I open the door to find Tobias standing there.

"I'm sorry I upset you," he says, opening his arms. I immediately go to him. He hugs me tight and I contentedly sigh into his chest.

"I'm sorry I'm so emotional right now," I say. "I'm serious. If you don't want…"

"I'll talk to him," he says. "There is nothing wrong with gathering information. You just threw me a little with that request. A vasectomy has never crossed my mind." I lean back and look up at him.

"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to but I think a permanent solution is the best way to go," I say. "I have every intention of talking with Zander about my options. I know my age is a factor but maybe he would make an exception. If not, that would only leave you. I just want to know what our options are."

"Is this why you wanted me to have a physical?" he asks.

"No," I say. "You aren't the only one who worries."

"I know," he says. He leans in and lightly presses his mouth to mine. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I murmur against his lips. Before we get carried away I hear the front door open.

"Mommy!" the kids say in unison when they see us.

"You awake!" Tessa says while Tyler asks, "Are you better?" Teags just stands there yawning.

"I'm really tired," I say. "I see someone else who is tired."

"Who?" Tyler asks, sounding genuinely concerned.

"Well, Teags looks like she's about ready to fall over," I say. "Tessa looks like she's not far behind."

"Did you guys have fun swimming?" Tobias asks.

"Yeah," Tyler says. "Zane was there and we played. Can he spend the night?"

"Maybe this weekend," I say. "We'll have to ask Stella and Zander."

"I asked him and he say yes," he says.

"You know he can't stay over on a week night," I say. "He has school tomorrow."

"Why wasn't he at school today?" he asks, a yawn escaping his lips.

"I really don't know," I say.

"Have you had lunch?" Tobias asks.

"We went to the cafeteria for pizza," Bridget says. "They had lunch with your friends. I don't know who had a better time, the kids or the adults."

"They love eating in the cafeteria," I say. "Let me guess, Uriah gave them cake."

"He let them split a small slice," she says.

"It could be worse," he says, chuckling as I grimace.

"How?" I ask.

"He could have given them each their own piece or more," he says. "He has a hard time saying no to them."

"And then I would have had to kill him," I say, shaking my head. The kids laugh reminding me that they are always listening even when we don't think they are.

"He knows better than to get them hopped up on sugar after that time he babysat for us," he says. I shake my head remembering how difficult it was to control them after their afternoon with Uncle Uriah. I threatened to kick him in the balls for every slice of cake he gave them. I've never seen him pale so quickly. I never did get an exact number out of him but I'm thinking it was approaching the double digits between the three kids. Needless to say, Uncle Uriah has not been allowed to babysit without Aunt Marlene with him to make sure he's acting like the adult. "I'll help you get them down."

"Do you guys want to lie down with Mommy?" I ask, already knowing what the answer will be.

"Yes," Tyler says as the girls simply nod. I think they are asleep on their feet.

"Bridget, can you grab Tyler?" I ask as I pick up Tessa and Tobias lifts Teagan.

"Of course," she says. It warms my heart how he lays his head on her shoulder when she lifts him into her arms. He loves her. All my kids do … thankfully. By the time we reach the bedroom, all the kids are out.

"Thanks, Bridget," Tobias says.

"You're welcome, Four," she says.

"Do you think you can do me a favor?" I ask, remembering the shopping. She nods. "I haven't been to the commissary for groceries in a while. You know what we usually have on hand. Could you do the shopping while we take a nap? I would really appreciate it. Four was going to do it but he has an appointment that he has to keep."

"I can do that," she says. "Is there anything special you would like to have for supper? I could put it in the oven for you."

"Your beef stew would be great," Tobias says. "That would be great. Thank you so much, Bridget. By the way, Tris and I are increasing your pay by 15% and once the twins arrive, we will up your pay by an additional 10%. We appreciate all you do for us and the children, and we want you to know that we don't look as you as an employee, you're family. If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you so much, Four, Tris," she says, obviously moved. "You really don't have to do that but I do appreciate it. I better get going." She ducks out of the room without looking back and I suspect the reason is that she is emotional over Tobias' little speech.

"Impressive, Mr. Eaton," I say.

"I hope that's okay," he says. "I know we never finished our discussion but I heard you."

"You sure did," I say.

"Do you think I gave her too much?" he says with a frown.

"Not at all," I say. "I'm a big softy so I probably would have given her 50%."

"You never know," he says. "Once the twins are born she may demand a pay increase because it's too much work for the money."

"I doubt she would demand anything," I say then yawn widely. "Definitely out of character."

"You need to get some rest." He kisses my forehead then kisses each of our kids.

"Please don't forget your appointment with Zander," I whisper. "Thank you for doing that for me."

"You blackmailed me, remember," he quietly says then an evil grin spreads across his face. "I think someone needs punished for that."

"Punished?" I scoff. "I don't think so."

"Yeah, punished," he says. "There are a few things running through my mind that I think we both would enjoy."

"That wouldn't be punishment then."

"You say that now," he says so low that I'm not sure he said anything at all. He leans over me and gently glides his knuckles back and forth across my jawline. "Feel better, love. I'll leave you some ginger ale and ginger cookies on the nightstand. Do you want anything else before I go back to work?"

"Just a kiss," I say. He lowers his lips to mine and kisses me lovingly. "Have a good afternoon, baby."

"You too, love."


	48. Chapter 48

The familiar buzz of my phone wakes me from a deep sleep. I try to pry my tired eyes open but I just can't do it, so I roll over and blindly feel around on the nightstand for the irritating offender. Once I have it in my hand, I switch it on. When I raise it to my ear, I can't help my frown. All I hear is a dial tone. I squint as I concentrate on the face of the phone, and I realize my mistake. The phone wasn't ringing, it was alerting me to an incoming text message. I chuckle and shake my head at my stupidity.

I open the message screen and confusion fills me as I scroll through the series of photos. That's it, pictures no message. There are four of them, one each of Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan and one of the three of them together but they aren't close up shots of them smiling and posing. They've obviously been taken from a distance. Tyler is on a swing, Tessa is on a slide, and Teagan is on a bridge. The one of all three of them together show them resting and drinking some bottled water. I study them closely. It looks like they're wearing the same clothes they were wearing yesterday. I automatically raise up on one arm and look over at my kids.

 _What the hell are these?_ Why would Bridget send me such odd pictures? I study each shot again, and in the photo of all three of them, she is sitting on the park bench almost out of frame. Obviously, she didn't take these. I exit out of the message and try to access the number attached to the text. Bridget didn't send them to me. It says it's from a blocked number. My heart rate picks up until it's beating violently in my chest.

I ease out of bed, making sure I don't disturb the kids. They're sleeping peacefully, and I wish I was as blissfully unaware as they are in this moment. I sit down in the rocking chair and open the disturbing pictures once again. I study every millimeter of each frame for any kind of clue as to who could have sent these but there is nothing. If I didn't know better, they look like your average snapshot. _Should I disturb Tobias with this?_ _What if they're nothing_? The increasing panic subsides for a moment when I consider that they may be from Fiona. She and Liam usually go to the park with Bridget and the kids and yesterday was no exception. I'm dialing her number before I realize what I'm doing.

"Hey, Tris," Fiona says, answering on the third ring.

"Hi, Fi," I say trying to keep the panic out of my voice. My babies are fine. They're sleeping right in front of me. There is no need to alarm her. "I have a question for you."

"All right," she says. "Is there something wrong? You sound upset." I guess I'm not a very good actress when it comes to my kids.

"I'm sure it's nothing," I mutter even though I'm convinced it's definitely something, although what I have no idea. "When you were at the park with Bridget and the kids yesterday, did you see anyone lingering around who didn't quite fit?"

"Um, no," she says after a moment.

"Did you see someone with a camera?" I ask, trying a different route.

"No," she says, her interest definitely peaked. "What's going on, Tris?"

"I just got some odd pictures of the kids a little bit ago," I say.

"Pictures?"

"Yeah. One of each of the kids and one of the three of them together," I say.

"I didn't send you any pictures, Tris," she says, concern audible in her voice. "I took a few but I haven't even had time to look at them yet."

"Although I didn't see you or Liam in any of the pictures, Bridget is in the group shot," I say. "But I know they didn't come from you. The pictures you send always come from your phone number."

"Have you talked to Bridget about them?" she asks. "Is this something I should be worried about with Liam?" I never thought about that.

"I don't think so, Fiona," I say, "but I'll give Christina or Will a call and see if they got any strange photos."

"I really am sorry, Tris. I pride myself in keeping an eye on what's going on when we're watching the kids," she says. "I don't want you to think we were being lax."

"I don't think that, Fi. Not at all. You and Bridget have always been so good with my kids," I say. "Whatever this is, it's not your fault. Please don't think anything else. It's probably nothing anyway and I'm just overreacting." I must be too loud because the girls stir. "I'm sorry but I've got to go. The kids are waking up. Thanks for taking them to the park yesterday. They love it."

"We had a great time," she says. "Bye."

"Bye," I say then hang up the phone just in time to see Tessa's head pop up off the pillow. Thankfully, Teags settles back down. I put my finger over my lips indicating that she needs to stay quiet. She looks at her brother and sister then nods. I beckon her with my finger and she crawls to the end of the bed where I'm waiting. I pick her up and hug her tightly, comforting myself with her nearness until she starts squirming. I relax my arms so she stops trying to get away from me then sit back down in the rocking chair. I love how she snuggles into my chest as we gently glide back and forth.

"Mama, gotsta potty," she whispers after a while. I honestly thought she had fallen back to sleep.

"Do you need help?" I ask as I set her on her feet.

"No. I do it," she says then runs towards the bathroom.

"My independent girl," I murmur under my breath. _One day you won't need me anymore._ The thought makes me sad.

"Mama! Help!" she calls from the bathroom. This makes me smile.

"What do you need, little one?" I ask as I enter the bathroom. She stands up and points at the little potty. "I'll empty it after we clean you up."

"Otay," she says. "Mama?"

"What?"

"You otay?" she asks, staring up at me with wide, serious eyes.

"Of course, I'm okay," I say. I squat down to her level. "Why do you ask?"

"You look sad," she says. This takes me aback. If my two-year-old is picking up on the fact that I'm upset, Tyler would grill me for hours. I take a deep breath and gather her into my arms.

"Mommy isn't feeling very well today, little one," I say. "That's all." I try not to lie to my children but this is one time I'm not comfortable with the complete truth. I have no idea what the pictures mean, and I don't want to scare her needlessly. My stomach churns a little reminding me that what I said was the complete truth.

"Otay," she says with a sunny smile. "Can I pay?" I hate the thought of not having her in my sight right now.

"How about you get something to play with out of the playroom and bring it back here and we play together? How does that sound?"

"Fun!" She runs off toward the door and I tell her to walk just as she slams into Tyler.

"Hey!" he says as they both land on the floor with a thud. I hold my breath waiting for the tears but I think they're both too stunned.

"Are you okay, Tyler?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says. "Tess runned into me."

"I know," I say. "Tessa, are you okay?" She looks up at me and instead of tears I get giggles. _At least she isn't hurt._ "That is why you need to walk. You could have hurt your brother or yourself."

"I sowwy," she says. "Ty-ty otay?"

"I fine, Tess," he says as he gets to his feet. "I was just looking for everyone." He scans the room then frowns. "Where Teags?"

"What do you mean where's Teags? Wasn't she asleep on the bed with you?" He shakes his head and the panic that subsided envelopes me, practically crushing me. I spring to my feet, calling her name. I rush down the stairs and find her sitting in the kitchen watching Bridget put the groceries away. I grab her up in my arms, startling her.

"Mama!" she says, hugging my neck tightly. "Hi!"

"You scared me, Peanut," I say. "I didn't know where you were."

"I hewe," she says, looking at me like I'm nuts.

"I see that now, silly," I say. "Why don't you go upstairs and find your sister? She's picking out some toys to play with. I'll be up in a couple minutes."

"'Kay," she says. I watch as she slowly makes her way up the stairs, carefully hanging onto the banister the entire way.

"Are you okay, Tris?" Bridget asks, concern clearly written on her face.

"Honestly, Bridget, I'm not sure," I say. "Did you by chance see anyone hanging out at the park yesterday who didn't belong or stood out or maybe you saw someone paying special attention to the kids? Someone with a camera?" She looks up, startled.

"No," she says, her brows furrowed. "Why?" I have to admit that I'm surprised that Fiona hasn't forewarned her of this conversation.

"I received some pictures of the kids earlier," I say, "and they were from a blocked number."

"I didn't send you…," she begins but I cut her off.

"I know they didn't come from you," I say. I get my phone out of my pocket, open the text, and find the picture I'm looking for. I hand her my phone. "This shot has you in it." She takes the phone from me and her frown becomes more pronounced. She starts shaking her head.

"I don't remember seeing anyone with a camera, that's for sure," she says. "There was another family there. Dauntless, I think. Although they could have been Candor come to think of it. They were dressed in black and white. They had two boys about Tyler's age but they kept to themselves. There was a young man and woman there. Erudite. They looked like they were stealing a couple hours together. Fiona and I thought they should have been in upper levels. I don't remember seeing anyone else. No, that's not right. There were a few factionless hanging around the edge of the park. They never approached the playground so I didn't really think anything about it. I never felt unsafe, and I never thought the kids were in any danger."

"The factionless. Did you happen to see a young woman with red hair?" I ask, seething. I should have known she would be behind this. Damn bitch! "I've showed you this picture before." I swipe through my numerous photos until I come across the one I wish I could delete. "Her name is Olivia Nelson." She studies the picture carefully.

"I don't remember seeing her or anyone with red hair," she says.

"How often are factionless at the park?" I ask.

"To tell you the truth, I think they are there every time," she says. "They've never bothered us though. Fiona and I are both quite vigilant when it comes the kids. I'm sorry this is happening."

"So am I," I say. "Unfortunately, I'm not sure exactly what _this_ is. I'm probably working myself up over nothing."

"You let me know if I need to do anything," she says. "Anything at all."

"I will, Bridget," I say. "I better get back upstairs. I promised the girls I would play with them."

"They will enjoy that," she says. "All three of them were disappointed when you were asleep when Four brought you home this morning. That's why I asked him if I could take them to the pool. They were bound and determined to wake you up. I kept catching them trying to sneak upstairs." She shakes her head but a smile lights her face. "They really wanted their mommy this morning."

"Now I feel bad," I mumble.

"Oh, that wasn't my intention," she says.

"It's not your fault, Bridget," I say. "I was already feeling guilty for sleeping instead of spending time with them but the twins are wanting me to sleep like 20 hours a day. I'm absolutely exhausted. I couldn't fight it this morning. Well, I better get upstairs. Thank you for shopping for us and thank you for making stew tonight. It's one of the kids' favorite."

"I thought it might be one of Four's favorites since he asked for it," she says.

"It is," I say with a chuckle. "Actually, anything you make is one of his favorites and mine too. You could open a restaurant if you wanted."

"Oh, you flatter me," she says, blushing tomato red. "Looking after children is my passion. Cooking is just a hobby."

"Mommy!" Tyler calls from the top of the stairs. "Tessa wants you. She said you would play with us."

"I'm coming," I call up the stairs then turn back to the kitchen. "Thanks again, Bridget. For all you do."

"It's my pleasure, Tris," she says then starts softly chuckling. "You better get upstairs before they tear the house down."

At the first landing, I call over my shoulder, "You certainly know my kids."

"That I do," she says.

"So, did you find something to play?" I ask as I enter my bedroom. The kids are sitting on the floor around a board game I forgot we had. We spend the next two hours playing the game. Sometimes Tessa wins, Teagan wins once. But it's Tyler who dominates the afternoon.

"I'm leaving," Bridget says from the doorway.

"Is it that time of night already?" I ask, looking toward Tobias' nightstand.

"It sure is," she says.

"Have a good evening," I say. The kids each jump up and give her hugs and kisses then she disappears down the stairs. "I can't believe it's after 6 o'clock."

"I'm hungry, Mommy," Tyler says.

"Me, too," Tessa says.

"Yeah!" Teags adds.

"I could eat, too," I say. "Let's go downstairs. Hopefully, Daddy will be home soon."

"Is supper ready?" Tyler asks when we reach the dining room.

"Bridget made us beef stew," I say, taking in the aroma. "And it looks like she made us a treat also."

"What?" they all ask in unison.

"Ooey gooey monkey bread for three little monkeys," I say as I close the oven door. "We'll have that for dessert. Do you want to help me set the table?" The kids eagerly agree and within minutes the table is set, and they are seated and ready for supper.

"I think Daddy is home," Tyler says when we hear the front door open and close.

"I think you may be right," I say as Tobias comes into the kitchen.

"Good evening, love," he says. He gives me a soft kiss then looks at the kids. "How are you guys doing?" Of course, they all talk at once, fighting for their father's undivided attention. I serve supper while they all catch up.

"Mommy played with us _all_ afternoon," Tyler says, beaming ear to ear.

"Is that right?" Tobias asks.

"Well after our nap she did," he says. "First she had to find Teags. I didn't even know her was missing."

"What?" Tobias asks, looking and sounding alarmed.

"She wasn't missing," I say. "She was just downstairs with Bridget. I overreacted a little when she wasn't where I thought she was. We'll talk about it more later." I really didn't want to broach this subject in front of the kids but I didn't know that Tyler was going to tell on me. Hell, I didn't even know I made that much of an impression to let him know I was scared.

"Is there something I should know?" he asks.

"Later. Please," I say.

"Okay," he says. "I have a few things to talk to you about also."

"Oh, how was your appointment?" I ask, totally forgetting about his physical.

"I'm healthy as a horse," he says with a sexy grin.

"You not a horse," Tyler says a little indignant.

"I wanna horsey," Tessa says.

"Uh, she can't have a horse until _I_ get a dog," Tyler says matter-of-factly.

"I lub doggies," Teags says. "But I wanna bebe seester." Tobias and I just look at each other. How did we get on this subject?

"Um, Tessa, _no_ you cannot have a horse," Tobias says and I add, "Ever."

"Tyler, you know you can't have a dog until you are responsible enough to take care of it yourself," he says.

"I promise I would take care of it all by myself," he says.

"You are four years old," I say. "You can't even go outside by yourself. How would you walk him?"

"I'd walk him around the apartment," he says.

"No, Tyler," Tobias says. "You need to wait a few more years. You know this. If you keep asking, you will never get a dog. Do you understand?"

"I only asked because Tessa asked for a _horse_ ," he says like that explains it all.

"Tyler," I softly scold. He sighs dramatically.

"I understand," he says, looking so forlorn.

"As for you, Teagan Grace," Tobias says and she looks up with a huge smile, "I know you and Tessa want the babies to be girls and Tyler is hoping for boys but we all will have to be happy with whatever we get."

"Whatever we get?" I raise my brows at him.

"Okay. That didn't come out like it sounded in my head," he says, looking bashful. "Tyler, I know you want baby brothers and girls, I know you want baby sisters but all your mommy and I want is two healthy babies we will love just as much as we love the three of you. Mommy and I don't really care if they are boys or girls but it would be nice to give you all what you want. Understand?"

"I wanna chalk," Tessa says. The change in conversation nearly gives me whiplash.

"Yeah!" Teags says, bouncing in her seat. "Chalk! Chalk! Peas!"

"I'll draw you a horse, Tess," Tyler says, "but only if you draw me a dog." She nods enthusiastically at him. I fake a cough to cover my chuckle.

"Sure, we can go to the roof," Tobias says, shaking his head. "Love, why don't you take them, and I'll clean up the kitchen."

"Wait, guys," I say. "We have dessert, remember?" The mention of the monkey bread changes their train of thought. They ooh and aah as I take it out of the warm oven. "Tobias, would you get some bowls out of the cupboard for me?"

"Sure," he says. "I didn't know you made dessert, Tris?"

"Bridget made it for us," Tyler says.

"Well, it's a nice surprise," Tobias says.

"I said the same thing," I says as I scoop out a small amount for each of us then join my family for more conversation and laughs. Once we're finished, I take the kids to our rooftop deck and sit in the shade watching them use the sidewalk chalk on the pavers. Tobias joins me after he cleans up the kitchen and puts the leftovers away.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Tired," I say. "The nausea finally went away."

"That's good," he says. "You didn't eat very much. Is that because of the morning sickness or is something else bothering you?"

"You know me so well," I murmur.

"I do," he says. "What's going on? You said we could talk later. It's later." I dig my phone out of my pocket and open the offending text message. When I look up, I see the color drain from him face.

"Do you know something about this?" I ask, handing him my phone. "Did you send these to me?" That thought had never crossed my mind.

"It wasn't me," he says. He pulls his phone from his pocket and with the slide of his finger, up pops the same message that's been on my mind since it woke me. Those were the last truly peaceful moments I've had today.

"You got pictures of them, too?" Anger surges through me. If someone wants to come after me, fine, come at me head on but try to get to me through my children and I'll kill you. "What the hell is going on, Tobias?" My voice wavers as the panic surges through me once again. "What do these mean?"

"I don't know," he says sounding just as angry and confused as I do. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. "I _don't_ know." We sit wrapped up in each other for the longest time, vigilantly watching the kids. Neither of us know what to make of the pictures, although we both have an idea.

"It has to be a threat," I softly say. "That's all it can be."

"I think you're right," he says. "It's the only thing that makes sense."

"Nothing about this makes any sense," I say, hugging him tightly. "We need Zeke to go through the security footage from the park yesterday. Maybe whoever it is was caught on video."

"I already tried that," he says. "Someone spray painted all the security cameras in that area. They knew we'd be looking at the tapes."

"Son of a bitch!" I murmur under my breath, not wanting the kids to hear me even though I'd rather be shouting it at the top of my lungs. "Why would someone want to hurt us like this?"

"I don't know," he says, "but there is one thing I do know. We'll figure out who it is, and when we do, we'll make them pay."

"Yeah, we will," I say, "with their life."


	49. Chapter 49

I roll over and glance at the clock on Tobias' nightstand. The green numbers glow bright, practically screaming 2:18. I roll back over with a groan and stare up unseeing into the darkness above. I've been tossing and turning for what seems like hours. I don't know if I've slept or not. I close my eyes and take deep, even, calculated breaths in an attempt to relax, but I'm just too keyed up to sleep.

I swear I haven't done anything but worry about my children for over a week. I haven't let them out of my sight for more than a few minutes at a time. I've barely eaten a thing; I've been too nauseated. Whether it's the lingering morning sickness or the intense worry, I don't know. If I were to step on a scale, it wouldn't surprise me if it told me I've lost a pound or two. Sleep has been elusive. I'm not getting more than a couple hours each night ... _if_ I'm lucky. I'm beginning to look a lot like the walking dead from those classic movies Tobias likes.

We still have no clue what the photographs of Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan mean or who sent them to us, and there has been no further communication from the anonymous number. I don't want to jump to conclusions but I can't come up with any other reason for those pictures except that they are a threat of some sort. But why would someone target our kids? They are completely innocent. They've never done anything to anyone, and for the life of me, I can't think of anyone Tobias or I have pissed off enough in the past that they would retaliate in such a despicable way.

Tobias and I sat down after we put the kids to bed the night we both received the pictures and came up with a list of suspects. At the top of mine was the bitch. When she was admitted to the psychiatric wing of the city hospital after trying to kill me she told the doctors that I was standing in the way of her happiness with Tobias. Even though she has convinced the medical establishment of her sanity, she will never convince me and maybe she now thinks of our kids as some sort of roadblock and wants them eliminated. Tobias didn't disagree but he had other thoughts. He thinks this has something to do with Terrance Samuels. When he first approached Hector, he not only interrogated his son about us but he brought up our kids. It didn't sit well then and with the addition of the pictures, it does make him a viable suspect. We also added Jessica Samuels' name to our list. Since her failed attempt to discredit Tobias with false abuse rumors she hasn't been much of a nuisance but that doesn't make her innocent either. Another name we tossed around was Marcus'. We've seen him from time to time in Abnegation when we've visited my parents and he hasn't made a scene but this sounds like something he would do to scare us.

Tobias asked Zeke to put digital surveillance into place for each of our suspects, which he readily agreed to. Terrance Samuels has proven to be a worthy adversary. Zeke's yet to find him on a live feed. He seems to know where all the camera blind spots are, and he sticks to them. While Zeke worked on that he assigned Nathan to go through surveillance video from in and around the park for the hours and days leading up to the time Bridget took the kids to play but, unfortunately, he found nothing that stood out as unusual. I thought for sure that the person who spray-painted the cameras would be identified but the perpetrator struck in the dead of a moonless, rainy night and was completely camouflaged.

Since the call came from an unknown name and number, I gave my phone to Callen to see if he could use his technical expertise to determine who it came from but he, too, came up empty, except to tell us that the photos were taken at 10:07, 10:10, 10:15, and 11:06 a.m. on Monday, July 30. We may not know much else but at least we have the timeframe when the asshole was taking the photos. Callen did set up a tap and trace, which will tell us the origin of the call if that number contacts either of us again. That has given me some peace of mind but not much. I just want this over.

Tobias and I had a private meeting with Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo about our unusual text message and showed them the series of pictures. We gave them copies, and they went to the park and determined exactly where the photos were taken from. My blood ran cold when it was revealed that the shots were taken from near the woman's restroom. For me, this was a confirmation of what I had been thinking from the very moment I first opened that damn text. I was certain that the bitch was behind it and still am but Tobias still needed more convincing and unfortunately, it caused a heated argument. I wanted her arrested while he wanted more evidence of her guilt. I now know I was being overly emotional and he was being rational but no one could have convinced me of that at the time. We finally compromised on 24-7 digital and undercover surveillance on her. If it turns out not to be her, I'll still know what she's up to at all times.

I glance toward the clock again. 4:43. I sit up and gently slide out of bed so I don't disturb Tobias. He's had just as rough of a night as I have. I pad down the dark hallway and into Tyler's room. He's right where he was the last time I checked on him, lying on his side with his hands up by his face, his nightlight casting a soft glow over him. He looks like a little angel. I gently ease myself down on the side of his mattress and brush his hair off his forehead so I can see him better. I know for a fact that I wouldn't survive if something were to happen to him or to Tessa, Teagan, the twins, or their father for that matter. I need them all to be safe, healthy, and happy not only for my sanity but for my survival. I watch him for a while then sigh, softly kiss the side of his head, and go back into my bedroom but instead of getting into bed, I go straight into the nursery. I need to check on my girls, too. I know it's irrational but I need to see if they're okay.

I stand in front of Tessa's crib first. She's lying on her back, her thumb in her mouth, her wild curls crowning her head. Tobias and I have tried to break that habit but we've had no luck so far. I reach down and gently move her hand away from her mouth, and she frowns at me but she doesn't wake. Then she starts sucking the air like she did when she was an infant, and my heart constricts with love. I watch her for about five minutes then move to Teagan's crib. She's lying on her stomach, her little fanny stuck up in the air. It's how she's always slept. I think it's because she didn't have a lot of room inside me. I brush her hair out of her face, and she smiles but doesn't stir. I watch her until she gets restless, possible sensing my presence, then I gently rub circles on the small of her back, and she immediately calms down. I sigh knowing my babies are fine then decide to try to get some sleep.

I walk back into our bedroom my hand resting on my slight bump and stand at the foot of the bed. I stare at Tobias. He's on his back, one arm over his head and the other lying low across his abdomen. Usually when he sleeps, he has a peaceful look about him but it's not there right now. His brows are furrowed, his jaw tense. The worry line between his eyes is deep. He's suffering, too. I take a deep breath suddenly feeling ashamed. I've only been thinking about myself and how those pictures make me feel. I didn't give a thought to what Tobias is going through. I've been cold and distant with him. He tried to connect with me early on but after rejecting him more than once, he stopped trying. I haven't been fair and I know it. Frustrated tears well up in my eyes. I haven't allowed myself to cry because anger was my driving emotion and because I needed to be strong and in control for my family but right now, I can't stop. I tightly squeeze my eyelids shut in an attempt to stem the flow but I don't succeed. I'm so overwhelmed right now.

"Tris?" Tobias says. His sleep-filled voice startles me. "What are you doing standing there?" I open my mouth to answer but the only thing that escapes is a strangled sob. "Oh, love!" He's out of bed in a heartbeat, and then I'm surrounded by his comforting embrace. I cling to him as he murmurs that everything's going to be okay. I'm not entirely sure I believe that. I break. I claw at his chest, trying to catch my breath but oxygen eludes me. My knees buckle, and if he wasn't holding me so tightly, I would surely fall to the floor. He gathers me up in his strong arms and gently lies me in our bed then follows me down onto the mattress. I tuck my head into his shoulder and relish the feel of his lips in my hair. I hold him close as I let all the rage and frustration I've felt for over a week flow out of me. Every time I think I've calmed down, a new wave of despair washes over me, and the tears start all over again. I'm an absolute mess. Once the tears finally dry, I feel emotionally drained and physically exhausted. I lift my head then rest my chin on my folded hands, staring into his eyes. "Feel better?"

"I think so," I say.

"I'm glad to hear it," he says. "You need some rest."

"We both do," I say. "Why don't you text Will, James, and Shauna and tell them you're taking today off?"

"I can't," he says as he runs his hand through my hair. "Will and Christina are off this weekend, remember?"

"Oh, that's right," I say. "I forgot." Tobias made reservations at the lighthouse for them last weekend but when we got the pictures they postponed their plans, worried that they too would get pictures of Liam, which thankfully never arrived. We talked them into going this weekend. Hopefully this short getaway will help them reconnect.

"It's not like you haven't had other things on your mind," he says. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine once we find out who sent those pictures," I say. I pause then add, "And why."

"I'm confident we'll find them but we have to be realistic, love," he says, absentmindedly twirling a strand of my hair around his fingers while staring into my eyes. "Since we have no real leads, it could be some time before we confirm who the culprit is and until we do, we can't stop living."

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"I'm worried about you, Tris," he says. "You haven't left the apartment since we got that text. I'm concerned about what the pictures mean but I'm more concerned about you."

"What about me?" I ask, sounding defensive.

"You're like an overprotective zombie," he says, obviously trying to lighten the mood but I don't smile. He sighs. "You hover over the kids, not letting them out of your sight. You haven't worked. You're not eating. You're not sleeping. Think of the twins. This stress is not good for them, for your body. You made me get a physical because you were worried about my health, remember?"

"Yes," I grumble.

"I'm just as worried about you. I'm also concerned about Button and Bean," he says. "I didn't want to mention this before but Zeke and Shauna invited us out tonight."

"No," I say, pulling away from him. He wasn't expecting it and he pulls my hair causing me to wince before moving his hand. "I'm not going anywhere. They can come over for supper."

"I already told them we'd go out," he sternly says.

"Well then call them and cancel," I say. "Like I said, I'm not going anywhere, Tobias Eaton. I'm not leaving my kids." I roll off him and sit against the headboard and defiantly cross my arms over my chest. I'm angry now. "How could you make plans like that without consulting me first?"

"I knew you'd say no," he says as he leans up on one elbow, "and you need to get out of this house. So do I," he says.

"Oh! So, this is about _sex_ ," I spit, knowing my thought process is dangerously slipping into the absurd but unable to stop myself.

"No, this is definitely not about sex, but let's talk about sex. When's the last time we made love, Tris?" he asks, his blazing eyes boring into mine. "We haven't been together since we received those damn pictures. Not for my lack of trying but you keep pushing me away."

"Sex is more important than our kids?" I bark at him. He hangs his head and sighs.

"Of course not, and you know it," he says. "But we need each other, Tris. It's how we deal with stress. We usually can't keep our hands off each other at times like this." I continue glaring at him, knowing he's absolutely right but not ready to admit it "Well, I guess I'm wrong. Apparently, you don't need me like I need you." Pain and vulnerability flash in his eyes before his Four mask falls into place, which should break my heart but my illogical thought process only angers me further.

"Tobias." He raises his masked eyes to mine, and I know what he's hiding, hurt and rejection. "I didn't mean to reject you. I'm worried about our _kids_. I can't help it. I don't want to take the chance that someone could get to them when we're out because you want to have sex. We can have sex at home."

"But we're not," he says. "That's part of the problem."

"I'm not going anywhere tonight," I spitefully say. "I won't leave them."

"Yes, we are going," he says, rolling out of bed. "I'm not backing down on this, Tris. We need to get out of this damn apartment and blow off some steam. We need to be Tris and Tobias for a few hours instead of Mommy and Daddy, and as I see it there's no better way than spending a few hours with Zeke and Shauna. Gavin will watch Tyler, Tessa, and Teags. He's a good guy. He's excellent with the kids, and they love him. They'll be excited to spend the evening with him. They'll be locked in the apartment with someone we wholeheartedly trust. They'll all be perfectly safe. I will even go as far as to post guards outside the door if that would make you feel better." He stalks to my side of the bed during his speech and leans over me until we are practically nose to nose. "But we _are_ going out and then when we get home I'm going to bury myself so deep inside of you that we won't know where I begin and you end." I gasp. "I'm done letting the unknown eat me alive and now that you're pregnant, I'm not going to let it turn you inside out either."

"What if something happens while we are out?" I whisper, staring into his stormy eyes. "We'd never forgive ourselves. I would never forgive you, Tobias."

"Love, nothing is going to happen," he says, resting his forehead on mine.

"I'm sorry," I say, ducking away from him and rolling out of bed. I adamantly shake my head. "You'll have to go without me. I'm not leaving my kids until I know who the hell sent those pictures and why." He huffs out a frustrated breath.

"So, if we never figure this out you're never leaving the apartment again? What about your job? I can't justify you staying at home forever. The others are already asking questions."

"Fine," I say. "I quit."

"Excuse me? Are you being serious right now?" he finally asks after staring at me for at least two minutes. His words are calm but his body language is anything but.

"Dead serious," I say, squaring my shoulders for a fight. "You know I can do my job from anywhere. Why not let me do it from here? You're being unreasonable."

"Me? Unreasonable," he yells. "That's the pot calling the kettle black, sweetheart."

"I can't do this right now," I say, my eyes darting for the door.

"Beatrice Grace Eaton, don't you _dare_ walk away from me," Tobias angrily says. I freeze at his furious tone. "You promised you wouldn't do that anymore, and this time I'm holding you to it. We have the start of a real problem here, and we're going to deal with it." He gently sets his hands on my shoulders and turns me around. "I know you're scared. I'm scared too. I want to find the jackass who sent those pictures for so many reasons." I raise an eyebrow at him, indicating for him to continue. "First, I want to know my kids are safe and not the target of some lunatic. I would die if something were to happen to them. You know that. You and those kids are my life. Second, I want to know what this person's game is. Hell, for all we know, this is it. Maybe they want us distracted while they do whatever it is they have planned. We don't know. Third, I want my wife back."

"I'm right here," I say but even I know that isn't entirely true.

"I've watched the vibrant, strong woman I fell in love with shrivel before my eyes this past week," he says, cautiously stepping toward me but not touching. "I want my Tris back. I need her. And I'm not just talking about sex. I need a connection. I need my wife."

"Can't we _please_ compromise?" I ask, knowing that I'm seriously close to insanity at the moment but I still can't help myself.

"Tris, love, it's obvious that the pregnancy hormones are magnifying your terror." I start to argue but he puts his finger over my lips and continues. "Stop it, Tris. You know I'm right. Will you please just admit it?"

"Okay. I'll admit it. I'm being irrational. I know," I say after a long minute. "But how do I stop this gnawing in my gut or the hollow feeling in my chest when they are out of my sight? How do I stop the incessant need to check and see if they are safe? How can I leave them when that bitch took pictures of them when I wasn't there to protect them? How can you expect me to leave them, baby? How can _you_ leave them?"

"Come here, love," he says as he pulls me into his arms. I hug him fiercely as he protectively runs his loving hands up and down my back. "I don't want to leave them either. It takes everything I have to kiss them goodbye each morning but they don't need both their parents breaking down at once. I need to be strong for my family."

"I don't want to go out tonight, baby," I whisper.

"You mentioned compromise. This is the best I can do. We won't leave the compound. We can go to dinner then the theater or the nightclub. Hell, I'm sure Zeke would love it if we went to the arcade. He would fit in with all the other adolescents." I chuckle at his joke, and I hear him sigh in my ear.

"Love that sound," he murmurs.

"You promise they'll be safe?" I ask, looking up at him.

"You really are worried about them," he states. This can't be the first time that he's seen it.

"Yes, I am," I say. He closes his eyes then shakes his head.

"They will be safe," he says. "I promise you they will."

"Okay," I say with a sigh, finally giving in. "Please don't make me regret this, Tobias."

"You won't," he says. "I'll call Zeke, and we'll plan everything."

"No leaving the compound," I state.

"I already promised," he says. "I know it's easier said than done but you don't have to worry. The kids will be in good hands."

"I believe you," I say. "I trust you."

"Thank you," he says. As he lowers his mouth to mine, a timid knock sounds at the open door. We both turn to find Tyler standing there. His eyes are wide and the color is drained from his face.

"Hey, buddy," I say. "What's wrong?"

"I'm scared," he whispers.

"Why are you scared? Did you have a bad dream?" Tobias asks as he releases me. He immediately picks up our son and rubs his back while he hugs him.

"You was yelling. Both of you," Tyler quietly says. "Is something going to happen to me and Tess and Teags?" I think it dawns on me and Tobias at the same time that Tyler must have been standing at our door long enough to hear our argument. _Damn it!_

"Nothing is going to happen to any of you," I say, my eyes on Tobias'. I join my husband and son and wrap my arms around them both.

"Tyler, buddy, I would never let anything bad happen to you," he says, his tone serious and grave yet loving and caring. "You, your mommy, and your sisters are my life. Nothing will happen to you. Not on my watch."

"Mine either," I say.

"Why was you yelling?" he asks. He lays his head on Tobias' shoulder and peeks through his eyelashes at me.

"Daddy and I were having a disagreement," I say. "We shouldn't have yelled."

"Are you still mad?"

"I don't think either of us were ever really mad," Tobias says. He kisses my temple and I give him my shy smile. "We were both frustrated but we figured everything out. Isn't that right, love?"

"That's right," I say. "Gavin is coming over to watch you and your sisters tonight while Mommy and Daddy go out for a few hours." Instead of the happy reaction I'm expecting, Tyler looks really upset.

"I don't want you to go," he says, his bottom lip trembling. His glassy eyes look terrified. "What if someone hurts us?"

"How long were you listening to Daddy and Mommy?" Tobias asks. He sits down on the side of the bed, and I sit beside them. Tyler scrambles into my lap and I hug him closely. I look over his head at Tobias and mouth I'm sorry. This is all my fault. The kids didn't know anything about the potential danger. They thought the only reason I was home was because I wasn't feeling well. Now Tyler knows there's more to the story than that.

"You waked me up yelling," he says, sniffling. "I came to see what was wrong. I hear you talking about pictures and getting hurt. I don't want you to leave me."

"Oh, Tyler," Tobias says but I shake my head at him. This is my mess that I need to clean up.

"Buddy." He looks up at me. "Mommy and Daddy got a message last week that scared us," I say. "I overreacted a little because the babies," I run my hand over my stomach, "have my emotions all mixed up. I promise nothing will happen to you tonight or any other night. Gavin will come over and play games with you or watch a movie. If there was any chance that something would happen, I wouldn't be leaving you. I would never let anyone or anything intentionally hurt you. Do you believe me?"

"Yeah," he says. "I just got scared."

"It's okay to be scared," Tobias says. "Everyone gets scared sometimes." Tyler frowns and leans in close.

"I hear people talking that Daunt … Daunt."

"Dauntless?" I help.

"Yeah! Dauntless isn't 'pose to be scared," he says. "We're 'pose to be brave."

"Sometimes even the bravest of soldiers gets scared," Tobias says.

"Even you, Daddy?" he asks.

"Even me, buddy," Tobias says, ruffling Tyler's hair. "If someone says they never get scared they're probably lying to you. We all have fears. How we act in the face of them determines our character. If you cower in a corner when you see a spider, that isn't very Dauntless but if you face your fear and move past the spider, that is Dauntless."

"So, if I'm scared for you to leave, I need to be brave when you go?" he asks, showing wisdom beyond his years.

"That's really good, Tyler," I say. "You understand better than I was just a few minutes ago."

"I'm Dauntless!" he says with a giggle.

"You sure are," Tobias says. He looks over his shoulder and sighs. "I can't believe that it's time to get up already. Daddy has to take a shower. Why don't you go back to your room and get dressed for the day?"

"I laid out shorts and a t-shirt for you last night," I say.

"Can we have pancakes for breakfast?" Tyler asks, looking back at us from the doorway.

"I was thinking," Tobias says, "that we can go to the cafeteria for breakfast then we can all have our favorites this morning. What do you think, love?" I take a deep breath, needing to face my fears, especially in front of Tyler.

"I think that's a really good idea," I say. "But no cake."

"I want pancakes, Mommy," Tyler says. "With blueberries in them. And bacon. Not cake." He wrinkles his nose at me like it's the most unappetizing thing he's ever heard.

"Okay," I say. "Go get dressed then play. Mommy and Daddy will come get you when it's time to go."

"Okay, Mommy," he says before disappearing into the hallway.

"Would you like to join me in the shower?" Tobias asks.

"I'm going to check on the girls," I say. "I imagine if we woke Tyler up we woke them too."

"All right," he says, disappointment obvious in his voice.

"Tobias." He looks back over his shoulder at me. "I know where a shower would lead – where I want it to lead – and we don't have time right now." I close the space between us and go up on my tiptoes as I wrap my arms around his neck. He automatically joins his hands at the small of my back, pulling me firmly against his body. "I'm so sorry for my behavior. I realized earlier that I wasn't being fair to you but I let my hormones continue to make me act badly any way."

"It's okay, love," he says.

"No, it's not," I say, shaking my head. "I didn't stop to think how those pictures affected you. All I've been thinking about this week is myself. You tried to get us to connect, and I pushed you away more than once. I was being selfish. I don't want you to think that I don't want you right now because I want you very much but we'll just have to wait until tonight."

"You really don't have to apologize but thank you for doing it," he says. "I know that the pregnancy hormones make you react differently than you normally do. I don't and won't hold it against you. I'm just glad that you realize what you've been doing. Please don't take this the wrong way but sometimes I have to walk on eggshells around you. It can be exhausting."

"I'm sorry for that, too," I say. "I'm sure it's not a pleasant experience." I softly press my lips to his and kiss him lovingly. When I pull away, Tobias has a big smile on his face. "What's that for?"

"I'm just thinking about tonight," he says. "I wasn't lying earlier when I said I was going to bury myself inside you. I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too, baby," I say. "Me too."


	50. Chapter 50

I'm standing in my oversized walk-in closet, my body and head tightly wrapped in fluffy towels after a quick shower. I thumb through the monotonous contents trying to figure out what to wear for my date with Tobias tonight. It would make my life a lot easier if he would just tell me what it is he and Zeke have planned but he's being mum about the subject. I finally decide on a dark gray and black polka dot off the shoulder top, a comfortable pair of stretchy black jeggings, and my favorite pair of black faux alligator ankle boots.

I go back into the bathroom and style my hair in a loose braid over my left shoulder then apply my makeup a little more dramatically than I naturally go with. I stand back and look at myself in the mirror and note the slight bags under my tired eyes then let out a weighty sigh. I'm still on the fence about leaving the kids with Gavin tonight even though I said I would. Although I know in my heart they will be fine, the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach just won't go away. Hushed laughter catches my attention, making me smile, and I try to dismiss the apprehension.

"Read it again, Dadda," I hear Tessa say.

"Yeah, Dadda!" Teags chimes in. "'Gain!"

"Are you sure? I've already read it twice," he says.

"Peas!" Tessa excitedly says. "Love it!"

"Lub it," Teags parrots.

"I know you do," he says with a chuckle. "I guess one more time won't hurt." I creep into the doorway and lean up against the jamb making sure I'm in the shadows, unseen. Tobias is sitting in the rocking chair with the girls at his feet eagerly listening as he recites _The Princess and the Pea_ from memory. He has the book open towards them and knows exactly when to turn the page. They listen intently to every word until he finishes.

"'Gain, Dadda!" they both say.

"I think you two have heard your story enough for one night," I say, revealing myself. They all look up and beam.

"Mama!" Tessa says, jumping to her feet. She practically catapults herself into my arms and hugs me tightly. She acts like she hasn't seen me in years instead of minutes. "Hi!"

"Hello to you too, little one," I say as I kiss her nose.

"Up," Teags says from my feet. I try to put Tessa down but she's not having it.

"Can I say hello to your sister?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says, still not letting go of me.

"I want to give her a hug like I gave you," I say. She sighs, a bit overdramatically, and finally lets go of me. I scoop up Teagan and pepper her face with kisses, making her giggle uncontrollably. "So, where is your brother?"

"In his room," Tobias says. "He listened to the story the first time around but that was enough for him. Girls, why don't you go tell him that Mommy is out of the shower, and we'll be leaving as soon as Gavin gets here."

"But remember to knock first if his door is closed," I remind them.

"Otay," Tessa says. I set Teags on her feet and they both run towards their brother's room.

"Walk!" Tobias and I call out after them.

"They are going to be the death of me," I murmur as I turn toward my husband. His eyes slowly roam from the top of my head to the tips of my feet.

"You are so beautiful," he says.

"You're not so bad yourself, handsome," I say, cocking my head to the side and putting on a sexy grin.

"I like your outfit. It's perfect for tonight."

"So where are you taking me?" I flirtatiously ask, stepping closer to him. I drag my finger down the black tee that's molded to his chest like a second skin.

"It's a surprise," he says, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"You know I don't like surprises," I say with a flirty pout.

"You'll like this one," he says. "I guarantee it."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll give you free reign in the bedroom tonight," he says, a sexy grin spreading across his face, making him even more handsome. "But if you love my surprise then I'm in charge and believe me, I have lots of things I want to do to you." His words make me ache. It's been too long.

"You're on," I say, reaching my hand out in front of me. He takes it and firmly shakes it then pulls me into his arms.

"I love you," he says. He leans down and gently presses his lips to mine, but they disappear just as quickly as they appear.

"I love you, too, Tobias." He stares down at me, concern written on his face.

"I know you're still apprehensive about leaving the kids with Gavin," he says.

"I am," I say. "I can't help it, I'm worried about them. My stomach is in knots." He sighs.

"I'll call Zeke and cancel," he says, taking me by surprise. This is a complete 180 from this morning. He was adamant about going out tonight. "You took them to the pool today. That's progress. At least you weren't cooped up in the apartment all day long."

"Do you mean that?" I ask, suddenly flooded with relief and guilt.

"Of course," he says. "I shouldn't have pushed so hard this morning. You're stressed enough because of the pictures. I shouldn't have pressured you about going out. I was being selfish."

"Baby, you don't have a selfish bone in your body," I say.

"I shouldn't have pushed," he firmly says. I look up into his stormy eyes and don't know what to do. On one hand, I desperately want to stay home with the kids but on the other, I want to go out with my husband. I suddenly have a flashback to the first times I left both Tessa and Teagan with sitters. I never wanted to be in two places more in my life.

"Thanks for the offer," I say, "but we need to go out _._ I need to go out. Hell, I _want_ to go out. Every word you said to me this morning was true. I've been letting my fear dictate my every move for nearly two weeks. I can't do that anymore. It's not good for me, it's not good for the babies, it's not good for the kids, and it's not good for us."

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Absolutely," I say, nodding. "Call me intrigued but I really want to know what you have planned."

"You are hopeless when it comes to surprises," he says.

"Can you give me a hint?" I ask, playfully batting my lashes. " _Please_."

"Don't beg, love," he groans. "You'll make me hard."

"Oh, poor baby. We wouldn't want that now," I say. I reach out to glide my hand over the sizable bulge in his jeans, but he grabs it away.

"That's not playing fair, Mrs. Eaton."

"I never said I played fair, Mr. Eaton." I press my body to his and wrap my arms around him then run my hands down to his hard ass. I softly kiss the side of his neck, causing him to moan.

"Behave, love," he says, gently pushing me away. "I hear the kids coming." It's hard not to. They sound like a heard of elephants coming down the hallway.

"Mommy, I'm hungry," Tyler says as he comes into the room followed by his sisters. "When are we having supper?"

"Gavin will be here soon, and he's bringing pizza with him," Tobias says.

"But I'm really hungry now," he whines. "My tummy hurts." That catapults me back to the day he ended up in the infirmary with severe stomach pain and I never want him to hurt like that again.

"Let's go downstairs, and I'll make you all a snack to tide you over until Gavin gets here," I say just as the doorbell rings. "Well it looks like you don't need a snack after all. Supper's here!"

"Oh! Gabin hewe," Tessa says.

"Pitsa!" Teagan yells.

"Yeah!" Tyler says, taking off toward the stairs.

"Tyler Aaron," I scold and he stops in his tracks. He slowly looks over his shoulder at me. "Were you about to run down the stairs?"

"Maybe," he says, his eyes downtrodden. "I sorry, Mommy." The doorbell rings again.

"We better get downstairs before Gavin escapes with your supper," Tobias says. He scoops up a girl under each arm, making them laugh and plods down the stairs.

"Two days without your computer," I say.

"But, Mommy!"

"No buts, Tyler," I say. "You know the rules." His bottom lip tremors. "No running or you lose your computer."

"But I didn't run," he complains.

"If I didn't stop you, you would have run down the stairs," I say. "That's why you're only losing it for two days instead of a whole week. You ran towards the stairs."

"I sorry, Mommy," he quietly says. "I didn't mean to run. I forgot."

"You know you say that a lot, buddy." He looks up at me through damp lashes. "It should be easy to remember. It's our number one rule. No running in the house. Ever."

"How do I 'member?" he asks.

"How about you just walk everywhere then you won't even have to think about it?" I say. "Does that sound like a plan?"

"What about the park? he asks. "Can I run there? I do all the time."

"Yes, you can run at the park," I say.

"Okay," he sighs. "I try to 'member better. No running except at the park."

"That's right," I say, ruffling his hair. "Shall we go downstairs now?" He nods, and we slowly descend the stairs.

"There you two are," Tobias says. He's putting slices on paper plates around the table. "I was about to send out a search party."

"Tyler and I were talking about the house rules," I say. "Isn't that right?"

"Yeah," he murmurs. "I can't play with my 'puter for _two_ _whole_ _days_."

"You did run in the house," Tobias sternly says. "I think Mommy is being fair."

"Yeah," he sighs. "I was bad."

"No, Tyler, you weren't _bad_ ," I say, leaning over and kissing the top of his head. "You just forgot to follow a rule. Not following the rules doesn't mean you're bad. It just means you have to try harder next time."

"Really?" he asks, his disposition a little sunnier. I know he doesn't want to disappoint me or his father.

"Yes," I say.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," he says, throwing his arms around my neck. I hug him tightly to me. "I'll walk from now on. I promise." I let him go and e gets up to the table. He immediately takes a bite out of his pizza then looks up and me and Tobias. "Unless I'm at the park." I can't help but chuckle. I probably won't get him to slow down when we're at the park.

"That's right, buddy," I say, ruffling his hair then I turn my attention to our guest. "Thanks for bringing the pizza, Gavin."

"You're welcome, Tris," he says. "Can I talk to you and Four for a minute? In here?" He nods toward the living room.

"Sure," Tobias says.

"I didn't want to ask this in front of the kids in case it wasn't all right," he says.

"What's that?" Tobias asks, sounding more like Four.

"I talked with Avery and Callen earlier, and she mentioned wanting to stop by and see the kids," he says. "I know you don't want me to have company, so I told them I would check with you first."

"We have no problem if Avery and Callen stop by," I say, knowing Tobias shares my feelings. "They are welcome any time."

"I figured as much but I wanted to double check with you," he says.

"It was good of you to ask," Tobias says. "I appreciate it."

"I'll call her right now," he says, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "The kids will love it." He excuses himself to our entryway for some privacy.

"I suddenly feel much more comfortable about going out tonight," I say, looking up at Tobias.

"I do, too," he says. "I was okay with just leaving them with Gavin, but it helps having Avery and Callen here, too." He looks at the clock and says, "We better say bye to the kids and get going." He takes my hand and leads me into the kitchen where the kids are quietly sitting at the table eating pizza. They must have been starving to not be chattering away.

"Mommy and Daddy are leaving now," Tobias says. "You all be good for Gavin. Do what he says and don't argue with him. You know the rules." They nod in unison. We give each of them a hug and a kiss then tell them we love them.

"Gavin, Tyler can't play on his computer tonight," I say as we're heading toward the door. "He had it taken away for running in the house."

"Okay," he says. "I think we'll watch a movie or two if we have time."

"We'll be home around 1 a.m.," Tobias says, moving me toward the living room. "If you need us for anything, don't hesitate to call. We won't be far." That relaxes and intrigues me. I can't help but wonder what he has in store for me tonight. "Ready, love?"

"As I'll ever be," I say. I take one last look at the kids and blow them a kiss. Tobias lays his hand on the small of my back and leads me out of the apartment. We're quiet as we descend the stairs towards our offices. When we exit into the hallway, I freeze when he leads me right instead of left. "You promised we wouldn't leave the compound, Tobias."

"Do you trust me, Tris?"

"Of course, I do," I say with zero hesitation, "but you know how I feel about leaving the kids right now."

"You heard me tell Gavin we won't be far," he says. I nod. "If I took you to the Pit it would be farther than where I'm taking you now. You've got to trust me, love." I take a long, deep breath and slowly let it out.

"Okay," I say. He takes my hand and lifts it to his lips, kissing it tenderly. 'I'm glad you're giving this a chance. I'm confident that you'll have fun tonight. Zeke and I worked really hard on this." At his best friend's name, he and Shauna burst through the exit doors.

"Tris!" She hugs me tightly. "I know I just saw you this morning, but it seems like it's been forever. I'm so glad you decided to come out tonight. We need to double more often."

"I agree with that," I say, relaxing further.

"So, did Four give you a hint about what's going on?" she asks. "Zeke's been quiet all day long, which has to be killing him."

"Ha ha," he says, deadpan.

"No, but Four said we're going to love it," I say.

"I imagine we will," she says as she smiles at Zeke but she's undeterred. "So where are you taking us tonight, guys? I'm dying to find out."

"It's not far," Zeke says, taking her hand. Tobias drapes his arm around my shoulder and I wrap my arm around his waist wanting to be as close as possible. We walk around the corner of the compound into a dark alley. I huddle closer to Tobias, and he protectively kisses the top of my head. I don't think I've been this way before. Soon the alley opens up to a small grassy area at the back of the compound. I hear Shauna's sharp intake of breath just as I gasp myself. Before us is a romantic, candlelit picnic. The single shade tree is wrapped in soft pink twinkle lights. Around the perimeter of the extra-large picnic blanket are alternating antique jars of floating pink candles and colorful wildflowers.

"This is amazing," I say, wonder audible in my voice. How did I not know about this place? It's literally in our backyard. I turn in Tobias' arms, and he smiles lovingly down at me. "Thank you."

"For what?" He looks legitimately confounded.

"For all this," I say, motioning to our surroundings.

"It's not that much," he says somewhat shyly.

"It's everything," I whisper as I raise my lips to his. He kisses me soundly but doesn't allow it to deepen, not in front of our friends. I wouldn't want it to either.

"Thank you for agreeing to our date tonight, love. I know you're worried about the kids but we need some adult time," Tobias quietly says, his mouth against my ear. "I just want tonight to be perfect."

"So far, so good," I say.

"When did you have time to do all this?" Shauna asks, sounding just as dumbfounded as I feel.

"We made time," Zeke says. "Anything for our girls."

"We may have had a little help," Tobias says.

"Well, that, too," Zeke says with a deep chuckle. "I don't know about the rest of you but I'm starving. Let's eat!" I sit next to Tobias on one side of the extra-large wicker picnic basket and Shauna and Zeke sit on the other side. Shauna and I get comfortable as Tobias pulls out container after container of salads, fruit, meats, vegetables, cheese, and bread while Zeke passes out plates, silverware, and napkins.

"This looks amazing," I say as my stomach growls. "You're definitely not the only one who's hungry, Zeke."

"I know I'm hungry," Shauna says, eying the food like she hasn't eaten in days.

"How about a toast first?" Zeke says as a loud pop makes me jump. I didn't see the bottle of cider in his hand. He pours us each a glass then returns the bottle to the ice-filled bucket I hadn't even noticed.

"To good friends, good food, and good times," Tobias says, lifting his glass. We all toast then I take a sip. The tart bubbles explode on my tongue and I sigh.

"This is wonderful," I say. "I'm so glad you talked me into it, Four."

"We needed to get away," he says. "Even if it's only for a few hours."

"So where did you get all this food?" I ask after taking another bite of the pecan chicken salad I put on the fluffy bun. "This is divine."

"Mom," Zeke says.

"Hana made all this?" Shauna asks. "I guess I should have known. This salad is perfection."

"Yeah," Tobias says. "We considered takeout from the Italian place and premade sandwiches and salads from the store."

"But Mom volunteered to help us out," Zeke says. "What can I say? She loves me."

"You're so conceited," Shauna says, shaking her head and rolling her eyes but there is a content smile on her face. "What did I ever see in you?"

"I'm sexy," he says, wagging his brows at her. I spit the bite in my mouth out and nearly choke on laughter.

"Are you okay?" Tobias asks as he gently pats my back.

"Mm-hm," I giggle. "You two kill me."

"I'm glad I can be of service," Zeke says, lifting his glass of cider in salute. "I live to entertain."

"You live to aggravate the hell out of everyone," Tobias says, although he has a smile on his face.

"That, too," Zeke says. We all laugh.

"So, how are you feeling, Tris?" Shauna asks, motioning to my swollen abdomen.

"I think the morning sickness is finally relenting. At least I hope," I say. "I still have some nausea but it's definitely not as bad as it was just a few weeks ago. The worse thing right now is the fatigue. I've been napping more than the kids."

"Were you this tired with Teagan?" Zeke asks.

"No," I say. "This is definitely different."

"Maybe that means you're having a boy," Shauna says. "I know that would make Tyler happy. A baby brother is all he talks about whenever I see him these days." Tobias catches my eye, and he raises a brow. I nod.

"I think she's so tired because she's carrying twins," he says. He reaches out and takes my hand then kisses our joined fingers.

"Twins!" our friends exclaim in unison after staring at us for nearly a minute.

"Yeah," I say, unable to hide my joy. "Twins." My free hand lays gently on my rapidly growing bump. I watch as the smile on Zeke's face fades as does all his color.

"You're going to have five kids, man," he says.

"Great, you can add," Tobias dryly says.

"Asshole," Zeke laughs, regaining his composure. "I'd be freaking out." I think he just did.

"Believe me, we already did that," I say, remembering the stuttering, stammering, and laughing in the exam room that day.

"Definitely," Tobias says, giving me a small smile. "Once it sank it though, we knew we were doubly blessed." He leans over and gives me a soft kiss. "Love you."

"Love you more," I say.

"Not possible."

"You two make me sick," Zeke says then makes face gagging noises. "So in love. In a couple years you'll have 20 kids."

"Nope," I say, shaking my head. "Five is _definitely_ our limit."

"She's making me get a vasectomy," Tobias says, surprising me.

"Oh!" Zeke says grabbing himself and falling over. He lies there moaning as we all look on. "Just hearing that hurts." Shauna laughs loudly at her husband.

"You had to tell him that," I say. At least it's just the four of us.

"What are you blushing for, love?" Tobias asks.

"I could ask you the same thing," I say.

"Actually, I have no idea why I said that," he says, "especially to him."

"I'm your best friend," Zeke says, startling me as he sits up. "You tell me everything."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do," he says.

"No … I don't," Tobias says.

"Admit it. You love me."

"Dear God," Tobias mutters, rolling his eyes. "You're nuts."

"Just like I said," he says. "You love me." We all laugh.

"Against my better judgment, yeah I love ya."

"See, Sunshine," Zeke says. "I got him to admit it." He grabs Tobias around the neck and kisses him on the cheek.

"Damn it, Zeke," Tobias says, pushing away his best friend. "Get off me, you jackass."

"Are you really considering a … you know?" Zeke's face is pinched as he gives Tobias the universal sign for cutting. He can't even bring himself to say the word.

"Thinking about it," he mutters, surprising me. We've only talked about this once, and he seemed vehemently against it. "Tris and I don't want another unplanned pregnancy."

"Well, you're braver than me," Zeke says.

"I always knew that," Tobias says. I laugh so hard I snort, which sets off everyone else's laughter.

"I'm so glad you made me come out tonight," I say, looking at my husband. "I really needed this."

"Still no word about what those pictures mean?" Zeke asks, immediately bringing the mood down.

"No," Tobias somberly says.

"Can we not talk about that tonight?" I ask. "I don't want to worry about what they mean right now. I'm having too good of a time."

"Well, the night is still young," Zeke says, "and we still have a few more tricks up our sleeves, right, Four?"

"Right, jackass," Tobias says and we all laugh again.


	51. Chapter 51

Zeke, Shauna, Tobias, and I finish our leisurely picnic, talking and laughing about everything. Only two subjects are off limits tonight: Shauna's dad and the troublesome pictures we received of the kids. It's nice to just sit back and forget all my troubles, even if it's only for a few hours. Zeke keeps us entertained, telling stories from their initiation. Some I've heard before but some are brand new. He has me laughing so hard I actually think I'm going to pee myself, which would be embarrassing beyond belief.

"I need to powder my nose," I quietly tell Tobias.

"So do I," Shauna says. "I'll come with you, Tris."

"Okay," I say.

"You just want to check on the kids," Zeke says, laughing.

"You're not wrong but I still have to use the bathroom," I say.

"Leave her alone," Tobias practically growls.

"I didn't mean anything by it," he says, holding his hands out in surrender. "I'm just surprised it's taken this long for her to call Gavin."

"It isn't the first time," I say. "I've texted him a few times."

"So have I," Tobias says, which makes me feel even better. He's just as worried about them as I am. "Hurry back, love." He leans in and gives me a quick kiss. "The night's still young." A rush of anticipation quickly spreads throughout my body like a raging forest fire. I'm having a good time with our friends but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to spend some uninterrupted time with my husband, alone and naked … very, very naked. I grin at the thought and flush.

"We'll be right back," I say. Shauna and I get to our feet. Just as I'm about to round the corner of the building, I look over my shoulder. Tobias' eyes are glued to me. I send him a flirty little wave then blow him a kiss. He taps two fingers over his heart and gives me the sexiest smile I think I've ever seen. It nearly takes my breath away.

"You better watch where you're going," Shauna chuckles. I right myself just as I nearly collide with the side of the building. "You two are worse than newlyweds! Hell, Zeke and I have only been married almost six months, and we don't act as lovey-dovey as you two do."

"Are we really that bad?" I ask, a blush once again coloring my cheeks.

"I've never seen anything like it. Sometimes it's uncomfortable to be around you two because you look like you're going to tear each other's clothes off in front of all of us," she says. "Do you two ever fight?"

"Of course, we do," I scoff. "I don't like to fight with him though."

"But making up is nice, right?" she says with a devilish grin. "It's some of the best sex Zeke and I have."

"Yeah, making up is great," I mumble.

"Still don't like to talk about sex, huh?" she chuckles.

"Not really," I say as we walk into the compound. "Although, it's not as difficult as it once was."

"That surprises me, too, especially since we all know that you and Four are basically exhibitionists."

"We are not!" I indignantly say. I hold the public restroom door open, look both ways making sure no one is listening to us, and let Shauna enter then follow behind her. "Knowing that Zeke saw us … _you know_. It mortified us, both of us. He's not the only one scarred for life because of that incident. Four and I were appalled that we let ourselves get carried away and that something so … _intimate_ … could have gotten into the wrong hands."

"But you like sex in unusual places," she says. "I mean, _hello_ , you had sex on the Ferris wheel." _God, I hope there's no one else in here._

"Could you say that a little louder, Shauna," I say as I flush the toilet. "I'm not sure the entire faction heard you."

"I could go into Four's office and use the PA system," she says as she comes out of her stall, a huge smile on her face.

"Zeke is rubbing off on you," I mutter.

"I do like when he rubs me," she says, wagging her brows. I can't help but chuckle as I roll my eyes. "But we're not talking about my sex life we're talking about yours. The Ferris wheel."

"Nobody would know about the Ferris wheel if your husband hadn't badgered it out of us," I say. "Nobody saw us. There's a big difference in thinking that you might get caught and getting caught. Believe me. Getting caught is _not_ fun."

"So why do it?" she asks.

"Excitement," I say with a shrug as we exit the Pire into the sweltering evening heat. I pull my phone out and send another text to Gavin and he responds immediately that everyone is good. "The bedroom is nice, don't get me wrong, but things can get," I try to think of the right word, "repetitive. It's good, wonderful even, but adding a little variety, a little spice just makes it better."

"Like I said, you two kill me," she says. "Who knew that two former Abnegation dependents would become the epitome of everything Dauntless."

"I wouldn't go that far," I say as we enter the hidden little courtyard.

'There you two are," Zeke says as he jumps to his feet. "We thought maybe you bailed on us."

"Never," Shauna says, immediately greeting him with a kiss.

"Hey there, beautiful," Tobias says. I walk past our friends and into my husband's outstretched arms.

"We really weren't gone that long, were we?" I ask.

"I thought maybe you two went to your apartment to pee," Zeke says over his shoulder. "Say, why do women use the bathroom in groups? Is that something you're taught or is it born in you?" Shauna and I look at each other and then back to her husband.

"What?" she asks.

"Is it against the woman's code to go to the bathroom by yourself?" he asks, like he's really pondering the answer.

"You're strange," I say then look back up at Tobias. "I hope you weren't worried about me."

"You know me," he says. My arms are resting on his shoulders as his are gathered at the small of my back. "I always worry about you."

"I think I like that about you," I say.

"Like?'

"All right," I giggle. "It's something I _love_ about you."

"I love you, too," he says. He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me softly but breaks away leaving me pouting. "So, are we ready, Zeke?"

"Yeah, I think it's dark enough," he says, looking around us.

"Dark?" Shauna and I say at the same time. Tobias lets me go and pulls his phone out while Zeke moves behind the tree. Shauna sidles up beside me, and we watch our husbands. Tobias sends a message to someone, and Zeke moves a cart I hadn't seen earlier into view.

"What is all this?" I ask as the pink twinkle lights suddenly fade to black.

"We're going to watch a movie," Zeke says. "Or two."

"Movie?" Shauna asks. "Out here? How?"

"You'll see, Sunshine." I watch Tobias and Zeke blow out the floating candles, making the space even darker when an odd squeak captures all our attention.

"Right on time," Tobias murmurs as a young girl I recognize as one of last year's newest members, Jenna, comes around the corner pushing a cart similar to the one Zeke rolled into place a few minutes ago but on a larger scale. On it is a popcorn machine, candy carousel, and a fountain pop dispenser. "You can park it right here." He points at the edge of the large blanket. "I'll make the popcorn if you get the movie started for us."

"Okay, Four," she says. She parks the cart and secures its wheels then heads to what I now see is a projector of some sort. While she readies the machine, I move to Tobias' side.

"Where are we going to watch this movie?" I ask. Tobias looks down at me and smiles. My breath catches in my throat. He looks so damn happy right now. It's nice to see him this way, relaxed and content. He hasn't acted this way since we received those damn pictures.

"You'll see, love," he says. "It's the biggest surprise of all. I hope you like it." I look around the relatively small space and don't see any kind of screen and can't figure out where we will watch this movie. "Why don't you sit down and relax? Do you want lemonade or root beer?"

"They both sound good but I think root beer would be better," I say. "And I want some of those cinnamon jellies and chocolate caramel dots. They'll go perfectly with the popcorn." My stomach rumbles and you wouldn't think that we just finished a hearty supper.

"That's quite a combination, love," he says. "Are you sure your stomach can handle it?"

"I'm feeling great right now, and it's what Button and Bean want," I say, shrugging my shoulders then both my hands move to cover my growing bump. "And what Button and Bean want, Button and Bean get."

"They are going to be so spoiled," he says, leaning in to kiss my neck after he dumps the hot, buttered popcorn into the base of the machine. Someone clears their throat, and I take a step away from my husband and turn toward the noise.

"Sorry to interrupt," Jenna says. "The movies are ready to go. All you have to do is push the red start button on the back. If you have any questions or if there are any issues, just let me know. I'll be back after my shift at the theater to clean up."

"Thank you, Jenna," Tobias says. "There will be a bonus in next week's payment for you. We appreciate your help getting this set up."

"It was no problem, Four," she says. "I was happy to help. Enjoy your evening everyone."

"Thanks," Zeke says and Shauna and I echo the sentiment.

"So, what are we watching?" Shauna asks.

"A couple thrillers," Tobias says. " _The Sixth Sense_ and _Shutter Island_. Zeke and I haven't seen them, so we hoped you two hadn't either. They were highly recommended by the staff at the theater."

"I haven't seen them," I say.

"Me either," Shauna says. "So how will this work?"

"You'll see," Zeke says with a shit-eating grin on his face. Resigning myself to the fact they aren't going to tell us, I lower myself to the blanket and get comfortable.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?" Tobias asks., kneeling before me.

"Just you," I softly say.

"You'll just have to wait for that until later tonight," he murmurs then he gives me a quick kiss.

"You're bad, baby," I say.

He leans closer and says, "I'll show you just how bad I can be later tonight." I cup his face and stare into his midnight eyes.

"I'm looking forward to it," I say then incline toward him, wanting another kiss but chuckling interrupts us. We slowly turn and look up at our audience.

"What?" we say in unison.

"You two need to get a room," Zeke guffaws.

"We will once the movies are over," Tobias brazenly says.

"Four!" I say, immediately going red. Our friends just laugh.

"Sorry, love," he says, dropping a kiss to the top of my head before getting to his feet. Shauna sits down beside me, and I can tell that Zeke and Tobias are exchanging words but they're quiet enough that we can't hear them.

"Sorry for my husband," Shauna says, rolling her eyes. "He loves to antagonize you and Four. He thinks you're easy targets but I loved that quick comeback from Four. He usually just growls."

"I know," I say, my eyes still on our guys. "His comeback surprised me though. He usually doesn't want to say anything to keep Zeke going."

"It's just us," she says. "You are among friends."

"I know," I sigh, looking at the ground. "It's still embarrassing."

"You're married. You're _pregnant_. We know you have sex."

"Shauna," I scoff. "Enough."

"All right," she says lying back on her elbows. "Are we going to watch a movie or what?"

"Give us a minute," Zeke says. "We're almost ready." Tobias puts a tray full of popcorn, candy, and drinks on the blanket then sits down beside me. Zeke goes to the projector and hits the button Jenna pointed out earlier then quickly joins us on the blanket. The machine whirls to life, sound booms around us, and images flicker on the side of the building. My hand rushes to my mouth to catch my gasp as my eyes widen.

"This is awesome!" Shauna cries, throwing her arms around her husband's neck.

"It is," I say, nodding in agreement. "I had no idea you could do something like this. It's like being in the theater but better. Thank you, Zeke. Thank you, Four. This is wonderful."

"Zeke got the idea from a movie he watched last week," Tobias says. "We thought you would like it. I'm glad we were right."

"The movie's starting," Shauna excitedly says and we quiet down and turn our attention to the side of the building. I snuggle into Tobias' side and munch on popcorn and candy as I get engrossed in the first film and then the next.

A warm breeze sweeps a stray hair across my face and my stomach lurches. I slowly breathe through my mouth a few times not wanting to miss the end of the movie but the nausea doesn't subside.

"Are you okay, love?" Tobias asks. "You look a little green."

"Do you smell that?" I ask, trying to keep my mind on the movie but quickly failing. That strange, familiar scent I smelled at the park is on the breeze. It's faint but it's definitely there.

"I don't smell anything," he says. I look toward Zeke and Shauna, and they both shake their heads, confused, worried expressions on their faces. I lean forward and stick my head between my knees and inhale deeply through my mouth and out through my nose. I wish I could pinpoint that odd smell. I know it's familiar but I just can't place where I've smelled it before.

"You okay, Tris?" Zeke asks.

"She's nauseated," Tobias says, rubbing my back. "Love, do you want to go home? We can always catch the end of this movie another time."

"No," I moan, breathing through the queasiness. I take a few more breaths and the nausea starts to dissipate. I relax into Tobias' side.

"Can I get you anything?" he asks.

"I need a drink," I say.

"Root beer or lemonade?" Zeke asks.

"I think lemonade is best," I say. "I wish we had some ginger ale."

"I'll go home and get you some," Tobias says, moving to get to his feet.

"No, baby," I say, grabbing hold of his arm and looking up.

"You're pale," he softly says. "I think we should call it a night."

"I really don't want to," I say, "but I think you're right." My stomach roils and my mouth floods with moisture.

"Let's pack it up," Shauna says.

"No," I vehemently say. "Stay and finish the movie. Just _don't_ tell us how it ends. We'll see you later."

"Don't worry about cleaning up," Tobias says, as he helps me to my feet. "Jenna will do that later. Let's go home, love."

"Bye, guys," I say.

"Feel better, Tris," Zeke says.

"I will," I say. "Thank you."

"Come on, love." I slip my hand into Tobias' and follow him around the corner into darkness.

"I'm so sorry, Tobias," I say.

"You have nothing to apologize for," he says. "What happened? I thought you were getting along pretty well."

"Remember a few weeks ago when I took the kids to the park to see my mom? I told you I smelled an odd scent and it made me sick?"

"I do remember you saying something about that," he says. "You smelled it again tonight?"

"Yeah," I say. "It's a familiar scent but I just can't place it, but whatever it is makes me nauseated as hell. I was feeling great up until then."

"I'm sorry, love," he says. "If I could take the morning sickness from you, I would."

"Aah." Tears well up in my eyes at the sweet sentiment. "You are such a good man. I love you so much."

"I love you, too," he says as he opens the door to the Pire for me. As I pass him, I give him a quick kiss. "Let's get you home so you can have some ginger ale. You're starting to get your color back but you're still too white for me."

"I'm always white."

"All right, smartass," he says. "Glad you're feeling better."

"Me, too. We have plans that can't be cancelled."

"Tris." He sounds pained.

"Believe me, if I weren't feeling well sex would be the last thing on my mind."

"I find that hard to believe," he says, "my little sex maniac."

"Okay, you got me," I giggle. "Sex would still be on my mind even if I wasn't feeling well but you'd be able to talk me out of it a hell of a lot easier."

"Good to know," he says, shaking his head as he unlocks our apartment door. The lights are low and the house is quiet when we walk in. I'm surprised Gavin isn't on the couch. "You get some ginger ale, and I'll look for Gavin."

"Okay," I say. "I'll follow you in a minute."

"Please take your time," he says. "You weren't feeling well that long ago. I don't want you pushing it."

"Okay," I say. "Now go." I watch as he disappears up the stairs then pour myself a glass of chilled ginger ale. I lean against the counter and rest my eyes as I sip the soothing liquid. I didn't even realize I was tired until right this minute.

"Tris," Gavin quietly says and my eyes fly open.

"Hi."

"Four needs you upstairs," he says and my heart sputters in my chest.

"What's wrong?" I say, immediately heading toward the stairs, the nausea forgotten.

"Tessa had a bad dream and it woke Teags up," he says. "I tried to get them back to sleep but I haven't had any luck."

"Oh," I say, calming some. "That's okay. It doesn't happen often but when it does it can be a long night."

"I'm sorry," he says.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," I say as I walk into the nursery. Both girls are crying on Tobias' lap. "Can you check on Tyler before you leave, Gavin? Sometimes they wake him up, too. If by chance he is, put him in our bed please."

"Okay, Tris," he says then leaves the nursery like it's the last place he wants to be right now.

"Mama," Tessa says, holding her arms out to me.

"Come here, little one," I say picking her up. Her little body is trembling and there are tears streaming down her face. "Did you have a bad dream?" She nods. "I'm so sorry, my sweet girl. Do you want to rock with Mommy?"

"Otay," she says. I look toward Tobias and Teagan and note that she's calmed down, although she looks like she won't be sleeping any time soon.

"How about we rock in Mommy and Daddy's room so Teags can get back to sleep? Say goodnight to Daddy and Teags."

"'Night, Dadda. 'Night, Teags."

"Sweet dreams, Pebbles. I love you," Tobias says as Teagan raises her little hand and waves at her sister.

"Love you, Dadda," she says then sniffles.

"Be good for Daddy, Teags," I say. I lean over and kiss her forehead. "I love you."

"Lub 'ou, Mama," she murmurs. Hopefully she'll be back to sleep in no time. I walk into my bedroom and find Tyler climbing into bed with Gavin's help.

"Did the crying wake you up, buddy?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says around a wide yawn.

"Tessa and I are going to sit right here," I say as I sit in the rocking chair. "You go back to sleep."

"Okay, Mommy," he says as he snuggles deep into Tobias' pillow.

"Thank you, Gavin," I whisper.

"I'm sorry about all this," he says.

"It's fine," I say. "Please don't worry about it. We'll talk to you later. Thank you for watching them tonight."

"You're welcome," he says as he backs out of the room then heads down the stairs.

"You need to go to sleep, little one," I quietly say as I pat her back. She's sprawled out across me with her head lying on my shoulder fighting sleep harder than I've ever seen her. It's like she's afraid to close her eyes. I can't help but wonder what scared her so much. I lightly graze my fingertips up and down her back as I hum softly. She whines for a little bit but it's not loud enough to disturb Tyler, who passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow. I lean my head back and close my eyes as I continue trying to get Tessa to sleep when an unexpected flash catches my attention. I immediately open my eyes and sit a little straighter, looking around the dark room when a low rumble sounds. _Shit!_

"Mommy?" Tyler says, lifting his head off the pillow. How in the world did that wake him up?

"I'm right here, buddy," I say, getting up from the chair and going to him. I sit on the side of the bed and run my hand down his arm. "It's okay."

"I scared," he says, his voice quaking. "I want you."

"Oh, Tyler," I sigh. I should have known this was coming with that first flash. My kids loathe thunderstorms. "Give me just a minute, okay? Tessa, can you lie down and snuggle with Tyler?"

"No," she firmly says. "Want you." Well, at least I'm wanted. Thankfully, Teags is with Tobias or she'd probably want me too.

"I want my Mama," Teags cries as Tobias carries her into the room. I guess I spoke too soon.

"Oh, no," I say.

"Yeah. How about we keep the kids with us tonight?" Tobias asks. "I think it will be the only way any of us get some sleep. I'll stay with them while you get ready for bed then I'll take my turn."

" _No!_ " Tyler screams at the top of his lungs, sitting straight up, and grabbing at me. "Don't leave me. _Don't leave me_." Tears stream down his distressed little face and his breaths are coming so hard he's practically hyperventilating.

"I'm not going anywhere, buddy," I say, hugging him tightly. "Can you go to Daddy, little one?" I try to transfer her from my arms to his but she won't budge. She starts crying, which in turn makes Teagan sob and Tyler go into hysterics. Witnessing my kids' meltdown chokes me up, and tears gather in my eyes but I refuse to let them fall. I look up at Tobias, and he just shrugs his shoulders. "Skootch over, buddy. Mommy's going to lie down with you." He moves closer to the middle of the bed, and I get in beside him, Tessa still in my arms. Tobias fluffs some pillows and put them behind me so I can recline against the headboard. I maneuver Tessa to the right and haul Tyler up against my body. He clings to me harder than he did the night the judge took him away from us.

"'Bout me?" Teags asks, her bottom lip quivering.

"There's room right here, Peanut," I say, motioning to the space right next to her sister. Tobias circles the bed and very gently lies our baby on my chest.

"I'll get your shoes for you," he says as he sits by my feet. He tosses my boots to the floor, removes my socks, then gives each foot a quick rub, sensing they hurt, which they do. Once I'm comfortable, he takes our quilt and pulls it up to our kids' ears then kisses each of their heads and tells them he loves them. He leans in and softly presses his lips to mine. "I'll admit this isn't how I pictured our night going."

"Me either," I whisper. I have one hand caressing Tyler's back and the other alternating between Tessa and Teagan's heads, trying to comfort my babies as flashes of lightening and rumbles of thunder continue outside our windows. Tyler's shaking like a leaf and the girls are softly whimpering.

"I'm going to get ready for bed. I won't be long," he says. "Later, if we can manage, you can change. Can I get you anything? Did you get enough ginger ale? How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I say. "I'm where I need to be, where I _want_ to be." I kiss each of the kids' heads. "I'm feeling better."

"Babies make you sick?" Tessa asks, looking up at me.

"No. This time it was a stinky smell," I say, wrinkling my nose remembering the sickeningly sweet smell.

"'Mell?" Teags asks.

"Yeah."

"'Kay," she says, closing her eyes.

"All of you close your eyes," I say. "Mommy has you and I promise nothing will ever happen while I have you. I love you so much." I watch as Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan each slowly close their eyes and relax into me. They tense each time it thunders but at least the crying has stopped. I relax into the pillows and hum, hoping the kids fall asleep soon. They'll be bears tomorrow if they don't. Movement catches my attention out of the corner of my eye, and I watch as Tobias enters the room wearing nothing but a pair of sleep shorts. I close my eyes and try to control my suddenly erratic breathing. Now is definitely not the time to be aroused by my husband. I feel the bed dip and the quilt move.

"How long have they been asleep?" he asks.

"Not long," I say. I slowly open my eyes and look at him. "We could try to move them but I'm afraid they'd wake up and start crying all over again."

"How are you doing?" he asks. "Do you think we can move them so you can change into some pajamas?"

"I do have to use the bathroom," I say, "but I don't want to wake them."

"Let me try to get Tyler," he says. He slips one hand beneath our son then pries his fingers off my arm and rolls him his way. Tyler stirs momentarily but Tobias soothes him, and he falls right back to sleep. I slowly roll toward my left and first lie Teagan next to Tyler then put Tessa next to her sister. I gently sit up but don't move any further when Tessa's eyes flutter open.

"Mama," she whines.

"Mommy has to go potty," I whisper.

"No go," she says, crocodile tears in her eyes.

"Come with me, little one," I say. It's not like I haven't had one or two kids on my lap when I've went to the bathroom before. I am a mom after all. I slip out of bed then pull her into my arms. She lays her head on my shoulder and her breathing evens out before I get into the bathroom. Somehow, I manage to relieve myself without waking her back up. I carry her back into the bedroom then fish out a pair of sleep shorts and a cami out of the dresser.

"Do you need some help?" Tobias asks.

"Yeah," I say. He slides out of bed and I gently transfer Tessa into her father's arms. She whines a little but relaxes into his chest. I take advantage of the alone moment and excuse myself to go downstairs and get another glass of ginger ale and a couple ginger cookies.

"Are you all right, love?" he asks when I reenter the bedroom.

"I'm a little queasy," I say, rubbing my bump. "This will help." I pick my PJs up off the end of the bed and head toward the bathroom. "I'll be right back." I quickly change into the shorts and cami, take down and brush my hair out, then wash my face. The lights flicker then the loudest crack of thunder I've heard all night rattles the walls. I close my eyes and hold my breath, hoping the surge in the storm doesn't wake the kids but soon I hear Tyler demanding to know where I am just as the girls start crying. I hang my head. _This is going to be one hell of a long night._


	52. Chapter 52

I'm lying in bed, drifting in and out of consciousness. My rational brain knows I should get up and face the day but after last night, all I want to do is lie here and get as much rest as possible. I told the kids that they were going to be grumpy today if they didn't calm down and go to sleep. What I failed to realize was I might be just as out of sorts for not getting enough rest as they would be.

"I know you want to say goodbye, guys, but Mommy is still asleep," I hear Tobias say in a hushed voice. _Goodbye?_ The word penetrates the thick fog of sleep, and I pry my heavy lids open I blink a few times to get my eyes to focus and see my husband and kids just on the other side of my open bedroom door.

"I'm awake," I croak. Four pairs of blue eyes look my way and beam. Before I get a chance to sit up, Tyler and Tessa crawl into bed and practically attack me. Tobias picks up Teags and sets her down in the middle of the melee. I'm trying to pick out what they're saying, I'm usually pretty good at it, but my exhausted brain can't keep up.

"Hey guys, settle down," Tobias says, coming to my rescue. Sometimes I swear that man can read my mind. "Maybe you can talk one at a time."

"I'm going to go play with Zane," Tyler says butting in before Tessa can speak. She frowns at her brother. "He invited me over today. I don't think it's gonna storm no more." His brilliant smile fades then he looks over his shoulder at his father.

"I checked the forecast, buddy," he says, lovingly ruffling his hair. "It's supposed to rain all day but the storm is definitely over. If for some reason they got it wrong, you can come right home. I promise." That makes our boy feel better, and his sunny disposition practically lights the room.

"I go wit Yiam," Teags says, impishly grinning. She's excitedly bouncing up and down on my thighs. "We pay. I lub him." An involuntary growl emits from Tobias' chest. At least I hope it's involuntary. I chuckle and shake my head.

"Mama, Mama!" Tessa says, patting my arm to get my attention.

"What is it, little one?" I ask, turning her way.

"I go with Avey and Cal," she proudly announces. " _All_ day."

"What are you going to do with Avery and Callen?" I ask. She shrugs her shoulders. "You don't know?"

"No," she says. "I just go."

"Okay," I say. I look up at Tobias and he mouths, "It's a surprise." I nod.

"They wanted to say goodbye before they left," he says. "I hope we didn't wake you."

"I was ready to get out of bed anyway," I say, finally getting myself into a sitting position. "When are you guys leaving?" They start talking at once again. "Tyler?"

"As soon as Zane eats breakfast. I already ate. I had eggs and bacon and toast and juice and milk and so did Tess and Teags." He gulps down a huge breath because he just said all that in one.

"That sounds good, buddy," I say. "What about you Tessa?"

"I go soon," she says. "Avey pick me up."

"Teags?" I ask. It's her turn to shrug her shoulders.

"She can go next door anytime," Tobias says.

"Go now," she insists as her eyes light up.

"I thought you wanted to say bye to Mommy," he says with a chuckle.

"Bye, Mama," she hurriedly says. "Lub 'ou. Kiss." I manage to give her a kiss before she struggles around her sister to get off the bed. My heart stalls when I see her start to fall but, thankfully, Tobias catches her.

"Ta da," he says as he sets her on her feet with a flourish.

"Tanks, Dadda," she laughs. "Go." She keeps looking at the door. "Go, peas."

"All right, you little stinker," he says. "I'll be right back." He easily picks our youngest daughter up, and she waves at me over her father's shoulder until they are out of sight.

"Well, I'm going to miss you guys today," I say. I wrap one arm around Tyler and one around Tessa and bring them closer to my body. I kiss each of their heads and then tickle them a little. They both giggle uncontrollably.

"We'll miss you, too, Mommy," Tyler says.

"Yeah," Tessa agrees. "Miss you. Love you."

"I love you both so much," I say. They hug me tightly.

"You have fun playing with Zane, buddy," I say.

"I will," he says. "I wanted to go to the park but it's raining." He frowns. "We'll probably just play in his room."

"You be good," I say. "Listen to Stella and Zander and mind your manners. And you listen to Avery and Callen, Tessa. You both know your rules." They nod. "Do you know what time you're coming home?" I'm glad Tobias figured out a way for us to be alone today, it's been entirely too long, but my stomach tightens at the thought of not having my kids within my sight again today.

"We're going to meet in the cafeteria at 6:00," Tobias says from the doorway.

"Well, that didn't take very long," I say.

"The minute Christina opened the door, Liam rushed out to meet Teagan, and they ran off together," he says. "I swear I saw the future flash before my eyes in that second, Tris. You do realize one day our daughter is going to run off with him for good." I chuckle and shake my head. Like usual, his skewed perception of their relationship borders on insanity. "You mock me, my love, but you'll see."

"Is Teags leaving for good?" Tyler asks, distressed.

"I no want her to go," Tessa says, her bottom lip trembling. "I love hew. She my sissy." I narrow my eyes at my husband. He did this. He needs to fix it.

"Of course, she's coming home. She's too little to leave home yet," he says as he sits on the edge of the bed. "I didn't mean right now. I just think that when Teagan is all grown up she's going to fall in love with Liam and they'll get married." I watch Tyler and Tessa's faces very carefully.

"You mean they will kiss and hug and sleep in the same bed like you and Mommy do?" Tyler asks, disgusted. I swallow the laugh that bubbles up.

"'Ucky," Tessa says, wrinkling her nose. "No kiss."

"You remember that, Pebbles," he says as he picks her up. "No kissing boys … _ever_."

"That's right, little one," I say. "They're _yucky_." Tobias smirks at me and I wink.

"'Ucky!" she squeals as Tobias peppers kisses on her cheek.

"I'm not yucky am I, Mommy?" Tyler asks.

"No, buddy," I say. "You will never be yucky. I love your kisses." He smiles and leans over and gives me a big, wet smack on the lips just as the doorbell rings.

"That should be Stella and Avery," Tobias says.

"I don't want Tess to come with me," Tyler pouts.

"Hey," Tessa indignantly says. "I not go wit you. I go wit Avey."

"Neither of you will be going anywhere if you don't behave," I say.

"Sorry, Mommy," Tyler says as Tessa says, "Sowwy."

"Quick! Say bye to Mommy," Tobias says. They both hurriedly give me kisses and hugs then jump into their father's arms nearly giving me a heart attack. They all disappear down the stairs just as the doorbell rings again. I sit back and stretch my arms up over my head. I definitely should get up and use the bathroom, especially before Tobias gets back. I stretch one last time then manage to climb out of bed.

I playfully leave a trail of my night clothes on the way to the bathroom. First, I reach into the shower enclosure and turn on the hot water to warm it up then I use the toilet. Anticipation builds as I enter the shower, knowing Tobias will be joining me any minute. I stand under the rainfall showerhead and let the hot water cascade over my tired body. When I hear the door open, I can't hide my smile.

"It's about time," I huskily say, looking over my shoulder at my handsome husband. I don't quite recognize my own voice.

"Were you waiting for me, love?" he asks as he wraps his arms around my waist. I feel his arousal pressed against my back.

"Mm-hm," I murmur as he sweeps my wet hair over one shoulder. I relax into his body, savoring the feel of his lips as they glide along my slick skin, dropping soft kisses as they go right to the spot below my ear that's hardwired to my throbbing core. His hands slide over my belly and cup my aching breasts. I groan as he massages the heavy mounds then rolls the pebbled nipples between his thumbs and fingers. It feels so good when he touches me like this.

I turn in his arms, momentarily surprising him, and find his lips with mine. We're tender one second and aggressive the next. We can't keep our hands off each other. He's sliding his rough fingertips through my moist folds as I glide my tight fist up and down his engorged shaft. Neither one of us have what it takes to slow things down right now. We're all insistent lips, gnashing teeth, panting breath, and aggressive caresses.

Tobias picks me straight up, and I tightly wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he turns and presses me up against the wall. A shiver moves through me but not from the cold, wet tile. It's from his thorough possession of my body. He enters me in one forceful drive of his hips and keeps up a near-violent, needy pace. I tear my lips from his and cry out with every powerful thrust.

"I need you to come for me, love," he spits between gritted teeth. His grip on my backside tightens and his already frantic pace quickens. I've been chasing my release since he invaded my body, but I'm not quite there. I glide one hand between us and feel him as he repeatedly enters me, causing him to groan painfully. He's definitely close. I close my eyes and roughly circle my nubbin, pretending it's Tobias' fingers instead of my own as I meet each of his powerful thrusts. "Come. _Now!_ "

I don't know if it's his heated command, the added stimulation of my own hand, or just his impressive lovemaking skill but I tumble over the edge just as he releases himself inside of me. He grunts and groans as I whimper and moan, my tight sheath uncontrollably spasming around his thick shaft as he pulsates inside me. His thrusts slow and finally cease. He buries his face in my neck, raggedly panting against my damp, heated skin. I slide my hand from between us and tightly wrap my arms around his neck. I repeatedly press kisses to the top of his head as we stand here, letting our breathing slow, our hearts beating as one.

"So, boys are yucky, huh?" Tobias asks. He leans back and gives me a wicked grin.

"That's right," I say with a giggle.

"I don't think you thought there was anything yucky about me a couple moments ago when I was buried deep inside you."

"You're still buried deep inside me," I murmur against his lips. I flex around him and he groans. "And you're right. I don't find anything yucky about you. You're not a boy, Tobias. You're all man, baby."

"That's right, love," he says, kissing me deeply.

"Thank you," I breathlessly say after he reluctantly drags his lips from mine.

"No need to thank me," he says as he pulls out of me. I wince and his face contorts from blissful satisfaction to fretful concern. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," I say. He stares me down until I can't help but tell him the absolute truth. "You didn't hurt me but you didn't exactly give me time to adjust either. But I was right there with you the whole time, Tobias. I was giving just as good as I got. And I was thanking you for arranging for the kids to be out today. Don't ruin this."

"I can be a bit of a downer sometimes, can't I?" he says. He runs his hand up my arm, into my hair, and then tilts my chin up. "I never want to hurt you, Tris. _That_ will never change." He runs his free hand between us and softly massages my sex all the while closely studying my face. I don't think he means for his touch to be arousing but it is. "I'm sorry I didn't give you the time you needed to adjust to me being inside you. It had been a while. I should have known better. But you could have told me. I would have stopped and given you the time."

"I didn't want you to stop," I moan. My mouth drops open and my breathing increases. His downtrodden expression switches on a dime, and his lips turn up into a wicked grin.

"Does this feel good?"

"Yeah," I mumble as I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. I lean my head back against the tile wall, and he lowers his lips to my ear. He sucks and nibbles then licks the sensitive skin, never once adjusting the soft touch between my legs. My hips begin to sway in time with his gentle stroking. " _No_ ," I call out when he abruptly stops.

"Do you want to stay in the shower all day?" he huskily asks.

"No, but I really want you to finish what you just started," I pout. " _Please_." I grab his hand and put it back where it was mere seconds ago but he refuses to give me what I want.

"Do you want to come?" he asks, his lips pressed against my ear. My heart throbs painfully in my chest as I pant. I nod. "Then tell me what you want, Mrs. Eaton."

"I _want_ you to make me come, Tobias," I say. "I was _so_ close."

"How?" I glance up at him.

" _What?_ "

"How do you want me to make you come?"

"You know," I murmur.

"Say the words, Tris, and I'll do anything you want."

"Anything?"

" _Anything_." Hmm.

"I want you to rub my … clit with your fingers until I come," I practically whisper. The redness in my skin isn't coming from the hot water any longer. He lowers his forehead to mine.

"Your wish is my command. Anything you want today is yours, you just have to say the words." That sounds like a plan I can get behind.

"Okay." He moves his lips to my neck as his fingers find my pulsating nub again. I push all other thoughts aside and concentrate on his rough fingers rhythmically gliding over the sensitive bundle of nerves. It feels so good. "Kiss me, Tobias," I mutter. His lips land on mine with a hungry urgency. After a few moments he thrusts his tongue into my mouth and mates it with mine. I grasp his hips tighter as he circles my nubbin faster and harder. I pull my mouth from his and drag in a ragged breath.

"You're so sexy when you're about to come for me," he says as his fingers bring me closer to ecstasy.

"Oh, God, baby!" My heart painfully hammers in my chest. " _Shit!_ " Each breath I manage is erratic and labored. " _Tobias, baby!_ " My core clenches and my nubbin aches. "Shit, I'm gonna come." I detonate. A scream slices through the steam, and it takes me a moment to realize it's coming from me. I sag against Tobias, afraid that my legs will go out from under me. He wraps one strong arm around my waist, keeping me on my feet, but his fingers don't stop. He carries me through my release as my body trembles against his. Just as I'm about to tell him I can't take anymore, he moves his hand away. I wilt into his arms. He moves us to the shower seat and sits me across his lap. I will my heartrate to return to normal, cherishing the feel of his loving arms around me while his fingertips stroke up and down my back.

"I love you, Mrs. Eaton," he says then he softly kisses my lips.

"I love you, too, Mr. Eaton," I say.

"Are you hungry?" he asks.

"Starving," I say.

"Well, we better finish our shower then," he says. "I'll make us some breakfast when we're done." He slowly helps me to my feet, allowing me to test my legs first, then follows me up. "I'm hungry, too."

"So where was Tessa going?" I ask as Tobias reaches for my shampoo. "You said it was a surprise."

"Yeah, one I have a feeling isn't going to go over too well with our son based on the way he kept glaring at his sister as they left," he says as he massages a thick lather into my hair.

"What do my mean?" I moan. I love when he shampoos my hair. It's intimate without being sexual.

"Well, the Parrish's took the kids to a children's carnival at the Navy Pier. Will, Liam, and Teags are going to meet them there. He asks, "Are you okay?" when I tense beneath his fingertips. I turn and look up at him.

"You let the kids leave the compound without discussing it with me first?" He sighs.

"Tris, it's okay," he says, obviously bracing for an argument. "They are perfectly safe. They are with some of our nearest and dearest friends. Plus, I had Simon and Tony assign extra staff around the Pier today. Not only because of our kids but all the kids who will be there today."

"What kind of carnival?" I ask, turning my back to him so he can't see my building panic.

"Amity set it up in conjunction with the farmer's market," he says as he runs the hand shower all over my head, rinsing the shampoo. "There will be balloon animals, face painting, children's games, a puppet show, and a small petting zoo."

"Petting zoo?" I've never heard of that.

"I think it's mostly farm animals the kids can interact with."

"Hhm. That sounds like fun," I say.

"It will be," he says as he runs conditioner through my tresses. "I can tell you're worried. I should have discussed it with you first. I'm sorry. We can get dressed and go." My first instinct is to say yes but then I really think about what he just said. They are with people I wholeheartedly trust and Tobias assigned extra security. They're safe. And he arranged for us to be alone.

"No, baby," I say. "I want to stay home with you. We need this time, just me and you."

"Are you sure?" he asks, sounding relieved. He gently tilts my head back to rinse out the conditioner.

"Positive," I say.

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you first about the kids leaving the compound," he says after he finishes.

"To be honest, I don't know how I feel about that," I say. I reach for his bodywash and pour a large amount onto a washcloth. I start at his shoulders with the intention of working my way down. "I'm kind of upset but on the other hand, it was thoughtful of you to surprise me. I just wish you would have talked to me first but there's nothing we can do about that now."

"Don't be mad." I raise my eyes to his, and I can tell he's truly sorry for making me upset.

"It's okay, baby," I say, lightly caressing his cheek. "I'm not mad. And I'll try not to worry too much about the kids. I have to get used to this feeling anyway since I have to go to work tomorrow. It's just so hard since we got those _damn_ pictures. If only we knew what they meant."

"I understand," he says. He turns so I can wash his back. "I swear when I find whoever did this to us, I'm going to kill them." A growl literally rips from his chest, and if I didn't know him so well, it would scare me.

"You'll have to get in line," I snarl, just as pissed as he is.

"Do you know how sexy you are when you get all worked up?" he asks as he turns back my way, a small grin on his lips.

"Are you trying to distract me, Mr. Eaton?" I ask, pointing at the shower seat, indicting he should sit down. I pour a dollop of shampoo into my palm then work my fingers into his hair.

"Would I do that?" he asks. He rests his hands on my hips and gently pulls me forward. I work my fingers into his scalp and he moans.

"Does that feel good?" I ask.

"Incredible," he murmurs.

"Baby, whatcha doin'?" I ask when he leans forward and places feather-light kisses along my abdomen.

"Kissing you," he murmurs, never once taking his mouth off my heated skin. I let my head hang back and my eyes close as my fingers work through his hair. "Your body has always turned me on," his hands cradle our growing babies, "but when you're carrying my child, it absolutely amazes me. It gives and changes, making room for new life. I can't imagine what you go through but I find it incredibly sexy. You amaze me, my love."

"You're so sweet, Tobias," I say. "Tilt your head back, baby." After I rinse the shampoo out of his hair with the hand wand, I lean down and press my lips to his.

"Mm," he moans as I slip my tongue into his mouth.

"We better finish this shower before things get out of control again," I say then give him another kiss.

"Would that be a bad thing?" He runs his hands to my backside and pulls me close. His mouth finds my breast and my breath hitches in my throat.

"No," I moan as I cup his head, "but I'm hungry and, if you remember, so are you."

"You're right," he says, releasing me. "You've made me work up an appetite."

"And I plan to do it all over again after breakfast," I say, "but first we've got to get out of the shower."

"I think I said that about, oh, half-an-hour ago," he says with a deep laugh.

"I think I remember that," I say. "You tried to leave me hanging."

"Would I do that?" he asks as he gets to his feet. He runs conditioner through his hair as I quickly wash my body from head to toe.

"You did do that," I say.

"I apologize, milady," he says, bowing at the waist, which makes me giggle.

"You sure are in a good mood," I say as I turn the water off.

"I got laid," he says, as he nips at my shoulder.

" _Tobias!_ " He just chuckles.

"Does that offend you, love?" he asks as he hands me a towel. His tone is serious but there's a mischievous glint in his eye.

"No," I immediately say without a thought. "I guess it just shocked me. You don't usually say things like that. You've been saying a lot of things you don't usually say like the vasectomy comment last night. I'm glad to see that you're coming around to my way of thinking, but we need to discuss it more before you announce it to a room full of our friends. Then there was the remark about us getting a room."

"I wanted to get a room," he says sexily leering at me, "but let's not talk about a vasectomy if you want my man parts to work anymore today." I let out a little chuckle. Man parts.

"I definitely want your man parts working," I say. "I have plans for you."

"I like the sound of that," he says. I wrap my hair tightly in the towel then instead of handing me another, Tobias starts running the fluffy material all over my body.

"I like being pampered," I sigh once he deems me dry enough.

"You deserve being spoiled once in a while," he says.

"Only once in a while?"

"Only on the days you give me sex."

"Tobias! What's gotten into you?"

"I'd say you but in truth," he leans over and presses his lips to mine, "I got into you." I stand here speechless watching as he finishes drying himself. My mouth goes dry when he drops his towel to the floor, turns around, and stalks out of the bathroom … buck naked.

"You are a naughty boy," I growl out after him. He laughs heartily. I pick up his towel and put it and mine on the towel bar to dry then head into the bedroom. He's sliding a pair of sleep pants over his hips. "Awe, you ruined the scenery." He chuckles as he opens one of the dresser drawers. He rifles through it for a moment then finally retrieves something. He straightens and tosses it my way. It's one of his old t-shirts. I slip it over my head and he grins.

"Now look who's ruining the scenery," he says, shaking his head, tsking.

"Turnabout's fair play," I say, patting his stubbled cheek.

"You're getting sassy," he says as he takes my hand. "I'm not sure I should let you hang out with Zeke anymore."

" _I'm_ getting sassy?" I scoff. He glances back at me over his shoulder with a sexy grin as we descend the stairs. "You've been full of it all day." A slow smile unfurls on his lips as we enter the kitchen and I shake my head.

"So, love, would you like bacon and eggs for breakfast or does something else sound good?"

"Bacon, eggs, and toast," I say. "Maybe some fruit, too." I run a hand over my swelling abdomen. "Hopefully, Button and Bean will let me eat today."

"I hope so, too. It kills me a little each time I have to watch you face down in the toilet, knowing there isn't a damn thing I can do to help you," he says.

"You help a lot just by being there for me," I say. "I love you for that and many other things."

"I love you, too," he says. "You sit here, and I'll fix us breakfast." He lifts me onto the counter beside the stove after a quick kiss. My eyes follow him around the room as he retrieves everything he needs to make us breakfast. If my stomach wasn't rumbling with hunger, another hungry part of me would take over. I definitely love my man in the kitchen.

"Hey, baby?" I ask when a random thought pops into my head. He looks up from his task. "Is there some certain mundane thing that I do that inexplicably turns you on?"

"Um, let me think," he says, pondering my question. "There's not much about you that doesn't turn me on, Tris. Why do you ask?"

"I think you know why," I say, leaning over and nibbling and then kissing him on the chin. "You in the kitchen is like catnip to a kitten. You drive me _crazy_ , and it's not like you're doing anything special but damn you are the sexiest man in the world when you step up to the stove with a spatula in your hand."

"That sounds kind of dirty," he says, wagging his eyebrows.

"You definitely have been spending too much time with your best friend," I murmur, rolling my eyes.

"I'm flattered that me cooking arouses you," he says. "I love how hot and bothered you get. That's why I like having you sit there while I'm cooking. We may not be able to do anything about it most times but it turns you into a wildcat in the bedroom that night."

"You're killing me, baby," I moan. "If I weren't starving, I'd rip off your pants and give you the best damn blowjob of your life." His hand momentarily stops midair then beats the eggs with a renewed vigor.

"That's impossible," he says. I recoil as if he just slapped me across the face. He notices and removes our eggs from above the flames. He steps up in front of me and takes my hands in his. "That's not what I meant, love."

"What did you mean," I whisper, hurt audible in my voice.

"Your skill has greatly improved since that time in the shower but the first time you knelt in front of me and took my in your mouth," he leans in and kisses me softly, "was and will always be, as you put it, the best damn blowjob of my life. You've surprised me in so many ways since you jumped into Dauntless but that was one of the biggest by far."

"Why?" I ask, genuinely not understanding.

"First of all, you did it without me asking," he says. "It was something I never thought we'd share."

"Why not?"

"In listening to the other guys, it's definitely not something all girls like doing," he says. "I had no intention of ever making you do it."

"We aren't just anyone, Tobias," I say. "We're husband and wife, best friends, lovers, soul mates. I can't speak for anyone else, but I can't imagine not wanting to give you all the pleasure you deserve. So, forget about what you've heard from your friends and concentrate on what's right here before you. A willing and able partner who wants to give you the second-best damn blowjob of your life."

"God, I love you," he says. "We'll save that for later."

"Okay and I love you, too." He gives me a quick kiss then steps back to the stove. After a couple minutes, he plates the bacon, eggs, and toast, which he perfectly timed to finish all at once, pours us each a glass of orange juice, and then helps me off the counter. We each carry our plates to the table and sit down.

"So, we're going to the cafeteria for supper?" I ask when we're nearly finished with our meal. That's unusual since it's Sunday, and we save that for a home-cooked meal if at all possible.

"Yeah," he says. "I figured it was the easiest way to get all the kids back at once."

"Thanks again for doing that," I say.

"After the storm last night, we both needed some alone time," he says. "You probably want a nap."

"Maybe after a couple more rounds with my husband."

"That can be arranged." He gives me a sexy grin, a quick kiss, then starts clearing the table. I help.

"I love our kids but I miss lazy, naked Sundays," I say, daydreaming about the very beginning of our relationship when we would stay in bed, making love on Sundays. "We got what, a month's worth before Tyler came to live with us and that many more since?"

"That sounds about right," he says as he wipes off the counters. "We better enjoy today while we can."

"Well, I think that about does it in here," I say, looking around our sparkling kitchen. "Thank you for the wonderful breakfast." He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me.

"It was my pleasure." He glides his mouth up my neck to my ear. I try to relax into his embrace but a subject that's been on my mind for a while scratches at my brain.

"I want to talk about something before we get too carried away," I murmur.

"What's that?" he asks, raking his teeth along the delicate skin of my neck. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I'm going to need all my courage for this conversation.

"Anal sex," I say, my voice soft but strong. I'm glad my back is too him because I know my face just went uber red. His lips still against my skin then he wrenches back and turns me around so I'm looking at him. "We haven't talked about it since I told you about what happened in the training room that night. I think we should talk more about it. If you want to, that is."

"Okay," he slowly says. He takes me by the hand and leads me to the couch. We sit side-by-side, our bodies angled so our knees are touching. "Have you been thinking about it?"

"Yes," I say. "I want to experience everything there is to experience with you." He carefully studies me. I wonder if he sees how I'm feeling right now: nervous, intrigued, excited, _scared_. He reaches out and cups my face.

"You really want to try, don't you?" He seems stupefied.

"Yes."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled you want to try but I'd like to know why," he says. "And just so you know, no matter what we decide right now, nothing is going to happen today so you can calm down."

'How did you know I'm nervous?" I ask. He places his hand over my left breast.

"Your heart is racing, love," he says. My heart is pounding so hard I'm afraid it might break a rib. "So why do you want to try it?"

"Because the thought intrigues me," I say. "And because you want to. But mainly because I love you, Tobias. We've shared so much together. I truly want to experience everything there is with you." He lets out a breath I didn't know he was holding.

"I'm glad it's not just for me," he says, touching his lips to mine for a soft kiss. "We'll take it slow. Talk about it more before we go there. Thank you."

"Baby, you've given me so much, and you ask for very little in return," I say. "I want to try this with you but only because it's you. I love you."

"How did I get so lucky?" he asks. His hard length twitches beneath me, and I slowly grind against him, making him moan.

"I think we're both extraordinarily lucky to have found each other," I say. "I thank God every day for leading me to Dauntless, leading me to my true self, leading me to you."

"I'm all yours, my love," he heatedly says. "Only yours." He cups the back of my neck and drags my mouth to his. The kiss is teasing and sensual but soon becomes savage and needy with our tongues twisting and tangling together. "I want you so much," he says his voice rough as sandpaper. He tears the t-shirt he gave me up and off my body leaving me bare and trembling on his lap. He tosses it to the floor without a second thought. He stands, twists, and gently lays me on the couch. My thighs part and he settles between them. He murmurs words of love and adoration against my heated skin as he kisses his way down to my exposed chest. He palms one aching mound while he slowly laps at the pebbled peak of the other. I bring my hand to his head, pulling him closer, never wanting this sensation to end. My core throbs relentlessly as he gently tugs on the sensitive nipple with his teeth, a wicked gleam in his eyes. I moan and writhe as he thoroughly explores every inch of my breasts with his mouth and hands. He brings me to the edge and keeps me there, and he's only touching my chest.

I sigh when he abandons my aching breasts and moves down to my swollen abdomen. He gently runs his hands around as he places soft, open-mouthed kisses over the bump. I reach out and caress his cheek when I hear his murmured words of love to our unborn babies. He covers my hand with his then turns his head and kisses each fingertip and my heart swells.

He moves further down still, smattering kisses along the way. He puts one of my legs over his shoulder and grasps my knee with the other and moves it closer to my heaving chest. The thrill of anticipation courses through my body. He glances up and pins me with his heated gaze. My tongue darts out and moistens my suddenly-parched lips as we stare at one another. He kisses the inside of my left knee and then my right, never taking his eyes off mine.

"Quit teasing, baby," I groan.

"Would I do that?" he asks.

"You're doing it right now," I say. Then I remember his earlier instruction. If I want something, all I have to do is ask. "Put your mouth here." I run my fingers over my moist opening. " _Please!_ "

"Anything for you, love," he says. I melt into the couch cushions with a sigh when he very slowly and very methodically licks all over my sex, faithfully avoiding my aching bundle of nerves. He's always taken great care to make sure that I come hard and come often but something seems different right now. He's taking his sweet time like he's savoring a fine wine, driving me out of my mind. Every time I think I know what's coming next, he changes direction.

"So good," I murmur as I run my hands over my naked chest and belly then tangle my fingers in his unruly hair. The intensity in his eyes causes a shiver. Every time he goes down on me is great but he's savoring every inch of my flesh, making me ache with desire. I roughly massage his scalp as his tongue continuously moves, bringing me closer to release. He licks all around my nubbin with just the tip then down through my moist folds, sucking the lips into his mouth one at a time and then both at once. My needy nub throbs painfully from being ignored.

He finally relents and gives my body what it's practically screaming for. I let out a long, torturous groan and my hips buck up to meet his mouth of their own accord. He immediately firms up his grip and pulls me closer to him. He tightly wraps his arms around both my legs, effectively keeping pinned in place as he solely concentrates on the aching bundle of nerves.

"Oh, God, Tobias," I moan as I tighten my fists in his hair, pushing his face closer to my core. He holds me a little tighter and his tongue becomes more aggressive, finding the sweet spot that's known to catapult me into another realm. My heart feels like it's trying to beat its way out of my chest, and my lungs work painfully hard to get the air I need. Every time my release is in reach, he changes up his touch, torturing me with pleasure. " _Please_ , baby. I need to come. _Please!_ " He takes pity on me ad attacks the throbbing bundle with everything he's got. I scream as I arch off the couch, my whole body heaving as the release works its way through me. When I flop back, replete, Tobias slows then stops. My legs throb where he was holding me, and I know I'll probably have bruises but I don't give a shit. That was one hell of an orgasm or twelve. I'm not entirely sure. I lost all sense of time and space there for a moment or maybe it was an hour. Like I said, I don't know.

He sits back on his heels and stares down at me. There's a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead – he must have been working hard – and a sheen of something else on his chin. I feel a blush spread across my whole body when he licks his lips and winks, a cocky look shining in his eyes. He leans over me and sensually presses his lips to mine. He slowly kisses me then presses his tongue through my parted lips and meets mine in a sensuous tango. I can taste myself on his mouth, and I moan deeply, feeling the flame deep in my core reignite.

"Baby, I need you inside of me," I moan against his lips.

"How do you want me, love?" he asks.

"From behind," I say, not embarrassed to ask for what I want right now. " _Hard_."

"You want it rough?"

"I need you to make this ache go away," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Make me scream."


	53. Chapter 53

Tobias and I are lazily lying on a large pile of floor pillows in the sunroom after making love again. We've had each other so many times and in so many different ways, I've lost track. Right now, he's on his back with his fingertips repeatedly threading through my tangled hair, and I'm on my tummy between his legs with my head resting on his stomach. My fingers are idly tracing his Dauntless flames tattoo. I should be absolutely exhausted from a lack of sleep and overexertion but instead, I'm feeling extremely content. We've laughed, talked, and loved for a few precious hours, just being lovers instead of Mommy and Daddy.

"Love?"

"Hhm?"

"What has you so far away?" he worriedly asks. "I've been talking to you for like five minutes and you're a million miles away. Are you still worried about the kids being at the Navy Pier without us?" I rest my chin on my folded hands and look up at my husband. The anxiety splayed across his face tightens my stomach and not in a good way.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I'm not any more worried about the kids than usual. I guess I was just thinking about how nice it's been today, just you and me here like this." His abs tighten beneath my lips when I give him a soft kiss just below his navel.

"It's been a great day, Mrs. Eaton," he says, his facial features softening and nothing but love radiates from his eyes. I lean into his palm when he cups my cheek and runs his thumb across my bottom lip. "I don't know what my favorite part was though, being inside you or just lying here with you like this, laughing and talking."

"I think it might be a tie, Mr. Eaton," I say, quickly turning and kissing his palm. "Although, this is quite nice. How often do we get the chance to laze around in the middle of the day with no clothes on?"

"We could become nudists." Mischief lights his bright eyes, and I can't help but laugh.

"Yeah, right. You'd be the one explaining to the kids why you are aroused all the time though."

"True," he says with a deep chuckle. "I get hard every time I see your sexy little naked body." A sexy growl falls off his lips.

"I'm not going to be little for very long," I scoff. "These babies only weigh a few ounces each, and I'm getting bigger by the day."

"And you'll still be the most beautiful woman in the compound," he says. "Hell, the city."

"You're such a charmer," I say. "You remember that when I'm as big as a barn, mister." He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"I remember you thinking you were huge when you were pregnant with Teagan," he says, shaking his head. "I thought you were incredibly sexy. I love when you're fit and lean but I also love when your body is swollen with new life. It doesn't matter what you look like, love. You are _my_ Tris, and I will always find you sexy and irresistible."

"I don't know if I want to cry or jump you right now," I say.

"Jump away, my love," he says, a cocky grin spreading across his face.

"You are such a naughty boy," I say before we share a laugh. "We really needed this today, Tobias."

"Yeah, we did," he murmurs.

"Thank you for encouraging me go out last night. We needed that, too, and I had a wonderful time. We can't forget to finish that movie. I want to know what happens."

"I already talked to the theater, and we can watch it anytime we want," he says.

"Then it's a date," I say.

"Speaking of dates," he says, "and this has absolutely _nothing_ to do with sex, even though the past few hours have been fantastic, we've gotten away from our date nights. Maybe it's not realistic to go out _every_ Friday and Saturday night, but we need at least one night a week just the two of us."

"I agree," I say. "I know we have three kids and two more on the way and a faction to run, but _we_ need to come first. If we keep putting ourselves on the back burner it's bound to lead to trouble."

"I'm with you 100%," he says. "Our marriage is the most important thing to me. _You_ are most important. I don't know what I would do without you." I crawl up his body, dropping kisses as I go, and straddle his hips.

"It's a good thing you'll never have to find out," I say before meeting his lips for a fiery kiss. His arms tighten around me, one at the small of my back and the other between my shoulder blades, making me feel safe, secure and, above all else, loved. "I'm so sorry, Tobias." I'm panting hard since I dragged my lips from his. "Those damn pictures really shook me, and I let them interfere with … living. I let them come between us, and then I acted badly when you called me out on it. You didn't deserve that."

"I accept your apology," he says, placing a sweet kiss on the side of my mouth, "but you really didn't need to give me one."

"Yes. I did," I insist. "Everything you said yesterday morning was 100% right. Not to mention we could have been doing this every day the past few weeks." I circle my hips over his hardening length, and we both groan.

"If we're going to do it again, I suggest we move this to the bedroom," he says. "Get more comfortable."

"Well, it is the one place we haven't done it yet today," I giggle.

"Damn it, love," he roughly growls next to my ear, shuddering beneath me. "If you keep moving like that, I'm going to come right here, and I'd rather be inside you." When his hands land on my hips, I think it's to still my gyrations but instead he helps me move faster.

"Baby, you said you wanted to go upstairs," I moan. "You keep that up and you're not the only one who is going to come." He quickly rolls us so I'm beneath him. I ready myself for him but instead he surprises me by getting to his knees.

"Let's go upstairs," he says, holding his hand out to me. "Come with me."

"I would love to," I say as I take it. He gets to his feet then helps me to mine. We practically sprint up the stairs and into our bedroom. He stops at the foot of the bed and pulls me close. He moves his mouth toward mine, and I eagerly greet him. My hands tangle in his hair as his roam up and down my back. Our passion consumes us both until we're a quivering, panting mess.

"God, I love you, Tris," he says, his chest heaving against mine.

"I love you, too, Tobias." I tilt my head to the side, giving him easy access to my neck. His teasing kisses and light, caressing touch on my hips makes my core throb painfully. "I want you inside me, baby," I plead. " _Now_." We manage to make it onto the bed without taking our hand or lips off each other. We love each other slowly, thoroughly, ours eyes locked and our fingers threaded together tightly. I cling to him while he covers me. The emotion of the moment overcomes me and tears run down my face and into my hair. He kisses away the moisture just before we each find our release. We hold each other as our heart rates slow and our breathing returns to normal.

"Shall we take a shower?" he asks after a few quiet moments.

"I guess," I sigh.

"That doesn't sound like you mean it," he says.

"I'd rather stay here just like this," I say. My head is resting on his chest and our arms and legs are a tangled mess. He tightens his embrace and kisses my forehead.

"We have to pick up the kids soon," he reminds me, even though I don't really need one.

"I know," I sigh. "Will it always be like this?"

"Like what?" he asks.

"Wanting to be in two places at once?"

"I imagine so," he says.

"You were supposed to say no," I playfully pout.

"You know I don't lie to you."

"I know," I sigh. "And I appreciate it. I just don't want today to end."

"Neither do I but we'd miss the kids eventually," he says, a smile audible in his smooth voice. I turn in his arms, tilt my head back, and put my mouth on his.

"I already miss them," I say against his lips.

"Me, too."

"But I still don't want to leave this bed," I sigh.

"Neither do I," he groans. "But we better do it before we're late."

"I could stand being late," I say as I glide my lips across his jawline.

"You better quit that, love," he growls. "You're playing with fire."

"What are you going to do about it, baby?" I tease, playfully nipping at his chin.

"I could turn you over my knee." I think all breath leaves my body.

"Now you want to spank me?" I ask, my voice raising an octave with each word or maybe it's with each syllable.

"No," he says with a slightly evil grin, "unless you want me to. But if you get me hard again," I look down and see that he's nearly there as it is, "you are going to need some sort of punishment."

"Fine." I give him an exaggerated pout. "No more sex."

"For right now, love," he says. "We always have tonight."

"That sounds like a date, Mr. Eaton," I say.

"If you're not too tired, Mrs. Eaton," he says. "Come on. Let's get going."

We get out of bed and make our way into the bathroom. We clean ourselves up, being careful not to touch each other. We're both still aroused but responsibilities must come first. Once he's done, he leaves me with a chaste peck. I quickly finish my regular routine and reach out and grab a towel. I dry off then move to the mirror. I quickly wipe away the moisture then take down my hair. I bend at the waist and run a wide-toothed comb through my tresses the best I can, it's kind of a ratty mess, then gather it up in a high ponytail. When I stand back up I notice something on the side of my neck. I lean closer to examine it and shake my head, suddenly angry. _Damn you, Tobias Eaton._ I have a hickey, and it's not small or in an inconspicuous place. I dab a little concealer on to hide it but it actually makes it stand out even more so I wash it off and forgo makeup.

I quickly dress then tromp down the stairs and find my husband waiting for me in the kitchen. He can tell I'm not happy and more than likely, he knows why. He's been looking at me all afternoon. He couldn't have missed the giant love bite. I walk past him and pick my phone up off the charger. I check for messages and am happy there aren't any.

"Look at me, Tris," he says from right behind me. I take a deep breath and turn around. He cups my chin and forces me to look at him. "I'm sorry."

"You should be," I murmur.

"I know you don't like hickeys," he says. "I guess I got carried away."

"I'm going to be the butt of every joke tonight," I say.

"You know I won't allow that."

"You won't be able to stop them, especially Zeke," I sigh. "Come on. We don't want to be late."

"Please don't do this," he says, pain audible in his voice. "I know you're pissed but … just don't. We've had such a wonderful day." I can't stand when he sounds so miserable, especially when I'm the cause. I throw my arms around his midsection and rest my head against his chest. He immediately wraps me in a loving embrace.

"Sorry," we both say at the same time.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, love," he says. "I'm the one who got carried away." He tilts my chin up, and his lips immediately find mine. Our kiss is deep, long, and passionate until his phone starts ringing. We part but he doesn't let me go. He digs his phone out of his pocket and answers it.

"Hello … Oh, hi, Will … Yeah. We're just getting ready to leave … Oh, that's fine with me if it's okay with you … All right then. We'll see you soon … No problem at all. … Thanks for letting me know." He hangs up and tucks the phone back in his pocket.

"What did Will have to say?" I ask. "Are the kids all right?"

"They're fine," he says. "They're just running late so he's going to bring the kids home instead of taking them to the cafeteria."

'I actually like that idea better," I say. "Have they eaten?"

"I never thought to ask," he says. "I doubt it though. How about pizza?"

"We sure have pizza a lot," I say. I head to the refrigerator to see what we have on hand. Nothing jumps out at me so I look in the cupboards.

"Pizza?" he asks, his handsome face wearing a smirk when I come up empty-handed.

"Yeah," I chuckle. "I'm too tired to cook."

"I can't imagine why," he says. "I'll call for something and go get it. What do you want?"

"How about cheese for the kids and ham and pineapple for us? Does that sound good?"

"Sounds wonderful," he says. "You're lucky I like fruit on my pizza." I roll my eyes at him. He draws his phone out of his pocket again and calls the pizzeria.

"Can you stop by the commissary and get some ice cream?" I ask when he's done with the call.

"Sure," he says. "What kind would you like?"

"Mint chocolate chip," I say, "unless they have chocolate covered strawberry then I'd like that. No, wait! Coconut. Yeah, coconut. Or key lime pie. Yeah, that sounds wonderful."

"O - kay," he says, slowly nodding his head. "I'll see what I can do."

"I'd appreciate it," I say. "If you do a good job, I'll give you a reward later."

"Oh, what'd that be?" I put a finger to my lips, pretending to think.

"I'll let you eat yours off my body," I say with a wink.

"You naughty little minx," he mumbles. "You're going to get me hard again, and I already told you what I would do if that happens." My mouth hangs open at the mention of a spanking, and he just grins. He lowers his lips towards mine but a knock at the door interrupts us, and we both sigh. "He said they were close, but I didn't think he meant that close."

"He must have called from right in front of the compound," I say as we head through the living room and into the entryway. Once I open the door, our alone time officially ends. Teags is chasing Liam up and down the hall, squealing at the top of her lungs and Tessa is animatedly talking to herself but Tyler is uncharacteristically quiet. He trudges past his father and me with barely a hello.

"Has Tyler been like this all day?" Tobias worriedly asks Will, looking over his shoulder at our son who climbs up on the end of the couch.

"I honestly don't know," he says. "He definitely was quiet on the way home though. I thought maybe he was just tired."

"That's not his tired face," I murmur.

"Hi, Mama," Tessa says. She grabs my legs and hugs me tightly.

"Hi, little one," I say. She lets go of me and goes into the living room. She tries to get up on the couch next to her big brother but Tyler moves to the club chair making Tessa frown.

"Definitely has something to do with his sisters," Tobias mutters then he steps out into the hallway. "Hey, Teags, you need to quiet down. Are you coming in?"

"Bye, Yiam," she says. "Lub 'ou."

"Love you, Teags," he replies. She gives him a big hug and kiss then runs into Tobias' arms.

"Hi, Dadda," she says with a contagious grin then she gives him a big, wet kiss.

"Hi, Teags," he says.

"Down," she says. He sets her on her feet and she heads towards her sister.

"Was Teags good?" I ask Will.

"Of course," he says. "I'm sure they all were. Stella and Avery didn't mention anything."

"Good," I say. "Thanks again for bringing them home."

"Sorry we're late," he says. "No one wanted to leave."

"Have they had supper?" Tobias asks.

"They had a late snack but no supper yet," he says.

"Daddy?" Liam is at Will's feet, yanking on his jeans.

"What is it?"

"I have to potty," he whispers.

"Alright, big guy," he says. "See you guys later."

"Bye, Will," I say. "Bye, Liam."

"Say goodbye to Will, guys," Tobias says. They wave. "Thanks again, Will. We owe you one."

"It was no problem whatsoever," he says. "The kids were good. Come on, Liam."

"I'm going to get some pizza for supper," Tobias announces and the girls start jumping around. "Do you two want to come with me to pick it up?"

"Yeah," they yell out at once.

"All right then," he says. "Let's go. We'll be right back, Mommy."

"Bye, Mama," Tessa says.

"Bye," Teags says. They head toward the door without looking back. They are hyper. Hopefully the trip to the Pit will burn off some of their excess energy.

"Do you want to stay with me, Tyler?" I ask, wanting to know why he isn't his usual sunny self. He nods. I look toward Tobias and see that he's just as concerned as I am.

"We'll be back soon," he says. "Come on, girls." When the door shuts, I sit down on the couch.

"Did you have a good time today?" He shrugs his shoulders. "Come here, buddy." As he climbs down from the club chair, tears start sliding down his face. "What's wrong, Tyler?" I ask as I drag him onto my lap. He buries his head in my chest and tears wet my shirt.

"Tess and Teags was there _all_ _day_ ," he mumbles. "I was 'pose to play with Zane by myself. Him wanted to play with Tess, too. I didn't want him to but him did it anyway."

"Oh, Tyler. You shouldn't be jealous of your sisters," I say. "Zane can be friends with you and Tessa."

"But hers a _girl_ ," he says disgustedly.

"Yes, she is," I say. "And there's nothing wrong with playing with girls."

"Their toys aren't as fun," he says and then he leans closer to me and lowers his voice like someone is listening to us. "And I heard they have cooties. Mommy, I don't want cooties." I cough in an effort to hide my laugh.

"Honey, where did you hear that?" I ask.

"I heard Uncle Zeke talkin' 'bout it," he says _. I'll kill him._

"Uncle Zeke doesn't know everything, my sweet boy," I say. "And he's mistaken about girls having cooties and even if they did have cooties, cooties aren't contagious." _What the hell am I saying?_ This is ridiculous _. I'm going to murder Zeke._ I wonder if Shauna would really miss him. I know I wouldn't.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his eyes still swimming with tears.

"I would never lie to you, buddy," I say. "Cooties are not contagious. Girls don't have cooties. It's okay to play with girls."

"I didn't want Tess and Teags to go with me today," he sniffs. "I wanted to be by myself with my friend. Is that bad?"

"No, it's not," I say as I stroke his head. "Maybe Daddy should have told you that all of you were going to a carnival so you weren't surprised. It was meant to be a good surprise. I'm sorry you were disappointed to see your sisters there also. But they had a right to be there, too."

"Next time can I go by myself to play with Zane?" he asks.

"I'm sure we can arrange a play date for just the two of you," I say. "I hope you weren't pouting and crying all day just because your sisters were there. I heard the carnival was super fun. Did you have any fun at all?"

"Yeah. While Tess, Teags, and Liam played the _baby_ games, Zane and I played the big kids games," he says. "He winned a basketball. I almost did, too, but I missed by this much." He holds his hands about six inches apart.

"That's too bad," I say.

"It's okay," he says. "We petted lots of aminals. Zane tried to milk the cow but I didn't want to touch it. It was yucky."

"I've never milked a cow either," I say. "What else did you do?"

"Um, we had something called a funny cake," he says. "Mine had cherries on top. It was yummy."

"Funny cake? I've never heard of that."

"Me neither," he says. "But it was good."

"So, you played games, visited a petting zoo, and ate yummy treats with your best friend," I say. "That sounds like a pretty good day even if your sisters were there, too." He sticks his bottom lip out and hides his head again. I kiss the top of his head and hug him tightly. "Let me ask you something? If you had a little brother, would you have been mad if Zane wanted to play with him?"

"I don't know," he says.

"Are you sure, Tyler?"

"Yeah, I'd let him play with my brother," he says with a sigh. "But why did he want to play with Tess? He kiss her again like Teags kisses Liam." His face falls. "Is Zane gonna take Tess away and marry her like Teags is gonna marry Liam?" _Oh, God!_

"You know what, you don't have to worry about your sisters leaving home and getting married for a very, very, _very_ long time," I say. "Okay?"

"Okay, Mommy," he says, smiling up at me.

"Did you or your sisters get a nap today?" I ask.

"We rested for a while on the big wheel," he says. "I think Tess and Teags fell asleep but I didn't. I wasn't tired."

"Are you tired now?" I ask, already knowing the answer. It's written all over his face.

"No," he says shaking his head but soon he opens his mouth and yawns widely.

"Are you sure about that, buddy?" I say with a chuckle.

"I swear. I'm not tired at all. I'm hungry though," he says. "Is Daddy going to be back soon?" I look at the clock.

"He'll be a little bit still," I say. "Do you want to help me set the table?"

"I'd rather sit here," he says, hugging me tightly. I lean down and kiss his head.

"This is nice, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he says. "I like it when it's just you and me. The girls are _always_ around." He's pouting again. "They always get you before I do."

"What do you mean?" I ask. He tilts his head back and looks up at me with somber eyes.

"You do everything with them first. You get them up first. You put them to the table first. You give them their food first. You give them baths first. You put them to bed first," he says. "Sometimes I fall asleep before you and Daddy come to say 'night. It makes me so sad. You cuddle with them _all_ _the_ _time_. It not fair, Mommy."

"Oh, my sweet boy. I don't want you to be sad," I say. "And the way you put it, it doesn't really sound fair but you are a big boy and girls are still little. They need extra help and you don't. And do you know why Daddy and I put the girls to bed before you?"

"No," he says.

"Because until their big girl room is ready, Daddy and I literally have to put them in their beds."

"'Cause they are babies," he states.

"They're not babies anymore but, like I said, they still need extra help," I say. "And when the twins come, they will be getting a lot of Mommy and Daddy's attention. I'll need you to be a big boy and help with your sisters and not be so annoyed by them."

"But they _are_ annoying," he sighs. "I really want brothers."

"I know you do, buddy," I say. "But you'll have to take sisters if that's what they are."

"I know," he pouts. "I just really really _really_ hope it's brothers."

"I love you," I say, kissing his head again.

"I love you to the moon and back," he says.

"Yes, to the moon and back a million times."

"That's a lot," he says.

"That's how much I love you," I say, emotion thick in my throat, "and don't you ever forget that." He turns on my lap and wraps his arms around my neck, squeezing tight.

"You're the best mommy ever," he says, making my heart swell.

"Thank you, buddy. You're the best son ever," I say. "Daddy will be back soon with the pizza. We better set the table. You can be my helper the rest of the night."

"Can I boss Tess and Teags around?" he asks, looking up at me hopefully.

"No. That's Mommy and Daddy's job. But you can help me with them. I would really appreciate it," I say. "It will be good practice for when the twins come."

"I'd rather tell them what to do," he says as we walk into the kitchen. "That would be so much fun."

"I'll remember that," I say as I hand him five unbreakable plates. "Please set the table." While he's doing that, I pour us each a glass of root beer and have Tyler carefully take them one at a time to the table. "Good job, buddy."

"You're welcome, Mommy," he says. "What's next."

"Napkins," I say.

"Yeah! Pizza's always messy." I grab a handful from the cupboard and hand them to Tyler. "This is a lot." He frowns at me.

"We may not need them all but you never know when extra will come in handy," I say. "Just put one at each plate and the rest by where Mommy and Daddy sit."

"Okay," he says. When he finishes the task, we hear the front door open. "Oh, they're here!" He jumps up and down excitedly. Tobias comes into the room holding two pizza boxes followed by Tessa and Teagan, who are each holding one handle of a bag, which I presume has the ice cream in it. I wonder how that worked all the way up the path. Maybe that's why they are later than I thought they would be. The minute they see me, they drop the bag and head my way, their task forgotten. They each cling to a leg and talk nonstop over each other.

"Buddy, can you pick up that sack?" Tobias asks.

"Sure, Daddy," he happily says. He hurries across the room but remembers not to run. He sticks his head in the sack as he picks it up. "What is it?"

"Dessert," I say.

"That's right," Tobias say. "I got a variety." He chuckles softly and drops a kiss on my temple as he passes me.

"What did you do?" I ask.

"I got mint chocolate chip, chocolate covered strawberry, coconut pecan, and key lime pie. Just like you asked," he says with a sexy leer. "I'm looking forward to you serving it to me later."

" _Tobias_ ," I scoff. I also blush like a schoolgirl. "Not in front of them." We look at our kids, and they aren't paying us one bit of attention. Tyler is still taking in the multiple packages of ice cream, and the girls are sticking their tongues out at each other.

"But I'm looking forward to my dessert," he says. I ache but have to laugh when the kids all agree that dessert sound pretty darn good. That proves they are listening even if they don't appear to be paying attention.

"I think we should eat pizza first," I say. "Girls, you are going to have to let go of mommy. And stop making faces at each other." They giggle. Silly girls. They let me go, and Tobias and I help them up onto their chairs. I remember what Tyler said and look his way. He's carefully watching us. Tobias reaches for the pizza but I stop him. "Tyler, I'll take that." He hands me the heavy sack and smiles. "Will you help your sisters get some pizza?"

"Yes, Mommy," he happily says. Tobias furrows his brows at me, wondering what I'm up to.

"We'll talk later," I quietly say, as he takes the ice cream then puts it in the freezer.

"All done, Mommy," Tyler proudly says.

"Don't forget to get yourself some," I say.

"I will," he says. "Do you want me to get yours, too?"

"Yes. I'll take two slices," I say. "I'm sure Daddy wants some, too." Tyler looks up at Tobias and he nods, so he happily takes a few slices and puts them on our plates. He lastly takes a slice of cheese pizza and puts it on his plate then settles back into his seat.

"Thanks, buddy," Tobias says. "I appreciate all your help."

"You're welcome, Daddy," Tyler proudly says. "I have to help because I'm the biggest."

"I help," Tessa says. "Wight, Dadda?"

"Me, too," Teags says.

"Yes, you helped me carry the ice cream," Tobias says.

"It was _so_ heaby," Tessa says.

"Yeah!" Teags spits.

"It _was_ heavy," Tyler adds, agreeing with his sisters for once. "How much ice cream did you get?"

"Oh, I got more than enough for everyone," Tobias says, looking only at me. He gives me a wink, and I nearly choke on a chunk of pineapple. I pick up my root beer and take a sip but continue coughing. "You okay, love?" He reaches around and pats my back.

"Yeah," I say, clearing my throat. "Pineapple tried to go down the wrong pipe." I sip a little more root beer. "It's better now."

"Good," he says. "So, what did you all do today?" Each of the kids tell us about their day starting with Tyler. He leaves out the fact that he wasn't happy that his sisters were at the fair, which I'm glad. As much as he says he views them as an annoyance, I know he loves them to pieces. He would never want to hurt them intentionally. The girls were impressed with everything at the fair except for the llamas. Apparently, they spit … a lot. After the kids have a single dip of ice cream, we all load the dishwasher together then I send them to wash their sticky faces.

"So, what do you want to do tonight?" I ask as I sit down on the couch next to Tobias. "Movie? A game?"

"I was thinking about putting some soft music on and just relaxing," he says. "The kids are tired even though they'll never admit it. They can play quietly until it's time for bed. We also need to talk about Tyler."

"What about me?" he asks as he comes moping into the room.

"Nothing for you to worry about, buddy," I say. "I'm going to talk to Daddy about what you told me earlier. Is that okay?"

"Yeah," he says. "Mommy, can I sit with you? Please!"

"Of course, you can," I say, patting the spot next to me. "I would like that very much." He climbs up on the couch but instead of sitting down, he stretches out and rests his head in my lap.

"Can we watch a movie?" he tiredly asks.

"We were thinking we would just make it a quiet night," Tobias says. I run my fingers through Tyler's thick hair, and he contentedly sighs. "How does some soft music sound?"

"Okay," he says.

"I better go check on the girls," Tobias says. "They are entirely too quiet." _That they are_. He turns on a soft rock station then goes to look for our girls. I continue stroking Tyler's hair and his breathing deepens and evens out. I knew he was exhausted. He had a trying day. I wish I knew how to make him not resent his sisters' presence. Sometimes he's fine with it but other times, he acts like they are the devil reincarnate. Maybe it's because they act that way at times.

"I want up," Tessa says, drawing me from my reverie.

"Oh, little one," I say. "You startled me. I didn't know you were there."

"You can sit with Daddy and Teags," Tobias quietly says from behind her. He's holding Teagan, who looks like she took a bath with her clothes on.

"No. I want my mama," she says, her hands on her hips.

"Tessa, Mommy has Tyler on her lap and he's asleep," I say. "We're not going to move him."

"But I want up," she says, raising her voice. "Move him. Move him now!"

"Tessa Beatrice Eaton," Tobias sternly says. "We've already told you no. Do you want a timeout?" She moves her angry little eyes toward him and sticks her tongue out. I can't believe what I'm seeing. "That's it, young lady. _You_ are going to bed."

"No, I not," she cries and then turns and runs away. He hurriedly puts Teagan on the couch next to me and takes off after Tessa. Teagan's bottom lip starts quivering, and she bursts into tears. Tobias must have caught up to Tessa because she's screaming my name at the top of her lungs.

"What's wrong?" Tyler asks, rubbing his eyes.

"Nothing, buddy," I say. "Go back to sleep."

"Why's everyone crying?"

"Go back to sleep, Tyler. Teagan, stop crying," Tobias says from the bottom of the stairs. "Or do I have to put all of you to bed?"

"What did I do?" Tyler asks, then he starts crying, too. " _Mommy!_ " He climbs up my body and throws his arms around my neck. I glare at Tobias and he huffs before turning and storming upstairs. _There goes our night._

"You didn't do anything," I say. "Sshh. It's okay. You're just tired, my sweet boy." I pull Teagan close with my other arm. "Peanut, why are you crying?"

"I want my dadda," she stutters and sniffs.

"He'll be back soon," I quietly say, holding my two crying children. _We are so screwed._ What the hell was I thinking wanting more kids? We're never going to survive this. They're already taking over. I try to breathe through the rising panic but I suddenly feel like crying myself. Anxiety grips my chest, and I have to fight just to take a breath.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Tyler asks. The worry in his small voice breaks the consuming dread.

"I am now," I say, my rapid heartbeat calming.

"You really white," he says. "Should I get Daddy?"

"No, I swear I'm okay," I say. I kiss his head and relax into the couch cushions, pulling him and his sister closer. "Mommy loves both of you very much."

"I love you, too, Mommy," Tyler says, snuggling closer to me and closing his eyes.

"Lub 'ou," Teags says. I look down at her and her lids are bobbing up and down. She's just as exhausted as Tessa but at least she didn't throw an uncharacteristic fit. I caress each of their heads as I hum along with the radio and they are asleep within minutes. I let my lids flutter closed when I realize my children aren't the only exhausted ones in this house. We're all tired and in need of a good night's rest.

"Love." Tobias' deep voice sounds far away. "I'm going to take Teags and put her in bed. You keep resting."

"Okay," I murmur. I wrap both arms around Tyler when he lifts Teags away from me and what only seems like seconds later, he's trying to take him too. "Hey."

"You fell asleep," he says. "The girls are tucked in. I'm going to take Tyler." I relax my grasp and Tobias easily lifts him into his arms. "I owe him an apology when he's awake."

"What for?" I murmur groggily.

"For getting upset with him," he sighs. "It wasn't his fault. I was just frustrated."

"I know," I say, yawning wide. "I'll join you. We need to talk."

"We can do that later," he says. "We're both tired."

"I am tired," I say, "but I don't think this can wait."

"Okay," he says.

"Mommy?" Tyler says. He lifts his head from his father's shoulder and looks around confusedly.

"I'm right here, buddy," I say, reaching up and brushing his hair off his forehead. "Daddy's got you."

"Okay," he says as he lays his head back down. "Don't go nowhere."

"I'm not going anywhere." When we enter his room, I get a pair of pajamas out of his dresser while Tobias lies him on his bed. He fades in and out of consciousness while his father changes him into the firetruck PJs.

"Buddy," Tobias says, "do you need to go potty?" He opens his eyes and shakes his head. "Okay. Hey, I'm sorry I got angry with you earlier. You didn't do anything wrong. Daddy was wrong. I love you, Tyler."

"I love you, too, Daddy," he says, a small smile on his face. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, buddy," he says. He stands, and I sit down next to our son. I tuck his lightweight blanket around him, and he sighs contentedly.

"Goodnight, my sweet boy," I say as I lean over and softly kiss his forehead. "Mommy loves you to the moon and back."

"I love you, Mommy, to the moon and back a million times."

"That's a lot," I reply, making him smile sweetly. "Go back to sleep. Mommy and Daddy will see you in the morning."

"Goodnight," he murmurs as his eyes once again slide shut. Tobias kisses his head then takes my hand and leads me into our bedroom.

"So, what's going on with our son?" I sit on the end of the bed and he joins me. I relay what Tyler told me while he was getting supper tonight.

"I don't know if it's jealousy or what but he does have a point," I say. "Even though we don't mean anything by it, we seem to put the girls in front of him."

"I wish I could say you're wrong, but you're not. Why hasn't he ever said anything?" he asks as he runs his hands through his hair. "Our poor guy."

"He has from time to time," I say. "Today was the last straw I think. He was _not_ happy that the girls went with him to the fair. I know it was meant to be a good surprise but he didn't see it that way."

"But Tessa and Teags had every right to go, too," he says, defending his actions.

"I explained it to Tyler, and he knows that but it shocked him when he and his sisters went to the same place. He thought he was going to spend the day with Zane."

"He did."

"I know, but Zane wanted to play with Tessa, too," I say. I think about telling him about the kiss but I figure Tobias is stressed enough. I don't need him hunting down a five-year-old right now. "And he did. I think that's what set Tyler off. He didn't want Zane playing with his little sister." Tobias shakes his head.

"I thought I was doing the right thing," he says. I put my hand on his back and rest my head on his shoulder.

"You didn't do anything wrong, baby," I say.

"It doesn't feel that way," he murmurs.

"I told Tyler that in the future we would tell him if his sisters are going with him," I say. "He seemed okay with that."

"I'm glad to hear that," he says then he sighs. "We should get ready for bed."

"It's awfully early to be going to bed," I say, glancing at the clock on his nightstand.

"You're tired."

"I'm awake now," I say. "Are you tired?"

"I am, love," he says. "I hope you're not too disappointed."

"Not at all," I say. "We had a very eventful day."

"That we did," he says, kissing the top of my head. "But I think we both need sleep now."

"Who are you trying to convince, Tobias, me or you?" I tease, placing a kiss below his ear.

"Me, I guess." I climb into his lap. "Love?"

"Am I bothering you?"

"You're killing me," he murmurs.

"Would you rather sleep?"

"Hell no," he growls against my lips.


	54. Chapter 54

Soft tittering and hushed voices float down the hallway causing my fingers to still over the keyboard, and I can't help but smile. A few days back, Tessa came to me long before dawn saying she wasn't feeling well. Her little cough was heartbreaking to witness. I immediately got her some medicine then rocked her until she fell back to sleep. Not 12 short hours later, Teagan came down with the very same thing. To keep Tyler from getting it too, Tobias took him to daycare the past three days. Even though work has been crazy lately, I stayed home with the girls. I just couldn't make myself leave them. I've been digitally filing incident reports from our home office while the girls sleep but it sounds like they're finally feeling better. Out of the corner of my eye, I see them run from their room to the playroom. I file two more reports and begin a third but the sudden silence makes be get out of my chair. I'm not sure what I'm expecting but it isn't what I see. My little devils are sitting on the floor drawing on the wall.

"What do you think you two are doing?" I ask. I obviously surprise them because they both jump. Teagan drops the marker she's holding but Tessa just hides hers behind her back. "You don't draw on the walls."

"I not do it," Tessa says.

"Really?" I cross my arms across my chest and stare down my defiant two-year-old.

"No," she says, shaking her head. Teags is looking back and forth between me and her sister. "Gunnew do it."

"Gunner just drew on the walls?" They both nod eagerly. "Are you lying to me, Tessa Beatrice?" Her eyes grow wide. I think she's going to break down and tell the truth but instead she slowly shakes her head. Disappointed, I turn to her sister. "Teagan Grace? Did you draw on the walls?" Her teary eyes slide to Tessa, and I can almost hear their silent conversation.

"No," she softly says when she looks back at me.

"You are both in so much trouble," I say. "I saw you drawing on the wall with my own two eyes. Tessa, you still have the marker in your hand." She immediately drops it like it's a hot coal. I take a deep breath. "You're trying my patience. Let's go. You both are going into timeout until you can tell Mommy the truth. I'm very disappointed in you both." They start crying. "Don't even start with the tears. It's not going to work. Come on." They get to their feet and file out of the playroom and into the hall. "Downstairs. Now." They mope down the stairs like they are marching to their execution. "Tessa, you sit in the club chair. Teagan, you come with Mommy." I leave Tessa and take Teagan into the sunroom. "You sit on the loveseat." She climbs up at the end and pouts.

"Mama?" she says as I'm getting ready to leave the room. "I sowwy."

"Why are you sorry?" I have a feeling she's just feeling sorry for getting caught.

"I drawed on the wall," she says or at least that's what I think she says. I kneel down in front of her.

"You should never draw on the wall," I say. "That was wrong but that's not why I'm so upset. You and Tessa lied to me. I walked into that room and _saw_ you drawing on the wall. When I asked you about it, you lied and told me you didn't do it." I sigh.

"I sowwy, Mama," she says, her bottom lip trembling. It goes against every instinct I have to not wrap her up in my arms right now and console her but she needs to learn a lesson.

"You sit here and think about what you did," I say. "I'll come back when you can get up." She starts bawling the moment I leave the room. If I'm lucky, she'll cry herself to sleep.

"Mama," Tessa calls out. "Mama."

"What is it, Tessa?" I ask, coming into the living room.

"I wote on the wall," she says. "I sowwy I say I didn't." I sit on the toybox and give her the same speech I just gave Teagan. "I didn't want to get in twouble."

"You might or might not get in trouble for telling me the truth but if you lie to me, you definitely will get in trouble," I say. "Always tell me the truth even if it scares you. We can always work it out. Now, you sit there and think about what you did."

"Otay," she says woefully. She sits back in the chair and puts her chin on her fist. She looks just as miserable as her sister but at least she's not crying. Since I can't go upstairs and finish my work, leaving the girls alone, I head to the kitchen to start supper. Even though they are feeling better I don't want to give them anything too spicy so I decide on homemade chicken and noodles. This is something that I used to make with my mom a lot growing up so I could make it with my eyes closed. About half-an-hour later I hear movement in the living room. I set the knife down and step into the hallway. Tessa is dancing around by the club chair.

"Do you need to go potty?"

"Yeah!"

"Go," I say and she takes off like a flash. "All you needed to do was ask." She disappears into the powder room, and I swear I hear her sigh. Poor girl. I peek in on Teagan and just as expected she's curled up in a little ball on the end of the loveseat sound asleep.

"All done," Tessa says when she comes out.

"Did you wash your hands?" I ask. She nods and holds them out so I can inspect them. "Good job. Do you want to help Mommy finish supper?" Her eyes brighten and she eagerly nods. "Come on, little one."

"Mama?"

"Yeah?" I say, looking down at her.

"I sowwy," she says.

"Come here," I say as I lift her into my arms. She wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes tightly. "I love you." She pulls back and looks at me a little confused.

"You do?" she finally asks.

"Of course, I do," I say.

"But you was _so_ mad," she says.

"Tessa, just because you upset me doesn't mean I stop loving you. There is _nothing_ you could ever do that would make me stop loving you." I hug her tightly.

"I love you, Mama," she says. "I sowwy I was bad."

"Thank you, sweet girl," I say. "No more drawing on the walls and definitely no more lying."

"Someone drew on the walls?" Tobias asks, startling Tess and me.

"Dadda! You home!" She holds her arms out to him and he takes her from me.

"Hey, Pebbles," he says, giving her a kiss. "Did you draw on a wall?"

"Yeah. Teags did, too," she says. "We got in twouble."

"Tell Daddy why you really got in trouble," I say.

"I lied," she whispers then hides her face in his neck. He raises his brows at me.

"They both did," I say. "Told me it wasn't them who was writing on the walls, that it was Gunner."

"Tessa," he scolds. "Look at Daddy." She tentatively raises her eyes to his. "Do you know better than to do that again?"

"Yes," she says, nodding.

"That's good."

"I love you," she says.

"I love you, too," he says. "Where's Teags?"

"Asleep in the sunroom," I say, looking behind me. "Where's Tyler?" His face drops. _Did he forget to pick our son up?_ "You didn't?"

"Shi… Crap! I did," he says, setting Tessa on her feet and pulling his phone out. "I'll be right back." He rushes out of the apartment.

"Why Dadda leave?" Tessa asks.

"He has to go pick up Tyler," I say.

"Hep you?" she asks.

"Yeah, we better get supper done so we can eat when Daddy and Tyler get home," I say. I pull the step stool out of the closet and help Tessa climb so that she is standing next to me. "You be careful."

"I caweful," she says. I chop up the cooled chicken and let her put it in the pot then do the same with the remaining ingredients.

"Well, it just needs to cook," I say. I help her down and put the stool back. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little," she says. "My froat huwts." I check the clock and see it's time for another dose of medication. Thankfully, she doesn't fight taking the grape-flavored liquid.

"I think you should rest before supper," I say. "Do you want to watch some cartoons?"

"Yeah," she says. I take her into the living room and put on some of her favorite shorts then go to check on Teagan. She's been asleep long enough. I sit down beside her and carefully lift her into my arms.

"Teags, it's time to wake up," I say, gently rubbing her back. "You've napped long enough."

"No," she murmurs.

"It's almost time for supper," I say. "You've been asleep for over an hour. It's time to get up." She turns her head so that she's facing me but she doesn't open her eyes. I kiss her forehead and find that she's warm again. "You need some medicine. I think you have a fever again."

"No, Mama," she whines and then she starts crying. I don't know if it's because she's still tired or not feeling well.

"It's okay," I say. "Mommy's got you." I sit with her a few more minutes, letting her wake up a little more. "Will you take some medicine for me?" She nods her head but it's still laying on my shoulder. "You can watch cartoons with Tessa when you're done."

"'Kay," she says. I expect her to pep up a bit but her eyes are dull and lifeless.

"How are you feeling?" She starts crying again as she talks to me. I have absolutely no idea what she's saying, which is going to make her even more upset. "Hey, hey, hey. Take a breath and calm down. Do you feel sick?" She shakes her head. "Are you still sleepy?" She shakes her head again. "Then what's wrong?"

"You mad," she wails.

"I'm not mad anymore," I say.

"You not?" she asks, peeking up at me.

"No," I say. "I don't want you writing on the walls, and I definitely don't want you lying to me. That's a big no-no. Okay?"

"'Kay," she says. "I sowwy. I dwawed, Mama. No Gunnew."

"I know but thank you for telling me," I say. "Give me a hug." She hugs me tightly then gives me a kiss.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says from the doorway. I look up and notice his red-rimmed eyes.

"Hi, buddy," I say.

"Is she still sick?" he asks with a cough. Uh-oh!

"Yeah, she's a little warm. Are you feeling okay?"

"I got a stupid cough," he says.

"Come with me, and I'll give you some medicine, too," I say. "Hopefully, it will nip it in the bud."

"That sounds funny," he chuckles. I carry Teagan into the kitchen with Tyler on my heels. I see Tobias sitting on the couch with Tessa in his lap. They both have their eyes glued to the TV. I don't know who likes Mickey Mouse better, Tobias or the kids. I give Tyler and Teags a dose of medicine then tell them to join their dad and sister on the couch while I finish supper.

I feel Tobias behind me before he makes his presence known. I close my eyes and sigh when he moves my hair over one shoulder and puts his mouth on my neck. I lean into him as he circles my waist with his arms.

"Hey, love," he says. "Supper smells wonderful."

"Thank you," I say. "I wanted to keep it light for the girls and now Tyler's coughing."

"I can't believe I forgot to pick him up," he quietly says, hanging his head forward to rest on my shoulder. I reach back and run my fingers through his hair to soothe him.

"It's all right," I say.

"No, it's not," he says. "He was crying when I finally made it there. All the other kids had been picked up, and the staff couldn't get ahold of me. I feel like a terrible father for forgetting him. When I came through the door, he threw himself at me. Seeing his tears made me feel even worse."

"I'm sorry," I say. "What was on your mind that made you forget?"

"An emergency council meeting has been called," he says.

"What?" I turn in his arms. "Why?"

"I have no idea," he says. "I got a call from your father's assistant. He said all faction representatives need to be in Abnegation by 7 tomorrow morning for an emergency meeting. I called your dad for more of an explanation but he didn't pick up."

"Damn," I mutter. "I don't want to go to Abnegation when the kids are sick."

"It's only for the day," he says. "And look on the bright side, love, at least it's not Amity."

"You're right about that," I sigh. "I'll try calling Dad after supper. Hopefully, he can give me an idea of what the meeting's about. We aren't due for one for another two months."

"I know," he says. He reaches up and pulls my lip away from my gnawing teeth. "Why do you seem so worried?"

"What exactly did Dad's assistant say?"

"Exactly what I told you," he says. "There's an emergency meeting tomorrow in Abnegation. All the faction representatives need to be there by 7 a.m."

"That's what's bothering me, Tobias," I say. "In the past, before a meeting, we are given an overview of what's on the docket days before. I don't recall a single instance when the topic is being withheld."

"When you put it like that, it does sound fishy," he says, concern furrowing his brows. "Let's try not to worry about it until you can talk to your dad."

"I'll try," I say. I go into the living room and find my kids sitting side-by-side on the couch watching cartoons. I can tell they aren't feeling well or they would be squabbling the entire time. "Are you ready for supper?" They nod, though they aren't as energetic as they usually are. Tessa and Tyler get off the couch but Teags starts crying.

"What's wrong, Peanut?" Tobias says. He comes from behind me and goes to pick up our whiny daughter. She says something but I don't quite catch it. I let him handle her and help the other two get up to the table. "Are you sure you're not hungry?"

"Yeah," she mutters.

"I'll take you up to bed then," he says and she starts crying again. "You either have to eat or you're going to go to bed. You can't keep watching cartoons."

"Mama," she cries, putting her arms out to me. I meet Tobias eyes and he nods.

"Come here," I say and she immediately comes to me. "What's wrong?"

"I no hungwy," she says with a little cough.

"Does your throat still hurt?" I ask and she nods. "Maybe the warm noodles will feel good on your throat. Will you try some for Mommy?" She shakes her head. "Please?" She sighs.

"'Kay." I try to put her in her seat but she tightly clings to my body.

"You want to sit with Mommy?"

"Yeah."

"I'll finish up," Tobias says. "You go ahead and sit down." He gives me a quick, soft kiss as he passes.

"Thanks." I sit down and Teagan snuggles against my chest.

"'Bout me?" Tessa asks.

"How about we all snuggle after supper? Is that okay?"

"Yeah," she says with a sigh. At least I know my children love me.

"Bridget is going to be here with you tomorrow," I say as Tobias serves us supper. "I have an important meeting I can't miss."

"I don't want you to go," Tyler whines. I notice that his cheeks are a little flushed.

"I have to, buddy," I say. "If it were any other day, I'd stay home in a second but this is an important meeting." At least it better be important to take me away from my kids when they need me.

"Okay." Supper is quick, the kids don't eat much, which doesn't allow Tobias or me to get much either. After the kitchen is cleaned up, I settle on the couch with Teagan asleep on my lap, Tessa under one arm, and Tyler under the other.

"Shoot," I murmur.

"What is it, love?"

"I forgot to call Dad about the meeting," I say.

"I'll do it," he says. "If you don't mind, that is."

"Of course," I say. "Thank you." He steps out of the room to make the call and I settle in on the couch for a quiet evening. Within minutes all the kids are sound asleep. They definitely must not be feeling well. About 15 minutes later, Tobias comes back into the room, a troubled look on his face. "What is it?"

"I talked to your dad and he doesn't know what's going on either," he says.

"How is that possible?" I ask.

"I called Caleb to see what he was told, and he was given the same information I received earlier," he says. "I have no idea what the meeting is about."

"What did dad have to say?" I ask. He takes a deep breath and blows it out in a rush.

"Not much," he says. "A couple of his colleagues came to him this afternoon and said they were calling an emergency meeting for tomorrow morning. When he inquired about the reason, they told him it was confidential."

"Confidential from the leader of the council?" I ask, my voice raising with each syllable. Teagan's head pops up and she looks at me, her eyes glazed over with sleep. "I'm sorry, baby. Go back to sleep."

"I not bebe," she mutters before lying her head back down. At least that's normal. I carefully move my hand from around Tessa and gently run my fingers through Teags hair and down to rub her back in an effort to get her back to sleep. She whines softly but doesn't move.

"I wish I had better news," Tobias quietly says when it seems like Teags falls back to sleep. "You'll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out what the meeting is about." I shake my head disgustedly.

"That's BS and you know it," I say. "That's like Will, Shauna, and James calling a meeting without giving us a reason for it."

"I agree," he says. "There's nothing we can do about it so please try not to stress." He reached over Tyler and put his hand on my growing stomach.

"Okay," I say. "I'll try not to worry."

"Should we put the kids to bed?" he asks.

"Yeah. They've had a long day," I say. "We tried to keep Tyler from getting sick and he got it anyway."

"I noticed that when I picked him up," he says. "He was coughing and his nose was running. Hopefully, it's just a cold."

"I agree," I say. "The last time he was sick, it scared the crap out of me."

"Me, too." He gets off the couch and carefully picks Tessa and Teagan up allowing me to get Tyler into my arms.

"Mommy?" he mutters as I jostle him getting to my feet.

"Go back to sleep," I say.

"I not tired," he says and I can't help but chuckle.

"Buddy, you were just asleep," I say, kissing his head. "It's time for bed."

"Okay," he sighs. I follow Tobias up the stairs and take Tyler into his room. I carefully lie him on his bed then change him into a pair of PJs without waking him. I tuck him in with a kiss to his forehead and turn on his nightlight before going to help Tobias.

"Is Tyler asleep?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say. "Even though he told me he wasn't tired."

"I thought I heard him say that," he chuckles. I manage to get Tessa into her PJs while Tobias gets Teags into hers then we tuck them into their big girl beds.

I stand in the doorway, looking around their room and still can't believe they are no longer in the nursery. My girls are definitely not babies anymore. I can't believe how well their room came together in such a short amount of time. The fairy princess mural Gunner did on three of the four walls and part of the ceiling, complete with fairies that look like Tessa and Teagan, toadstools of various shapes and sizes, a grand princess castle, a shimmering forest, and lots of animals, is absolutely stunning. The soft, chalky pastels contrast nicely with the off-white furniture making them stand out. I can't wait to give the girls their rocking unicorns on Teagan's birthday.

"What are you thinking about?" Tobias asks, as he slips his hands around me.

"How things are changing around here," I say. "It seems just like yesterday I was trying to figure out how to breastfeed both of them at the same time and now they are in big girl beds."

"Don't blink or they'll be teenagers."

"Don't even joke about that," I sigh. "That's not even close to being funny."

"Sorry, love," he says. "Come on. Want to watch a movie."

"I actually should do some work," I say. "I didn't get as much done as I wanted today since our girls decided to play Picasso on the playroom walls. I still have a rather large stack of files to go through."

"Picasso, huh?" he chuckles. "I've got to see this." He leads me into the playroom and flips on the light switch. We take a couple steps into the room and look at the once white wall. "Not bad. They have real talent." I lightly slap his shoulder. "I'm kidding. Should we paint over it?"

"After we take pictures," I say.

"See, you think it's good, too," he says.

"I never really got to look at it until right now," I say. "It is pretty good but we can't have the kids drawing on the walls."

"I know," he says. "I suggest we add a drawing center to this room. I think the kids would love that."

"That's a really good idea," I say. "All of them love drawing pictures. Maybe we can set up some sort of gallery in the hallway."

"I like that idea," he says. "I think the kids would love seeing their artwork on display."

"I better get to those files," I say with a sigh.

"I can think of something else you can do," he says, resting his hands on my hips. He leans down and places a kiss on my exposed crows. "The kids went to bed early. We don't have to go to bed for a few more hours. Do you really want to work?"

"What do you have in mind?" I ask.

"I think you know," he says, moving his mouth to my neck. I moan.

"You want to play Twister?"

"Naked Twister." We laugh heartily as he leads me to our bedroom. Work can definitely wait.


	55. Chapter 55

**Happy New Year everyone. Here's hoping 2019 is better than 2018.**

* * *

I'm up before the sun after a fitful night's sleep. I thought the anxiety churning in my gut would dissipate once Tobias and I made love but after he fell asleep, my overactive imagination started working double-time, leaving me wondering what horrors today would bring. I can't help but think the emergency meeting has something to do with my family since none of us were given specifics of what it's about. Maybe I'm overthinking this but the fact that Dad, Caleb, and I were given absolutely no details is making me extremely paranoid. If I knew Summer Miller or Sofia Rengard, Amity and Candor's representatives, phone numbers I would have called to ask if they were given the same message but, unfortunately, all I have is their email addresses.

I step into the shower and adjust the temperature to as hot as I can stand. I let the multiple powerful body sprays massage my tired, achy muscles for about five minutes then turn the temperature down to a more appropriate level for the babies. I'm lathering up head to toe when I feel a cool breeze wafts over me. I can't help the smile that turns up my lips. Tobias steps up behind me, and the feel of his hard, wet, naked body against mine sets my heart to racing and my breath catches in my throat.

"Morning, love," he murmurs against my neck, his voice thick with sleep. He wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me tight.

"Good morning, baby." I wrap my arms around his and tilt my head back, meeting his mouth for a soft, sweet kiss.

"What are you doing up so early?" he asks. He yawns widely as he lets me go. He reaches for his body wash and a washcloth.

"I have to leave soon for Abnegation," I say.

"Shit," he mutters under his breath, barely audible. "I forgot about that." He pours a generous amount of soap on the cloth and squeezes it until it foams.

"I wish I could," I softly murmur. "What are you doing up?" I watch as his hand slowly trails the thick, rich lather across his chiseled chest then down to his hard abs. I think he's doing it on purpose, putting on a little show. I try to tamp down the desire and lick my parched lips.

"The bed just wasn't the same without you in it," he says. "When I woke up, I thought maybe we could have a little replay of last night. I was disappointed when your sheets were cold. I knew that meant you weren't coming back."

"If it was any other morning, I'd love a replay," I sigh, thinking of how good it felt having him inside me, loving me. That would be a nice distraction. I take the washcloth from him and motion him to spin. He turns his back to me, and my hand stills midair when I see long scratches crisscrossing his back.

"Something wrong?" he asks, looking down at me over his shoulder.

"I scratched you," I say, somewhat embarrassed. Since I was on top most of the night, I'm not entirely sure how I did that. I run my fingers over the deep scratches then lean forward and gently kiss them one at a time. "Do they hurt?"

"No," he says, turning to face me. "Didn't even know they were there until you pointed them out."

"I'm sorry."

"What for? Being passionate? Making love to your husband? You have nothing to be sorry for."

"You know if the roles were reversed and I had that many scratches on _my_ back you would be berating yourself right now," I say. He's silent for a moment.

"You're right, I would," he says, "which I can see is totally stupid."

"Oh! Progress!" I say with a giggle. I run my hand up his chest and around his neck then pull his mouth to mine and kiss him softly, dropping the washcloth at our feet.

"I love you, Mrs. Eaton," he whispers against my lips.

"I love you, too." I suck on his bottom lip then nibble it lightly before plunging my tongue deep into his mouth. His hands freely roam my body before landing on my backside. He pulls me close and I moan into his open mouth when I feel his hardening length between us. I snake a hand down and wrap my fist around his large erection causing him to growl.

"Mama! Dadda!" Teagan calls out. We both freeze.

"Give us just a minute, Teags," Tobias hollers, his voice breaking at the end, as we untangle our arms.

"How did she get in here?" I whisper.

"I never thought to close our bedroom door," he says.

" _Mama!_ " Teagan cries at the top of her lungs.

"What is it, baby girl?" I ask as I stick my head out into the cool morning air, thick pools of steam escaping around me. "Are you okay?"

"No feel good," she whines, her hands on her tummy. "Need med-sin."

"Okay, I'll get you some medicine in just a minute," I say. "Can you go wait on Mommy and Daddy's bed for me?" Her bottom lip juts out and starts trembling. Her eyes well up. "Please? I'll just be a couple minutes." She bursts into tears. An expletive spontaneously rolls off my tongue and I grimace. We try not to curse in front of the kids. I quickly grab a towel off the rack and wrap it around my hair and retrieve my robe off the hook. After slipping it on, I step out of the shower and pick up my sobbing daughter. "What's wrong, Peanut, huh?" A long line of mumbling gibberish comes from her mouth, and I have absolutely no idea what she's saying. "Can you please calm down and take a breath for Mommy? I can't understand you when you're this upset." The shower turns off and Tobias sticks his arm out to retrieves his towel.

"What's wrong?" he asks her as he steps up beside us. He runs his large hand down her face, and it makes her look even smaller than she actually is. "You don't feel well, do you?" She shakes her head and cries even harder.

"Okay, let's go get you some medicine," I say. We make our way down to the kitchen, and I make a mental note to get another bottle for upstairs. I sit her on the island after getting the small bottle of grape-flavored liquid and the medicine dropper. She takes it with no fuss.

"Rock, Mama?" she sleepily asks.

"You want Mommy to rock you?" She nods. "Okay. We can do that." I pick her up, and she immediately rests her head on my shoulder. I carry her upstairs and back into my bedroom. I sit down in the rocking chair and Teagan sighs. "I'm so sorry you're not feeling well. I'd take it away if I could." I kiss her cheek, frown, then press my lips to her forehead. She has a fever. _Ugh! I hate leaving my kids when they're sick._ I momentarily wonder if I could send someone in my place but since I'm the council member of record for Dauntless, my absence probably wouldn't go over very well.

"Do you want me to take her?" Tobias asks. He's fully dressed and ready for the day. I once again glance at the clock and know that I have to leave within the hour to make it to Abnegation on time.

"Please," I whisper. I've been rocking my baby girl for about 15 minutes and know she's out like a light. I lift her just enough for him to get his hands under her, and he soon has her cradled against his chest like he did when she was a newborn.

"I'll put her back in bed," he says. "She's definitely out for the time being." I nod in agreement then go to the closet and pick out an appropriate outfit for the council meeting. Once I'm dressed, I tackle my hair. It nearly dried in the towel and everything I try to do makes it look even worse. I finally give up with a sigh and bend over the bath and use the hand wand to wet it again. After drying it, I use all the tricks Christina showed me over the past three years to style it into soft curls that hang down my back then I apply my natural-looking makeup. "You're gorgeous, you know that. You really don't need the makeup." I startle at my husband's gravelly voice but I can't help but smile at the compliment.

"You're just saying that."

"No." He moves up behind me and turns me to face him. He cups my face with his strong, large hands. "You get more beautiful each and every day." He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me reverentially. Not only do I love everything about him but I love the way he makes me feel about myself.

"I'm sorry we got interrupted," I murmur against his lips.

"Me, too. I guess I should have closed the bedroom door but it wasn't my plan to seduce my wife this morning," he says, his fingertips grazing my bare arms. "How about I make you some breakfast before you have to leave?"

"That sounds wonderful," I say. "I'm starving." I take his hand and follow him downstairs and into the kitchen. I set the table while he makes us crispy bacon, fluffy eggs, and lightly buttered toast. "Did you have a good night?"

"Slept like a baby," he says.

"Wish I did," I murmur before taking a bite of the perfectly scrambled eggs he just sat in front of me.

"You had a bad night?" he asks as his fork stalls in front of his mouth. "Why?"

"My mind was running all night," I say. "I couldn't shut it down."

"What's the problem?" he asks, setting the fork down on the side of the plate and looking at me intently. "Are you feeling okay?"

"It's not that. It's this damn meeting," I say with a groan. "I can't help but wonder if it has something to do with us."

"I can't see how that would be possible," he says, calm reason to my chaotic insanity. He picks his fork up and resumes eating.

"I know I sound paranoid, Tobias, but I just can't shake this bad feeling like I'm being led to the guillotine somehow," I say.

"That sounds a bit dramatic," he says.

"Well, you know me."

"Yes, I do," he says. He reaches out and covers my hand with his. He gently strokes his thumb back and forth, comfortingly. "How long have you been stressing?"

"Since you told me about it," I murmur.

"Love." He sounds disappointed, which I hate.

"After you fell asleep, the meeting popped into my head," I say a little defensively. "Once I started thinking about it, I couldn't stop."

"You should have woken me," he says. "We could have talked it through, and then we _both_ could have had a good night's sleep."

"I didn't want to wake you," I say, sliding my hand from under his then pushing my empty plate away. "No need for us both to be wide awake and stressed."

"We're a team, Tris. I'm always here for you," he says, gazing lovingly into my eyes. "You don't _ever_ have to face anything alone." I get up and sit down on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck as his circle my waist.

"What would I do without you?"

"You know you'll never find out," he gruffly says.

"I have to go soon." I glance toward the clock and groan. "I can't be late. That wouldn't look good for Dauntless." We both sigh as our mouths meet for a deep, open-mouthed kiss. Our tongues tangle and our teeth clash. Soft snickering cause us to part, and we look toward the sound of the laughter. Tyler and Tessa are standing at the bottom of the stairs. She's grinning from ear to ear but he's wearing a huge frown. How in the world did I not hear them come down.

"Good morning, you two," Tobias says.

"Do you _really_ have to go, Mommy?" Tyler asks, his bottom lip sticking out a mile, ignoring his father's greeting.

"Yes, I do," I say, getting off of Tobias' lap. I sit back down at my spot and beckon them forward. "Come here. Both of you." They take the few steps separating us, and I help them onto my lap. This definitely isn't going to be happening much longer. The babies must have had a grown spurt overnight because this didn't seem this difficult just yesterday. I hug them both tightly and kiss their heads. They return the affection eagerly. "I'll be home as soon as I can but until then, Bridget is coming to look after you guys. They both groan.

"I don't want you to go," Tyler whines and then he starts coughing. I look toward Tobias and see that he's already getting up to get their medicine.

"Tyler, buddy, you know I have to go," I say. "I may not want to, especially since you and your sisters aren't feeling well, but this meeting is important. It's my job."

"Can we go with you?" he asks.

"Yeah," Tessa interjects, apparently not wanting to be left out of the conversation.

"You can leave us at Grandma and Grandpa's," he adds sounding so hopeful.

"Oh! Gamma and Gampa!" You'd think she hasn't seen her grandparents in years instead of just days.

"As nice as that would be, Grandpa will be at the same meeting I'm at, and I'm sure Grandma will be very busy today," I say. "Plus, we don't want to make them sick now, do we?"

"It's not fair," he pouts.

"Sometimes life isn't fair," I say.

"Can you quit your job?" he asks, tears brimming his eyes.

"Did you just ask your mother to quit her job?" Tobias asks as he steps up in front of us, medicine in hand. Tyler nods sheepishly.

"Tyler, honey, that's not going to happen," I softly say.

"Open up," Tobias says to Tessa and she takes her medicine.

"What about you, Daddy? Can you stay home with us today? Just until Mommy gets home. _Please!_ " My husband kneels down in front of us so that he is eye level with our whiny son.

"What's up with you today, Tyler?" he asks after getting him to take his medicine.

"I don't want you to go," Tyler nearly cries.

"Mommy and Daddy both have to go to work just like every other day," he says.

"Don't you love us no more?" Tyler asks, his bottom lip protruding pathetically and the tears finally spilling.

" _Tyler Aaron_ ," I blurt but Tobias calmly interrupts.

"Buddy, your mom and I love you and your sisters more than you'll ever know," he says, cupping his face with a single hand and whisking tears away with his thumb, "but this is one lesson you've got to learn, you can't always get your way. Mommy has to go to Abnegation for a very important meeting. If she didn't have that meeting today, she would stay home with you, Tessa, and Teags since you're all not feeling well. You know she would. And I have a lot of things to do with initiation today that I can't put off. I'm just too busy to stay home. I'm sorry but just because we have to work doesn't mean we don't love you." I hate breaking my kids' hearts this way. I know they're just being whiny and clingy because they aren't feeling well.

"I'll be home as soon as I can," I say as I drop a kiss on Tyler's head and then Tessa's.

"You promise?" Tyler pleads.

" _Pwomise_?" Tessa apes beseechingly.

"I promise," I say. I look toward the clock and sigh heavily Now I really don't want to go to this meeting. "Tessa," I kiss her head, "Tyler," I kiss his, "you be good for Daddy until Bridget gets here and then be good for her." I hug them each tightly for a beat then set them on their feet then get to mine. "Do you two want to watch some cartoons?"

"Nemo, Tess?" It warms my heart when I see them getting along. They fight too often.

"Yeah," she says.

"That's a good choice," I say. "Come on." I put on one of their favorite movies, get them settled onto the couch, then say goodbye again before slipping out the door.

"Hey," Tobias says as he steps into the hallway. "I think you forgot something." I furrowed my brows, and he points at his lips.

"How could have I forgotten that?" I say with a smile. I step back up to him and pull his mouth to mine and give him a thorough, passionate kiss.

"You better go before we get in trouble for public indecency," he growls, running his hands over my bottom and giving it a playful squeeze. "I love you, Tris. Have a good day. I'll see you later."

"I love you, too, Tobias," I pant. I caress his stubbled cheek for a moment, letting my heart rate slow and give him a soft smile. "I'll call you when I get back." I glance at my watch. "Damn, I've really got to go." I give him another quick kiss then turn and disappear down the stairs, feeling his gaze on me the entire way.

Within minutes I'm behind the wheel of one of Dauntless' sleek, black sedans on the way to Abnegation. I reach out and turn the air conditioning to arctic blast. I can't believe how hot it is, and it's not even 6:30 in the morning yet. The heavy, humid air is making it very hard to breathe or maybe it's just my nerves. I'm practically jumping up and down in my seat as I navigate through the factionless portion of town, wondering what this damn meeting is about.

When two young men step off the curb in front of me, I slam on my brakes. My heart leaps into my throat at the thought of hurting someone just because I'm driving while distracted. I lower my window and wave at the pair, giving them an I'm sorry as I pass. I think they respond, although not too nicely, but it was hard to tell because I rolled the window back up to block the stifling heat.

With about 10 minutes to spare, I pull into the small parking lot by Abnegation's headquarters and search for an available spot. I can't believe it's so full this morning. I feel slightly awkward walking toward the nondescript building empty-handed but since I wasn't given instructions to bring certain files there isn't anything I can do about that.

"Good morning, Beatrice," my dad says, pulling me out of my head. He's waiting for me just outside the door, a look of worry on his face, which in turn makes me fret even more. He surprises me by pulling me in for a hug. This is very un-Abnegation of him.

"Hi, Dad," I say, patting his back.

"Look at you," he says, holding me at arm's length, his eyes on my growing abdomen. "You are absolutely glowing."

"And getting bigger by the day," I chuckle. I momentarily forget my worries while running a hand over my bump. "Just this morning I was thinking I wouldn't be able to have the kids sit on my lap for much longer. My belly is growing so fast."

"I'm sure they'll understand," he says as he releases me.

"I sure hope so," I sigh. "They've been _very_ clingy lately."

"I'm sure it's just a phase. You and Caleb went through something similar when you were toddlers," he says. "How are the girls feeling this morning? Four mentioned they were sick when we spoke last night."

"Ugh! Now all three of them are sick," I say, shaking my head. "I was hoping to keep Tyler from getting it by sending him to daycare while Four was at work and keeping him isolated at night but he came down with it anyway. He really didn't want me to leave this morning. For a split second, I thought about sending someone in my place but I knew duty called. He wasn't having it, though. He wanted to come along and go to your house. Tessa was onboard with that plan. When I told him no then he decided I should quit my job."

"Oh, that boy," Dad chuckles, shaking his head. "I hope they get to feeling better – for all your sakes."

"Yeah, me, too." I let out a huge sigh. "Thanks, Dad."

"Dad, Tris." I look over my shoulder and find Caleb coming our way. "Wow! Look at you. It hasn't been that long since I saw you. You're bigger than Cara."

"How is she feeling?" I ask feeling like a bad sister for not keeping in touch about her pregnancy.

"She's been doing better than she was," he says. "She's still having morning sickness but it doesn't seem to be as bad as before. How are you doing?"

"I still get sick from time to time but nothing like it was," I say. "I'm well into my second trimester so I'd like to hope that the morning sickness totally stops one of these days but I'm not holding my breath. This pregnancy is so different from the last one."

"So, what's this meeting about?" Caleb asks, turning towards Dad.

"I'm not at liberty to say." I raise my brows at him as Caleb's face twists.

"Why can't you say?" I ask. "You told Four you didn't know anything. Did you lie?"

"It's best we not get into that here," he says, looking all around us. "It will all be revealed soon enough."

"I feel like something big is going to happen, and I'm being kept out of the loop," Caleb grumbles.

I hit my brother on the shoulder and say, "Thank you! Glad to know I'm not the only paranoid one in the family."

"You think I'm being paranoid?" he asks, sounding _completely_ paranoid.

"That's not what I meant," I say, trying to placate my brother by patting his arm. "But I think something is definitely going on that either directly or indirectly impacts us … personally."

"Now who's sounding paranoid," Caleb mutters.

"You two stop it," Dad grouses but he doesn't confirm or deny our suspicions.

"Andrew, it's time," Matthew Williams says, sticking his head out the door.

"Okay," he says. "We'll be right in." When the door closes with a squeak, Dad turns to me. "Beatrice, call Four. You're going to need him."

"What?"

"Call him. Get him here now." He swiftly turns and heads into the building, leaving Caleb and me staring at his vacant spot.


End file.
